#BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK

[daniactuallysnuffledthatpopcorn]

Painting Flowers (Chapter 13)

[A/N] My camp Nano project from April 2014. Heavily edited.

Summary: Dan has come to accept that his psychotic episodes and hallucinations are here to stay, when he meets Phil Lester. Although Phil can’t fix Dan, he does give him something to fight for. Something to try for, one last time.

WARNINGS: Mentions of self harm and suicide. Deals with mental illness, hallucinations and psychotic episodes.

Word count: 2.4K (34.1K total)

<-previous chapter -- next chapter->

Start at the beginning

Michelle was the first to enter the room after the three men. She immediately noticed the post it notes scattered all over the floor, with words written on them that she could not read yet. She recognised the behaviour. It was something she’d told him to do herself. ‘If you’re feeling down or if any of the voices are saying bad things to you, write it down on a post it note and rip that to pieces.’

He hadn’t given himself time to rip these ones to pieces. He’d probably moved on to the next note as soon as he’d finished writing the previous one. With so many voices in your head talking at the same time it was hard to keep up.

--

Dan spent three weeks in the hospital this time. He was restrained in a no-visitors-room for the first one and a half week and was then moved to a normal room, where he remained restrained for the rest of the week. It wasn’t until they were completely sure that he wouldn’t attempt to harm himself again that they let him walk around freely.

His parents and Phil visited him as often as they could, and Dan had met both of Phil’s parents too, who often came along with either Dan’s own parents or Phil. The two pairs of parents became friends easily, and although it felt strange to Dan that Phil’s mum and his own would come to visit him without Phil being with them at first, he quickly got used to it and he looked forward to their visits.

Phil’s parents even came to visit him on their own twice, and Dan couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy their visits. They were both the kind of people that could keep a conversation running no matter how uninteresting the other person was and they were constantly chatting away at him.

No matter how enjoyable everyone’s visits were, he still looked forward to the day he was going to be let go. Him and Phil had already planned a date for that day, despite both sets of parents advising him to go easy for a few days first.

When they realised that they couldn’t talk the two boys out of it, Kathryn insisted on at least driving them where they wanted to go, and that was how they ended up waving her goodbye while stood in front of that bookstore where they’d first met about five months ago.

Dan hadn’t been here very often ever since, and he felt a hint of regret tugging at his heart as he watched Andrea stack some books on a shelf through the familiar glass door. They walked in together, hand in hand.

Andrea looked up when she heard the little bell above the door go off, and she immediately smiled upon seeing them. “You two got together? I called it. I called it, Dan, didn’t I? I told you first time I mentioned him to you. I did say that, didn’t I? I don’t really remember actually. What can I do for you two boys today?”

“We’re just here to look around, really. Thanks though.” Phil gave her his sweetest smile and pulled Dan to the shelf in the back, with the astronomy books.

It was a tad dusky back there, as the lamp that was supposed to enable them to read the titles on the spines of the books was broken and only flickered a little occasionally. Like lightening.

It was already dark out, and they were sure to be able to see each other better if they were to stand in the middle of the store, but neither seemed to have the intention of moving away from the exact spot they were standing that moment.

Andrea couldn’t see them from where she was standing and they couldn’t see her. It was almost as if they were alone in the store, and when they heard her footsteps walk to the Staff Only door, after which she opened it, stepped through, and closed it behind her, they truly were alone.

Dan could just see the dark streets outside when he stood on his tiptoes to peek over the tall shelves standing in between him and the door to the outside world.

It was dark and a bit cold were they were standing, but all was forgotten when Phil carefully pulled him closer, hands on his hips. Dan was sure it wasn’t to hug him this time, as he kept his eyes focused on Dan’s own. Dan was perfectly willing to do this. More than that even. He had been waiting for this to happen was a better way to phrase it.

When Phil closed the distance between them a little, still giving him space to move away, Dan didn’t hesitate for even a second before completely closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to Phil’s. He felt soft and warm against him. Not just his mouth, but his entire body. The older boy wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist and pressed the two of them together, leaving no room between them. This time he didn’t give Dan the chance to move away, but it wasn’t like Dan needed that.

He wanted this. Maybe even more than Phil did.

He’d never kissed anyone before, but all the puzzle pieces seemed to come together just fine. Phil made up for Dan’s lack of skill with ease and they stood there for a good few minutes before one of them had the guts to carefully pull away.

