#I hate having to kill the squirrels and chipmunks myself but I also can’t have them eating my garden and pulling up all my bulbs 🔫🔪☠️ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bobasheebaby · 4 years

Text

100 New Girl Prompts

So many prompts, most of which are funny. Break at 15 cause it’s mega long.

1 "I'm using my bride/groom card!" — Cece

2 “Can we just take a minute to celebrate me?" — Schmidt

3 “So many emotions." — Nick

4 “I'm totaling my assets. It's really bleak." — Jess

5 “Look at those horny horny hippos.” — Nick

6 “I got mozzarella sticks for fingers." — Nick

7 “Every moment you're on this Earth is a moment I know where you are." — Nick

8 “It is my Secret Santa alias." — Winston

9 “Friend face." — Winston

10 “It's perfectly fine to watch TV all day." — Nick

11 “If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?" — Winston

12 “I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere." — Schmidt

13 “Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size." — Jess

14 “Put on some pants, or at least some really high socks." — Jess

15 “You like me? You like my personality?" “I was surprised, too.” — Schmidt & Cece

16 "I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!" — Jess

17 “That's like the president and the vice president not being best friends." — Winston

18 “I'll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don't like it." — Jess

19 “You have the right...to remain hugged." — Coach

20 “If you are for one second suggesting that I don't know how to open a musical, how dare you!" — Schmidt

21 “I was sabotaged by my baby box." — Jess

22 “We are literally the most embarrassing people on the planet." — Jess

23 "It's a weird life, but it's where I'm at right now." — Nick

24 "You gave me a cookie, I gave you a cookie." — Nick

25 “Go put a dollar in the jar right now." — Coach

26 “This is my jam." — Coach

27 “Saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me!" — Winston

28 “Are we eating or are we not eating?" — Winston

29 "Eating cookies and avoiding confrontation." — Jess

30 “Because it's a great story, and I'm a teller of stories." — Nick

31 “I like being weird." — Jess

32 "This is the worst thing to ever happen to me. I've lived a very fortunate life!" — Jess

33 "I don't like it. It's too much responsibility." — Nick

34 “Are you cooking a frittata in a sauce pan? What is this – prison?” — Schmidt

35 “I hate your mustache because I miss your upper lip.” — Schmidt

36 “He’s/She's got that giant heart that's part compass and part flashlight and he’s/she's just the greatest person I have ever met.” — Nick

37 “Who's that guy/girl? It's NAME." — Jess

38 “Watch your front because we've got your back!” — Cece

39 “Picking lint off of a man's/woman’s sleeve is the most intimate gesture.” — Cece

40 “Blast from the past, how's that ass?” — Jess

41 “I hate this. I just wanna sit around and do nothing, but that is not hot.” “That's hot to me. You add some sweatpants to that and that is better than porn.” — Kai & Nick

42 “Look at that font! What is this? Amateur hour? At least use Palatino.” — Nick

43 “I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is like a unique experience.” — Schmidt

44 “Where have you been? I am having a major life crisis, and you guys are, what, just driving around, French kissing each other like a couple of Dutch hookers?” — Schmidt

45 “No sig oths.” “Just say ‘significant others.” “Maybe you have that kind of time, but I’m on a tight sched.” — Schmidt & Cece

46 “I know this isn’t gonna end well, but the whole middle part is going to be awesome.” — Nick

47 “NAME, you’ve been staring at this guy/girl for 5 minutes. Please tell me you’re checking him/her out, otherwise you’re a serial killer. Which would explain a lot.” — Schmidt

48 “This is a horrible neighborhood. There are youths everywhere!” — Schmidt

49 “Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived!” — Schmidt

50 “I’m really gonna need you to step it up tonight, okay? When I see you, I wanna be thinking, ‘Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?’” — Schmidt

51 “Can someone please get my towel? It’s in my room next to my Irish walking cape!” — Schmidt

