#I have a lot of feelings about Buck taking the Diaz boys to the zoo okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whileyoursleeping · 4 years

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Grand Gestures

Prompt: we know buck was for grand gestures while he was in a relationship with Abby i.e. the hot air balloon what if he tried something similar with Eddie and Christopher either before or after they were dating and maybe he doesn't even realize it until someone asks him didn't he try doing that before and looking back maybe he has been doing some sorta date like outings with the Diaz boys huh like swan boat rides and mini golf then on a different day watching the sunset or like a picnic too lol

first things first: i’m sorry this took so long. secondly: this prompt got absolutely and wildly out of hand

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The thing is, when he's not working, Buck's got about ten brain cells and they're evenly divided up between researching random facts, working out, and loving his friends.

So he doesn't think things through. It's endearing, right? Mostly? At least after he cooled his jets a little and got out of his Buck 1.0 phase, he thinks it might've become endearing. His fire family joke about him being a golden retriever more times than he cares to count and he'd never admit it but they're probably right.

So he doesn't think about it when he starts taking the Diaz boys places.

He and Eddie have had a rough shift. It's sort of a rough shift in a line of weirdly rough shifts and they're both beaten down, and when Buck picks Chris up from school one day and Chris says, "Bucky, why is Daddy sad?" Buck immediately has to fix it.

He plans a day feeding giraffes at a zoo. Normally his go-to is the pier, but, well, that seems like tempting fate.

"I'm coming over," he announces to Eddie, early on a Saturday morning.

"Okay," Eddie's voice comes, sleepily. "Will you make pancakes?"

Buck's heart swells. He couldn't ever say no. Just thinking about Christopher's face lighting up at the surprise makes him want to drive faster.

When he gets to the Diaz residence, he lets himself in and immediately busies himself in the kitchen, making pancakes. For all Eddie is an amazing firefighter and dad, he's really bad at cooking, and the only reason there are even ingredients around is because Buck leaves them here.

When Christopher stumbles into the room ten minutes later, his face lights up. "Buck, Buck!" he cries, and Buck grins as he leans down and suddenly has an armful of eight year old.

"Hey, buddy!"

"Dad didn't say you were coming! DADDY, BUCK'S HERE!"

Kid has a set of pipes, and Buck almost winces at the volume. "Chris, can you set the table?" he asks.

"Yes!" Chris heads for the drawers and begins laying out plates and cutlery, just as Eddie wanders into the room, shirtless and wearing a pair of sweatpants that have been cannibalised into shorts. He looks surprised to find himself in the kitchen.

"You're actually making pancakes," he says, amazed. "Dios te amo, Buck."

Buck flushes, unsure if he's feeling suddenly flustered because of Eddie speaking Spanish to him or because Eddie isn't wearing a shirt. "Yeah," he mumbles shyly. "You asked."

Eddie smiles, and it's a little soft and sleepy around the edges, and for a moment Buck feels the weight of the last few shifts lift from his shoulders, and like they've gone back to real normal after the lawsuit. "Gracias a dios por ti," he says.

Does Eddie know what Spanish does to him? It isn't fair either way.

They sit down for pancakes, and Buck immediately sets to cutting Chris's into pieces so Eddie can focus on eating. He's losing the hunted expression he's worn for the last few days, and Buck's proud of himself for that at least.

"So," Eddie yawns, after they've sent Christopher to get dressed. "Not that I mind, but why're you here?"

Despite Eddie's words, and how warm and kind he's been this morning, Buck feels a little anxious suddenly about overstepping his boundaries. "Um," he says. "Well I - I can go if it's not a good time-"

"Buck," Eddie says, gently, and reaches across the table to grab his forearm. "I like having you here. So what's going on?"

Bolstered a little by Eddie's words, Buck smiles. "It's a surprise," he says. "But you should get dressed."

