#You're just hurting people for no Reason

[name-doggo]

Man. At this point, I really just gotta log into my Tumblr account on Desktop since whenever I go on the Fazbear Frights Hashtag there, I just see that one person complaining...

#Luckily They Blocked Me for No Reason #So I don't see their Posts on Mobile #But Like...Man #Telling people the Ships they like are Bland isn't going to make people like your ships #You're just hurting people for no Reason #And getting mad and posting about the same issues like people Disliking Angel or something aren't really doing anything... #It's just bringing Negativity to the Tag #If they do ever see this post #Which I doubt but like just in case... #Just make The FF Content you Like and that'll get people wanting to see more of it #Post about Angel so you can find the fans who like it #Post about your Ships without putting others down #Or at the very least don’t tag your posts shitting on people's own likes and interests even if it's in a joking way #Idk- I'm just tired rn #Ok Edit to This: #I'm fine with people like... Critiquing the FF Books and Stuff #That's not the Problem and you can totally post that in tags #I'm moreso referring to this one person constantly complaining about OTHER People's FF Opinions #And it has gotten to the point where they just straight up insult the ships People like

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a. #birdsong. #wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac- #in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really. #i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track. #and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy? #it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that. #how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love. #i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together. #i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too. #the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe. #so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc. #i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

[yellowocaballero]

Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?

Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!

I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.

I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.

I am going to talk about the prologue.

The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.

Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.

But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.

They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.

I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?

Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.

Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.

At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.

What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.

It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.

But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.

ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?

When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.

#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences #i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason #its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience #that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told #it's. incredible. #in stars and time #start again start again start again #start again: a prologue #isat #god and there is so so so so much more to say here #what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby #i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all. #i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did #but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim #and i write about it a lot #and video games about being video games are wonderful #as are stories about being stories #and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us. #never played a video game that used its medium so well #i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think #stories about stories have to be about why we love stories #and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art #i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while. #some people need to be anywhere but here #and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever #baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot

[asteralien]

i can't speak for every mentally ill person but i don't think "don't self-deprecate! it makes everyone around you feel bad :(((" is necessarily the all-encompassing bandaid slam-dunk you think it is.

#'you feel bad about yourself? well now you're making ME feel bad too :(' #wow not only do i not hate myself less i might hate myself for a few bonus reasons! cool. thanks 👍 #i just think that this toxic positivity trend of making one person's mental illness everyone else's problem #and the answer to mental illness is to just think of everyone you're inconveniencing/hurting by being mentally ill #which will absolutely motivate you to stop being mentally ill #is............ well! i'm sure it works for some people! #aster chat #i'm not saying that mentally ill people should not or cannot take responsibility for things #but i think people don't realize that some mental illnesses' problem is that it makes people take Too much responsibility #which is in fact. overwhelming. #you can't guilt someone into not being chronically guilty

[perhaps-mr-collins-has-a-cousin]

Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3

#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incoming‚ feel free to skip: #this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over #but i’m fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome #which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive #until it won’t tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated #usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips #(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologist’s case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips #and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips #in all the dermatological literature he had read) #i can’t follow the protocol which all the journal articles i’ve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall #leave the area the heck alone for at least a year #because if i don’t apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed #so it’s looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life #and i’m not dealing with the thought of that very well #i’ve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face #and not being able to take proper care of the skin there #and this is just too much for me #i know God is allowing this for a reason but it’s filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i don’t know how to go on #but i must and i will #this isn’t a serious or a life-threatening condition but it’s looking like a pretty hopeless one and it’s hurting me badly #and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do #i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome #on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies #and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting #(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said) #(it'll be fun she said) #ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc. #thanks for reading ily <3

[solradguy]

Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.

it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages

While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.

The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.

#asks #Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole) #I know exactly how these people function because I was there once... #When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do #Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care #All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did) #I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing? #I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else #People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified #It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic #I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally #I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol #Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized #'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man' #It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly. #There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now #Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently #Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context #So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

there are a lot of reasons i think pericles is really slept on as one of the most tragic characters in sdmi, and they start with how easy it is to connect the dots that he took a mind-destroying curse full to the face as an infant. one that breaks adult humans and renders them unrecognizable, when pericles was not only a baby but is from a species that is explicitly much more vulnerable to it. right from the beginning of his life the entity obliterated his sense of self so thoroughly that there's not even a version of him who shows up in the Sitting Room.

fuck, man.