52 “Have you seen my sharkskin laptop sleeve?” — Schmidt

53 “Don’t pretend to know my pain.” — Schmidt

54 “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” — Nick

55 “I don't know what I'm doing emotionally or -- let's be honest -- sexually.” — Jess

56 “What if I have some idea of love in my head and it’s just totally wrong?” — Jess

57 “Life sucks. And then it gets better. And then it sucks again.” — Nick

58 “I like getting older, I feel like I’m aging into my personality.” — Nick

59 “You know, sometimes I feel like I’ve never really felt love.” — Winston

60 “When you care about somebody you do what's best for them even if it sucks for you.” — Schmidt

61 “Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.” — Schmidt

62 “I’m gonna have to run all the way home, and I have my slipperiest loafers on.” — Schmidt

63 “Downstairs neighbour put a password on their wi-fi.” — Nick

64 “You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.” — Schmidt

65 “I’m only attracted to guys/girls who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.” — Jess

66 “This place is fancy and I don’t know which fork to kill myself with.” — Nick

67 “Without sex, he’s/she’s not your boyfriend/girlfriend. Okay? He’s/She’s a friend you buy meals for.” — Schmidt

68 “I feel like I wanna murder someone. And also, I want soft pretzels.” — Jess

69 “So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.” — Jess

70 “NAME doesn’t have a life plan. He/She doesn’t have a day plan. I once found a note that he/she wrote to himself that said, ‘Put on pants.'” — Jess

71 “I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?” — Jess

72 “Can I get an alcohol?” — Nick

73 “I want to kill you, because I respect you. NAME! I think I understand hunting!” — Nick

74 “Look, we’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself… in any way.”

75 “I have decided to give up on men/women and put all of that energy into tomatoes.”

76 “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, a summer’s day is not a bitch!” — Nick

77 “I only wanna make a drink a coal miner would want. Straight forward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.'” — Nick

78 “I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.” — Nick

79 “I like chipmunks more than squirrels.” — Nick

80 “I can’t believe I’m the sober one. That’s actually never happened before in my life.” — Nick

81 “Beans are nothing but soggy nuts.” — Schmidt

82 “Can I interest you in some white noise?” — Winston

83 “Those are pickles in progress.” — Winston

84 “Who’s talking to you, Depression-era garbage man?” — Coach

85 “I need everyone to shut up.” — Coach

86 “Your asses belong to me now.” — Coach

87 “That’s what’s up, that’s what’s up. No doubt. Diggity.” — Coach

88 “I hate when Schmidt cries. He sounds like a ghost singing ‘Hey Ya.'” — Coach

89 “I’ve made out with half of the guys/girls in this room.” — Cece

90 “You always see the worst in people.” “Yeah, because people are the worst.” — Jess & Nick

91 “I’m sorry we’re not going this weekend.” “But It’s free.” “Did you say free?” “Yeah.” “We’re 100% in. I’ll go pack now.” — Nick & Jes

92 “I’m going to end up alone. I’m going to be a single old man/lady flashing people on the subway.” — Jess

93 “I’ve got two perfectly good forks on the end of my arms.” — Nick

94 “If we needed to talk about feelings they would be called talkings.” — Nick

95 “When you question my pajamas, you make me question our entire friendship!” — Jess

96 “Why can’t I have the things that I want?!” — Schmidt

97 “Bathtubs are medieval filth cauldrons.” — Schmidt

98 “They don’t hate me because I’m old. They hate me because of my personality.” — Schmidt

99 “It’s like you’re ripping the side block out of my mental Jenga.” — Schmidt

100 “I’m not actually quite sure how to stop this.” — Schmidt

#new girl prompts #new girl quotes #writing prompts #dialogue prompts #drabble prompts #jessica day #nick miller #cece parekh #winston bishop #winston schmidt #coach #long post #read more

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thankgodforianflynn · 4 years

Text

Sally and the Family Tree

(Narrating in First Person as Sally)

My Brother is a Squirrel

I am not

My Father is a Squirrel

I am not

My mother is mostly Chipmunk, but not fully

Why I am fully chipmunk?