Dan had the urge to look away when their eyes met again, but he didn’t. He knew he was blushing, but he was done looking away because he now knew Phil didn’t care if he was embarrassed. He didn’t care at all. “I’ve been waiting for that to happen for like a month.” Dan admitted.

Phil chuckled, “I’ve been wishing for it to happen for even longer. I wanted to make sure you wanted it too.”

“Oh, I definitely did.” Dan laughed, kissing him again.

--

They were sat on the steps before the ice cream bar, both an ice cone in their hands and both too busy with the other to remember to eat it. It wasn’t until Phil noted that the ice cream was starting to melt and run down his hand in little streaks that they took a break from their chatter to quickly eat them.

It was a pretty day in early May. The sun was shining brightly, heating up the stone steps so much that the two of them didn’t dare put their hands on them, and everyone was walking around in T shirts and shorts. Dan and Phil watched the people go by on the pavement in front of them, whispering a comment to each other every now and again.

It had already been decided that Phil was staying the night, so they were in no hurry to go anywhere, sat there in their short-sleeved clothing and the sun burning on their exposed arms and legs. “It was so freaking cold when we first met.” Phil said suddenly.

Dan was quick to agree, “I was freezing my ass off.”

They were once again quiet for a few minutes until Phil once again spoke up. “Your appointment with Michelle is next week, isn’t it? About the pills?”

Dan nodded. “Friday.” He said.

“So do you know what you’re going to say yet?”

Dan rubbed his hands together and stared straight ahead. “I’m thinking of trying them, you know, the pills. I want to talk to her about trying even stronger medication, because right now the pills I’m taking aren’t working that well anymore. I’ve been reducing my dose to make sure I don’t get withdrawal symptoms, but they’re practically useless for my hallucinations at the moment.”

“But there are stronger medications available, right? You can take stronger pills that will actually work and you’ll be able to feel as good as you did after those first two weeks?”

“Definitely. I want to try it, I really do, it’s just that I’m afraid I’ll have, like, an episode again because my voices and characters don’t want me to take them. They’re the only ones standing in the way of me and those pills.”

“Maybe it’s best if you make sure that for the rest of the week up until you start your new pills you’re not left alone again? Like if there’s no other option you could even get admitted to the hospital for a few days while you wait, right?”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind if you were with me all week.” Dan smiled.

Phil laughed and poked his arm, “Me neither, but I’ve got classes, you know.”

“I know, I was just joking. I think I can manage.”

“I hope so.” Phil said. He put his arm around Dan’s shoulders and kissed his cheek, “Man, am I glad I can just do things like this without you thinking I’ve gone out of my mind now.”

“Well honestly, I would’ve thought you were a little out of your mind if you’d done this two months ago, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have liked it.”

--

They walked into Dan’s room together. Dan hadn’t been there since the day of his most recent episode, and the first thing he realised was that they’d cleaned up. He never remembered much from what he did during episodes, but this time he was sure that he’d made quite a mess.

Two big plastic bags were standing on the bed, and he assumed those were the post it notes he’d written and thrown on the floor. As soon as he’d heard that he’d written them, when he was in the hospital, he’d asked his parents to keep them. He wanted to know. He wanted to read them all.

It would keep him strong in his decision to start taking stronger medication if he knew what kind of things the voices and characters said to him.

“Those are the post its.” Phil said as he pointed at the bags, confirming Dan’s assumptions.

“Yeah, I thought so. Did you help them clean up?”

“Yep, it was your parents, mine, and me.”

“Your parents helped?”

“Of course they did.” “They’re angels. You’re all angels. I don’t know how any of you even put up with me.”

Phil laughed and turned him around, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I chose to put up with you and never have I once regretted that decision. Please remember that. Always. I won’t regret this decision.”

“Sometimes I regret my decision myself.” Dan admitted.

Phil gave him a confused look.

“Sometimes I regret ever putting up with myself and making others put up with me.”

“If that means what I think it means then you need to drop those thoughts right away and set them on fire because that is bullshit and you are not to think that way.”

Dan grinned, “You always know exactly what to say, don’t you?”

“No, I just say whatever comes to mind.”

“Yet you always come across as calm and collected while you say the most perfect words you could’ve possibly said in that situation.” “Well, thank you. I do try to say the perfect things.” Phil laughed.

 Dan took the bags off the bed and started taking out the notes, carefully placing them on the sheets in long rows until the entire bed was covered in post it notes in all the colours of the rainbow. He smiled contently and took a step back when he was finished. Phil had sat down on his office chair and had watched him work.

“There.” Dan said.

“Have you read them all?”

