#At least I have my IRL BFF - who's the same orientation as me - and a few online mutuals who understand.💗

[stargazerlillian]

Dreamt last night that my mother bought me a pride flag for me to hang on my wall... took me 10 straight minutes after waking up to remember that I tried to come out/explain my orientation to her twice over 8 years ago and she didn't believe me.💔

#Blooming where I'm planted #Don't get me wrong - in many aspects she's a wonderful and loving mother. She was able to accept my gay nephew... #... when he came out and when he married his husband. I just wish she'd TRY to understand/respect... #... my label as well. There's just something heartbreaking about how she's more likely to accept me... #... if I were homosexual or bisexual than if I were this “secret third thing”. #Needless to say I have not tried to come out to her again since then. And I'm not going to try... #... with anyone else in my immediate family either. I'm just too afraid. #Staying in the closet sucks but it's for my emotional well-being so what can ya do?🤷‍♀️ #At least I have my IRL BFF - who's the same orientation as me - and a few online mutuals who understand.💗

[laveritaswoman]

And the Award for Best Fake Offscreen Ship Between Two Co-Stars Goes to ...

Well ladies and gentlemen, the last four years have been a long, crazy adventure for SC shippers in the OL fandom. But on January 22, 2018, our shipper boat took a direct hit courtesy of a barely noticeable news brief in People magazine: OL’s leading lady CB “confirmed at the GGs” that she and “fellow Irishman” (*cough, cough*) TM are engaged and CB is “very happy!”  Very.  Happy.  And just so everyone (read: shippers) is clear on the timing, “she was first seen with (T) in 2015.” So I guess that’s supposed to mean they’ve been dating since 2015, right? But we have to guess at that because C hasn’t spoken to any other media outlet about T or her engagement, and has yet to post anything about it on her social media. She didn’t even mention it during on-air GG red carpet interviews on the very night she shared the news with People (apparently because People had the “exclusive”). Instead of talking about her pretty big life event (at least for most people) when she was asked “so what’s new,” she spent her on-camera time speaking about sending S home and the Time’s Up “blackout,” all while hiding her engagement ring from view. 

Hey, SamCait shipper sisters, how did we miss this? So C has really been with T for the last 2+ years and not with S? But, but, just … how? Well, “obviously” we weren’t paying attention! Oh wait, we were paying attention, but we thought SC were together — even though they denied a relationship — because their actions rarely matched their words. That and the fact that we noticed that C and S never really showed any interest in or paid any attention to their SO adjacents. So why were shippers, journos and many others led to the believe that SC were a couple, despite their words to the contrary? Well, ACTING, obviously. S and C are actors, you know, and pretty good ones at that. So what do I, as a shipper (or former, IDK) think about all this? If this CT engagement is TRUTH and S and C never had a relationship IRL or aren’t covering up one now, then SC deserve ALL the acting awards for making us think they were together offscreen as well as on. S and C truly and completely convinced me and thousands of others (yes, thousands ... just check @jamesandclairefraser followers) that they were SOs offscreen too. But why, if they are such stellar actors, didn’t they just play the part of “great offscreen friends and co-stars,” instead of showing so much sizzling, sexually-charged chemistry offscreen that many were convinced they were together IRL? Especially if they really, really wanted us to believe they were not together. Why was C able to play the offscreen good friends co-star part so convincingly with Tobias, but unable to do the same with S? We know Ron Moore would have probably approved of SC toning it down, because he did his level best to make the show about a “love triangle, not a JC love story. Why didn’t the show staff or their agents tell them to take it down a notch, that fans would still love them and TPTB would still approve of a “friendly friends co-stars” act as long as the high ratings and money continued pouring in?