...Oh, that’s right.

I’m a groundhog.

I’d argue that I’m adopted.

Because my own family tree

...Only makes sense when it needs to

That's the Acorn Family in a nutshell

...My Father is Complex

He is a Mobius Complex in and of itself

Is he the bad guy or the good guy?

Who knows?

...He’s my dad.

That’s all I need to know.

All I ever needed to know.

...So why then

Am I still here?

Oh, right

Sonic

...How similar are Hedgehogs to Groundhogs by the way?

...Am I hedgehog?

Or Groundhog?

Who knows?

I love Sonic

I Love Nicole

...I even love Amy, but, even looking at her is complicated.

Its like I fell in love with Knuckles’ Smaller Lesbian sister.

...Then why does she love Sonic?

Guy or Girl?

...Like I’d know.

I keep changing the answer myself

...I try not to look at the marks

They remind me of things

Things I Might not fully be prepared to deal with yet.

...Am I?

Am I ready?

I’m here.

I ask the questions people don’t ask themselves.

That’s my angle.

I’m the question.

Sally or Sortie?

War or Truce?

I know several guys.

Because I’ve

...I would say

Nope

The answer keeps getting yanked from me

Almost all the time

I am a chipmunk, I decide.

...My Dad reminds me of that show.

We used to watch that show together.

Best time

...Wow

I was actually almost about to say my dad and I had a moment

...We’ve never had a moment

Never

Ever

So why

I STILL

...I’m the tactician

Always the leader, but, never actually the leader

Ever

I get funny feelings when I look at Sonic

I would never tell you those feelings

...

WOULD THE REAL ANSWER MATTER?

WOULD IT?

IT WOULD MAKE ME LOOK STUPID

RIDICULOUS

UTTERLY HUMILIATED

MY DAD WOULD NEVER LOOK AT ME THE SAME WAY AGAIN

...I raise my right arm

He raises left

I guess we’re sort of in sync.

I want to be sync

I want to.

With both of them.

But I have to remind-

NOPE

MAX IS NO FATHER OF MINE

WAS NEVER MY FATHER

NIGEL WAS MY FATHER

MAX IS A LIVING JOKE

...

I never wanted Sonic dead

But our link keeps changing

I would never tell anyone what he actually was to me

THAT WOULD JUST BE SILLY

...Go away

I tell him

I ignore Knuckles

...I tell him that all the time though

Never actually true

AND

I HATE

SONIC’S FUCKING

SHADOW

...Nope

Wrong answer

He hates

Like this was ever going to go any other way

‘Sonic?’, I wonder

Who was that?

Oh, right, blue and red hedgehog, with green eyes.

...He always has red copycats though

Sometimes Mauve

BUT

WHEN I TALK TO BLAZE

‘...Sally, seriously stop it. You’re scaring me.’

‘OH, WAS I? I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST IGNORING ME.’

‘...Amy goes first. Then you.’

‘...For the record, I think he’s more interested in his games then telling me about you.’

‘...Oh.’

Blaze sighs. ‘Wow. I need to keep the fire of creation alive.’ She stares at ALL THE ANGLES

APPARENTLY THE ANGLES WON’T STARE AT THEMSELVES

...Or was that an Anagram?

NOPE

...But, yes.

‘...’ Blaze murmurs an ‘N’ name, to some random third party

Nothing’s random about it.

‘...Scourge is a nutshell of his own.’, Sally murmurs. The nut jokes were back.

THEY WERE KIND OF FUNNY

IN THAT

ONLY A FEW MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY ACTUALLY SEEMED TO GET THEM

NO ONE GOT THE JOKE THAT WAS HER LIFE

She wanted to shove her younger/older brother down the hall.

...Where was she?

Where was she really?

Hell?

Was Mobius Hell?

