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willowistic22 · 4 years

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Please... (Redfinch)

Albert has been thrown to the refuge before. It was an ugly story but at least it prepared him from what was coming when he got thrown in again. But Finch? This was his first time learning on his own how relentless Snyder is...

Word count: 3302

Part : [1 this] - (if ppl like this i’ll make more parts)

Warnings: Blood, abuse, torture, knife cuts, restraints, mentions of death, beatings, cussing (no surprise there lol), in short this is a whump fic. I probably missed some warnings and if I did please let me know!

A/N: Hello, yes, I am well aware that I’ve vanished from my fanfic writing spree. It’s gonna be more common now because school is more hectic online than irl. Anyways, i came up with this idea when I was in the middle of having writers block from writing another wip and ended up finishing this one whoops. I also like ignored the remainder of requests from my inbox not bcs i don’t want to do them but i haven’t gotten the time. Especially since this is October and my school always have special plans on October so I’m sorry. But, hey I got a fic out! ENJOY! (might make this a three part thing if you guys want idk)

[ @jaelynn-is-slightly-confused i did it.......................... ]

The first time he got sent to this hellspace was years ago, and fortunately for Albert it only lasted for four days before he was able to bust out. Odd how he thought something would be different. He expected the treatment would stay the same, no surprise there. The bounded limbs, the painful souvenirs smeared all over his body, being left to fend for your own life, none of this was new. And yet, Al thought maybe something physical about this awful settlement would be different. Maybe painting the walls a different color? Cleaning the little drops of blood on the floor?

A funny idea to be thinking about in this kind of situation. But he needed something to calm him down. Something to distract him from the pain all over his body. The bruises from punches, the strangling feeling made by a strong pair of hands ghosting his neck, the cuts from a knife marking his skin, the pain in his wrists while they’re tightly bound to each other with a rope, basically everything that’s been given to him the minute he arrived here.

An itch in his throat triggered him to go on a coughing fit. It made him feel every inch of pain all over his torso as he reached for that itch. He ends up opening his eyes after spending a long time closing them.

His senses are now hyper focused on everything around him. Albert can feel the coarse cement wall through the back of his shirt. It’s the only thing making him sit up properly while he spreads his legs out on the dirty floor, just as equally coarse as the wall. He can see streaks of lights coming from the tiny windows on the wall he’s leaning onto. The only light source provided for this basement.

There isn’t anything in here. Most of the kids held in the refuge would stay up stairs. Rooms provided with rickety bunks where at least six kids slept all at once. Big scary men put on guard on every corner with batons, ready to strike when a kid acted up. You only get sent down to the basement, or what most kids would say the ‘torture chamber’, when the ungoldy amount of scars already given to you haven’t made you obey anything they say. And Albert has been a huge pain in the ass.

The sound of the heavy metal door opening bounces on the walls, pulling Albert’s consciousness away from the distraction forming in his head as he was about to close his eyes for another rest. Slow footsteps climbing down the wooden stairs echoes throughout the room. A weak light slowly gets stronger as the footsteps get louder in Al’s ears.

The sound of the footsteps against the wooden stairs turn into strong assertive steps on the concrete floor. Al weakly darts his eyes up at the big man, bringing a candle in one hand and a lit cigarette hanging loosely in his mouth.

“Good to see you again, Al!” Snyder exclaimed after huffing out a cloud of smoke, a devilish grin painting his face.

“Wish I could say the same to you” Albert voiced as best as he could, hoarse but Snyder could hear the hatred behind it.

The beaten up redhead proceeds to spit at his captor’s shoes with a glare. In return, Snyder chuckles out whilst shaking his head.

“You think that’s funny?” Snyder challenged.

“Actually, I do!”

In the matter of seconds, Snyder gets closer and viciously grabs Albert by the neck with a tight grip. He holds him up with one hand on the neck, high with his back up against the wall.

Despite his throat being seconds away from being totally crushed, he was able to hold up his glare. The pain is unimaginable, but his smile remains. Albert is not giving in to obeying this man in any way. Not even the fear he’s trying to assert on him.

“Fearless. I admire that” Snyder notes, curiously tilting his head as he examines the details of his face.

