#also writing a birth scene is weird as fuck i gotta be honest

[abugwritesstuff]

a summer surprise

here it is! this is the toa pregnancy fic as requested by @stnskitten. additional shoutout to @codename-corbeau, who mentioned the idea of toa realizing first which i thought was very in-character and decided to adopt for this instead of having the MC find out first 😛

this has also been cross-posted to ao3!

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Late summer was a gorgeous time on the Isle of Colde. Classes were still partially in session at this time unlike back on Earth in my country, but even that wasn’t enough to drive away the happiness of the season. After classes, we’d spend countless hours lounging outside in the warmth or strolling through the bustle of the town markets full to bursting with summer produce. More than once we were let out of class early for summertime holidays. It was my second time experiencing a Colde summer, and I felt that with each year it only got sweeter. The summer also brought with it additional time spent with my paramour Toa: time that got ahead of me on more than one occasion, leading me to sprint out of his room or back inside from the courtyard in order to make it to a class.

It also meant that I forgot to notice when certain things were absent. When Toa called me to his room that day, I thought little of it. I often came to his room and we would spend hours either going over homework assignments from the day, sampling new exotic candies and drinking perfectly paired teas, listening to new music or… doing other things. Any of it was a possibility.

When I opened the door, I found him at the door already and oddly pensive.

“Oh! Toa! Are we… going out?” I asked, a bit perplexed at his sudden nearness.

He shook his head and grasped my hand, tugging me over to his settee. He sat beside me and peered at me in concern, his brows knit together in concentration as though he were trying to see into my head to read my thoughts. I stared back, confused.

“Uhm… Toa? What’s going on…?”

“Have you begun your period?”

I blinked. “I… what?”

“Your period. When was your last one?” he pressed.

The serious look in his eyes made me squirm and I looked away as I wracked my brain. Sure enough, it had been a while longer than usual since my last one. I bit my lip. “Oh, I don’t know. It was sometime before your birthday. Early July, I think.”

Toa sat back stiffly, thinly veiled alarm flashing in his eyes. He sucked in a breath and wrung his hands a bit. “It’s late August.”

Now I caught his meaning. My stomach churned a bit at the implication but I choked it down with an anxious laugh. “I mean, sometimes these things happen. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s only… what? A few weeks late?” I went to hold his hand but grabbed at air as he stood up to pace the room anxiously.

“You’re not usually irregular,” he mumbled.

“You noticed that?”

He stopped and stared at me. “…Of course I did. I’ve been bringing you extra chocolates the same week every month for over a year.”

“O-oh. Yeah. Right.”

Toa closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “This… could be…” he shook his head, not daring to say the obvious thing out loud. I swore I could hear my own blood pumping in my ears as I watched him drag a hand down his face. “…Have you happened to take a test?”

Right then, the door behind us swung open and Knight poked his head in.

“For tea today do you want-”

“No tea today, Knight. Please leave us alone for now.” Toa cut him off and waved him away urgently. Knight left quickly, looking puzzled by the reaction and the door closed behind him. As he looked back to me, I could see the rising anxiety in his eyes as he grabbed my hands in his. “Are you experiencing any symptoms of any sort? Are you feeling unwell?”

I shook my head. “I feel fine. And no, I haven’t taken a test.”

“…Okay…” he mumbled distantly. He studied my face with furrowed brows before letting out a sigh. “I will get one for you from the infirmary myself tonight. Come to my room again after classes finish tonight.”

I could see the cogs turning behind his eyes and from the looks of it, none of them were leading to places he wanted to go. He turned away and sat on the settee again, a hand over his chest. I followed and sat down beside him. Knowing him, it’d be hard to offer any sort of comfort while he was running through his mental calculus of possible outcomes and worst case scenarios. By now I’d seen him do it a million times and usually had to wait for him to wear himself out a bit before I could pull him out of his head. I placed one hand on his knee and in a low voice whispered, “Hey. We don’t know anything yet. It could be a total fluke. I mean, sometimes periods are just weird. Anything can affect them.”

He looked over at me and attempted a smile that barely pulled the corners of his lips. “Yes. I could also have gotten you pregnant,” he whispered back weakly. “I…” he didn’t finish that thought and instead stared out into the middle distance.

“Hey, um… I will see you tonight. I love you.” I leaned over and kissed his temple then stood, slinging my book bag over my shoulder. “I’ll come over immediately after my last class.”

“…Right.”

I didn’t need to be by his side to know that the time between my first visit to his room and my second would be torturous for him. Oddly, I found myself feeling more even-keeled than him, which was outside of our usual norm of me panicking and Toa holding me and reasoning me through it. Trouble was that I knew there was little for me to say to reassure him. There were a million things that a prince of Qelsum wasn’t supposed to do, and this had to be one of the things at the very top.

When I arrived at his room that evening, he pulled me inside and locked the door instantly with a flash of blue magic, then double checked the room’s soundproofing before leading me over to the couch. From his pocket he retrieved the test, an odd circular object with a white center.

“That looks different than the ones on Earth.” I remarked.

Silent, he placed the test onto the coffee table, gestured for us to sit, and took one of my hands in his. “It tests the blood for certain strains of magic,” he replied, his voice artificially flat and even. “…as well as hormones. I have to prick your finger.”

I offered him my thumb, which he pricked to bleed with magic (whispering “sorry” under his breath as he did) and then held over the test as three drops of blood fell into the white center of the test, glowing and then disappearing as it began to turn various different colors. He immediately wrapped my finger up in a small bandage and then held both my hands in his as he stared at the test.

“How long does it take?” I asked.

“About three minutes.” His jaw was clenched tight. I placed a hand on his back and rubbed, at which he sighed and relaxed slightly, grimacing. “Sorry. I should be asking how you’re faring.” He slung an arm across my shoulders and pulled me close to him, close enough that I could all but see the new worry lines being etched into his face as we spoke.

“I’m alright. I mean… nervous. But I’m fine.” And it was true- I was nervous. There was a pit in my stomach everytime I looked over at the coffee table and watched the flashing colors alternate.

“If… if it’s positive, it’ll settle on a color. If it’s negative, it fades out to a dull white again,” he said, answering my unspoken question. He gripped my hand and brought the back of it to his lips for a soft, featherlight kiss before facing me head-on. “I want you to know this, MC.”

“What?”

“Whatever the result is, I will take care of you and protect you.” His voice was solemn and serious, but I could hear the faint waver in it. “I will not let anything befall you. I am with you no matter what happens.”

I nodded and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “I know you are,” I whispered, then pulled back to smile at him. “Really, I do. I trust you. And besides, maybe it’ll be nothing anyway-”

There was a flash of blue light beside us.

Toa froze like a statue and I felt my body go numb and weak as I stared at it.

“Ohhhh… wow…” I squeaked out. “That’s uh… I’m… uh…”

Toa stood and began pacing the room with his hands in his hair. He was completely silent and mentally elsewhere, and I watched him weakly, unable to muster the energy to get up and try to speak. Gingerly, I reached over and plucked the test from the table, turning it over in my hands and watching the light shimmer and flicker. With magic, I doubted there was much room for error in a test of this sort, but a part of me was desperate to believe that it could have been faulty in some way. I jolted slightly as I realized that Toa was now in front of me on his knees.

“I am so sorry,” he choked out. His expression was a mixture of anguish, guilt, and what looked to me like fear. “I planned to figure something out, some way for our relationship to be accepted in the eyes of the king, long before anything like this should happen… I wanted to safeguard you but I’ve put you in danger.” He rested his head against my lap and I ran my fingers through his hair as I pulled in a shaky breath of my own.

