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kazashiiii · 4 years

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What’s that ?

part 2

previously on ‘ what’s that ? ‘

“ tell me where is Mark right now ? ” Tzuyu asked

“ i-i dont know , probably working " Sana replied

Tzuyu tired to calm herself down after knowing what Mark did to Sana

it’s currently 12:50AM

“ Sana , cmon lets go to bed ” Tzuyu said while dragging Sana

- time skipped -

Morning 9:45AM

Sana woke up aggressively knowing that Tzuyu wasnt beside her she was worried and she quickly ran down the stairs to check if Tzuyu was there but her presence wasnt there

Tzuyu’s POV

chaeyoung and i are currently at some random cafe , im ranting stuffs to chaeyoung cause i didnt have anyone else to rant to

“ so what happend ? “ chaeyoung asked in concern

“ s-she was raped “ i said while breaking down

“ WHAT ?! " chaeyoung said loudly

“ she was raped , by Mark “ i cried even more

“ W-WHAT ?! MARK ?! “ Chaeyoung was shocked knowing that it was Mark who did that to Sana

Sana’s POV

" should i call her ? ” i mumbled to myself

“ but what if she’s busy with work ? wait it’s saturday tho ”

suddenly my phone rang , i quickly picked it up without checking the caller ID

“ hello ?? Tzuyu-ah~ "

“ Tzuyu ? nahh babe don’t u miss me ? " the person on the other line said

“ w-who are you ?? where is Tzuyu ?? ” i asked in concern

“ shushh bbygirl , how can u forget me ? we did so much that night u even enjoyed it ”

“ m-mark ?! ” i said shockingly

“ thats right babygirl ” Mark said

“ h-how did y- ” Sana was about to finish her sentence when Mark interfered

“ not important babygirl , i miss you . i miss touching you and inse- " before Mark could finish i quickly end the call

“ oh my jissos , how the fuck he have my number ?! ”

No one’s POV

“ Chae , i think i better go off first im scared Sana is worried abt me ” Tzuyu told Chaeyoung

“ you didnt tell her where u were going ? ” Chae asked

“ nah she was sleeping ” Tzuyu answered

“ alrightt2 take care let’s settle Mark tonite i’ll drop by ur place ” Chae said

“ do you know where is Mark’s hangout place ? ” Tzuyu asked

“ hmm probably Canvas Club ” Chae said

Tzuyu then waved Chaeyoung goodbye and drove back to her house

Sana is currently nagging at herself , when Tzuyu appeared at the door Sana quickly run up to Tzuyu and hugged her

Tzuyu hugged back

“ sorry i didn’t inform u where i was ” Tzuyu apologised

“ where did u go ? ” Sana asked curiously

“ meet up with Chaeyoung , she has a problem with Minari ” Tzuyu lied

suddenly Sana’s turned into a worried face as if a mom had lost their kids

“ heyy , what’s wrongg ?? ” Tzuyu asked in concern

“ n-nothingg ” Sana replied

“ are you sure ? cmon tell me what’s wrong “ Tzuyu said while caressing Sana’s back

“ w-well , M-mark called me just now ” Sana said

“ WHAT ?! ” Tzuyu said loudly

“ h-he called me and- ” Sana was cut off by Tzuyu

“ Sana listen to me im gonna kill that asshole alright , im gonna make sure he doesn’t bother you anymore okay " Tzuyu said while caressing Sana’s cheeks

“ T-tzuyu please don’t get yourself in trouble , lets just hand him over to the police ” Sana said

“ shh , let’s eat breakfast i bought u some breakfast ” Tzuyu said

“ komawo~ ” Sana said while clinging onto Tzuyu’s arms

-time skipped -

“ Sana-ah ? ”

“ yess chewyy~ "

“ do you mind going to bed first ? cause Chaeyoung wanna rant to me about Mina ”

“ o-ouhh , right now ? ”

“ yea “

“ but its late tho “

“ she really need someone go rant to right now she got into a big fight with Minari "

