#Black Hat human form is Tom Hiddleston

[aradias-crypt]

Black Hat with a Subordinate S/O

You meet during an attack, the perfect interview

It was supposed to be a simple outing. You were out on a little excursion before getting ready to go to work the next day. Now, in a place like Avidité Central where mostly corrupt merchants run the system, you are always watching out for crime. Villains are expected in this county, drug lords work with the top merchants and shady arms dealers are often having meetings in your local cafes. An attack like this was bound to happen with arguments over trade routes at an all time high. But the mastermind behind the sudden turf war was not who you expected, seeing as you live miles from the coast of Hat Island.

You cover your head as you hide behind a stone bench, the sounds of screams filling the air as debris rains down. Yet another attack in only two weeks of semi peace. The Indigos and Silks had been bumping heads for months now, this fight was expected- but in the PARK?! SERIOUSLY?!

An iron arm flies over your head after a blast shakes the ground beneath you, turning back into flesh as it rolls away.

You begin to regret your investment in your apartment.

“Le Mavroir! Le Mavroir!” A soldier yells, his tone full of panic.

The fighting stops.

To your right, you hear the soft tapping of a cane on the cobblestones.

Memories of history lessons flood your thoughts, a timeline of past heroes and villains. Legends and the forgotten.

Le Mavroir.

The Black.

“Well, well, well. I expected a bloodbath, but this, this is absolutely sublime.” His guttural voice echoes from every direction, loud and clear, and demanding attention.

“Andreas Indigo,” the tapping of his cane stops on the other side of the bench. You see the bottom of his trench coat as he sits down. “This fight doesn’t seem to be leaning in your favor.”

A man seethes, “Your so-called advice began this you-“ He stops abruptly when he begins to choke.

Black Hat clicks his tongue, “Don’t test me boy.”

You slowly move away from the bench, silently sliding away towards the stairs to the subway.

The poke of a blade in the middle of your back stops you from moving any further.

Black Hat turns his head, his eye glowing from under the shadow of the brim of his hat. He purrs, “Where do you think you’re going?”

Bravery gets you everywhere and out of there

You clench your fists to try stopping them from shaking.

“I just- I just w-wa...” You suck in a breath, feeling the blade dig into your skin. You push down your fear and bow your head, “Aplires, mos Mavroir.. I wish to leave..if you would allow it.”

The villains in front of him snicker, knowing his bloodlust ran deeper than theirs. There is no escaping him alive.

Slowly but surely the blade stops and sinks back into the ground. He chuckles.

“Trevikla. Very well, little mouse.”

They fall silent. Your eyes widen in awe.

“Run swiftly, before I decide to use you to whet my appetite~.” He grins fiendishly and shoos you away.

He turns around, continuing where he left off.

“Now. Where were we?”

Leaving no time for him to reconsider his decision, you rush underground and cover your ears once more as the screams begin again.

You meet again under slightly better circumstances

You work at a bakery where the owner is less than chivalrous. You pretty much handle the whole thing: prepping, cleaning, baking, paperwork and paying bills. Often waking up at 4 in the morning to prepare for the day. Really the man is there to make sure you don’t touch the money and to occasionally help with the ovens. It sucked, but you liked the patrons.

However, upon arriving to the store that morning, you can tell something is off.

Unlocking the backdoor to the bakery, you flick on the lights and grab your apron from its hook.

“You don’t look like an Avarician.”

You shriek, turning around and whipping out your gun from your jacket pocket. A hand wraps around the barrel.

Black Hat towers over you, his coat covered in blood splatter.

“You don’t act like one either.”

“How do you know if I am or not?”

“A true Avarician would have shot already.”

You look at his hand, “If I were to shoot the Mavroir, the Blackwells would kill me.” You say, referring to the new rulers of the east and west side, after the Indigos and Silks were all slaughtered by the being before you.

“Aufils voudra de tolfier prokaló moi.” He says confidently. His voice is thickly accented, but you still understood the message. No one would go against his wishes.

You frown, “They may not defy you but I am an adeiázo. An empty shell. I have no use to them.” Or to you, you think to yourself.

“Luckily for you, a new position has opened up in my organization~.” He yanks the gun out of your grasp and turns on his heel, heading further into the room. He beckons you over his shoulder.