I wanted to tell him that everything would be alright, but in all honesty his reaction was scaring me. Even in situations where we had very truly been in danger, he’d been levelheaded and calm. What laid ahead if this was how he was acting now, before anything had really changed? I rested my hand on his head and sighed. I opened my mouth to speak, but found I had no words. My throat grew tight and my vision hot and fuzzy. “Toa… what are we going to do?”

He looked up, then stood and pulled me to my feet, reeling me into his chest. He wrapped his arms securely around me and rubbed my back. “For once I don’t know,” he whispered.

—-----

The following day Toa organized his classes to be taught by Fenn, Lynt, and Roy instead and made a meeting with the headmaster. At the appointed time we arrived at his tower and he ushered us upstairs rather than to the usual meeting place in front of his desk. Phinney poured us cups of tea and then disappeared, leaving us alone with the headmaster.

“What can I do for you? I was surprised to receive such an urgent request from you, Master Qelsum,” the headmaster said, sitting across from us.

Toa sat rigidly and I placed a hand on his knee.

“There’s a situation we need your advice and guidance on,” Toa said. “Oh?”

I opened my mouth to speak but Toa beat me to it. “She is pregnant.”

For once the headmaster seemed genuinely dumbfounded. “O-oh…? Oh my. Well, that is unexpected news. Goodness.” He blinked at us, looking between Toa and I with a look of surprise bordering on confusion. “Of anyone to, ah… have put the cart before the horse, I would not have expected you.”

From the corner of my eye I could see Toa flush pink. “It was not intentional.”

The headmaster chuckled a bit. “I would figure not.”

Toa turned a bit redder and cleared his throat awkwardly. “You know the rules that have been laid out for a prince of Qelsum. I am not sure how to proceed in a way that safeguards MC. I am worried that… punishments for my indiscretions would be meted out on her. Everything requires the approval of the king.”

The headmaster leaned back with a stern expression. “That is the conundrum. Hm. As it is, your relationship with a supposed Avarian is unlikely to receive official approval for an engagement, even without a pregnancy.”

Toa nodded. “Yes, that is the issue-”

“So do it anyway.”

We blinked. Toa’s brow furrowed, startled.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

The headmaster smiled and offered a casual shrug. “So do it anyway. Since you are here I am making the assumption that you two are wanting to have this baby. And given our prior conversations, I know that you already intended on making a proposal as it is.”

Well, that was news to me. I snapped my neck to look over at Toa. “You’ve been talking to the headmaster about-?”

“Anyways,” the headmaster continued. “Just get engaged. I fear if you wait for approval or for the right circumstances, you will be waiting forever. And besides, as I said, the cart is now before the horse, so you may as well force their hand. As we know from the incident two years ago, Qelsan aristocracy will go to great lengths to avoid poor public perception.”

Toa nodded slowly. I hummed and thought back. Sure enough, following the incident where Toa had fought Guy and been forcibly expatriated, news had arrived to Qelsum that the repatriation came across as an admission of defeat and weakness. The potential poor press had motivated Toa’s officially approved return to the Academy- and thus, made our relationship possible. And “Qelsan crown prince has out-of-wedlock baby with random Avarian student” was, to put it lightly, an absolute PR nightmare for a kingdom that was desperate for by the book perfection at all times.

“Y-You’re saying we should force them to approve a marriage for image reasons?” I stammered.

The headmaster nodded. “Yes. Or, rather, that it’s an option.”

Toa leaned forward. “We would have to tell them that she’s pregnant. Would that not put her at risk of harm? With my sister's thugs, anything is possible.”

He hummed. “Yes, that is also a factor to consider. The other option to consider is hiding the pregnancy as long as possible before publicizing it. It would put them in the position to do damage control rather than damage prevention, as your child would be born not long after any wedding and the pregnancy would be known. At least then there would be a marriage, which would mitigate some of the reputational harm.”

“And lessen the risk of harm to MC, since people would know of the pregnancy it would be harder to hide any foul play.” Toa added thoughtfully.

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, unsure of whether or not to add to the conversation. I raised my hand weakly and when the headmaster nodded, I took a deep breath. “Or, we could just tell them of my powers. I mean, if King Gilbert knew I wasn’t Avarian and knew I had ancient magic and the power to bend space-time, I think the marriage would probably be encouraged if anything.”

Toa frowned at me. “I don’t want to see your magic taken advantage of,” he murmured. He turned to face the headmaster, who had a cryptic look on his face. “My fear has been that were the king or others to find out, they would attempt to use her as… as a weapon of sorts.”

The headmaster nodded sagely. “That as well is a concern. However, over two years have gone by since MC arrived in Saligia. Back then, if she were merely touched her power could flow out uncontrolled. However, today she is not nearly so weak. And as much as I would prefer it… her power cannot remain hidden forever. One day your identity will be revealed, whether we are ready for it or not.”

I placed a hand over my lower belly. “I mean, what if the baby is born with my eye color? What will we do then? It’s not as though they’ll have red eyes. Dark brown eyes would make it fairly obvious that something is odd about me.”

Both men went temporarily silent.

“…Yes, that does factor in as well.” the headmaster said finally. He nodded solemnly. “It is worth pointing out that regardless of the timing, these questions would have come up. It was a matter of time rather than something to be avoided. To speak of the pregnancy itself… I do have reason to be concerned.”

Toa tensed up. “What? In regards to…?”

The headmaster’s expression was severe. “As you well know, ancient magic is passed down from father to firstborn son. Never before you,” at this he nodded to me, “has a woman possessed ancient magic in all of Saligia’s history. Not to speak of a child born to two people in possession of ancient magic. Such a child… could have power at a level completely unthinkable. I would figure that any child of yours could possess such powers, firstborn or not, male or not. Such a bloodline could shake the foundations of Saligia’s power balance entirely. Master Toa, you may have good reason to fear MC’s power falling into the wrong hands, but you also must consider the power that your child would possess as well. It will be no small thing.”

This announcement hit Toa hard- he sat back into his seat and held a hand over his mouth as though trying to muffle a groan or calm nausea. The anxiety coloring his features worried me- but I was trying to grapple with my own sense of dread and fear. Though I’d only had a brief amount of time to wrap my mind around the idea of having a baby, I’d grown a bit attached to the life growing inside that signified the start of a family between Toa and I. The thought of my child being used or otherwise endangered by their own abilities was frightening.

“…Will I be okay?” I asked softly. The two men looked at me and I shrank a bit. I wrung my hands in my lap and stared at the ground. “I mean, like you said: the baby will have ancient magic, but from both of us. Will that hurt me? I mean… nobody with ancient magic has ever been pregnant before, let alone with a baby like this one. Is it… even safe for me to have a pregnancy like this?”

Toa’s face twisted with horror and the headmaster fell deep into thought. Too much time passed for comfort and I began to fidget. A hand layered over mine and I looked up to find Toa’s face close to mine as he leaned in.

“If… you do not want to continue the pregnancy, I would support you,” he whispered. I studied his face and then glanced at my lap to find that the hand he’d put on top of mine was shaking. I put my other hand over his and squeezed.

“I… I want to see this through,” I felt heat rise up my neck and I looked away. “I want to have a family with you, Toa,” I murmured, almost embarrassed to say it out loud. “I want to meet our baby.”

Toa turned his palm up and intertwined our fingers together. “…So be it. I will be with you no matter what.” I couldn’t tell if my response made him happy or not, his tone was flat and guarded, as though he were speaking through clenched teeth.

“The lack of precedence makes everything more difficult,” the headmaster said. “We have no particular reason to believe that the pregnancy will harm your well-being, but we also have no reason to believe you will progress unscathed. For this reason, I would recommend remaining here on the Isle of Colde for as long as possible so I can monitor the changes in your magic.”

