#How canon and most people write Dan Feng: stoic and prim like a nobleman who is also down bad for one sweaty Furnace Master

[trashyvanillabean]

So far we've seen Dan Feng in these (at least most likely unreliable) narratives as this imposing, stoic and regal figure.

What if he was just as unhinged, possibly even more unhinged, than even the Trailblazer?

Everybody has their quirks, from the wild to the mundane. What's Dan Feng's quirk?

Voluntarily poisoning himself (for experiments).

When he was just a young'un, one of the first things he did when he visited the Alchemy Commission was deliberately let a snake bite him just so he could experience the effects of the venom. He was forbidden from being left alone in the medicine cabinets without a supervisor.

When Baiheng first visited Dan Feng for a lunch between actual friends, the sheer volume of her panicked screams would make you think she happened across a dead body. And of course she would scream at the sight of the nearly dead body of the Luofu's High Elder, keeled over on the floor just barely breathing from the poison in his lunch because he refused a food tester. And then she finds out Dan Feng knew his lunch was poisoned, and wanted to guess what kind of poison it was.

When it happened in front of Jingliu, she punched Dan Feng in the stomach hard enough to make him puke it all back up and carried him all the way to the Alchemy Commission.

Yingxing once went on a peaceful walk with Dan Feng in Fyxestroll Garden and listened to Dan Feng talk about botany and plants he recognized. (Haha, he's nerdy~)

He turns his head just for a moment to really appreciate some water lilies and lotuses; and when he returns his attention, Dan Feng is chewing on something.

Neither of them brought food.

Yingxing: "What are you eating?"

Dan Feng freezes like a cat caught in 4K.

Yingxing looks behind him and notices another brightly (and quite dangerously) colored flower bushes.

Not too long ago, Dan Feng was quite excitedly rambling about those specific flowers being poisonous:

Nausea and vomiting

Respiratory issues

High temperature

Chills

Headaches

Rapid and irregular pulse

Possibly hallucinations

Yingxing: 😱 "SPIT IT OUT!! SPIT IT OUT RIGHT NOW!!!"

Dan Feng: 👀

Dan Feng flees at 15 meters per second so Yingxing can't catch him.

And despite his best efforts, including stationing a Cloud Knight in every nook and cranny hidden somewhere on the Luofu, Jing Yuan failed to account for the random potted plants in the Seat of Divine Foresight.

Not a single one of them is medicinal, let alone edible.

Oh dear.

#vanille throws out the garbage #honkai star rail #headcanon #headcanons #crack headcanons #my headcanons #dan feng #baiheng #jingliu #yingxing #jing yuan #high cloud quintet #inspired by The Apothecary Diaries #How canon and most people write Dan Feng: stoic and prim like a nobleman who is also down bad for one sweaty Furnace Master #The Dan Feng living in my brain rent-free: very Maomao-coded #i have seen peeps who like to write Dan Feng as catlike #cat owners also struggle to make sure their cat does not eat anything that they really shouldn't #tw medical #just in case