#LOL KIDDING JSKDFSKD

[zontiky]

au where reginald got all 42

*cracks knuckles* *my fingers shatter*

reginald voice: if i cannot bribe my way into having child soldiers i will CRIME my way into having child soldiers

reginald during that one interview in s1e1: *hides gun* the mothers have been suitably... compensated

me beating the shit out of him with my bare hands: i hate you i hate you you stinky old man im tempted to kill you off 20 years earlier in this au just because of this

anyway

reginald acquires 42 magical babies

i refuse to believe vanya is the only mega destructive little child there exists in that horde of children. i refuse it.

what im saying is that he goes through a lot of nannies

is there multiple graces? do they all look like grace or are they different so its less weird for everyone involved? does reggie even give a shit at all? i dont know lol so imagine w/e you want for the robomoms but grace is definitely a thing

bc the handler doesnt get the chance to crime on lilas parents lila is there too she can be #8 because i love her lol

wait wasnt it 43? i feel like its 43 am i tripping one sec let me consult the wiki

i think it was 43. im so tired so pardon me and my bs

ummm with the pressure of taking care of 43(42?) children and seeing their obvious unhappiness every single day grace snaps and kills reggie <3 queen shit

jk lol that would end this too fast and im not done talking

unfortunately delila is incest in this situation. sorry diego 😔

FORTUNATELY, there is 42(41?) other dysfunctional adults to help five stop the apocalypse this time. i want them to organize a commission break in. because that would be cool as hell

listen. with that amount of siblings there is no way that they dont all support each other. and if that sounds unrealistic to you consider that they all have at least 1 or 2 people that are absolutely ride or die, ultimate support systems for them. ok? ok

so basically nobody dies, nobody ends up on the streets, diego doesnt live in a boiler room like a sad gym rat (affectionate), luther is not on the moon and also not monkeyfied because out of 36 kids i sincerely doubt there isn’t at least one with healing powers, 2 if you count lila and her copycat tendencies

umm what else. allison has friends growing up and learns quicker that u cant just rumour people to get ur way and that actions have consequences so she never rumours claire and never loses custody and does she become a movie star at all? i say yes but thru talent this time and she doesnt use her rumour to nudge ppl to decisions unless those ppl major suck lmao

before anyone gets on my ass abt this pls consider: she deserves to make bigots lose important papers and hire her. ok. she can have a little rumour. as a treat. but shes responsible about it

i dont think as a 4 year old allisons power was strong enough to rumour 42 people into forgetting vanya has powers. so vanya keeps her powers and learns how to ✨control them✨

vanya is no longer a sad lonely violinist. she is a goth moderately well adjusted violinist. good for her

NO APOCALYPSE. IM SAYING IT AGAIN. THE FIRST ONE HAPPENS BUT THEN IT DOES NOT

honestly five might not even run away in the first place but i highly doubt reggie would yk. tell them. to prepare for an apocalypse. so theyd be taken unawares the first time without five there to warn them

but OOOH BC VANYA IS MODERATELY WELL ADJUSTED AND HAS AN OK SUPPORT SYSTEM SHE WOULDNT FALL FOR HAROLDS BS AND BLOW UP THE MOON IN THE FIRST PLACE... OHOHO

but also we dont know how it happened the first time so maybe its still on? idk lets say its still on. its on but only once

LDSFKASJDF EVEN IF THEY DONT PREVENT IT THE 2ND TIME THIS MAKES S2 SO MUCH FUNNIER

five having to teleport 42 other people to the 60s and then out of the 60s: ouch

AND THAT NEGATES THE SPARROW ACADEMY. COMPLETELY. THAT’S OUT THE WINDOW BC REGGIE ALREADY ADOPTED THEM ALL THE FIRST TIME LMAOOO SALKFJSH

they get back to 2019 and are like dad??? and reginald never adopted anyone he’s just living alone in his mansion and 43 random people just appear in his house JKDHFIWHFSH IM DYING OMG

ok back to the nopocalypse

lol im done talking so

grace snaps and kills reggie before all of this happens in the first place and all 43 of them have happy well-adjusted no evil parent childhoods <3 the end

#tua #the umbrella academy #asks #ftag #i really like this au actually?? like im vibing with it. hardcore #aus #misc #full house au #LOL KIDDING JSKDFSKD #no nvm. im not kidding thats the tag (for now)