#St0rmyverse
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AroAce Four, my beloved
“You seem like a really nice guy,” She says, “And I happened to notice that you always stick around for my whole shift even though you don’t buy anything other than your coffee. So… do you want to grab something later?”
Four sticks around because the cafe lets him sit as long as he wants and he gets unlimited refills of his small black coffee for just three rupees a day. The place is dry and warm and gives him a space to work on applications. It helps that the staff is nice, but Four stays here for hours because he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. He didn’t even realize he tended to come in when this woman was here.
But he can’t tell her that. He doesn’t want to embarrass her. So he smiles back, eyes flickering down to check her nametag. Erune. “Yeah, actually. I’d love to.”
---
AKA the fic where i put all my aroace dating experiences onto my fav lil guy and Four gets to feel my pain, but also my catharsis.
You may recognize this already. That's because in June I posted this to this tumblr. But it wasn't super good or well edited because I'd whipped it up in a day. So I decided to finally edit and post it to a03, since it surpassed my usual word count for such things. And when better than aromantic awareness week?
#hsh four#hsh shadow#townhouse au#hsh au#st0rmyverse#posting my own personal dating cringe under the guise of a fictionally story#romance still blows my mind sometimes#like#you guys really wanna kiss people sometimes? like on the mouth?#thats wild man#aromantic awareness week
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New Twime Fic Drop
The Team Bonding "series" continues with this latest commission for a very dear friend of mine. The group lands in Ordon Village, and there just aren't enough places in Twilight's home for eight heroes to sleep. A sort of "there was only one bed" scenario that turns out as you would expect for Time and Twilight.
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Holy shit, I did another chapter of this instead of A Family Made... I should be grounded.
#legend of zelda#wildlight#townhouse au#linkshipping#hsh#champlight#hsh twilight#hsh champion#hsh champlight#st0rmyverse
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@st0rmyskies ‘s aus gave me an interesting idea so it’s like an au of an au really- but what if a god decided to spilt Wild & Champion into two separate ppl after Champion regained his consciousness but the only thing is Wild cannot under any circumstances reconnect with the ppl he connected too in Champions body? He can talk to Champion all he wants but if he comes into contact any closer (to the Chain) then like a brief walk past in the street or store he gets zapped out of existence.
So in order to keep himself safe he decides to give himself a sort of half disguise half experimentation and just takes photos and makes art for a living instead, luckily the god who let him come back gave him a place to stay so he wasn’t just homeless but he’s completely alone only talking to Champ when the other has questions (usually on how to try to connect with the Chain as himself and not Wild). And Wild just has a sort of bittersweet feeling on hearing how the Chain is doing, happy they’re alright but sad he can’t see for himself.
He can’t really be upset at Champ because that was his body first, he’s just happy he wasn’t completely zapped out of existence, but it sucks being alone.
Some differences between the two is Wild will dye his hair whatever color he wants and when Champ cut his hair it also took some of Wild length as well, it’s still longer then Champs but not as long as it was before. Also Champ has both of his arms, but Wild does not (he has a prosthetic arm) and has little random tattoos and piercings, he also usually wears a mask to hide the lower part of his face.
Sorry if this was a bit rambly and confusing I just wanted to share.
#st0rmyverse#linkshipping#link x link#link/link#just an idea idk I thought it was interesting#hsh#townhouse au#this isn’t even getting into how Champ views Wild now that he’s a separate person 😭 let’s just say two way imposter syndrome for different#reasons
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I have no idea what to put here as a title so I'll just say that @miniscrew-anon inspired me to write a continuation of one of their febuwhump prompt fills and ended up with just shy of 500 words about Champion and the other two Guard Boys waiting around just after the little altercation at the hospital when he first woke up.
enjoy 👀
characters of course belong to @st0rmyskies
Champion studies himself in the hospital bathroom's mirror.
They'd be waiting on clearance to go home for a little while longer, given the… drastic effect of his head injury, so in the meantime, the three former royal guardsmen had a room to themselves.
Champion runs a thoughtful finger down the side of his cheek, before rolling his jaw to watch and feel the scarred skin shift.
"What happened to me?" He reaches up to rub a thumb over his ear, and notes the heart shaped stud in the shell that he doesn't remember getting. It wasn't new.
Sky purses his lips for a beat.
"It's… It's a long story. But the scar is from someone that's not a problem anymore."
Champion's hands return to the edge of the sink to lean on it, turning his head this way and that to see and feel again how the scarred skin looks and feels. His expression seems only curious.
They'd better not be a problem anymore.
"Why was everyone calling me Wild?"