#sdmi #scooby doo mystery incorporated #professor pericles #sdmi is fundamentally a show about the cycle of trauma and abuse--about breaking a very literal generational curse #and i think it does a real disservice to both that theme #and pericles' narrative specifically #that he gets painted as That One Guy Who's Just Evil and Abusive for No Reason #when everyone else gets the benefit of 'even thoroughly horrible people are still people' #'and that doesn't mean they didn't hurt you; or that you have to let them keep hurting you' #'or that you're obliged to proceed in a way allowing for the possibility they'll decide to stop. that's on them to do. and they might not.' #even w/o the systemic oppression or decades of torture and psychiatric abuse #pericles was a victim of the entity in genuinely and quite possibly the most thorough way of them all. and yet he made a lifetime worth of #choices and many many many of them were to harm people in horrific ways; to his own ends and for his own satisfaction #and like. what do you do with that. #it is difficult and uncomfortable to sit with that and draw conclusions from it that are neither 'his trauma means none of that counts' #nor 'okay yeah well he's a victim BUT HE DID BAD THINGS SO THAT DOESN'T MATTER FUCK HIM' #if there's any show that invites you to do that it's sdmi; i love that about it. but you can't leave pericles out w/o defeating the purpose #especially when the nature of his being a link in the cycle of abuse is critical context for exploring the trauma of his victims #the vast majority of what he does to ricky is very clearly projecting and reenacting his own trauma onto a vulnerable target #and just. aaaaahhhhhh i have so many feelings about it god #abuse cw #grooming cw #SDMItag

[cantstayawaycani]

Personal...

#just got racially profiled at my local post office while trying to buy money orders for my rent #i go there every month and deal with the same postal clerks #and they know this is my rent money #for some reason this was the day they decided to treat me like i was trying to commit fraud #i was so upset #there were three of them #all asian #which really hurt and confused me #two of them know me #i've been going to that post office for almost six years now #those clerks know me #but today they treated me like dirt #i'm so mad and sad #i need a stiff drink #i want to cry #but i'm a grown woman #I don't know why i'm telling the internet #my mom lives all the way in new york so she can't come give me a hug and calm me down #it sucks to be reminded that people will lie TO you and ON you because they don't like that you're black and can afford what they can't

[cruelsister-moved2]

i also don’t think ‘security in your masculinity’ functions as a cure for violence against women. in fact, the cure is (put simply) compassion and empathy for women, the recognition that women are human beings, which is something masculinity is explicitly constructed against. because masculinity isn’t a biological reality, it’s a social construct defined against a feminine ‘other’ and associated with power. traits/behaviours/embodiment that one culture and time period associates with masculinity are associated with femininity in another.  In that context ‘security in your masculinity’ means... security that you don’t have to behave like [insert racialised/class-prejudiced portrayal of stereotypes male violence here] to preserve the privileges you expect to be surrounded by as a member of the dominant gender class. the irony in the ‘secure in my masculinity’ brag is that it makes the men with genuine cause to fear for their place in masculine hegemony (disabled men, gay men, trans men, men of colour, jewish men, immigrant men, working class men, etc) more of a threat than the men who are most secure within it. and now, under this framework, striving for inclusion within the privileged class, fighting to maintain its definitions, and subscribing to its values, is... feminist praxis?  and of course, in all of this, men’s experiences are centralised in the conversation of violence against women. violence against women becomes a tribal issue between groups of men, a.k.a 'feminist’ men are taking fundamentally the same perspective as the 3750 year old code of hammurabi.