“ ahh okay , ill be waiting for you “

“ you should sleep first “

Sana didn’t say anything , before Tzuyu take her leave she kissed Sana’s forehead and walked out the door & entered Chaeyoung’s car

Sana’s POV

“ Minari and Chaeyoung got into a fight ? but they looked like they’re in good terms " Sana thought

meanwhile Tzuyu & Chaeyoung are now heading to Canvas Club to whack that asshole

suddenly Sana’s phone rang

“ h-hello ? ” Sana said

“ Sanake , its me Minari ”

“ phew i thought it was someone else ”

“ i wonder who u were expecting "

“ yahh why did you called me ? ”

“ have you seen Chaeyoung ? ”

“ she’s with Tzuyu "

“ ahh i see , she didn’t told me where she was going tho ”

“ im also not sure , Tzuyu told me that you both had a huge fight ”

“ fight ?? we’re in good terms tho ”

“ huhh ? Tzuyu told me yall had a huhe fight tho “

“ no we didn’t “

“ ohh , ill call u back “

meanwhile , Chae & Tzu have arrived the club Tzuyu was so ready to beat that asshole until Mark noticed them

“ well , well , well look what we got here “ Mark said

“ YOU ! ” Tzuyu said while pointing at Mark

“ yes ? ohh wait u’re Tzuyu right ? and you are ? ” Mark looked towards Chaeyoung

“ none of you business ! ”

“ ohh wow , Tzuyu your girlfriend is Sana am i right ? damn just let go of her i can give her more satisfaction “

“ you raped Sana didn’t you ! ”

“ woah2 i didn’t rape her , she wants it so you know i just gotta go cause why nott “

“ she didn’t wants it you idiot ! ” Tzuyu’s blood boils , her fists was clenching tight

“ tell you what , i really did have a great time with her it was fun and i wish i could do it again ”

“ dont you dare . ”

“ why not ? she likes it too , i bet she’s begging for it more though right now “

“ enough “

Tzuyu then threw a punch on Mark’s cheeks which cause his lips to bleed

“ woah someone is angry , wanna know something i fuck her better then you ! ”

Tzuyu wanted to punch Mark’s cheekbone but eventually Mark managed to block and he hits Tzuyu’s stomach very hard and cause Tzuyu to fall to the ground .

Chaeyoung quickly ran towards Tzuyu wanting to help Tzuyu get up but Mark managed to kick Chaeyoung on the stomach

“ Tzuyu , tzuyu tzuyu . enough just let her go she can have more fun with me i have a dick unlike u ure using ure useless fingers to fuck her “

and with that Tzuyu got really mad and she tooked the wine bottle and hit Mark’s head

but for some reason Mark’s head is made of metal he still managed to punch Tzuyu on the stomach

Tzuyu quickly got up and punched Mark’s face as hard as she could which caused Mark to fell to the ground

Chaeyoung got up slowly and held Tzuyu up walking back towards Chae’s car , they’re going back to Tzuyu’s house

Tzuyu checked her phone and 15 missed calls & 35 texts from ‘ Sana Bibi 💘 ‘

“ shit2 ” Tzuyu said in pain

“ w-whyy ? ” chae asked

“ S-sana ”

-time skipped-

Tzuyu’s house

12:15AM

*cough* Tzuyu coughs due to pain on her stomach

“ T-tzuyu ?! what happend ??! ” Sana asked in concern

“ nothing , why are u sleeping at the couch ? ”

“ i was waiting for you , Tzuyu why are there bruises ?? what happend ?! ”

suddenly Tzuyu faints .

——————————————————————————

omg , i feel like i did a really bad job here so sorry hope y’all enjoy this quick update will probably update when im free .

