#I FUCKING LOVE SIXTUS

[pearl-kite]

For the ask game:

💎 🌿 :)

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

Hm. I started collecting old books, like printed in the early 20th century or older, and my grandma decided to give me a couple of her dad's old school books. One of them is one of the readers that schools would have with a bunch of different short stories and poems and excerpts, and the other is a copy of Irving's The Sketchbook. It has a note to Sextus Surname as a reward for good attendance written on the end sheet. He didn't attend past middle school, but kept them. One of them has a pencil rubbing of some kind of coin I can't decipher.

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

Okay, I have this navy short sleeve button-down that has liddol fruits printed all over it that my mom jokingly pointed out at JCPenney's, some black jeans, and then these boots that I spoiled myself with as a reward when I got hired to the school district if I had known I'd resign six months later I would have saved the money soiguessi'mhappyididn'tknow

It's kind of the only ensemble I have that feels like an actual outfit instead of just a top and jeans. I am going to be heartbroken when the shirt wears out.

#I will take every opportunity to let people know my very Swedish great grandad was named Sixtus/Sextus #Sixtus Romanus ______ #fucking AMAZING #what was going through the minds of my great great grandfolks #let's emigrate from Sweden and name our sixth child SEXTUS #I've seen it spelled both ways and tbh it's entirely fair if he decided to spell it as Sixtus #no one should be burdened with a name with sex in it #I fuckin love those boots #I saw them on tumblr and my brain was immediately like #I need those #I NEEEEEED those #I did not immediately buy them I actually did use them as a reward #I wish I had bought two of this shirt though #oh rambling hi #thank you for the ask! o3o #sojutsu

[taeloke]

Overanalyzing 4KOTA Chapter 142 instead of just waiting for more info (1/2?)

Honestly? I'm writing King's side of this separately, because it's about time I started talking about him here l and I know I can go on forever about him. That field of over-analysis needs its own house. I would go off about him first but then I'd forget his kids entirely and I don't want to do that to them... Speaking of--

So silly. So precious. Berte is so Helbram-coded and I'm sure that's intentional resemblance.

You know...I wonder which of their traits were inherited from Diane's parents. Probably the golden hair on almost half of them at least. Sixtus and Tioreh's pink hair looks more like a genetic mutation...unless their hair color is inherited from the leaf color of the Sacred Tree? That's possible too.

Diane seems less energetic since becoming a mother. She's settled down and has been shown to be gentle more often than bubbly, which was the impression she gave me in the original series. I'm assuming she hasn't fought since entering the Fairy Realm, too. She's put the stress of the Holy War behind her, and I'm happy that she seems content with her lots of babies. I wonder if she'll get to hear about Dolores once the current issues are over. I'm sure hearing she's Nasiens's adoptive big sister will be a shock. Diane deserves to know that.

The way Tioreh says this makes me suspect Puck is the one behind Nasiens and Myrtel's switcheroo. He must really love that "prank" in that case. Regardless of who was behind it, though, that's actually fucked up. A fairy trolled their own king by swapping their first child with a human, probably knowing exactly what issues both kids would be put in. I can't call this just a prank. I love King to death, but his people are their own kind of awful...

For this moment, let's glance back at how she reacted to that news at first.

Tioreh must have been suspecting this the whole time Nasiens was here, but this reveal may be the moment she started to seriously believe it, if not when Nasiens admitted to feeling healthier in the Fairy Realm. After this, she started to open up about her siblings more and telling Nasiens that he's like them--especially like Phao. All of this is stuff that Nasiens didn't know about since he met her two years ago. All of the tension in this family over Nasiens and Myrtel has been building up for so long...and right now we're watching it all cave in. I'm sure King and Diane had good intentions for hiding the truth, but hiding it's not working anymore.

And Diane knows it's not working anymore. I'm stuck on her asking "Is that bad for you?" Why is she asking that of all things? Is that what King and Diane were so worried about when they decided to never come out about this? Did they think their kids would be upset with having a human for an older brother?

Okay, but maybe that's not all that they considered. Maybe they got worried about how their people outside of their family would react to their theories being confirmed. If that happened, as unfortunate as it is, Mertyl would probably get more ostracized than he was. With that in mind, I'm sure his parents made that choice to protect him from some of the problems he'd inevitably go through. It's a nice thought that way, but this was still a bad call. They made too many assumptions of their own kids' feelings.

In other news...Phao was lurking... Now they're all gonna know and clear up this misunderstanding with their parents, right?

