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slickshoesareyoucrazy · 1 year

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The Fictional Men We Crush On

This actually isn't a post about the men I make up or the fictional characters that remind me of J. I've written plenty of shit about that before. It's clear I have a 'type.' (Tall, quiet nerd. Bonus if he wears glasses. Double bonus if he's got dominant traits. For the maybe 2 of you who didn't already know that, and/or forgot, and/or don't find it painfully obvious). We all know I love Egon Spengler and Chris Stevens and Dwayne Wayne and George Bailey and Ned the Piemaker. Like...there it is.

And it's not a Celebrity Hit List post either (everybody probably also knows I have a monster crush on Ben Folds and Hozier because I mean...tall quiet nerds who PLAY INSTRUMENTS with gorgeous hands and sing about love and at least sometimes wear glasses...like it's kinda not fair if you wanna be real about shit here). There are fictional characters I dig a lot but don't particularly care for the actors who play them at all (lookin' at you Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec). And vice versa (I hear that kid who played Joffrey in Game of Thrones is actually a sweetie pie and a half).

This is a half-silly (but half-not silly) post about how the fictional men my man-loving friends crush on should clue me in on who THEY (my man-loving friends) are. Because as I sit here on the exercise bike counting minutes until I can get off and go back to housework that's less sweaty, I'm thinking about who the man-lovers in my life like or have liked. A lot of them like Gomez Addams. And Captain Von Trapp from The Sound of Music. And Wayne from Letterkenny. And there's Team Michael versus Team Rafael for Jane the Virgin fans. And of course, Mr. Darcy. All good choices, I'd say, even though they aren't my choices. And I have a couple friends who are 'villain' girls who like Killmonger from Black Panther (I get it in that case; truly). I can be friends with a lot of people who don't share my tastes. In fact, I have an amateur, untested theory that men-loving people (and probably also women-and nonbinary-loving people) make easier friends with people who don't share exactly the same taste in attraction. All my best man-loving friends do not share my type, but they understand it. That's cool. I understand why most of my friends like most of the people they like (any gender; fictional and non-fictional). But I guess I got to thinking about one person who was recently in my life because Pretty in Pink by The Psychedelic Furs came up on my shuffle here on the bike and how her taste in fictional men should have been a tip off to me that she wasn't really my kinda person.

Let me explain that a bit (or try at least). This woman said she'd always had a crush on Steph, the James Spader character in John Hughes' classic 80s film, Pretty in Pink. James Spader is probably an alright guy in real life (I don't know though), and I have some submissive friends who liked him in Secretary (I've still never seen it), and he's certainly a handsome man (or he can be one and was one in the 80s). But dude, that character is a first class piece of shit. An arrogant, elitist, sexist douchebag by any measure. He is the villain of the piece and he doesn't have a righteous cause or a tragic past like Killmonger; he's just a shitbag. I mean, my favorite line in the film, delivered with quiet but cutting ire by Andrew McCarthy's dreamy but unfortunately named hero character, Blaine is, "She thinks you're shit. And deep down, you know she's right." She went on to swoon over and defend a lot of other seriously flawed and disturbing men, both real and imaginary to me throughout the course of our interactions (I can't call it a friendship anymore)...Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (rapist; at least he had some redeemable traits sometimes but still...I liked Giles and Wesley and Oz; I guess I'm just not a vampire girl), Viggo Mortenson's Walker from the film A Walk on the Moon (he's not really a bad guy, but he tries to break up a marriage and family where the husband is a definitive GOOD guy...Liev Schreiber, another one of my swoony celebs because he reminds me of J and wow his character was the dreamy one for me in that movie), musicians with well established histories of abusing women and/or anti-Semitism. She just went to bat pretty regularly for people, both real and not real, who were at least unjustifiable in the bad shit they did, if not wholly irredeemable. And looking back, it's not surprising she did, because I think those are characters she might see herself in.

Anyway, if you're reading this and you're like, 'But I like this one villain in this one show...' and it turns out that character has this giant growth arc (Petra in Jane the Virgin; Nathaniel in Crazy Ex Girlfriend; I'm sure there are countless other examples), or really you just like the actor (Adam Driver, Jamie Dornan, and on and on and on...), that's not the same as waxing poetic about fucking Steph from Pretty in Pink. And if you ALSO like heroes sometimes? Even really imperfect or unconventional ones? Yeah. Egon Spengler, remember? They're not STEPH from Pretty in Pink. :-P

OK bike time and rant over. I'm probably gonna go watch Pretty in Pink while I finish housework now. (Blaine and Duckie forever. Steph can go kick rocks).

#the music and fiction and media we like and defend does tell other people meaningful shit about us #like it or not #fiction informs reality almost the same amount as reality informs fiction

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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Ok, I think I'm ready to give it a try! I saw that matchups were open, so I'd like to request a romantic matchup! I absolutely adore your writing and the way you analyse every detail - you're a huge inspiration to me in terms of writing.

So, I'm a russian bisexual cis girl. I don't think appearance matters much, but I'll write down the basics just for fun! I'm quite short(5'2) in comparison with most of my peers, considering, that I'm 23. I'll be lying if I said that it doesn't bother me, since all my life people were making fun of my height and weight. I was always very short, thin and pale due to bad upbringing. I'm learning to love my body, but it still bothers me from time to time. I have very long deep brown hair (down to my waist) and green eyes. I'm actually quite proud of my hair! It was always my dream to have long hair, but my mom would cut it short each time. She still makes comments about my hair, and that it's 'gross', even though I take very good care of it. I've also been wearing glasses for my whole life, since I was born prematurely and my eyesight is just HORRENDOUS. But it doesn't bother me at all, since I've been living like this my whole life.