#sana minatozaki #twice sana #twicenet #imagine #more and more #chou tzuyu #tzuyutwice #twice satzu

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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years

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mtmte liveblog issues 4&5

its delphi time babey

I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo

oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar

anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid

love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist

ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it

i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo

is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo

unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin

i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached

i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much

oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you

ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story

drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,

hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,

PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices

drift epic sword moments

drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him

‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo

ah, so its covid

this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid

so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice

seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool

poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to

that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage

is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be

is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable

first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............

first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes

i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose

tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’

CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND

go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better

seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon

drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao

poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough

also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around

drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword

also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man

ooof now drift has the rona. ouch

poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around

first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup

ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym

im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!

the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute

and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru

yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm

when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man

also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff

ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?

ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening

drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too

i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav

ratchet holding drifts hand ;_;

ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here

all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business

ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier

and there's first aid with the save! iconic

pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf

ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep

s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)

also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory

ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon

drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh

‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E

also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf

godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good!

and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life

also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao

ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies?

fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard

tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch

magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad

love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general

not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form

also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting

poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business

I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely

god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden

also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh

‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic

now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions

the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well

also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything

‘sound bomb’ i love this comic

another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining

‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao

also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny

ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild

‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)

SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY

oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma

so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it

i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude.

and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins!

well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....

#lj rereads mtmte #love me some delphi

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noeulneo · 4 years

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hello wow i’m so very late but très excited to be here with my boi noeul! for a quick rundown he is: 25, atlas, a cop but undercover rn so unless we plot it out, no one should know this fact! he’s actually what you might consider morally upright for the most part (in comparison to probably most of elysium), but boy has an aggressive streak that might change your mind about that. the duality of man. who knows, idk he just has a lot of issues, which you can find below the cut!

but yeah if you’re up for plotting with him and all, please shmash that like button and lets just jump into it 🤪

QUICK CURRENT FACTS

yall know the atlas personality thing? yeah that’s him

in adjectives he is: reserved, resilient, determined, selfless to a fault but also prideful, competitive, unforgiving, anxious, possessive

as mentioned above he does have an aggressive streak, read more on how that developed in his history, which he thought he managed to temper, but now being undercover and in the thick of everything, it's kinda hard to keep down

his undercover task is really just to bring dirt to his superiors, so they can use that info to blackmail or sell or of course give to the powers that be

so he's now usually found around the afterlife and ambrosia, pretending to be but a mere delivery boi

he's so very conflicted and confused internally and morally and everything in between, so he's kinda a hot mess kinda jumpy and defensive

but pls love him thanks xoxo

THE ABRIDGED HISTORY

( tw: child neglect / abandonment, death / implied murder )

like most of elysium, his family was dirt poor when he was born

so his dad, also a cop, turned dirty, accepting bribes and such for the $$$

long story short, his dad hates it, feels gross abt it but what can he do, becomes an angry alcoholic to cope w it, blames noeul for it directly to his face

mind you noeul's a small kid at this point, and he just takes it all quietly and takes care of his dad when he comes home blackout drunk at 3am

meanwhile, his mom just keeps withering away, so he's basically raising himself and his parents

and then some years later somehow his parents popped out another baby on accident?? so yea he got a little sister, and surprise surprise, she's not well cared for at all by their parents

so he ends up essentially being her parental figure, tryin to protect her from all the arguments and bs going on in the house, etc. etc.

eventually, his mom just ups and leaves, and then a few years after that, his dad dies during a "robbery gone wrong"

their aunt moves in with them to take care of them, but she's also pretty shit at being a parent soo noeul basically does everything again, finding odd jobs and etc.

so he didn't properly get to grieve about any of those big life changing events at all, and that all came to a boil a few years down the line

enter: his aggressive streak during his later teen years where he picked fights with ppl he had no right getting in fights with just to get all his anger out and to Feel

got really badly injured one time and when his sister ended up having to take care of him, he reminded himself of his dad and so he vowed to stop and clean up his act

which he did, and ended up getting into the police force, and blah blah, that's essentially where we are now

ETC.