Toa blinked. “But that would mean…”

“Yes. It would mean delaying any sort of official state-sanctioned marriage until after the birth, as a royal wedding would permanently relocate you to Qelsum.”

I took a deep breath. Though I was the reason for a not-insignificant amount of the political and magical conflicts in Saligia over the last two years, I did not actually enjoy causing problems. In fact, I was rather conflict avoidant- and the concept of delaying our marriage and causing political turmoil for Toa with his notoriously difficult family made me uncomfortable. When I looked over at the headmaster again, he had a smile on his face.

“…What is it?” Toa asked, suspicious.

The headmaster stood before us and gave an exaggerated bow. “I offer you my services as an officiant, should you want to marry on a less official basis before the birth of your child.”

Toa and I looked at each other.

“I beg pardon? You would suggest we marry here, on the Isle of Colde? Has that ever been done?” Toa quirked an eyebrow up.

The headmaster smirked. “People marry on the Isle near everyday,” he teased. “But I do catch your meaning. No, a royal has never married on the Isle of Colde before. But when it comes to you,” at this he gestured to me, “…tradition is not applicable. Your presence violates all traditions, all norms- you make them insufficient. Your presence and your child’s existence require new traditions and norms to be set. Saligia is forever changed by you and your lineage. There is no returning to what was.”

I felt Toa’s body relax somewhat beside me for the first time since early the previous day. “You would officiate our marriage?” he asked softly, almost disbelieving. “And… if you did… I believe it would be difficult for my father to argue against it.”

The headmaster nodded, satisfied with Toa’s conclusion. “Precisely. After all, recall that your father was my pupil. I do have some idea of how he reasons.” With that, he called for Nix to come and collect our mostly untouched tea and cookies, and dismissed us with a casual wave. “Master Qelsum, when the timing is to your preference, let me know of your decision. I am happy to assist. You will need witnesses, but I think you will find that there are many people at this Academy who will stand behind you.”

Toa slung an arm across my shoulders and pulled me close. He gave a curt nod. “Yes. You will hear from me shortly.”

We descended the tower and walked quietly across campus, seemingly headed in no particular direction. His grip on my hand was firm. He seemed much more assured and confident than when we went to visit, though I could tell the possible risk to my health still haunted him. I reached out and pulled him to a stop and confused, he turned to look back at me.

I collapsed against him into a tight hug. Just as quickly he folded his arms around me and squeezed tight. My paramour was not one for PDA, but at this moment no one else existed in the world. He planted a kiss to the top of my head and tucked me close as possible under his chin.

“I love you. More than anything.”

I buried my face in his jacket. “I know you do. I love you more than anything as well.”

He pulled back and held my face in his hands, cradling me as though I was some precious fragile thing. “I don’t want to be misunderstood. When I said I would support you ending… it, I did not mean that I didn’t also want that future with you,” he whispered, his voice so quiet I had to strain to hear him. “I am just scared. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I smiled up at him and layered my hands over his. “I know. But honestly, despite everything, I have a good feeling about everything. I think things will work out for us.”

He smiled back down at me and was quiet for a moment before pulling me along with him. “I have somewhere I want to take you.”

At this, he took me around to a secluded area on the side of the Academy grounds, beneath the balconies off of the ballroom. As the day slunk into sunset the sunlight filtered orange through the trees and illuminated the quiet courtyard and gardens into brilliant jewel shades. I remembered it very well as the place those two years ago where I’d regained my memories and been assaulted with the desperate need to find Toa, only to find him looking for me as well.

Just like then, here Toa stood before me. But unlike then, he sunk onto one knee and brought the back of my hand to his lips. His eyes were the most brilliant blue I’d ever seen them and possessed a peace I’d not seen in them too many times before.

“I was not planning to ask under these circumstances,” he began, sucking in a deep breath. “But as the headmaster so kindly revealed, I was planning to ask this question in the very near future: regardless of any official approval, regardless of any Qelsan rules, regardless of any of my sister’s plots. I love you. Desperately. And I want to be yours forever, if you’ll have me. Will you marry me?” At this, he fished a small box from his pocket and opened it to reveal a sapphire gem on a gold band.

My face felt hot and damp and I reached up to wipe away the tears I hadn’t realized were falling. “Were you just carrying that around this whole time?” I laughed through my tears.

He pursed his lips into a slight pout. “…Yes. I didn’t want anyone to find it and ruin my plans,” he muttered. An image of Fenn, Knight, or myself stumbling upon it came to mind and I giggled. Below me, Toa gave me a nervous look and shifted awkwardly on his knee. “…Well?”

“Oh! Yes, of course!” I shouted. He slipped the ring onto my finger and I pulled him up into a kiss then flung myself into his arms. His arms wrapped around my waist tightly and he swung me lightly off my feet.

“I had to ask the headmaster for advice and for information about Earth marriage customs,” Toa mumbled sheepishly into my neck. “I wanted to do it the way it’s done in your country.”

“You did beautifully.” I laughed again and brought his face to mine for another kiss, relishing the pink of his cheeks. He seemed relieved at this and I giggled again, earning another pout.

“You keep laughing at me,” he muttered, and before I could get another word in, he picked me up into a bridal carry and began to walk off rather briskly in the direction of the dorms. I shrank a bit as we turned the corner and went past various students, who all turned their heads to look at us as we went.

I hid my face with a hand. “Everyone is looking.”

Toa chuckled against my ear. “For once, I find that I don’t mind it.”

—----

It was the dead of night. Above us the stars were overwhelmingly brilliant, or so it seemed to me. It could’ve been cloudy and the night would have seemed beautiful to me.

I stood in one of the hilltop chapel’s back rooms as Sherry and Violet fussed over the details of my makeup and hair. In the mirror I saw my reflection stare back at me: hair curled and pinned up perfectly and makeup done much better than I could’ve managed on my own. It’d been a quick, thrown-together little occasion, and intensely private, but despite this it’d come out lovely. The headmaster had been right when he’d said that we had more people behind us than we knew: I’d convinced Toa that we could rely on the help of the other princes as well as the valets and my dear friends, and when they’d been told of our plans they’d sprung into action: Rio and Tino organizing food, Sherry and Violet helping with my dress and with the floral arrangements, Fenn acting as the bartender, various princes doing the music, and others showing up just to lend pure moral support.

“I think you’re ready,” Violet declared, both of her hands on my shoulders behind me. “Well? How are you feeling?”

I looked down at my temporarily bare ring finger. “Good. Excited.” I smiled at the mirror to see both my dear friends with tears in their eyes. Sherry handed me my bouquet of blue and white flowers: a mix of what looked to me like delphinium, bellflowers, and ranunculus.

“You look perfect, MC,” Sherry whispered through her tears.

I smiled at her. Neither of my friends knew the precise reason why we were having the wedding so suddenly, and I found myself desperate to tell them, but Toa and I had agreed to keep the knowledge quiet until it couldn’t be hidden anymore. I resisted the urge to pat my stomach and nodded at the sound of music beginning out in the sanctuary. “Sounds like it’s time.”

The wedding was mostly influenced by Earth traditions, though I’d nixed the idea of having a bridal party or anyone to give me away, so I walked down the aisle of the church alone: or, alone as far as anyone could tell. Toa was in his usual dressed-up prince outfit he wore to official functions and was standing at the end of the aisle with the headmaster, who beamed at me. Toa’s own expression was solemn but as I got closer I could see that his eyes were shining with unshed tears.

