#also canadian french is SO much less pretentious than french

[pog-with-a-blog]

So like the accents in my canadian french playlist are so strong i literally can’t understand them sometimes (tu veh vwah / jeh peux lah fah / jeh teh vwah) and like. I speak french well enough to not understand someone because of their accent, not because I just don’t speak it well enough. C’est fuckin génial

#mp #mostly it's fine but sometimes #also that makes me feel so much better about not understanding alot of the french i heard when i visited canada #also canadian french is SO much less pretentious than french #it's like fuck your grammar #fuck your fancy french #fuck your argent #our money is bacon #and we pronounce je me te like that annoying girl from french one who needed to get her shit together #(the one who said je with the same vowel as pen not the same vowel as day) #(jay girl was a whole new level of annoying she belongs in heck) #(along with god dammit I'm rambling) #(along with the fucking bitch who pronounces un like une but not nasally) #(i know that was a less universal problem but fuck her) #(she also pronounced huit ad reet and oui as ree) #(all because our teacher had an accent and there was a sliiiight r sound at the beginning of those words) #(but 1. it was not NEARLY that strong and 2. everyone else was smart enough to know that was just a ms shipman thing) #(she was that same fuckin bitch who was like «I have the highest grade in the class so that means I'm the smartest person here») #(like bitch you still pronounce the -ent sit down) #/rant

[letsgoroundagain]

To the Check Please fandom: I love you, but you guys are missing out on something that I think you’ll love. 

It’s called You Could Make a Life 

The latest Check Please update currently has over 12,000 notes on tumblr and the ycmal chapter with the most likes and comments has less than 1000. Based on how great ycmal is, I can only assume that you guys are unaware of its existence or these numbers would be more similar. 

It’s superficially similar to Check Please in that every story is about a gay, male, hockey player and his life on and off the rink. 

Keep reading for my pitch or just go straight here and treat yourself to some fantastic writing 

Ycmal is a series of stories that exist in the same universe but can each be read independently. There are nine (NINE!) complete stories ranging from less than 4000 words to 158,966 words (trust me, when you read this long one, you’ll be grateful for the length). 

In addition, there are so so many short snippets about the characters. Think Ngozi’s extras but this is where the author’s incredible generosity comes in. Most of these stories are based on direct requests from readers and they range from “everybody’s cats!” to bodyguard AUs. If you’re still not convinced then read on. 

To borrow some quotes from that amazing Check Please primer that went around for a long time:

What’s that you like zany casts? 

Dan Riley: The gateway drug and a true romantic 

Marc Lapointe: Shitty’s social justice in an almost Bitty-sized body but with more pretentiousness, and he’s French! (Canadian)

Ulf Larsson: Swedish sex god who makes bad decisions 

“Vinny” Vincent: His teammates call him Bambi and he’s a goalie

Anton Petrov: Angry bub defence man

David Chapman: Seriously his character development is the most amazing thing. You will LOVE him

Jake Lourdes: We voted on what we thought of him and half of the suggestions were some variant of “golden retriever”

This isn’t anywhere nearly all of the characters. I haven’t even touched on the supporting characters and they’re all delightful

Are main character guy and pupil guy going to kiss? (No, nobody stylistically differs by having pupils but they all have pupils so it still fits)

There is pretty much always kissing ;)

How do I read every [ycmal story] ever? 

Good question, we’ve got you covered. 

This is the author’s Archive of Our Own page, which has all the official plotted stories

This is the author’s tumblr, which has all of the extras and also where you should go when you need to yell at someone once you’re crying

OKAY YOU GOT ME (hopefully). Here are a few hours of my life. What do I need to do to get into this rad universe?

Good question, we’ve got you covered. Again, we voted. 

The number one recommendation as long as you’re up for paying for a novel right now is purchasing You Could Make a Life here. This is the namesake of the whole universe, the epic love story of Dan and Marc and a book that I have read approximately six separate times not including the times I’ve read sections. 

The number two recommendation depends on what you’re feeling right now. 

- between the teeth is my personal favourite. It is absolutely incredible in terms of plot and character development, and it has a lot of my favourite characters. (Hold your breath for Kiro people, then you can use the breath you saved to laugh your ass off) This is the long one though so maybe the next suggestion?