"That was your nickname. After the accident, you lost your memory and before today, it was like you were a different person. Someone called him Wild Man at some point and he decided he liked it, I guess."
"You remember the accident, right Champion?" Warriors pipes up from the corner.
Champion squints at his reflection, shoulders tensed just slightly.
"Some. I remember things going wrong, I think an ambulance, but not a lot." He eyes the rest of himself up and down, bandages and scars and all.
"How long ago was it?" Champion rubs his side, feeling some of his older scars through the fabric. And some newer. Places where he remembered searing pain before he passed out the first time.
"A little less than two years." Sky's answer is maybe quicker than it should have been, he'd done the calculations enough times.
Champion gives him a quick, thoughtful hum. His hand lingers on his ribs, breathing in deeply to feel how the skin flexes below his shirt, and testing how painful the bruising really was beneath it. His pain tolerance had always been high, but it wasn't as if he couldn't feel it at all.
"What's the facial scar?"
Sky pauses again.
"It's…" his stomach works itself into a knot thinking about that night, "There was a fight, and someone held your head to a stove burner…" Sky sucks half a breath through his teeth with a grimace.
Champion is silent for another beat as his eyes are fixed on the mirror. Watching the reflection of himself and the space behind him in equal measure.
He makes another affirmative hum, and rolls his neck with several audible clicks before turning to rest against the tiny bathroom counter with crossed arms.
“Well, at least I’m not dead,” he says plainly, and maybe there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lip.
#mobile post editor is hell#hsh spoilers#hsh champion#st0rmyverse#miniscrew anon#mwah mwah love u both /p#poodle barks#i guess thats an original post tag
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If you haven’t checked out @st0rmyskies ‘s work yet please fest your eyes on her vast collection of wonderful stories (and works created from her au’s too!!)
A LMTCoY Wild from chapter 4 and those distracting smiling strawberries, all under the cut😌
Warning: NSFW
Also check out ripushko on Insta! She got me into drawing femboys, help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!!
#Welcome back to my shitshow! First drawing in 7 months?? It’s porn!#maybe maybe I’ll draw a background#my art#st0rmyverse#is that a tag??? that’s a thing right??#LMTCoY#I wonder how quick this’ll be flagged lol
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So I'm at Ikea for the free refill coffee, and got thinking about the home sweet home boys...
Somehow either Wild or Four got hold on one of those automatic Expresso machines, the kind that is usually way too expansive for a household. It's a second hand thing they got basically free from their work, whatever that is. After they fixed it up, it becomes a permanent fixture in the townhouse kitchen.
It's great, and with nine(sometimes more) people around, the machine is actually greatly appreciated. The thing is, it's a old machine, and for some reason only the first two or three cups after it's cleaned are good, what comes after is always slightly burnt. Which always leads to a fight between the Links in the morning. Occasionally drawing blood even.
Some other thoughts on each Link's reaction:
Wild does the cleaning of the machine after breakfast and dinner, and frankly doesn't care about the burnt aftertaste. If it gets too acidic he'll add salt to his cup, to the horror of the rest of the boys (with the exception of Time, who approves)
Time usually gets a reserved best cup, if he arrives before Warriors. Granted, he usually does, just Warriors is the only one that'll shamelessly claim his cup.
Yes Warriors prefer tea. Yes he'll steal Time's coffee whenever he can. To assert dominance, or just to be petty.
Hyrule actually thinks the unburnt coffee taste weird. Blame all the cafeteria and hospital coffee that runs in his blood by now.
Legend will take a good cup if it's available, but if he can't he'll prefer his tea.
Wind is the main force in fighting anyone else for the unburnt coffee, being the secret coffee snob in the house hold.
Twilight will make a active effort to get the good cup, but usually won't resolve to violence like Wind. Unless Wind started it, in which case all things goes.
Four's taste in coffee depends on his mood, the day of the week, and the phase of the moon. Sometimes he brew his own battery acid coffee in the garage, sometimes he fight for the nice cup with more violence than Wind.
Sky, well. He usually takes whatever is available when he wakes up. On a good day the taste won't even register until his second cup. On a bad day, well.
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"No, absolutely not. You can't get this one. I won't allow it." Sky declares.
His voice carries a surprising amount of authority for someone who’s sprawled out on a department store mattress.
AKA The boys go furniture shopping. It's more difficult than some of them expect.
Pspspspspspsps @lavibookmanmusings-blog I got something for you!
