#AstraStuff

[astraofterra]

I'm less than two hours into my Signalis playthrough but I already feel the severe brainrot setting in

#signalis #astrastuff

[astranite]

Anyone got any fic recs for fluffy and hurt/comfort Tracies?

Especially with John or everyone or earth sky? But anything really. Especially if there be hugs.

Having a not great time of it with some not great medical news. Pretty much what I expected and its not like im not already dealing with it all, and things will get better when i can manage it better, and even though its long term everything will be okay. But its still shitty and it still sucks.

And i am tired and hurty and feeling mleh and want some fic to read.

#thunder fam sos #astrastuff #more tired and hurty that usual given ive really overdone it this week #got diagnosed with loosey goosey disorder (joint hypermobility) #and free bonus chronic pain and fatigue #gotta laugh till you cry i guess #probably going to pick some tracies to project the feels onto soon #i am dealing tho

[astraofterra]

I got caught playing League of Legends and @aryshacore did not sugarcoat it

#astrastuff

[astraofterra]

The rare astra selfie, felt kinda less dysphoric for once

ft. blåhaj

#astrastuff

[astranite]

On one hand, I'm making an abysmal amount of progress on the thing I'm meant to be doing. Because the concentrating is not working :(

But on the other, at least I'm not angstily spiralling over other semi-unrelated stuff. (what do you mean like yesterday)

But on the other, other hand I'm putting rather a lot of thought into chopping my hair short again literally right this second or dyeing it an outrageous colour. Like electric blue or aquamarine or really fucking purple. Like to the point of considering if I have a legitimate excuse to go to the chemist and 'accidentally' acquire a box of hair dye and/or bleach. Or wondering how likely am I to fuck up with only my bathroom mirror and a random pair of scissors.

And its all the sort of idea that you don't know if its brilliant or oh no what have I done, until its far too late.

#AstraStuff #why am i like this #im not sure whether i should be encouraged or stopped at this point #there is stuff i am meant to be doing #and its not this #alas more nonsense

[astranite]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people however many you want who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals & followers!! <3

Greetings! So, five things that make me happy, in no particular order:

the ocean- swimming in it, walking on the beach, looking in rockpools, learning about the creatures in it. And whether the weather is sunny with deep blue skies or grey and stormy.

writing and drawing and crafts. I just love making and creating stuff. Which might be a little self evident by now

reading- books, fic, pretty much anything. For learning things, for fun, for all the emotions everyone keeps putting me through!

hanging out with and talking with friends- hi hi to the new friends I've made here! And hi to the friends I have yet to befriend too!

my friends being happy and excited about stuff, and getting to be happy and excited with them. Whether its rambling about writing and drawings in progress, or infodumping about things that make them happy, or nerding out over learning cool new stuff, just all of it!!!

:D thanks for the ask!

#astrastuff #thunderfam #answernite

[astranite]

Fanfic self-rec!!

So a while ago I got tagged by @forest-falcon (im 99% sure), and I didn't get to it at the time, but I really wanted to do it! So here it is, very belatedly and based entirely off my memory of the post because I don't have the energy to conduct an archaelogical excavation of my blog as I can only hope I tagged it well.

~very paraphrased~ rec five(?) of your works and why you are proud of them. Then tag x amount of people. (I think it was also for art not just writing?)

Probably the most chaotic way of answering this. Also turned into a bit of me reflecting and musing over my writing.

But in no particular order as I'm proud of them for different reasons :)

----

Blue Skies- tumblr Ao3 Scott and Bereznik with Gordon too. Very whumpy, then hurt/comforty. I am extremely proud of this one, like so so proud. There is a massive amount of emotion in it, written all in one go and I stayed up to 1 am to finish it. It is a lot about trauma and honestly a lot of putting feelings onto paper. But all the details, the parts I think i did a really good job of viscerally showing instead of telling, the blue skies theme. It's intense and there are many awful, painful things, but there is also hope. That's definitely a main theme of my writing: no matter what I put them through, they will come out of it and there will be hope again.

Bruised- tumblr Ao3 Earth and Sky. Hurt/comfort. Some Virgil worrying over Scott, a bit of classic Scott-angsting, then lots of brotherly affection between them. The end is very Soft. Everyone gets a hug and then to sleeeep.

Squid Hug- tumblr Ao3 FishTanky fluff with lots of cuddles. Makes a good comfort read, with a bit funny, a little silly, and a good dose of hurt/comfort leaning heavily to the comfort. Did I mention the hugs?

