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amandaelisablog · 6 years

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A RANT THAT IS TMI

I need to vent because life gets heavy sometimes and it’s hard to be alone in your mind with these things. I’ve found that doing this gives me an outlet and hopefully finding others who feel as I do. So back in November I had a work injury and forgot to send in a report about it. I didn’t have insurance at the time due to how expensive it was which sucks because you get a penalty charge on your taxes for being uninsured. It’s an unfair thing to the hardworking folks who put in time for crap pay and even work under poor conditions or strenuous physical demands. Having your government say, hey you work, you pay your taxes but you fucked up by not being able to pay for insurance. Anyway, so I got through the whole process to get this checked out, find that it’s a sprain in my knee that hasn’t healed since November, it’s now March. They pay for the urgent care visit, the sports injury doctor, the MRI proving the injury and then deny the claim for physical therapy because I didn’t report it when it happened. What was the point of going through all of this for three months if you knew this and still paid for those tests? Not only that but my company told the worker comp that they called the family I work for (I’m a care provider for people with disabilities) and said that the family said they didn’t know anything about it. It’s all bullshit because the day it happened I told the parents, plus me and the mom are very close and she would have told me right away if someone had called her. She doesn’t hide or keep things from me, she considers me family.

It has put a bad taste in my mouth over my company and the way they deal with things like this. I am a hard worker, I even stayed that day on two twisted ankles, a messed up knee, hip and arm. I was there 8 hours and couldn’t do much with the child I work for due to all the pain I was in, so our activities were floor or table based. On normal days we play and work on habilitation which can be physically demanding and that wasn’t possible. So now after all of that I still have a messed up knee and three months of wasted time. If I had known that this was going to be the outcome of this I would have used my insurance, though I didn’t learn of this insurance until after I started the claim process. It had been active since December which would have been nice to know but again what can you expect from the way that Arizona department services are run.

If the can get out of spending any money on a person they will find a way, which is what Copper Pointe did, it was easy for them to deny it and for my company to throw it and lie about doing a more in depth search on my claims. I am a truly honest person and find that there isn’t a reason to lie about things, especially something like this. The only reason I had informed my manager was to find some information on what happens if I were to have surgery on my knee due to the extreme pain, as well as others in my life who had the exact same pain in that area. I wanted to know if they offered any kind of time off. I like to cover every base I can in order to avoid losing out on pay. I barely make it every month and each month is so anxiety inducing. If it came down to missing work for this or just living with it I would have just left it alone. This is how the world works and it’s your word against those of higher power. You will always be in the wrong because they get final say.

My second issue is this. Since I just got insurance I’ve established a PCP, OBGYN etc. First of all my PCP is making it real easy for me to drop her and find someone else with more consideration. I take medications for anxiety, depression and a mood disorder, which they can’t decide is bipolar or not. I need them badly and after a few days the effects are obvious. Pretty soon it will be hard for me to drive or get out of bed. My mood is very manic as I go through these cycles, it so disorientating and damaging to my job if it happens then. I still have to work and it’s hard, so hard. How the hell am I supposed to even get to work if I can’t drive a straight line or keep the fogginess at bay?

Anyways, so she told me any times since seeing her she would refill these medications. I even brought a paper from a free clinic I had been going to. It had all the information they needed in order to record this and the phone number to the place to verify. Two different people took this information down. The front desk girl took the paper and wrote it down as well as the doctor’s assistant who I watched type every single one into my file on the computer. I was there 7 days ago and told her I needed them refilled since I had one more left of each of them. She said she would send them out that day. I waited and waited but never got the text from my pharmacy saying they were filled so I called the pharmacy thinking maybe they didn’t send it yet. They had no record of it being sent over.

So called my doctor’s office and the girl I spoke to seemed like she didn’t know anything. I explained to her three times the situation and she claimed she couldn’t find any record of these medications, the ones I made sure to give them straight away to avoid this. I called every day since and still nothing, after the third day she magically found the medications and was waiting for doctor approval and for the quantity and mg, which had given the second day calling. I even called today and got the same damn thing from when I first called. I’ve been out of medications for about five days and feel like shit. It has really made me feel as though I made the wrong choice in a provider. I am considering finding someone different who will take things seriously and do their job. Luckily the family I work for is on vacation and I have this time to be in this depressed anxious state.

The last thing on my list here and this is going to get personal, a lot of tmi. I went to my new OBGYN and did all the fun tests you get to do that are both uncomfortable and awkward. After all the tests the doctor sat down with me and said matter of fact, you guys don’t plan on having kids I see. I was taken aback by this because we do plan on having kids just not right now as our money situation isn’t the best. I told her this and she look at me with concern and I didn’t understand what was going on. She explained to me that due to my age, weight and birth control that this factors are working against us conceiving. That was a huge punch to the gut and I wasn’t expecting to hear that. So she hooked me up with this woman who is helping me to lose weight and I’ve lost 6 so far which is a great feeling. But due to this whole business with my meds I am having a hard time not falling back to eating to fill that void. So far I haven’t but I want to.

Anyway, so I had another problem that had to be checked. This is where it gets personal. I got my nips pierced a few years ago, after a year they got infected, did the whole antibiotics thing and it seemed to have gone away. But about a year or so ago I started feeling pain and something hard inside of it. Because I didn’t have insurance it been a struggle to deal with this. On the pain scale it’s about a 7 to 8 some days. The doc didn’t find anything upon inspection but decided to send me to get an ultrasound. So did that and they found an abnormality inside? Just think if she hadn’t sent me and it got worse. I got sent to a specialist who gave me three options, 1 was to leave it alone, 2 was antibiotics and the last option is removing the damaged tissue, which is last because it’s the worst one on the list. So I’m on antibiotics for two weeks then I wait 3 months to make sure it’s gone before we visit the last option. So this is the last option, we remove the damaged tissue which will cause the nerves inside to die and cause the nip to cave in making it an unusable source of feeding a baby.

This all happened within two weeks and its weighing heavy on me. This is where I feel the most alone; no one knows or can understand this feeling I have. It feels like some kind of punishment from the universe or something. To know that I might not be able to have kids but even if I do I basically have a shutdown boob. I’m very old school and feel as though breastfeeding creates a bond with mother and child, it’s important. But it feels as though all my dreams are dashed and the only thing I can do is sit and watch. I’m trying though, to at least lose weight, this has been a great motivator for me to get on the ball. But who can say if this one thing will help in the end? I’m 30 which isn’t old but it is a concern, due to the fact that we might not even start until our mid to late 30s.

“The miscarriage rate is 11.7 percent. By age 30 your risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is 1 in 952, and a baby with any chromosomal abnormality, 1 in 385.” – parenting.com How can I do that to a child? Knowing this is a possibility? Now before you get all uppity there isn’t anything wrong with down syndrome or anything but with the knowledge I have on this how can I be selfish and not give my child a chance of being born healthy? This study is just for age 30, but considering when we decide to have children it probably won’t be until after 35 if that.

“This is the age when your doctor might recommend amniocentesis or some other prenatal screening—which for many women is anxiety-provoking while they await results—because the risks of having a baby with Down syndrome or another type of chromosomal disorder begin to rise significantly.” – parenting.com.

“The miscarriage rate rises after age 35 to close to 18 percent. Rates of stillbirths are about twice as high among older pregnant women than younger ones, according to recent studies, although the reasons are unknown.” – parenting.com

The above are my concerns and at that point do I even take that risk? I get tired of hear people say, well so and so had a healthy baby at 45. Good for her, but all woman’s bodies are different and you can’t base my situation on someone else. Based on my own body I feel like there is a greater chance of the above happening.

It’s been hard to accept this as a possible reality considering I’ve found a man I love who I want to have children with and grow old with. Before him I was so afraid to have children due to my upbringing with a destructive parental unit. I didn’t want to end up like my mother because I can see a lot of similarities in us that scare me.

Age is a big problem for me mainly because I don’t want to be too old to enjoy my children. I want that time when I’m still able to play with them and be involved and not be in my 60s when they are my age. I wish I had children in my 20s. You know how old my mom is right now? She’s 50! She’s young still and I’m 30 we are 20 years apart and she looks young, people used to think she was my older sister, not in that cheesy way but even at school functions they’d ask where our parents were.

So that’s been my past 2 weeks and it feels good to get some of this out.