And what about the other actors on the show? Surely, in countless interviews after the IFH, don’t you think Tobias — another great actor — would have observed SC sitting “no room for jaysus” close, grooming each other, making crazy flirty eye contact and little mouth pouts at one another, all the while telling reporters “we’re not together ... just great acting ... sorry fans can’t separate us from our characters.” Don’t you think that after at least one of these interviews, that Tobias -- a cool, forthright guy who S and C highly respect for his acting chops -- would have pulled them aside and said, “Hey guys, nice interview and you both showed great chemistry and the audience/interviewer loved you, but you may want to tone it down since some people are still convinced you two are together when you’re ‘obviously’ not.” I don’t think if Tobias said this to S and C that they would have said “Oh Tobias, you’re full of shit because we’re not misleading anyone. If our fans can’t see that our sexed-up off-screen antics are just an act, then they’re just crazy and delusional!” Why did joking jokers like Steven Cree and Richard Rankin just politely listen, smile, and not make one sarcastic remark on-air when SC launched into their loved-up innuendo at panels and Cons? Don’t you think a no-shit guy like Cree would have jokingly called them out during the interviews (or in tweets afterwards) by saying something like, “Since were talking awards season, I nominate S and C for the MTV Fandom Award for Best Fake Offscreen Ship Between Two Co-Stars.” If jokes like these had been peppered throughout interviews fairly regularly, it would have gone a long way toward getting people off the ship and preventing new ones from boarding. 

And why, even when she acted onscreen post-IFH with S and C, would Rosie Day tweet C this birthday greeting on C’s PUBLIC Twitter account in 2016: “@caitrionambalfe HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you have the loveliest day … And @SamHeughan treats you like the queen you are” (followed by 11 interesting, some might even say, “suggestive of a relationship” emojis, including a heart, champagne and wine -- things you might have on a date, for instance)? Couldn’t Rosie have tweeted instead “Hope everyone on set treats you like the queen you are”? or “Hope #TonyMcGill treats you like the queen you are” (followed by suggestive emojis)? WHY did Rosie have to make C’s bday best wishes about S? And then C responded:  “Thank you honey xxx.” If C didn’t want delusional fans to get the wrong message, she should have tweeted Rosie back: “Thank you honey. My civilian SO and I have great plans for this evening.” That would have shut down all the shipper celebrations that ensued shortly after that tweetfest and still allowed C “privacy.” And they continued crossing the line into sexual innuendo, whistling and checking out each other’s “assets,” as well as knowing too much about each other’s personal habits (4 a.m. workout … no) and identical interests and likes (sancerre, Netflix and chill, banoffee pie). 

Come on, SC (or at least “Captain S”) had to know they were pushing things too far when shippers were shipping and tweeting them like crazy and every article was about their “amazing chemistry” and asking whether it was acting or for real. Again I ask, WHY DIDN”T ANYONE TELL THEM THEY WERE TAKING THE CHEMISTRY THING TOO FAR AND MAKING PEOPLE THINK THEY WERE TOGETHER IRL? And if people did warn them about this — hell, someone must have — why didn’t SC listen for years and years?  Oh, that’s right, anyone who would think they were together offscreen must just be crazy and delusional! No one with two wits about them could possibly be getting mixed messages ... and SC ALREADY told everyone in a joint interview in early 2016 that they weren’t together. 

And still, the innuendo went on and on. S saw no reason why he shouldn’t whistle at C’s butt on the T2 red carpet. And C didn’t see why she shouldn’t compare her co-star’s genitals to a beer bottle, or a shrimp. And they could call each other “hubby” and “wifey” in tweets. And why would SC fans ever think the cute little emoji’s in their tweets were flirty little sexual innuendos? Come on, S and C just liked to make their tweets more colorful-looking and interesting by adding eggplants, blowfish, shrimp, peaches, umbrellas and cake — no one should have read anything more into it. And don’t all female co-stars simulate checking their male co-star’s “balls” and post it on social media ... trying to drum up fan support for a fave charity? And god, no, why would anyone ever think that feeling up your co-star’s breasts during photo shoots (repeatedly), telling the world you don’t wear modesty patches while simulating sex, being captured for perpetuity in S1 of OL moaning your co-star’s real name, and tweeting whilst sitting in bed together might be inappropriate ... if you’re not in an actual relationship with one another? Apparently, S and C’s real SOs were totally chill all these years with their sexually-oriented offscreen antics, so why weren’t fans similarly chill? And because they said they were “obviously” not together and just bff co-stars, they saw no reason that they couldn’t publicly stroke, whistle, grab breasts and tweet each other in a variety of sexual ways (and oddly, no one accused them of sexually harassing each other and neither did they). Why would anyone misinterpret their actions and ship them together? But some of us did. 