Anyway, I feel like I've written too much for one post, so I'll go on about the rest of the chapter tomorrow. Closing this part with this:

myrtel peek

#4kota #mokushiroku no yonkishi #nanatsu no taizai #nnt #nasiens #nnt diane #tioreh

[lexicoreyo]

Hii same anon ! Do you got any headcanons for mertyl?💕👀😙

Btw I saw this post was wondering if you could tell me your thoughts on this.

https://twitter.com/DailyMertyl2024/status/1770389340587274372?t=1CZ0G5cNDBKLz5nQk5PdIg&s=19

Would you mind me becoming 🗽 anon?

□🗽anon.□

i would love it if you kept sending me things!! i love talking abt 4kota it keeps me occupied while waiting for the next chapter LOL

im gonna talk about the twitter post first cause its just easier to answer, ill put it here so people can read it

“Anybody ever thought about this but could Mertyl be part of a another race too? Idk why I thought of this. Instead of just being human...could he have some kind of magic...???”

honestly i dont think hes anything but human, i saw someone say that he looks like “your stereotypical human Britannian” and i find that very amusing. also humans can have magic? not sure why him having magic would mean he’s part of a different race. it could lead to some cool AU’s though!!

as for headcanons? i havent really thought about it much, but here’s a few that come to mind:

— he has WIND MAGIC i dont make the rules!! (my only reasoning is that be has gray hair and his whip/sword thing feels like it would fit that idk)

— he gets along so good with belte they just annoy the fuck out of the other siblings and its very amusing to them (mertyl always makes sure to apologize though)

— he looks up to king more than diane i think, simply because king can relate to him in the “not fitting in” area

— if everything works out okay in the end for this arc, i think him and nasiens will actually get along pretty alright. definitely not willingly at first though. think of them being in one shirt that says “we love each other!!”

— sixtus totally helps him train on occasion, simply because he needs a sparring partner and he feels that sixtus is the strongest of the siblings (i have no idea if he is but cmon the spirit sword? let me have fun)

— once him and nasiens actually get along, he totally makes fun of nasiens about almost being named mertyl (nasiens hates this because he very much cherishes his own name)

#nanatsu no taizai #4kota #seven deadly sins #four knights of the apocalypse #king harlequin #mokushiroku no yonkishi #nnt #7ds #nasiens #mertyl

[minetteskvareninova]

Minette watches Medici, part 15 (Betrayal)

- This is probably going to be a short one, because I don’t have much to complain about this episode? Like, the whole thing is questionable from the historical perspective and has a lot of problems carried over from the previous episodes, but overall the buildup to the Pazzi plot kinda slaps? Who knows, maybe I’ll fill this one with compliments instead.

- First off, one thing I forgot to mention in the previous entry: the decision to tie Galeazzo’s murder to the Pazzi conspiracy. And I mean, those two things were related, in that they were both attempts to remove an autocratic ruler and reinstate the old semi-oligarchical order, but they weren’t literally perpetuated by the same people. With that said, as far as deviations from history go, this is one of the better ones, because it fits very well into the main plot. Like, if they are going to disregard the history completely, they might as well give us something this good.

- Look, I hate to say this, because she was a great gal and shit, but... They should’ve killed Simonetta sooner. I don’t hate some of the things they were trying to do with Giuliano here, like him being distracted by women, wine and general fucking around, untill he falls in love with a girl who inspires him to take his responsibilities more seriously even after she dies. But like... The whole thing was too little too late. Instead we spend most of Simonetta and Giuliano’s time together with their dumb courtship and even dumber drama with her husband and Sandro.

- Also, the whole “Sandro loves her as an object of artistic adoration, while Giuliano loves her as an actual person” would be a great angle to take if it wasn’t for the fact that a) again, too little too late; b) if Giuliano really loved or at least respected her as an actual person, he would’ve left her alone at the first “get lost” and none of this drama would happen. These two had no fucking chemistry, but honestly that’s to be expected, I’ve yet to see a tsundere girl x presumptuous fuckboy pairing that isn’t pure trash. This is the kind of couple that gives enemies to lovers trope a bad name.

- Another thing that was too little too late? The whole thing with Giuliano finding his place as the hard first of the bank, while Lorenzo is the brain and friendly face. I don’t love either of them as characters, but they have a solid dynamic this show refuses to play on for some reason.

- Also let me clown a little on the whitewashing of Sixtus IV., like, I get that The Borgias did the whole “morally ambiguous pope” thing sooner and better, but come the fuck on. Also was his cardinal nephew supposed to be part of the conspiracy, because IRL he very much was...

- Whitewashing of the Medici family is bearing some really nasty fruits here in the form of tragic flattening of the Pazzi conspiracy. Like, where are my liberatores vibes? The Caesar references?! Halooo??? THIS SHIT COULD’VE BEEN SO POIGNANT ASFJG...

