#BUT there’d be no clarity on whether it was a date or not. she’d just ask me to go somewhere in a really homoerotic way and i’d be like in

[dreamertrilogys]

i need it to be next semester so bad because every day i spend the next 3 hours after english class recovering from the psychological damage i experienced (being flirted with & flirting BACK). except the thing is i actually have a class with her next semester too and not only that but my other friend who i’m in love with is also in that class. explodes & dies i suppose

#it’s genuinely so bad. i think i might #nvm i’m not typing that out. *** *** ****** * *********** ** ** ****** ** ********* ** *** *** **** #anyway #the worst part is it started as a JOKE because of the goddamn MEMOIR except when you jokingly flirt with someone for 2 months straight at #some point it becomes not a joke. and i think she might actually genuinely be into me which is INSANE (and like. as someone with severe #issues & problems disorder i would not make that claim lightly trust me) and like. idk what to do with it #.txt #fake ex gf #crushposting #<- the way these tags are about two different people. insane life i’m living rn #see at first it was like oh she’d date me just for fun which is fine bc i’d ALSO do that maybe yknow. but she might actually like me. and i #might possibly like HER. BUT LIKE. i really am truly in love with my other friend. like if he asked me out (which would not happen) i’d say #yes immediately. but if dani (fake ex gf/girl from english class) asked me out. WELL THAT’S HAPPENED BEFORE TECHNICALLY. well i’d uhhh. #flirt back and then we’d make plans to skip class to go out somewhere together next week while her leg was purposefully pressed against mine #ah fuck #BUT there’d be no clarity on whether it was a date or not. she’d just ask me to go somewhere in a really homoerotic way and i’d be like in #what way do you mean that and she’d be like oh? what way do you want want me to mean it and i’d shrug and we’d go on back and forth like #that for a bit without coming to a conclusion. and then we’d just go on with our lives and such #but like the thing is. if it came down to my friend/crush vs her. i’d choose my friend #AND IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE #like not directly but once i essentially had the choice of leaving school 5 mins early and walking home w/ her #OR leaving school 5 mins late and walking home with him. and i chose to walk home with him like it wasn’t even a contest #gf

[musetotheworld]

Supercat- a small, round stone

It takes longer than Kara had expected for Alex to track her down. Almost two hours before she hears the crunch of familiar boots on the rocks behind her. Usually she manages within an hour.

Then again Kara supposes she might be out of practice. It’s been over a year since Kara felt the need to run away to some deserted mountain lake and avoid all human and alien contact until she calmed down. She’s been happy, settled, on the cusp of actually having everything she wants from life. But she hadn’t been able to get there.

“She’s worried about you.”

Kara winces at the words, the buried accusation she can hear no matter how Alex tries to push it down in favor of being the supportive sister. Because that’s what they do. They always support each other no matter what the situation. Doesn’t mean she can’t tell Alex also thinks she’s in the wrong this time.

“I just needed a minute. Maybe a few hours.” She’s done this before, after all. Run away from her problems for a little bit in favor of mindlessly skipping stones across a mountain lake. It’s the perfect distraction, both mindless and requiring intense focus so she doesn’t accidentally send a stone through the mountain across from her. She can think and not think at the same time.

“You haven’t been out here since before you started dating Cat, and she knows it. I do too, and we all know you know it. So talk to me, Kara. Don’t withdraw.” Alex never used to push like this, but she’s right. Things have changed in the past year. This isn’t what she does anymore.

But it hurts too much to do anything else, and even the last two hours of not thinking haven’t begun to dull the pain. Kara isn’t sure what will happen if she actually tries to talk.

“Okay, if you aren’t going to talk then I am,” Alex continues, not willing to let Kara off that easily. “You can tell me if I get anything wrong, but I’m guessing you were at the mall, maybe with Lucy because she’s great at getting you into trouble if given half a chance. And you probably passed a jewelry store, and there in the cabinet was the perfect ring. And when you stopped to look at it, Lucy started pushing, and you ended up walking out of the mall with an engagement ring that made you forget everything Cat has ever said on the matter. Am I close?”

“Bracelet,” Kara manages to say, relieved when her voice doesn’t break. “It was a bracelet, Alex. Looked just like my mother’s did. Because I do remember what Cat said, I promise I do. But bonding and marriage, they’re different. You know they are.”

“I do, but have you ever discussed that with Cat?” Alex has gentled after Kara explained, but there’s still a level of censure to her voice that Kara knows she deserves. “You get rambly when you’re excited, so did you explain yourself or did you get out a few sentences that didn’t actually explain anything before Cat reminded you she doesn’t want to remarry after four failed marriages and sent you flying out of the apartment still in your Kara Danvers clothing?”