So, in what “may” be the conclusion of a 4-year roller coaster ride for a shipperdom filled with elation, creative brilliance, forged friendships, disbelief, battles with anti’s and trolls, “delusion,” anger, and gaslighting, here is what may well be the final honor shippers and ex-shippers alike bestow upon SC: “Best Fake Offscreen Ship Between Two Co-stars.” Indeed.

#samcait #sam heughan #caitriona balfe #shippers #OL #Outlander

[kostovas]

my diary post about my feelings before going to college

august 22, 2017, 10:06 pm, my room in El Paso

The way that I tend to deal with my problems/worries is that I don’t think about them and ignore them and keep ignoring them until they get so big that I’m forced to think about and deal with them.

That is basically what I have been doing this entire summer. I don’t even remember the last time I wrote in my diary and I’ve decided to start typing it out instead since I’m afraid I won’t have the motivation to literally write out my diary in COLLEGE, aka, the problem/worry, which branches out into a bunch of other little problems/worries (I’m going to be living 10 hours away from home, what if I mess up while doing the laundry, what if the work is too hard, my parents are going to be sad,) that I have been pushing away

Although to be honest about 90% of the summer consisted of me in my room writing fan fiction or watching Netflix or scrolling through twitter, I still really didn’t think much about it…

Orientation? Did I even write about it? It was fine, it was good, I instantly clicked with my roommate sara, yes, same name as me, and my orientation-roommate was nice but I have a weird after-taste about her because she told me she was Latina because although she is German Swedish Irish french Spanish insert a billion other super white ethnicities here, her mom is from New Mexico!

Orientation just felt like a more cramped, panicked version of NSLC camp which I went to last year. NSLC was like, a random pocket-universe where I met new people who I spontaneously had a lot in common with and thought about my future in entertainment business with just for fun. Orientation is where I met new people who I very un-spontaneously had at least one thing in common with, starting ut, and thought about my future for real.

I feel like I’ve got some things down, aka my class schedule and what music I could potentially listen to while walking around campus (my Austin playlist is a lot of vampire weekend and sza and I know that sounds like a weird combo but it feels insanely fitting) but for the most part I still very much have ABSOLUTELY ZERO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!

I…. AM PANICKING BIG TIME RIGHT NOW… I CRIED LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE I STARTED WRITING THIS… WHICH I HAVE NOT DONE (at least not over anything that wasn’t a book or a tv show or a movie) THIS ENTIRE SUMMER!!!

This summer, although filled with a lot of nothing and empty spaces, felt so perfect and so teenage-me. Maybe not truly me, truly what I would have done in my perfect world, but just… what I would do as a teenager. I know I’m still technically going to be a teenager for at least awhile in college, but, not like this. Not the El Paso bred high school boredom tennis court by Lorde Gilmore girls crying teenager. I’ll be something else, whatever it is, and I have no idea what. I am afraid to meet her. I am excited I am scared I am going to vomit all over this new computer I bought for college

I went to a lot of movies this summer, mostly with nicole and mostly at the Alamo draft house and mostly before they came out (baby driver, good time, which I both liked but baby driver way more).

I got my drivers license and I passed the test by literally oNE POINT

I drove by myself to nicoles apartment and we had weird conversations about our psychic feelings and premonitions about our own lives and deaths. That was the first time I drove by myself and it was for about five minutes and I sung out loud to dua lipa the entire time because I feel like falling asleep any time I go in a moving vehicle and theres no music and my dad drove me back later because it was raining.