Toa took my hands in his as I passed my bouquet off and looked out across the pews: All of the princes were here, even Guy (who looked surprisingly unbothered by the whole affair) and Lance (who looked somewhat disgruntled about it and had been clearly drug there by Fenn). I smiled out at them and turned to face my fiance again.

The headmaster placed a hand on each of our shoulders. “Everyone, welcome!” He greeted our small collection of friends. “Thank you for attending so late in the evening. Tonight we are gathered here for the marriage of Prince Qelsum and MC.”

We proceeded with our vows and the exchanging of our rings, then when given the direction to do so, Toa brought me close by my waist, cupped my face in his hands, and kissed me boldly as applause erupted around us and I smiled against his lips. We parted but stayed close, his gaze tracing my face as though trying to memorize every bit of the moment we were in. For that matter, I was doing the same thing: trying to memorize the moment forever and forget that by tomorrow or at least the end of the week we’d likely be embroiled in the full scandal that this news would bring on us once the headmaster relayed it to King Gilbert. But for now, it was perfect.

The party itself was fun- I avoided drinking by discreetly passing my glasses off to the headmaster or Toa and drinking cup after cup of punch and water, and spent the night dancing as long as I possibly could. By the time festivities concluded and we retreated home to Toa’s room to crash in the early hours of the morning, my feet ached and Toa had consumed so many of my abandoned cocktails that he swayed while he walked. We stumbled into his room together giggling like children and collapsed onto the bed, enmeshed together like puzzle pieces.

Toa rolled over onto me and began to kiss every bit of skin he could access- featherlight, ticklish, teasing sorts of kisses. I laughed and I could feel his lips turn up against my neck. “You know,” he mumbled into my ear. “I think you’re right.”

“Wh-what about?” I breathed through a laugh.

He hummed a bit and grabbed me by my hips, rolling me over so that I was straddling him underneath me. One hand went for my belly and the other for my cheek. His eyes fell to my middle as he rubbed gently. “I think you’re right that everything will turn out well.”

“Really? What brought this on?”

He looked back up at me and an abnormally affectionate, goofy smile took hold of his features. “When I saw you walk toward me, I just knew it.” He ran his fingers down my cheek to trace down my side and then picked up one hand, bringing it to his lips, kissing it and then resting my palm against his cheek. “I think everything was meant to happen as it has. Fate. I never really have believed in that sort of thing but I do, for you. And for her.” At this, he poked a finger at my still flat stomach.

I giggled. “Her? A bit early to know anything about that.”

He shrugged. “I just have a sense about it.” With that, he yanked me down toward him and rolled us underneath the covers, wedding clothes and all still on and held me so close I could hardly breathe. He set his chin on the top of my head and nuzzled in, and I snuggled against his chest, relishing the strangely emotionally available Toa I had that night.

I snuck a glance at the ring on my finger, now accompanied by a matching band. Wedding rings were one of the few traditions in Saligia that matched up with Earth, so when I went out tomorrow it would be clear to everyone what had occurred, despite keeping the wedding itself quiet. The blue gem glinted in the moonlight coming in through the far window. It was an oddly perfect match for his eyes- which now were closed as he’d fallen deeply asleep. I wondered to myself if we really would have a daughter, and if she’d share his eyes. I hoped so.

—-----

As predicted, the ensuing few weeks were a rather intense whirlwind- of fanfare and jealousy from the “Toa-sters” and stern letters from the king as well as other members of the royal family and cabinet. As predicted, my status as a supposed Avarian brought on a lot of scrutiny and there were apparently discussions of forcible repatriation, but also as predicted the fact that the headmaster had officiated and that members of the other nations’ royal families were in attendance to our nuptials gave us an amount of legitimacy that couldn’t be overcome. Our marriage was, very begrudgingly, accepted. From there, Toa successfully negotiated for us to remain on the Isle of Colde rather than being absorbed immediately into the royal duties typical of a couple: however, the inevitable reveal of the pregnancy would likely reinvigorate those negotiations.

In the following months I took to wearing looser clothing for as long as I could as my midsection began to expand from flat to tiny curve to outright bump. I relished this time as I could still attend classes most days and any excitement I felt remained private between Toa and I. However, by the time I reached four months of pregnancy, it was no longer discreet and I took to hiding in Toa’s room for fear of emerging and having it spotted, no matter how much I was reassured that it wasn’t that visible yet. When I moved, I swore that the fabric gathered around the underside of the swell in a way that made me look… well, pregnant.

“You really won’t attend classes today?” Knight asked, pushing in a tray of teas and assorted breakfast items. I laid in bed still, despite it being late morning, and rolled over to smile at him.

I reached over and snagged a small donut from the tray as I sat up. “Nope. Too pregnant now. Officially.”

Toa crossed over from the other side of the room where he’d been getting ready to leave and teach his first class of the morning. He sat on the end of the bed and reached a hand to place on the bump.

“I’m in agreement,” Toa said. “I wasn’t sure about it when you said so last night, but it is becoming too obvious now. Besides,” at this, he gave me a nervous look, “…we were going to have to break the news at some point.”

I nodded and popped the donut into my mouth. “Mmhm. Are we just going to, like… announce it in a statement or something? Have a party about it?” I sat up a bit and pulled my shirt tight. “I could just walk around in tight clothes and let people figure it out.”

He shook his head. “No, I’ve already discussed it with the headmaster. We will host a small announcement party among the princes and then release a statement. Unfortunately for safety reasons you will need to start staying in here more often. We’re still a bit unsure of what the reaction will be from the king or Idina.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Even with the headmaster’s blessing, huh?”

Toa sighed. “It’s better to be safe than sorry.” He gave me a fond look and looked down at my belly as he rubbed it gently. “…That said, I will be sad to have our secret exposed. It’s been nice to… have it just be for ourselves.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead, at which point Knight cleared his throat awkwardly and gestured for the door.

“Your class starts shortly, Toa. I can go ahead early and set up before you arrive.”

“Thank you.” Toa stood from the bed and watched as Knight swiftly made his exit from the room. He chuckled a bit and brushed his hand down my face affectionately, though I could still detect the hint of nervousness. Over and over again in the last few months he’d told me that the worrying and planning was his responsibility and not mine, and I could see the result of it in the gathering dark circles under his eyes. Of course, I worried too, but there were certain aspects of his duties I couldn’t access even if I could convince him to share the burden.

Before he could leave, I caught him by the edge of his cloak and slid out from the bed, rising to the tips of my toes to kiss him. He immediately pulled me in by the waist and kissed me back soundly. When we parted, his blue eyes were foggy with affection and desire, which he quickly blinked away as he stepped back.

“Have a good class,” I murmured.

He nodded and stepped in again for a final kiss on the cheek. “I will.”

—--

With the headmaster’s advice, we held a small get-together with all the princes the following evening. Toa dressed in his usual, I dressed in a looser blue dress with a shimmery white shawl that hung loose across my shoulders and provided a bit of a disguise to my belly. I stood in front of the mirror and adjusted it around my shoulders so that it hung in layers across the front of my body, then turned at different angles to ensure that I’d covered well.

“What do you think?” I asked as Toa came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my middle.

“You look lovely,” he responded, kissing my cheek and making me giggle and squirm.

“Are you ready to get this over with?” I turned to face him slightly and cringed as my voice rose nervously.

“…Yes,” he breathed out. The tension in his jaw and shoulders was palpable so I reached out to cup his face in my palm. He smiled and leaned against it, then kissed my hand and captured it in his. “The sooner the news is out, the sooner we can make plans and deal with the political fallout.”

I nodded. “Only five months now,” I whispered, mostly to myself. By then, we would have passed through the winter months and emerged into springtime. It’d been lucky timing for the beginning of my pregnancy, as the burgeoning coldness of fall had given me ample excuse to dress more conservatively. Thinking of the coming spring sent a thrill of both anticipation and anxiety through me- seemingly through both of us, actually, as Toa squeezed my hand a bit more firmly.