You reluctantly follow.

On the bright side, he wasn’t here to kill you.

The body of your now ex-boss catches your attention.

His chest was cracked open, its contents oddly missing..

You step around him,”Did you do that..?”

“Unlike you little mouse, he had the guts to to steal from me. But rest assured, I took my time ripping those guts right out.” Fluorescent green drool drips down the side of his mouth.

“O-oh..”

“I suggest you get used to sights such as these.”

Soooo... heard of hat flavored bread?

Black Hat never really visited Avidité Central often, though many of his top clients used it as a clandestine transaction area. Originally he had planned to buy an island to set aside for auctions and whatnot, but now that he has taken control of Avidité’s capital he can arrange it to his liking. It was already structured decently, with a port not far off from the city. And now he had you to manage the coverup.

To civilians, you would be a regular baker: catering to events and keeping up a cafe for everyday life.

To villains, you would be their drop off spot and cover.

And a place to buy Black Hat approved goods.

“The cargo will be shipped at night and will arrive at dawn but I can hold it for you for up to five days.” You take notes as you lean on the counter, talking casually to the villain in front of you. It has only been a few weeks since you’ve been doing this “job”, but after meeting your first few villains, you weren’t as scared anymore.

They nod and hand you a roll of cash. “I will be back to pick it up on Thursday.”

You put the money into your pocket. Normally this would be a big no no, but to reveal where a safe was to a villain was even a bigger no. ”Alright. Would you like to buy anything else before you leave?”

The villain looks at the menu on the counter, lifting a brow at the new item.

“Black bread?”

“Hat flavored.” You shiver, “Its.. okay.”

They chuckle, “I think I will pass for now.”

- -

“The bread is having some mixed reviews.” You roll your neck.

Black Hat counts the stack of bills next to him, quietly muttering to himself.

This has been your nights for a few days now.

A car with flaming exhaust pipes and rides up the the bakery with Black Hat inside. He enters the building and counts his profits, leaving you a portion behind to handle the needs of the shop. Once he gets what he needs he leaves.

“It will catch on,” he stuffs the bills into a suitcase, “If not, start over.”

“Yes, Mavroir.” You respond dutifully before flinching at the abrupt sound of his chair scraping against the floor as he stands up.

He smirks.

“Very funny.” You frown.

“Hilarious.” He says. Handing you a slightly thicker stack of money, Black Hat retrieves his keys before heading to the door. “Don’t disappoint me little mouse.”

You wave as he leaves.

Oddly, you didn't mind his presence like you did before.

Hope you don’t mind constant non-business visits cause you’re getting them anyway

Don’t feel special or anything, he’s only checking in on you to make sure you don’t try stashing away some of his well earned money- and that you haven’t been killed by a villain raging over fees.

“Sir?”

“What is it human.”

“Would you like something to drink while you’re here?”

“I have no need for drink.”

“Oh.. Well I just thought you might want to sample a few packets of blood Ms. Mawrasite brought.”

“...”

“...”

“Bring them over.”

Be prepared to deal with his vanity

Black Hat hates beauty, but takes pleasure in showing off his human forms. Usually they’re pretty normal so he can blend in with crowds, but there’s one he especially enjoys showing off~.

The mornings are always the busiest time for you when it comes to regular people. You figure it’s because of the need for caffeine and whatnot, but in the evenings Black Hat arrives it’s almost completely packed.

Well.. you know exactly why in this case.

“Sir, I think that disguise of yours draws more attention than a disguise is supposed to.” You whisper to him.

Black Hat twirls his cane in his hand as he scans the room. His blue eyes shine with wicked amusement.

When he drove up to the front of the cafe today, you weren’t sure if it was really him. He was in a suit like usual, but his skin was a normal tone unlike its normal dark grey. His voice was smoother but fortunately still had his normal British accent.

“Indeed it does. But, my pet, in cases like these, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” He says as he tips his hat to a woman passing by.

You tilt your head, “Its just ..weird.. seeing you look so human.”

He smirks. His teeth are white and blunt though his incisors remain rather sharp. It’s charming.

And unnerving.

“Do you not enjoy my disguise?”

“You’re intentionality handsome, which makes me a bit uncomfortable.”

