#Hoodie Weather!!! yeah that's it. man i haven't listened to that in ages. maybe that'll be today's weather report

[seventh-district]

.

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent post #cw vent post #vent #cw vent #wound mention #sighs deeply #had to take my shirt off for someone recently for medical reasons and while 'oh you poor thing..' is far from the worst response ive gotten #it's definitely still strange to hear. like i'm not rlly surprised‚ i am aware that i'm an upsetting sight #and i keep myself covered all the time to avoid upsetting people that can't handle the sight of marred skin #but i've grown so comfortable in my body over all these years that an interesting side effect of that is that i tend to forget #just how shocked and upset and worried ppl tend to get when they see me. it's almost funny. the sad kind of funny i guess #guess i'd rather laugh than dwell on the knowledge that i'm a set of walking trigger warnings that must be censored #anyways. that experience combined with the stressful and tiring process of tending to a wound on my back for the last 2 weeks #has me thinking about Ch. 5 of AEIWNF. for... reasons. so maybe i'll finally make myself draft and post that today #there's so many things i need to make myself do but the appeal of just sitting alone weaving bracelets and binge-listening to TMA is strong #the urge to be alone and craft things while listening to stories told through a lo-fi medium... where does it come from #that's a rhetorical question i know exactly where it came from. i'm just turning into both of my grandmothers lmao #what's the line. 'i've got my grandmother's veins in the back of my hands' what's that from. it's a Wonder Years song right #Hoodie Weather!!! yeah that's it. man i haven't listened to that in ages. maybe that'll be today's weather report #anyways. what else can i vent about. uhh. it's getting harder and harder to put my thoughts into words and that's concerning! #i'm fighting the desire to push everyone away again even though it feels like i should. i'm too toxic of a person #like. talk to any of the people that have ghosted/blocked me and they'll likely tell you to stop wasting your time on me lmao #and they'd probably be right. i'm so caught up in my own issues that i feel bad for anyone that tries to be friendly to me #everyone gets sick of my shit eventually. i'm overbearing and self-centered or you don't hear from me for months. there's no inbetween #i wish there was. god i wish there was #i'm never active on here anymore bc i feel like if i am then that's disrespectful to everyone waiting to hear back from me #but it's so much easier for me to post and reblog stuff than it is to talk one on one with literally anyone #it's not even social anxiety atp there's just something wrong with my brain. like not to self diagnose but Something's Wrong #okay that's enough whining. gonna go try to do something productive to make myself feel less useless