“In five months, I will have arrangements in place. I promise. There will be no need for any worry.” Toa said firmly. There was a grave look on his face and an intense light in his eyes. “I promise I will keep both of you safe.”

“I believe you,” I whispered back.

He looped my elbow through his and escorted me out to the S rank common room, which was, at my request, set up for a very simple party, with sparse decorations and minimal refreshments rather than the overblown and extravagant amount usually done for a party among the princes. We entered the room to find all of the other princes, including Rio (and by some miracle Lance as well), already present, in addition to Sherry and the valets. I’d come to consider the valets and Sherry good friends in my time at the Academy and convinced Toa to expand the announcement party’s invite list to accommodate them. It felt a bit odd and distant to announce something so personal to friends through some official royal decree. I’d managed to come to terms with the fact that many things about the pregnancy would be different than I’d imagined it being when I was back on earth, but that was one thing I couldn’t accept.

“MC! You look positively lovely!” Sherry exclaimed. She and Violet both stole me away from Toa’s side nearly instantly to marvel over my outfit and immediately I felt some of the tension melt from my body. This interaction at least felt normal.

“…Thank you,” I laughed. I waved the shimmery shawl around and for a moment let them ‘ooooh’ and ‘ahhhh’ over the way the sparkles caught the candlelight.

“What in Saligia is this party about, anyway?” Violet asked, tossing an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t tell me you’re repatriating to Qelsum so soon!” She stuck out a lower lip into a pout and crushed me against her chest.

“N-no, that’s not it…” I mumbled against her bosom. “It’s something else.”

Sherry sighed and gently extricated me from Violet’s grasp. “Well, is it good news? Truly, the two of us have been most worried since we received the invite. The tone was rather… serious.”

I rolled my eyes a bit. “Yes, well, that would be because Toa wrote the invites instead of letting me do it,” I mumbled. Sure, the news was meaningful, but I’d caught a look at the invites before Knight set out to deliver them and the language had made the event sound more like a sudden mandatory exam rather than an announcement party for something that was supposed to be a happy occasion. In fact, the rest of the room seemed tense and awkward, as though holding in an anxious breath.

Roy stood from his nearby seat and greeted us with a prim bow. “Master Toa, Miss Katie,” he said. His usual pristine smile was painted on his face. “I am glad to see you are well. It is as Sherry has said- we were somewhat concerned at the sudden directive to meet here. I am happy to overhear that it is perhaps… less dire than assumed?” “Yes. It should be a short affair. We are just waiting for the headmaster to arrive.” Toa responded. He wrung his hands- the one way he fidgeted when he couldn’t pace through his nerves.

Roy blinked. “The headmaster will be in attendance for this? He rarely comes to the events we hold here. Are you certain that nothing is amiss?”

Toa nodded and gestured me to the sofa to sit beside Lynt, who was nodding off on Guy’s shoulder. “Everything is fine,” he replied in a completely unconvincing tone that made Lynt’s eyes open just a tad and thin blond brows furrow in concern. I sat down quickly and wrapped my shawl protectively around my waist.

“I would hate for anything to be wrong,” Lynt mumbled through a yawn. He frowned in my direction. “Is… there trouble with the king, Toa?”

Toa’s jaw clenched and he looked away. “…No. Not right now.” He stood beside the arm of the sofa and laid one protective hand on my shoulder, glancing toward the door as he spoke, as though willing the headmaster to arrive.

I looked up from where I’d let my gaze fall into my lap to spot Fenn sitting across from me, an unnervingly knowing smirk on his face. Giving him a mild glare, I shook my head at him just slightly, to which he shrugged and settled back against his seat, passing his cane between his hands absentmindedly.

“I have the sense that it may be happy news,” Fenn purred.

Lynt, seemingly content with this, smiled serenely and settled back against Guy, who sighed in annoyance. “Oh, good.”

Guy slowly attempted to shuffle out from under Lynt’s grasp at the exact moment that the double doors opened and the headmaster strode in amidst the flurry of his white cloak floating around him like a cloud. All our attention snapped to him and he gave us all a nod.

“Well, hello to everyone. It would seem we are all here, then,” he said, striding across the room to take the final remaining single seat and then peer from under his cloak hood across the room at Toa, the only one among us who was still standing. “Well then, Prince Toa. Go on.”

At this, Toa pulled me to my feet beside him and held me close. He sucked in a nervous breath and scanned the room for a moment. The faces before us were a mix of confused, expectant, worried, and irritated, and in that drawn out split second before Toa spoke, I tried to memorize the moment. There would forever be a before the world knew, and an after.

“MC is pregnant.”

Everyone’s eyes went wide. I shuffled my shawl off my shoulders and tugged the fabric of my dress tighter to show the bump, which only made our party guests gasp- a mixture of shock and surprise.

Fenn laughed. “Goodness, you certainly move quickly.”

Lynt smiled serenely again. “You were right, Fenn. That is good news. Lovely,” he murmured.

“A-Already?” Roy stammered. “You’ve only just…”

Toa frowned at them slightly. “Yes. Earlier than intended,” he said awkwardly. When I looked up, I could detect the faintest hint of red tinging his ears. “That said- it is good news. We wanted to express it to you all here in advance of making an official statement.”

Roy leaned forward, his expression tense. “Given the… circumstances, will you two be returning to Qelsum, then?”

Before Toa could respond, the headmaster piped up. “We are attempting to do what we must to prevent that. There are certain reasons why it would be more advantageous for MC to remain on the Isle of Colde. As I’m sure you’re aware.”

The S rank princes nodded at this, mulling it over. Meanwhile, Sherry and Rio looked befuddled. My status as an earth resident had not been related to anyone outside of those who found me the night I arrived and a few of their valets. I’d campaigned for the right to tell them, but hadn’t succeeded. They’d have to know soon enough, but for now we opted to talk around the issue.

Guy’s eyes were narrowed and seemingly glaring a hole directly into my midsection. “This child of yours. It could disrupt everything,” he said coldly. He stared up at Toa. “Have you any plan for what to do?”

Toa tugged me closer still and returned Guy’s glare. “Yes.”

The tension in the room grew thick and uncomfortable. “It was going to happen at one point or another, frankly,” I added weakly. “It’s not as though this could be avoided forever, y’know?” I patted my stomach and smiled at everyone in the room. The mixture of confusion and worry among my friends made my stomach turn slightly, so I turned away and took a deep breath.

Noticing my anxiety, Toa rubbed my shoulder and gestured for me to sit back down on the couch. I did, and Toa continued to speak to the group. “She is right. It was going to happen at one point or another. We are going to attempt to stay on the Isle of Colde for as long as possible in order that the headmaster may monitor the situation. As you know, this complicates an already complicated situation, what with MC being… Avarian. You are aware of my sister’s proclivity for using force, so remaining here is safest.”

The others nodded in agreement. It was true, they all knew how Idina had reacted to me in the previous times we’d interacted. She’d broken Toa’s watch to test me and tried to kill me in Qelsum itself on more than one occasion. It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that she’d try to off me before I could give birth, whether she knew I was pregnant already or not. While Qelsum was incredibly safe for pregnant people generally, with its highly advanced medical system, it wasn’t safe for me.

The room fell awkwardly silent until Roy spoke. “Well, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we will do our utmost to look out for MC’s wellbeing in this time.”

“Agreed,” Fenn chimed in.

“Of course,” said Lynt, blinking out of his sleepy haze.