Slicking back his jet black hair, Black Hat croons, “Would you rather I change into a more beastly form~?”

You wave him off, “Fáse ó que tu thevu.” Do what you please.

“I will.”

For the rest of the day, he keeps himself busy sending his shadow around to break glasses and trip the patrons ogling at his new form. Though he is occasionally swarmed by groups of women, he does not fail to notice your amused smile at his misfortune.

He’ll remember that, he thinks grumpily.

Work perk

You don’t mind his constant visits at all (besides when he breaks plates and cups). For one, he doesn’t really threaten you. Two, because villains know you work for him you can live without fear. Walking at night has become so much easier!

Mostly anyway.. but rest assured, he takes care of it when you’re not around.

Black Hat slinks down the wall of an alleyway and follows behind a drunken man. His putrid stench pollutes the air around them as he stumbles into walls and laughs under his breath.

The human had been loitering around the shop for quite some time, often leaving empty bottles of alcohol at the entrance. Night “clients” would normally enter from the back, so the man would be of no concern to them. Black Hat did not worry about this thing interfering with his business. Any villain worth their salt would be able to get rid of this human trash.

But his worker was awfully human.

They did not complain about the man, though he was known to scare away patrons of the day cafe. In fact, he only learned of this man when he saw a developing bruise on the arm of his little human.

It was a hand print that encircled their upper arm, and no matter how much they brushed it aside, he knew the human could not have done it to themselves.

Therefore..

Black Hat rolls his neck, his skin shifting into scales as his body contorts. Eyes litter his body and tusks grow between crowded rows of sharp teeth as he walks to the man on four clawed legs.

He would have fun with this one.

He’s surprisingly pretty goofy and a bit childish

It’s not long before you realize how silly he is. He reacts over the smallest of things and if he wasn’t so powerful you’re sure he would’ve died a hundred times over from the shit he pulls.

“Sir!”

“What?!” Black Hat hisses and lifts his hat covering his face. He was relaxing damn it!

You hold up an empty canister for him to see, your eyes full of fear.

“Someone stole the fluoroantimonic acid from the storage area.”

“Oh.” He chuckles and covers his face again, “No need to worry little mouse.”

“Why shouldn’t I be worrying about a superacid?!”

“I drank it.” He says simply.

You slowly lower the canister, “But.. why?”

“Why not?”

You begin to hide your cleaning products from him after that.

- - -

“Bloody hell, human!” Black Hat screeches and stomps his foot on the plush carpet in the foyer of his house.

You come running over with your hands and apron covered in flour. Eyes wild, you scan the room, holding a whisk over your head, “What is it sir!”

He points to the cake on the cart you had just wheeled in from the kitchens.

“What is that?!”

You look to it.

The aggressor is the candied dahlia petals you used for decoration.

“..sir..?”

“How dare you use such bright colors! And they look fresh!” He snarls in disgust.

You deadpan, “I’m going back to the kitchen sir.”

“Get rid of those wretched things first!”

With a sigh, you wheel the cart back into the hall.

He could be such a baby sometimes.

He supposes he’ll let you stick around

After the first year of working for him, Black Hat realizes you’ve managed to become one of his permanent workers. You did what you were told and did satisfactory work, you didn’t complain and you were rather decent company when he required it. You somehow weaseled your way to a spot of importance. And if he was being honest with himself, he enjoyed your existence a bit more than he should. Still, he wouldn’t tell you straight out about any affections he may have developed for you, but he wouldn’t be that subtle about his intentions.

Finally after a long day of work, you close the back door of the shop and lock up for the night.

Despite the rapid changes to your routine in the past year, you can’t help but feel content.Your job was never boring, and you enjoyed hearing the stories of adventures and battles from the villains that come by. 

It felt good to be spoken to like you mattered.

The honking of a car rips you from your thoughts.

Black Hat barks from his seat, “I haven’t got all night!” 

You roll your eyes and join him in the car, sliding into the passenger seat and buckling yourself in.

“You don’t even sleep.”

He starts up the engine, “Why would I sleep when there’s billions of humans waiting to be tormented?”

- -

Arriving at your home in better shape than the dozens of poles and stop signs on the way there, you look back at Black Hat. He looks at you expectantly.