#townhouse au#hsh au#st0rmyverse#hsh four#time for more Four content#this time - shopping edition!#this fic gave me Thoughts about the Blorbo#i will post those thought later today#but not now. I just pulled an all-nighter doing this lmao#i regret so much but also nothing at all
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Miniscrews Masterlist
Yup, I finally got off my ass and put together a list of all my writing so that you guys can find things easier! Yay for lists and learning how to hyperlink! Now you guys can actually find all my stuff if you want (and I have an easy way of finding my old works too lol) The downside of being anon.
AO3 Stories:
You, Me and a Couple Loose Screws - Four is trying to work but Shadow just wants to be a bother, HSH
The Ace Space (is being invaded) - Four manually fixes everyones sex lives, LMTCOY
First Contact - Twilight calls up his uncle to see if he can move in, HSH
What I see my Shadow Sees - Shadow's point of view of HSH1, HSH
Like a House on Fire - Oops the house is burning down and everyone responsible is away, HSH
HSH: The Cold War - The house fights for control of the thermostat, HSH
It’s Something - A FourShadow exploration of their sex lives with an asexual, LMTCOY
180 Rupees Well Spent - The smutty Wartime sex swing fic by popular demand, LMTCOY
Old Car, New Roads - Four and Shadow talk shop, cars and future plans, HSH
Home Sweet Home: Oofs and Ouchies - My Febuwhump 2023 Collection, St0rmyverse
On Display, After Hours - Filthy Twark Smut taking place in an IKEA after hours, LMTCOY
What do you mean love is real? - Four realizes he's AroAce. While dating a bunch of people, HSH
He's Venting (seems kinda sus) - Time discovers Four's artistic hobby and has a bit of a problem with it, HSH
Add to Cart - The boys go furniture shopping and Four is forced to own his own room, HSH
Snippets and Other Things:
Perspective Flip on “You, Me and a Couple Loose Screws”
Ceiling Spider - Who wins: Shadow or a garage spider?
Dead on Revival - Shadow and Dark have a talk over Fours dead body, Count Darkula verse
Daddy Bram Stoker - Shadow and Dark discuss the father of modern vampires, Count Darkula verse
Silly Straws - Four and Shadow having a snack, Count Darkula Verse
A Dark and Shadowy Night - A typical night out for the skrunkly duo
Boys will be Boys - Just dudes being dudes
Ghost Kitchen - Four gets revenge on Wild, Funeral Derangements verse
Sex-Ed (or lack thereof) - A small collection of Hyrule and Four lamenting over the complete lack of safe sex and common sense the other links seem to have, LMTCOY verse
Measuring Stick - The boys have a literal dick measuring contest. As usual, Hyrule and Four suffer
What you find in the Dark - Time has a nightmare and Warriors is there, LMTCOY verse
Like and Subscribe - Yes Dark does and yes he will, LMTCOY Verse
Other Stuff:
HSH Castle Town House Layout - Not a story but a badly drawn house plan that I use when I write my stories.
A Small Exploration of my Blorbo (Four) - A small character analysis based on what I know about him.
These are in no order. I should have put them together based on which verse but I forgot and now I cant move them because hyperlink. oops lol. My life is in shambles.
Please let me know if any of these links are messed up. I am very bad at this and am a little high rn
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Like and Subscribe? Yeah, Dark thinks he will
(Is this the worst title I’ve ever made? Yes.) Twark snippet 🖤💚
——-
The lowrider with the constantly changing plates was back. Dark wasn’t sure when the car had reappeared in its usual spot but he made his move the moment he’d noticed it. He’d already wasted enough time and he was not willing to wait another minute. So at eight in the morning on a Sunday, he pounded on his neighbors door, expression already appropriately mirthful.
“Wakey wakey!” He sung at the door, “I need to talk to you! So get up and come to the door, asshole!”
After nearly a full minute of knocking like an overeager policeman the click of a lock stopped Dark. With his hand still in the air the door swung inward, revealing a figure cloaked in the darkness of his own apartment.
“Mmmnnn?”
Shadows' frame leaned heavily on his own door, hair a ruffled mess of a birdnest. He was half dressed in pajamas, as if he’d just given up halfway and thrown himself into bed with his jeans and socks still on. His eyes, unprotected by his usual shades, are shut against the bright fluorescents of the hallway. It’s a very inefficient and potentially dangerous way to answer a door.
But convenient if you’re Dark. “Oh good! You’re half asleep. This makes it much easier!”
Dark slipped into the apartment through the gap, patting Shadow on the back lightly as he passed. “Thanks for inviting me in, buddy. I just gotta borrow something. I’ll pay you back later, ‘kay?”
Shadow shuts the door and the apartment goes dark. He makes some unintelligible noises and shuffles back to his bedroom, face planting back into his bedsheets. He goes still, breathing evening out in sleep.
