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very-grownup · 3 years

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THE YEAR IS 2020 AND I WATCHED NEON GENESIS EVANGELION FOR THE FIRST TIME, PART 8

Episode 20.

EVERYTHING IS FUCKED UP. That giant robot? No arms, no head! What about this giant robot? Shattered pieces! This mountain? Missing chunks! This military base? Fucking got a huge bite taken out of it and now it's a bat cavern! THAT giant robot? A HORRIBLE GROANING SHAMBLING FLESH ABOMINATION UNDER METAL ARMOUR THAT HAS HUMAN TEETH AND HUMAN HANDS AND HUMAN FINGERNAILS AND ROPEY NECK TENDONS AND EATS THE ALIEN INVADERS WHICH I DIDN'T EVEN THINK WERE MEAT FLESH.

The rest of Episode 20 behind the cut.

NERV's relocating in the wake of ... that whole thing, although they won't have the magic decision making super computers that are the Three Magi because no one makes backups of software in Tokyo-3. Asuka is fine. Rei is in the hospital which is fine for her.

Those old dudes who may be holograms and meet in the darkened void on Simon platforms talk about some shit and get all metaphor about Commander Ikari and look I don't know what they're about or what their deal is but they seem angry at Shinji's shitty dad, too.

OH BUT WHAT ABOUT SHINJI ONLY I APPARENTLY ASK oh Shinji he's /still in the horrible berserk fleshbot/ that is wrapped in bandages like the most upsetting mummy with a single horrible eye visible and has just turned itself off. GREAT. You know in Silent Hill 4 there's an area where there's just a /giant injured head/ of the escort quest neighbour and it's really creepy? The EVA gives me strong those vibes but worse because we just saw it /eating a thing/ and people are just talking with it in the background. And the eye. The staring, horrible eye.

The EVA won't turn on and the plug can't be removed so they can't get Shinji out and also uh Shinji is sort of not there anymore? But he is? Shit's gotten all quantum within the confines of this horrible creature.

Misato has a lot of questions like "where is Shinji" and "what the fuck" and "why" and "fix it" for Ritsuko who is leaning full on into being a cryptic and unhelpful science cypher. On being asked what exactly the EVAs are? Oh, they're human shaped things made by humans. FOR FUCK'S SAKE RITSUKO THAT IS ALSO HOW I COULD DESCRIBE BARBIES AND GI JOE AND FUCKING HELLO KITTY. WHY ARE YOU COMMITTED TO BEING UNHELPFUL. Misato slaps her and it's pretty deserved. Like we just all saw a giant we thought it was a robot /eat an indestructible gun proof bomb proof space thing/ and grow itself a giant fleshy arm don't fucking give me some distorted Today's Special magic mannequin bullshit.

Shinji's horrible father? Wherever he is, he seems to be down with it, being talked at by that one old dude who is maybe one of the Simon holograms I don't fucking know man.

Days pass and it's determined from the scans of the inactive EVA that because of the 400% sync rate between Shinji and the EVA, he's been absorbed into it and the inside of the plug is just orange tang which is primordial goop containing Shinji's consciousness, quantumly. It's like that time the flat angel that was a weird space pancake black hole ate the EVA and Shinji's life support gave out and he had weird near death experiences but /for weeks/ and moreso and quantumly.

These parts of the show, in Shinji's subconscious/quantum primordial goo, are really well done and a really excellent use of recycling animation, still shots, all that sort of stuff, for narrative purposes. Using the effect to indicate the fading in and out of conscious thought. Dissolved Shinji putting together his identity and past and reasserting his ego with flashing shots of things from previous episodes, all going by super fast. Sound clips of characters saying his name over wavering, distorted kanji. Megumi Ogata saying "enemy" over and over again over shots of the angels and then shots of Commander Ikari which ... fair and an accurate conclusion to draw as dissolved Shinji remembers Asuka explaining that the angels are their enemies because they've hurt them/humanity. I'm probably stating the obvious, saying this in 20-fucking-20, but Megumi Ogata does such an amazing job voicing Shinji, especially in parts like this.

I've also said it before but the repetition of these things, especially negative thoughts or upsetting thoughts, strongly and effectively evoke the spiraling, cyclical nature of your thoughts turning against you, inescapably, when you have a brain problem like depression.

There's also a stretch where in the primordial quantum ooze void naked ladies appear and sort of come on to Shinji but also it's a lot of 'become one with me' talk which feels pretty different when a dude is dissolved ego in orange tang in a plug in a meat robot. Misato's there, Asuka's there negging him, Rei's there and they're all naked and stretching their arms out to him but also they all sort of merge together into I guess a primordial woman ooze and it's probably some normal teenage boy stuff but there's also big mom vibes. It's all very messy and there aren't really revelations so much as feelings about what might be revelations in the future and also /Shinji is dissolved in the primordial orange for over 30 days someone please care about this child/.