“Thanks. My parents are pretty proud of that too” Albert needed some effort to get the words out, but thought it was definitely worth the pain to see the displeased look in Snyder.

“And very stubborn...”

They lock their eyes in a glare, none of them showing any sign of turning away.

“I’ll have to fix that attitude…” Snyder exclaimed. He turns towards the stairs leading upstairs and shouts, “Bring ‘em in”

The door opened, followed by a sound of two men viciously telling someone to obey their orders. Not a moment later, a tumbling noise reveals a weak body being pushed down the stairs and onto the concrete floor with a loud thud. Their back was facing Al, so he didn’t know who that was.

But Al noticed the newsboy cap, lying on the floor not far from the figure. It was thrown away from their head when they fell down the stairs. The cap looks eerily familiar. God, did Albert hope it wasn’t who he thinks it is…

The two men from earlier came down. One uses his feet to flip over the person they’ve just thrown down here, along with the bound wrists with the same rope as Al dropping in front of their chest. With the minimal light provided by the little windows and now the presence of Snyder’s candle, Albert can tell who they’ve just thrown in.

His smirk slowly drops at the sight of the weak boy. His hazel eyes no longer glaring at his captor, but staring helplessly at the body lying on the floor. Blond hair no longer electrified as it used to. Al’s favorite face to cradle no longer looks the same as before. Eyes still clenched shut. Snyder smirks, seeing his tactic has shown some progress. And he barely did anything yet.

“Not so funny now, huh?” Snyder taunted under his breath, only Albert was able to hear it, “Should’ve brought the boy into the mix sooner…”

Snyder loosens his grip around Al’s neck, but he’s soon held up once again by two of Snyder’s henchmen. One holds down his shoulders, pinning him up against the wall, and another by the chest and stomach.

Snyder makes his way to the boy on the ground with lazy steps. Albert can see him reaching for something under his jacket. It was soon revealed to be a knife once he playfully glides it in the air while kneeling down to the boy. He throws away his burnt out cigarette and places the candle on the floor, not far from the helpless body. He grabs the boy’s chin to make him look up with his free hand, smiling like the devil when he hears the boy whimpering from his touch.

“I’m not one to like guys… but this one’s clearly a looker, don’t you think?” Snyder examines the face in his hand.

Albert’s temper was acting up, but his struggles to break free from the strong grip was instantly met with punches to the stomach. The bruises from earlier makes the pain hurt even more. With a silent raise of two fingers, Snyder made the two henchmen stop the punching. It gives Albert some time to settle in with the pain.

Another signal from Snyder, and the henchmen drops Al on the floor and leaves the basement to the three. Albert’s head was up against the concrete floor, taking in the cold and dusty texture.

He’s on the same eye level as the boy. A desperate gaze towards the innocent face now full of blood, water, dust, and dirt all smudged together on his skin. Al could see more details, maybe bruises or cuts covered up by the smudges.

“Come on now, Finch! You’re invited to the party!” Snyder said to the boy, bringing his face right to his own. It forces him to slightly sit up, whimpering along as his body is getting forced under all that pain, “The least you could do is appreciate the invitation”

It was the order to open his eyes. God knows what Snyder would do if he didn’t. The action reveals a pair of Albert’s favorite blue eyes, but fear clouds it along with the redness caused from what he assumes to be a lot of crying.

Finch never loses his composure. He’s that cool and mysterious guy everyone is intrigued by. Either have a cool smirk or a neutral quiet face at all times. He doesn’t express his feelings freely, so it keeps people guessing. But those tear streaks, shaky limbs, pressed down sobs in his throat, that wasn’t usual. Albert may have seen him vulnerable, but this wasn’t the romantic and soft side of him that he’s used to. This was genuine fear.

“I know you’re not one to follow orders from me…” Snyder started, guiding Finch to sit up properly. His unbalanced head moves along with the dazing motion in his mind. In a split second, the sound of a slap echoes through the room. Finch falling helplessly the moment his huge hand connects to his cheek. With a little yelp from the pain, he’s back on the ground, desperately holding back his sobs and scrunching his eyes shut.