- The flashback was... Eh? Contessina’s death had me rolling my eyes, which - you know you’ve fucked up when a best girl is literally dying and my reacting is a fucking eyeroll. At the same time, we finally got some glimpses of an alternate timeline where Francesco de’ Pazzi had a decent characterization. His pride, his penchant for violence, his contentious relationship with his uncle... This dude could’ve been so interesting with some better writing! As it is, my interest in him as a character lives off of scraps and his mighty cheekbones. Ugh.

- But, I cannot emphasize this enough, despite all of my minor complaints, this was a fucking great episode! The plot was well-thought out, fast paced, the chase at the beginning kicked ass, the twists and turns of the plot were exciting, yet made perfect sense, and Carlo, oh my poor sweet Carlo, my heart goes out to you... Also my girls Clarice and Mamma Lucrezia, god how I love them. Like, so much for my conviction that I’ll end this show without any new blorbos. It’s just that I am better at complaining than praising, sorry about that.

#medici: the magnificent #minette watches medici

[markantonys]

medici anon here to ask u to pretty please post more of ur sims shenanigans.... I love them sm

i haven’t played at all the past week or two so i don’t have any new shenanigans to share from my sims 4 game, so instead i will share the old tale of my kingdom of florence in the sims medieval which i don’t think i’ve ever posted about before! it was several months if not over a year ago, but it was epic. let us commence.

once upon a time there was a kingdom called florence, ruled by the benevolent king lorenzo the great whose only flaw was that he focused so much on the arts and knowledge of his kingdom that he neglected its health and protection. by his side was knight giuliano (they weren’t actually brothers tho bc sims medieval has extremely limited create-a-sim options and you can only make individual sims not families) and spy francesco.

spy francesco and king lorenzo were lovers until lorenzo started wooing healer clarice and eventually married her. heartbroken and furious, francesco swore revenge. he began wooing clarice himself until they eventually had a secret affair and when prince piero was born, GASP, he was actually francesco’s son! at this point francesco put the rest of his plan into action. he went on a rampage and killed giuliano (yes sims can kill other sims in the sims medieval, it’s such a power trip) and then killed lorenzo with the hopes of putting his secret son piero on the throne. but unfortunately i forgot that the game always knows who the biological parents are, so piero wasn’t registered as lorenzo’s son which meant he was unable to inherit the throne from him hjksf alas, francesco’s (my) dastardly plan was foiled and i gave up on the kingdom of florence. oh also there was a whole sidequest where francesco was helping jacoban priest sixtus rig some religious elections or something i forget the details (the religion system in the sims medieval is so fucking funny bc they worship “the watcher” who is the player, hell yeah little sims i am your god and you’d better build some cathedrals for me)

#the sims medieval is GREAT but can only be played for a week or two at a time before getting repetitive #and then must be put away for at least 6 months #bc it's a linear game with quests rather than the freeplay style of regular sims #answered #Anonymous

[cognoscente]

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑𝐒.

TAGGED BY  :   the glorious @starblcssd TAGGING  : @virtuouslongings @idiosynchronics @nikolacvna @gameofwickedness​

LAYER  ONE  :  THE  OUTSIDE .

NAME.    Lorenzo de’ Medici aka il magnifico (the magnificent) EYE COLOUR.    crystal baby blue HAIR STYLE / COLOUR.   light brown turning to darker shades as he grows older. His hair is naturally curly. He prefers letting his hair grow longer in which case his curls turn more loose and elegant-looking. His hair continues to be a huge mess, long or not, and it is not easily tamed. HEIGHT.   6′2″  /  188cm CLOTHING STYLE.    Quite well-dressed and elegant, a proper Renaissance prince. His clothes are tailored and made by expensive fabrics in rich textures and colours, At times his clothing style is even POMPOUS. Same could be said about his modern verse, altough he is more prone to adopt a street style there when he feels like it. BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE.    He has very prominent characteristics overall, but his eyes probably stand out the most. He also has an impressive athletic physique and his long legs probably attract an eye or two.

LAYER  TWO  :  THE  INSIDE .

FEARS.    this boy is bravely stupid so not many material things scare him. He is afraid of disappointing those around him and failing both his family and Florence. He is terrified of illness, war and the prospect of his family being hurt in any way. He is scared AF of bankruptcy and generally doing a shity job as a head of the family and the state. Lowkey is scared his son will ruin all his hard work after his death. GUILTY PLEASURE.   apart from wine and good food, he loves being in love and then romanticising the whole thing (thus it’s safe to assume he is not entirely faithful). He much prefers diving into his philosophy and poetry and he has a passion for hunting (any sport actually) and horses! This boy grooms his horses himself. BIGGEST PET PEEVE.    interrupting him, someone talking to him in authoritative manner. He hates it when someone tells him what he can or cannot do. AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE.   PEACE. He just wants peace, no more problems in the state, some free time to chill at his villas with his friends, write his poetry verses, watch his children grow. Of course, continuing the Medici dynasty, ruling Florence indirectly, restore the bank to its previous glory. A man can have many dreams.