regarding the whole revolution stuff: technically he is working against it right now, considering he is feeding back all his intel to his superiors, which then gets in the hands of the govt and whatever

buuut tbh he hates the state of elysium and what it did to his parents and his ideals really kind of align with the revolution more, so my hope is as he learns more about the cause and stuff, he'll likely turn

that's my original arc idea for him anyway, but at the moment he is just a beat cop just doing the work he's been given

so what i'm sayin is please help break him eheheh

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galimatios · 6 years

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t/a rambles 1

back on my bullshit part 1

... should look into the tactics ogre games for novel inspo bc my novel is also a political drama ... UNINTENTIONALLY actually id call it a coming of age story in rhe new adult genre since mc is probably 23-25 i have so many feelings about the novel ugh i love my ocs so much and i put them all om opposing sides for this novel the most complex relationship i have in it i think is alex and his mother or rather prince kreutzer in this au queen elaine and her son prince kreutzer .. god its so fucked up bc kreutzer loves his mother- he was largely isolated as a child and his mother was always so loving and sweet and they were so so close but the prince never knew of the shit his mother did as queen she is a tyrant she must have lost a child once. a princess, i think probably to the king who she may have ... overthrew or usurped maybe but regardless of that shes in power now and because she lost a child she became overly protective of kreu and consolidated her power heard of a plot to infiltrate her kingdom and assassinate the son of the previous tyrant king (?) and she just fucking ruled with an iron fist because she has so little trust in the goodness of people that she thinks the only way to achieve good is to force it and as a result she kills anyone who steps out of line thus making the people resent her deeply but to kreutzer shes his mother his loving and doting mother who does all she can to protect him the novel actually starts um after the queen is assassinated h a its not her story but shes a big part of it even after her death bc a big portion of the theme is like coming to terms with the complexity of individuals no one is all good or all bad and kreu starts out unable to understand this he has a very black and white view of moralitt like his mother at the beginning on his coronation day theres an assassination attempt made on him but he gets whisked away by the court jester after that a coup is staged and rebels take over the country and the prince is forced to hide with a traveling circus that the jester brings him to where every performer... is a fugitive or criminal! and thats where his personal growth really begins bc he learns abt these people and realizes his world view was wrong people are complex people do bad things... for just reasons and vice versa esp Keith who makes a major appearance in the novel his entire bg story takes place outside the novel as well hahaha but its a lot after a raid on his village, hes orphaned along w his little sister who is ill so to make ends meet / buy medicine he does literally every fucking crime under the sun starting off with petty theft and scaling up to murder literally sacrificing every last shred of innocence he has for the sake of his ailing sister who... dies anyway! and im thinking, tbh, its a fantine/cosette/thenardiers type sitch where this quack doctor is basically scamming him except instead of fantine dying cosette does anyway thats where he fucking hits rock bottom he could handle things as long as he had someone to fight for you know he was alright with it bc his sister was there, his saving grace but when she dies hes all alone thats probably when lydia finds him i imagine he would he on the verge of suicide or at the very least dying of self imposed starvation and neglect but honestly probably suicide julie's death on top of the crushinf weight of all the crimes hes committed the innocence he lost, the lives he took its just way too much and hes just a naive kid lydia finds him and takes him back to the circus takes care of him gives him food and water and shelter and slowly tries to reach him slowly teaching him that there is still life to be lived that he is so young, and it is far too soon for him to lay down and die that he should live for his dead family, because that is what they would want to keep their memory alive in his heart and he begins to come around slowly starts doing chores for the troup then he finally sees one of their performances acrobats and the trapeze and the glitz and the glamor its the first time in years where he ... wasnt thinking about his dead sister or his trauma he asks lydia to teach him how to "do that" he says while pointing at the stage and so she does and ever since then hes taken up performing full time as a .. daredevil type act doing outrageously dangerous things for the thrill of it it excites him, the risk he loves to see how close to the edge of death he can walk without falling and it fuels him makes him enjoy being alive again and he's.. happy god by the time you meet keith in the novel he's just this happy go lucky teen with this smugness about him a kind of dangerousness belying a sweet exterior he's all jokes and laughs at this point and you'd never be able to tell what he went thru at first glance or at all really bc honestly, at this point he honest to god is okay lies and dirt - Last Thursday at 6:00 AM he... doesnt need anyone's pity. he doesn't need anything but the feeling of being alive now and one of the major points of the novel is prince kreu's relationship with him... bc at first they really clash and kreu is just... he's a fucking criminal and all of then deserve to hang keith plays this off w jokes at first but kreu keeps being antagonistic bc he just cant believe a criminal like him is getting away without punishment but then one day keith snaps at him knife to the prince's throat dangerous, cat like eyes, the usual smile on his face no where to be found you're right. i'm a thief. a liar. a criminal. a murderer. i'm all those things. but i'll tell you one thing, prince: i'm not worthless. he pulls the knife away and walks off leaving the prince stunned after this lydia talks to kreu explaining that maybe he shouldn't judge keith so quickly hinting that the circumstances of his life were... not ideal when i first found him, he was already half dead. perhaps not physically, but in the eyes. you could see the reaper in them. hhmgmgn i need to think more abt the circumstances around this scene ah keith must have been looking for a good place to die