- Vinny gets a life would be an amazing first entrance to this universe. Vinny is a super fun narrator and the story and central relationship are both compelling

- In taking it apart has the tagline “He made his bed and then he fucked a teenager in it.” This one earns an Explicit rating on ao3 more than any of the others

- No expectation of returns is the ultimate friends to lovers so if that’s your jam, start here first

Just please don’t start with throw up your fists, throw out your wits because that one can be emotionally tough to get through. 

You guys, Check Please is an incredible and unique work of art but everyone I know that loves ycmal loves Check Please so I think they cater to similar tastes. Give these stories some love and improve your lives. 

#youcouldmakealife #omgcheckplease #ycmal #long post

[saad-sack]

La barrière de langue (The Language Barrier) – Jonathan Drouin

A/N: Hello people of Tumblr!!! Sorry about taking so long to update, I will work much harder to post more often… but thank you to everyone who has been reading the imagines posted and huge thank you to @had-to-skjei-it for all the hard work she puts into the imagines! This one is written by her and it’s set to take place before the trade happened, so Drouin still plays for the Lightning, not the Habs. Also, when he mistranslates something, or doesn’t provide a translation at all, I’ll add a correct translation in parenthesis. If the translation is correct, no parenthesis will be provided.

Warnings- Steam, swearing

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~• 
You spent the past two hours locked in your Tampa Bay apartment crying. You didn’t want him to go. You loved him so much and its tearing you to pieces that you wanted to surprise him in his apartment and see him with another girl. You try to forget, but everything reminds you of him. The window curtains were the same color as his eyes. The covers on your bed hugged you just like he did when you cuddled. The pink flowers on your nightstand matched the softness and color of his gentle lips that made contact with another girl. Your brain was against you. Replaying that memory that is causing you so much pain.

You curled yourself into a ball. You shoved your face in your pillow (that soon became soaked with your tears). You covered yourself with your covers so no one could ever find you.

You feel a hand on your back, through the covers. It had to be your imagination, your brain wanted to play more tricks on you to make you feel even worse. You could almost hear him say “Hey (y/n)”.

But the voice was different. An unknown force pulled the covers off just enough to reveal your face. You find the face of Jonathan smiling back at you.

“I heard about what happened with your man so I decided to pay you a visit, After all, I am your best friend,” He said with a smile. “And I know you keep a spare set of keys under your doormat.”

You and Jo have been close ever since he moved to Florida from Canada. You always knew how to cheer him up and he always knew how to cheer you up. When you saw his comforting face, you couldn’t help but feel relaxed. You could feel your body loosen itself from the tight ball you were in, but you still had tears streaming from your face.

Jonathan gave you an awkward face, and used his thumb to wipe the tears off your cheek.

Cradling your head in his large hand he said, “Ne pleure pas, je suis là,” He smiled again. “Don’t cry, I’m here.”

He had no idea how sexy he sounded when he spoke french to you. It just came naturally to him, growing up in Quebec and all. You knew no french at all so you always hope that what he says in english right after is a good translation.

“Viens ici, à côte de moi.” He sat on the edge of your bed and put his arm around you. “Come here, next to me.”

You sniffled a bit, and scooted a bit closer to him. You’ve known Jo for years, and you wouldn’t dare let on that you had feelings for him. After all, you are American. He is Canadian. You love hot weather. He loves cold weather. You can’t speak french. His first language is french. You are a student. He is a professional hockey player. It was a miracle that you two were friends in the first place. There was no way he would go for you at all.

“Don’t be afraid of me. I won’t bite!” He laughed as he pulled you in closer. You were so close to him that you could smell his cologne. It was so aromatic that you smiled as you inhaled.

“There’s the smile I was looking for. That’s my girl,” he said as he coaxed your head on his chest. “Now that I’ve gotten that beautiful smile out of you, what do you want to do? Wanna see a movie? Walk around outside? S’embrasser (kiss)?” He didn’t give a translation for that last word. Strange.

“Jo? What’s that last word mean?”

“Hang out.” He said with a very straight face.

“Ok. Let’s do that. I don’t want to get up.” “We can just talk for a while. Is that a good idea, ma chérie (my darling)?” He paused and stared at you right in the eyes for a couple seconds, “My friend.”

