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#also why do people think connie stole lion from him. girl Shut Up lion
orchidhearted · 1 year
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i think the worst part of the “steven universe comeback” on tiktok is the amount of people who misinterpret certain characters (STARING LOUDLY AT STEVEN AND CONNIE sorry i’m their number one defender)
like. especially in future. i have to hold back from saying fightin words because good LORD. do not want to deal with people who don’t have any critical thinking/analysis skills. so i’m just here. frothing. foaming. biting my tongue. grrrrrrrr.
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lattetimes · 6 years
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So How About Them New Episodes, Ammirite Ladies??
here’s what i thought of the new episodes via live reactions as i watching them!
overall, it was kinda underwhelming but there were parts that i really did like! and if you liked these episodes, that’s awesome!
MAYOR DEWEY WINS
was this title a reference to the movie/book John Dies at the End, cause if so then i’m shocked i caught that
apparently it is, would you look at that. btw i kinda liked the movie.
damn, Sadie took this hard. and Steven never told Lars’ parents. so i guess Sadie has to do that herself.
why tf does Steven care if Dewey wins?!
OH, IT’S BECAUSE HE DON’T WANT SHIT TO CHANGE AND HE THINKS HAVING A NEW MAYOR WOULD BE BAD WTF DEWEY DOES NOTHING
ok wow, there’s only 24 people in Beach City and he never noticed that Lars was gone!?
“is that why the donut shop was closed?”
“we’ll hire a new donut boy!” DEWEY. DUDE. ARE YOU FOR REAL?!
“high school mayor” lmao
how did he run unopposed for 10 years!?
LARS’ MOM KEEPS A SHITTON OF TOMATOES IN HER PURSE SHE READY TO THROW DOWN ALL THE TIME
i don’t like that Steven is so adamant on Dewey winning.
jesus, Steven, let Nanefua win. she’s obviously the better person for the job
“i’m done pointing my finger at you, and now i direct all my fingers on both my hands to the citizens” top 10 anime deaths
NANEFUA WINS, OH MY GOD YES
STEVEN, DUDE, REALLY?! LEAVE CONNIE ALONE!
“i don’t know what you’re talking about, but i need to get a new job” 2018 mood tbh
episode rating: 2 tomatoes out of 5. i can’t stand Steven in this episode at all. but hey, NANEFUA WON!!!!!!
RAISING THE BARN
....was Lapis’ main concern that Steven dropped his phone on Homeworld? not the fact that he was... idk... ON HOMEWORLD?!
ok Lapis is ready to bail immediately and tbh i dont blame her
did she just uproot the entire bard wtf?! 
BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!
episode rating: 1.5 barns out of 5. BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!
GEMCATION
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^ mfw Amethyst basically spat an egg out her mouth (it was kinda gross)
well. Greg got some kinda house.... still don’t get why the crew is so against having Greg get a house
also, where’s Peridot?
“remove all shoes before entering” Pearl fucking THROWS A RANDOM ASS PAIR OF SHOES
OKAY PEARL SCREAMING “PARTY GUY, NO!” WAS ACTUALLY KINDA FUNNY
S H O W M E P A R T Y G U Y Y O U C O W A R D S
“Steven, you should join me. become a raisin” ok Garnet
did. did Steven completely cut Garnet off as she was talking about Pink Diamond and the Gem War with the whole, “yeah, yeah, i get it, Mom. i already heard this story” kinda thing? B R U H that ain’t okay
AND GARNET JUST SHUTS UP AND WAS LIKE “good, you understand”
PEARL WAS GONNA STRAIGHT UP ADMIT TO SOME HUGE THING AFTER HER “THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN” LINE AND HE CUTS HER OFF WITH “CONNIE HATES ME”
WHY COULDN’T STEVEN AT LEAST TELL THESE FOUR THAT HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT CONNIE HATING HIM?!
I’M KINDA GETTING SICK OF SEEING STEVEN MOPE LIKE THIS FOR 3 EPISODES STRAIGHT AND I HOPE HE DOESN’T KEEP THIS UP FOR THE NEXT 2
OH NO, PLEASE DISREGARD ALL OF THE MESSED UP THINGS YOU SAW ON HOMEWORLD CAUSE CONNIE IS (rightfully) UPSET WITH YOU. LARS D I E D.