#its so lazyyyyy #and when people are like im secure enough in my masculinity to paint my nails or whatever the whole thing really falls apart #like masculinity is a social construct #either youre saying 'im secure enough in my adherence to this social construct to occasionally divert from it' (thus legitimising the #construct) or you're just subscribing to a bioessentialist notion of some fundamental masculinity #that still protects you even when you aren't performing masculinity #like. stfu #i really dont know where these (almost invariably straight) guys think gnc people fit into this. chances are they dont think at all lol #and i love how he draws attention in that article to how often the implied 'insecure man' is working class and/or not white #because it's like yeah you're a threat in your struggle to secure power (and ofc marginalised men often DO hurt women around them in order #to do this) BUT the men who don't have to do this because..their power is already ultimate...are framed as the good guys #rather than. the even worse guys. #anyway as always compare butch masculinity with men's masculinity and you'll find masculinity is not just a neutral set of traits that #just randomly happen to be associated with men for no reason #okay anyway im done i dont care any more im breathing into a paper bag

[hella1975]

by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn

#when the angry character finally learns to acknowledge their rage not as its own problem but as a coping mechanism to the problem #& faces at once the relief of finding the source of all this anger & the horror of realising that the anger itself was never the final boss #and it leaves them in a depressive state where they actually MISS the anger because at least that was active and - in a sense - dignified #whereas this just feels stilted and mopey and like each day is passing and you're losing time doing nothing #but you cant shake it anyway and wow im no longer talking about zuko!!!! we stay embarassing ourselves over taob!!!! #like i realised just now while staring off into space stirring my tea that the reason this particular depressive episode has hit me so hard #(aside the fact it's been a pretty extreme one and my paranoia has rlly flared up to the point ive felt honest to god CRAZY lately haha) #is because it's so DIFFERENT to how i usually respond to feeling like this #like normally my temper gets very quick and i completely isolate and i get mean and sharp #and i convince myself that everyone is out to get me and/or hates me and therefore i must manipulate everyone in my life #and ofc NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE A GOOD RESPONSE. I AM NOT PROUD OF THEM #THEY ARE ALSO NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS HOW I USED TO BE HENCE I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER #SLOWLY PAINFULLY WITH MY NAILS DIGGING IN THE DIRT BUT I AM GETTING BETTER ALL THE SAME #but STILL despite how awful those things are they're also very external. like i hurt the people around me in order to protect myself #and there's a dignity to that. there's more control there even if ultimately it's a lack of control causing it #like i have some fucked opinions from my upbringing and ik that like im quite a selfish person and it's bc i was raised to truly believe #that hurting others is always optimal over letting myself be seen as weak. like if my options are to hurt someone even someone i love #or let myself be vulnerable then sometimes i STILL will pick the former (it used to be all the time though <3 progress is progress) #and anger has always been sold to me as a very dignified STRONG emotion and it's how you're SUPPOSED to respond to badness #otherwise you're weak and a baby and pathetic etc etc #and just bc you know something is wrong doesnt mean you didnt internalise the fuck out of it anyway #like i will always see anger as the 'dignified' emotion and unlearning it regardless of that has been one of the hardest things ive done #('wow hella your own journey with mental illness is the literal exact same as taob zuko's-' i will hospitalise the both of us) #whereas currently ive just been sad and pathetic and oversharing to anyone who will listen and desperate for someone to look at me #and be like 'you're not okay' and to fix it FOR ME. like im not ANGRY im SAD and im not used to that response #AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS THIS CHAPTER BY PURE FUCKING COINCIDENCE?? LITERALLY WHAT #like it's been happening for a few chapters that we're finally moving from anger to sadness on my unofficial healing chart #ever since zuko's outburst with hakoda when zi se had that tantrum #but this is the first time we see Sad Coping Mechanism as a response to a problem instead of Angry Coping Mechanism #taob updates

[dragondroid]

One of the most important things to realize in life is that "this person is a human being and deserves rights and a chance at a better life" and "this person is dangerous to those around them and should be treated accordingly" are not mutually exclusive.