“None yet. I wanted to arrange them first. Here, get up.”

Phil got up from the chair and stood next to Dan, looking at the arrangement of notes on the bed for the first time, as he hadn’t been able to see them from the office chair he’d been sitting in.

“You arranged them according to the colours of the rainbow.” He stated.

“I did.” Dan nodded.

“You know the order of the colours by heart?”

“Of course I do.” Dan said, proceeding by reciting them for Phil, “Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.”

“Yeah, but can you recite Pi to eleven digits?” Phil challenged him.

“I can recite it to 32 digits.” Dan replied.”

“Prove it, buddy.”

“I prefer a less platonic term, thank you very much.”

“Prove it, boyfriend.”

It had the desired effect, as it shut Dan up for a good few seconds before the younger boy nodded and started reciting Pi. “3.14159265358979323846264338327950.” He spat it all out in one breath with practised ease and gave Phil a content look when he finished.

“See now this is just unfair. You could’ve been bluffing and saying random numbers and I wouldn’t know.”

“Type them in on Google, I’m completely correct.”

“Okay, so why do you know Pi to 32 digits?”

“I learnt them on Pi day.” Dan said simply, as if that explained everything.

“You’re an impossible person. You truly are.”

Dan grinned, almost proud of himself for baffling Phil.

“So what I said earlier, about, how do I say this, I called you boyfriend, are you okay with that?”

Dan turned to face him and leaned against the wardrobe. “How do I say this,” He paused for a second while he pretended to think, “Fuck yes.”

He was immediately pushed with his back against the wardrobe by an overexcited Phil, who was pressing his own body against Dan’s and connected their lips in a strong kiss.

 By the time Dan finished reading all the notes it was nearly twelve and the two of them made quick work of putting them all back in the bags to clear the bed for them to sleep in.

They got changed into their pyjamas (which consisted of, in Dan’s case, a T shirt and boxers and in Phil’s case just a pair of boxers, because damn it was it hot), not bothering to take a shower and brushed their teeth together, standing close to each other even thought he bathroom was big enough for them to stand in front of the mirror together without touching.

Dan eventually fell asleep with his head on Phil’s chest and the latter’s arms tightly wrapped around him, and he had to admit that he hadn’t slept this well since, well, the last time he’d fallen asleep in Phil’s arms.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fiction #phan au #tw #tw self harm #self harm #tw suicide mention #suicide mention #painting flowers

[daddyconfessions]

sugar tales: Amoladora

Amoladora sent me a wink on whatsyourpice. I had all but forgotten about that site. Never been a fan of it really. Most of the girls I’d met were only looking for some quick cash IMHO. But after Ripoff, I couldn’t do any worse at this point. I reply back with an offer and 3 days later we’re texting.

Amoladora isn’t in town at the moment which works for me. I use the time to get to know her better and more importantly see if she is serious about a SD. Generally, I’m not as stern about wyp dates and if nothing happens as a result its no biggie. But I was admittedly salty after Ripoff  and down about 3 stacks with nothing to show for it.  

As we talk, she puts me at ease and I relax. I realize I can’t hold every sugar chick accountable for what someone else did. Feeling like I got part of my mojo back, I jump on SA and peruse the ads. I see Ripoff is still on there wrecking havoc. Bitch. I send out several messages, one to a young lady I’ll blog about next called Casino and another who would become Firecracker.

Btw, sorry it took so long to update my sugar tales. I was busy answering all your anons and private messages. Some of you ladies are really going through some things so glad I could help. Some of you other’s are too much.

Besitos Cohiba :)

And this one took longer because I still had the messages (text, email, etc.) so I went through them to write the post. Its still a bit choppy from my POV but I had to shorten it.

Anyway....within a couple of days Amoladora has allayed any concerns I have for the moment.  I bring up allowances, but she shy’s away from any commitment until after we’ve met. We go silent for a day or two, can’t remember how long really. Then she surprises me one morning and text me 7:30am. It’s amazing and funny how chicks know you’re up that early just because you have a job.  Baby wants to meet up that day. But the whole ordeal of Ripoff floods back into the mind and suddenly I want to cancel.

I shrug it off and by 1:30pm I’m pulling into some nice upscale apartments. I was shocked I got to pick her up actually. Lot of sugar chicks don’t go for that sort of thing. I haven’t had another chick in the car with me for quite some time including my wife (she hates my car). My passenger seat still looks new. I’m always meeting chicks somewhere or at the hotel. It’s always “I’ll meet you there…”  or some stuff like that.