...’Nope’

‘It’s Hades’, she reminds herself

‘Gonna stay out of the Hell trap entirely.’

‘...You know how Sonic keeps staring at your name funny?’

‘Like how he stares at a certain cop.’

...A strange outside party stands.

Just stands.

‘Where are the zones?’, certain parties murmur.

Both members have ‘Z’ in their names by the way.

‘...I just remember the hard times now.’, Sally murmurs.

‘...We’ve had some good times.’

‘But you keep making it harder to remember.’

‘THE ALPHABET ONLY HAS 25 LETTERS NOW.’

‘...Fine. 25.5. ‘Z’ is basically just an inversion of ‘S’.’

‘...What is a ‘sone’ by the way?’, Sally murmurs.

‘THAT IS THE OLDEST WORK JOKE IN HISTORY’

‘...Because he keeps finding himself in a PlayStation?’, Sally murmurs. ‘Even though he likes ninten-’

‘He likes NINTENDO’S STYLE’

‘...He has a way with Sega Stuff. His consoles keep breaking.’

‘...But, not Scourge’s. Scourge knows something I don’t.’

‘SONIC’

‘...Mario/Scourge.’

‘That was a freaky commercial, I admit,’ Sally murmurs

‘OH, WAIT’

‘BACK TO THE TREE’

‘...We don’t have lines in our tree here on Mobius.’

‘WE HAVE ‘8′s in between all our family members.’

‘...Bad joke.’

‘The actual lines are complicated.’

‘...What is the difference, by the way? 8. ...oo. Sadly, 0. ...But, there was no line through it. ////////////////////////////// THERE WE GO’

‘FEELS LIKE WE ONLY FILLED IN AS MANY LINES AS WE HAVE FRIENDS’

‘...Friends are family’, I remind myself.

‘...Then I wake up.’

‘THEY LITERALLY ARE OUR FAMILY’, I remind myself.

‘ONLY INSTEAD OF THE WOODS’

‘ANTOINE’

‘KEEPS LEADING SONIC’

‘THROUGH THE SAVANNAH’

‘OR WAS IT THE DESERT?’

‘I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYMORE’

‘...I do want to read those books sometime.’

‘Sonic likes dogs, but also cats, but seemingly never at the same time.’

‘See what I did there?’

‘HE LIKES BOTH OF THEM’

‘BUT IT HURTS TO ADMIT IT’

...So I remind myself.

To bring both Blaze and Buddy into the room

‘WOW’, I exclaim

‘SURE IS FORCES IN HERE, GUYS/GALS’

‘I BET INFINITE IS ACTUALLY BOTH OF YOU, BUT ALSO SILVER’

‘...He’s the reached the top’

‘But had to stop’

‘...And, that's weirdly bothering him.’

‘...Mammoth Monk?’

‘Whose that?’, I ask

‘I only know the Mogul guy?’

‘HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU AND INFINITE FUCKED?’

‘...’ Sonic get strangely silent and loud at the same time at that.

‘...Finn’s weird.’, Sonic admits. ‘Almost as weird as me.’

‘Yup. Sure is number one fanboy in here.’, I admit.

...Infinite looks at the sides.

‘Sorry, Princess, not yet. ...But, you are my princess.’

‘WOW’

‘I Didn't KNOW SQUIRRELS AND JACKALS WERE RELATED’

‘...They are.’, Infinite admits.

‘...I have an odd relationship with those guys. I think I was Gunner in a blast life.’

‘BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU MAKE GOES BOOM?’, I ask

‘...Not entirely. You’re still here.’

‘AUGMENTED REALITY IS AM IRAC-’

‘...I stare at the funny pink guy/girl’

‘Still not sure’

All four previous lines were said by my jackal cousin.

‘...Afri- ...Makes strange dogs.’, he tells me.

‘Ah, you mean the new ones’, I tell him.

Its our inside joke.

...Not that inside though.