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strainingfororiginality · 6 years

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Chapter 11.7 - Sacrifice

Note from Author: Apologies, but there WILL be a part 8 to Chapter 11. It was going to be just ONE big section, but it was already more than 12k words and I wasn’t even done writing it yet. Normal sections are 3-6k words.

Wings - Hurts

Say you'll catch me when I fall

Wrap your wings around my body

When I'm lost in the storm

And I'm calling

"Oz …" Mike huffed from behind, but she made no indication in her flight that she heard him.

Oz. Please. I need to … I can’t …

He tried through voice and then he tried through their connection, but again, she was distracted. She did not hear him. What the hell was she doing? Her head was tilted at a strange angle and she was staring up into the night sky. Wait … was she stargazing?!

"Oz!" He screamed again before his body gave out fully and he began to free fall towards the Earth, plummeting through the rain clouds like a rocket. He closed his eyes when he expected to slam against the ocean’s surface, but she had him, catching him and grabbing his right wrist with both of her hands.

"Michael! What on Earth happened?!" Her wings took large swallows of air as she kept them in no more than ten feet from the water’s surface. “Are you alright?!?”

"I was calling to you ..." He tried not to be emotional, but he had never felt so weak and helpless in his life. “I CALLED TO YOU! What were you doing?!”

"I was … preparing." She was curt with her answer and he knew something else was up. She was usually never so short with any response. “Can you fly or not?”

"I …" He wanted to say yes, but he didn’t know if he could, and there was no point in lying to her. She would know. “I just need to take a short break …”

"Nope. No more breaks. No more charging. I apologize, but we haven’t the time." She scooped him up into her arms like a child, holding him tight and close to her heart. “You will rest within my arms, brother.”

"No, Oz! I don’t need you to carry me!" He was more embarrassed now than he has ever been, but he was unable to fight her. “Please, don’t … please ...”

"Your ego will have to take a backseat today, I’m afraid." She held him tighter and resumed the flight, heading back above the ominous clouds and rain. “Don’t worry, Golden One … I won’t tell anyone.”

"Thank you." Michael felt as if this was some kind of karmic punishment suddenly, as they had threatened Quintus with this same fate, had they not? He could not believe he was being carried to Siberia … like a baby.

"Well … Ok. Ok. Ok. I gotta be honest here … " She grinned madly. “I’m definitely telling Raphael.”

"Signore, è molto bello vederti." Antonio greeted him with a firm and uncharacteristic hand shake, his voice flush with genuine relief as Quinlan walked down the ramp to the black, armoured SUVs. George and Fet followed him per his instructions, and the rest stayed with the plane while it was being refueled and the pilot made the necessary arrangements for the next leg of their trip, much to the Hacker’s dismay..

Diverting from their planned destination, the plane had landed in a small unmanned airfield on the outskirts of Rome; one which Quinlan had often used as a backup option. The military, no doubt, was waiting for them across Rome at their original destination and now they had at least an hour to kill until the journey could continue.

The storm had provided ultimate coverage for them to sneak across the ocean undetected and now it was in its last throes of existence. Though the rain and lightning ceased half an hour ago, the wind and the dark clouds had not retreated and he did not expect they would. At least not the wind ...

Dutch’s jamming equipment had not just masked them, but it had also ceased all communication to and from the plane, and while Quinlan would have preferred to have Ferraro bring weapons to the airfield, landing in one piece was well worth the cost. He hoped the man would be waiting here and he was, with two SUVs and enough room for ten individuals. Well trained. Still reliable and trustworthy. Quinlan was proud of him. He watched the boy grow before him and he never expected that Antonio would make a viable replacement for his father as Quinlan’s emissary, but he had been pleasantly surprised by him, time and time again.

"Antonio. It is good to see you as well." He acknowledged his friend as he removed his harness and sword, sliding into the backseat. “Take me home.”

"Sir …" The Italian man pointing to the plane and specifically at the woman who hung her body out of the door, glaring at him still. “I was expecting ten?”

"We are not staying …" Quinlan explained and the other people piled into the car, Ferraro taking the front seat. “We only require … supplies.”

The drive into the city was nearly uneventful, save one roadblock on the main freeway. As the SUV slowed for examination, the driver rolled his privacy-tinted window down and spoke with the soldier with familiarity. "Ciao Edoardo!"

"Ciao!" The military man smiled back.

"Cosa sta succedendo?" The driver poked.

"C'è un avvertimento su una possibile minaccia terroristica. Ci è stato chiesto di verificare la presenza di sospetti nei veicoli." The soldier warned. “Dovresti stare attento guidando. Consiglierei di rimanere dentro per il giorno successivo o due, Alessandro.”

"Ah, grazie per l'avvertimento."

The soldier nodded and leaned slightly into the car as Mr. Fet attempted to melt lower into his seat. "Uh oh." There was no doubt that the clipboard the soldier carried had pictures of the giant Ukrainian in it.

The soldier caught a glimpse of the dhampir in the back seat and apologized immediately for such an intrusion. "Scusa per l'inconveniente, signor Sertorius." Quinlan nodded once back to the soldier and he stepped away from the car, waving them through without any scrutiny.

"What da hell?" Fet sat back up straight. “Dey just lettin’ us through?” He eyed the other cars as they drove past. Every vehicle was being stopped and searched, their occupants forced to exit and watch.

"New York maybe be your city, Mr. Fet, but this one is mine." Quinlan chuckled lowly. “Welcome to Rome.”

An Ending, a Beginning - Dustin O’Halloran

He left George and Fet downstairs, instructing his men to take them to the sub-basement ‘supply room’ and take as much as they could carry and more. He instructed his men to give the Ukrainian anything he wished from the vast stash of weapons and explosives and then he made his way upstairs. As he walked through the lobby, half destroyed and half in the process of being rebuilt, he stopped for a moment and marvelled at the current state of his elevator, or lack thereof.

"It will be fixed next week." Antonio apologized. “It took extra time to get the permits for the crane use. It is very …” He looked around. “Impressive.”

"What is?" Quinlan asked for clarification.

"How much destruction such a tiny thing is capable of." Antonio actually grinned at his words and Quinlan fought the urge to do the same.

"Indeed."

"If you are curious, Sir, I can have the video footage of that day played back for you."

He actually was curious, but there was no time now. "It is fine, Antonio. I will watch it later." Quinlan assured him. Taking the stairs, he found himself proceeding slowly up to his home. He wasn’t entirely sure what was driving this reluctance, but once he was before the front door, he paused once again. The last time he left his home, he assumed he would never return. He had looked forward to his end, but now, an incredible relief rushed across his heart as he reached for the handle and he was so very thankful to be back ...

He entered his home and he found it very much the same he left it, albeit somewhat messier. Specifically, there was human food strewn across his counter and dirty glasses in his sink. Grumbling, he cringed as the rings of dried blood in their bottoms only hinted at one person leaving them there. Damn Lap Dog.

His eyes crawled over the human food and he inhaled their smells. A half finished cappuccino, containing milk now rancid and pungent to his sensitive nose, and a half eaten croissant. He could still make out the tiny bite mark on its edge … such a tiny bite mark.

Focus, Quintus.

Resisting the urge to clean it all, he moved up the stairs. He needed to get his weapons and get back to the plane. The road block had eaten considerable time and now he just needed to … hurry.

He stopped at the top of the stairs as her smell hit him squarely in the face. It danced all around the area and he stared at the object from which it emanated: his unmade bed. Only half of it had been used and it was the half upon which he had normally slept.

Focus, Quintus.

He approached the closet and punched in his code, 0618, but the door responded with a disagreeable beep accompanied with a flashing red light upon the keypad. What? He tried his number again and it refused him … again. He pinched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. She had changed his code. 0618 had been Tasa’s birthday. It had been the day her and Sura were taken from him. The day he burned down Rome. Given the circumstances, he fully accepted that if the scenarios were reversed, he probably would have changed it as well.

In any case, he already knew what she had changed it to. He typed in the four numbers, the same code she had used on her phone, and the door unlocked with a click.

These numbers represented the date of his death.

Two of his guns, some ammunition, and his gladius were missing, as well as some of the other clothing items, but what he came for was still here. He felt whole again as he pulled the under-arm holsters across his back and nestled two of his micro-uzi’s into their holsters.