“You know.” You start. “I’ve been working with you for quite some time and you haven’t tormented me yet.”

Black Hat straightens from leaning on the car. “That is because I have something else planned for you.”

“And what would that be?”

Caressing your face, Black Hat whispers in your ear, “I’m going to make you feel one of the seven deadly sins.” He moves away and releases you, leaving you dumbstruck as he enters his car and laughs.

“I’ll let you figure out which one it is~.”

#black hat x reader #blackhat x reader #black hat #Villainous #villainos #villainous x reader #black hat headcanons #Partially based off of things Alan has said from the streams #hat flavored bread makes me doubt my own existence #i just have one question #who would buy that?????? #Black Hat human form is Tom Hiddleston #not me #Alan said it first #im just the dumbass who fully supports that motion

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

More than 900 notes on the “Lila gets Exposed” ficlet? I love you guys.

And writting Lila liying stupidly and being caught stupidly is fun. so yeah, I might make this a series on different characters catching Lila lying. At least I have some idea on how Alya, Chloe, Nino, Rose and maybe Juleka might catch her. 

These are meant to be unrelated and one shots, but I will try to kept characters other than Marinette and Lila out of the fic that aren’t their so they can still form a coherent narrative if the reader want to feel like Lila was caught by everyone.

———————-

Lila gets Exposed As The Lying Liar Who Only Lies

Marc and Nathaniel.

“Did you want to see me?”

Marinette got inside the classroom of the art club, where Marc and Nathaniel were waiting for her.

“Hiya Mari!” greeted overenthusiastically Marc, guiding her to a seat near a table where Nathaniel and he had been working. They had something covered in cloth, which Marinette found a bit suspicious, but was used to how theatrically dramatically extra those two could get.

“What’s this?”

“Well, remember our comic?”

“Which one? Where Super Nathaniel saves me from Stormy Weather and Lady Wifi and then we ki…”

“NOT THAT ONE!” reacted Nathaniel not so quickly, blushing so much his skin got the same color of his hair. “Ahem. The one where Might Illustrator and Reverser teamed up with Ladybug and Chat Noir for…”

“The double date one or the one where they fight Queen Wasp?”

“… Queen Wasp.” Marc turned to Nathaniel. “You told her about the double date one?” Nathaniel shook his head, both looked at Marinette confused, but she just smiled innocently and sweetly.

“Ha! You guys are so transparent. I was just guessing”

Marc made a face “meanie” he added a raspberry for emphasis. Nathaniel just kept his red hue.

“ANYWAY. The comic with us as heroes being heroes alongside the heroes of Paris” said Nathaniel very quickly.  Marinette giggled at how easy was to push Nathaniel’s buttons.

“And you’re our Everyday Ladybug, so we decided it was only fair that you would join the team!”

“We actually wanted to say you’re the real Ladybug, but realized that would be a bit problematic… and Alya would freak out big time”

Marinette had never panicked and been relieved so quickly in her life.

“Yeah, right, clumsy old Marinette as Ladybug, who would believe a loser like me was a superhero?”

Nathaniel and Marc looked at each other.

“Marinette, sweetie…” Marc said, holding Marinette’s hand “We love you with all our hearts, brains and other internal organs, but if you dare to call yourself bad names ever again, I will be legally and morally obligated to slap you silly until you learn to appreciate the wonderful human being that you are.”

“Duly noted”

“SO! Since you have never been akumatized –kudos for that, by the way, you rock – we didn’t had anything to base your herosona with… so we started thinking, and your main forte is designing, but bringing stuff that you draw to life is sort of Mighty Illustrator gimmick…”

“It’s not a gimmick!”

“Right right… so, Nathaniel thought about the hat you designed and we basically took a peek at your sketchbook, and we decided that fashion was going to be your thing!”

They grabbed the cloth and pulled it at the same time, uncovering a series of illustrations of Marinette in several hero suits. Some very elaborate some more simple. The main one seemed to be a play on her normal clothes, with a dark pink bodysuit with white details, including a belt, a dark grey jacket, and a brooch that resembled the ladybug earrings, just in the same shade of dark pink as the body suit.

