#adhd kicked my ass yesterday so i ended up skipping it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

icequeen1371 · 7 months

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My daughter made me a sushi bowl to cheer me up😭💜I had to tell my good friend that I can’t make it to her wedding in late Oct. I was REALLY looking forward to it & planned so hard for it. Got my passport applied for in time so it would be mailed to me in plenty of time, saved money (what little I could cuz I’m on a super tiny fixed income) and got some cool little things for the bride & her groom that we’re suited to their likes and personality. Even made a Wicca box for her to store her tarot cards in, my daughter made the bride a necklace....so much planning. Then my bff who was supposed to have her shot together, discovers she needs a certain certificate for her passport application and she tries getting it from the courthouse, and after 6 weeks it still hasn’t come in. She swore she had her shot together and no problem no problem, don’t worry, we’re going FOR SURE, it’ll be so much fun, we really need this get away etc and all this was after her telling her brother and stepsister that she couldn’t go to a weeklong trip to Cuba the week before that because she would only be getting back the day before we had to make a 10 Hour Dr. to Kentucky. And she was in such a bitchy mood when she told me yesterday too. Just blurted it out. “Yeah, you know we’re not gonna be going right?“. She’s done a lot of work on yourself, but honestly? When she gets in moods like that, it makes me think she did it on purpose. Because at her core when something does not concern her or she feels as though her life is getting terrible [she’s one of those FML people that lets one thing ruin her entire day] she gets extremely selfish and starts talking like she wants to end it all. She never means it. Ever. And she says it like it’s a joke like it’s OK to say it just because she’s in a bad mood. As though that something that’s OK to joke about. Meanwhile, myself and my daughter are in the car, both with depression and taking meds for it, and she saying stuff like that. Really? But it’s like those people that have blind tempers, they don’t notice the effect that they’re having on other people until afterwards pet. I’m not excusing it at all, trust me. Pisses me off when she does it and it makes me resent her. But still. Anyways, it’s starting to feel like she did it on purpose. Like I said. It doesn’t mean she is, I could just be resentful and pissy that her ADHD had her sit on her ass for the 2 1/2 months prior when she had plenty of money to apply for her passport and should have done so, but didn’t. Just pisses me off. Because honestly, if I had my own car, I have my passport. I have the money. I would just go on my own. Anyone in Southwest Ontario wanna go to a costumed wedding the weekend before Halloween? LOL paid glamping tent included? LOL JK. Anyways, someone ordered a cheer me up, this is what my daughter made me. I slept in a lot today which I really need it. But after a very very long bath I was scrubbing myself from head to toe, my chronic illness kicked in and I’m absolutely exhausted. But then I realized I hadn’t eaten all day. So she made me this. Made me notice that I’m actually starving. I have a funny feeling that from now until November 1, I’m going to be depressed and in this mood and getting easily triggered by saying Halloween things or a forest with changing leaves because we were going to be in the middle of a forest for the wedding, it’s just making me feel like I want to skip fall this year which is very much not like me. Siiiiiiigh. And of course I’m coping with it all by using dark humor, sarcasm and putting LOL at the end of everything. Make no wonder people never think of me as bad off as I say I am.

#chronic illness #chronic pain #depression #fall wedding #cancel my plans #kentucky #I miss my friend #sonofabxtch #sushi bowl

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