“…Jasper will keep an eye on those coming in and leaving the Isle for any signs of foul play,” Guy volunteered reluctantly. “…She is, after all, a citizen of Avari.”

Toa bristled slightly at that remark but brushed it off and bowed in thanks to the princes. “Thank you all for your understanding. Now,” he gestured to the spread of hors d'oeuvres behind us. “…Let’s have this party we promised.”

Throughout the remainder of the afternoon the mood in the common room lightened and I spent the rest of it eating copious amounts of sugar and fielding questions from the other attendees, especially Sherry and Violet, who were an understandable mixture of curious, terrified, and excited for me. I told them when I’d found out (a revelation that definitely gave away that I’d been knocked up before the wedding, something they giggled at but didn’t tease me too much for) and how I was feeling about it all. The moment felt almost normal, something I was grateful for. The past few months had felt anything but normal.

Things came to their natural end and Toa and I retired back to his room, though he ushered me to bed and sat down immediately at his desk to write out the language of the official announcement that would be sent to Qelsum. Curled under the covers, I watched him through the blue haze of the bed canopy write one line, then crumple the paper, write a few new lines, shake his head, and start over again. As I dazed off, he finally seemed to find the right verbiage as he rolled the paper up, slotted it into a case, and then summoned a messenger bird to take it from him at the far window. He slunk into bed beside me with a heavy sigh and I rolled into his arms, halfway asleep already.

He ran his hands through my hair and kissed the crown of my head. “We’ve done it.”

“Mmmmhmm.”

“All that’s left now is to wait,” he murmured against my hair. And he was right: that was all that was left to do now.

—-----

The following two months were spent almost entirely in Toa’s bedroom, cooped up inside where I could be safe and much less likely to run into anyone who could do me any harm. His worry for my safety was well-founded, but it meant that the only times I stepped out were when I had him by my side- which was much less than either of us liked as he was frequently visiting with the headmaster or negotiating some aspect of our stay on Colde. It had begun to feel more and more necessary to break the news to King Gilbert that I was in fact, an oddity from planet Earth, but Toa was extremely resistant to this. He would return late at night and spend hours at his desk before retiring beside me in bed. Whatever time we did have together was spent going over my health or discussing plans for the birth. The concept that at the end of it, we’d have an actual baby was a bit distant.

On a particularly stormy Friday, classes were canceled due to the inclement weather and when Toa returned early to our room I had decided to throw every once of my pregnant weight behind convincing him to take me out, even with the rain. I’d begun to go stir-crazy to the point of driving my cat and Knight somewhat insane.

The moment the door swung open, I stood from the couch immediately and intercepted him at the doorway. He jumped a bit but set his things down and opened his arms as I nestled in against him.

“What’s this about?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing. I just miss you. I heard classes were canceled for the day,” I murmured, looking up at him and trying my best to put on a pair of doe-eyes.

He sighed. “Yes. It’s a heavy enough downpour that some of the classrooms have leaked. It will take some time to repair, so instead we are having an early weekend.” He studied my expression for a moment before laughing a bit under his breath. “You look like you want something.”

“I do.”

“Oh?”

“I want to go somewhere with you. Anywhere, just out of this room. Preferably out of the Academy for a little while. Please?”

His brows furrowed skeptically. “We need to minimize risk as much as possible…”

“I’m going nuts just locked up in here. Plus everyone knows now anyway, there’s nothing to hide- not that I could, anyway,” I said, stepping back and gesturing to my bump, which had grown significantly. I stared up at him pleadingly. “Please? Some fresh air and movement would be good for me anyways. It says that’s good for pregnancy in all those books, y’know.”

Toa pinched at the bridge of his nose and sighed. “…You are right, it does say that,” he mumbled. Toa, the ever-studious one he was, had been binging any pregnancy, baby, and parenting books he could get his hands on, which meant that whenever he wasn’t in our room I could steal from his extensive collection and flip through them myself. Some of the advice was generic, other advice was specific to thaumaturge pregnancies and children (even infants could wield some degree of magic as it turned out, which made baby-proofing a house even more important). I wondered how he was retaining any of it. That said, I’d retained enough myself to know that few doctors would be pleased at my lack of activity.

I grabbed both Toa’s hands in mine. “So? Can we at least go for a walk? Please?” I pouted slightly and watched as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Yes, yes, we can go. For a little while. Dress warmly and wear sturdy shoes. And promise to stay close to me,” he chided me as I silently cheered in delight and went to retrieve my coat. “Knight, if you will notify the headmaster that we are stepping out, that would be appreciated.”

“Will do!” Knight replied and rushed out the door behind us.

I thudded down onto the couch, sucked in a breath, and lunged over the bump to tug on a pair of boots- at which Toa knelt before me and stole the boot out of my hands, giving me a gently reprimanding look, and slid it onto my foot himself, gingerly lacing it up as though he was handling glass.

“You ought to ask for help as often as you can,” Toa said as he laced up the second boot. He peered up at me as he set my foot down on the ground again. “Especially as you progress. I mean to be there for you in every sense possible.” He stood up and proffered his elbow, which I grasped onto and allowed myself to be pulled up. With magic he summoned my coat from within the closet and slipped it over my shoulders. He tugged the hood over my head with a satisfied nod.

“I don’t need you to do everything for me,” I protested faintly.

He laughed derisively in response and placed a hand on my belly, his expression growing serious. “I feel powerless sometimes. At least allow me to do this. For both you and her.”

I blinked up at him from underneath my hood. “You’re anything but! You’ve been doing so much, Toa, and…” I cut off, then laughed. “And you’re so insistent that it’s a girl.”

He led me along toward the door. “I don’t know why but… I have a strong feeling about it.”

We made our way strolling through the Academy grounds and toward town, winding around large puddles and over the looser cobblestones with surgical precision. Toa’s eyes remained trained on the ground in front of us scanning for any potential pitfalls.

“Staying dry? Are you comfortable?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m perfect,” I laughed. “Y’know, I’m not that fragile. You don’t have to worry so much.”

Toa shook his head. “You say that, but I’ve seen how you are when your center of balance is normal. No precaution is worth overlooking.” Of course, at that moment I stepped wrong and nearly slipped forward, at which Toa yanked me upward against him. “…Like that.” His breath was hot against my neck and I shuddered as a blush flooded across my face. With another sigh, Toa bent down and hoisted me up bridal style and began walking in confident stridges.

“I don’t need to be carried because I slipped once!” I protested.

For a moment, Toa remained silent, simply tightening his grip under my knees and around my back. I stared at his profile, watching as flickers of emotion passed through his eyes. He leaned to place a kiss on my brow. “…Let me do this. It… soothes my own anxiety.” His voice was weak as he responded.

I relented and curled into him. “…Alright.”

We made our way through the mostly empty streets without much issue. Our cloaks provided a degree of disguise, so even with the spectacle of being carried around no one especially noticed us. We took side streets I was unfamiliar with until we broke through the last alleyway and into a green open space full of flowers and well-kept gravel pathways.

“I’ve never been here before,” I said. Toa slowly lowered me down to my feet, keeping an arm looped around my waist.

“It’s a park near the church. This should be a safe location for us to walk.”

I was inclined to agree- it did look safe and easy to navigate. The pathways were even and flat, with little to throw me off balance. Beyond this, I could feel the rain begin to lessen and as I looked up toward the clouds, a couple rays burst through the gray and dappled the grass in beams of light that illuminated it in brilliant shades of green. I smiled up at Toa and gave him a squeeze. “It’s perfect, thank you.”

His eyes softened. “Anything for you.”