Eddie doesn't like giving up control, Buck knows, but the man only shrugs as he gets up from the table and heads towards his bedroom. While he's gone, Buck takes the dishes to the sink and gets a headstart on them. His mama might not have taught him much, but one thing he did learn is that it's rude to leave dishes in someone else's sink.

"Buck," Eddie's voice says. "You cooked."

"I don't mind," Buck says, mouth drying as he turns to find Eddie in the doorway, wearing a pair of light blue jeans that hug his legs and the white henley he once had on when dragging Buck out of bed. "Um, you look nice."

Eddie's smile only widens. "So do you."

Whatever weird moment they're having, it's shattered when Chris yells, "I'm ready, I'm ready!" and leaves his bedroom on crutches, moving with speed only a motivated eight-year-old has.

~*~

If Buck is a little distracted on the way to the zoo, it's only because he's thinking about how excited Christopher will be, and not because he's analysing hit outfit choice after Eddie's comment.

When they pull up, Eddie's looking out the windshield at the gates with an unreadable expression. "Too much?" Buck asks nervously, as Christopher whoops with glee in the backseat.

"He's wanted to come for ages," Eddie says quietly. "How'd you know?"

"I didn't," Buck admits, "I guessed, but it's been a rough week so I figured something fun would be nice."

That expression doesn't leave Eddie's face, leaving Buck feeling a little nervous as they unpack Chris from the backseat. Eddie ends up with his backpack, as Christopher proclaims his desire to ride on Buck's shoulders his time.

The kid isn't heavy, and it's not like Buck hasn't ever carried him. Still, it's a cool day and his crushed leg aches a little, which Eddie seems to realise as they walk through the park, with Christopher pointing out all the animals to them.

"Your leg okay?" Eddie asks.

Buck thought he was better at covering the limp by now. Apparently not. Eddie was there during his recovery, and Buck's worked really hard at not limping even when he is in pain, but the added weight on his shoulders makes it hard.

"It's okay," Buck says.

"If he's too heavy-"

"He's not," Buck rushes to say, squeezing Chris's shins where they sit around his chest. The kid is holding onto his collar with one hand, the other pointing and waving. "He's not too heavy."

"Okay," Eddie says, slowly, "but I'm buying lunch."

They sit down in the restaurant to eat overpriced fish and chips, and Christopher and Buck trade facts about the animals and ponder which ones would make the coolest hybrids. "Did you know you can make Pokemon hybrids?" Christopher asks.

"No way, can you?"

"Yeah! I'll show you!"

Buck willingly passes over his phone, and he and Chris spend most of lunch giggling over the strange combinations they can make. Eddie watches on, eating quietly, only ever interrupting to ask them a question.

Just past twelve, Buck herds them out to the giraffe enclosure. "Wanna see the giraffes?" he asks Chris.

"Yeah! They're tall like you!"

He laughs, and says, "how 'Bout really up close?"

His heart swells too big for his chest at the shout of joy Christopher gives, and he spends the next half hour feeling like he'll choke on it while they feed the giraffes, with Christopher taking to the baby one in particular. By the time they leave, it's past two, and Chris - who's been awake since seven - has fallen asleep in Buck's arms.

Buck straps him into his seat as Eddie loads the car up with everything from the zoo's gift shop and the photos they took feeding the giraffes. When both car doors close, it's quiet for a moment.

"Thank you," Eddie says quietly.

"I hope I didn't overstep," Buck says quickly. "Maybe it was something you two wanted to do together-"

"I've wanted to bring him for ages," Eddie sighs, "only between physical therapy, rent, bills, Carla, and everything else, I haven't had the time or the money. You didn't overstep."

Buck relaxes a little, feels warm. "Glad I could help."

~*~

Chris is still sleeping when they get to Eddie's, and Buck's the one tasked with bringing everything in while Eddie tucks him into bed. It's early, but there's no harm in letting the kid get some extra sleep, especially when he still occasionally has nightmares about the tsunami.