Misato cares about him, at least as much as anyone does (the bar, the bar is so low), and when they finally get the plug out of the EVA and it opens to spill out orange and an empty plugsuit, she cries and curses science and cradles the empty suit.

... Oh also there's like vines or roots or tentacles or /some shit/ growing over the EVA's ... power ... display ... thing ... Fuck it, man, I don't know the anatomy/layout of meat robots.

Then the EVA just, like, pukes naked unconscious Shinji out.

It clearly has nothing to do with anything NERV was doing and is just the EVA deciding to let Shinji go or Shinji deciding to come out of the goop because Misato's crying maybe? Maybe someone should have tried caring about Shinji earlier than day 33!

Nighttime, Misato is driving Ritsuko home and turns down her offer of drinks because of another engagement which is ... fuckin' Kaji. Getting drunk, smoking, fucking Kaji, just going for bad decision bingo. The fucking is all audio over a still of beer and cigarettes. I curse Kaji, I curse Misato's poor decision making, but she very bluntly lays it out that she's there to get information from Kaji about Commander Ikari and NERV's real plans and also Trevor the angel organism in the sub-sub-sub basement. This concludes my report on Episode 20 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

#neon genesis evangelion report #fuckin' kaji

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ii-thiscat-ii · 7 years

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And here’s something else I’ve written!

Trigger warnings for parasites. Certain other things too, like blood and surgery without anaesthetic, but mostly parasites. Beware.

(Oh, and for the second part, which you can read even if the trigger warnings scare you off, you might like to revisit the list of sheep in the flock.)

On Ao3

Dipper’s day began normally enough.

He had been bored out of his mind for the last… unreasonably large amount of time, and so had decided to try the whole human thing out for a bit again. It was going surprisingly well. He was pretty sure around half his neighbours believed him to be some kind of vampire or something, which was a very distinct improvement from the last time.

Right now, he was headed home after grocery shopping, which was a perfectly mundane activity, even if his shopping list was mostly sweets and soda. It was a bright, warm spring day. The sun shone, the birds were singing, and the first few bugs were starting to buzz around. One had even stung him earlier.

It was a small, subtle thing. If he had been anyone but himself, he probably would not even have noticed it, but he was and he did. For a fraction of a moment he even considered letting it live, as a tribute to the pure nerve it took to sting him of all people, but no. Stinging bugs did not deserve his mercy.

He was just rummaging around in his shopping bag, looking for a small chocolate bar, when he felt something weird. It was almost like itching, a small movement just below his skin. He scratched at it while still focusing mostly on finding his chocolate, and diverted a miniscule amount of power towards removing the irritation. It was almost as if he reacted to the sting, even if the thought of him having an allergic reaction to an insect was laughable.

His efforts to remove the irritation did nothing. He furrowed his brows and paid more attention to it, but still most of his focus was on trying to get his chocolate bar out of the bag without tipping the largest soda bottle out of it.

Then there was another sensation. The smallest on feather touches on his power reserves, so much deeper than any part of his physical body.

He jerked his hand back in violent surprise, throwing the bottle wide and paying it no mind. By the time he realized exactly what was going on, it was already too late.

---

The man they wheeled out of the ambulance looked terrible, arms twitching feebly and clothes splattered with blood. He looked like he was just coming out of teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. Still, when his eyes cleared, they were open and attentive despite the trickle of blood running from them. He looked like he was following the conversations going on around him easily enough, but Maggie had learned never to assume.

“Mister Pines?” she said, using the name that was written on the ID in his pocket. “Do you know where you are?”

His eyes turned to meet her, and she was sure that yes, he was completely lucid, if in pain. “Emergency room,” he said to confirm her question. “I collapsed on the street and started bleeding, and someone called an ambulance for me.”

She nodded. “Very good. Now, do you know what’s happening to you? Would you be able to tell us?”

He nodded, and she let out a quiet breath of relief. Patients with strange unknown ailments did not happen as often as the medical dramas implied, but they still happened, and they were never fun.

“Static worm,” he said. “I need it out.”

She reconsidered her relief.

She knew what a static worm was, of course. It was one of the many things anyone who worked with non-human medicine had to know, but were unlikely to ever encounter. They were increasing in number, but still counted as rare creatures.