We walked the park loop, which was not especially long but as I’d begun to waddle while walking it took us a good deal longer than I’d anticipated. It turned out that the park also served partially as a playground for the town school, and as the end-of-day bell rung and children poured out from the schoolhouse, we were suddenly in the midst of a stampede of children meeting their parents to return home, or joining their friends for a game of tag. Worried by the commotion, Toa bade me to sit on a nearby bench until the area cleared a bit and joined me there. As we watched the children, I began to giggle to myself.

Toa raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Do you remember when you were serving as a doctor on the Isle here for that volunteer thing the headmaster made you all do? And I was assisting you? And there was that little boy who wouldn’t tell you what was wrong?”

He smiled wryly. “…Yes. Yes, I remember you teaching me the importance of proper bedside manner with children,” he chuckled. “Without your help, I’m not sure I would have been able to help him at all.”

We laughed, reminiscing on it. That had occurred in the earlier days of our relationship. Now, Toa had softened quite a bit since then: his rough, colder edges had been smoothed and the warmth that hid behind his frozen demeanor sometimes seeped through, if only usually for me. Two years ago, imagining him as a father would have been more difficult.

At that moment, another couple passed by us, the father holding what looked to be a brand new baby wrapped up in a sling and tucked tight against his chest. The mother leaned against his arm as they walked, the two of them peering down at their baby’s sleeping face, remarking on the delicate features: the tiny fingernails, the tufts of soft brown hair, the faint eyelashes dusting the rounded cheeks. It was only a brief moment and they were gone, but beside me Toa had gone silent and pensive, his eyes glazed over as though faraway in thought.

“Toa?”

He started. “…Yes?” He looked over and then looked away just as quickly to let his gaze fall into his lap. “…That… that will be us soon,” he murmured so softly that I could barely hear his voice over the chorus of children’s laughter and the wind rustling the trees. He met my gaze again after a few moments of silence, then brought my mouth to his with a force and firmness I hadn’t expected, eliciting a gasp of surprise.

When he pulled back, I noted the look of calm self assurance and peace that had washed over him. “It doesn’t matter what happens or what my father thinks. If it comes to it, I will choose you and our family, always.” He laid a hand on my belly and allowed a smile to push up against the corner of his lips. “…Our baby. Always.”

I layered my hand over his and blinked back tears. “I know you will.”

—----

The final three months of my pregnancy both whipped by and dripped like molasses: I’d been miraculously symptom-free for much of it, with an easy first and second trimester, but the final stretch brought on aches, pains, and general discomfort that Toa tended to with a swiftness and premonition that made me wonder if he could read minds. Rubbing my swollen feet, helping me up off chairs and out of bed, keeping me fed and watered at all times- he was attentive to a fault.

The business with the king and negotiating had come to a culmination as I turned the corner into the eighth month: I would, in fact, do the historically unprecedented thing and birth the baby on the Isle of Colde, but within the week we would board the ship to Qelsum with our child in tow. The headmaster had been involved as well, and accordinging to Toa the negotiations had required my identity to be slightly hinted at- something Toa was not pleased about. King Gilbert didn’t know I was from Earth, but he did know that there was something abnormal about my magic. What would come of that, we had no idea. Toa was unsettled by his father on a good day, let alone when we were arguing for our future. “Even in letters, he’s difficult to read,” he’d told me. “He’s always thinking ten steps ahead. I can’t predict what he’s going to do.”

So that was that. There was nothing left to do but wait for things to happen. I rarely left Toa’s room except for very late at night or very early in the morning, when few other students would be out and I could wander around without running into anyone. During the daytime, Sherry, Rio, Violet, and some of the others would visit. I received a sizable amount of gifts, some of which were practical, some of which were food, and some of which were Saligian baby items I had no context for and that Toa had to explain to me. Special toys meant to teach early magic channeling, magically baby-proofed bassinets and child locks were among a few of the gifts we received.

Toa became intensely protective as we neared the end. He’d always been a bit irritable with Fenn’s touchiness, but when Fenn had tried to lay an uninvited hand on my midsection Toa had nearly broken it on impulse. Fenn wasn’t terribly swayed by this, however, and laughed it off. Roy kept a respectful distance, asking passing questions about my wellbeing, with Toa lurking near me like some kind of foreboding stormcloud. Guy did not come near me whatsoever, which was a wise choice, but Jasper would sometimes come by and inquire, though if Toa were the one to answer the door he could hardly get a word in before having the door shut in his face. When Lynt or Tino visited, Toa did not react whatsoever since the two Akedians were obviously harmless, but kept a careful eye. The lack of ability to do anything to improve our situation at this juncture was fraying his nerves, so I looked past it. I’d avoided most of the pregnancy mood swings myself and joked that I’d just passed them onto my husband instead.

Every little cramp or pain was cause for alarm, for both Toa and Knight. Toa of course had spent so much time reading on pregnancy and birth that he was well aware that not everything was a sign of impending labor, but it didn’t prevent him from stopping everything he was doing to check whenever I’d grunt a bit too much or say “ow” about anything. Knight would gasp and stand, offering to find the headmaster, which I’d always stop him from doing. That was another part of it: the headmaster would be present for the birth. Which was weird, but any idea of a normal birth with exactly who I’d want there had changed when my mother died back on Earth, and whatever vague image I’d had after then had shattered entirely upon coming to Saligia. I was strangely okay with it. So much of everything was outside of my control: I just surrendered to it.

The season changed from winter to spring. I’d gotten pregnant sometime around Toa’s birthday (a fact that I’d turned into a bit of a joke- one that I thought was very funny but Toa did not find nearly as amusing), so now that was about April, the baby could come anytime. But our child seemed… unwilling to budge. So we scoured the baby books for methods of inducing labor. Teas, tinctures, exercises, certain kinds of foods, and even multiple romps in the sheets did little to get things going. Time slowed to what felt like a standstill in the final few days.

Until it happened.

It would figure that a dramatic entrance would be our daughter’s choice, in retrospect. During one of the very rare moments I was waddling myself to the infirmary rather than having the midwife meet me in our room, I felt a sudden gush of water and froze in my tracks. Toa, by my side, was momentarily puzzled, but upon seeing the puddle at my feet sprung into action, ushering me back into our room and ordering Knight to fetch the headmaster. I tried to protest this, but he’d already zipped out of the room like his feet were on fire.

I’d prepared myself mentally to slog through many, many hours of labor, but perhaps due to my magic, the baby’s magic, or just some kind of genetic or random happenstance, it passed rapidly: much more rapidly than anyone had expected. It felt as though one moment I was in the hallway with wet skirts and another moment I was on my hands and knees, my entire body alive with pain, with Toa behind me scrambling to catch her as the midwives and nurses held me. Of course, it had been longer than that- a few hours, actually- but it felt as though time had gone from stretched and slow to rapid and compressed. The physical shock of it all had me dazed and faint, but when I turned over I saw him there: his expression frozen in awe, his shirt sleeves rolled up, and the tiniest little screaming thing in his arms.

“I was right,” he breathed. “It’s a girl.”

I laughed.

Luckily, the headmaster detected no especially concerning magical abnormalities about either of us: I had apparently called on my own magic to some extent, but not enough for any real concern. I could feel it thrumming through my veins as I held her, as though we were connected by my magic still, somehow. Everytime I touched her I felt a slight but electrifying crackle pass between us- but kept that detail to myself like a secret. Both Toa and I were utterly enamored and memorized every detail we could about her. She took after him in appearance almost entirely, something that came as a massive relief to me. Her hair was blue but most importantly, her eyes were blue: the same brilliant cobalt and cerulean color as Toa’s.