“... But I’m sure we could… make some changes to that” Snyder continued, turning his head around to face Albert.

By now, Al found the little strength to prop himself up to sit up against the wall again. He snarls, pushing Snyder to smile to his own amusement.

“I see progress being made!” He exclaimed with an unsettling grin after noting his silence. He turns back to face Finch, “Let’s see how much of that we can get for today’s session…”

Snyder drags Finch by the ropes that ties his arms together up till it can reach the rusty old hook attached to the ceiling. He gasps at the pain in his wrists carrying his entire weight up on the hook, all the pain being stretched out. The tip of his toes grazed the floor and his head hung low.

The same knife from earlier makes its way to press on Finch’s chest. Albert had only realized his shirt was unbuttoned just now and takes in all the horrifying scars. It ranges from faint purples and blues and very clear red and pink lines, all of which are smeared across his body. The cold blade hasn’t cut through his skin, but it made Finch’s senses hyper focused. Lungs working at full force, loud breathing and rapid chest movements. He thought he was just playing tricks, making him think he’s seconds away from cutting some skin.

When he least expected it, the blade drew another line just below his collar bone. It causes the boy to let out a half suppressed yelp. Snyder dragged the knife so slow, Finch could feel every bit of the pain.

“Wait! Stop!” Albert could only yell from a distance.

“Thought we’ve managed to get you to shut up...” Snyder turns his head a little to see Albert behind his shoulder. He digs the blade an inch deeper into Finch’s skin, causing a little cry to finally escape his lips but soon was suppressed once again.

“He has nothin’ to do with this!”

Albert shifts a bit loudly. It instantly alerts Snyder, causing him to fully turn his head towards him with a glare.

“Try getting any closer, and I’ll slit his throat open right now!” Snyder growled, firmly holding the blade against the weak throat. It made Finch pull his head up to avoid getting cut, inevitably forcing his eyes to open to stay cautious around it.

Albert locks his eyes in Finch’s desperate gaze back at him. A silent cry for help, which only made Al furious because he can’t do anything. He wants to wipe his tears away, clean his face, and just hold him tight against his chest. Get the two back to the lodge where their friends are waiting. Everything in his power to get Finch away from any more torture.

Snyder smiled at Albert’s compliance, forcibly settling his body back on the wall.

“Atta, boy,” He said, turning his head back to face Finch. He grabs a fistful of blonde curls and whispers, “See? Told’ja he’d listen to you”

Snyder pulls the knife out of his flesh. Finch gasps at the pain, red blood dripping down his body. His breath becomes fast and uncontrollable once again. And he didn’t stop there. Punches being thrown, more knife cuts, and a hand gripping firmly around his neck while he growls words that shapes nightmares. The chest starts to add in more color to it. Streaks of blood dripped down his slightly toned body. Each of those marks burns deeply into him. With every swing from the fist, Finch uses all his energy to suppress his voice despite the unimaginable pain it emits.

Finch has been in a fight before. He knows what it feels like getting punched over and over again. But this? This is something new. He’s in a position where he can’t do anything. And god is he scared for his life. Albert won’t blame him. After a few dozen punches, his lover fell limp. Hanging helplessly on the hook and taking all the new cuts and bruises like he deserves it. His heart skipped a beat, thinking that he actually might’ve given up.

“Can’t you tell he’s had enough of it?” Albert shouted, helplessly watching his lover get tortured to near death.

Snyder continues to use Finch as a punching bag, ignoring his near silent cries and Albert’s pleas to stop.

“What does it have to do with ‘im?!”

A hook to the chin this time.

“You fucking bastard! You’ll kill him!”

Finch couldn’t hold his crying anymore, despite being told to before he got thrown in the basement. Snyder draws out the knife again upon hearing all the sobs escape his cut lips.

“Snyder, please!” Albert’s voice shakes.

He stops his arm and turns to face Albert, dropping his hand with the knife to his side. Albert can be seen on the verge of tears, and he won’t deny it to anyone. Snyder’s lips fell open with wonderment.