It's an exhaustion Buck can relate to.

He brings everything in, putting things on the table quietly before going back to shut up his truck. He's limping again - slow walking, especially with an eight year old on his shoulders most of the day, seems to cause his injury to flare up more than almost anything else.

"You okay, Buck?"

He smiles at Eddie. "I'm okay."

"Be honest," Eddie says, in his patented Dad Voice. "I can see you limping."

Eddie's concern feels foreign, especially after the lawsuit and the admittedly still strained relationship they share at times. Buck doesn't push, doesn't ask for anything, and is content just being able to be back in Eddie's life. It's still weird, but he's happy.

"Uh," Buck says. "It hurts a little sometimes. When it's cold. Today was just lots of walking, that's all. I'll down some Tylenol and I'll be okay."

"How about you stay?" Eddie asks. "Rest up before heading home. I'll find you some Tylenol."

Buck - who hasn't felt this wanted for a long time - can't even argue.

~*~

The next time they have a rough call, Buck plans a day out on a river boat. The time after that is a beach picnic, and after that, mini golf.

Every time something really bad happens on a call, Buck rushes to fix it. It's after one of these calls, when he's only halfway out of his fire kit and already looking up fun places to be in winter in L.A, that Hen says,

"Back at it with grand gestures, Buckaroo?"

He looks up, blinks. "What?"

She looks almost sympathetic. "The grand gestures?" she asks. "Didn't you already try this with Abby, baby?"

"Abby?" Buck feels about ten steps behind. "Grand gestures?"

Hen is like a mom slash sister to him, and she patiently explains, "The hot air balloon you organised for Abby when her mom was sick? Isn't that why you're taking Eddie and Christopher out on all these dates?"

Dates? Abby? Eddie? Hen's drawn a parallel between Eddie and Abby? Dates?

"Oh fuck," Buck says.

"He didn't know," Chim says, who's just entered the room. "Way to break it to him, Hen."

"I've been wooing Eddie," he realises aloud, a sense of panic creeping up on him.

"Wooing?" Chimney asks.

"Yes you have, Buck," Hen replies patiently.

"When did I start doing that?!"

"I think it was the Ferris wheel," Chimney supplies helpfully.

"No, it was the zoo, when they fed the giraffes," Hen counters. "That was the first one."

"Wait, how come I'm the last person to realise this?!" Buck demands. "You guys knew I was - and you didn't - what?"

"You've done it before," Hen says, very reasonably. "We just figured you were doing it again, only with Eddie."

"Eddie's a man!"

"So we've noticed," Chimney says.

"A beautiful man, though," Hen points out. "He's definitely in my "if I was straight" column."

"You have a column?" Chimney asks.

Hen suddenly looks at Buck. "Oh," she says. "This isn't about Eddie, is it? You didn't actually know that you were trying to date a man. Oh, that's what this is about."

"Buck," Chimney sighs.

"I can't help it, okay! I've been straight for twenty seven years!" Buck is undeniably panicking, because if he was going to have a sexual crisis this late in life why did it have to be about Eddie, of all people?

"First time for everything," Chimney says cheerfully. "Try not to panic, Buck. I don't think you've got anything to worry about."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Buck demands.

Before he can get an answer, Bobby walks in, takes in the sight of them - Hen and Chimney, grinning from ear to ear, and Buck, red-faced, flustered, and half undressed, and says slowly, "What's going on here? Buck? Are you alright?"

"Eddie's a man," Buck says, and flees the room, ignoring the peals of laughter behind him and Cap's stunned face.

He's so flustered he forgets to continue researching activities for all of them to do.

~*~

Buck lays off the grand gestures for a bit, thoroughly and completely freaking out.

He doesn't care much about being into dudes all of a sudden, because it doesn't seem like much to worry about in the grand scheme of things - he still loves and wants to bang women - it's the Eddie factor that's got him all confused.