Lag Fyrir Ömmu - Ólafur Arnalds

Grabbing a duffel, he shoved the extra guns and ammo into it before heading back towards the stairs, but the bed caught his eye one more time, and the smell wafting off of the sheets distracted him fully.

As the bag slid from his shoulder, he approached it wearily, assuring himself he was just going to make the bed quickly to stifle the aroma that floated off of it, but as he pulled the top sheet across, her smell hit him hard and he found himself powerless against it. He melted into the embrace of the covers laden with her rich, angelic scent. Quinlan clenched the blankets in tight fists and pulled them against his body as he curled into a tight ball.

In this moment of utter weakness, he buried his face into his pillow … into her bouquet … and he struggled to remain composed.

Just a moment here, while he broke. What would it hurt?

Just one more moment here ...

Orphan - Vaults

Thrown into the fire like a widow’s charm

I step into the role as the veil it burns

I just wanted to believe in something beautiful

Hunger by a streetlight I’ll see no more

The apple of your eye was a falling star

I just wanted to believe in something beautiful

"So, you’re saying they’re soulmates?" Uriel asked for qualification, interrupting Sandalphon’s meandering tale.

"No. No. Absolutely not." She shook her head. “Well … They weren't exactly soulmates. At least not in the strictest sense of that word. You see, they weren't MADE for each other. They weren’t born without the freedom to love whomever they wish. But rather, they just wholly complement what the other one has always lacked.”

"What do you mean lacked?" He squinted at the word.

"An other." She explained. “That bitter emptiness, that insatiable ache, of being a Hayyoth without an other. You see, this left each of them with matching holes carved into their very souls. And it was beautiful that each other’s voids were just precisely the shape of the other. One spotted and one striped. One gold and one silver. One made from the Left and one made from the Right.”

"So you set up this game for them to find each other?"

"No. That description is too simplistic. It lacks the nuance necessary to understand what occurred." She sighed at his overly practical nature. “You see, brother, it had to be a push and pull between them. It had to be a give and take.”

"Not a game then." He interpreted her words perfectly, as she already knew he would. “You set up a dance.”

"Like you have always said, everything is a dance. Fighting is a dance. Love is a dance. Life itself. Existence." She smiled. “I had to find a partner who would both challenge and surrender … to her.” She spun her cup. “I had to find a partner who would could both defeat and be defeated … by her.” She closed her eyes, struggling to embrace hope rather than fear. The Gladiator was so much better at hope than she was … than anyone was. “I had to find a partner that she would deem worthy of her love. Someone that could prove worthy of it, regardless of the personal cost.”

"She sounds … demanding?" Uriel quipped.

"No more so than Honoria, I suppose." The statement was made to sting him and he responded with an uncharacteristic glare. “I had to find her an equal. Equal in strength. Equal in determination and … most importantly … equal in defiance. And let me tell you, it did not prove an easy task. I had to search for him across time. Countless futures. Countless possibilities.”

"But what about him, Andy?" Uriel asked. “You said personal cost … What about what Quintus wanted? Or what he deserved? I’ve met him. I ... “ He hesitated as he didn’t wish to actually admit what he would say next and she understood why. He was Honoria’s son, but he was also Sempronius’. “I like him. I like him a lot actually. He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserves your meddling--”

"Uriel …" She shook her head and closed her eyes, seeming to remember something bothersome, something disgusting, something painful. Her face contorted with these memories, with these visions. “I have seen … I have witnessed such unsatisfying and tortuously unwarranted fates which awaited him without her. Countless timelines, over and over and over. Endings with agony and sadness and … worthlessness and loneliness. I have seen him without her, without even the promise of her, without the fate of her. Each time, it ends the same. He gives his life for mankind, over and over and over. Fearlessly, courageously, vengefully, and entirely without LOVE, brother. Every fate without her was … lacking fundamental purpose. It was almost mechanical in natural. I watched as the Seventh shard of Ozryel took his head or corrupted his body and mind or crushed every ounce of strength from him like he was nothing more than a god damn cockroach. No, brother. No. In fact, he deserves better than that. Never doubt that this story … this timeline … this choice I make for them … this respect that I afford him … is anything less than a chance at the happiness I feel he truly deserves.”

"I didn’t mean to imply …" He could see the passion that inflamed in her eyes and his words trailed off.

"Neither one would have or could have been happy with anyone less … extraordinary." She chuckled. “And do not assume him completely innocent. Do not assume that he did not rush into this without begging for it first. He is just as much at fault for his own fate as I am, brother. Even Michael tried for months to dissuade him in fact, did he not?”

"Heh. He is like his mother in that way." He smiled slightly before clearing his throat as he forced the twinkle in his eye away. “Defiant, I mean … that is ...”

"Yes! And that was the challenge in and of itself, my brother. How does one manipulate the most defiant of souls?"

It was a rhetorical question, but he shrugged and offered a comical answer regardless. "Blackmail? Extortion?"

"The simple answer is … you don’t. You don’t control them. You can’t. They are free souls. So instead, you change the world around them so that their defiance in turn drives their actions. Their pain, their loss, their love, and their determination is what you have to use to guide them."

"See …" He shook his head and bit into his lower lip in dismay. “You talk about control as if it were freedom. You use words like guide, but really you are just shaping the outcome you want. That is the opposite of freedom, Andy.”

"No. You are missing the point. Freedom …" She spun her cup. “... is why any of this was even possible. Freedom, Uriel. I know you understand this need.”

"Don’t make assumptions about--"

She interrupted him, as she knew he had already chose to fall a long time ago, the moment he chose love over duty. "Freedom to live … to want … to choose … to feel and, of course, to love … whomever we wish. And …" She reached for his hand and he sat in silence as she took it, looking up into his eyes. She beamed as she waited for him to finish her sentence as she already knew he would. “And?”

"And the freedom to Fall."

Creep - Kina Grannis

You're just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

And I wish I was special

You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep

The plane was already on its way to their Siberian destination and Quinlan sat in silence, alone again. He held his new blade in his hand and stared at the bone handle as he remembered taking his friend’s head.

"Have you given it a name yet?" Barqan stood in the aisle and asked.

"In fact I have." Quinlan had actually given the sword’s name quite a bit of thought on the flight to Rome. “Her name is Devoratrix.” Devourer.

"Fitting name. I hope it pleased you?" The marid slipped into the aisle seat on the other side of the row and stared at his creation. “Did it meet your expectations?”

"You could have warned me of its … ability." Quinlan was pleased, but he still did not feel in a charitable mood towards the Djinn.

"I thought you knew, Prince of Snakes!" Barqan laughed. “You said you were familiar with the Celestial Blade. Was this an exaggeration?”

"I …" Quinlan glared at him. Yes. He had implied that. “I have held the Celestial Blade but … Fine.” He had held the blade, but thinking back on it, he had never actually used it. The Djinn waited and Quinlan rolled his head in annoyance at his presence. “Yes. It did please me. Thank you.”

"Good. Good." Barqan shifted in his seat and Quinlan could read the body language easily. The Black King wished to discuss something he was assuming would be unpleasant.

"What do you want?"

"Prince …" Barqan looked at him and his brows pinched with seriousness. “I …”

"Just out with it … or leave me be. I am currently not the mood for smalltalk." Quinlan sighed.

"I want to make sure you are prepared to do what you must." Barqan said rapidly and confidently, tilting his jaw towards the blade as he spoke. “To do what is … necessary.”

"Necessary?" Quinlan was not in the mood for another lecture this soon, especially not from someone who had yet to re-proven his loyalty. “I do not follow.”

Barqan pointed across the aisle, at the metal part of the sword. "What will be necessary for … survival. For … victory."

"I do not plan to lose." Quinlan tilted his head as he fully understood the implication behind the marid’s word, but he sneered and simply asked the Djinn to be direct with it. “But if there is something else on your mind, I challenge you to actually speak it, rather than dance around your actual intention.”

"Very well." Barqan took a deep breath. “I question your reserve to do what will be required of you next, Prince.”

"Required?" Quinlan laughed off the statement. “You make assumptions that hope is gone--”

"Little Bear told me what you found at that cabin." Barqan looked into his eyes as he shook his head. “We both know what … who … awaits us in Siberia, Pri--”

"No. No." Quinlan’s jaw clenched and his lip curled up as he interrupted, moving to put the sword away. “We know nothing yet.”

