#I have so many thought abaout this

[phantom-does-a-thing]

Thinking so hard about William decaying btw.

Under a cut bc I started saying words and didn’t stop. Tw for discussion of body horror n gore n stuff ig. He is decaying.

His digestive system doesn’t work, he can’t eat because it’ll make him sick because it doesn’t digest. He doesn’t tell the others about this, he just refuses to eat because he physically can’t.

His body won’t let him sleep because if he’s already dead there’s no use. Body does not regulate hormones well enough to allow him to sleep, there’s no production of melatonin or anything. He doesn’t produce saliva it’s hard to swallow because his mouth is always dry. He’s moodier and more irritable (bc again no hormone regulations).

When he bleeds it’s… not like normal blood it’s old it’s not fresh this is not blood that should come from a regular person. It’s darker, it’s thicker, it’s almost like syrup. His heartbeat is… it still *beats* but it’s very weak, very slow, it might as well not beat at all.

It’s hard for him to move because his muscles are very, very stiff, a lot less motor control because of it. His body doesn’t have enough energy to move so it’s very hard some days, especially when he can’t eat or sleep to make up for that lack of energy. He “wakes up” (decides it’s an acceptable time to stop laying in bed) in a state of rigor mortis that is so hard to shake from and is incredibly painful.

But even so he can barely feel pain, it’s very dull. All his senses are dulled. It’s as if he’s underwater. No sense of smell or taste. His ears are constantly ringing. His vision is a lot blurrier than before, touch receptors are very muted. Someone touches him and he can barely feel it unless they try to hurt him.

His thoughts are so muddled all the time it’s hard to think because he’s so exhausted, his in so much pain (but it doesn’t actually hurt) and he’s trying so hard to navigate in a world where one wrong thing will make him fall apart. And he can barely think. His memory is so much worse, it was the one thing he had going for him and he can’t even do that. He can barely write bc muscle and motor control are very bad so he can’t take notes to remember.

He’s just ghosting this world with a fuzzy feeling inside him, like a soft apple, because everything is falling apart. I think his skin is so sickly colored, he doesn’t produce body heat, it’s like touching wax. I think liver mortis happens to him a lot (blood pooling in places) bc his heart is beating so slowly and so weakly it barely does anything so it’s so uncomfortable.

His skin is easy to pull from the bone, not off, bc it’s still a bit difficult to rip. But it’s stretchier for sure bc nothing is connected right anymore. Connective tissue is decaying, not enough energy in bodies for muscle contraction so cells are eating away at themselves to try and conserve energy. Etc.

His bones are also falling apart, specifically his joints bc again connective tissue is decaying. His shoulders and elbows dislocate and he can barely put them back into place, walking will throw his hip out. I cannot stop thinking about his jaw falling apart like Eben Byers, idk why his jaw would be a notable source of decay, but it’s a disgusting sight that he tries to hide as best he can.

He won’t wear anything besides long sleeves and pants because he’s trying to hide the patches where his skin has started to mold and decay. He wears gloves to hide the blue/purple color of his fingers bc there’s no circulation and he stood in one position for too long so the blood started to pool and never… fixed itself.

He was unpleasant to touch before bc of how cold he is, now it’s even worse. The others won’t touch him because both it’s… really scary and gross… and they’re so scared of making it worse. Dakota is so physically affectionate with people but he… doesn’t with William anymore. It’s so painfully isolating because they treat him different, they notice he’s decaying and they act different.

William is so… isolated… he’s falling apart at the seams and there’s no support because everyone will treat him weirdly or like a fragile thing. Sure he’s fragile but he doesn’t want to be treated that way. With people skirting around touching him because it’s… he’s just a corpse no one wants to touch that, or talking to him differently.

And I think that’s the worst part about the entire situation. Everyone treats him differently. They’re weird about it, everyone is weird about it for understandable reasons bc who the hell is gonna know how approach that kind of situation. It still hurts though.

He’s so cold and he misses those nights that he would cuddle up with Dakota because Dakota is warm and loves to cuddle. That doesn’t happen anymore. He misses it.

William is so touch starved and lonely, he isolated himself so much more because he wouldn’t dare subject someone to the hell that is his body. Because he’s falling apart, he’s decaying, it’s gross. And the loneliness is almost the worst part.

#rambling #phever dreams with phantom #jrwi #I have so many thought abaout this #aka phantom is in an anatomy class and only ever uses it to think about William #jrwi pd #William wisp #jrwi william wisp #body horror #gore #just in case bc he is decaying #so yeah ough #phantom posting