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How do I keep getting asked out by guys? What the fuck have I done to make them A, like me, B, think I'm straight?
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this evening my 9th grader brother proved john mulaney right. i walked out, wearing a red turtleneck (that i might or might not have bought a long time ago because of my obssesion with gravity falls) and this fourteen year old bastard just raises his eyes from his minecraft video and just says “lol okay mr ford pines.” and then he continued watching his minecraft video :/ i have just been bullied.. by a 9th grader. for being mentally eel

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Ford: I have gotten to a point- Another fun… fun uh, tidbit about my wardrobe is that, uh, my family, Shermie’s kids, uh, have made trips to Tybee Island in Georgia for a long time. Uh, they- that has been their vacation spot of choice for the past five years or so.

Ford: And every time they went, they would bring me back a, uh *laughs*, a Tybee Island t-shirt that they purchased. And since I’ve been going with them, I have continued the tradition by buying Tybee Island t-shirts. Uh, so I started getting them ironically? I laugh because Shermie’s granddaughter Mabel picked them out and her idea of fashion is generally as much rainbows and sparkles as can physically fit on a piece of clothing. So they maybe, uh, weren’t the most fashion-foward.

Ford: And then all of a sudden, it turned out that half of the clothes that I own say Tybee Island on them somewhere along with some other rejoinder. Like, uh, “It’s 5 o'clock somewhere-”

Stan: This is-

Ford: “-in Tybee Island!”

Stan: This is breaking- breaking Southern California news, Jesse Thorn has burst into flames somewhere and nobody knows why. You’ve been listening to “Take This Off” starring the Pines twins.

Ford: Beach t-shirts relax me now, I don’t know what it is!

Stan: We’re killing fashion one shirt at a time. Take that!

Ford: I w- So sue me, it’s October in Oregon, I’d like to live on island time for a day!

Stan: You-

Ford: Cut me some slack.

Stan: I have Spotify open right now on my computer. Do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Because I got your history right here on the sidebar~

Stan: Take It Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet!

Stan: Treat Her Like A Lady by Jimmy Buffet! Mañana by Jimmy Buffet! When Salome PLAYS THE DRUM by jaMES BUFFET. HAVANA DAYDREAMING BY JIMMY BUFFET.

Stan: What the FUCK happened to you?!

Ford: I had a case of the mondays!


Fiddleford: *laughs*

Ford: I had a case of the mondays! I had those ol’ monday blues… that I was just trying to chase away!

Fiddleford: I just want to remind everyone that Stanford is the one who was somehow qualified to build an interdimensional portal and help save the world and also somehow feels qualified to tell other people how to live their lives.

Stan: How tO DO FUCK-ALL!

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Alex Hirsch learn how not to draw minstrel lips challenge

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Wait, are you flirting with me?
I've been for the whole summer, but thanks for noticing.
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Okay how do I phrase this.

At the moment, he is not in TOO much fear, though he IS being attacked by angry gnomes who want to kill him.

And if I’m saying he’s not in too much fear when he’s being attacked by angry gnomes who want to kill him, you should be very scared for his future

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Concept of Autism pride GF! Aka Autistic GF

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I want a gf ): can someone slide in my dm sksksksk

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Lmao at the idea that you can “steal someone’s partner”. No, babygirl/boy/bby. That isn’t how it works.

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i’ve spent around 3 hours recreating myself and the girl i dreamed about last night while i still have the dream ✨fresh✨ in my memory. all i can say is:

this could have been us ;^; 

all of these images were made using a website called picrew- i’ve captioned each image with the link to its individual generator. happy creating fictional girlfriends, my gays :)

♬♩♪♩i saw a girl in my dreams, but, i don’t remember her name♩♪♩♬

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i wanna own a small house with this girl and sit in our bathtub while she does her hair and talks to me about things she loves

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I’m Rich

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