"Quintus." Barqan tried a fatherly tone with him, but the dhampir refused still. “We know--”

"WE KNOW NOTHING YET. Return to your seat. Leave me in peace now." He was done with this conversation as he faced forward, opting to try and ignore the marid, who continued to pry still.

"You are not an irrational child. As much as you wish to refuse it." Barqan sighed again. “You are more practical than that … and you have understood the very need for this … many times in your long life ...”

"The need for ‘this’?" Quinlan found it impossible to ignore his words and what he was implying. “And what exactly is … ‘this’?!”

"The need for sacrifice, my lord." Barqan’s voice cracked slightly. “The need to do what is necessary … for the greater good. For the survival of this world--”

"Greater good?" Quinlan laughed and this time met the Djinn’s eyes. “I have done what is for the greater good my entire life. I have given and given … and given. I am sorry, but I will give no more.”

"You were chosen to give, because you have the strength for it. You have always been destined--"

"Your words are horseshit." Quinlan cut him off with rash vulgarity. “Do not spout nonsense to me about destiny, coward. I doubt you even understand the meaning of ... sacrifice.”

There was silence and Barqan picked at his fingers nervously. Assuming he had won the discussion, Quinlan turned to finish sheathing the blade when the Djinn spoke again.

"I understand sacrifice, my lord. Better than most, in fact." The marid’s voice was monotone. “Her name was Sathariel.”

"What? Another lover?" Quinlan scoffed at his attempt. “Please do not attempt to belittle--”

"My daughter." Barqan stated. “Her soul was purged from existence before my very eyes, using the very shard you now hold in your grip.”

"I am …" The content of the Djinn’s words struck Quinlan hard. “Apologies.” There was a moment of lingering silence and the dhampir waited as the Djinn breathed deeply.

"I am not as strong as you, Prince." He confessed as he looked up, shame painted across his dark face. “I could not stop them. They took her from me so that others would live … so that I would survive and thrive ... for my people. I … I understand sacrifice, my lord.”

"Perhaps …but be honest with me now, Black King." Quinlan leaned forward, squinting into the Djinn’s eyes to read any possible reaction. “If it had been in your power to stop them. If you had been strong enough … Would you have? Or would you have done what you are asking me to do now?”

"My lord, sometimes the real show of strength is to accept that you are the chosen one who must proceed … who must live … alone. I know you may not wish to hear it, but you can find love again. This situation only lends itself to that fact even more. Do you not see? You have lost before and you have been given again--"

"Do not trivialise what she means to me." Quinlan sneered. “This situation … her … there will never be another like her again … not to me. Of this, I am more certain than I have ever been.”

"Quintus …"

"Leave me."

"If hope for her is already gone, then all that is left now is vengeance for her loss and the subsequent and bitter necessity of this_ sacrifice_ that must follow it. I beg that you consider giving the rest of the world a fighting chance."

Hope … Vengeance … Sacrifice ...

"Do not worry." Thomas was standing before them, seemingly on his way to the bathroom located in the back of the plane. The strigoi looked much better after Quinlan had delivered nutrients to him. “He will do whatever is necessary, whatever it takes, as he always has. Isn’t that right, Invictus …” As the Nazi spoke, Quinlan detected a hint of animosity, judgement, and disgust in the German’s voice. Its presence caused Quinlan to tilt his head at the strigoi. “Unfortunately for her.” Did this creature really care for her?

No further words were exchanged and as Thomas continued to the restroom, Barqan returned to his seat, and Quinlan looked solemnly at the partially sheathed sword, gingerly touching the edge of the exposed part of the blade’s edge as he felt the plane angling down for their final descent ...

Sacrifice? The Greater Good?

Why was this always his responsibility? The cost for it was always the same. His life. His love. His happiness. Him.

And now, the Djinn’s words echoed within him and he considered everything that he had been forced to give up … for the greater good. Nothing made sense. The Wheel had lied if it was his fate to … sacrifice, yet again, as he had always done before.

No. Absolutely not. Not again. In fact …

Never again.

Blackout - Charlotte OC

Can you reach to me now? 'cause I've fallen in

And I'm caught in your wake, it's so hard to swim

"Father should have never made that thing! It has corrupted you just like that bitch corrupted Lucifer!"

Gabriel pushed Raphael’s button and that was the moment the fight was over. Raphael was done playing. He needed to get to Earth, with or without Gabriel, and as he drew upon the very depths of his divine well, he cringed when his brother screamed in agony over the divinity that coursed through both of them. The massive angel fought it, but Raphael did not stop and his brother fell to his knees, his body shaking violently. Raphael did not wish it to have to go this far and he was shameful for the pain he inflicted.

"I am so sorry, Rael." The indigo child’s voice cracked. “You cannot win. You simply … cannot.” Gabriel clenched, but his sword fell from his grip. Control was lost and victory was granted. The Indigo Child began to pull his brother’s armour away and as the bronze metal evaporated into the air, Gabriel slouched on the ground, naked and raw and the staff reformed before Raphael. He took it in his grasp. “It is over now. It is done. I am sorry.”

As The Messenger looked up into his solemn face, Raphael’s chest ached at the sight of Gabriel’s eyes. He had never before seen them full of such despair and defeat. Oh God. What had he done? What had he been forced to do? What had she forced him to do? He hadn’t wanted it to happen this way.

His amber eyes were the first things Raphael saw when he first cracked through the wall of his shell and pushed into the world. The divinity illuminated his vision into this bitter existence and Gabriel was the first thing he saw.

Unlike the other four, Raphael didn’t have to break through into this world on his own and nor did he even have to stand by himself the first time. For once he had kicked his shell, pressing on it with all of his strength from within, it had cracked along the side and Gabriel curled his hands into it and pulled it apart for him, freeing him. His other had peeled away this cell and then bowed down to him, offering a hand so that Raphael could stand … beside him.

"Stand with me. Please." Gabriel, defeated and naked, wrapped his massive arms around his knees and pulled himself tight, as if he were back in his egg again. It was now Raphael’s turn to offer a hand to his brother, speaking softly as he did. “Rael … stand beside me.”

"You of ALL people, Phael." Gabriel choked the words free from his throat painfully and ignored his brother’s hand as he began to rock back and forth. “I never thought you would fall. You have always been the best of all of us, but now … I am the only one who stood strong. I am the only one left ...”

"Does that even make sense?" Raphael asked calmly. “Consider it carefully. Does it make more sense that everyone has fallen ... except you?” He crouched down, resting his arms on his knees as he gazed upon his other with understanding, bringing them both back to eye level with one another. “Or does it not make more sense that you are the only one that hasn’t leapt with us yet?”

There was a militia of several hundred men waiting for them when they touched down. Part of them mercenaries, part of them ex-military, part of them surviving Sun Hunters from the old world Ancients who lived here. Regardless of their background, they were all skilled, trained, and well armed. Quinlan stepped down from the plane, adjusting his gloves and pulling his hood down as he addressed them all quickly, loudly, and succinctly.

"Сегодня вы увидите вещи, которые заставят вас подвергнуть сомнению ваше здравомыслие.." He shouted. “Оставайтесь сосредоточенными и помните ... даже боги могут кровоточить!”

The pep talk was accepted with enthusiasm. The soldiers thrust their various weapons into the air before the crowd dissipating and people fell back to their respective transportations.

"Everyone with me." The dhampir moved towards the armoured ATV. “Now.”

"Hey!" George jogged up beside Fet. “Do you speak Russian? What’d he say?”

Quinlan grinned, hearing the question from behind as he hoisted himself up to sit in the front row of seats of the tracked tank and Fet answered with a crazed smile, raising his eyebrows enthusiastically. "Dat even da gods bleed."

Until We Go Down - Ruelle

And I feel it running through my veins

And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake

Erased, I missed till the break of day

And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake

Until we go down

The massive ATV bounced savagely back and forth and Dutch balanced her laptop on her knees, cursing as she tried to type on it while they moved.

"You are absolutely certain?" Quinlan asked again.

"Yeah, love. I am." She spun the device and pointed to the ellipses on the map, next to the western-most bank of the massive lake. “She’s on, right now … In fact, I’ve never seen her on this much. The signal is so strong, I’m having a hard time picking up anything else. The amount of power that she’s emanating--”

Quinlan spun the computer in her lap and spoke to the driver on the other side of her, instructing him to proceed to that very location.