the music from the circus reminded him of better days, when he played songs with his family. i imagine him.. outside the tent, somewhere obscured and there's music flowing from its interior... he's tired. he sits down against a barrel and he's been starving, exhausted... letting sleep take him away on the songs from the circus back to a time he used to be happy...

lydia fines him and shakes him but his eyes look glassy and he's unresponsive

he's taken poison must have been something from his former days working as an assassin something he saved for himself just in case and that's when lydia takes him in and nurses him back to health she's a water mage w healing capabilities so she's able to do it and i imagine at first keith is hurt, angry why am i still alive? i im fucking myself up in the feels i hate this THIS ISNT EBEN IN THE FUCKINF BOOK IT ALL HAPPENS BEFORE IT KEITJS NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER HERE BUT IM SO FUCKED UP ugh after kreutzer learns a bit abt keiiths origins he actually thinks a lot. and tries to make amends. apologizes to keith who doesnt say anything much he's sitting, eyes away from the prince, fiddling with the knives he uses for his performances

"a raid took my parents away. illness took away my sister."

"i did a lot of things for money. most of it i'm not proud of. but i would have done anything to save her... you know?"

"you've got someone you love too, don't you?" kreutzer thinks of his mother. the surrogate brother who disappeared on him and never returned "i do." "then, you get it." after this they start to really bond almost as siblings.. which is really funny bc kreutzer doesnt need to be protective of keith keith can MORE THAN take care of himself but its new for kreutzer to feel.. responsibility for someone else like this he was always the one protected before keith laughs at this a lot what're you trying to do? be my big bro? but secretly he ...really likes having family again as idiotic as kreutzer is ofc lydia has always been there for him but as a surrogate mother an older sib is new and.. kind of nice in canon modern au they really are basically bros LOL actually cousins via mothers but alex/kreu goes to live w keiths family after his mom (lain) dies so they essentially grow up like brothers i didn't even get started w the fucking mess that is alan and kreutzer alan goes by calisto also and he hes the court jester but he was trained from a young age as a snake in the kings court he was supposed to kill the prince when the time was right but alan and his dumb fucking gay ass FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM INSTEAD spoiler alert: its unrequited btwn alex and alan is NEVER requited in ALL aus its because alan ... doesnt love himself at all. he has no sense of... purpose or identity alex can never love someone like that but either way he becomes the prince's personal servant and entertainer and this idiot falls for him the naivete he displays, the timid stateliness, the unfitting title of prince bestowed on his shoulders- kreutzer is far too soft to be the leader of this kingdom and alan increasingly has the desire to protect him even as kreu grows older and more skilled in his studies there is always the anxious trepidation they also grow up together from around ages 11-present at the time of the novels start god alan loves him so much it hurts me but its so one sided alex loves cyrus in modern au ): alan could never be more than just a phase tbh poor guy alan and his low self esteem and depression the worst part of this thougg is that because alan feels aimless and without purpose when he falls for kreutzer he ... finally has his OWN cause to fight for and he takes it to the extreme betraying everyone that trusted him to do his job for the sake of a man who wont ever love him it bites him in the ass too bc i kill him off as a catalyst for other stuff h ahahahhahahahahahahaha not just kill him off but horribly because HE FUCKING BETRAYED HIS ENTIRE SIDE THEY ARE, UNDERSTANDABLY, PISSED Alan is so fuckong flawed