GUITAR DAD SAVES THE DAY
i love Greg Universe
how would you not notice if you aren’t getting any service on your phone? your phone tells you when you’re getting service or not
bruh you almost made your dad drive off a cliff for you to get phone service
Greg Universe is a ride or die kinda guy
this ending shot is cute, i’ll give you that. 
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episode rating: 2 party guys out of 5. Party Guy should’ve bitten Steven’s phone and his shit attitude. also PEARL WTF ARE YOU TELL US ALREADY
BACK TO THE KINDERGARTEN
Connie i miss you
“of the three things i have to do in the sink now, this is the one i least mind you seeing” B R U H
 Peridot listens to country music, this is disgusting
HOLY SHIT AMETHYST IS TOSSIN’ PERIDOT AROUND LIKE SHE WEIGHS NOTHING AND I’M CRACKING UP
“can i bring my music?” “NO.” damn Amethyst you already threw Peri around like she ain’t nothin’, let her bring her music if it’ll help her
aaaay, they’re in the train again!
dang, Peri really loved the barn.
i kinda like that Amethyst is going around trying to figure out which member of the Famethyst came out of which part of the Kindergarten. kinda cute. 
so everything is seriously determined by the nutrition, right down to the style of a Gem’s hair? ...huh. iron deposits determine hair styles.
damn, Peri went with a sucker punch to the gut with her little speech about how Kindergartens kill off life and are just “lifeless husks” once all the Gems are done being formed. and Amethyst feels awful about it, dang.
ok. there’s a flower growin’ in the Kindergarten, and that should technically be impossible due to all of the nutrients in this one area being used up. this could be interesting.
ok, so now the trio is gonna farm & see what happens. ok, ok, i can roll with this i guess.
FARMING MONTAGE
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look at them flowers
they proud
don’t make Peri live here
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why the flamingo thingy taller than both of them
gods i didn’t need to see Steven happily showering
they’re talking about how the flowers are probs gonna look beautiful i bet they all died, they’re too positive about this. $5 them flowers are dead.
them flowers are dead,
...now they’re arguing, cause Peri blew up on them. alright. this ain’t good.
aaaaaaaaaaaand Peri crushed the original flower that grew here. both Steven & Amethyst made pained whimpers. ok. this ain’t good.
oh it’s a Gem creature- haven’t seen one of those in a while!
IT ATE PERIDOT HOLY FUCK
SMOKEY QUARTZ IS BACK
ngl i like Smokey’s theme music
btw there’s no dialogue from Smokey, just a quick 2 second thing
Peri doesn’t reform with a star on her
ok, that was kinda cute. and having a technician that also likes gardening is cute too
episode rating: 3.5 dead sunflowers outta 5. it was an okay episode & i did like it. 
SADIE KILLER
heh, i get it. cause lady killer.
oh god, that looks bad
WHY IS THAT MOP SO BIG
instead of reading off a long-ass list to the overly worked employee, just hand Sadie the list so she won’t fuck up?
“and a coffee. hold the coffee.” same tbh
oh. he’s in a band with the Cool Kids. WE GET TO SEE THE COOL KIDS!
“...i hope he [Lars] is safe and all, but working all these shifts by myself has been a huge drag” GIRL, LARS DIED IN SPACE AND IS STILL THERE
Steven stealing all the napkins is something i’d do tbh
man, i love the Cool Kids
is my girl Jenny rockin’ the bass? aaaaaaaaaaay!
Sour Cream, what the HECK IS RAP-A-BILLY?
“Doo-doo. Butt. The government corrupts” Buck is the voice of this generation
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welcome to EB Games
they... they admitted to following her home from work....
“doo-doo. i think i broke your bed” Buck wtf
also, i guess them watching all of Sadie’s horror movies gave them inspiration to do that weird donut-brain-eating song. weird.
“we are the working dead, and we lurch for minimum wage” same Sadie
......ok, she’s freaking everyone out. and they look uncomfortable. Sadie, seriously stop. they’re concerned.
...she. put lipstick on her eyes.
see, if she wasn’t freakin’ everyone out with this, i’d say this song is a bop. 
ok they’re fine now & thought it was lit ok cool cool cool. i ain’t a big fan of the lyrics tbh, but i do like the song.