They preyed on shapeshifters. Any kind of shapeshifters, from werewolves through selkies to those strange, bug-like, subterranean things. They found their prey through unknown means, and would proceed to lay eggs in them, which would almost immediately hatch into the larvae the species was named after. The larvae would then somehow freeze the shapeshifter’s shapeshifting ability, no matter how the ability worked, and feed on the magical powers involved until it was fully-grown and ready to release its offspring on the world, all of which was more or less traumatic and possibly fatal to the host.

They also never preyed on non-shapeshifters, like humans.

“Okay,” she said, jogging alongside the stretcher as they moved him along. “Then I’m going to have to ask you some questions. They are only for your own good and will not be made official in any way in case you’re worried about hiding. Exactly what kind of shapeshifter are you?”

“Nothing you’ve ever encountered before,” he said.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “The more we know, the more likely it is we can help you.”

“My kind is very rare and practically invulnerable. We-” He swallowed, probably trying to get the blood out of his mouth. She wondered how much of his lungs was actually filled with air. “We don’t show up in hospitals very often. I’m sure.”

She nodded. Okay, unknown preter. She knew the procedure for this. “Healing factor?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Damn good one, but this thing’s stopping it. Just get it out and I can fix the rest myself.”

“That’s very good,” she said. Then she called out to ready the damn surgery room already before she turned back to him. “Anaesthetics that work on you?”

“Only one,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. “But its side effects would… complicate things. A lot. We’ll have to do without.”

“What kind of side effects?” she asked.

“I’d get very high, try and probably succeed in running away, and if you did manage to help me despite that, I’d probably immediately kill you once my powers came back.” He looked her in the eye. “We’ll do without.”

“Yes,” she said. “It sounds like we should. Will you be okay?”

The way he scrunched up his face showed clearly enough that he was not looking forward to the experience, but he nodded. “I don’t experience pain like you do. I’ll be fine.”

They finally got him wheeled into surgery and onto the table. They started cutting off his clothes and he complained about losing his favourite shirt. One of the students joked that if he could complain about that, he was doing fine.

“I hope you don’t mind we’ve got students observing, do you?” Maggie said. “This is a perfect opportunity to see an unusual case.”

“As long as you get this thing out of me I don’t care what you do,” he said.

Maggie absently noted that without his clothes he was more obviously unusual, lacking certain features human males tended to have.

“Would you be able to tell us approximately where it is?” she asked.

He nodded again. “Inside the ribcage, cosied up under the right clavicle.” He dragged his hand over to indicate the spot. “Crawled through my lung a few minutes ago.”

Powerful shapeshifters tended to have unusually good internal sensory systems. She realized he probably felt that quite clearly, and she tried not to cringe. Working in Emergency for a long time would harden anyone, but certain things still got to her, and parasites were unusually horrible.

“I love powerful healing factors,” the surgeon muttered, cutting into the skin of his chest with little regard for if he would be fine later. Maggie quietly agreed. It made things much easier when they wouldn’t have to worry about killing anyone on the table as long as they succeeded in getting the worm out. Honestly, for being a critical case with an unknown species, the situation was almost ideal. At least the patient was awake, cooperative, and had some knowledge of his own anatomy.

“Your limbs seem a little weak,” she said, partially because it might be important, and partially because Pines seemed like he could use a distraction. “Is that something we need to worry about?”

“I kind of half-assed the body today,” he said. “Wasn’t doing anything strenuous, so I skipped on a lot of the detail and compensated with my abilities. Paying for that now. Should probably warn you I didn’t fix up any proper organs either.”

“Yes, I see,” the surgeon said, having just broken through his ribcage with almost disturbing ease. They had an odd look on their face, and they hesitated for a few seconds, looking down into his chest cavity, before they continued.

“Er, are those lungs?” one of the students asked, pointing at a couple of vaguely lung-shaped, muscled organs, one of which had a big hole in it and lay flat like a punctured balloon.

“The heart isn’t plugged into anything either,” the other one said, pointing at a lump about the size of a fist whose only apparent function was to make the sound of a heartbeat.

The rest of the chest cavity was filled with some sort of blackish red goop, which might explain where the blood came from, what with the heart not working.

“I did say I was half-assing it, didn’t I?” Pines said. “I needed enough to sound human and not much more.”

Maggie had to admit that having the patient sass at them during the operation was a bizarre experience, especially with his insides open to the world and also apparently torn up from within, while she could see his one working lung-substitute expand and contract as he talked despite his chest being depressurized.

Then she was distracted by the surgeon swearing like a sailor. They found the static worm.

“Holy fuck,” she said when she saw it.