So he sort of hides and doesn't say or do anything that could make Eddie think that Buck's got any untoward intentions, and if he trips over himself more than once trying to escape being literally no feet away from Eddie, well, that's his business.

~*~

Because he's Buck, and because some cosmic entity hates him and personally fucks with him at least once a month, things do not travel smoothly for him after his Hen-enforced I've Been Wooing Eddie Diaz (and possibly his son) realisation.

They have a call-out to an apartment fire that has decimated at least two floors, and Buck's whole body is pounding with adrenaline before they even get there, wiring him for action. This is what he lives for - the rush, the victory at the end. Lately, they haven't had many wins.

He's sent in to level three, which is maybe the second most on fire part of the complex, and he manages to find three people before he goes back for a fourth.

This is when the shit hits the fan, of course.

"Got another one, Cap!" he says into his radio, and he's just beginning to herd the woman out when the floor crackles ominously beneath him.

"Oh my God," she whimpers.

"Go!" Buck yells, and pushes her to the window. "Towards the window, Eddie will-"

The floor cracks, and she takes off, right before the entire foundation beneath him crumbles and sends him crashing through to the second floor.

Miraculously, he maintains consciousness, but he feels a rib give as he hits a hard wooden coffee table on the floor below and then goes through it. His breathing apparatus has stopped working from the impact, and there's smoke filling his lungs.

Buck's not dumb. He's got a few minutes at most to try and make it out of this fire, has to hope that the stairwell isn't blocked off. He wraps a tea towel from the kitchen around his face to stave off as much of the smoke as he can, drops to the floor, and begins to feel his way out blindly.

He finds the front door, he thinks, lies on his back to kick it open. His lungs are filling with smoke. His head pounds, and it's so hot, and he can hardly see or hear anything.

Hands on his back, rolling him over, pulling him up. He knows enough to cling, feels a strong set of shoulders under his arm and knows instinctively that it's Eddie.

"Sacrificado cabrón," Eddie swears.

"Whatever that means," Buck gasps, "I'm guessing it's not nice."

They're outside, and the air is blessedly cool. Eddie deposits Buck fairly non-ceremoniously onto a backboard, where Hen and Chim are immediately fussing over him, calling out his stats and getting a mask over his face.

His helmet is pulled off, along with his fire resistant jacket. They're checking for burns - temperatures that hot, your own sweat can turn to steam and burn you inside your clothes - and the oxygen flows through the mask, sweet and relieving and cool against his throat and lungs.

"Easy, Buckaroo," Hen says gently. "We got you."

He nods. Eddie's face appears over his. He's soot-darkened and his mouth is pressed into a thin line, and Buck could swear he looks almost pale underneath all the grime.

"Idiota," Eddie mutters.

"Rude," Buck replies, and still considers it worthwhile when he starts to cough.

"How's he looking?" Bobby asks.

Hen turns. "He'll be okay, Cap," she says, smiling with relief. "He inhaled some smoke and he might have a few bruises, but he's alright enough to be talking smack with Eddie. We'll take him to hospital just to be sure, though."

Buck groans. "No," he says. "I'm sick of-"

The looks of the entire crew silence him, and he shrinks back into the backboard meekly. "Okay," he mumbles.

~*~

Buck has one broken rib and several bruised ones, plus all the external bruising he suffered from the fall, but there's no concussion, no lacerations, all his organs are where they're supposed to be, and with pain medication, he feels better, so the hospital deems him disgustingly healthy and decides to send him home.

He's in bed, waiting for a change of clothes, when the door opens, revealing Eddie. Buck is pleased to see him for all of a second, until he notices the thunderous expression on Eddie's face.

"Hi," he says, thinking maybe this will be movie-levels of epic and Eddie will be so relieved to see that he's alright he'll forget to be angry and sweep Buck into his arms and kiss him and maybe take him-

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

When has life ever been movie-levels of stellar for Buck, after all?