“Fine. What’s there to say?”

“That man was a fool to cheat on you. Only a complete moron would do that to someone as nice, smart and beautiful as you. He has no idea what he’s missing out on. You know what? Don’t you worry about men. They’re useless anyway. My Québécois grandmother used to tell me that men were like snowstorms. You never knew when they’re were going to come, how many inches you’d get, or how long they’ll last. Oh wait, I am a man.” Jo started laughing at his own joke, and his laugh was so contagious that you joined him.

“What I’m trying to say is I’m not a moron. I wouldn’t cheat on you or leave you or do anything that would be less than perfect for you.” He gave you a warm smile and leaned his head on your head for a second.

“Actually Jo, there was that time when you were trying to show off to me how well you could skate and you forgot to take off your skate guards and you fell face first into the ice. That was pretty moronic, Wouldn’t you say?” He was so good at getting your spirits up. He really was the perfect man. “And Jo, there was also that time when you-“

Your heart skipped a beat. Your eyes widened, and then closed lightly. Was this really happening? Was Jonathan Drouin really kissing you? Did he really go in for that? He started the kiss all on his own. Your lips danced in a perfect rhythm for a few seconds until he released.

“C’est magnifique. Tu es parfait. Je te veux. Ici. Maintenant. You’re magnificent. You’re perfect. I want you. Right here. Right now,” he growled as he ran his hand through your hair and went in for some more.

Whatever wall there was between you was shattered in that instant. Your lips, tongues, and teeth fought with each other for what seemed like forever. You only paused when he pulled off your shirt, and when you pulled of his.

“I love you,” you managed to say between kisses.

“J'attends depuis si longtemps ce moment. Je t’aimais depuis le moment où je t’ai regardé pour la première fois. I’ve been waiting so long for this moment. I loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you.” You moaned as he unclipped your bra. “(Y/n), sache que je t’ai toujours aimée, que je n’ai aimé que toi. Believe me, I’ve always loved you, I’ve never loved anyone else.”

You were still in shock that this was happening. You didn’t know what to say. You only knew enough to kiss him back.

“Regardes-moi dans les yeux! Regardes mes putain de yeux québécois! Look at me in the eyes! Look at my fucking québécois eyes!” His eyes were bright and savage. “Look at the desire in them. They want you.”

You were so caught up in what was happening that you decided to play along with his dirty talk. “Hold me, Jo. Hold me so fucking close to you. I want to feel you breathe on me.” You moaned as he kissed your face and neck.

“Nous ne sommes plus ‘simplement des amis’. Nous ne prétendons pas être des gens que nous ne sommes pas. Je t’aime et tu m’aime. Nous sommes parfait l’un pour l’autre. (We aren’t simply "just friends” anymore. We aren’t pretentious to be people that we aren’t. We are perfect for each other.)” He smirked when he said this last line, and gave you a wild smile.

You were too busy kissing Jonathan to hear the sound of his belt unbuckling. He thrusted his body against yours. Biting your ear he whispered “Je t'aime (I love you).”

#jonathan drouin #nhl imagines #jonathan drouin imagine

[vivianrhopper85]

5 Toronto’s Most Unusual Restaurants

The Internet loves lists: the top 10 action movies, the worst 10 football fumbles, the 10 most watched Oscar moments, and six easy weight-loss secrets of the rich and famous. The list goes on.

Well, here is yet another list, but with a caveat; when you're dealing with a place as large and diverse as Toronto, titles like 'best' and 'worst' are even more troublesome than usual. Given that,  the places below aren't the absolutely, no-doubt-about-it strangest restaurants in the city. But they are pretty darn unusual.

O.Noir

Location: 620 Charles St. Website: www.onoirtoronto.com

Following the success of its Montreal branch, Canada's first dining-in-the-dark restaurant opened a second location in Toronto in 2009. The idea is to heighten the sensory experience of eating by completely removing the visual element: patrons eat in pitch darkness, served and assisted by visually impaired waitstaff.

Let the 'blind date' jokes begin...