LAYER  THREE  :  THOUGHTS .

FIRST THOUGHTS UPON WAKING UP.    Pre-Pazzi conspiracy: what time is it, sexy time, his schedule.  Post-Pazzi conspiracy: his safety and that of his family’s, what shit he has to deal with today. Fucking Sixtus, god-damn him. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST.    Politics, Florence, day-dreaming about an easier life filled with poetry and with his brother by his side. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED.   Mostly about Florence and issues he is currently dealing with. He mentally goes through tomorrow’s schedule and considers every scenario possible so he may always be prepared. As years go by, he gets very depressed during night time, mourning still for his brother and his (and Florence’s) fate. WHAT YOUR BEST QUALITY IS.   Silver tongue. Charming level 200%, very skilled at most things, makes the best puns and lewd jokes ever.

LAYER  FOUR  :  WHAT’S  BETTER ?

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES.    he feels comfortable with both and can make either of them work. TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED.   considering he has received both in huge amounts from the day he was born he can’t really separate one from the other. Both is good. BEAUTY OR BRAINS.  he is weak for beauty but he values brains all the more. He is most attracted to beauty accompanied with a sharp mind. DOGS OR CATS.    Dogs all the way. He likes cat but prefers dogs.

LAYER  FIVE  :  DO  YOU …

LIE.    more often than he’d like. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.   a LOT. His confidence falters as he gets older though. BELIEVE IN LOVE.    oh certainly. He has a poet’s heart. WANT SOMEONE.    when doesn’t he?

LAYER  SIX  :  EVER  BEEN …

BEEN ON STAGE.   diplomatic stage? yes. Theatrical stage? only in modern verse! DONE DRUGS.    nah, he’s not into anything that might numb his mind. CHANGED WHO YOU WERE TO FIT IN.    he was shaped as a boy to a certain role. He was moulded to fit the type of the ideal Renaissance prince and ruler. He doesn’t really know who he’d be if he was given freedom to choose his own path.

LAYER  SEVEN  :  FAVORITES .

FAVOURITE COLOR.   blue or gold FAVOURITE ANIMAL.    horses all the way. He has an obsession. FAVOURITE FOOD.    he’s not a picky eater! Anything that tastes good! FAVOURITE GAME.   anything that spikes his competitiveness. Mainly sports.

LAYER  EIGHT  :  AGE .

DAY YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE.    JANUARY 1ST HOW OLD WILL YOU BE.    (verse dependent) DOES AGE MATTER.   certainly not, especially if you are the unofficial ruler of Florence at the age of 20.

LAYER  NINE  :  IN  A  PERSON .

BEST PERSONALITY.   someone loyal. Preferably with a clever wit and a favourable inclination to the arts. BEST EYE COLOUR.   he likes blue or green, though he’ll never openly admit it. BEST HAIR COLOUR.   he has a weakness for fair hair, but he’s chill. BEST THING TO DO WITH A PARTNER.   make 10 babies, lol. escape to a trip for the weekend, away from everyone, just the two of them.

LAYER  TEN  :  FINISH  THE  SENTENCE .

I LOVE.    my family. I FEEL.    daunted, exhausted, that the burden I carry is too heavy for my shoulders. I HIDE.    because I must not appear weak. I MISS.    my brother. I WISH.   Giuliano was still here. That I’d never have to go to war. That the children I lost would return to me. That Florence wouldn’t consume me so entirely I did not have a life of my own.

#| l. medici ➸ he promises that he has the knowledge of God —— ⊰ about ⊱ #i enjoyed doing this a lot!

[words-writ-in-starlight]

I hate you so much. As per our conversation, you absolute heathen: Borgias Star Wars AU Cesare as Leia Lucrezia as Luke Micheletto as Han Fucking go. I hate you so much.

This is the first of two Star Wars AUs, this one is mostly because I profoundly wanted an AU where Cesare was literally a prince of an entire planet and also I wanted Lucrezia to have a lightsaber.  I am currently working on another one for @wildehacked in which everyone is in the much more obvious position of being Sith.

Cesare doesn’t expect a rescue, as he sits inhis cell, back to the wall and one leg stretched out in front of him with theother bent close to his body.  Theceremonial robes of Alderaan are heavy, uncomfortable at the best of times andthese…these are not the best of times. Deep red cloth rubs against his skin, raw and tender from a few roundswith a torture droid, and he ignores it. He told them nothing—he has no profound alliance to the Rebellion, butthe image of the great and terrible Darth Sixtus wading through the endlessdunes of Dantooine had amused him, and after their young general turned theirweapon on Alderaan…

Well. Cesare is (was) hardly beloved of his people, raised by the stern andaustere Viceroy of Alderaan, della Rovere, but that was his planet, and afterit was gone, he denied the Empire information out of sheer spite.  It had been worth it, to see the toweringdark figure of Sixtus storm out of the room in a rage.