As I wait in the parking lot, I catch a glimpse of this sexy as Latina coming down the stairs. At first I think its someone else but as she comes closer I see its Amoladora. Nice. Cuter than her pics. Body is nice too. A little extra belly fat, but nothing to complain about.  She gets into the car all perfumed up. “Nice car she says.”

We chit chat along the way. “You’re really cute,” she says randomly. Amoladora runs a manicured nail along the back of my hand and up my arm as I shift through gears.  Then she smiles at me, “I wasn’t expecting that. You got like a little preppy boy face.” Not sure if she was lying or not, but it sounded good. I needed the ego boost.

I pick an upscale chain. Its after the lunch rush so we get seated quick. We spark of a fairly decent conversation. She thinks I’m funny. Laughs at all my jokes. “So how are you a Mexican from Missouri,” I asks. She laughs. “Oh you have jokes Mister.” I go on cracking jokes for almost an hour. We manage to talk about our lives, experiences in the sugar bowl, our background. We run out of things to talk about so I bring up the allowance again.

“I think we’re looking for two different things sweetie,” she says. “That’s too low for me.” I smile and ask, “Well how much baby?”

She throws out an amount and I immediately agree to it. Too quick. She kicks me under the table. “Really? You were just giving me a shitty offer to see if I would take it?”  I tell her yes and we both laugh.

“I better watch you,” she says, wincing at me, pursing those full lips at me. She touches my hand again. “You’re really cute. “

I know tumblr. I’m a bastard. But hey, I was understandably a little salty after the last month with Ripoff. We order another set of drinks and then go on talking about some minute details of our arrangement.

“Can I ask a question babe?” she says, serious all of a sudden. I give her the nod as I sip of my drink. “How big is your penis?” I nearly spit my drink out. “How big is what?” I ask. We spend a few minutes talking about my size. Smh. She tells me she doesn’t like big penis’. Something to the effect she’s small down there and how she’s shaped. Smh. Only in the sugar bowl.

I tell her to relax. If it becomes uncomfortable we can stop. “Ok baby,” she says. “I trust you.”

By now its time to get back to work. I’m going on my second hour for my lunch break. If I leave now I can make it back by 4:30ish and be in my office when all the big boys walk by on their way out.  So I ask when we can have our second date. It’s the moment of truth. Is this the usual wyp date for me or am I on the verge of a new beginning? Amoladora  shocks me – she tells me something about her roommate is gone and she doesn’t have anything planned for the rest of the day. “We can get started baby,” I remember her saying. “Or do you have to get back to work?”

I did! I whip out the phone and send a few emails to cover myself for the afternoon. “I’m all yours baby,” I say putting my phone away.

Back in the car I tell her I have to run by the bank. “You need condoms too sweetie,” she says, confirming how the next 2 hours are about to go down. I’m thinking in the back of mind, “I’m about to tear the kitty up!!!” At some point Amoladora tells me she could really use some weed. I tell her no prob. I got the connect.

“No fucking way,” she says wide eyed. “You look so innocent. I wouldn’t think you did stuff like that.”

I don’t. About a week prior to our date, I was at a gas station when this fine ass black chick pulls up. I’ve been lazy about approaching girls in the vanilla world. I just don’t have that hunger I did when I was in my 20’s. And since I stay coochie down to the socks, its hard to put forth the effort and work the vanilla scene requires. But I couldn’t pass up this hottie. Maybe she’s into sugar?  We spark up a conversation and two minutes later I’m going nowhere fast. Then I realize she’s high. I ask her if we could hang out, maybe smoke a little ganga. Her whole demeanor changed. The conversation went from 0 to 100. I got a kiss, hug, phone number and the promise  of a potential vanilla/side piece type relationship. But my old ass didn’t save the number when I put it in my phone and later lost it. A day later I consult the Oracle about upping my game with a little 420. She tells me “Hell yea.” Says chick’s who smoke weed love a dude that has some. Can get it. “Shit, I met let you hit this if you come through with a bag,” she tells me. The Oracle is immune to my charm and money, so it means a lot coming form her. Never knew 420 was such an aphrodisiac….Back to our story.

I tell Amoladora I don’t smoke it, but I’d try a little with her.