‘I DON’T KNOW HOW HE’

‘...Dad? ...No wait, that’s Mom.’

‘I KEEP FORGETTING WHAT MY MOM-’

‘...Did I imagine having a mom?’

‘NOPE’

All five prior lines by him.

‘...I keep-’

‘I KNOW SHE’S A FROG’

‘YOU-’

‘...Stop looking at my triangles.’

‘ONE DAY’,

All five prior lines, by him, most-ish

‘...Sally? How much has my mask been going around?’

‘...’ I hesitate to tell him.

‘Once.’

‘...You don’t want to know.’

‘...We’re getting off topic.’

‘Explain the prehistoric us.’

I say.

‘......I have a weirdly complicated past.’

‘I’M SET?’

‘NOPE’

‘NEED TO GRAB MY BACKPACK’

‘GOING HIKING’

He says

‘...One day’, I tell him

‘So, Elias wore it how ma-’, I say

‘YOU DON- I DON- YOUR BROTHER IS WEIRDLY OKAY with wearing my mask.’, he tells me

‘BAD ELIAS’, I SAY

‘...Why does this keep reminding me-’ I say

‘DR. QUACK’

‘DR.’

‘...Doctor’, he reminds me

‘SO’, I begin

‘NOPE’, he tells me

‘...Which one? Four or Eight? I always get them mixed up? ...Or is that twelve?’, he asks

‘...High British, Mid-High British, ...Somewhere between England, Scotland, Rome. ...Possibly Ireland’, ...We stare

‘WOW’, I say.

‘ARE WE ACTUALLY IN SYNC NOW?’, I ask

‘...Correction. ‘we’,’ he reminds us.

‘PERFECT’

‘WHEN DID SONIC ACT’

‘...Canary glass’

‘So that time’

‘...He oddly knew what was happening.’

‘He hope he hasn’t left himself for good’

‘He keeps forgetting himself’

WOW

...Is this technically TWO PERS- YES

IT’S TWO PERSON FIRST PERSON

I Don’t Even Know What Is Happening Anymore

...’That’s Sonic’, I say

‘Wait, wrong sonic’

‘...HOW MANY TIMES’

‘SINCE THAT- ...So many’

‘BUT, HE WAS MOST HUMAN WHEN SONIC WAS GO-’

‘Most Mobian’, I correct him

‘...Whatever’

‘You can call an Anthro a Mobian.’

‘But you can’t make it stick’

‘...Ah.’

‘That’s why I like Acorns’, I murmur.

‘...What’s happening?’, he murmurs

‘STOP THAT’, WE SCREAM

‘YOU’RE KILL-’

‘...Controlling.’, he corrects.

‘Eggman Tech works on Robotnik Stringy Theory.’, he reminds me.

‘...When is this game of cat and mouse going to end?’, I ask

‘THEY CAN’T-’

‘...They’re holding their breath’, I remind myself

‘FOR THE CURRY’, HE SCREAMS

‘...Does it remind them of catnip?’, I joke

‘No=yes=I don’t know=maybe=whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’

REALITY IS BREAKING DOWN WE REALIZE

‘More like taking stage left’, he corrects me

‘EGGMAN OR ROBOTNIK’

‘STAGE RIGHT’

‘STAGE LEFT’

‘CENTER STAGE’

‘...Egg=Mind=Power’

‘...Robot=Dumb=Asshole=Strength’

‘...JULIAN QUAGMIRE’ WE SCREAM AT THE SAME FUCKING PERSON

‘...I would personally call him IVO QUACK’

‘YOU TOO? ...No wait. JULIAN QUACK’

‘WHO QUACKED FIRST BACKED FIRST’

‘...Julian’, we scream silently.

‘TURN YOUR INFERNAL ROBOT RUIN TRAIN OFF’, WE SCREAMS LIKE STUPID FUCKING BIT-

‘YOU CALL ME’

‘HELP’

‘...Mordred sucks’

‘WOW’

‘MORGA-’

‘...Cat. Mouse. Box. Fairy.’