As Sure As The Stars- tumblr Ao3 trans Alan! A realisation of it, and a coming out. And Alan and John together stargazing and a conversation on the roof. I poured alot of growing up queer experiences into it for myself and it also seemed to resonate with others too.

Pride Paint And Rainbow Pins- tumblr Ao3 My first Thunderbirds fic and for Thunderpride too!! Its short, fluffy and sweet! Some artist!Virgil plus a few puns. (And I really wish I had all of those pride pins, because I made the designs of nearly all of them up and I love them). And the pride themes! It really makes me happy in itself. But as well for being my jumping off point in Thunderfam. It has many of my queer headcanons for everyone when I'd been too shy (and anxious about being welcome) to make them into my own post.

Bonus points to the numerous WIPS I am working on that are as yet unfinished but I am still very proud of and can't wait till I do!

The Blue Blanket Fic!! I can't not mention it! I'm working on turning it into a full fic, which the first part of is here. But look at what @edutainer2022 and I already wrote. There be feelings, there be Scott whump, there be the blue comfort blanket!

:D

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #astrawrite #astrastuff

[astranite]

Wow making art would go so much easier if I didn’t have to keep stopping to convince myself, “No I have not created a hideous abomination of a failure. It’s fine. Like it is absolutely not that bad, sure it’s not perfect but shut up brain.”

Mini art vent/ whinge because really, seriously, there is no cause to run screaming away from my sketch book when I’m finally drawing. Grrrrrr.

#astrastuff

[astranite]

I am having an ADHDay...

can anyone tell I am scrolling through tumblr instead of writing because I cannot concentrate for more that two seconds and they aren't consecutive!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

(don't mind the frustrated screeching.)

I really want to WRITE!!! It's not even boring, i actually want to do it, i reallly want to do it and im having fun, but AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(more frustrated screeching.)

(im fiiiiiiinnnneeeee...)

(making a silly dumb post to throw to the void)

(probably because no meds at the moment)

(but still AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

(and trying not to be too annoying to all my friends, and also literally anyone in my proximity)

(but my brain feels like a shaken up can of soda/soft drink / pop or what ever you want to call it (only one of those is the correct answer))

(AHHHH tangent!!!!)

(Dont mind me, just gonna hit the post button and SCREECH INTO THE VOOOIIIIIDDDDD!!!!!)

#astrastuff #adhd

[astraofterra]

Dehydrated and severely sleep-deprived but I stay cute

#astrastuff

[astranite]

A Vague Attempt at Organisation!

** OKAY THIS RANGES FROM INCOMPLETE TO INCORRECT AS FAR AS MY LOGICALLY NONSENSICAL TAGGING SYSTEM GOES. I am in fact intending to fix it when i get around to it**

Mostly here as a little post so I might have a chance at finding stuff on my own blog from the dark depths of tumblr. May help others too. (Greetings!!!)

My Tags!

** i use the tags ‘whump’ and ‘bugs’ if you wanna avoid those things or if you want to specifically find them.

AstraWrite- all my writing!

AstraStuff- miscellaneous and personal stuff that I have said

Astra art- all my art!

(note for future me: make an ask/answer tag)

Thunderbirds Tags!

Thunderbirds Are Go- if it’s thunderbirds, it’s probably under this. Unless I’ve missed it. Or not tagged it.

Thunderbirds fanfiction- both mine and other peoples’ are tagged here

Thunderbirds fanart- same but art!

Thunderfam- community!

Thunderpride- Pride and thunderbirds yay!

Miscellaneous Other!

I believe I might have tagged some stuff as Writing Ref or Drawing Ref?

(Will likely edit this later.) (An attempt because I’ve seen other people organise their blogs like this and it is very helpful) (Still kinda working out how to tumblr, so if anyone has a good/better way of doing this/other stuff that is useful to include- help!)

#AstraStuff #Maybe I should have made the tags links? #Or like a master list of the fics and the arts of mine? #somewhat confused by technology in general

[astranite]

Tumblr has just Done Something and what the fuck.

Why do the reblogs now have the little symbol then the name in a different order? And often it won't show who was involved in the reblogs. The posts are shaped different too, I think.

Something is Different. It is Evil, I am Experiencing the Horrors, and I hate it.

#astrastuff #i know im whining #but really again?