Dark smiles. He’ll take that as permission.
Dark gleefully swipes the wallet from the kitchen counter and makes his escape, waving over his shoulder at his unconscious friend. “Thanks a million, pal!”
The door shuts and Dark retreats to his own apartment, smiling at all his new credit cards.
—---
Dark scrolled through the camera roll. He traced the curves and contours of the nude body on his screen, biting his lip in appreciation. The way the photos were taken invoked an almost bashful aura, the mans face always obscured or turned away. Inexperienced with showing off his impressive body, the man still managed to capture a surprising amount of masculinity and power in the way he flexed and stretched.
Also, holy shit - that ass. Premium membership was so, so fucking worth it.
Dark grinned as he scrolled onto a picture that showed off Twi’s impressive backside. Yup, that’s going on his home screen.
Someone pounded on his door.
“Hey asshole! I know you're in there! Gimme back my wallet!”
“Well, look who’s up.” Dark crows. He saves the picture and snatches up the leather wallet from his bedside. He opens his front door only to be met by an angry punch to his shoulder. If Shadow was any bigger than an average pre-pubescent teen it might have even hurt.
Dark grins down at his friend. “Is that any way to greet a friend?”
Shadow snatches his wallet from Dark’s pants, quick as a whip. “You better not have spent all my money, dickhead.”
“Oh no,” Dark cries mundanely, rolling his eyes. “Goddess forbid I max out Kingsley Max’s credit card. I didn’t know you changed your name.”
Shadow pushes past the bigger man. “It’s the principle of things.”
“You don’t have any principles.”
“Shut up.” Shadow said. He tucked his wallet back into his pocket after checking the contents to make sure everything was in there. “Why the hell did you even need my card? You have your own. Did you lose it all in your liver or something?”
“Nah. I just needed to be untraceable.” Dark shrugs. He walks to the kitchen and takes out a beer. He offers on to Shadow, who takes his peace offering.
Shadow tilts his head so his shades dip low enough to make eye contact with Dark. “You doing something shady?”
“Maybe.”
“Good. I’d hate to lose money on something lame.”
—-
Dark wants to {CENSORED} Twilight so bad it makes him look stupid.
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About Dark and Shadow's Past
Finding out that Dark and Shadow knew each other before Dark went away was eyeopening, because that means they've known each other for a really long time. But exactly how long? And how old were they when they met? Time for me to do my patented Over-analyze move and scrape every canon detail together to form a rough timeline.
Okay so let's start with what we know and work backwards; Time, as of the HSH, is 38. Twilight is 23. And Four is 22-23.
We know Time was dealing with the Termina situation for years, although the number of years is unclear. The only information we have is that we know Malon and him divorced just a few weeks before Majora was murdered and Time was put in the hospital. Thanks to the hospital records Hyrule sends Twilight in HSH ch.4, he know Time was between 25-30 years old at the time. That means that at max the Termina Conflict was between 8 and 13 years ago.
That would make Time, as of his divorce and Majora's deaths, between 25-30.
Next, we also know that the last time Twilight saw Time and Malon together and happy was when he was "a kid". Not super descriptive, but at least we can say that he was probably 12 or younger. That would mean at minimum it happened 11 years ago, which falls neatly between our 13-8 year gap. Since I don't think there's any definitive way to narrow it down further, I'm going to just go with Time and Malon being divorced when Time was 27. And since we know that Time and Malon were newly weds when they moved to Termina (the townhouse was the first time they were living together as per HSH for the Holidays ch.4), that means they got married After Time had dealt with Ganon. Let's assume they were married for 2 years - long enough for the divorce process, Malon to grow roots in the city and stay after the divorce, and have a dysfunctional marriage.
So Time was approximately 25 when he was married.
Now, let's talk Dark's timeline. We know very little about him. The only truly definitive information we have is that he was caught and jailed when he was 19 and that his capture did not coincide with Ganon's defeat. He was questioned in prison, so he had active information that the crown was still using to combat Ganon. We also know that he was modified to look like Time. Being so young, he would have to have been close in age with Time, who I can only assume is slightly older than Dark. Also Time would have had to have made some sort of name for himself to prompt Ganon to create Dark. The process to look for someone to deal with Time started when Dark was 16, so that's another 3 years that Time must have been an active participant in the war.
Time didn't finish high school, so I think he got recruited at around 16 (not sure - I don't remember specifically. My mind doesn't hold Time lore like is does for everyone else lol. Please if someone's got that old post about Time's backstory send me the link so I can double check). Assuming he didn't get actively involved for a few years to train, let's say the Great Deku Tree died 3 years later when Time was 19 - old enough to be a participant but still young. A year or so would be sufficient to make a name, prompting Ganon to start looking for a double.