Within the hour  we’re walking up the stairs to her apt. She tells me something about her roommate may be home so when we walk in I need to be as quiet as possible. A flag is raised. I see flashbacks of a month ago where Ripoff was disappear into a back room to change into something more comfy. The some bitch ass dude comes in all nonchalant like he just went to the store. Outside, more of the homies are waiting for backup…..My eyes dart around to see if I see anything suspicious. I’m nervous, but Bartholomew (my second brain) is in control now and I’m throwing caution to the wind. She opens the door and we walk into this upscale apt. with wooden floors and pretty swanky layout. I only take a few steps before she diverts me into a door on the right. It’s the bathroom and has another door to her bedroom. She pushes me in gently, follows me in and closes the door behind me.

Oh snap. It could be the perfect setup. Big wad of cash in my pocket. In a room that’s dark. Some buster could jump out at any minute. WTF? How did I let myself get back into this situation? Am I about to get robbed again?

Amoladora picks up an open bottle of wine on a nearby night stand and says, “let’s finish this.” I sigh in relief. Heart stops pounding.  I chuckle at being smuggled in like I’m some guilty pleasure of hers. Reminds me of back when I was teenager, sneaking into some girls house. She runs to the kitchen and returns with 2 glasses. We sit on the bed and talk, sipping wine. Before long we start to kiss. I can taste the sweet taste of wine on her supple lips. Even as I type this, I can recall the taste like it was yesterday.

By now, Bartholomew  is about to bust through the zipper. Then I realize I hadn’t took my Lamar Odom’s (herbals  for those who don’t know) before I left work. Oh well, I don’t think I’ll be having a problem today anyway.

Before long we’re taking turns removing clothes articles of clothing. After several minutes of play, I’m naked. I push her back on the bed and go down on her. The kitty is fresh and clean. I pour a little wine on her, just a few drops, as began to thrash her with my tongue. I watch her face and upper body to see how my efforts are going. Sometimes licking the clit directly doesn’t always achieve the right results. And even if it does, there is a certain amount of pressure she might like, hard, soft, medium, and then there’s speed – fast, slow….it’ a guessing game at best. I lick the kitty in several places until I find the right spot. She’s squirming and arching her back now. Got her. I cup my hands under her buttocks and raise her up. Her back arches and she becomes stiff. I got the muff right in front of me now. A couple of times she tries to push my head away but I ignore it. She’s playing the game so many before her have – refusing to cum.

I’ve had girls tell me its against the rules. They’re not suppose to enjoy it. Blah blah. Probably in some sugarbaby rule book somewhere. The shit I hear I tell you. As usual, I just bulldoze right over that bullshit and mercilessly thrash the clit with my tongue. Before long she’s cums. Her body twitches violently as she grabs the back of my head. I remove my hands and let her fall back to the bed, then I wrap my arms around her thighs. No sooner does she cum then does she push my head away. She tries to move away but I anticipate as much and I pull her back to me and continue my assault on the clit. “Babe, st—“ she tries, but I’m going to town now. No intention of stopping.

Before long I’ve chased her across the bed, with my head buried between those creamy thighs.

She’s about to fall off the side when she sits up and says, “Okay. Stop baby. I’m sensitive now.”

As I move away from her slightly, I still see her stomach fluttering and her lower body twitching. I kiss and rub on her legs and lower torso while she recuperates. “I never came twice in a row baby,” she says, rubbing a hand over my head. That’s my cue….. I go back down again. She stops me and tells me its my turn. My kind of girl :) We switch. She licks the shaft a few times and looks at Bartholomew. “Its big baby,” she says, voice sultry now. She continues on, licking the shaft before taking Bart in her mouth and going down a quarter of the way. She has a pretty good technique of suction and simultaneously working the tongue on the shaft. Now it’s my turn to twitch and squirm like a little bitch. Pretty good fellatio I’ll admit. No deep throating, not a lot of saliva, but I’m satisfied. She stops suddenly and apologizes that she can give me a better BJ due to some teeth problems.

She doesn’t know I’ve heard that one many times before. “Oh I can’t give head because I had a tooth pulled” or “I’ve had some recent dental work so I can give you a BJ” or “I have braces, it may hurt you” or “I have braces and can’t open my mouth as wide …” or “I have problems with my wisdom tooth” even though she’s 25. But maybe Amoladora is telling the truth. She does happen to have Bartholomew in her mouth when she says it.  I tell her to keep going, she’s doing a good job despite her “mouth” issues.

I had no idea that was a precursor to future problems.

When Bart is good and hard, we slide on the condomn. She tries to get on top, but she can’t take it. I’m too big.  We switch and after a few gentle strokes, I’m able to get a good rhythm going. Baby is nice and wett. I think she’s a keeper.  Before long she’s raised her legs and wrapped them around me, encouraging my thrust. I oblige, burying myself deeper inside her with each thrust. Amoladora bury’s her fingernails gently in my back.