Honestly, Kara doesn’t really remember what happened. She remembers nerves, so many nerves. There’d been a plan, she remembers that much. A detailed explanation of how a Kryptonian bonding differed from an Earth wedding, complete with the reasons Kara wanted the bonding and what it would mean to her.

But all she remembers is the look of shock and then pain on Cat’s face as she’d shook her head. She hadn’t stuck around past that, needing space and air before she crumbled in on herself. So Alex’s interpretation is probably the right guess. Kara doesn’t have to remember to piece the evidence together as easily as Alex had.

“Does it actually matter?” Kara asks as she tosses another stone into the lake, wincing as she misjudges her strength and it flies halfway across before touching water, skipping furiously until it hits the thankfully empty shoreline and stops. “I got excited and didn’t think things through, and Cat said no. End of story.” She doesn’t want to think about it meaning end of relationship, but she isn’t sure.

Kryptonians bond to one person for life, and the relationship she has with Cat is everything a bonding should be save the actual ceremonial aspects. And Kara, Rao help her, she wants it to be official. Wants some assurance that this, of all things in her life, this isn’t going anywhere any time soon. There’s been too much change in her life and she wants something stable for once.

They’ve spoken of long term, of years down the road. Planned out a future of family outings and holidays, even discussed having or adopting more kids. Kara knows that Cat loves her, that this isn’t some fling or midlife crisis whether they make things official or not. But she can’t help wanting that something more.

“Look, you know I try to give you guys space for your relationship, but you’re being an idiot,” Alex says bluntly. “First you spring something on her without talking it through first when you know how she feels both about marriage and surprises, then you run off for two hours without talking to her. I love you, Kara, I do. And you know that I’m on your side no matter what. But this time that means telling you you’re wrong and sending you back to Cat’s side to actually talk about things.”

Kara sighs, wanting to argue. If Alex had found her an hour ago, she probably would dig her heels in a little and refuse to be moved. But it’s been two hours of trying and failing to avoid the pain and she’s tired. If Cat wants to talk to her, had gone so far as to send Alex out to find her, then Kara isn’t going to argue.

“Thank you,” she says, turning from the lake to pull Alex in for a hug. “You always know when to kick my ass into gear, don’t you?”

“It’s what big sisters are for. Now get out of here before Cat hunts us both down.” Alex doesn’t wait around for Kara to take off, already trusting she’d gotten through to the hero. And as Kara watches her take a few steps, she’s thankful once again that Kal-El found her a family like the Danvers when she landed. It might have hurt at the time, but now she wouldn’t give up having Alex as her sister for anything.

It only takes a few minutes for her to land on the balcony of Cat’s penthouse and move inside, careful to move quickly enough no one could see her and make the connection between Cat and Supergirl. She isn’t sure what to expect, whether Cat will be angry or relieved now that she’s returned, but she doesn’t hesitate to seek her lover out. Either way, she needs to fix this.

“Kara.”

It’s a whisper from the end of the hall, soft enough Kara almost misses it. Welcoming and relieved, it sends Kara speeding to cross the distance between them in the blink of an eye. And once she’s in front of Cat she’s pulled into a hug tight enough that Kara understands how much she’d risked losing before Cat can say a single word.

“Next time you pull a stunt like this you’re sleeping on the couch for a week,” Cat says when she finally pulls back from the embrace. Her eyes are ever so slightly red rimmed, and Kara’s heart hurts a little when she realizes she’d made her lover cry.

“I’m sorry for running off,” she starts, leaning her head down onto Cat’s shoulder. “And I’m sorry for springing the bracelet on you in the first place. Alex already told me I’m an idiot.”

“I always did say your sister was the smarter Danvers,” Cat teases, poking Kara in the side. “But I think I disagree with her on this one. You’re not an idiot. You just make rash choices with an unfortunate regularity.”

“Like an idiot,” Kara agrees.

“No, like a young woman in love.” Cat sounds wistful, and Kara tightens her hold carefully. She doesn’t want Cat to feel squeezed or overwhelmed, but she wants there to be no question Kara is there for her. “Why don’t we go sit down and talk it through?”

Kara nods and lets Cat go just long enough for them to settle in on the study couch, where she immediately curls into Cat’s side. She loves sitting like this, feeling Cat’s arms around her, being the protected one for once. And if Cat is willing to hold her this way even after the events from earlier, she can’t have messed up too badly.

“Kara, you know how I feel about marriage-”

“I do, and I know I was wrong to spring the bracelet on you and think you’d feel any differently about a bonding from a culture you’re not even part of,” Kara says quickly, risking the interruption to apologize and make sure Cat knows she understands why her actions had been a mistake in the first place.

“Let me talk,” Cat admonishes her gently, but the kiss to her temple tells Kara she’s not in trouble for that one. “You know how I feel about marriage. And your three sentences of rambling explanation you managed to get out definitely sounded like a marriage more than anything else. But when you flew out of here I called Alex to track you down and she explained. With far more clarity than you managed, I might add.”