As they did, the vehicle bounced over the snowy, rugged terrain, ambling its way towards the lake and everyone sat in uncharacteristic, nervous silence. The full moon illuminated much of the land before them, as the armoured mini-tank climbed the final hill between them and the massive body of water, they glimpsed the shine of its surface on the horizon and Thomas spoke from the middle row of seats.

"Baikal." The Nazi explained. “It is the world’s largest, deepest, and oldest freshwater lake. It is known as a rift lake, for below its surface, rests the deepest continental rift on the planet. Though it is quite unique in many ways, the only one that matters right now is that there lies seven kilometers, or for you Americans, four point three miles of organic sediment at its bottom.”

"Is there a purpose to this history lesson?" Quinlan sneered. He wasn’t in the mood for a lesson right now. He was nervous and … uneasy.

"Oh yes, my lord. Important purpose. Purpose that you should take note of." Thomas did not skip a beat, undeterred from Quinlan’s sour tone. “My Master spoke of it often. He told me many stories of its history … and purpose. He told me that it is not just the Gate to Hell but it also serves as a warning, for it is also a tomb.”

"A tomb?" Dutch bit. “Is it … Lucifer’s tomb?”

"Oh no. No. Not his tomb." Thomas laughed, but there was no detectable amusement in his tone. “What do you think caused that four point three miles of sediment, my dear? And when the Gate of Hell opens, and those damned souls flood in this world … where do you think they will go? Do you think he would open the gate to simply allow them to become lost?”

Oh gods.

Oh … gods ...

"The sediment … “ Quinlan gulped. Organic waste. Decomposed organic waste. It was bodies. It was a mass grave. “It is …" Quinlan felt vastly underprepared suddenly, as the history lesson became clear, its importance running along his spine. “The remnants of his army.”

"Yes." The response was a hiss. “It is where the Indigo Child laid The Morning Star’s monstrous legions to rest, after he fled to the safety of Hell. It is the resting place of his hordes, those millions left after his nearly-successful destruction of Earth.”

"Do I even want to know why this matters?" Dutch stammered.

"Lavoisier, Mrs. Fet." Thomas quipped and Quinlan actually spun around, to look at lapdog in his smug eyes. “Matter cannot simply vanish. It had to go somewhere … Raphael left it here as a warning.”

"What did you say?" That name. That name. The Wheel had spoken it … Oh gods. It had been warning. “Who is that?”

"Antoine Lavoisier, my lord." Thomas sat straight up, as Quinlan’s stare intimated him. “He was the french chemist who discovered the Conservation of Mass.”

"Conservation of what now?" Gus spoke for the first time since landing.

Thomas chuckled at the Boxer’s ignorance, though Quinlan was certain none there, save perhaps the Hacker, knew what it meant, though the dhampir had a growing suspicion. "That the total mass of matter is the same at the end as at the beginning of every chemical change."

"Uhhhh … Yeah, but dey’re all dead though, yeah?" Fet hoped loudly from behind. “Dey are dead.”

"So was I." Quinlan cringed as he knew it didn’t matter. In fact, it was how Quinlan himself had reincarnated. All the Morning Star required was the matter itself. He could form it to his wishes. This was The Power of Creation. “So was I, Mr. Fet.”

4.3 miles …

4.3 miles of decomposed corpses.

Millions upon millions of wicked creations.

He played the number again and again in his mind as they approached the lake and he made out a familiar silhouette standing at its distant shore.

#the strain fanfic #quinlan fanfic #mr. quinlan fanfic #quintus sertorius fanfic #quintus densus #an insatiable ache #chapter 11 #part 7

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engbergsinchile · 6 years

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Friday in Santiago – and an 11.7-mile walk!

We arrived to Santiago last night after our unexpectedly delayed flight, with the quick stop in Puerto Montt to deplane the elderly woman who was having heart trouble. We have all been hoping she’s OK now!Once we arrived in Santiago, everything went smoothly. Everyone successfully got their bags – all checked luggage turned up ;) After that, we said goodbye to Tiffany, because she was heading back to the U.S. last night, and then Alia, Eric, the kids, and I got the rental car. We got a white Chevy Captiva, which is a medium-sized SUV. It seems pretty big to us, actually! We rented a car because we decided to use Santiago as a home-base for the last three days of our trip, taking a few little jaunts ourt of town – maybe to a winery and to Valparaiso?Once we got through rush-hour traffic in Santiago and dropped Alia off at her eco-hostel, we made it to our place, and met Raul, our Airbnb host. He was very nice. We did a lot of WhatsApp-ing on our way, to keep him apprised of how far out we were and to let him know when we were at the parking structure to let us in. I tell ya, it took Eric many corrections and re-corrections to fit the big-seeming Chevy Captiva into the teensiest-tinsiest space in the parking structure! So, last week when we were in Santiago, we were in the very center of town, near the Plaza de Armas (well, not far) and near the Catholic University, where my conference was. It was a busy and not particularly scenic part of town.Now, Raul’s place is in Providencia, a neighborhood in Santiago that is east of our neighborhood from last week. We are in a highrise on a high floor and this is quite a nice area. It has a really different feel than the area of last week.Honestly, last week, we weren’t so enamored of Santiago, partially because of all of the chaos going on with our travel and Tiffany’s bag, and all of that, but also because our neighborhood was not the bee’s knees, as it were. But, as of last night, we’re like, wow, Santiago is really much more varied than we knew, and we really started to explore more, even last night upon arriving and getting situated in Raul’s place.

We weren’t sure going out to dinner was in the cards last night, because it was already 7:30 p.m. when we were ready to get dinner, but Alia walked over from her place and we decided to go for it. We went to a place on Raul’s list of recommended places, Liguria, and it was like a Chilean-Italian hybrid, and it was super busy, big, interestingly décor-ed, and with a fun, cool, and happy vibe. We really loved it! We were taken far through the restaurant and up a staircase, and back to the front of the restaurant but on the top floor. We had a big circular table, and they brought the kids these very cool, large-format coloring pages, with matching games and other engaging activities included. We had walked about twenty minutes to get to Liguria, so the clock on the kids’ bedtimes was ticking, if not expired, but they really hung in there. We had a delicious dinner, with fish, potatoes, a beautiful fruit plate, crab stew, wine, and water from Patagonia (as if we hadn’t had enough of that – haha). The kids remained cheerful, though they started to get wacky and wired at the end, but pretty much upon strolling out of there and heading in the opposite direction of Alia, Cece fell asleep in the stroller right away. We popped into a grocery for a few things and then got back to the apartment (did I mention its gorgeous views of the city? Wow. They’re great) and put the kids to bed. Cece didn’t even awaken as we got her dressed and in bed. What a day they’d had! A bus ride from Puerto Natales to Punta Arenas, a flight to Santiago with a stop in Puerto Montt, and a rental-car ride into Santiago and a long walk to and from dinner! What troopers they are.

So, we tried to sleep in on Friday morning, but that never seems to actually happen. Though Cece fell asleep in the stroller around 9:30 p.m. the night before (so late for her!), she still was up at 7 a.m. and I was like, man, how I’d really love an hour more of sleep. She did go into the living room of the apartment and play with her Legos and little farm animals and magnetic blocks, and made a “home” for all of the “babies,” so she was occupied and I could, as was my plan, hear her clattering away the whole time while I tried to rest a bit more. After ultimately getting up and at ‘em, I sat down to catch up on work emails and attend to a few pressing things, and then we jaunted out to meet Alia at what we hoped would be an awesome park, which I read about in Wallpaper. Man, did that park elude us! It’s not like our search for it guided our whole day necessarily, but it was the subtext. We went to many different parts of town, asking people along the way, and no one knew of it, and then, there was conflicting info about where it was. It was supposed to be this totally awesome linear playground, but, by the end of the day, when we hadn’t found it and finally found out where it really was, it was where we were when we met Alia after our initial long walk, in the morning! So crazy. We are actually hoping to for real get there Sunday. But, despite missing that park/playground, we went to three other playgrounds in our travels today. And, get this, we walked 11.7 miles on foot. This stroller, though our kids are “older” now, is still a life-saver. Cece napped in it, Rowan rested in it, it helped us carry our stuff. Hip, hip hooray for the Phil&Teds e3!