If you’re wondering how I remember this even so vividly its because  no sooner than it began then did it end. I cum before I know it. Damnit. I wanted to enjoy it more. But since I was sans Lamar Odom’s, my stamina was off. Bart was down and out. I would have taken them if I had known we’d be getting physical on the first date. I totally expected to pay for the wyp date and call it a wrap.

Afterwards we lay in the bed chatting. I inquire about her living situation and she tells me she has an old friend who lets her stay in the apartment. As long as she respects him she can stay but she wants her own place.

Him?

She explains its just a guy she knows that’s helping her out. But doesn’t offer more details. Smh. Always some weird shit in the sugar bowl.

I start to wonder if everyone on SA and Wyp is homeless or something.

I’m hard again from all the talking. Baby’s brown skin is enticing and sulty voice as she lays on my chest is getting me aroused again. But Amoladora isn’t interested. No second round for Daddy. She does want me to come back later though. Tells me we can sit on the porch and enjoy the 420. Her roommate will be working.

I get dressed and rush back to work. Almost five when I sit down behind my desk, just in time for everyone to walk past my office. Most thought I’d been there the whole time working with my door closed. Cool. As I put on the appearance of a long day of work, I get out my phone and get my connect up. No answer. I text baby the news but she still wants me to come back anyway. I close my eyes and thank whatever deity looks down on sugardaddies. I’m going to be taking my time tonight.

The family is out of town so I got the house to myself. I’ll be joining them in a few days. Going back to kick it with Amoladora is not a problem. No excuses to make up tonight. No lies. A few hours later, I’m omw back to Amoladora. I stop and get more wine and fruit. Back at her place, we sip wine and try and watch tv but we mostly talk.

Then she asks me the big one. “Would you mind helping me get an apartment down here?” The question catches me off guard. “Um yea. Sure.” Baby unloads about her situation. She wants an apartment in town and already has it picked out. She just needs help getting it. Finding a job has been close to impossible. “Honestly, I really don’t want to work at all,” she says. “I just need a daddy to take care of me,” she says.

I feel the S burning on my chest again. I have to control myself before I leap off the couch and into my Cap’n-Sav-a-hoe outfit.

I hear my cape flapping in the wind as I prepare to swoop down and save her. Ok I’m being silly.

But her request comes with strings. She wants me to get the apartment in my name. Uh…..

Suddenly I’m doubtful. I tell her I’m not comfy doing that. But she says she can’t get it in her name due to not having a job. I tell her how I can get her the documentation she needs, but she feels that’s fraudulent and doesn’t want to go that route. We go back and forth but baby is adamant that she wants the apt and wants it in my name. Amoladora tells me I’m less likely to run out on her if its in my name. It’s a story I’ve heard before. Babies want me to get a car or apartment in my name that way I’m obligated to pay for it. Not a bad approach actually. The only time I don’t want to do something like that is when I know the sugar isn’t going to last long.

But its never worked for me. Last time I signed a lease, baby girl ran out on the lease. Left me holding a fairly big rent payment. She was gone, apt was empty and I had 3 months left to pay. And that was the second time that happene dot me. The first time the girl left after a month and she damaged the floor. I’m still jaded about signing leases and stuff. So naturally, I wasn’t looking to even take the chance.

“Would you at least consider it?” she asks. Sure I say. With that, we start playing. We end up back in her room but she only lets me make out with her. WTF? Says she’s a little sore. I would have stayed home if I knew I wasn’t getting any nookie. I know. I was being selfish.  I get up to leave, but Amoladora doesn’t want me to go. She lays on me to prevent me from getting up. I like it. Feels good to be appreciated. “This is how it’ll be when we get my place.” Nicely done Amoladora. I’m warming up to the idea. We end up rolling around in the bed playing around before she falls asleep. I stay up another hour, Bart hard as a rock and nothing to do with it.

Fuck. I can’t win.

Staying the night is rare for me. Sugar babies usually don’t get down like that unless you’re off  on a trip or something. Baby lays on me the first part of the night  like I’m a teddy bear. But I wake up about 3am and freezing to death and hearing this grinding sound. I look down at my body and I have no cover. I look over at Amoladora and she has all the covers. WTF?  I’m so cold I’m starting to go numb. I keep hearing this gnawing, grinding sound. I manage to get part of the sheet from her stingy ass but it only mildly keeps me warm. I manage to doze off for a bit only to be awakened again by the sound. Now baby is back on me again, wrapped in the comforter, grinding her teeth together.

