#and i'm too lazy to write a self para

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] I tried my best to keep my word. Cliodhna got to me, not the others. But Wynne is struggling to keep it together, and so is Nora. They will need you when we get back, and we will get back. [User is growing tired again and decides fuck it, and presses send]

[user stares at this message for a long time. he tries to feel angry -- he thinks he'd feel better if he were angry. he thinks if he could blame elias a little, even if it's not elias's fault, it would feel a little less like the world was ending. anger is familiar. anger is a cup of water in the desert, or a blanket in a snowstorm. anger has been there for him when nothing else was, has been the only constant he's ever been able to count on. he wants to be angry, but he isn't. he feels empty instead. it's so much worse.

there's a long pause between when he gets the message and when he replies to it. he doesn't think it matters. he's talking to a ghost, anyway. elias isn't making it back. neither is regan. neither are nora or wynne. he knows this. he thinks he should have known it from the beginning. he thinks it always ends the same.]

[pm] Nobody needs me. Think we both know that. Not much of a help. Never really have been.

Sorry this happened to you.

#eliaskahtri #elias: needs #private #i don't think this is strictly how [user] brackets are supposed to work but #he won't talk about his feelings #and i need to get them out there #and i'm too lazy to write a self para #so this is what we're left with

[tragedyxbound]

yooo. as always, i'm too lazy to work on a self promo right now plus would just rather focus on finally doing some writing over here !! so like or reblog this if you'd be interested in writing with a sorta horror-themed multimuse blog featuring characters from SPN, RE, TWD, asoiaf & marvel and i'll check out your blog / follow you so we can start interacting. :D p.s. not new to tumblr and have roleplayed most of these characters before btw, preferred writing style is para / multi-para & i will be not writing with minors.

#supernatual rp #spn rp #resident evil rp #the walking dead rp #marvel rp #mcu rp #game of thrones rp #asoiaf rp #fantasy rp #horror rp #indie rp #multimuse rp #dean winchester rp #tony stark rp #leon kennedy rp #carl grimes rp #robb stark rp

[auroraescritora]

2023 Review

Oi, como vai? Eu não ia fazer isso, porque no começo do ano tenho preguiça até de abrir os olhos, mas lá vamos nós.

Pra falar a verdade, @haiseiscute333 me marcou em uma postagem, então resolvi fazer uma retrospectiva também. E só para avisar, vou precisar da sua ajuda, ok? Provavelmente no meio do ano para terminar de revisar a minha história. Eu também queria agradecer por tudo até aqui.

Sinceramente? Sinto que não fiz muito esse ano, mas eu não sei, a cada fim de ano é a mesma sensação, mesmo que eu tenha feito. O tempo passa tão rápido! Enfim, comecei esse blog no fim de 2022, porém, só comecei a escrever nele em junho de 2023. Também recomecei meu projeto de ajuda a escritores e tentei ficar a par do que estava acontecendo no fandom e falhei miseravelmente.

Foi um ano estranho e agradável ao mesmo tempo. Teve um momento que pensei em parar de escrever e que eu de fato tinha esquecido como criar um bom texto. Sempre esqueço que minha ansiedade sempre vai falar mais alto e autocritica mais ainda.

Bem, no total, foi um bom ano. Cheio de altos e baixos, porém com um história longa quase completa. Eu gostaria de agradecer também a algumas pessoas que estiveram comigo desde o início e que não me deixaram falar com as parades sozinha:

@haiseiscute333 @yonemurishiroku @perryjackpott @ch3353cake-29 @language-of-blueberries (Desculpa se eu esqueci de alguém 😁💕💕)

Até logo!

PS: No momento estou revisando a "Não há lugar como o lar" porque fiz besteira. Por enquanto está aqui no Spirit, a versão em inglês vou continuar do ponto onde parei assim que eu conseguir. Vejo vocês provavelmente no fim de janeiro ou no começo de fevereiro.

Hi, how are you? I wasn't going to do this, because at the beginning of the year I'm too lazy to even open my eyes, but here we go.