Typically, all food selections are made in the lit area of the restaurant. Orders placed, diners are then led into the darkened dining room, where, apparently, eating without seeing isn't as difficult as one might think, although you may have trouble recognizing what you're eating at first—so thoroughly have many of us come to rely on visual cues. For added mystery, you can order the 'surprise' option for any of the three courses O.Noir operates entirely on a prix fixe basis.

Those with a more restrained sense of adventure can sightlessly savour dishes such as filet mignon, pesto chicken, arugula salad, and chocolate mousse. A two-course meal is just over $30, not counting tips and taxes, while the three-course version is just under $40.

See more photos and read our full review here.

Figures

Location: 137 Adelaide Road Website: figuresto.com

These are the figures that shaped us is scrawled above the secret entrance to what has to be one of the coolest theme restaurants in the city. These figures the wall speaks of are comic book characters, cartoon personalities, movie idols, and pen & ink superheroes which adorn every corner of the space.

Figures is a full blown homage to your favorite comic book heroes, all with a secret entrance to the restaurant masked like a comic book and memorabilia shop. 

    Their menu consists mostly of sharing plates or Canadian twist on tapas both with vegetarian options, sea food and meat. Most desserts are also meant to be shared, so they cover things like mini ice-cream cones, do-it-yourself s'mores and other fun treats that can evoke a nostalgic feeling of your childhood. 

As for their drink menu, if you only decided to go to Figures for a cocktail, you won't be disappointed. Clearly their main creative focus went into creating and naming all of their cocktail combinations. They have a huge wine list and a very extensive cocktail menu, with 10 comic-inspired choices like Johnny Blaze or Dumb Grandson Pep Talk, as well as 10 classics with a twist.

See more photos and read our full review here.

Sultan's Tent & Café Moroc 

Location: 49 Front St East Website: thesultanstent.com

This one's the winner for ambiance, hands down. We have rich colours, a wooden floor, ornate hanging lanterns, elegant onion-dome archways, potted palm trees (which may not be real, but still), and booths hung with shimmering curtains to mimic the walls of the particularly sumptuous tent. In the evening, belly dancers come out to shimmy and wiggle.

There's also food, if anybody cares. 

The first Sultan's Tent existed for many years at Yorkville and Bay, before having to relocate in the face of an up-and-coming development in 2002. The new location at 49 Front St. E. is not only larger and more luxurious, but is also a historically notable building in its own right.

The Dixon Building (as 49 Front is known) was built in the 1870s, and originally used as a warehouse. It is—according to the Canada's Historical Places—one of the few buildings in the province with a cast iron facade, which was apparently all the rage back then.

The Sultan's Tent falls under the broad heading of 'ethnic', based as it is on French Moroccan culture and cuisine (or a romanticized Western version of it, anyway). The Café Moroc is apparently based on Rick's Cafe from the movie Casablanca.

This means that you can order Harira soup, lamb provençal, escargot, and pistacchio strawberry cake for dessert. I admit, this doesn't sound very Arabic to me, but the focus here is on French Moroccan dining. If you want something really exotic sounding, order the Casablanca Burger and be done with it. Appetizers range from about $6 to whatever the market price for oysters is at the moment. Entrees hover between $17 and $39 (for the lamb), at least in the case of the dinner menu. Lunch and brunch are a little bit less demanding on the wallet.

See more photos and read our full review here.

360 Restaurant

Location: 301 Front St West Website:  cntower.ca

Who would have thought that inside the most tourist-infested place in Toronto, one could find a fine dining spot with a definite focus on Canadian ingredients and dishes. Right inside the CN Tower, there's 360 Restaurant, providing it's guests with magnificent views and great food. 

The restaurant is named after the fact that in rotates  full 360 degrees every 72 minutes giving spectacular views of the entire city from over 1,000 feet above.So if your business dinner is too long, at least you have a new scenery to look at every few minutes. 

The menu is strongly Canada-centered, with many local dishes that don't seem much adventurous. It is a prix fixe menu where you can choose from a 2-course or 3-course options for $65 or $79 respectively. There is an a la carte menu as well for grilled meats and seafood. 

There are 7 desserts to pick from, or add onto your a la carte order for $14. They are more creative, more Canuck takes on typical fine dining desserts with ingredients that we have come to understand as purely Canadian.