"There was still someone in there," Buck argues. "Eddie, I was just doing my job. Nobody told me not to go in there."

Eddie laughs hysterically, which sounds dangerous, and says, "What am I supposed to tell Christopher if you die?"

Buck opens his mouth, then closes it. Shannon's death still haunts Eddie, and Buck has to tread carefully with what he says, he knows that. Telling Eddie he isn't going to die won't make the guy feel any better.

"He needs you," Eddie says, pacing up and down now. "I need you. Stop being so reckless."

"I can't." Buck feels like he's getting scolded for stealing cookies from the jar. "It's my job, Eddie. We knew the risks going in."

"Would you have gone in if you'd known the floor would collapse?" Eddie asks.

Buck looks at him evenly. He loves Eddie, which he's sort of come to accept, and he wants Eddie in his life and wants, more than anything, for the ever-present cloud of his lawsuit to fuck off so that things can go back to normal. This might fracture their relationship again, but Buck can't lie.

"Yes," he says.

The fight seems to go out of Eddie, then - his shoulders slump. He's hardly even showered enough to get the grime off. "Okay," he replies.

He puts a bag at Buck's feet. "I got you your clothes," he says tiredly. "A change. They said you're getting released."

"Yeah," Buck mumbles.

They're silent while Buck changes, his chest throbbing a little and his heart heavy. Things are never going to go back to the way they were - he knows that now. He's going to spend the rest of their relationship on the back foot, trying to make up for everything, trying to make the Diaz boys happy. He finally screwed up too badly to just pay up - he's racked up debt now.

Eddie waits for Buck to get changed before offering a curt, "I'll see you," and taking his leave.

Buck sighs. Good thing he texted Maddie to pick him up.

~*~

The great thing about hospitals is the hospital-grade painkillers he gets given.

The not-so-great thing about hospitals is getting released with about four hundred tiny holes from IV medication in his arms, a sense of exhaustion from not quite sleeping right, and the painkillers wearing off, leaving him in pain and miserable.

His broken rib hurts, and he's still coughing from the irritation to his lungs. His leg throbs, because any fall he takes now jars the rod and pins in it, and on top of all that, he's miserable with the thought that he's fucked things up with Eddie.

It meant a lot, to have the Diaz boys in his life. They were like family to Buck.

He's woken from a nap to a knock on the door and has to ease himself off the couch, wincing as he limps to the front door. It's probably some kind of marketing something but Buck always feels bad for not answering if he's here.

He opens the door without looking, mumbling a short, "Hello, I'm not-"

Eddie looks up at him, smiling a little. "Hey, Buck."

Buck blinks. "Hi," he says.

Eddie's eyes rake over him, taking in the bruises on Buck's face and arms, of the way he's a little hunched to try and ease some pressure off his ribcage. "You look like shit."

Buck snorts. "That's real nice of you, Eddie. Come here to say that?"

"No," Eddie says, and takes a deep breath. "I brought pizza. And snacks."

Sure enough, there's a grocery bag hanging from his left arm and a pizza box balanced in the other. Buck blinks.

"It's not a grand gesture or anything," Eddie admits quietly. "I don't really have the resources for that. But I haven't seen you in a while, outside work anyway. Whenever we had a bad shift you'd take us out to make us feel better. I thought it was my turn."

Just like that, Buck feels a whole lot better, like his ten off-duty braincells have exploded into little heart emojis. Eddie Diaz, who he's pretty much in love with, brought him pizza because Buck's hurt.

Without thinking, he steps forward and wraps his arms around Eddie happily. He's taller, but not so much that he can't tuck his face into the crook of Eddie's shoulder and say, "I've really missed you, Eddie."

He swears Eddie is blushing against him, even as hugs Buck back. "Lo siento," he says quietly.

"That's not fair," Buck complains. "I don't understand that."

"I said I'm sorry," Eddie says.

"It's alright," Buck says earnestly, stepping back to let Eddie in and shutting the door.