“I get the point already. You don’t have to keep hurting him...” Albert explained even further, desperation lacing his words. Eyes slowly welling up with water, “Please…”

Snyder scoffs, twisting his lips into the devil's satisfied smile, “Say that again”

He just wants to see Albert complying to him. Hear him beg to stop the injustice torture. Maybe as far as to hear him cry.

“Please… Let him go...” breathlessly, Albert begged. He could feel a drop of water from one of his eyes threatening to fall down his cheek.

Snyder approaches Albert, kneeling down in front of him. He uses the knife from earlier, still full of Finch’s blood dripping off the blade, to tilt Albert’s chin upwards. He glares at Snyder once their eyes meet, but it only makes the man smirk with delight.

“I see you’ve come to your senses”

Hopefully that meant he’d stop and let Finch back upstairs. But this is Snyder, he’s not going to let one of his detained kids off for free.

“But I don’t think you’re... ‘docile’ enough,” Snyder added.

He puts away the knife, letting Albert breathe for a moment. But that breath was stolen from him as Snyder proceeds to slap his cheek, so hard the noise echoes throughout the room. He falls to the ground, adding more to the pain he’s feeling. If his hands weren’t tied up, he would’ve already punched the crap out of that monster.

“You sound adorable when you beg, y’know?” Snyder said standing up to walk back to Finch.

Albert huffs out breaths full of anger, watching him approach his bloody human punching bag. He blows a strain of red locks away from his eyes to carefully watch what he’s going to do.

Snyder grabs Finch’s cheeks, forcing him to look up, “You’re definitely a keeper. Isn’t that right, Al?”

He turns to face Albert, watching as the redhead struggles to sit upright once again. He didn’t break his glare at the man while doing so, showing his own daggers through hazel eyes.

Snyder scoffs it off, focusing back to Finch. He unhooks the rope off of the ceiling, the limp body giving in to gravity and hitting the floor instantly. His breathing is slowing down, but hitched with a sob ever so often.

“So, why don’tcha have a little alone time—“ He grabs Finch by the hair. He yelped in pain before being tossed towards where Albert is sitting, his feet somehow complying to the push despite the ache he feels, “—and think about what you did”

He was lucky, Albert was able to catch him into his chest and lap. If he didn’t, Finch would’ve hit the floor and added another bruise on his face. Finch quickly scrambles himself into his embrace as best as he can with tied hands in front of him. Shaking with suppressed sobs into Al’s tattered clothes.

“You don’t wanna make him suffer for something he didn’t do, right?” Snyder taunted.

It fuels Albert’s anger to the brim. He tries his best to wrap his arms around the boy while maintaining his glare at Snyder as he makes his way up the stairs. The heavy door quickly opens and shuts not long after a dozen or so drawn out steps up the stairs. The basement is once again left with minimal lighting since the candle from previously was brought up along with him.

The moment he hears the door close, Finch lets out his sobs. Loud, fueled with ache and fear. Albert suspects he was told to stay quiet while they were doing… whatever it is they did to him to make him look like this. He had a few guesses about what it was, but Al couldn’t bear to put the image in his head.

“Oh, Finch, what did they do to you?” Albert whispered, carefully holding Finch’s cheek up to see the damage.

Finch stays silent as they view each other’s faces. Albert wipes Finch’s tears with his thumb delicately to be careful as to not harm him. He cries at the touch of his soft hand, the gentleness he’s been longing for the moment he got into this shithole of a place.

He crashes his face into the crook of Albert’s neck, sobbing a little softer than before. Al places his chin on his curls gently. He rubs Finch’s back and shushes in his hair. Albert knows it won’t calm him down, but there’s nothing wrong with trying.

“Albert… please… I wanna go home…” Finch said shakily, so soft Al nearly couldn’t hear him. About the only thing he has said since the moment the couple has reunited.

Albert hushed the boy, rubbing his cheeks against Finch’s curls, “I know. I know. Just hold on for me”

He continues to sob, a puddle slowly forming on Albert’s shirt. The dam for Albert himself finally broke, letting a drop of water fall down his cheek and a nose slowly getting stuffed. He holds him in his tight arms, as if he’d disappear the moment he lets go.

“We’re gettin’ outta here. I promise” Albert promised, a big promise to uphold too.