 “aww, doo-doo”
ok so Steven’s askin’ for advice on how to write horror-themed songs from Sadie. how about LARS DIED ON HOMEWORLD
SADIE’S ADVICE IS:
LOSE YOUR LIFE TO A BORING JOB
LOSE THE ONE PERSON YOU WERE CLOSE TO
LOSE YOUR MIND WORKIN A TON OF SHIFTS
GIRL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Steven puttin’ Sadie on blast, good lord he just sang an accidental roast tryin’ to sing shit like she does
HE STOLE ALL THE NAPKINS AGAIN
“you can’t help being cute no more than i can help being cool” Buck, you’re a blessing
“yoooooo, what if this is all a dream?” Buck, wtf?
oh. Sadie’s goin’ with them. okay. 
OH. SHE QUIT HER JOB. UM. OKAY?
episode rating: 3 funky riffs out of 5. Buck Dewey is great.
KEVIN PARTY
I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THIS EPISODE, BUT IMMA DO IT ANYWAY
DIDN’T EVEN START THE EPISODE AND I STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
let’s just get this over with...
why’d Steven wait this long to track down Lion?!
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siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, here he is......
gods, i still hate him
stop being gross to kids, leave Steven and Connie alone ya freak
at least he knows they use they/them pronouns. 
how did he find out where Connie is? doesn’t she live far away from Beach City? did he track down these two kids just to “invite” Stevonnie?!
“no one turns down an invitation to a Kevin party” i sure as fuck would
lmao Kevin has an old phone
“your name’s Steven? weird, i thought your name was Clarence” OI, DON’T INSULT CLARENCE LIKE THAT
rude, Steven brought snacks and ya just toss ‘em into the void?
ok. he’s creepily obsessed with Stevonnie cause apparently they make parties and shit like that hella fun. um. stop? being obsessed with kids??
WTF WHY IS LION AT THE PARTY
Connie actually showed up. and had Lion the entire time. that’s. super fucked up. Lion is the ONLY way to get to Lars directly!
and also, there’s TWO KIDS AT A PARTY WITH OLDER PEOPLE?! NO ONE BUT DERRICK QUESTIONS THIS?
Kevin’s gonna try to get them to talk to each other... so they can form Stevonnie... so his party won’t suck...
also, he keeps calling them 7-year-olds........ siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, ok Kevin.
KEVIN YOU IDIOT LET THEM TALK TO EACH OTHER SO HE CAN SAY SORRY DON’T GIVE HIM YOUR “COOL GUY” BULLSHIT
“i need those old people to whisper my name when they die” tbh goals
“who’s Sabina?” Kevin got all red in the face and almost lost his cool
so Kevin’s gonna try to make Steven look like he’s moved on from Connie or some shit. this won’t end well.
NO, NOT DERRICK’S JACKET
now we get a montage of 2 kids being uncomfortable surrounded by older people at a party they should’t be at, ok.
at least Connie looks cute. and she got a haircut! so cute!
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NOT CUTE NOT CUTE NOT CUTE
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GOD, I HATE KEVIN
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Steven, what are you doing?
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STEVEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
ok, quick recap cause i didn’t mention this: Kevin thought Steven & Connie were dating, so, Connie only went to the party to see if Steven’s okay and if they could talk. Steven decided to follow Kevin’s advice for some reason, and Connie thinks Steve’s new BFF is Kevin, and Kevin has no concept of what friends are.
so. Connie didn’t text Steven cause she preferred talking face to face about this, and that texting him wasn’t good enough to work out these issues. very fair point. still don’t get why you legit stole Lion from him, but the not texting back thing makes complete sense.
ok, she rode Lion to his house while Steven, Greg & the Gems were away (the episode Gemcation). and that’s when she bumped into Kevin and got the invite. ok. now Kevin is slightly less creepy, but still disgusting nonetheless.
oh, yay! they’re talking it out! and Steven isn’t disregarding Connie’s anger!
yay! they’re friends again!
don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie.
LMAO GET FUCKED, KEVIN, THEY AIN’T FORMIN’ STEVONNIE
episode rating: 1 Lion out of 5. least fave episode, tbh. but hey, we got Connie back!
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