Still, though.  His planet is gone, and they didn’t lovetheir distant prince, and the Rebellion trusts him only on the weight of hisadopted guardian, who was well known in the right circles for his totallyruthless devotion to the cause.  Cesaresent away the information he had been told to care for with the droid, a PA-L0unit more willful than was good for it. It might make it to the Sforza woman della Rovere had intended it for,or it might not—either way, it is out of his hands.  The Rebellion won’t expend the manpower tosend a rescue mission, and the Empire has a new planet-killer to play with.  He’s confident he won’t live long enough tofind out whether PA-L0 made it or not.

It’s something of a surprise, then, whenalarms go off and his cell door opens to admit the shortest Stormtrooper he’sever seen.  

Cesare silently arches an eyebrow.  Princes grow up in the public eye, especiallyon bustling Core worlds like Alderaan, and Cesare prides himself on the abilityto show no response to any disaster. He’d had to cultivate it, after the second time he was caught withsomeone who, perhaps, should have been off-limits.

“Are you lost?” he asks dryly, and theStormtrooper reaches up to wrestle off their helmet, and Cesare’s mouth snapsshut in surprise.

It’s not the hard-faced man he expected.  Instead it’s a woman, a girl, really, with ayouthful face and hair like sunlight pinned up in a knot, and she smiles athim, perfect tiny teeth a string of matched pearls behind her pink lips.  She looks about his own age, maybeyounger.  There’s a sharp tug, like acord anchored somewhere in Cesare’s spine is pulling him toward her, and he hasthe sudden inexplicable urge to brush her hair back, the wayward coils of spungold escaping around her face.

“I’m Lucrezia Borgia,” she says, dimpling athim, and he tries to assemble words to reply. “I found your Paolo unit.  I’mhere to rescue you.”

Cesare has made worse snap decisions in hislife than take a rescue wearing the face of an angel, he concludes in under asecond.  They run.

They find another false Stormtrooper, andthis one is far more like what Cesare expected, a man with eyes like stone anda dispassionate expression under the smudged blood on his cheek.  Lucrezia calls him Micheletto, and Cesaresnatches a blaster off a dead Stormtrooper to toss at him.

“My lord,” Micheletto says with a slightincline of his head.

“This is Cesare della Rovere,” Lucrezia says,as if Micheletto doesn’t know who he is. “He gives your orders now.  Takeus back to the Condottiere, and we’llfind Caterina on the way.”

They do find Caterina.  Just in time to watch Sixtus cut herdown.  

“I knew her brother,” Lucrezia says coolly asthey crowd into the cockpit of Micheletto’s ship, the Condottiere.  It’s a bit of awreck, but he pilots it like a master, as skillfully as he had cut down anyStormtrooper in their path.  “He was anunpleasant man, to say the least.”  Shefingers the silver hilt at her hip—a lightsaber, she tells Cesare quietly, apparentlyonce the possession of her father.  “You’llforgive me if I don’t shed any tears over her corpse.”

“Of course,” Cesare says, and she smiles athim, and he takes it like a blaster bolt to the heart.

Some other highlights…

Lucrezia brings down the Death Star, her eyesclosed and her X-Wing guided by something at the center of her chest, somethingcold and bright as a Tatooine moon.  Whenshe lands, laughing and giddy with triumph, Cesare snatches her up around thewaist and spins her around, and he smiles at her, and she thinks idly aboutkissing it off his lips.  Michelettosmiles his faint smile and kisses her cheek like she’s a lady of status.  Lucrezia gets an award.  Micheletto, a killer and a criminal and abloody hand for hire, insists that he should not, and Cesare does not arguewith him.

Cesare finds the leader of the Rebellion, anex-Senator named Machiavelli, very much to his liking.  It is common knowledge that Machiavelli hassomething of an affection for the ex-Prince of Alderaan (it’s something Cesareasks himself often—is he still a prince at all, if he has no planet?), andCesare is not above leveraging this to his purposes.

Lucrezia kisses Cesare on Hoth, after shealmost dies in the cold, her skin still flushed from the incredibly hot showershe just took, and he clutches her to him like she’s as ethereal assunlight.  Her golden hair hangs aroundthem like a curtain, in her quarters, and the red lines her nails trace over hisshoulders and chest sting bright and clean, and Cesare thinks that he has neverloved someone like he loves this woman.