[astraofterra]

I know that being trans means you're never completely safe anywhere, but I thought this website was at least a bit more welcoming than the others. Though I guess that just shows my naivety. Stay strong everyone

#astrastuff

[astranite]

vent post because I am a mess and i've just got to stick it all somewhere. I don't even know what or why I'm putting it here. Just there is way too much inside my head.

(trying to stick all of my intensely personal bullshit under a cut)

Just a whole pile of stuff. (this isnt even the half of it). A whole bunch of things I thought i was okay about but maybe I'm really not. And that maybe my whole scale of okayness is kinda fucked up. And i seem to randomly swing from telling myself this is fine to no wait its all pretty fucked up. Basically that meme of the dog in the on fire house going this is fine. Welcome to everything is on fire but we're not freaking out about it because we're past that point. But sometimes it feels honestly okay and then something else hits.

Nothing in my life is even that bad. I'm getting my shit together. Its probably better than it has been in a while (or maybe its not, i dont know). I'm making positive progress towards the future. I drafted a job application. I'm trying to unfuck my tertiary studies. I literally keep telling myself I'm an adult, even though I feel like a fuck up kid still.

I just want to move the hell out. So I'm making steps towards it. Not because its bad, bad. More conflicting access needs I guess. And I feel trapped here and on guard and responsible for everything. Or Im just a problem or have problems because clearly everyone else is fine but that's probably not a great way to think.

Not sure what I'm feeling right now. Actually mostly just numb and vaguely ill. Yay for crushing down all your emotions until you can't feel them any more. Because, yeah, I can't be upset about things. It scares and worries people and I'm already way too intense.

And when I do it, i seem calm and fine to people, and hey neither crying nor panicking has be a good thing. Except I'm blank when I know I'm upset or would be, and its not fine. Honestly probably a bit messed up. Huh.

(I know its not good for me. I am so very aware of this) (i know hiding stuff is literally one of my biggest 'things are getting bad' red flags)

I'd probably be way more okay if I was crying and yelling and getting mad about stuff. Instead of just quietly, calmly imploding. Or walking around and smiling and acting normal. (its only sometimes, not all the time. And just happens to be right now)

Also past shit keeps metaphorically walking up to me, and maybe I didn't process it great. because its evidently still bothering me even though its years ago.

(Yes, realising some of this stuff was a That moment when you're writing and you realise that wow character has a whole bunch of issues. Then that was at least 50-70% me.)

I do keep picking myself up from the floor over and over because I'm too stubborn not to.

Also: I'm so sick of being misgendered by family. Like they do support me and are trying with different pronouns. But getting it right barely any of the time. And if I call them out on it to correct them, then they get upset. So I just have to put up with it silently, and yeah, she's trying, so I feel like I can't be upset about it but it still hurts, and maybe its not good enough. And I don't even know whether I could change my name, at least not without upsetting peopl, I've been told "please don't change you name, I like your name" but I don't even know if it feels like me. It's like people are supportive, but being nonbinary or trans or anything isn't actually a valid option. They/them isn't that hard if you practice it and even if it is it's still very much important to me. And none of them think of me as such which is maybe the problem. Except my friends, who actually do get it right which is nice.

I guess I'm struggling. And also all my friends and family have way too much of their own stuff going on.

So stupid vent post yelling into the void, it is then. Maybe I'm just being dramatic about it all.

I'd say I'm okay and don't worry (if anyone's even fucking reading this) but that would probably be more concerning. But I'll survive this like I survived every other fucking thing the universe has thrown at me.

(and I will and have asked for help, so stuff is at least sort of getting sorted, because this is not my first mental health rodeo.)

#AstraStuff #I dont know what the fuck this all is at this point #just that writing this is probably better than just rotating in around in my head #like a particularly messed up microwave #there is very much a temptation to delete this but instead here i am throwing it to the void

[astraofterra]

soft. take.

He doesn't look so good, get this boy a lasagna asap

#astrastuff #ask

[astranite]

Currently minorly grumpy because I have Writing Ideas! And Prompts! And asks! And stuff to draw! And fic to read! And yet more writing ideas and I really want to write. But not the mental bandwidth to actually do so. Things will get better, already sorted a massive amount of stuff today. But I want to write Right Now.

Alas off to sleeeeep. After reading on of my own fics for a bedtime story because i dont have the energy to process new fiction at this very second. Or choose between the gazillion fics I want to read.

#astrastuff #just having a bit of a whine #dont mind me