So during the Ganon War, Time is 21 and Dark is 16.
Time arrests Dark when he is 24 and Dark is 19. A five year gap.
That means as of HSH, after 14 years of prison, Dark is roughly 33.
Now for Shadow.
We know even less about him, if you can believe that. In fact just about the only thing we know about him is that he's around Four's age.
Four is 22-23. Let's say 23, to give ourselves as much leeway as possible. At first I would have put Shadow at the same age but if Shadow is 23 that means Dark would have gone away when Shadow was 9. Not impossible, but not plausible either - Shadow seems too young to connect to Dark and I doubt 19yr old Dark would care about a kid that young. So I'd say Shadow is actually a few years older than Four, maybe 25-26. That would make Shadow 11-12 when Dark was arrested. Old enough to have some time to form some sort of a bond if Shadow is mature for his age.
So that means that by the time Dark was captured, he was 19 and Shadow was about 12.
This may not be accurate - there is very little concrete evidence and there's plenty of wriggle room for change. Maybe Dark is younger, maybe Shadow is older. I have no idea. The only thing I do know is that I'm intrigued by these two and their mysterious connection.
These days they have that antagonistic friendship that is so typical for a duo of skrunkly criminals. But I do wonder what kind of relationship they had back in the day - some sort of twisted Big Brother Program energy? Or was it friendly with Dark using Shadow as a way to subconsciously cling to some form of childhood, despite how messed up both of them were. Or was Shadow trying to get a leg up by networking with Ganon's shiny new child soldier? Did Dark warn Shadow off of getting involved with the Dragmire clan to spare him the shit he himself went through?
I have so many questions and I am, as always, eagerly awaiting any information about these two.
(@st0rmyskies how did I do? Did I get even slightly close or am I off by a mile?)
#god I hope this makes sense#I know I just spat out a bunch of numbers#I feel like I need a visual chart or something#to make my brain scramble slightly coherent#townhouse au#hsh au#st0rmyverse#hsh shadow#hsh dark
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I just found an unlabeled WIP file and looked into it and-
“I thought that this was supposed to be sexy.” Warriors comments unhelpfully. He got tired of taking pictures twenty minutes ago and was now just sitting on the stairs, enjoying the show. Sky sat on the sideline next to him, here to keep the peace and make sure no one killed anyone else. Both of them were merely spectators to watch the chaos unfold up close.
Unlike Legend, who was just here to do his fucking laundry.
Which wouldn't be happening any time soon. Thanks to Wild.
Who was currently bent over and trapped halfway inside their washing machine, head in and ass out.
——
IM FUCKING CRYING 😭😭 I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY WIPS AND ?????? WHAT WAS I DOING WITH THIS??? WHAT WAS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT??? THERE IS NOTHING ELSE IN THIS FILE ITS JUST THIS AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT
#was this supposed to be smut? a comedy? my usual dumbassery??#this is what happens when you jot down stupid ideas in unlabeled docs and don’t touch them for months#you come back to gems like this#townhouse au#hsh au#st0rmyverse
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Ranking the boys in ease of gift shopping for because I can:
Wild - He likes a lot of things and doesn't care about the cost. $100 dollar bottle of wine? Awesome dude! $3 keychain? Sick! Now he won't lose his keys! (he still will) He's also super open to trying new things so even if you accidentally buy him knitting needles this boy will happily try his hand at knitting. He'll never finish the project, of course, but he'll still be stoked that you got him something.
Four - He emails everyone his wish list as soon as Autumn ends. No, Wild, he doesn't care that it won't be a surprise when he opens his gifts. He's not taking any chances with this group.
Hyrule - He's easy because he's always needing something. He's so busy he barely has time to go shopping for himself so at the end of the year he's got a huge backlog of things he wants. As long as you pay attention to him during the year and take note of times he say "I wish I had (blank)", you'll be golden.
Twilight - He doesn't care much about physical items but he'll be happy to receive usable things like soap refills and lotion. It's boring to buy for him sometimes but at least you know what to get him if it comes down to the wire. Although if you do branch out and get him something more risky, he'll be just as gracious. He's just a good boy who's happy to get what he gets.
Legend - Despite his prickly demeanor, this hoarder will take anything. So he's not hard to shop for, per say, just tricky. If you want to give him something he'll actually use, it'll take some research. You might even need to study all the contents of those mason jars he leaves all over the place. But even if what you give him isn't to his liking he'll at least be able to sell it. Or, you know, just add it to the growing pile of crap in his room. Either way, your gift will be happily accepted.