"It's not," Eddie says. "I haven't been good to you at all. I shouldn't have yelled at you for doing your job. But I was scared and I let it get the better of me. You should hold me accountable for being shitty, Buck."

"But you apologised, so it's fine," Buck replies.

Eddie stares up at him, then smiles. "It really is that easy with you, huh?"

"Yes?" Buck asks sheepishly, and Eddie laughs.

"C'mon. The pizza is getting cold."

~*~

Chris is with abuela, Eddie explains, once they've demolished the pizza and they're moving onto the snacks. He didn't want to overtax Buck if he's in pain.

Buck is in pain, but it's not as bad with Eddie sitting with him on the couch, pressed up against him. "You disappeared," Eddie says.

"I did?" He knows he did, but sometimes a combination of playing dumb and puppy dog eyes gets him out of trouble.

"Yeah. We stopped hanging out. Why's that?"

Eddie sounds like he knows and Buck is nervous as hell. "I, um-"

Eddie's hand lands on his thigh - his upper thigh - and Buck's brain short circuits. "You're a man," he blurts.

Eddie's eyebrows crease. "As far as I'm aware, yeah."

"You're a man and I used to do this stuff with Abby, I'd take her out to amazing places and then Hen and Chim pointed out that I'm taking you places and how that worked out for me last time-"

"Buck," Eddie says, squeezing his thigh, "slow down."

Buck takes a deep breath. "I was trying to woo you only I didn't realise," he mumbles nervously, "and I'm really sorry because I didn't realise that's what I was doing but I totally was and Hen and Chim pointed it out to me and I got nervous and I didn't want to mess things up so I stopped asking you to go places so that I wouldn't have to try and-"

"Remember what I said about slow?" Eddie teases. "You didn't mess anything up, Buck."

That doesn't sound right. He feels confused.

Eddie laughs a little. "Dios, Buck. I've liked you since the moment we worked on getting that live grenade out of the guy when I started at the 118."

Buck blinks. That also doesn't sound right.

Eddie turns to face him on the couch. "I know Abby left you," he explains, quietly, and Buck finds himself suddenly blinking back tears. "I know that even after everything she left you and it broke your heart. But I'm not Abby, Buck. I'm a sure thing."

Buck's heart does this funny thing where it thumps twice, and then Eddie is taking his face in his hands and kissing him softly, and Buck kisses back, because he's wanted this for so long he doesn't remember starting. It feels like a dream.

"I might not be," he explains, brokenly, when they separate. His voice sounds small.

Eddie frowns. "What do you mean?"

"I want this, Eds," Buck admits. "But what if I let you down? What if - what if I let Chris down?" His voice wobbles. "I already have. Doesn't matter where I go, someone seems to get hurt. I couldn't protect Maddie from Doug, and I couldn't protect Chris in the tsunami - then the lawsuit, and..."

"You saved Chris," Eddie says quietly. "You found Maddie. The lawsuit sucked, yeah. But you did it to get back to us, and I was a real asshole about that too, Buck. I'm willing to try if you are."

He remembers, then, speaking to an elderly man about his husband and their life together - "I hope someday I find something like that," he'd said, and the old man had replied, "You don't find it, son. You build it" and here it is. This is his chance to build something.

"Okay," he says, and Eddie's face lights up like Chris's does when Buck makes pancakes or tucks him in or surprises him. The Diaz boys will almost definitely be the end of him, and he's okay with that.

"We can't tell Chim and Hen," Buck mumbles as Eddie pulls him into another kiss. "They'll gloat for months."

Eddie smiles against his mouth, pushes Buck lightly to crawl between his legs and lie on top of him, a thrilling, heavy, muscular weight that Buck isn't familiar with just yet. "Worth it," he mumbles, his hands on Buck's face tipping his head up. "So worth it."

#buddie #evan buckley x eddie diaz #otp: there's no one i trust more with my son than you #nibbles writes things

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