She had never personally seen a static worm before, and she suspected neither had the surgeon, but they had both seen the pictures. They were white, shapeless worms with sharp spines sticking out of them, varying in size depending on the host. They should not get much bigger than her pinkie finger. This one was as thick around as her wrist, and almost as long as her forearm. It curled around his uppermost rib and had its spines deeply embedded in the bone.

It also moved, squirming away from their attention with vigour.

One of the students had to go excuse themselves.

“Just…grab it?” Maggie asked.

“Just grab it,” Pines growled. “Get it out, before it gets worse.”

The surgeon only hesitated for a moment before they grabbed at the thing, shoving their hand straight up under the ribs, but the worm squirmed away. It broke off several spines and slithered out of the surgeon’s grip, down through the lung it had already passed through, tearing the hole much bigger as it went.

“Fuck! Get it!” the surgeon exclaimed.

Maggie grabbed a scalpel and stabbed at it, to which it reacted by wiggling behind the spine. Pines growled loudly and suddenly, and there was a sharp sound of something cracking. It might have been one of his fingers where he clenched them against the table.

The surgeon dived for the worm and just got their hands on it before it could disappear through the diaphragm, whereupon Maggie stabbed it through the middle.

It violently tied itself into a knot a few times, spraying goop and blood everywhere, before it finally stilled.

The surgeon picked the worm up and put it in a tray.

“You missed a few pieces,” Pines said, and then they all watched as he stuck his hand into his own chest and pulled out the spikes stuck in his ribs.

He dropped the spines on the table and let his hand flop back down.

“If you don’t mind,” he said, “I’m going to pass out now.”

No one particularly felt like objecting.

They all took a few moments to gather themselves before they put their tools down and started looking for the needle and thread.

“Do we even need to stitch him back up?” one of the students asked. “He did say healing factor.”

“Yes he did,” Maggie said, and pointed to the edges of his wounds, which were slowly starting to knit themselves together. “He was probably right too, but we don’t know what he is, we don’t know what this thing’s done to him, his entire ribcage’s cut open, and he’s passed out on the operating table. We’ve all heard stories of people with broken legs who think they can walk it off. Never take a patient on their word that they’ll be fine unless you’re sure yourself, and this time we’re not.”

“We stitch him up,” the surgeon continued, “as best as we can, and then we keep him under observation until he either wakes up or we’re sure he’s stable, to make sure there are no complications. If he’s fine when he does, he can walk.”

With that, they started putting him back together. Or trying to. Maggie picked up a big piece of unidentifiable something that had been thrown around during their chase through his chest cavity, shared an awkward glance with the surgeon, and dropped it somewhere around where the lungs should be. He was still breathing, somehow, when they were done, so they assumed it could have been worse.

---

People on the street were staring. Of course people were staring, they were making a spectacle of themselves.

Lolonja sighed deeply and massaged her face with a hand, but said nothing. At least the hands were nice, if unusual. This whole situation was unusual.

The Master was unwell. That was the most unusual part of all. It happened, but very rarely and never for long. This thing that had infected him and tried to steal his power had left traces, and this time he needed time to recover.

She understood the instinct, to steal power. Anyone who had ever lived wild in the Mindscape would. Still, the mere concept that something so small could even dare to harm her Master made her angry. She was glad it was dead now. It deserved nothing better.

Most of her siblings seemed to agree.

The Master was unwell, but he was also recovering steadily, and at the moment he was staying in a human hospital. This was unusual, but also an opportunity, so Lolonja and several of her flockmates decided to go visit him, because that was what people did when their loved ones were hospitalized.

Unfortunately, the hospital did not admit animals. As a workaround, someone had the bright idea to disguise themselves as humans. Lolonja probably should have realized from the start how badly they would end up messing that up.

None of them looked human, that was for sure.

Groknar (the Destroyer) was a little over two and a half meters tall, had arms as wide around as an average child, skin as black as coal, dangerously sharp teeth and a set of ram’s horns on his head. Star (the Survivor) was about one forty, snow white skin with golden highlights in her hair, three fingers on each hand, a short tail and eyes that were bright blue from edge to edge.

No one else were much better. Lolonja admitted that the hooves she were walking on were not very human-like, but at least her eyes had pupils. Incandescence, who after an incident a few weeks after she joined the Flock would never again take a human-like form, walked beside the small group as a large, neon, rainbow-coloured poodle.

People were staring, and whispering. She swivelled an ear (also not human?) to listen. Everyone seemed to realize they were not human immediately, so that was a moot point. On the other hand, no one seemed to realize what exactly they were. Guesses circled around some kind of satyr subspecies, which was good enough.

Either way, the hospital came up in front of them, and they walked in.