Once the dust had more or less settled- I was clean and dressed, baby was clean and swaddled, bed was remade, midwives and the headmaster had left- Toa and I settled on the bed together, completely silent. Knight even had vacated the room after seeing her briefly to quietly announce to the other S rank princes that she’d been born. So everything was suddenly still. I was almost afraid to breathe for fear of disturbing the strange sense of peace that enveloped us. I felt as though I was floating, existing outside of time and space in the moment.

Toa laid one hand over her back as she laid across my chest. Most of her body fit under the length of his palm. It was rare to see him teary, but his eyes had been wet since the headmaster had declared nothing abnormal in our magic and the medical staff had given us a clean bill of health. It was as though he too had been holding his breath until then. Now, he was opening up again. I could sense a bone-deep relief rolling off him in waves. Off of both of us, truly. He moved in closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, tucking us in toward him, and closed his eyes.

I tried to think of something to say, but couldn’t. There were things to deal with, to think, to mull over, to prepare for, but nothing felt meaningful besides drinking in the moment. I hadn’t had a family since Earth, and even back then, I’d been alone for years since my parents had died. I’d had no nearby extended family either. I was a little island, adrift and staying afloat alone by my own grit and tenacity. It was lonely. But since I’d come to Saligia, I hadn’t been anymore- I’d found a family in the form of Toa, Knight, the other princes, Sherry, and Violet. And now, a child. Another person in the world who shared a piece of me.

“You’re crying.”

Toa’s hand was at my cheek now, wiping away tears that cascaded down my cheeks in a torrent I couldn’t dam. I hadn’t realized that I’d been crying. When I looked over at him, I saw my own expression mirrored. “You’re crying too,” I replied through a choked sob.

He chuckled a bit at himself and wiped his own cheek. “Yes,” he laughed. “I am. I was just thinking about everything.”

“…Me too.” I whispered.

We both stared down at her as she stirred in my arms a bit. I realized then, that we’d not really discussed names. We’d discussed everything else, but not that. I pursed my lips, rifling through the names I knew off the top of my head. Saligian names had some overlap with Earth names, but not entirely. I wanted the name to have meaning- some connection to the strange circumstances of her birth.

“Is Isla a name in Saligia?”

“Isla? Yes… it is.” Toa blinked at me.

“I think it would work for her. Born on an island. Isla.” I suggested.

His expression grew contemplative, before he nodded firmly in agreement. “Yes. I like that. …Isla…” he trailed off while looking at her, as though mentally fitting the name onto her tiny face.

And so: we had a baby, a daughter named Isla.

—----

Our goodbye from the Isle of Colde was deeply bittersweet. It was an especially cold day but made colder by the fact we were all standing at the docks and the wind whipped flecks of seawater against our clothes. Isla was bundled tightly against my chest and I tucked the lapels of my coat around her further. A crowd had gathered around us to see us off but our friends were at the front. I hugged Sherry, Violet, and Rio tearfully goodbye. Truthfully, neither Toa nor I had any clue what awaited us in Qelsum, but knew there was no putting it off. The thought of willingly bringing my baby there filled me with dread. Idina’s attempt to kill me weighed heavy in my mind. I held Isla closer to me and kissed the top of her downy little head. It felt safer, better, to have her as close as physically possible, as though our hearts and energies were connected intrinsically.

Toa helped me up the gangplank and we stood, waving as the boat pulled away until the Isle of Colde disappeared entirely from view and all that was around us was the expanse of flat blue ocean. A chapter had closed forever.

I let out a shaky breath and Toa pulled me gingerly into an embrace, careful not to squish Isla between us. He rested his chin on top of my head and we stared out at the water together. “I’ve said it before,” he whispered. His voice felt like it blended into the ocean mist. “…and I will say it again. I love you,” he declared. “And I love Isla. No matter what, I will keep you safe. And I will keep you as free as I can.”

“I believe you,” I replied. And I did believe him. I reached up and cupped his jaw in my palm. “I love you too. Whatever may come. For better or for worse, just as we both said, remember?”

He layered his hand over mine and hummed in the affirmative. “…Yes.”

We retired for the evening in the quarters of the ship that night knowing that when we awoke in Qelsum that morning, our lives would be different forever. But we drifted easily into sleep despite it: we all had each other and that was what mattered.

#court of darkness #toa qelsum #shoutout to headmaster lou for being a real helpful dude in this one #also writing a birth scene is weird as fuck i gotta be honest #lmaoooo #left this one a bit of a cliffhanger bc straight up i have no clue what would happen next #i'm scared of his family lol

[nebulawriter]

MCU Countdown Thor

I think the main lesson we can get from this is, if you adopt a child, don’t hide it from them. Just be honest and assure them that you love them. Otherwise they may attempt to murder their birth parents. 

Anyway, Thor is that weird middle child of the MCU. Not great. Not bad. heck, the first one is in the middle of his own trilogy in terms of quality. So. Meh?

Main Character: This movie I think is a good starting off point for Thor’s character as a whole, kinda like the ‘before’ pictures to Avengers ‘After.’ I like him better after, but we gotta get there I guess. Also, he somehow sounds more pretentious when talking to ordinary people than with other asgardians. I think he might just like fucking with people. 

Side Characters: until recently, Loki was undeniably the best villain in the series, but honestly, I wish we got to see MORE of the ‘before’ for him, like, the trickstery-is-jealous-of-but-does-love-his-brother Loki, that’s kind of implied but not...there. oh well. Jane Foster I like as a character, but especially with so much of Thor’s arc resting on him changing ‘for her’ I just...didn’t see that. Like I understood why she’d like him, and maybe why he’d like her, but something so monumental feels a bit forced. Darcy is amazing, I want her back, Professor what’s his name is...kay, sure. I liked the drinking scene. Odin’s a bad father, like, he tries, but. Hmm. 

Other Characters: COUUUUUULLLSSSOOOOOONN!!! yes I will do that every time. And hey, Hawkeye! And that hydra guy, I see you, I know what you did. Sif is amazing and I love her, but the Warriors three entire personalities are, the fat one, the skinny one, and the asian one. So. hm. Laufy’s character was one note too, id have liked more from him.

Plot: I mean, it’s not too complicated, really, except for figuring out where Loki is in his progression and trickery. Which. Again. Could have been clearer, but whatevs. Also, do they ever explain how the bifrost just gets....fixed? Also convenient odinsleep is convenient.

Story: Thor’s sudden change in attitude could have been explained better. What did he really learn from his time on Earth? I mean really. Most of his lesson was learned by “oh no, I accidentally caused my father’s death” which...that’s LOKI’S fault. I wish he’d like...talked out that pain with Jane or something, to gain perspective. then it would have made sense that he loved her, and she’d really changed him. 

Writing/Editing: Chris Hemsworth really comes across as an actor when given comedic lines, so maybe that’s the reason the funny bits are good and the dramatic bits are....eh. Like, when the writing is good, it’s good. And it doesn’t USUALLY go painful unless they’re trying to be overly pretentious with the asgardian dialogue but....eh....?

Cinnamontography: Again, when it’s good, it’s good. Best part I’d say would be Thor fighting through the Shield base, and some of the tricky scenes with Loki. when it’s not....it’s not usually BAD, but....okay maybe this is a design problem.

Design: Jotunheim is so DULL. Like I know it’s an ice planet that’s broken down and that’s kinda the point? But....so dull to look at. The costumes, however, are magnificent, and I really like the,,,,,immolator? the big asgardian robot thing. That’s awesome. Asgard itself looks pretty cool too.

Other: I’m actually So Mad they deleted the scene of Thor replacing the cup he broke and apologizing, I thought that was a big moment for his character, but it’s done so subtly, I...I liked it.

#marvel cinematic universe #marvel #Thor