To tell you the truth, tagged me in a post, so I decided to do a retrospective too. And just to warn you, I'm going to need your help, okay? Probably in the middle of the year to finish revising my story. I also wanted to thank you for everything so far.

Honestly? I feel like I haven't done much this year, but I don't know, every end of the year it's the same feeling, even if I did. Time passes so quickly! Anyway, I started this blog at the end of 2022, but I only started writing on it in June 2023. I also restarted my project to help writers and tried to keep up to date with what was going on in fandom and failed miserably.

It was a strange and enjoyable year at the same time. There was a moment when I thought I'd stop writing and that I'd actually forgotten how to create a good text. I always forget that my anxiety will always speak louder and my self-criticism even more so.

All in all, it was a good year. Full of ups and downs, but with a long story almost complete. I'd also like to thank a few people who have been with me from the start and who didn't let me talk to the walls on my own:

@haiseiscute333 @yonemurishiroku @perryjackpott @ch3353cake-29 @language-of-blueberries (Sorry if I forgot anyone 😁💕💕)

See you later!

PS: I'm currently revising "There's no place like home" because I messed up. For now, the Portuguese version it's here on Spirit, the English version I'll pick up where I left off as soon as I can. I'll see you probably at the end of January or the beginning of February.

[knight-of-the-round-belly]

Hell yeah! Would love to hear about your ocs!

Oh damn, I was dead for a while, and didn't realize there's such a demand. Alright anon, for you, I'll share some. I have way too many to list all of them, but here's the most used ones. I don't think I'll post pictures yet because I'm very selective on where I post art I commission, but maybe later. Posted under read more because of length.

Leona MacAonghis - My first ever vorish OC, and has a special place in my heart. She's a goliath fighter that started as a D&D character but later got used on other things, and I am in the process of trying to write a story featuring her. She's a typical excitable young hero that tries to do good and help everyone, even if her appetite often gets in the way. Her mentor is extremely disapproval of predators so she couldn't develop her natural abilities when studying under him, but he eventually accepts that part of her, and after she strikes off on her own she starts to train her very high vorish potential too. Physically, she's 2.75 meters (9 legs) tall, with fair skin, green eyes and a red ponytail. Her body type is muscular and curvy with healthy amounts of body fat, and like most of my OCs she has sharp teeth because why not.

Seraph - Lazily named seraph oc, the excuse is that her true name is impossible for mortals to comprehend. She's para-causal in nature and her true form can't exist in the material world, but she can interact with the material realm through an avatar body she creates. She has no physical sex, but chooses to present herself and identify as female. Seraph serves a deity that spends most of it's time in solitude, minding it's own business, so most of the work managing it's realm of creation falls onto her and her fellow celestials. After several billion years of service in the highest planes, she eventually got bored, and curiosity drives her to explore the universe, where she learned from the entities and phenomena she encounters. Most of all she gains an appreciation for mortals, and yearns to understand them, and get close to them in any way she can. She ends up also learning a few vices, primarily gluttony, and has gotten addicted to eating. She solves most of her problems with her mouth, and also prefers to learn about new things by ingesting them. Seraph has a tragic and lengthy backstory in one of her iterations, but I'm too lazy to go into it here.

Lurk/"The Knight" - my self-insert persona and the character in the PFP, a large knight in full white plate armour carrying a greatsword. Mostly exists to be eaten by women I find attractive, including my own or my friends' ocs, but occasionally I do serious stuff with him. Has no concrete backstory.

Betty - former enforcer bot that grew a personality, rebelled, and transed her gender. Now mostly serves herself, but will occasionally still protect her city from threats to fund her illegal body modifications. Purposely replaced her normal batteries with a matter assimilation reactor that acts as a digestive system, and feeds primarily on humans and their property. Because I'm a degenerate and also she exists in a superhero setting, she will sometimes eat a giant monster however, and can temporarily grow larger to fight them because I like mecha stuff.