Okay... I think that's enough for appearance! As you probably guessed, my familiy's really not the best one out there. And that's putting it lightly. I don't talk about it much now, since I don't live with them anymore and I got over my trauma, but... My childhood was VERY rough. Sadly, it really affected what kind of person I am now, so I'll go over the basics. My mom was extremely abusive: verbally and physically. My dad was always busy at work and she threatened me not to tell him anything, so... I never told about it to anyone. I never cried, since she would get angry at me for 'looking scared'. I used to be proud of that, but now I know how much it was ruining me. Long story short... My dad found out, they divorced and he and took me away. I suppose, that's a happy ending, but I was already 12 at that moment and the damage already has been done. I have some trust issues, although I've gotten WAY better, and I'm still working on myself. Still, it's hard for me to open up, since I'm always expecting the worst and I don't want to be hurt again. There's also some triggers that I have to avoid in my everyday life, but I've learned to deal with them in my own way. Still, they're there, and sometimes they can get the better of me.

My tragic backstory aside, I'd love to share some more positive details about myself! Currently, I'm studying psychology and working part-time at a bakery. I guess my experience with trauma taught me a lot, and so I decided that I want to help people the way, that I wished someone would help me then. Sure, I've managed to heal and move one by myself, but it didn't have to be that way. I want to help people and make them feel heard and understood. I love my work as well! I find something comforting in this kind of routine, but maybe it's just because I enjoy cooking so much. Yeah, cooking is one of my passions! As I mentioned before, I barely ate when I was a child, so now I'm trying to eat as many different things as I can! God, I especially love korean and japanese cuisines! And I'd love to cook for my partner every day. Or, maybe, we could cook together! Although, in terms of intimacy, it's hard for me to be open with someone. Not because I don't want to be close to my partner, but simply cause I have no idea what I'm doing. I was never even hugged as a child. This kind of affection is... foreign to me, even though I do crave it. I totally don't mind physical affection, but my partner would probably have to take the lead at first!

In terms of hobbies... I love writing. Although that's a very personal one, than I keep mostly to myself. Oh, I'm also a huge science nerd! I was one since childhood, haha. Instead of toys, I was always reading some kind of book. My favourites are probably biology and paleontology. I'd absolutely love to share with my partner many random facts about animals or other stuff! People always told me that it's boring and lame, so... It means the whole world to me if someone actually appreciates my interests. Oh, I'd love to watch some nature documentaries and add my own knowledge here and there! I'm also a huge animal lover. When I was a kid, finding a connection with animals was always way easier, then with other kids. Gosh, I used to spend the whole day with a bunch of chickens, haha. Everybody always told me that they're stupid, but I found that they are actually quite smart and caring animals! And it's not just chickens: I've had a tendency of 'taming' street animals, such as cats. Everybody hated them, and called them 'rabid', but... they were just scared. Sure, it always took some time to earn their trust, but I don't mind that at all. In fact, every single animal that I have today has been previously abused or abandoned. I guess... I have a personal connection to them in some way. Nobody wants an aggressive animal and nobody wants to give them a chance. It's not like they WANT to be this angry all the time. I also really want to own a parrot in the future! A cockatoo, to be exact. They are a very difficult bird to own and that's why I'm waiting for the moment, when I will be able to give it the care it needs. It has been my dream for a long time! Now, in terms of kids... I don't know if I'll ever have one, so that's important to consider. And even if I will, I totally don't want to go through pregnancy itself. I'll probably adopt. But... then again, I'm not sure if I ever will. I love kids, sure, but actually raising one... it's such hard work, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready for that responsibility. I'm fine with my animals, haha. But, I appreciate someone, who could take me out of my comfort zone from time to time. I have a tendency to chicken out due to my self-doubt, so a small dose of occasional tough love would be welcome. Oh, I'm also currently learning korean! I plan to study there after I finish my degree here, so that's something to think about, haha.

Music is also one of my passions! I'm ALWAYS wearing headphones, so that could probably be annoying, I guess lmao. I listen to pretty much everything: from musicals to pop. Although, I definitely prefer to have some meaning in songs I enjoy. In fact, I tend to overanalyze the stuff I enjoy to ridiculous extend: from music to characters in shows I watch. People often find that stupid, sadly.

My ideal date would be... something, that has a special meaning to us. It doesn't have to be something elaborate or loud. For example, going to the specific place in the park, where we first held hands or something. It sounds ridiculous and cheesy, but... I love to show people I care about just how much they mean to me. And that means finding deeper meaning in everything we do.

Okay, I think that's wayyy to long, but I'm done lmao

I'm very interested in reading your take on things!

I match you with...

Zen!

You've got a passion for what you love. It means a lot to you to lose yourself in the music and imagine all sorts of things. it just makes you feel good inside. Even if others don't understand that you're in a world of your own... it's everything to you. It makes you feel nice and being able to share that with others means that you trust them. And, despite what you've gone through, you've got a positive outlook on life ahead of you, you just want someone that understands your limits and your desires.

The reason why Zen stands out here is that you need someone who understands you. Your love of music is so much like his love of arts and the theatre. When you talk about what makes you happy, he just starts to smile and laugh. He's always wanted to hear someone who is as passionate as he is. He could listen to you for hours. He wants to watch the stars with you and talk about everything and anything at all.

He also empathizes with a parent hating at your looks. He wants you to know that you're lovely and beautiful, even if your parent told you otherwise. It's not true. You've always been lovely. He wants to make you feel special and seen. Think about all those selfies he wants to take with the two of you!

#anon #ask #mod kait #matchup #hyun

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