hes a fuckinf mess and i love it ugh im thinkijg of another scene in the novel once kreutzer gets captured bt the coup rebels he actuallt submits himself voluntarily bc keith gets kidnapped and used as ransom keith tells him hes a fucking idiot keiths life doesnt matter dont fucking come for me! but kreu doesnt listen obviously and they torture kreutzer bc i love suffering and after that they make him listen in a mock trial to the testimonials of all the people hurt by his mother death to the queen! death to elaine of koel! all the horrible stories of lives unjustly cut short because of his mother it breaks him because he loves his mother so much but she's done all these horrible things he doesn't know what to do how to make amends the damage was done and he takes their wrath their scorn and anguish and i'm sorry as if sorry could ever fix anything but it is his burden to carry, his punishment to suffer in place of the queen ironically this makes lilya have a change of heart she was infiltrating the queens court just as alan did and she is directly responsible for her death her assassination, i think or the king's? either way shes part of the rebel forces and she DESPISES the queen good fucking riddance as far as she's concerned that woman made her life hell(edited) so she can rot in it for all lilya cares for but seeing kreutzer there bloodied tortured sobbing broken and taking the punishment doled out to him without so much as a word of protest(edited) she thinks... this... isnt right this is wrong. because kreutzer was not responsible for the sins of his mother as much as people want to blame him, take out their anger on him lilya was at first all gung ho about ending the royal bloodline lies and dirt - Last Thursday at 7:02 AM but she reconsiders this moment feels something tugging at her this isnt right

she remembers her sister back at the circus— lydia. who she always loved dearly but clashed with, leading to her abandoning the circus and joining the rebellion.

retribution is deserved, but should it be served? what then makes us different from our oppressors?

or sth like that so she rescues kreutzer takes him back to the circus. and reunites with her sister after so many years after that ik not entirely sure what to do w the novel LOL bc i know there has to he a big battle bc the rebellion forces begin to quell opposition like how the communist regime in other countries started in ernest bc people felt oppressed but then they went too far and started culling the middle class so then kreutzer leads his own rebellion force against them to take back the country then once he wins he uses his kinghood to dissolve the monarchy and embrace democracy instead asking lydia to lead hes much too tired to lead, and she is much better suited for it but hm inhabe to think more about that entire segment after this he takes over lydias spot in the circus as its owner and organizer and with keith he spends the rest of his days helping people just like keith also they properly mourn alans death it takes forever for kreu to come to terms w his mothers assassination and crimes he probably never truly works it out but he begins to be able to recognize that she is both the tyrant queen and his loving mother that they do not cancel eachother out, that they are not mutually exclusive they are one in the same UGH IM SO UPSET I WISH ID FUCKING WRITE THIS BC I WANT TO FUCKING READ IT the message i wanna convey is like people.. are complex, imperfect, and the systems they create are also subjected to that but everyone does things for a reason. no matter what that reason is and i want lydia to address this too when she becomes the new prime minister of koel a democracy is not perfect, because man is not perfect. there will be hardship, mistakes made along the way. but together we can grow, improve, and learn about one another— and better our society for it. and i believe anywhere injustice goes, justice will always follow(edited) sth like that ig

#the anarchist #notes

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