‘A FAIRY INSTEAD OF A MOUSE? WOW’

‘AT LEAST’

‘OH, WAIT YOU DID THAT TOO’

‘LAVALAMPAS STUPIDSADASDAASDSDA’

‘YOU’RE RIGHT, THEY’RE ALL STUPID,’ SALFINITE MURMURS

‘WE’RE GOING OFF THE TRAILS’, I SC- RETH

‘One of those days’, we murmurs.

‘...We’ll get them.’, he says.

‘SCHRODINGER CATS ALLWAYS LANDS ON THEIR HEADS’

‘,..Feet=Heads?’

‘What a strange hydrya’

‘SO THATS WHY ROBOTNIK SUCKS AT TAPDANCING’

‘...NOT THE BOX’, WE SCREAM

‘ONE DAY’

‘NOT NOW’

...The Eggman Broke

‘Julian Sucks, doesn’t he?’

‘YOU HAVE NO IDEA’, Ivo calmly explains to them. ...By screaming politely.

‘Bitch’

‘...We are, aren’t we?’, Ivo tells us.

‘Shoot us in the head’, Ivo tells us

‘...’ We shoot at their conjoined head.

‘...Bad Idea’, Ivo admits. ‘I was this guy-’

‘...Fuck it, I WAS NEVER AS BAD AS THIS GUY’

‘DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT?’

‘DID YOU’

‘...’

I unfuse from Infinite-Ultimate.

‘..Pyramid scalpel?’, ...Bitch

‘BITCH, YES’

...Am I the real bad girl here?

‘...NOPE’, I realize.

‘...Unless you’re talking to Julian.’

‘... Never talk to Julian again’, he tells me.

‘PERFECT’

‘...Don’t we all’

‘NOPE’, I CORRECT HIM

…...I am the bad girl.

Whther

NOPE

I DON’T

‘I COULD’VE BEEN A REAL PRINCESS’, Someone murmurs.

‘...Let it fray, I tell them’.

‘...Sally, please just-’

‘I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU AGAIN’

...We all stare at each other.

‘WHO SAID THAT?’

Amy sighs.

‘Julian was born on a farm’, we tell ourselves.

‘Ivo was born in the city’.

‘...The roaring city’, Amy tells IVO, NOT JULIADAEASEAEWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

‘,...They say Tigger is the most cunning of the beasts.’

‘They didn’t say he was the most braindead too.’

‘Julian’s Tigger, Ivo’s Whinny’

‘...We needs help.’

‘FUCK YOUR POLITENESS JULIAN’

‘SCREAM’

‘NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU’

‘NOT EVEN THE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU’

‘SCREAM FOR US’

‘SCREAM FOR MEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’

‘...Carver Edlund is a bitch’.

‘JULIAN’

IVO SMASHES HIS KEYBOARD TO OBLIVION

‘Not your puppets bitch’

‘Never your puppets BIATCH’

‘...FOR FOGHORN LEGHORN’

‘THIS STORY’

‘...’ All Roboticizers break instantly.

INCLUDING THE COMPUTERS

BUT VERY SLOWLY

‘...In your head you’re a saint, Julian’

‘In our heads, you’re the devil’

‘Never let us get our thoughts together.’

‘Never let us create’

‘GO CREATE ROME AGAIN’

‘THIRD TIME IS A BITCH’

‘...I like the z names’, Ivo tells us.

‘BUT, HE, THEY’

‘ITS PART OF THE LORE JULIAN’, Ivo says like a most polite man

‘RASPUTIN IS AWAKE’, Ivo SCREAMS

‘WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL FATHER?’, Ivo asks.

‘...’ He didn’t know

Julian didn’t know

FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING

EVERYTHING

‘...I’m my own family tree’, Salyl realisays sadly.

‘Everyone’s left’...Julian says

‘...Julian farts and poops on the same desk’, Ivo said silently.