They crowded around the front desk once it was clear, looming just a little over the receptionist, except for the couple of dreams, who could just barely look over the counter.

The receptionist’s eyes widened steadily as he looked between them, and he started smelling slightly of fear. “Can I help you?” he asked.

“We are intending to pay someone a visit,” said Devil’s Child, attempting to give a reassuring smile.

The receptionist flinched back at the sight of a mouthful of needle-sharp teeth. “Okay,” he said, swallowing. “Who?”

Devil’s Child seemed to realize that he was not being reassuring, so he licked his lips with a forked tongue and tried to hide his teeth a little more when he continued. “He is likely checked in under the name Tyrone Pines, after an urgent surgery. It would please us if you would tell us where to find him.”

The receptionist gave another nervous glance at the sharp quills sticking out of Devil’s Child’s hair before he started tapping away at his computer. After a few seconds of that, he looked back up at them. “So, er, you’re his… friends?”

“He is our Master,” said Baaasly.

Lolonja punched him in the side and hissed, “You don’t say that to a human!”

The receptionist paled, and she cringed before glaring back at Baaasly. Baaasly just looked confused.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Humans get twitchy about the ethics of person ownership,” she said. “They tend to react badly to that.”

“How come?” Thalia said, looking up through the bright pink curls that hung in front of her eyes (and grew down her spine and arms.) “It’s not like humans can even own each other. They don’t work like that.”

“One day,” Lolonja sighed, “I’ll have to sit you all down with a history book and teach you some things about humans.”

She glared for another second, (and punched Killer in the ribs for good measure, as she had mostly been snickering and not helping at all,) before she shook her head and caught the receptionist’s eyes. “It’s a… mutually beneficial arrangement,” she said. “Don’t worry. We’d just like to know where we can find him?”

“A- ah, yes,” the receptionist said. “I, uh, I have the room number here. Just, er, you’re not allowed to bring animals?” he gestured at Incandescence.

Incandescence sat back on her haunches and looked very petulant. “But I don’t want to wait outside,” she said.

“I… guess you’re not an animal, then.” He looked just a little shaken, but he did eventually give them the number and instructions as to how to get to the room, and they smiled their thanks and left.

The next obstacle they met was the elevator.

Killer read the sign saying how much weight it could take, took a quick headcount, and crossed her arms (and claws). “We’re not all going to fit,” she said.

The group exchanged looks.

“I… suppose we could split up…” Lolonja suggested, dubiously.

They exchanged a few more looks before everyone ended up looking at Star and Thalia, their two bright, small, breakable dreams that had insisted on coming along and should definitely not be left alone in any way for any amount of time, lest they may get hurt.

“Stairs,” Groknar said.

“Stairs,” Lolonja agreed.

They took the stairs.

They found the room just as a nurse was exiting it. She closed the door, preoccupied by her tablet, turned around, and stood face to face with the group of disguised sheep.

She opened her mouth and made a choked squeaking noise. Then she closed it again. “Sorry,” she said. “Didn’t see you there. Can I help you with anything?”

“We are just here to visit Mister Pines,” Lolonja said before anyone else could say anything.

The nurse swept her eyes over them and cringed a little. “There is a visitation limit of three people, I’m afraid,” she said. “Some of you are going to have to wait outside.”

They looked blankly at her, and she faltered.

“I… really don’t think there’s enough room for all of you,” she said.

“It will work,” Groknar said, crossing his arms.

She swallowed, and stepped away from the door so they could pass.

The room fit them all easily enough, though it did look as if it was a little bigger than it should be, almost as if someone had changed its dimensions from the inside. The Master looked up at them from the bed, a book open in his lap, and he had a look of utter amusement on his face.

“Did you guys walk here like this?” he asked.

Incandescence jumped straight onto his bed, tail wagging like an electric fan, and licked his mouth. He grinned and pulled away just enough to give her a hug and bury his face in her fur instead.

“We did!” she said. “We got some very funny looks and Lolonja was sighing all the time, are you okay?”

He laughed. “I’m perfectly alright. I just need to wait until the block on my power disappears on its own, since I can’t burn it out myself without taking half the city with me. I’m not actually in any trouble. I hope you didn’t worry.”

“Of course not,” Lolonja said. “We just wanted to visit and bring you some snacks.”

Then they crowded closer around him and handed him what they had brought of chocolate, cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and the jar of pickled eyeballs from his pantry in the Mindscape.

At some point as they sat there in what was basically a pile on his bed, another nurse came into the room, looked at them, and backed out slowly.

They barely noticed. Hospital visits were fun; they should do them more often.

#transcendence au #My writing #tw blood #tw parasites #tw gore

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