I also drove to pick up alondra the Friday before she left for college. Her first day of school was today and she left like a week early. She’s in South Carolina at college of Charleston and I’m even scared for her. We got chick fil a and went home and talked about da Vinci and being Latina outside of El Paso and random memories and feelings and nothing and everything and nothing again

I hung out with my grandpa a lot, who has been staying here all summer. Yesterday he showed me a picture of my great grandpa who I had never seen before and I was so shocked, he looked like a real Mexican movie star cowboy, I have no idea what John Wayne looks like but he should look like my great grandpa, panfilo vela. Yesterday in particular my grandpa worried about pregnant women because the solar eclipse was happening and they were not wearing safety pins, a latino superstition he said so firmly as a scientific fact that I was really confused and briefly wondering if there was some sort of pregnant women’s medical pin. My dad said ‘that’s part of his charm’’ believing things so intensely, I guess. I think I got some of that from him

I went to San Antonio last week with tia 1 and valerie and Abuelita and my family. Tia 2 is usually the one to go on vacations with us, but she has this new best friend who she is in a two-person cult with, with her BFF/Bestie/Twinsie (yes, she is a 40+ year old woman, who calls her that) being the leader and her being the devout follower, paying for all her tickets to schiltterbaun and the movies and everything she buys while shopping and all her food and yelling at her employees for getting mad at her for something to do with a water bottle I don’t know but it’s definitely throwing off the balance of the universe.

But it was fun, tia 1 is very loud and charismatic and doesnt give any fucks and now I like to say “no mas mis chicharrones truenan aqui” also I am mad I am not more tan

I learned how to make crepes I have made at least 7 successful ones

Okay. so. crying. Here’s a text I sent to the vampire weekend group chat earlier:

(redacted) I really feel like my dad raised me mostly and he just took me out to the fanciest dinner of my life as a “father-daughter dinner” before college and he ran into some friends who were older than him and they were like “ur gonna miss her it’s gonna suck!” And I think my dad almost cried and we talked about heaven in the car and now I’m home and there’s boxes in my room and I’m staring at them and crying

end text

My dad put together those boxes for me with longhorn tape. Burnt orange duct tape with white longhorn shapes on them, literally That’s where my arts and crafts related headassery comes from

I’m going to be staying in a dorm at UT with my own restroom and now I’m thinking do I even really know how to clean a shower NOT REALLY

I’m gonna end up googling it while I’m there

I feel like I don’t actually know how to iron like I’m doing it wrong for sure

The restaurant was called cafe central it’s in downtown El Paso which I think is really truly beautiful even though objectively it’s ugly I’m super emotional and so I think it’s extremely beautiful and it’s just. I feel . It’s just how I feel.

I feel so in touch with the El Paso city it doesn’t even feel real. I feel like all the abandoned buildings are just cardboard cutouts and I have the power to knock them over with my fingertips. the homeless guys there don’t even scare me that much even though they probably should, not even the old lady with the bandaids all over her hands who stole Isaac’s hot dog once

god. That dinner was so fancy and I kept thinking about all these early 2000s chick flicks where a girl eats in a fancy restaurant for one reason or another and I kept thinking about how I love my dad and I kept thinking about how why do we need four different knives and I kept thinking about how that place started in 1918 so it probably wouldn’t have allowed someone who looked like my dad in there for awhile but there I was sitting with my dark brown dad eating food with names and ingredients I have literally never heard of and the chocolate cake melted into itself and chamomile tea is a gift from god

I read a lot of matt Murdock fanfiction today.

How am I 18 years old? I don’t want to… do anything ever… I want to read fan fiction and lay face down on the floor, but not even those two things can be accomplished at the same time.

NOTE: (redacted) means I took something out in case some certain irl people read this, maybe I should’ve taken the thing about tia 2 out but, well, I am somewhat at peace with death

#personal #me18 #writing #mine #diary

[angel-nero]

I was tagged by @wonderseverythingabove @glaspaladin and @kageyama-tobiyo sorta idk

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag

phone


napkins

Money


lipstick

mints/halls (i drink too much Coke to be eating mints and I bought two packages and… oh god)

Five Things In My Bedroom:

computer

books

huge ass scary wardrobe

clothes everywhere

a lot of lamps cus I like to draw and I am super blind.

no posters cus they never keep there. old 14 years old me wasnt happy about it 

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:

play piano

learn more languages

travel a lot


dance ballet

art

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

food

art supplies

good education

my dog! Fuck! I love my dog!

buying things I want

Five Things On My To-Do List:

enter uni

chill


study for uni

recovery

laundry yeah same

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

I get anxious a motherfucking lot about everything and no one irl knows besides my bffs. And family last year.