#prison abolition #restorative justice #people can have reasons for hurting the people around them. they still hurt people #and on the flipside. people who hurt others are still people. they deserve rights and a chance at a happy life #something something hurt people hurt people #yes this also goes for billionaires. and pedos. and whatever other group you're thinking of #like don't get me wrong I hate jeff bezos as much as the next guy #but just “getting rid” of “the right people” is straight up fascist talk #isolate them from society if they're a bad enough case #but they still deserve rights

[lisbonsteresa]

they make me so

#tm #the way she immediately goes along with him there's no hesitation and then she immediately puts them in the same boat i want to scream #because there's a way to read this that it's actually too much faith; she trusts him and his methods - weird though they usually are - #maybe too much - the 'one day i'm gonna get fired because of you; that's just how it is' route #(which is like that excellent tag i saw - that lisbon's 'a rebel with the trauma of having to be responsible' - #like she likes breaking the rules and jane breaks them in fun ways (usually) and his rule-breaking gets results #- the 'people might ask why you signed on with me in the first place' bit alsosheskindofinlovewithhimnbd) #but on the other hand there is a bit of 'such little faith' too because yes he gets results but she knows firsthand (and repeatedly) #that he runs the risk of hurting - himself; others; her - while he gets those results #and she's putting them in the same boat she's making them equally responsible for anything that happens #*unequally actually she'd take the brunt of any punishment/backlash as they both know #and you COULD (and i do) see that as her trying (maybe unconsciously) to temper him; to pull him back from going TOO far #whatever you're doing you're not doing alone; remember this is on me now too don't go too far #CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU; WHO NEED YOU #and like does the tempering always work? no; obviously; for multiple reasons #but for her to - on whatever level - think that she would be enough FOR it to work? much to think about #(it's crazy how it's so clear that on some level they both know she's the most important person to him #but they're also just....tucking that fact away until a moment comes when they can actually think fully about what it means #(which would have to be post red john but also they're just avoidant bitches too afraid to look too close i love it) #anyway i'm back at work so i'm back to thinking too much about tv shows that ended 8 years ago it's so cool and stable #(also rigsby just going along with it too lkfasdj i just adore them) #FUCK THE END OF THE EPISODE BARK BARK I FEEL CRAZY #TERESA LISBON YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME LIKE SHIT

[that-was-anticlimactic]

there’s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.

#i lowkey had an awful day today lol #and it was my first day taking over as teacher so that's a great way to start it #there are people in seventh period who literally despise me and maybe that's an exaggeration but i looked over their creative writing for #the day and one of those kids literally wrote about how he was having a good day but then it turned into a bad day when i started the #creative writing with them so that was great and other stuff happened idk and one of my tics was really... uh... present today and i was so #aware of it and i feel like everyone was laughing at me because of it even tho ik that was just me being self-conscious but God i wanted to #cry and i shared a piece of my heart with them today for the creative writing exercise and so many of them just. told me how awful it was #like someone straight up started with 'this song is terrible' and then proceeded to write a paragraph about how bad it was #idk. it made me feel like a young kid again - sitting by myself on the playground and reading books. like i was in middle school and #everyone was telling me that the things that i loved were stupid. like i was a kid getting teased just lowkey enough that the teachers #couldn't tell because it wasn't necessarily outright bullying but they were making fun of what i loved which Hurts and then i was in high #school having to defend what i love and then in college hearing 'you ruined this for me because you liked it too much' and it just. idk. #it hurts. i find sharing passions and what i love with others so sacred and important and it Hurts when they just tear it and you down and #ik they're juniors and ik there will always be people like that but it was constant and idk. i'm just sad lol #so anyways even if someone shares something with you that you don't like there is literally No reason to be rude about it. you're allowed #to say you dislike it but it's not okay to just tell them straight up it's stupid or awful or you'd rather get hit by a car than hear the #song again. hm. ig i have some unresolved trauma lol #sorry for the rant y'all i just. needed to rant ig idk

[muskmelon-enjoyer-199x]

thinking about the time this young 19 y/o guy i used to work with was talking to me about a bunch of random stuff and I said something about how he shouldnt worry about something this girl said on a dating app because he was just overthinking it and snowballing over nothing.

He paused a minute and said, "I guess you probably have more experience with women than me, huh?" I thought a second, but it was true. I'm not some kind of relationship guru and I fuck up a lot, but I do know more about dating and maintaining a relationship than a 19 y/o wannabe bodybuilder that watches Andrew Tate and has terminal virgin energy.