It would seem difficult with the position they’re in. He believes their friends are out there coming up with an escape plan or will visit them frequently to check up on them till a plan forms. Till then, he promises to do everything he can to get Finch off of Snyder’s evil hands. Anything to see his Finchy smile again. Even if it ends up being the last thing he does.

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eyedelater · 7 years

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it makes sense, considering past events, that ???% would emerge upon a sudden traumatic knockout... but what's new and alarming is that ???% now has a voice in the narrative.

???% uses boku pronouns to refer to itself. i'm going with "it" as the third person pronoun for ???% because i don't know what to think yet and that seems pretty neutral.

i don't know whether to treat ???% as a new character or what... i mean, it's obviously not NEW, but when a silent one speaks up after being present but hidden for 100 chapters, the voice itself, if nothing else, is certainly new. ???% was never something with a voice before, was it?

(i'm not saying it has a physical voice, since the text we see in this chapter seems to represent thoughts rather than speech, but you know what i mean. we're hearing from its perspective)

and a character(?) having a voice(?) raises new questions that haven't necessarily been relevant/askable until now. like, how much does ???% know, understand, want? it seems to definitely understand that today's the big day with tsubomi-chan, but why did it start destroying shit as soon as it took control? and in light of the destruction, why did it then continue doing what mob was about to do? does ???% itself also like tsubomi, or is it acting for mob’s sake? does it know that she probably won't like a boy who surfs up to her on a wave of buckled concrete? does it even want mob to get on well with tsubomi in the first place? if so, why? what does ???% get out of doing things that are good or bad for mob? i mean, we've seen in the past that when it does things that are bad for mob (e.g. knocking ritsu unconscious), mob fears and suppresses it as much as possible, pretending it doesn't exist. that can't be what ???% wants, right? so doing things that are bad for mob isn't "profitable" for ???%, but doing things that are good for mob (e.g. winning the fateful battle against mogami) isn’t necessarily good for ???% either. so then, what does it want for mob? what does it want from mob? what does it think of mob?

is it separate from mob? i’d say so. distinct but inseparable? the other side of mob's coin... but most people, even espers, don't have an other side to their coin... the inhabitant of mob’s vessel, with a greater capacity than any other known vessel... is it stuffed in there with his soul or what?

(maybe tsubomi will be like "(DOKI DOKI) (SWOON~) i always wanted to date a Bad Boy...!" when ???% walks bleeding tattered mob up to her and silently offers her the dropped bouquet like "(???% face)")

maybe ???% wants what mob wants but just... pursues his goals at MAX INTENSITY with NO REGARDS FOR CONSEQUENCES. pure chaotic self-interest. bullies roughing up you and your little brother? EASY WAY TO STOP THEM: KNOCK EVERYONE OUT. JUST EVERYONE. choked out by an egomaniac? EASY WAY TO TEACH HIM A LESSON: HUMBLE HIM... AND HIS ENTIRE SCHOOL BUILDING. IN THE SKY. JUST FLING EM UP THERE.

but i think this development in the story does discount a few of the main hypotheses as to ???%'s nature. the fact that it refers to itself in the first person (and that it says it can be needed at times) seems to indicate an autonomy and self-awareness we hadn't seen before; thus, the idea that ???% is some aspect of mob's personality seems to have been nullified. like, i'd say this shows that it is certainly a separate consciousness from the shigeo we know and love. right now, kageyama shigeo is out cold, and if you come knocking, someone else will answer the door. it's not just mob failing to resist doing as he pleases because his percentage meter went haywire. mob is only in control up to 100%. similarly, i think we can discount my heretofore favored hypothesis, the idea that ???% is not so much an autonomous entity, but rather a defense mechanism that takes over mob's body in order to provide a crude, imprecise force of self-preservation. we can now see that it IS probably an autonomous entity with its own thoughts and identity, not just a phenomenon or reaction.

but why did ???% quake up the pavement??? this mystifies me. maybe it really does just do everything at max intensity? i guess we'll have to wait and see.