So, today within these 11.7 miles, we went back past the zoo, through Cerro San Cristobal, over to Barrio Bellavista and the restaurant Chipe Libre, then back towards Plaza de Armas, towards some second-hand shops, to the Mercado Central, which we’d been to last week, then across the river to a fresh flower market, and then to an amazing market selling all kinds of fruits and other things, and then through a neighborhood selling embroidery and screenprinted items, and then – finally!—to a gelato shop. We got to visit Alia’s eco-hostel after that – so cute – and then we walked back to our place in Providencia, trying to find the park one more time. At that time, we asked the tour-ops at the tram loading area on the side of Cerro San Cristobal about it, and they finally clued us in to where it actually is. So, Sunday will be the day.

We got home after that and ate spaghetti, with sides of tuna, fruit, and crackers (a real unsophisticated smorgasbord, haha), and had a pretty nice relaxed evening, but with a still too-late bedtime for the kids. We’re going to try to get up and out a bit earlier tomorrow, to get on the road for a day-trip to Valparaiso. We’ll see what kinds of fun we encounter tomorrow!

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flauntpage · 6 years

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Game Three: Five Things to Watch For

The Sixers can get it done without Joel Embiid.

That might be the biggest topic of the past 48 hours, Joel’s game three status, but we’re talking about a team that just won nine games in a row minus the superstar center.

When you re-watch game two, you can look at Miami’s increased pressure and physical play and tip your hat to Dwyane Wade for his phenomenal individual effort. You can also look at the fact that the Sixers didn’t shoot the ball well, suffered a horrendous second quarter, and still cut the lead to two points deep in the fourth quarter.

Going with the glass half full approach, we’ll start with that topic:

1. Uncontested Field Goals

How much of the Sixers’ shooting struggles were due to Miami’s more intense approach, versus simply missing open shots?

Luckily for us, the NBA keeps statistics to help us determine that.

I edited the chart below to show each player’s minutes and overall field goal percentage. The other six categories are fairly straightforward:

CFGM = contested field goals made

CFGA = contested field goals attempted

CFG% = contested field goal percentage

UFGM = uncontested field goals made

UFGA = uncontested field goals attempted

UFG% = uncontested field goal percentage

The NBA defines a contested field goal as “any shot where the closest defender is within 3.5 feet.”

Taking that into account, here you go:

They only shot 30.2% on uncontested looks. JJ Redick was especially poor here, hitting just 1-9 vs. a 3-4 contested field goal mark. Marco Belinelli hit just 3 of 10 uncontested looks and Robert Covington was 2-7.

For comparison, those three players were 6-10 (Redick), 6-11 (Belinelli), and 3-6 (Covington) in this category in game one. The entire team was 56.5% in uncontested field goals, so it lends a lot of truth to the idea that they just weren’t hitting on Monday night. Still, you give credit to Miami for being disruptive and pestering on the perimeter and making guys more uncomfortable in general, but I highly doubt the Sixers shoot 19.4% from three again this series.

2. A whole lot of BS

Hassan Whiteside has been a total non-factor in this series. I think he’s mentally soft and doesn’t possess any sort of killer instinct or competitive attitude.

If you want a stat to show how little he’s been involved, consider the fact that he only accounted for 17 of Miami’s 397 touches in game one. He threw 9 of their 277 passes. Those numbers barely changed in game two, with 15 of 367 touches and 10 of 244 passes.

Through two games, he has 6 total points, 10 rebounds, 3 blocks, 5 turnovers, and 6 field goal attempts. He’s played just 27 minutes.

That makes Embiid’s eventual re-introduction interesting to me. Does Embiid’s return inspire Whiteside at all, considering the past beef? He’s obviously more suited to bang in the low post with a guy like Joel, vs. sliding around the floor and trying to keep an eye on Ilyasova or Saric.

I know Whiteside has had some nagging injuries and only played in 50-some games this year, but I thought we might see something different in the playoffs.

Not really.

It seems to be a continuation of the way he finished the season, with Erik Spoelstra frequently going small and turning to Kelly Olynyk and rookie Bam Adebayo down the stretch. That led to Whiteside dropping this quote after a bad loss to Brooklyn:

“Man, it’s annoying,” said Whiteside, who was pulled for good with 3:55 to play in the third quarter. “Why we matching up? We got one of the best centers in the league. Why we matching up? A lot of teams don’t have a good center. They’re going to use their strength.

“It’s bullshit. It’s really bullshit, man,” Whiteside said. “There’s a lot of teams that could use a center. Shit. That’s bullshit.”

We’ll see if Spoestra continues with the same “bullshit” in game three.

3. What’s left in those legs?

The general consensus was that Dywane Wade would be capable of stealing at least one game in this series. He did that Monday night both literally and figuratively, scoring 28 points off the bench and slapping the ball away from Dario Saric in a sequence that kicked off a 6-0 fourth quarter run.

Does he have the legs to do it again? How much gas is left in the tank?

Wade only played 26 minutes Monday night, so it’s not like he needed to go 40+ in some Herculean effort. He was efficient as hell, hitting his first seven shots of the game, a bunch of mid-range stuff that you’re probably willing to live with.

For what it’s worth, Wade played more regular season games against the Sixers than any other team, putting up 15.9 PPG on 50% shooting in 24 average minutes:

Compare that to season averages of 11.4 PPG and 22.7 minutes, with a 45.5 FG% in Cleveland and a 40.9 FG% since returning to Miami. He’s performed at a higher level against the Sixers this year.

Here’s how he did in all five of those games:

11/27 (Cavs): 15 points, 4 rebounds, 5 assists, 41.7 FG%, 25 minutes

12/9 (Cavs): 13 points, 1 rebound, 4 assists, 60.0 FG%, 24 minutes

2/14 (Heat): 8 points, 3 rebounds, 2 assists, 30.9 FG%, 23 minutes

2/27 (Heat): 27 points, 1 rebound, 1 assist, 62.5 FG%, 25 minutes

3/8 (Heat): 16 points, 6 rebounds, 2 assists, 53.8 FG%, 23 minutes

And the playoff games:

4/14 (Heat, game one): 11 points, 4 rebounds, 4 assists, 57.1 FG%, 19 minutes

4/16 (Heat, game two): 28 points, 7 rebounds, 3 assists, 68.8 FG%, 26 minutes

It’s impressive stuff, really just one clunker in there, the 2/14 game where he failed to reach double digit points.

Based on all of that, and considering that he hasn’t logged a ton of minutes, it’s not unreasonable to think that he could rip off another big game in this series. We’re talking about a guy with three rings and a hell of a lot of playoff experience. This is where he thrives.

4. Rebounding

For all the talk of the Sixers playing smaller lineups with Ersan Ilyasova and Dario Saric as a 5/4 combination, there really hasn’t been much of a drop off on the glass.

Ilyasova has 25 rebounds through games one and two, more than any other player on either squad. He pulled 6 off the offensive glass in game two alone, and according to NBA tracking stats, those boards came from 9 offensive rebounding chances (ORBC), so he was successful on 66% of his rebounding opportunities off missed shots.

Coming into the series, Miami was 9th in the NBA at disallowing second chance points, just 11.7 per game. But the Sixers poured in 27 of ’em in game two. Part of that, of course, is that they missed a lot of their first attempts. You can’t get offensive rebounds if you aren’t putting up bricks in the first place, but watch for that tonight and see if Philly can again be successful on the glass despite playing small and keeping stretch bigs on the floor. Spoelstra has turned to Kelly Olynyk frequently and has had more success with him on the floor. That keeps Whiteside on the bench, but like I said, it’s not like he’s changing the game when he’s out there.

5. Playing inside to outside

Miami showed some full court press in the second quarter of game two, which really threw the Sixers off their rhythm.

One of the ways to combat that, instead of screening off the ball to get shooters open, is to throw screens at the ball-handler to alleviate higher defensive pick-up points.

This is what I mean:

Redick’s back screen there causes some confusion, with James Johnson sticking to Simmons and Josh Richardson switching instead. JJ slides out to hit the team’s second successful three-pointer on 14 tries.

This plays well to the Sixers’ strengths, because if Miami switches there, Simmons can go down and post up the smaller Richardson while Redick has a slower and bigger guy on him. They can’t pester your point guard on the perimeter if he’s 6’10” and possessing the ball on the low block instead:

If you watched Villanova at all this year, you saw Jalen Brunson do this. He’s not 6’10”, but he did a nice job of posting up similarly sized guards and then allowing his shooters to fan out on the perimeter.