I said "I guess so, yeah'" and he visibly deflated. Like it was such a blow to his ego. I think maybe he was tethering his sense of masculinity to some weird sexual marketplace virility bullshit and felt emasculated?

im like a weird limp-wristed lesbian with a flamerboy 2003 fashion designer voice. I wear mens and womens clothes as I feel and often just have frizzy hair idgaf about because i'm not a public-facing employee most of the time anyways. if you spend more than a few hours around me it's probably pretty easy to see im a tranny no matter how hard i deny it and im honestly just kinda goofy and do silly shit for my own amusement. normies seem to like me alright and say im fun to be around but also think im a weirdo and I guess that's okay because I have some friends and a wife and I don't need external validation like that (or at least not desperately lmao).

but he seemed genuinely hurt and threatened by the possibility that I've been more successful with women than him and that just feels so weird to me. like why do you feel bad? It's not a competition and even if it was the women you like wouldnt like me and the women that like me wouldnt like you? Maybe stop talking about right wing bodybuilders and acting macho at work because those girls you like think you're an annoying closet case?

#internalmelon #this guy apparently talked to a trans woman on a dating app and didnt know #and his family shamed him like “that's a man! look at the hands dumbass!” #and he brought it up at work to tell it like a funny story (BAD CALL BRO) and they made fun of him too #and he was all weird when he talked to me about it and i said idgaf and wouldnt judge him because it wasnt weird of him to like her #he got all defensive but admitted he liked her before she told him but not anymore and then got weird when i told him both of those were OK #like do you want me to call you a fag or say you have to date people you dont feel attracted to? what was your expectation #like he seemed kinda offended that i didnt judge him for it but hurt that others did. who cares that you thought a trans woman was hot lmao #i wonder if he would've still been interested in her if his male relatives didn't call him a maricón for not clocking her #for some reason the “would you fuck a tranny if...” conversation comes up a lot with the men at my work #when i stumble into it i just say “sure why not” or “been there done that” and they get really uncomfortable lmao #like i get you're proving your straightness to yourself and the bros but why are you so unsettled when other people aren't paranoid like you

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know. #at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow? #it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker. #i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time. #but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him. #im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more? #just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him. #she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on. #she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him? #so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea. #but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

[novelconcepts]

Oh god oh god, that cringe response is so strong. I’m sorry I can’t help but open my mouth. Almost twenty years in fandom and I still feel like the baby that stumbled onto livejournal and tried to prove they weren’t a child by having opinions TM

my head is in my hands right now, I feel your damn pain.

I wish I knew why leaving comments was so hard. Well done you for asking the question, honestly.

maybe one day we’ll be fully grey and give zero fucks and feel like every time we leave a comment we’re Gertrude Steining a creator. In the meantime we just share a vague ‘I liked this’ shame and get to live in that awkward silence of not knowing how support is received. Here’s to being dominoes balanced on the edge 🤘

All of this, genuinely. I think about it all the time, and maybe it’s that we’ve been socialized to associate sincerity with childishness and/or (negative, harmful) obsession? Which: as a creator, as an artist, I fucking LIVE for sincerity. I love when people come back to the stuff I make with their whole chest. There’s absolutely nothing off-putting about it. I welcome that shit every time.

So then the question becomes: why is earnestness fair and even endearing from other people, but I must be above it myself? Why do I always hold myself to a standard unlike any I’d set for a stranger? It’s bonkers. And it merits not only questioning, but actively repairing in myself. I love authentic positive reactions to my art and to my queerness. Of course other people deserve the same from me. Bonk that mortification over the head until it stops squirming, and just let the joy in.

#ask #so much of internet comment sections is about hurting people #so there’s absolutely no shame or embarrassment in using those sections to say #hey dude I fucking love this thing you made. I love the representation you bring to the table. you’re doing a good job keep it up. #that’s valuable. and the cringe part of me can just lay down and chill out about it #(helped that I woke up to JSB liking the most recent earnest comment I made. like oh thank god you took that as intended.) #(but even if no response is ever given it makes MORE sense to assume that kind of supportive comment will be well received than not) #(assuming they're just gonna think you're a nut for no reason is giving no credit whatsoever to either party.) #(it IS normal to like things and to praise the things you like. it IS normal to give positive feedback. essential even.) #(so like. just gotta jam that into my noggin.)