i think a well-supported hypothesis for the true nature of ???% would now be something like, “???% is a spiritual entity, unknown in origin, which is (and has always been) permanently bound to mob’s spirit, but which is not itself a part of mob’s consciousness/personality.” that’s far from the only option, of course, but i’d say it’s among the most likely explanations... we’ll have to wait, see, wait, and see.

another thing to address would be the creepy transition mob's body undergoes on pages 2 and 3... what is that shit? we just don't know

props to ONE-sensei for starting to wrap up these two longstanding storylines ("mob likes tsubomi" and "what is ???%") SIMULTANEOUSLY

some translation notes:

can you guess why i posted this chapter early?????????? (HINT: IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S NO TEXT ON 7 OF THE 13 PAGES)

when the kid says "hellooo..." and "hey, are you-" in the raws he's actually saying "onii-san" as a way to address mob, i.e. calling out to him like "hey mister" but i couldn't decide on a good way to translate that "onii-san" ("mister" is more appropriate as a translation for "oji-san," not "onii-san," and "big bro" or "bro" sounds weird in english, we just don't have a good translation for onii-san in english unless it's in the context of actual brothers) and i felt it would sound weird if i left it as "onii-san" so i took the easy way out and translated the "onii-san"s instead as what an english-speaker would cautiously call out to someone in this situation (i.e. hellooo... etc)

in retrospect, i'm kicking myself for putting "important moment" instead of "special occasion" in ???%'s third line. the phrase just wouldn't come to me until too late and it sounds so much better

KOAP

you must be feeling a little dusty after falling on the pavement there, mob-kun. why don't you go freshen up, wash your face with some KOAP

lather up some cleansing, sudsy KOAP

the "i'll make sure nothing gets in my way" line on the last page... ok, the japanese line was "jama suru mono ha, zenbu dokashite..." which Literally translates to "things that get in my way, all of them moving aside" or something along those lines. well, the "dokashite" verb is like "remove" or "move (out of the way)" but basically, it's quite clear that the sentiment of the statement is that he will not be stopped by any obstacles. so i had a long internal battle about how literally to translate the line. and i eventually decided that "everything that gets in my way will be moved aside..." just didn't sound badass enough. (like, the badass feeling sorta gets across in the raws, but it's hard to translate the literal line in a way that retains the badassness, you know?) so i tweaked the line slightly into its current form. now, to be clear, this is far from the first or most notable line i've tweaked slightly without even telling y’all. it's just... this line is still frustrating me a little... but i hope it came across as appropriately badass.

for the omake, the "if you make eye contact and say it plainly" part... fuck ok maybe i just stuck that "plainly" in there because it sounded good. doesn't it sound good? but the more literal translation is like, "if, making eye contact, you do a dialogue/discussion/conversation/interaction..." with that last word being "対話." and with those four definitions of 対話 provided to me, i couldn't decide whether it connoted speech in particular, or if it could also be applied to nonverbal interactions. because the context seemed to be, like, "if you make eye contact etc, your message will get across." and making eye contact is, in itself, an interaction! no words necessary! but i translated it as "say it (plainly)" because i figured if it's the eye contact part of the interaction that matters in getting your message across, it doesn't matter if you're speaking or not. (sorry if this doesn't make any sense at all, i'm just trying to straighten out some things with my convoluted thought process for picking the right words)

#(mostly about SPOILERS SPOILERS: ???%)#and some translation notes #mob psycho 100 spoilers #mp100 spoilers #MOB BLOG MOB LOG #question mark question mark question mark percent

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ipushedthewrongbutton · 4 years

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Skyrim is such a fun game??? But also surprisingly emotional

it’s been more or less since the game came out that i played it. I don’t even know how many years but long enough for me to not remember anything but the literal first scene, so i decided, since we’re in quarantine and all, this would be the perfect time to start over and finally at least finish the main quest. back when i first played, my english wasn’t great so i didnt understand upgrading or taking random quests from random npc’s so i mostly went along where the lil white arrows told me to go.

NOW THO, i can upgrade weapons, gear, i can actually understand alchemy and enchanting, i can do as many useless quests as i want and i have the internet at my disposal in case i was too stoopid to figure out the next step myself.