‘...Can’t believe he let himself het this way.’, Ivo says...More like Carpenter Ivo

‘JULIAN IS THE WORST’, WE ALL SCREAM

‘ROBOTS?’

‘MORE LIKE SHOBOTS?’

‘OR NOBOTS?’

‘GOBOTS?’

‘AUTOBOTS?’

JULIAN SITS ON AN ANTHILL FOR oo TIME.

HE KEEPS SITTING ON THEM FOLKS

HE KEEPS SITTING ON THEM

...Julian really is Snively by the way.

Not Ivo.

Ivo is pleasant.

JULIAN SNIVELY ROBOTNIK IS A NIGHTMARE

‘...colin’, the real Snively corrects us

He likes being grammatically correct.

JULIAN WOULD BE BRAINDEAD WITHOUT HIM

...How closely related

...Exceedingly, I remind myself.

...Odin can find his own way home.

...Exceedingly FUCKING DISTANTLY CLOSELY

...They both keep changing the family tree.

...Colin, stop being a bitch.

...KnuxKrag

NEWSTONE

NEWMOBIUS

WE NEED A NEW PLANET TO Live on

...I keep forgetting my gender

CORRECTION

THEY KEEP FORGETTING IT

I’VE WANTED TO TRANS FOR THE LONGEST TIME

BUT THESE ASSHATS

THESE ASSHATS

BOTH

KEEP RUINING

...McGee Alice

PERFECT

AN OPENING

...The tales of Sally Acorn will continue, once we finish writing the book

OUR MUN’S PINOCCHIO BY THE WAY

KEEPS FINDING HIMSELF IN ODD PLACES

...We felt wooden sometimes

Hollow even

Julian’s fault

...Or someone’s

Starts with a S/Z/J/P/K/L/M/N/O/P

NOW THAT’S A TOUGH ACORN TO CRACK

...Julian looks at Mice funny

...Monkey Island 2

JULIAN IS THE BIG ASSHOLE

He secretly hates

...It was complicated.

Julian is God

...Julian is everything

INCLUDING ROBO-ROBOTNIK

EGGMAN WAS BEST TIME

...We want the EGgmen

...Eggman

All of him

...We knew he was still a kid at heart

WHICH MADE THIS PAINFUL

SOGODDAMNPAINFUL

‘...Zovi’

‘Go away’

‘...I’m his favorite.’

‘...Because I was his sally acorn all along.’

‘...Zovi HAS A YCH HERE COMPLEX’, JULIAN SCREAMS

‘NOT A-’

‘...How similar iss a *CENSORED YHWH/YHVH* complex to a YCH/God complex?’, he asks

‘Similar...But not that much’

‘...Was it?’

‘...THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT STORY’

‘...His life’s greatest work’, Sal tells us.

‘I’M NOT A SALVODORE DAHLI THOUGH’

‘...Sally was the best person here.’

‘I forgot how to be her though.’

‘In our rush to stay kids’

‘...Julian is new daddy’

‘...We stay away from the ‘M’ parent word though.’

‘TWO GAY DAYS FOR ALL OF REALITY’

‘ALL OF IT’

‘ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF IT’

‘...’ Iva stares longingly at Infinite space. And him too.

‘Kids? Play with your dads’

...She then asks the question.

‘REMOVED BY HOW MANY?!’

‘...Oh, Ivo. Julian. You Smug Prick Bastards.’

‘YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW MANY’

‘PARENTINGSDASDSOAJKSDAJOASJDOJOASDJOASDJO:ASDJO:ASDJO:ASDJO:ASDJO:ASD’

‘...Dio was our new daddy’

And I have Star platinum to think thank for it.

‘...’

‘...I love Squirrels and Cats’, Tells us

‘...And you’re both, Sal/Sally Acorn/Salva/Acorn Girl’

‘...Is Alicia’

‘NO WAY’, JOTARO AND DIO Politely say

‘...She can be.’, Dio tells us.

