#and Elrond can solumnly pretend all of Bilbo’s nonsense is of great importance to the wise

[aragornsrockcollection]

I feel like Bilbo would be fully willing to criticize the choices of first age elves to their faces entirely based on how well details of their stories could be put to verse in westron, a language that did not exist at the time.

“Your cloak was trimmed in purple!? No that won’t do at all! Do you even understand how hard it is to rhyme purple? It’s quite inconsiderate to preform song-worthy deeds in purple you know! Humph, I guess we must make do with metaphor, but I shall have to completely reconstruct the meter for this whole stanza so that it scans! Quite inconvenient. What do you mean?! Of course I have to describe the colors you wore, how else shall the listener picture the scene! Now, let’s go for a walk in the garden, and you can point out which blooms are closest in hue to your cloak-trim. What did you eat before the battle by the way?”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T REMEMBER!?!”

Bilbo’s unrepentant willingness to scold fearsome warlords over the poetic potential of their outfits, and unforgivable inability to provide culinary details utterly delights Elrond, who is usually the only person in the room that realizes Bilbo is 100% messing with them.

Elrond gets as close to moping as he ever does when Celebrian insists that he can’t bring Bilbo to his first meeting with his parents in 6000 years, because “Love, the whole point of the exercise is YOU talking to them, not laughing at how confused Bilbo makes them! Bring him next time.”

#bilbo #bilbo baggins #fourth age Valinor #Elrond #elrond peredhel #look elrond’s friendship with Bilbo gives them both so much joy #because Bilbo can pretend he’s oblivious to elvish social niceties #and Elrond can solumnly pretend all of Bilbo’s nonsense is of great importance to the wise #and they play bad manners chicken with completely straight faces #plus they both like obscure lore jokes and are sweethearts #you can pry the joy they give each other from my cold dead hands #tolkien #the silmarillion #jirt #lotr #silmarillion #Turgon has the cloak with the purple trim btw #and REALLY wants to know his great grandson #so he puts up with Bilbo’s bullshit to a higher degree than others #when Idril comes she makes it infinitely worse because she will agree and scold her father #Turgon is confused how Idril has never made an unpoetic decision in her life