I can’t win I tell you. Smh. No nookie, freezing my ass off and this teeth grinder over here (Amoladora ) wants her own place. Only in the bowl.

I fall back asleep despite the cold and noise. I wake at 6 and I got morning wood. Really? Any other morning my old ass would be be as soft as tissue. But this morning I’m standing strong and nowhere to put it. I give. The sugar gods are frowning on me.

I wake Amoladora up and tell her goodbye and head back home to freshen up. I get to work but luckily for my tired ass things are slow. All the big boys are gone for a conference. Cool. I might close my door and catch a nap. Then my phone starts blowing up. Amoladora wants to know what I think about the apt. I see she’s well rested. We spend the rest of the day talking, mostly her trying to convince me to put the apt in my name and me saying no. Amoladora tells me she wants me to come back over that night. I have to fly out the next day to join the fam so I’m not sure. But she insist. She wants to get a hotel this time. Turns out her roommate came home and saw my shoes at the door and got uncomfortable. Said he couldn’t sleep with another man in the house. Go figure. I tell her we can use the house, which is usually a big no no. But the fam’s out of town so I’ll bypass the hotel. She also wants me to try and get the weed again. I hit up my connect and after work I swing by and pick up the cannabis.

I go by and pick her up. “Your car’s so loud,” she says. “It vibrates. Its kind of naughty.” I look over at her in disbelief and think to myself, I am so tearing this pussy up tonight.” We stop by the store for some cigarillo’s and we head back to my house.

I pop the garage and drive right in letting the garage down behind us, just in case the neighbors were watching. We head to the guest house and she cracks open the cigarillo and re-rolls it with the 420....

and then we head out to the patio with our drinks and stuff.

I pull out a Cohiba and light it. Hadn’t had one in awhile. We sip wine, laugh and talk as she blazes.

Damn I hope the neighbors aren’t in their backyards too. I put the cigar out and take a couple of hits with baby. Amoladora finished it tho, while sipping wine with me.

We’re both sweaty from being out in the summer heat so we go back inside and watch a little TV. She brings up the apt. again. I keep telling her I’m fine with paying for everything but she wants it in my name still. I tell her I’m strongly considering it, just to keep her from talking about it anymore. I’m ready to get to the rest of the night’s festivities. Before we can get started she’s got the munchies all of a sudden. We make a quick dash to the burger spot, get the combo and then back to the house.

After she eats half of everything (love how you sugarbabies hate to eat all your food around men. It’s the cutest shit ever. But I know your asses are hungry. ). We retire to the bedroom to have more fun. She excuses herself to the bathroom and a few minutes later she comes out wearing some sexy lingerie.

As we kiss, baby tells me she wants to spend the night again. And I remembered to take my Lamar Odum’s too? OMG I’m sooooo  going to miss my flight in the morn.

But, things weren’t as good as the night before. I go down and taste the kitty, but she stops me early and says, “Come fuck me……” I climb on top. No quickie’s tonight. I’m full of the herbals and I’m ready. Not sure how long I went, but baby grabbed me by the chin and asked me to hurry up and cum. Told me it was hurting. I decide to end things, dumping my unborn into the plastic latex. Afterwards, we lay in each other’s arms and talk more. She doesn’t bring up the apt. again. Instead we talk about all the things we’ll be doing together once she lives here permanently.

“We don’t have to use condoms daddy,” she tells me. Only in the bowl. “Once you get the apartment I’ll get on BC and everything. You’ll be the only guy I’m sleeping with.”

Then she hits me with more news.

“I have a son,” she says. I’m like WTF? Why the cloak and dagger. Why not tell me upfront. Not that it was a big deal or anything but I felt like we had a pretty good beginning so no need to lie. She tells me she didn’t want to scare me away. As a sugar daddy I’ve seen most everything so her having kids is no big deal. We kiss passionately and I try to get some more kitty but she’s not having it. We fall asleep at some point and she starts grinding her teeth again. It doesn’t keep me up this time and the next thing I know I’m staring angrily at the alarm clock going off.

We jump up, get dressed. “Can I keep the weed daddy?” she asks as we head to the garage. “I’ll keep it for us so you don’t have to worry about it.”

Heeeeeeeeell naw. She ain’t smoking up all my shit.I might need this in the coming weeks.

But I say nicely, “Oh no. i’ll give you some of it.” We head out before the neighbors are up leaving for work. I drop Amoladora off and then speed to the airport.