Started out great, clicked the wrong button while picking a name and so instead of pressing the backspace button, i confirmed my male breton’s name as Prisoner, for the rest of the fucking game. He looks like a sweetheart tho who’s always confused, thin and wiry, ponytail, can’t grow a beard to save his life but he has a scar under his eye. He’s amnesiac, was arrested at the border, has no fucking clue what he was doing there.

I didn’t wanna think up a backstory, hence...

I immediately decided, fuck it, i ain’t fighting this civil war, I’m a breton, y’all nords do whatever the fuck u want. And i stayed with that. I briefly thought about choosing a side depending on whose point resonated with me more. Turns out, neither point is entirely valid. One side has no respect of history and culture, the other side is racist. So Prisoner was neutral for the entirety of the game. Neither Ulfric nor Tulius got any attention from this homie.

What did receive attention tho was the main quest and boi, i know everyone hates chosen one stories. And they’re right. But man, i love chosen one stories. And my baby boi is the dragonborn and he’s like ?????? And everyone is like “you defeat dragons and you are the hero everyone waited for” and my dude is like ????? Ok??? Sure?????? And he just goes to places and helps as many people as possible on the way.

Fuckin, the best thing was sideplots happening BY ACCIDENT. Prisoner goes on a quest to murder a shitty orphanage keeper, goes to tell the kid who commissioned him, he feels pretty okay about it. Then he gets The Letter. “we know” with a black handprint. And the shit that left my body at that moment, could’ve started a new nation. I mean, i had a 35 damage weapon at that point and i had slain my, what, fifth dragon at that point so i wasn’t worried about dying from assassins but THE INTIMIDATION WORKED.

LITTLE DID PRISONER KNOW that this would be the biggest emotional rollercoaster in the goddamn game, no lie. Being the chosen one, sure. Defeating dragons that will cause the apocalypse, no pressure. Become thane of a city, aight. But THEN I GET KIDNAPPED IN MY BRANDNEW HOME AND I WAKE UP IN A SHACK WITH A LIL LADY TELLING ME TO KILL ONE OF THREE PEOPLE. THE FEAR I EXPERIENCED... but then they recruited me, and they’re all really cute colourful characters and we’re assassins and we’re the black brotherhood and we kill people for a living but we’re a Family. And my baby boi character had yet to experience anything like that. Sure the greybeards are mentor-ish but Prisoner never lived up on High Hrothgar amongst the old dudes. The blades did a roadtrip thing which was fun but then they kinda just squatted in their new headquarters and sent Prisoner on his merry way. But this, they had a sleeping place and a dining hall and a lil garden and the werewolf man gave me insulting nicknames and there’s a little girl who says she’s a vampire and to this day, I’m still not sure if she was telling the tRUTH OR NOT.

AND THEN, AND THEN, the whole emperor thing happens, right, and that’s fucking hilarious. Prisoner with a chef’s head, i was cackling like a madman. And then AND THEN, THE BETRAYAL. ASTRID SAYS there’ll be a surprise up on the lil walkway bridge thing. And then there’s no one. AND THEN THERE’S SOLDIERS TELLING ME THEY’RE AMBUSHING HQ. AND I LOST. MY. SHIT. The thing wouldn’t let me fat travel either because the soldiers kept chasing me and i thought i was gonna have to ride Shadowmere all the way to the other side of skyrim, hysteric and worried about mY FAmILy. AND THEN i arrive at hq and there’s on of them PINNED TO THE TREE and like, guys. Guys. I was crying and full on immersion, i was like “nobody leaves here alive”, it was horrific, I didn’t do any of the stealthing, i just ripped them apart with my draugr greatsword, i already leveled up to the point where i cut my enemies’ heads off, it was glorious. It was so emotional, seeing werewolf man get killed, HE GAVE ME INSULTING NICKNAMES OKAY, and then finding Nazir and then hiding in a fucking coffin with a corpse who’s then like, trying to sooth me?? it was so emotional and i was crying tears of goddamn grief, i was Prisoner and Prisoner was me. The line between fantasy and reality: gone. I had spent HOURS upon DAYS on this game at this point, there was no going back.

hoo

So then i killed the emperor, and the reacting of the land was “...hm?” And i killed the general captain dude personal, like, optional my ass, i was gonna murder that shithead optional or not.