Cesare kisses Micheletto in an asteroidfield, during an argument, and again on Cloud City, where an old acquaintanceturns them over to Sixtus, and it’s harsh and bloodied and hungry.  They fuck in dark corners, still half-dressedand breathless, and Micheletto swears allegiance like he’s praying to a god,like Cesare is a force of nature, like Cesare is the Force.  Cesare leaves bruises shaped likefinger-lengths and the curve of his lips, and they’re still there whenMicheletto is frozen in carbonite by Darth Sixtus.

Lucrezia spends all of thirty secondstraining with a withered old Jedi named Orsini before she rushes away again,not even pausing at his warnings as she takes flight for Cloud City.  When she arrives, there are terriblerevelations about her family—Darth Sixtus, once Rodrigo Borgia, a power-hungrygeneral from the Clone Wars.  On the Condottiere, she cries into Cesare’sshoulder, her severed hand aching, and he kisses her tears away, her sunlight curls spilling over themboth.

Cesare saves Micheletto.  He does not care to be asked why he takessuch a risk for a man he professes to be a simple instrument.

Lucrezia, with a new silver hand like a piece of art, discovers that there is anotherBorgia—there was a third, an elder brother gone missing as a small child,before the Death Star was destroyed, but the young general died with his weaponand now there is only one.  Her twinbrother, Cesare Borgia, Prince of ex-Alderaan.

Cesare does not care.

#the borgias #cesare borgia #lucrezia borgia #micheletto #cesare x lucrezia #cesare x micheletto #let's be real this is one whole big messed up poly arrangement #in which two of the three people were already fucking when they discovered they were twins #asked and answered #my dear laurens #right so here's some details that didn't make it into the thing #lucrezia is raised by her big-sister-figure giulia farnese who was the handmaiden of senator vanozza #juan was the general and by default had to be older than cesare and lucrezia who by default are twins #giovanni doesn't exist #cesare got pawned off on della rovere because caterina was feeling vengeful #caterina is still high-key kind of a terrible person #micheletto is not a lovable rogue he is still very much an assassin and a murderer and basically cesare could tell him to cut his own throat #and he'd do it #so like micheletto is still exactly canon #idk probably cesare pulls a cannon stunt and steals the death star plans and he and machiavelli convince some people they're building one #a planet killer of their very own #and also rodrigo is just kind of a power hungry motherfucker like he's not a tragedy here #vanozza is a tragedy vanozza has been conned and then murdered but rodrigo pretty much got what he wanted #except he also wanted his kids with him and to have all his limbs #let this be a lesson to you everyone if you go dark side you get everything you want except for your limbs #honestly everyone is still kind of a terrible person except for lucrezia who...well #lucrezia is still fucking her brother and has definitely killed a few people for revenge but the war's a lot shorter with them in charge #so idk where she falls on the terribleness scale #moran writes stuff

[zephfair]

DVD ficlet meme fill Leo/Riario

For @idriseleven There is no way I can apologize for taking so long to fill the meme prompt you gave me back in October. I am ashamed.

And on top of that, I changed up the prompt--I AM A HORRIBLE FRIEND AND I AM VERY SORRY! Please punish me however you see fit! <3

@idriseleven​ asked for: Oh please oh please do one of your crack/fluff fics of DVD as the high school popular kid and nerd. Anybody you want. I'm interested in which of those nerds you imagine was the popular kid!

*The answer is: THEY'RE ALL NERDS

Originally, I envisioned Riario as the religious geek with Zita, Leo as the art geek, Zo as the kid who smokes and hustles, Nico as the under-underclassman who follows Leo around, Vanessa as the theater geek, Lorenzo and Giuliano as the athletic jocks, Lucrezia the cheerleader, Clarice the valedictorian.

But then I got a crazy idea for a Footloose parody and my TiVo actually recorded it the other week and let's just say I took it as a sign from the universe that a DVD/Footloose fusion should exist. I’m sorry; blame the TiVo.

If you’ve never seen that movie, it is still fun! And full of fun 1980s pop songs!

Leo slammed down the tray on the cafeteria table and nudged close to Zo’s chair. “So when are we leaving?”

“Leaving?” Zo said through a mouthful of unidentifiable chicken product.

“I told you, we’re going dancing tonight in—”

“Keep your voice down,” Zo hissed and cuffed the back of Leo’s head. “Do you want to get us both in trouble?”

“This place is bullshit. This entire school is bullshit. This insufferable county is bullshit. All of it—”

“Is bullshit,” Zo agreed. “But it doesn’t change the fact that we can get suspended and punished if you keep talking about partaking in illegal activities.”

“I still cannot believe that dancing and music is outlawed in this ridiculous fucking county.”

“Well, as long as our ‘leader,’” Zo made the air quotes, “is that prick Sixtus, and he runs the church and the town council and owns the sheriff’s department and county judges, well, we’re all fucked.”