Sky - Sky's a bit of a mixed bag. He'll like anything he gets but he also doesn't really need anything. So yo have to put in more thought. Or, you know, ask him. He'll pick up on any subtle attempts to ask and just as subtly direct you to something affordable but nice enough that you don't feel like a cheapskate buying it for him. And he'll even act surprised when he unwraps it on Solstice morning.
Champion - Another one with a wish list. The only problem is that Champion doesn't usually want many things so it's a big rush to claim an item before everyone else. And if everyone gets to the list before you? Good fucking luck my guy.
Warriors - He would be higher because he also provides a wish list, but everything on his list is expensive. Either be ready to pool your money or empty your pockets because Wars isn't above exploiting the holidays for profit.
Wind - A little shit who loves to complain about everything and also, thank to Time, has newly discovered expensive tastes. Even moreso than Warriors because he mostly wants tech. Truly, shopping for him is a nightmare because if you get him the wrong thing, Wind isn't above asking for a gift receipt straight to your face.
Time - What do you buy for a guy with such deep pockets? Whatever it is, it has to come from the heart, which makes him the hardest to buy for.
Bonus:
Dark - Easy-peasy, this guy will take anything and be actually kind of touched you got him anything in the first place. Especially if you actually put thought into it and it isn't just a gag gift (not to say he doesn't appreciate a good gag gift)
Shadow - Also pretty easy. Food and fancy little bath bombs. Also foreign goods he can't just casually swipe off a shelf is also prime gifting material for him.
#townhouse au#hsh au#st0rmyverse#literally christmas eve and just now starting to feel it#enjoy some random hc
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Texting HC for the boys
Wind - Uses discord way more than text. Commonly mutes chats. He gets a million discord messages from different groups and he can't be bothered to listen to every time someone complains about the mountain of dishes he left in the sink. If you really want to reach Wind you have to jump on discord or go to his room.
Twilight - Doesn’t like to send more than one message in a row because someone called him desperate one (1) time in high school and he never recovered. So instead he’ll send you a whole paragraph and agonize if he forgot to mention something. Everyone’s told him its fine to send literally a million texts in a row but Twi can’t get over it.
Warriors - Will 🙌 ironically 😎 text 📲 like ❤️ this 👏. But only when he wants to be annoying. Otherwise he’s fine and he can use emojis like hieroglyphics if he wants and he’s able to make himself very clear with just an eggplant emoji and a raised brow emoji.
Wild - Commonly texts the wrong chat and confuses the hell out of people. Accidentally forgets his phone in the other room and doesn’t see people’s messages until its several hours too late btu still texts them back like “oops sorry just saw this man” as if they didn’t know. Uses emojis liberally and goes on tangents and makes everyone forget what they were talking about. The people love hearing from him, but its hard to stay on topic when Wild is in the group chat.
Champion - Full words, no abbreviations. Will straight up send you an “acknowledged” instead of an “ok” to let you know he read your message. Never uses emojis. Ever. The one time Warriors did convince Champ to send a thumbs up emoji to Sky instead of “affirmative”, Sky almost broke down the dormitory door because he thought Champion had gotten kidnapped and was sending a coded cry for help.
Legend - Spams the fuck out of everyones phone when he’s pissed, which is a lot of the time. Doens’t give a shit what group text he’s in he’ll fucking send you an essay one sentance at a time cursing Sky out for eating the last of his goddamn breadpudding.
Hyrule - Never responds on time. He’s always busy and in a rush so when he reads a text and it doesn’t say something like “help i got shanked and now my liver is flopping around on the ground like a beached fish” then he’ll promptly forget what he just read. At the end of the day he might flip through his messages to check what he missed but normally he relies on Legend to fill him in on anything important.
Sky - Forgets which group chats hold which roommates so he’s the guy who will start a new chat every time he has a question. Has basically every permutation of group chats possible and yet will still find a way to make more. And he gives them names like “get milk” and “hairdryer?” so you never know whos in the group chat at a glance. It’s impossible to find anything. Plus, he sends texts half-asleep that mean nothing when he gets woken up too early.
Four - His texts are inconsistent as hell. Sometimes its emoji hell, sometimes it’s MLA essay format. But two things are always consistent: you can always detect the sarcasm and he’ll turn on his read receipts just to let you know he left you on read.
Time - Texts in full sentences but overall is a normal texter. But he types with his pointer finger with two hands so his real crime is being old.
Dark - When he got put away texting was in its infancy so he texts like “G8 C u L8r” and “ur 2 much”. The first time he texts Time after he gets out Time feels his soul vaporized by the blast from the past. Thankfully it only takes Dark one text to Shadow before the boy is physically showing up outside Dark's door to bring him into this century.
Shadow - Spams dumbass videos and memes like his life depends on it. His job is a lot of waiting around so he’s got time to kill and you Will receive messages from him at 39 mph (memes per hour).
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HSH Pumpkin Carving Headcanons
It’s spooky time y’all
Twilight - The traditional pumpkin carver. Can make absolutely perfect pumpkin faces that look straight off of pinterest. Happy, sad, scary, funny - doesn't matter, Twi can carve it. He can pump them out en masse, too. When it comes to pumpkins, Twi is in his element. 9/10 Only because he’s limited to faces. But damn if they’re not impressive.
Sky - Does not carve a pumpkin. He starts to but then loses interest as soon as the guts come out. He stalls when it comes to creating a face; he wants to do something more creative than just a generic face but he doesn't know what else to do. So he ends up as Twilight's helping hand instead. He’s very useful because he can magically carry twenty pumpkins at once. It's his Halloween party trick. 2/10 he’s got no pumpkin but he’s got spirit
Legend - He doesn’t make a face but a sigil. A very elaborate, carefully crafted sigil to ward off malicious spirits. Stuffs it with herbs and charms too. Also he uses a very large turnip instead of a pumpkin to keep tradition. But he also fucks up cutting the lid and it keeps falling inwards and ruining his candles, which he bitches about even though it was his fault. 7/10 very atmospheric and aromatic
Hyrule - If he can get some time off, Hyrule does enjoy a good pumpkin carving. He's not great at it so his faces are a little wonky. But he has fun and that's what's important. His little happy pumpkin is an adorable addition to the front porch and Time is sure to put it front and center. 8/10 the littlest pumpkin on the porch with the biggest smile
Warriors - Draws an ahegao face on the pumpkin with a sharpie. His pumpkin is the first to magically disappear from the front porch. Banned from touching all future pumpkins forever. 0/10 and someone stuffs pumpkin guts into his pillowcase in retaliation
Wild - Starts carving, gets distracted halfway through. He scoops the guts out and then comes up with a great recipe idea and disappears into the kitchen to roast some pumpkin seeds. Twilight happily finishes carving his pumpkin for him and enjoys whatever amazing pumpkin flavored treat Wild cooks up. Wild never realizes he forgot to actually carve his pumpkin. 3/10 another without a pumpkin but he gets more points because his comes with pumpkin spice cookies
Champion - Carves his pumpkin very professionally. Looks up "pumpkin carving ideas " and then literally just copies whatever he finds. He does it very, very well too. It comes out looking amazing, if a bit generic. He cannot be convinced to personalize it in the slightest, though. No, it's by the book or not at all. Does not hesitate to defend his gourd by force when Warriors comes by with that damned sharpie. 8/10 very professional looking
Wind - Doesn't care about carving pumpkins. He hates the icky feeling of touching the raw guts and he doesn't give a shit about carving a face. At best he'll draw a generic face on with a marker and at worst he won't even touch a pumpkin. He's the boring guy who just puts a plain pumpkin on his porch. -10/10 he doesn’t even have the spirit
Four - Uses this as an excuse to use all his favorite power tools. His pumpkin comes out looking like a fucked up little freak. A true frankenstein creature that's half flesh, half metal. A serious safety hazard with all the loose screws that have been drilled into it. It's a monstrosity. The blood in it is not decorative: it’s from all the ankles of everyone who didn’t watch out. God help any unsavory characters who show up to cause trouble because Time will use it as a projectile in case of an emergency and it will be a critical hit. 7/10 very cool but actually a safety hazard.
Time - This man has zero artistic ability. He can kill a man with a knife three hundred different ways but can't carve a fucking straight line in this goddess damned pumpkin. What the fuck is this? A cosmic joke? Why does his triangle come out looking like a square? Why does his smiley face look like a straight line? Why did the damn pumpkin split in half? He barely even touched it??? The dude goes through several attempts before finally coming to something that looks vaguely okay. Only to then realize that he forgot to coat the pumpkins insides with vaseline so the local squirrels eat it immediately. 1/10 all that’s left is an eaten carcass. Malon laughs at him.
Malon - Another master pumpkin carver. She's a little more artistic than Twilight and makes more than just faces. Entire scenes and landscapes. Skeleton animals, a headless rider on a motorcycle. She's got major talent. Plus, she's won the regional pumpkin growing competition ten years in a row. 10/10 This woman is Queen of the Pumpkin Patch.
Dark - Enjoys pumpkin carving in a more freeform way. Draws cartoon "x" eyes and punches a hole through the pumpkin to make the mouth and exit hole. He stuffs a fake gun into the "mouth", guts spilled out onto the sidewalk out of the hole in the back of the gourd. Thinks it's hilarious. 4/10 His pumpkin is really ugly but he literally punched a hole through it so yeah that’s worth some points right there
Shadow - Doesn't carve but does steal. Menace to all gourds, taker of jack-o-lanterns. 0/10 Picks tricks over treats every time
#townhouse au#hsh au#hsh#st0rmyverse#pumpkin season got me fucked up#pies and drinks and cookies oh my
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Boys will be Boys
Lmao dumb thoughts go brrrr
——-
The house is suspiciously quiet. Time narrows his eye as he shuts the front door behind him, bullshit detector already blaring. It’s too early in the evening for anyone to be asleep (except Sky, obviously) but everyone’s shoes are tucked away in the foyer closet. He can't remember the last time the house wasn't filled with the sounds of gaming or remixed club music or just outright screaming. Especially when he knows the boys are home.
He toes off his shoes and keeps his eyes peeled for their typical nonsense. Time pokes his head into the kitchen, the usual hub of activity. But there isn’t anyone there. Just a few empty plates with crumbs and the pantry doors left ajar. He closes the cabinets, eye narrowing at the faint sounds of shuffling he can hear from the other room.
His investigation takes him into the living room. Stopping in the doorway, Time blinks at the unusual scene he walks in on.
Chips and dips and other miscellaneous snacks are piled onto the coffee table. A towering stack of DVD cases leans precariously over the fireplace mantle. And all the boys are lounging about, silent as the dead. Hanging off couches, curled up on the floor, even laying on top of one another in Legend and Hyrule’s cases. All of them seemingly hyperfocused on the television.
Watching the DVD screen saver icon bounce off of the borders of the screen.
Time blinks in confusion. He turns to them. "What are you boys-?"
"Shhh!" Legend shushes him sharply, eyes glued to the screen. "Quiet...."
Confused and a little annoyed at being dismissed so harshly, Time directs his attention back to the others. None of them, not even Wild or Twilight, make any move to greet him or even acknowledge his presence. They’re all too focused on the nearly black screen.
Time looks at the television and tries to see what they are seeing. Together with all the boys, he watches the color-changing logo bounce around the edges of the 86in screen. Seconds pass as the logo moves and the boys remain stock still.
With a feeling like he’s the only one in the room left out of a joke, Time shifts his weight uneasily. He waits impatiently for something to happen but no one says or does anything. His patience is just about frayed when Time feels a sudden electricity in the air as the logo makes two quick bounces in quick succession on a corner. The boys become alive and the air gets supercharged with anticipation.
"Ohhh...!" Sky breathes in quietly.
"This is it, this is it-!" Twilight mutters.
"Sshhhh!" Legend shushes again. Over his shoulder, Hyrule squeezes the pillow in his lap tighter.
Time watches the logo approach the corner of the screen, brow furrowing in confusion. His curiosity and patience reach a breaking point and he opens his mouth to demand to know what was going on-
The logo hits the corner of the screen perfectly, dead to rights.
The boys erupt into cheers, pillows and hands thrown into the air. Twilight and Wild jump off the couch with a loud Wooooo! and Wars leans down to grab Hyrule by the shoulders and shake him in unrestrained glee while Hyrule smiles back impishly. Sky laughs at their antics and Four raises his coke into the air and cheers. Even Wind and Legend have big smiles on their faces.
Time just stares in bafflement. Twilight grins sheepishly at his reaction. The boy extradites himself from Wild's enthused hug and wanders over from the crowd of excited boys. He claps Time on the back firmly in greeting.
"Sorry about that," He gestures loosely over his shoulder at the others with a smile, "We were just trying to watch a movie earlier and couldn't decide for a while. Then the screen saver came on and then. Well, you know how it is."
No, Time does not know how it is. But he just shakes his head with a smile. The boy's cheerful bantering and calls for "Again!" soothes his frayed nerves.
Twilight's gaze flickers from the other rowdy boys to Time's briefcase, still held in hand. His brow quirks "So, did you need anything?"
"No," Time brushes off his concern with a smile. "I just wanted to let you know I was home."
———
Heehee DVD Logo shenanigans
#hsh au#townhouse au#st0rmyverse#dumb lil thing#no thoughts head empty#the HSH boys#and me my head empty too#writing dumb stuff > doing my taxes
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