So i bought a house. In whiterun. It’s called breezehome (that’s not a choice) and I instantly decided if i ever get my own place, I’m calling it breezehome. I really hesitated about getting a house, since Prisoner is a nomad and constantly on the road, plus, has a “””””home””’”’” with the blades and other places in other quests. But then i decided it takes too much frigging effort to get all my loot sold cus all the pawnbrokers are pawn broke (HAH) and i can only sell them like a few gems and that’s it. And i needed a place to store all that shit, plus, i was going nuts from my collection of keys on my person aaaaaand i needed like a drawer to chuck em all in. And so that’s what i diiiiiiid. I later got the place in solitude too to finish the thane quest there but i literally only used the mannequins in the basement for my brotherhood and nightingale outfits. Which i both have worn literally once and then i just went with my guild outfit. 46 armor is good fuckin armor and the best i owned the entire game. Added some fire resistant shoes and suddenly dragons were super easy to defeat. I also found dragonbane somewhere, i literally only used it to wack dragons when they run aground. Otherwise i switched between a bow and a greatsword, both with the power of stealing health. Glorious. I was invincible. Well, with that and the power of Strategically Running Away.

I thought it was weird my guy never got the choice of being a leader of literally anything. I mean, thane is an honorary title so you can do whatever you want and not get shit for it, like the privileged fucks we all are, but arch-mage when i only entered the school like last week? Head of the thief’s guild after going on 2 assignments, one of them being the chasing and murdering of the previous one? Never got the choice, was just like “you’re perfect for that” and me “‘I’m LITERALLY the least qualified person im this entire province!” Also i has a flute on my person at all times, bard’s college never taught me how to play it, the bastard’s, all they did was send me on errand in dusty cAVES. AT LEAST IN ASSASSIN’S CREED YOU HAVE TO CHASE THE SHANTIES IN ORDER TO PERFORM THE SHANTIES.

Then the husband thing.

I knew there was an option to get married and adopt. I don’t want kids, in game or out. But i am disgustingly lonely (especially after the massacre of the black brotherhood) in game or out, so i looked it up and SURE ENOUGH, SAME SEX MARRIAGE IS DELISIOUSLY LEGAL IN SKYRIM, OH BLESSED DAY. Things i learned with this: i cannot handle flirting. It was cute and Prisoner and Falkar are adorable but I CRINGE, A LOT.

Honestly, the most i personally had with this was envisioning Prisoner finally leaving for Sovngarde (after putting it off for as long as possible) and giving his final goodbye to his brand new husband like, caressing each other’s cheeks and holding each other’s shoulders, “i promise I’ll be home again soon” “and if you don’t, i will find you in sovngarde” “keep the hearth warm while I’m gone” “keep your sword sharp, you always forget to redo the enchantments” “‘don’t neglect the companions just because you wanna housewife” just sacharine as. Fuck. They were in bed togeher the night before, just talking about useless shit and holding each other t was very PG. And then after defeating Alduin, Prisoner finds himself back in Skyrim, relieved that it’s all fucking over at long fucking last, and he climbs on Shadowmere’s back, tired, and rides back home. When he arrives in Whiterun, tired and weathered, he spots Falkar just returning from a mission, he’s also travel weary and just unlocked the door to breezehome. He spots Prisoner and Shadowmere entering through the gates. They pause, they look at each other like they’ve been apart for years instead of days. Falkar drops his back, Prisoner gets off the horse and suddenly they’re running towards each other, till they smack together and they’re just holding each other, it’s the best hug ever.

Aaaaand that’s kinda where i left it. I have more companion missions but i physically can’t get myself to do them because i feel the story is over, there’s no point. I can also still pick which side of the civil war i wanna take but it would be extremely out of character now. it’s weird, i feel like crying again. I invested so much time in this story and these characters with so little effort. Cus usually, writing my own stories, it takes effort to develop and build them. Here, all i had to do was make choices and kill the bad guys. And I don’t want to say goodbye even though i feel like there’s nothing more to add.

#i ramble about skyrim and i become emotional multiple times #i miss skyrim memes

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