That shot above was Redick’s only three pointer of the game. He missed his other six attempts, most of which involved a lot of legwork, him running horizontally off screens while Miami went over the top and tried to prevent easy looks. In this case, Redick was working vertically and popping out to the line, instead of trying to lose a pesky defender by dragging him sideways.

The only other instance I saw of inside-to-outside passing with Redick was here:

No screen there, and it might have been a broken play, but Redick is popping to the perimeter off some 1/2 action, which gets him a decent enough look.

So keep an eye on how the Sixers look to get their shooters open in game three against a more physical team that really wants to go over screens. High defensive pressure makes opponents ripe for backside picks and a high/low passing game, and you can probably rag them on a UCLA cut or two. If Embiid plays, you can dump it down to him in the post and let him either work 1v1 or pass out of late double teams in that inside-to-outside fashion.

More than anything, they just need to hit their open shots and they’ll be fine, with or without Joel.

Game Three: Five Things to Watch For published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

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amtushinfosolutionspage · 6 years

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Laeticia Amihere Is the Future of Women’s Basketball

Over the next two months VICE Sports will be profiling 16 athletes as they evolve into national superstars. Keep checking back here to find them all.

If you’ve heard of Laeticia Amihere, it’s probably because of her most publicized accomplishment: Becoming the first Canadian woman to dunk a basketball. The dunk, itself a thunderous feat of athleticism even before one considers that she was just 15 years old at the time, became a viral internet sensation after it was posted on Twitter by the Ontario Basketball Association.

A few months later, while playing with the Canadian senior women’s team at an exhibition tournament in Europe, the dunk caught the attention of some of Amihere’s more seasoned teammates—people for whom a young woman dunking is less novel at this point. “Some of [my teammates] played in the WNBA, so they’re like, ‘Ah, I’ve seen that before,'” she told VICE Sports over the phone in September. She added that even still, “When it came out, they were pretty stunned.”

“Coming out with the dunk drew a lot of attention,” she said, reflecting on her viral fame. And while her dunk is truly impressive, it’s not the most impressive thing about the 16-year-old Amihere. She is the No. 2 recruit in the class of 2019, according to the espnW HoopGurlz rankings—that’s not just in Canada, but all of North America. She was called up to the Canadian senior team as a 16-year-old for a reason. She also recently helped lead the nation’s Under-19 team to bronze at the FIBA U-19 World Cup, earning All-Tournament Team honors, averaging 11.7 points and 7.4 rebounds over seven games against older, more experienced players. And while she wasn’t with the senior team for their gold-medal victory at the FIBA AmeriCup in Argentina, it won’t be long until she’s a fixture on that roster.

Canada Basketball has been aggressive with bringing underagers to tournaments in the past—Amihere played with the Under-16 team as a 13-year-old, too—and the senior team is no different. It’s a part of the program’s growth strategy that’s helped identify some of their up-and-comers to watch, an early stamp of approval for names like Amihere, Kia Nurse, and Natalie Achonwa.

“It was great having her,” national team coach Lisa Thomaidis told VICE Sports. “It was really good to get an initial look at her skill set, as well as put her in that environment and see how she would react and respond. A big thing for her is getting a visual of where she needs to be down the road, and I thought it served its purpose. She’s extremely physical and a great athlete. Basketball is such a highly skilled sport that now it’s just a matter of her continuing to work on her skill set.”

Jamal Burger

Amihere took those lessons to heart, and her focus between now and the 2018 World Cup, when she’ll likely join the senior team again. By dint of standing 6-foot-4 with tremendous athletic gifts, Amihere could complacently dominate high-school opponents. But as she reaches one level after another—college, the WNBA, and international play—her comparative advantages will lessen. With this in mind, she said, allowing herself to have some of her weaknesses “exposed,” in her words, was a welcome opportunity.

Amihere works relentlessly. The training schedule for an elite performance athlete who also doubles as a high-school student is exhausting just to look at. She’s up at 5:30 AM, her gear packed the night before, for a morning workout before school. Then there are classes at King’s Christian, a private school in Oakville, Ontario (about a half hour west of downtown Toronto), followed by practice until 6 PM. That leaves a little time to eat and study and to fit in eight hours of sleep, and more or less strips stripping out most of the opportunities to live the traditional teenager life. Amihere doesn’t mind, appreciating the structure the routine provides and using weekends to catch up on time with family.

“There’s never enough hours in the day, but I think for me, I’ve set up a program. That’s what really gets me going,” she said. “My teammates are like my family, so hanging out with them, even on the court, is pretty fun. I started playing [high-level basketball] in Grade 7, so I had my whole childhood seeing how it was not being an athlete. I much prefer the athlete side of things.”

On top of everything else, there’s also individual work, intense sessions during the offseason to help build her into a more complete and more dangerous player.

“She’s really special,” Lee Anna Osei, the founder of Canletes, an organization that develops and assists young athletes, and the coach of Ontario’s Under-17 team, told VICE Sports. “One of the things that I really loved about her is not just her general work ethic, because a lot of kids have that work ethic, it’s her ability to take coaching and her ability to open herself up more to think outside of the box.”

A big focus for Amihere and Osei has been stripping convention and definitions from her game. Given her size, Amihere is naturally a post player, but her athleticism makes her potentially far more versatile. Her ability to expand her range will likely determine where she plays at the next levels of the sport, but for now, Amihere and those around her aren’t limiting her to a single role. Given where her game is at now and how much time she has to improve, there’s a good chance she winds up a complete original.

That work is, unfortunately, about to become more difficult. In late October, Amihere tore the anterior cruciate ligament in her knee going for a layup in a game, ending her 2017-18 campaign. Amihere’s camp will practice caution to limit the chances of aggravation or re-injury. A good amount of research has focused on how to prevent ACL tears in young, female athletes—who studies have shown are more likely than male athletes to experience such injuries—but less information is available about the likelihood of and risk factors for re-injury. Amihere is hoping to return to action for 2018-19, which would give her a full year to get herself ready for her freshman college season.

Jamal Burger

“I didn’t know quite what to think of it because I had never gotten a serious injury before,” she said. “The most shocking part about all this was I did not mourn for long, because all I could think of is when I would get back and my recovery. I’m really trying not to focus too much on when I get back, because I definitely want to treat this recovery and process professionally, but I am definitely going to come back stronger physically and mentally I will have more insight on the game. This is just another chapter in my long book and is something I’m going to overcome because God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.”

Through all of her earlier work, Amihere had quietly maintained a goal that could now be a little tougher to achieve: to jump from No. 2 in the ESPN rankings for the recruiting class of 2019 to No. 1, rarefied air for a Canadian prospect.

“I’ve been working. A couple of months ago I was actually ranked No. 3. Moving up to No. 2 was a good jump, but definitely getting to that No. 1 spot is my goal and what I strive for every day,” she said.

Wherever she lands in the recruiting rankings, a college basketball program somewhere is going to be elated to welcome her. In September, she narrowed her list of potential schools down to 14, a wide net to be sure, with plenty of time to work through the choices before committing. She plans to take sports management courses wherever she lands, a goal which helped her narrow the options initially. On that list are some of college basketball’s powerhouses. If they want to land Amihere, they’ll have to offer more than just a winning pedigree.

Jamal Burger

“For me, what’s really important is skill development. Being able to develop your players,” she said. “Obviously, a lot of the top programs will do that. And obviously, the relationship I have with the coaches, that really sparked a lot. I know a lot of players that are NCAA, so asking around to my friends and my peers that are in the NCAA, I got a lot of insight. They really helped me through the process, telling me pros and cons and really what to watch out for.”

There are still two high-school seasons and two summers of international play before she’ll set foot on a college campus as a student-athlete. With a rare combination of size, athleticism, skill, and work ethic, she is the latest and perhaps likeliest could-be star in an increasingly robust pipeline of Canadian basketball talent.

For now, there’s the dunk, which is as important as it was popular (Natalie Weiner wrote a terrific piece at Bleacher Report recently that explored the importance of such moments). Amihere wasted little time in thinking of ways to channel the moment into sending a positive message. She’s brainstormed ideas about a clothing line, for example, that would be targeted specifically to young, female athletes. “I’m trying to start that and change the culture out here, especially in Canada,” she said. “I really want to inspire others, so I want to make tees like ‘Jump like a girl’ and stuff like that.”