“We based her a bit on Ladybug. With the brooch she can switch between suits, and the brooch changes colors to match which suit she is using. Her standard outfit is the pink one, which we based on your clothes, and it gives her agility and strength. The other suits are more specialized, like the blue one allowing her to breathe underwater and swim more efficiently.  We’re thinking a rainbow theme, with 7 suits plus the pink one. We might squeeze a black and white one too, although that is Reverser gimmick.” Nathaniel looked at Marc with a sly smile. Marc rolled his eyes.

“Touche. Anyway, we call her Fashionette, unless you want to be called something else”

Marinette couldn’t help but notice that they somehow had made the power of the suits match the power of the potions that Master Fu had given her. Still, it was different enough from Ladybug to throw suspicions… even though Nathaniel had made an illustration of Ladybug, ‘Fashionette’, Chat, Reverser and Mighty Illustrator. To Nathaniel’s credit, he had made Ladybug with longer hair, taller and more muscular than herself. She then wondered if that’s how other people saw Ladybug or if it was just Nathaniel’s artistic view.

“Marinette as a hero? Wow, you guys are so talented!”

They had been so focused on their explanation of Fashionette that they hadn’t noticed that Lila the lying liar who lies had entered the art room. Marinette closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Oh, and you did a drawing of her with Ladybug, my best friend.”

“Well yeah. We’re making a comic and including Marinette as a hero with us. I’m sorry, who are you?” asked Marc sincerely, as he had no idea who this girl with sausage hair was, but felt weird for how she was talking.

“Oh, you don’t know me? I’m Ladybug’s best friend, Lila Rossi”

“Isn’t Ladybug’s best friend Chat Noir?”

Lila’s eye twitched, but decided that Marc probably would question her if she kept that lie. Marinette smiled wide at that, hoping that Lila would go, but alas, she just approached the table and grabbed one of Marc and Nathaniel’s comics.

“Oh, a comic book. Cool. I know Stan Lee, he basically based Spider-Gwen on me. I might be able to get you to meet him someday.”

The three art kids looked at each other, a bit confused.

“Are you going to use a Ouija?”

“What?”

“Stan Lee died last year”

“And Spider-Gwen was created by Jason Latour and Robbi Rodriguez, not Stan Lee”

“I… I was just testing you. I meant he based Spider-man on me, way before he died, of course.”

“Didn’t know you had a time machine. Must be awesome”

“What?”

“Lila, Spider-man was created in 1962, so either you have aged really well, or you have a time machine.”

“Ugh you guys, always misunderstanding me! I mean the spider-man from the movie!  He’s my best friend!”

“Didn’t know you and Tom Hiddleston were friends”

“Of course, we are very close!”

“Hiddleston is the guy who plays Loki. Holland is Spider-man.” Lila was speechless.

Marinette was using all her power to not fall from her chair laughing. Lila trying to outgeek Marc and Nathaniel, comic book fans extraordinaries, was the funniest thing she had ever seen. Even more fun than when Chloe fell in a puddle of mud.

“Ugh, you suck!”

Lila threw the illustrations to the floor, without noticing that Mister Perrault, the art teacher had gotten in the art room just that moment.

“What is going on?”

“This girl who I am still not sure who is” said Marc quickly, as he could see Lila was going to respond something “started trying to impress us with her lies, but since we didn’t believe her, she just threw our work”

“They were being mean to me!” Lila tried to sob, while the other three teens were gathering the stuff she had thrown.

“Regardless of what they might have said, I caught you on the act of trying to destroy the work of art they had done for Marinette, and if there is something I will not tolerate in my club, is precisely that. Follow me to the Principal’s office… whoever you are.”

The trio smiled. Marinette couldn’t help but worry at Lila being akumatized yet again, but she also wanted to put some input on her “super hero” persona that Marc and Nathaniel had created with so much love for her.

——-

Art Teacher has no canon name, so I landed in “Perrault” after searching for french last names. If you don’t know who Charles Perrault is, I weep for your childhood. 

And I do accept suggestions for “Fashionette” canon name, which would be also my Akumanette, should I ever write one. 

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #ml fiction #ml au #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #lila rossi #marc anciel #nathaniel kurtzberg #ml oneshot #ml Lila Gets Exposed #ml salt #ml salt fic