Leo scrubbed at his face with impatient hands. “I’ll never forgive my father for making us move to this shithole full of closed-minded assholes.”

Zo mock-toasted him with a can of soda. “Cheers, mate.”

“Not you, Zo, you’re one of the few in this place who can see the real world and who wants to escape. And believe me, Zo, as soon as we graduate, we are out of here so fast, we’ll leave scorch marks.” Zo laughed bitterly but Leo went on, “If there were only something we could do to make it more tolerable for now. If there was some way to stick it to that sick fuck Sixtus.”

Then Leo’s gaze fell on his answer. He asked Zo slowly, “Can you introduce me to Girolamo Riario?”

Zo almost choked on the soda. “Oh no. No. No, no, no. First of all, I cannot introduce you because Riario fucking hates me. You fill his car with cow shit one time, and he threatens to kill you. And holds a grudge. And second, I would not introduce you even if he didn’t have a restraining order against me because you meeting him would be like,” Zo’s arms flailed wildly, “throwing a cigarette into gasoline. Boom!”

“Actually,” Leo said distractedly, still watching the young man across the room, “there is a very good chance that the cigarette would not, in fact, ignite the gasoline because it’s the fumes that typically—”

“Don’t get all technical with me,” Zo snapped. “You know exactly what I’m trying to say. Mixing you and Riario is just asking for certain doom. You’d lose your temper, he’d threaten you, and next thing you know, you’re in jail and he’s still Sixtus’ favorite little nephew, lording it over us all.”

“Yes, but if, if he doesn’t, well, then, maybe he’s the one who could change it all.”

Zo groaned and let his head fall onto the table. “We just have to make it through two more months. Two months! Can’t you wait that long?!”

“No,” Leo said briskly. “Now, help me come up with a plan to run into Riario.”

********

Zo found, to his horror, that Leo meant that quite literally and backed his decrepit VW Beetle directly into the passenger side of Riario’s sleek black Mustang.

Leo jumped out, hands spread apologetically, and went into a prepared speech about how he hadn’t seen the car and he’d happily pay for the damages. Riario stood there, trademark sunglasses on, clearly disbelieving every word.

“Aren’t you the one who transferred in halfway through our senior year?” he said finally, stopping Leo’s fulsome apologies.

“Yeah, I’m Leo.”

“I doubt you even have enough money to cover the cost of repairs,” Riario said bluntly. “Just forget it.”

Zo instinctively ducked, even from the safety of the passenger’s seat of Leo’s Bug. He saw Leo grit his teeth and try to be charming. For once.

“No, no this was totally my fault, and the very least I can do is to take care of it. And I’d love to do something extra, for you. How about I take you to dinner tonight?”

Riario bit off a little smile but only inclined his head. “There is no need. And no, I have plans.”

“Some other time, then?” Leo called after him, but Riario got back into his car and took off with a rev of the engine.

“What the fuck are you trying to do?” Zo asked when Leo got back into the Bug.

“I’m going to turn him to our side. And then maybe he can influence his uncle to change some of the rules around here.”

“This is only going to go one way—badly,” Zo told him, but Leo grinned as they took off, the Bug’s loose back bumper casting sparks as it dragged along the road.

*******

Leo began a campaign to “just happen” to be everywhere Riario might be at the same time. He bumped into him between classes. He couldn’t manhandle a lunch seat at the “popular table,” as Zo called it, but he did bribe an underclassmen to let him squeeze into a seat behind Riario, where he could still occasionally drop things and initiate conversation.

Zo watched Leo pursue Riario after school, but the Mustang left them in the dust on winding country roads when the Beetle couldn’t keep up. And Leo claimed that his stakeouts of the house showed Riario often didn’t come home until late, sometimes right at the town’s curfew.

Leo even cleaned up and attended church like the rest of the county who at least turned out to present themselves to Sixtus. Zo gave up trying to elbow him awake about five minutes into the sermon and enjoyed a nap himself.

But Riario stood firm against Leo’s advances. Zo was only surprised that he hadn’t taken legal action to stop Leo.

******

It all changed the evening Leo was sitting outside the drive-in diner and Riario pulled up. Normally, he was surrounded by a collection of various teens important to the local community—the Medici brothers who were venerated as jocks and whose family was in local government; Clarice who was dating a Medici but better known as the class valedictorian; Alfonso who was a dumb jock but an even bigger asshole bully than the Medicis; and Lucrezia, a relative of Riario’s who had a certain reputation. Leo had first thought about using her to get close to Riario, and she had shown some interest in him, but he recognized the haunted look in her eyes. She had been used and used every wile at her disposal to make it so far, and Leo was positive that she would be joining him and Zo in the mass exodus out of town as soon as she was able. He didn’t want to add to her nightmares.