Kara blushes at the teasing, knowing it’s true. She’s gotten better at controlling the impact of her emotions on her words while writing, but she hasn’t quite managed the same when she’s speaking. And asking Cat about a bonding ceremony was definitely up there when it came to the sheer amount of emotions involved. She’s lucky she’d been coherent at all.

“It’s not the same as a marriage, is it?” Cat asks quietly once Kara’s flush has settled, the teasing leaving her tone. “It’s not some promise that’s easily made and easily broken, or any of my other many issues with human marriages.”

Kara shakes her head, smiling a little as she considers. “No, it’s not the same. A bonding is, it’s everything, Cat. On Krypton it allowed partners to be like one. We had our marriages just like Earth. But a bonding, it was sometime more. Our marriages were for status or comradeship, the bondings were for love.”

“Tell me more about the differences,” Cat asks, settling more comfortably into the couch. And Kara knows Alex probably explained, but this is Cat’s way of giving her a chance to correct her earlier mistakes and Kara loves her all the more for it.

“My parents were married,” she starts, following up by explaining the differences between their relationship and the one between Kal-El’s parents. And then the difference between a Kryptonian/human wedding and bonding.

“Kal-El can feel when Lois is in danger no matter where he is in the galaxy,” she explains, remembering back to all the times he’d swooped in to save her life right when she’d needed him. The one time she’d seen the change on his face when he realized Lois was in trouble was enough she could never forget. “And he can’t hurt her, the bond won’t let him. There’s no way his control could slip if he isn’t paying attention.”

When she’s done speaking, when she’s told Cat everything she knows about the ceremony and its effects on humans and Kryptonians alike, Kara falls silent. There’s nothing more to be said, not when Cat knows what she wants. The question has been asked once before and Kara would rather jump off the balcony with Kryptonite around her neck than risk Cat feeling pressured in any way. They both have the relevant information now, so the next move is up to Cat.

If she still says no, then Kara will deal with that. She’d make a mistake by running away earlier. It’s not a mistake she intends to repeat.

They sit in silence for long minutes, each content to curl into the other and think things through without any need to rush. Kara doesn’t know exactly what Cat is thinking, but it doesn’t matter. The arms around her are warm and constant, with no sign of pushing her away no matter the decision. Should Cat find Kryptonian bondings too similar to Earth marriages, Kara knows that won’t be the end of their relationship. And sure, she might be disappointed, but she’ll get over it. Having Cat in her life is worth the compromise.

“I don’t think I’d want to go public,” Cat says eventually. “The press would call it a marriage and drag us right into the same mess I swore I’d avoid. But if it were just our family, I could handle that.”

Kara’s floating as the words register, her joy sending her into the air without conscious thought as she twists in Cat’s hold to kiss her. “I don’t need anyone but us to know, if you don’t want to tell. I mean, Carter should know, and Alex will definitely guess. But beyond them, it isn’t important to me.”

There are others she’d like to tell, of course. Her friends and extended family, Eliza and J’onn. Her family back on Argo that she hopes will be happy for her. But again, compromise. She’ll let Cat set the boundaries when this is something so clearly closer to Kara’s comfort zone than hers.

“We can make a list later,” Cat says, chuckling as she pulls Kara back down to the couch. “But first, maybe you could actually ask me the question you stumbled over earlier?”

“I can do that,” Kara says, suddenly determined. With a quick burst of speed she’s located the bracelet she’d left behind earlier and zoomed back to kneel in front of where Cat is sitting. It’s not quite the traditional Kryptonian pose, but Cat wouldn’t understand the visual symbolism there. Not the way she would like this, with Kara down on one knee.

She does use the traditional Kryptonian wording, wanting to both have the connection back to her homeworld and set this apart from a marriage proposal.

“Catherine Grant, I stand before Rao with open mind and heart, certain of my love and devotion. Will you join me before Rao and our families, standing as one in the House of El?”

::I will so join::

The words are rough, heavily accented, but they’re spoken in the Kryptonian Kara so rarely hears these days. The tears that spring to her eyes at the agreement are as much for the words as for the language they’re spoken in.

She’ll have to thank Alex for teaching Cat the traditional response the next time she sees her sister, and for giving her the courage to come back and correct her mistake. Without Alex’s help they probably would have figured things out, but who knows how much of a mess Kara would’ve made in the meantime?

“I love you, Cat,” Kara whispers as she places the bracelet reverently around her fiance’s wrist. “From now until Rao shines no more.”

#Supergirl #supergirl fic #supercat #supercat fic #prompt fill #tumblr is being a pain with the read more so sorry if this is just on your dash in its entirety