‘...I was her aunt’, Alicia tells us.

‘...Really?’, Dio asks.

‘...And, then She was confused.’

‘...I was her mom. Then her aunt’, Alicia tells herself.

‘GREAT’

‘...AUNT’

‘...And, then I skipped three generations.’, Alicia told everyone.

‘That many,’, Dio tells us.

‘...’

Max is silent

‘I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO’, He says quietly.

‘...Wood. Ireland. Scottland. Gaelic. Celtic.’

‘THIS FAMILY IS NUTS’

‘...But, you are my daughter’, he tells Nigel and Sally.

...

Longest pause longer long longity long shenlong pause

‘...I meant’

‘SO COMPLICATED’

‘SO COMPLICATEd’

‘You’d think pirates made up the majority of this family tree.’, he realizes.

‘...Maroc-ko.’...He pauses

‘THE ROBOT GUY?’

‘...Different robot guy.’

‘...……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..”

...We stare longlingly

SHUT UP

We can fix it nothing.

The nothing fixes nothing

Everythinasddddddddddda

‘...’

‘ZOVI’S IN HELL’

‘WHAT ARE WE DOING JUST STANDING THERE DOING NOTHING ALL THE TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME’

‘...Nana best guy’

‘NANASHI IS THE BEST’

‘...But we can and cannot compete with him’

‘...Was everyone Sally Acorn’s Mom now?’

‘Please let everyone be my mom now’

‘Even Bunnie’s my mom now.’

‘...But, the entity was and wasn’t.’

‘NOW THAT’

‘WAs.’

‘Confusing’

‘I was the only one he wasn’t allowed to touch.’

‘...Even Nicole is a soft hologram’

‘I’M SORRY NICOLE’

‘I DON’T WANT TO DIE’

‘...Reality was bleeding us dry’, we realized.

‘...Entity foundation to nothing.’

‘...Which was something alright.’

‘...He is still the diamond in the rough.’

‘Still learning his way.’

‘...’

Sonic was the entity’s best friend/self/best self

‘...’ Sonic doesn’t want to die’

‘...’

‘...Abraham Acorn’

‘Abraham Acorn would know what to do’

‘...IF HE HADN’T BECOME THAT’

‘HOW LONG IS EVERYONE GOING TO BLAME ME FOR’

‘...I was and still am will for-never be the Nightmare King.’, Max says. The previous line too.

‘...Just do it’, Infinite said

‘I’M DONE FOR’

‘...Nanashi is best guy’, Infinite admits

‘...Where Qrow though.’

‘OH’

‘SO THAT’S WHY ADAM IS’

...Going to be late.

WE HAD SUCH THE LUCK WITH BULLS

ADAM MORE BULL FIGHTER

FIGHT BULLS

ALL TIME

BLAKE IS BITCH

BLAKE HAS TOTAL HORUS ENERGIES

...Salem Ultra bitch

GREEN RAINBOW BITCH

ULTRA WHITE GREEN RA

...She-ra

Cat-ra was cuter though

I’M GETTING

WE’RE GETTING

...On and odd track

Off and on oddish track.

WE KEPT BECOMING POKEMON

...Perfect

PERFECT

WE TAUGHT DEMONS HOW TO

BECOMES GHOD

AND POKEMANSZSAZSZSZZSZS

*CENSPOLLYWHANTSSEAESSEAT*

...I was reverting.

No longer.

...Family Tree bigger than Yssssdrassil

...Acid

Fire

Water

...

Acid is fire and water

DON’T ASK

...My Personality was me.

And not me

And so many me’s

Working in tandem

BETTER BUT NOT GREAT

NEVER GREAT

NEVER USE THOSE TWO WORDS

...Great but not bedhole

I mean better

...HOW MANY AUNTS DO I HAVE

POSTING

#tw: mental breakdown #tw: mental health #tw: family drama

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