Over the next few days we keep texting here and there. Mostly staying in touch and talking about how much time we’re going to spend together when I get back. She wants me to hit up the apartments first thing when I get back. I must admit, by the time I board the plane to return to the states, I’m missing Amoladora.

I get back a couple days ahead of the family. Big board meeting on Monday so I had to be there in case the BoD had questions for me or my dept. For lunch, I go by Amoladora for some fun. She’s wearing a maxi dress, nothing underneath. We do little talking as I raise the dress up over her head to reveal her naked body underneath. I get a strong whiff of the body wash, signaling she’s all fresh for Daddy.  Once again I push her back gently on the bed and bury my face between her legs, thrashing that pink muff. This is a few rounds later so I know right where to concentrate on. Within moments she’s squeezing my head and ears…She tries to pull away but I’m unstoppable.  She starts shaking again and but she’s not running from me this time. She lets out along moan, signaling the bell had been wrung.

I get her up and make her turn around on her knees. Time for some doggie. I give her a nice slap here and there as I pound her from the back. Then I stop, grab her by the waist and pull her back and forth on me rapidly and repeatedly. “Daddy....” The ass looks like it has waves rippling through it as she she slams into me. I wish i could have took a pic of it too.

Yea I know.

Afterwards, we freshen up and swing by the apt. complex. Nice place. Two story condo’s. Nice neighborhood in uptown. They’ve completely renovated the apts. Wouldn't mind living there myself if I were single. We look at a few that are big enough for her and the youngin then go back to the office to fill out the paperwork and then we’re gone. She’s hungry so we stop by one of my fav Chinese places. The tone is changing rapidly. She’s nice now. More attentive. Even takes back my order because they messed it up. We talk more about the apt. She tells me about her son and how she came to be in the situation she’s in. Then she surprises me again, “Is it ok if I work daddy?”

“What do you mean?” I ask. She tells me with me paying her rent and giving her an allowance plush child support from baby daddy she doesn’t really need to work. But at the same time, she’s new to town so she can’t fathom what she’s going to do with her time. So she’s thinking about getting a job at a bar or restaurant. Cool with me. I take her home and just stop long enough for her to get out. “You don’t’ want to come in daddy?” she says, rubbing my arm.

Nah. I got to get back to work. I kiss her by and head back to work. I needed to get home before the fam came home and make sure nothing incriminating was left behind. I give the guest house a once over and then I have cleaning lady tidy up. That night, I meet with the Oracle. Needed to discuss the apt. thing. The whole idea of it in my name has me nervous. I need advice. The Oracle tells me it’s a bad idea. If I had known the girl more than 7 days, she’d say yes. But its too early. She reminds me of the last time I did this and how I was left paying on an apt for months while baby up and left. She also reminds me of the risk I’m taking. Anything could happen. Baby girl could run out on the lease and damage the place and I’d be responsible. Something could happen to her and her son and I’d be involved. On and on.

Hadn’t thought about all that.  A few hours later I text Amoladora and tell her I’m fine what paying for everything, but I just can’t put the apt in my name. Too risky and . For the next 24 hours we text back and forth on the subject. But I just can’t do it.

Then it happens. Just like many of the girls before her,  the text start trailing off. Generally its not apparent, but I notice immediately. I try to keep it going but Amoladora is fading fast from my grip. Damn. I thought we had a good thing too.

By now I’m texting I’m talking regularly with Casino and Firecracker. I’m also getting ready to meet Firecracker for the first time. As the days go on, Amoladora becomes more and more silent. Before text would be answered right away, but now hours go by. Soon, no response at all.

Amoladora’s exit is bitter sweet as it were. The pics of Firecracker and Casino got me quite excited. Two bad ass black chicks. Hadn’t really been involved with any since Nebraska. And Casino’s body is just quite simply – extraordinary. I hate it that things didn’t work out with her. I’ll tell you all about it later....

A week after things go cold, I’ve gone out with Firecracker. Casino’s stopped texting. But I still send Amoladora a text to see if she’s gone for good. No response. I do actually like her and other than the name on the lease I was going to make her quite comfortable. Then to add to my woes a week after that Firecracker goes MIA. She stops texting too. Sigh. I am not winning.

Now we’re in July and I’m SBS (sugababy single). Its looking like its going to be dry spell for the summer. Perhaps its time to get out the sugar game? Put up my Capn’ Sav’em outfit and cape?

By the time I’m ready to call it quits, Casino text me. She’ll be back in town the next day and wants too meet when she gets back….To be continued