Jamal Burger

Amihere already spends time working with younger athletes, and it’s her hope that her own success will help continue to build momentum for female Canadian basketball players. “I’ve heard a lot of people try to say, ‘Hey what are the things you do to try to dunk?’ So I’d also love to start doing camps to mentor the young girls out there.”

“That’s the thing that really motivates me every day,” she said. “People are out here looking up to me, so I definitely have to live up to that. That’s something that’s really important for me, giving back, because when I was younger I didn’t really have anybody to look up to.”

Laeticia Amihere Is the Future of Women’s Basketball syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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flauntpage · 6 years

Text

Laeticia Amihere Is the Future of Women's Basketball

Over the next two months VICE Sports will be profiling 16 athletes as they evolve into national superstars. Keep checking back here to find them all.

If you've heard of Laeticia Amihere, it's probably because of her most publicized accomplishment: Becoming the first Canadian woman to dunk a basketball. The dunk, itself a thunderous feat of athleticism even before one considers that she was just 15 years old at the time, became a viral internet sensation after it was posted on Twitter by the Ontario Basketball Association.

A few months later, while playing with the Canadian senior women's team at an exhibition tournament in Europe, the dunk caught the attention of some of Amihere's more seasoned teammates—people for whom a young woman dunking is less novel at this point. "Some of [my teammates] played in the WNBA, so they're like, 'Ah, I've seen that before,'" she told VICE Sports over the phone in September. She added that even still, "When it came out, they were pretty stunned."

"Coming out with the dunk drew a lot of attention," she said, reflecting on her viral fame. And while her dunk is truly impressive, it's not the most impressive thing about the 16-year-old Amihere. She is the No. 2 recruit in the class of 2019, according to the espnW HoopGurlz rankings—that's not just in Canada, but all of North America. She was called up to the Canadian senior team as a 16-year-old for a reason. She also recently helped lead the nation's Under-19 team to bronze at the FIBA U-19 World Cup, earning All-Tournament Team honors, averaging 11.7 points and 7.4 rebounds over seven games against older, more experienced players. And while she wasn't with the senior team for their gold-medal victory at the FIBA AmeriCup in Argentina, it won't be long until she's a fixture on that roster.

Canada Basketball has been aggressive with bringing underagers to tournaments in the past—Amihere played with the Under-16 team as a 13-year-old, too—and the senior team is no different. It's a part of the program's growth strategy that's helped identify some of their up-and-comers to watch, an early stamp of approval for names like Amihere, Kia Nurse, and Natalie Achonwa.

"It was great having her," national team coach Lisa Thomaidis told VICE Sports. "It was really good to get an initial look at her skill set, as well as put her in that environment and see how she would react and respond. A big thing for her is getting a visual of where she needs to be down the road, and I thought it served its purpose. She's extremely physical and a great athlete. Basketball is such a highly skilled sport that now it's just a matter of her continuing to work on her skill set."

Jamal Burger

Amihere took those lessons to heart, and her focus between now and the 2018 World Cup, when she'll likely join the senior team again. By dint of standing 6-foot-4 with tremendous athletic gifts, Amihere could complacently dominate high-school opponents. But as she reaches one level after another—college, the WNBA, and international play—her comparative advantages will lessen. With this in mind, she said, allowing herself to have some of her weaknesses "exposed," in her words, was a welcome opportunity.

Amihere works relentlessly. The training schedule for an elite performance athlete who also doubles as a high-school student is exhausting just to look at. She's up at 5:30 AM, her gear packed the night before, for a morning workout before school. Then there are classes at King's Christian, a private school in Oakville, Ontario (about a half hour west of downtown Toronto), followed by practice until 6 PM. That leaves a little time to eat and study and to fit in eight hours of sleep, and more or less strips stripping out most of the opportunities to live the traditional teenager life. Amihere doesn't mind, appreciating the structure the routine provides and using weekends to catch up on time with family.

"There's never enough hours in the day, but I think for me, I've set up a program. That's what really gets me going," she said. "My teammates are like my family, so hanging out with them, even on the court, is pretty fun. I started playing [high-level basketball] in Grade 7, so I had my whole childhood seeing how it was not being an athlete. I much prefer the athlete side of things."

On top of everything else, there's also individual work, intense sessions during the offseason to help build her into a more complete and more dangerous player.

"She's really special," Lee Anna Osei, the founder of Canletes, an organization that develops and assists young athletes, and the coach of Ontario's Under-17 team, told VICE Sports. "One of the things that I really loved about her is not just her general work ethic, because a lot of kids have that work ethic, it's her ability to take coaching and her ability to open herself up more to think outside of the box."

A big focus for Amihere and Osei has been stripping convention and definitions from her game. Given her size, Amihere is naturally a post player, but her athleticism makes her potentially far more versatile. Her ability to expand her range will likely determine where she plays at the next levels of the sport, but for now, Amihere and those around her aren't limiting her to a single role. Given where her game is at now and how much time she has to improve, there's a good chance she winds up a complete original.

That work is, unfortunately, about to become more difficult. In late October, Amihere tore the anterior cruciate ligament in her knee going for a layup in a game, ending her 2017-18 campaign. Amihere's camp will practice caution to limit the chances of aggravation or re-injury. A good amount of research has focused on how to prevent ACL tears in young, female athletes—who studies have shown are more likely than male athletes to experience such injuries—but less information is available about the likelihood of and risk factors for re-injury. Amihere is hoping to return to action for 2018-19, which would give her a full year to get herself ready for her freshman college season.

Jamal Burger

"I didn't know quite what to think of it because I had never gotten a serious injury before," she said. "The most shocking part about all this was I did not mourn for long, because all I could think of is when I would get back and my recovery. I'm really trying not to focus too much on when I get back, because I definitely want to treat this recovery and process professionally, but I am definitely going to come back stronger physically and mentally I will have more insight on the game. This is just another chapter in my long book and is something I'm going to overcome because God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers."

"I've been working. A couple of months ago I was actually ranked No. 3. Moving up to No. 2 was a good jump, but definitely getting to that No. 1 spot is my goal and what I strive for every day," she said.

Wherever she lands in the recruiting rankings, a college basketball program somewhere is going to be elated to welcome her. In September, she narrowed her list of potential schools down to 14, a wide net to be sure, with plenty of time to work through the choices before committing. She plans to take sports management courses wherever she lands, a goal which helped her narrow the options initially. On that list are some of college basketball's powerhouses. If they want to land Amihere, they'll have to offer more than just a winning pedigree.

Jamal Burger

"For me, what's really important is skill development. Being able to develop your players," she said. "Obviously, a lot of the top programs will do that. And obviously, the relationship I have with the coaches, that really sparked a lot. I know a lot of players that are NCAA, so asking around to my friends and my peers that are in the NCAA, I got a lot of insight. They really helped me through the process, telling me pros and cons and really what to watch out for."

There are still two high-school seasons and two summers of international play before she'll set foot on a college campus as a student-athlete. With a rare combination of size, athleticism, skill, and work ethic, she is the latest and perhaps likeliest could-be star in an increasingly robust pipeline of Canadian basketball talent.

For now, there's the dunk, which is as important as it was popular (Natalie Weiner wrote a terrific piece at Bleacher Report recently that explored the importance of such moments). Amihere wasted little time in thinking of ways to channel the moment into sending a positive message. She's brainstormed ideas about a clothing line, for example, that would be targeted specifically to young, female athletes. "I'm trying to start that and change the culture out here, especially in Canada," she said. "I really want to inspire others, so I want to make tees like 'Jump like a girl' and stuff like that."

Jamal Burger

Amihere already spends time working with younger athletes, and it's her hope that her own success will help continue to build momentum for female Canadian basketball players. "I've heard a lot of people try to say, 'Hey what are the things you do to try to dunk?' So I'd also love to start doing camps to mentor the young girls out there."

"That's the thing that really motivates me every day," she said. "People are out here looking up to me, so I definitely have to live up to that. That's something that's really important for me, giving back, because when I was younger I didn't really have anybody to look up to."

Laeticia Amihere Is the Future of Women's Basketball published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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