I eat a lot but can’t win weight and i am super skinny and look sick all the fucking time but…..

I might actually be v sick lmao. Im doing studies rn 

apparently I have french accent LMAO 🤠💦 some mx pals even asked me if I’m french and im like???? No??? i just cant focken speak right, okay? 

Im a coastal who doesnt likes seafood and old ppl constantly tell me shit about how i am missing the joy of life or how i am actually not a resident. yea, u rite, i am an alien 

Name?: Gabriela

Nicknames?: Bowie in school 🤠💦 gab, gabs, babe (gabe), uh, gabalooney toones? Idk dawn is nuts. dont call me gaby pls that's my mom 

Zodiac?: aries, constantly annoyed and an annoyance

Sexual Orientation?: Fuck this question honestly

Ethnicity?: mexican/Spanish but born in México, you get? Mexican

Favorite Fruit?: grapes

Favorite Season?: Summer. im a sucker for summer, find me in the beach, its too fucking hot so everyone wants to die

Favorite Flower?: idk i dont frikin care leave them alone

Favorite Scent?: scents that ain’t too strong. I rather breathe fresh air for all my life cus sometimes, no matter what smell, get me nervous 🤠💦 just… never food. any food

Favorite Animal?: all animals are cute I don’t play favorites

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: Hot chocolate even if it kills me. then coffee and kill tea. The only i’ve had is fuze tea lmao. tea i believe is fucking bad in here and this city is too hot to actually care. i love frappes

Cat or dog?: dogs

Dream Trip?: idk, bex’s ufo spots is actually a good one but i wouldn’t like to go to merica. Also… i wanna go to yucatán and see the place where the meteorito crashed and killed the fucking dinosaurs. and i think yucatán has a beach w pink water!!!! but nvm i checked and apparently you cant see shit. just take me somewhere idc

Number of Followers?: never will tell u

What do I post about?: i have two blogs. I used to post Queen/beatles pics and gifs and shitposts. In this one i was sooo quiet for like, 2 and a half years, I barely followed anyone and stopped entering once cus all i saw was su and v0ltr0n i was so lost in my dash 🤠💦 came back this year and its good 😎 and…… idk just texts i tag under bullshit.txt if u wanna block em. i wont b posting jaaaackshit

Do I get asks on a regular basis?: blep? Sometimes. I laugh cus when I was so quiet I answered em all on private. Look, that experience is fuckin hilarious to me cus i didnt have hopes of the anime fandoms or whatever   

Favorite Band?: queen. But i love a lot of music bruh. Queen was my first fav band so shut the fuck up and eat dirt if you say something

Aesthetic?: bleeeh bleh bleeeh bru the sun, keith, the desert, the beach, the sky, the universe, fight club and trainspotting, big buildings, parties, cool stories, me dyin

Fictional Character I’d Date?:  Eren 🤠💦. Listen…. I love him, and i knew about him when we were both 15… it’s special….. and now we are both 19….. and we’re so alike. I picked him so we could b friends actually he a little motherfuck

Hogwarts House?: gryffindor 

Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses (all the fucking time)

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined (i didnt even kno about this i checked a birthday pics w my friends and i had a croptop an suddenly i had abs. its from laughing probably)

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well (my throat is super fucked fam i barely can speak :/)

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling 

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports (bleeh sometimes)

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships 

I have never been in a relationship (almost v close actually)

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close at my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the united states

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce (axayactl but its easy tho and whe called him axa!)

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life (yah whatever who care)

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

i dont kno who to tag, idk who is down for this lm but if you see this and wanna do it…………… bbbbleaaassseeeee consider yourselfie tagged ily we dont have to b mutuals. tag me tho so i can read it!!!!!!!! i‘d love to 

#LONG POST #tag meme #THANKS Y ALL I FINALLY DID IT #still sick tho #feeling like bullshit #but ima here #im sorry................ other followers for this long ass post #English might b horrible cus idk English actually:-//: