#THE absolute worst babygirl but also the funniest

[liesmyth]

btw since we’re talking about John Gaius + his melodramatic ass tendencies to quote Shakespeare and act like he’s living out the plot of The Eumenides, I would also like to shed light on a little-know bit of melodrama from the galaxy’s worst babygirl

This passage he quotes in HtN is the incipit of Psalm 27, but also the motto of the University of Oxford, where John likely did a research fellowship. There’s a Corpus [Christi College] in Cambridge as well, but Taz lives in Oxford and I think it was intentional; I’m going to go ahead and call out EJG for renaming the sun after a slogan that reminded him of his academia days and probably made him feel extra intellectual.

Yet another reference that nobody else in the galaxy will ever understand because he made damn sure that was the case. Highbrow quotes and none pizza left beef memes, who else’s doing it like him!

#can you believe he preserved the currently DEAD language of latin just so he could speak it & impress absolutely no one #THE absolute worst babygirl but also the funniest #ejg #I want to point and laugh at him for this but also. as usual. #I am confronted with the terrible reality that if I became god I too would be this self-referential and obsessed with my own lore #the locked tomb #tlt

[gyll-yee-haw]

Make me

Sebastian Stan smut

Hi! I’m finally posting these, which is a mix of two amazing requests by annons... hope you like it!

 Requests: Daddy Seb with a size kink + Calling Seb daddy as a joke, but he likes it a bit too much...

Warnings: Well... Obviously size and daddy kink, a bit of spanking and degradation (the usual), unprotected sex... Tell me if I should add others!

(Oooh I also added a link to a meme that inspired me to write this, I got it from the blog where I saw it, cause I didnt want to just steal the image, but if the blog wants me to remove it, just hit me up!)

Like 1,4k words

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Imagine that one day you came across this post

You couldn’t help but laugh. Not only at the picture itself, but at the fact that Sebastian’s fans were absolutely losing their minds over the fact that he liked it. Saying that he was some kind of rough dom. The idea of it was hilarious, cause your boyfriend was the sweetest person you had ever met.

One day, you two were enjoying a lazy day at home, and you decided to show him some of the funniest comments you found. It was just like that interview where he read some thirsty tweets, sometimes he laughed hard, sometimes he cringed hard, no in between. At some point, the conversation kind of died, and he got distracted by the tv as you scrolled down through the comments. You two just sat there in silence, you had your back resting on the side of his body and his arm around your waist.

“Daddy.” You whispered.

“What?” He asked a little too loudly.

“It’s what they are calling you.” You chuckled. “Daddy.”

“Oh.” Seb looked at the floor with his characteristic confused expression.

“Sorry, I bet this makes you kinda uncomfortable, I’ll stop, I promise.” You said, closing the app and locking your phone.

“No.” His eyes gained a brand-new light. “It sounded good in your voice.”

“Did it?” The kinky girl you were hiding in the back of your mind asked. It’s not that your sex life was that vanilla, but you still weren’t sure how far Seb was willing to go... and were a little afraid to ask.

“Can you say that again?” He asked, bringing you closer to him.

You leaned towards him until your lips were almost in contact, and when you opened your mouth, he prepared himself to hear the word “daddy”, but instead, you just said:

“Make me.”

His eyes widened. You laughed at how speechless you left him.

“Oh, babygirl, you will regret that.” He left a dark laugh escape. The nickname sent a shiver down your spine. You were so ready for this.

His hand that was on your waist went straight inside your panties, and he ran his fingers through yours folds very slowly.

“Look at how wet you are, and I didn’t even do anything.” He said against your ear as his fingers found your clit. “This is all because you want me to be your daddy, don’t you?”

You just bit your lip and nodded. His fingers moved slowly around your clit and you wanted to buck your hips, but his arm still held you very still and very close to him. The fact that he could tease you and hold you with the same arm, because he was so much stronger than you, only made you wetter.  

“It turns you on, doesn’t it?” He continued, and you had never heard him talking dirty like that. “It reminds you that you are just a little girl who needs someone to take care of her. Daddy will take care of you, baby, would you like that?”

“Yes.” You moaned more at his words than at his fingers.

He sighed loudly, making a shiver run down your spine. He didn’t like that answer, but it was too late to take it back now. With a help of his other hand, he pulled down your shorts and panties, and you left them fall on the floor. Fingers no longer playing with you. He forced your legs spread open and gave the inside of your thigh a loud slap, dangerously close to your pussy. The sound scared you more than the pain.

“If you keep insisting on this stupid little game, you won’t like where the next one will be.” He told you. But both of you knew you would like it a lot. “Tell me, honey. Yes what?”

“Seb.” You couldn’t contain a little smirk.

As promised, he slapped you again. This time it was a little lighter. But directly on your clit, which made you moan loudly.

“You’re doing this to yourself, not me.” He was growing quite impatient, cause he wanted to fuck you so bad, but he couldn’t give it to you yet.

You didn’t give in. You wanted to see just how far he would go. You silence made him slap you again, on the same spot, and your body was involuntarily trying to escape his strong arms and close your legs, but he didn’t even flinch. The slaps weren’t even the worst part, it was the cold air that hit your clit after it, making you crave more contact.

One more slap and the tears started to roll down your cheeks. You tried to stop them, cause you didn’t want to scare him. You didn’t want him to stop. But you underestimated your man again.

“Aren’t you a dumb little slut?” He said the most aggressive words you had ever heard from him, but kept his voice sweet. “Making yourself cry just to prove you’re strong. Daddy will always be stronger than you, baby. But don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you. All you have to do is say one little word.”

You were turned on in a level that you would do absolutely anything he asked you to do. So, you looked deep in his eyes and said:

“I’ll be good to you, daddy.”

He almost came right there. But he got addicted to it pretty quick, and wouldn’t rest until you called him daddy multiple times that night.

“I know you will, princess.” He smiled at himself, knowing he had you under his control now.  

He stood up and started to remove his clothes. You did the same to the ones you still had left. When he got close to you again, you thought he was going to kiss you, but you gasped when he flipped you over, so you were now laying on your belly. He held your waist, helping you get on your knees, and you could already feel his hard cock teasing your folds.

“Look at this, fucking dripping down your thighs, babygirl.” The sight was driving him crazy, but he wouldn’t do anything until you asked.  

“Please, daddy...” You begged. “Fuck me.”

“Good girl.” He finally entered you, making both of you moan loudly. “You learn so fast.”  

“Yes, daddy, I’m a good girl.” You smiled. Seb’s new nickname was already naturally falling from your lips.

And he loved it even more than you did. He didn’t remember ever being that turned on in his life. The way you had your ass on full display for him, and he could see his cock moving in and out of your soaked pussy as you begged “harder, daddy!” was definitely something else.

When he started going fast, it was heaven. That position allowed him to go so deep, and his length felt even thicker. He also knew your body very well, so he made sure to always hit the right spot, doesn’t matter how messy it all looked and sounded.

“Fuck.” He managed to say something coherent in-between all his grunts. “Will you cum around daddy’s cock like a good girl?”

“Yes, daddy.” You shut your eyes and felt the tension building in your stomach. “Don’t stop, please!”

Suddenly, you felt his hand wrapping around your throat, lifting your head from the mattress and bringing your body extremely close to his. One or two more thrusts until you felt him coming hard inside you, and the sound that came out of his lips was enough to trigger your own orgasm.

Once both of you came down from your highs, he took a step back, to admire his good work. You were laying there absolutely exhausted and still shaking. His cum slowly leaking out of you. You wanted to turn around and face him, but you just couldn’t.

“That will teach you not to doubt me again.” He smirked.

“Daddy?” You whined.

“Yes, princess.” He absolutely loved how that’s the only name you would be able to call him for a while.

“I need cuddles.” You asked sweetly. “And maybe some kisses and being called babygirl.”

He swore he fell even more in love with you that second. That was so adorable and so hot at the same time... Your relationship changed forever that day.

“Of course, babygirl.” He laid beside you, bringing your weak body to a protective embrace, and giving your forehead the most tender kiss. “Daddy said he would take care of you, didn’t he?”

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan one shot #daddy seb

[espooky]

Top5 characters from Okupas?

This is literally the best anon I've had in my life thank you ok let's get cancelled:

1. El Pollo. Sergio, Posho, What can I say, hes my boyfriend, my king, my poor little meow meow with a berserk button and a questionable taste in friendships. Honestly hes the absolute heart of the show gluing everyone together. King of tragic romances- also very much the mean streets trope of 'sleeping with your best friends cousin because you're secretly in love with your screw up best boy friend'. Just such a tragic character because you want him to get out so badly and the ONE friend he has who isnt a criminal insists on dragging him back in. The way Ricardo treated him like shit and he STILL didnt mind being stabbed for him. So intelligent throughout the whole show and makes you so frustrated because he could have gotten somewhere. Truly the most tragic character as he sees where everything is going and is powerless to stop it. The faith he has in his friends is heartbreaking.Also 2000's Diego Alonso is probably the most beautiful man in the world so I'm biased but Clara was absolutely insane to chose that other guy with actual life prospects and stuff I would have proposed to Pollo the second he offered me the cigarette.

2. Ricardo. On god I hate this little cunt SO much and still at the end of the day hes the sacrificial lamb. Normalize 3 years of studying medicine and still being a fucking idiot who thinks you can get AIDS from cocaine. Too short to hold all the anger and fear in his body but truly truly just a little shit. The bratty girlfriend who makes you bring her to the party and then immediately starts bitching that she wants to go home.Truly a summation of what it feels like to be in your early 20s with absolutely no fucking clue with what you want to do. Babygirl. A boy of contradictions. The worst friend in the world with the fattest ass in buenos aires. The origin of "why are you as a man obsessed with other men ". SO good with kids I almost cried all the way through ep 4. Smacking a guy on the back of a head and stealing a chicken funniest shit in the world that scene made me cry with laughter the first time I saw it. Okupas drinking game- take a shot everytime this kid makes the worst decision possible in the situation. Fellow pokemon and mahler enjoyer. Also I have a whole essay on how like 70% of his actions post episode 4 can absolutely be put down to trauma but that's for another time. I want to hate him so much but I can't. Would love to have seen more about his and pollos history. Love how they styled him to always look like a little kid trying to look tough and it WORKS. He is cringe he is fail and yet he is my son that I feel a need to protect.

Ok I'll be quick with the rest

3. Chiqi. BEST BOY BEST BOY. Yes he wants to buy drugs yes he wants to know what's in the kinder egg hes a man of many interests. "Lobotimia....... electroshock..." Sound of the summer. I wish I was chiqi like hes literally the best friend. Like yeah he had some level of responsibility for some of the shit that went down but still. Friend shaped, in ep 4 when he gives ricardo that big hug I've never wanted to do that tik tok project into a universe thing more. Also that time he almost beat the shit out of Walter was really funny.

4. Negro Pablo. I KNOW hes horrific but god what a fucking character. No idea what's going on in his head he literally looks like a 12 year old in his little kit but still actually manages to be terrifying. Another character, probably maybe the 4th so far in the show, where you're like "oh that's a guy repressing gay feelings". Idk hes just fucking such good fun to watch. Dante mastropierro should have worked way more after this its I'm so upset he didnt becausevhes fantastic.

5. Claudio Rissi Van Driver. Idk I always keep coming back to episode 5 and hes at least 50% of the reason. Just such a real character but also so necessary after ep 4. "In the dock you dont leave people like this" Yes hes fundamental in Ricardos downfall by giving him the advice and helping him get back at pablo but also the way he helped the boys was just idk man. He kinda sums up what's great about the show for me. Theres something about this older presence with an unconditional care for the boys that you dont get with any other character. Also he was sexy.

Honorable mentions also go to Sofía, Peralta and Clara who are great characters. Walter is not on here because although hes funny this is a Walter slander blog.

#okupas #im so sorry anon this is so late