So when Riario ordered food to-go, all alone, Leo followed him without a second thought. There was no way that Riario didn’t notice the VW’s lights, but Leo tried to hang back enough so it wasn’t completely noticeable. He missed him once, when Riario took a turn that Leo didn’t see until he was past, but he backed up and followed, heart beating quickly, wondering if Riario was leading him into a trap.

He pulled up to an abandoned rail car, gravel crunching under the tires, and parked next to Riario’s empty Mustang. Leo was wary of walking into the rail car, wondering if he were being set-up for something, but he finally did and found Riario sitting on the floor alone.

“You’ve found me,” Riario said.

“You haven’t made it easy,” Leo said, remaining standing.

Riario didn’t seem to care about the posturing. “I thought I would make it easier and get this confrontation over with. What do you want from me?”

“What makes you think I want anything?” Leo retorted automatically.

Riario sighed. “Because every single person who approaches me wants something. Whether it’s a favor from my uncle, a good word put in, or just the prestige of claiming to have me as a friend, everyone wants something.”

“That’s incredibly cynical of you,” Leo said, finally sitting down next to him. “But also remarkably perceptive.”

Riario smiled his mirthless little smile. “So what is it that you want from me?”

“I wanted a way to get at your uncle and somehow make him relax some of the ridiculous rules that surround this town,” Leo admitted to the quirk of Riario’s lips again. “I wanted freedom of speech and the freedom to listen to whatever music we want, and I even wanted to advocate for a prom. With dancing.”

Riario bent his head back and laughed.

“But now,” Leo went on and leaned closer, “there is something I want much more than that.”

“And what, exactly, would that be?” Riario’s quiet voice was a whisper across Leo’s lips.

“I just want you,” Leo said, closing the distance and kissing him.

*****

Leo didn’t know what to expect: maybe Riario’s friends bursting into the rail car and beating the shit out of him, maybe Riario pulling away then beating the shit out of him, maybe Zo slapping him awake in the middle of another interminable church service.

But he never would have expected Riario to open his mouth to him, to reach up and pull him closer, to card his fingers through Leo’s short hair and wrap a strong arm around his back. Leo melted into him, and when Riario tugged him to crawl over him, Leo went willingly.

******

“So,” Leo said sometime later while he smoked one of his forbidden cigarettes, “it looks like we have way bigger issues than getting your uncle to agree to a prom dance. I’m sure that premarital sex—especially between two males—will upset him even more.”

Riario paused in buttoning his shirt. “Actually, haven’t you heard the old school joke?” When Leo shook his head, Riario said, “Do you know why premarital sex is banned in the school? Because it might lead to dancing.”

“Oh that’s bad,” Leo said, but he chuckled anyway.

“Why do you want to hold a traditional prom? You don’t seem like the type who would even want to attend one.”

Leo shrugged. “Normally, no. But here, in this hellhole, it seemed like the best way to make your uncle rage out. While some of the students might actually enjoy it. Imagine what a romantic time: their first night listening to rock’n’roll and slow dancing in the gym. What’s not to love?”

“You have a strange definition of romance.”

“It’s a rite of passage for high school students. And since you deprived children have never had the privilege, I feel it is very important for me to spearhead this effort and make sure that we have the best, most stereotypical prom of any high school ever. And afterward,” Leo waggled his eyebrows at Riario, “there is the traditional deflowering.”

Riario rolled his eyes then leaned up to bite Leo’s bottom lip. “I believe we already took care of that.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure there’s more … gardening that can be done,” Leo said lamely as Riario kissed him firmly.

“And you want me to help you do this all behind the backs of my uncle, the school and the other leaders in town?”

“Yeah.”

Riario pulled away for a moment and looked into Leo’s eyes. “Fine. We’ll try. But only if you repay me in various sinful, immoral and totally inappropriate ways,” he said, running his hand up the inseam of Leo’s jeans.

“I can totally do that,” and Leo tackled him.

*******

After many devious schemes and near-misses and nail-biting tension, the outcasts like Zo and Leo banded together with the Medicis and other popular students to provide a prom like the world had never seen.

And Leo and Riario were voted prom kings and got to slow-dance in the spotlight in their matching rented tuxes with purple cummerbunds. Leo still had some of the pollen in his hair from where Riario had beaten him about the head with the orchid corsage Leo had tried to slip onto his wrist. Riario made it up to him by kissing him and groping his ass right in front of the entire senior class, and the town council assured each other that Sixtus was only spending the night in the hospital as a precaution because what were the chances he’d had a heart attack at exactly that moment.

And all the kids who wanted to leave town did and lived mostly happily ever after playing any music and dancing all they wanted.

#my fic #leo/riario #the footloose au no one wanted #da vinci's demons