They also have an extensive wine list and classic cocktails with Canadian names like Gord's Last Word, Toronto Islands, or CN Spritz.

See more photos and read our full review here.

SPiN

Location: 461 King St. West Website: toronto.wearespin.com

Like gym, but with beer - that's how Spin Toronto, a beer and food serving ping-pong lounge self-identifies. Hidden among pretentious club vibe of King Street West, spin is simply a big space crowded by ping-pong tables and a bar, where groups can come and enjoy a game or two with something tasty and a drink in their hand.

With beer, cocktails, and munchies, SPiN is anti-highstyle and very much like a frat party pub, but with much more interesting food combinations. Their menu consists mostly from pub favorites with a special twist. So you can find stuff like panko-crusted deviled eggs or potato rosti salad. You can top your meal with a fancy pop tart. In all honesty, this is not a dining destination. Nobody is coming here for the food.

It's the ping-pong tables and drink menu they are after. Because apparently enjoying a game of pong with a boozy drink in your hand is a very popular combination. With a pretty decent cocktail list, beers and special drought cocktails as well, there seems to be a choice for everybody to enjoy.

See more photos and read our full review here.

KV00KV

from News And Tip About Real Estate https://jamiesarner.com/toronto-life/2018/05/toronto-unusual-restaurants/

[stainedglassgardens]

Watched in March:

Raw

Palo Alto

By the Sea

Jupiter Ascending

Lady Bird

Irreplaceable You

Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter

Annihilation

Ravenous

The Bad Batch

Notes on Blindness

Breathe

Lovesong

Night Moves

Carol

Upstream Color

So as it turns out I’ve already watched more films this year than in all of 2017. Nothing like a good old heartbreak to get you to escape as hard as you can.

I didn’t watch any terrible films this month. However, some very average ones:

Palo Alto

Jupiter Ascending

Lady Bird (seriously... why did people... like it so much... I mean I think Saoirse Ronan is hot as fuck too but like...)

Irreplaceable You

Honourable mentions:

By the Sea: I get the other reasons why people hated it but I mean I still think it’s mostly misogyny... Like yes it’s waaaaaay too long but it’s beautiful and the Tender is the Night vibes alone...

Notes on Blindness: clearly there’s enough material in this for a short... not an hour and a half... and it’s visually boring on the whole, despite two or three very good finds

Lovesong: just your average good lesbian-ish indie film... and Riley Keough <3 <3 <3

Night Moves: an average Kelly Reichardt film is still a very good film but like... I don’t know... It’s like Old Joy < Night Moves < Wendy and Lucy < River of Grass, so.

Carol: I mean it’s... good? It’s a faithful adaptation? Cate Blanchette and Rooney Mara are fantastic??? But meh.

The ones I loved:

Raw: Jesus Christ hands down one of the best films I’ve seen all year. Great horror, great visuals, great characters. The acting is a bit meh sometimes but still.

Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter: just go into it knowing that it is about a Japanese woman who believes the film Fargo is real and you won’t be disappointed.

Annihilation: just... actual good Hollywood science fiction with a plot. And i bumped it into “I loved” simply because the five main characters are all women.

Ravenous: French Canadian zombie film?? Just sign me the fuck up.

The Bad Batch: clearly not as good as Amirpour’s A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night but like... still amazing??? Perfect soundtrack and perfect visuals and completely bonkers plot that still makes sense enough for a plot freak like me??? Like this is the second woman-directed film I’ve seen this month that I thought was great but got panned by critics... almost as if... there was a pattern there...

Breathe: it’s one of those very good indie films about being a teenager that actualyl talks about the fact that most parents have no fucking clue at all about what goes on in their kids’ lives... also about what terrible beings with absolutely no empathy most teenagers are. Also a refreshing thing about watching more non-American films: teenagers being treated like actual people by adults. The terrible, awful, no-good parent being the biological father, not like... the stepfather. Aaaaand it was shot in my home region, so.

Upstream Color: probably my favourite film of the month, together with Raw. Incredibly good science fiction, reminds you of David Lynch but in a way that makes more sense, is more subtle, less pretentious. Visually great. Perfect soundtrack. Just the perfect film to fuck with your head juuuuuust enough. And of course now I have got  to see Primer.

#films #watched in 2018