I have a lot more, but I got lazy. I'll share about them later, this post is already very long overdue.

#Lurk's OCs #Lurk rambles #Idk if I should tag anon because it's a pretty common tag #And since these are mostly vorish I don't want the post to breach containment #Vore mention

[hwanduu]

she’s beautiful, let her flow.

tw: abuse, bullying, suicidal thoughts.

strong. a word that ryujin have grown to dislike eversince she enters her 20s. that word has been repeated her too many times and yet, she wonders if she really is? everytime someone directs it to her she couldn’t help but to grimace as a natural response. “what strong? me? am i supposed to be strong after all that?,” she thought instantly. it almost feels like they were pulling her down instead of lifting her up. is this what happens when you’re used to having to constantly be strong when you’re put in a situation where you don’t want to? she wish that she would understand what they truly meant by that instead.

growing up, ryujin has been constantly put in a place where she has to depend on herself. series of things in her life made her feel unsafe just to be offered help from others and that also includes by having to be strong for herself. that was the only way she knew how to survive - holding herself piece by piece with shaky hands even when she’s at her lowest. due to this, she grew unafraid of death as she had been through too many situations where she almost did. was it her family? friends? that made her doubt living. or what if it’s herself that was the main culprit?

abuse has become too much of a normal norm for her as she grows older. it started with her parents when they made her feel like she’s never going to be enough. her source of what it should’ve been protection and safety ends up betraying her and instead gifted her with the fear of abandonment at the age of 6. just when ryujin thought her life would be better, the timid and quiet kid found herself in a room in the elite art highschool located in seoul with 5 people pushing her into the corner - asking her for lunch money or would make her do errands for them. it started of small and “innocent“ - you know, what are kids capable of doing? - that is until several assault later, she was found on the floor bleeding and almost falling for her death. during her final year of high school, she found herself gasping for air and almost choking in whatever that she can still breathe in, if she still can after bleeding so much through her nose and mouth. “지랄.. 이엿같은 인생..“ was all that she said in her head as teenage ryujin counted her remaining breathes, thinking that perhaps this is how she would go.

naive.

timid.

useless.

..and never enough. 

but she survived. what type of bullshit that the universe wants to keep on making her live? ryujin desperately would like to know. especially when she experienced her next set of abuse. in the name of love right? they loved her even when she was constantly being manipulated and gaslighted. they loved her even when they would grasps on her wrist so tightly that it would bruise just because she said she wanted to spend her time with her friends instead of them. they said they loved her even when she was yelled and pushed on the pavement when she tried to break it off. yea, definitely in the name of love. again,“...지랄. 이엿같은 인생,” was the word that came up from her lips as she decided that this is the final abuse that she could take. 

so what exactly is she strong for? the fact that she continued to live? or was it the fact that she tolerated that much? she would like to desperately know. in her head, she wanted to be weak. she wanted a space where she can freely talk her pain without people dismissing it only because she got over it and is strong now. but all she got was her own hands, her own arms that is able to give her a hug when she needed the most since now she can’t even ask for simple tasks even when she craves for it so badly.

she wants to cry. 

and cry as much as she can until she no longer feel sorrow for what had happened to her. only at the age of 21, ryujin finally feel like she’s allowed to cry and be sad. she’s allowed to feel angry, she’s allowed to feel pain properly even after years of what had happened to her and others had moved on. she tried to live and not define herself after what she goes through - sometimes even dislike bringing her trauma into light which is different from her younger self who would often overshare and making jokes about it because she wanted the attention. she wanted help.

now staring deeply at herself and observing her features in the mirror, ryujin thinks that she’s okay now. she likes how she looks, she likes how she feels and she loves how her thought process flows. her face doesn’t change that much over the years but she likes who she is now.

one puff, deep breathe in.

the therapy does work.. 

deep breathe out. 

two puff - deep breathe in, deep breathe out. 

i am.. okay now. i am safe. love is not pain. people who loves me does not intend to hurt me. i won’t die. i will not die for them. but i will love. i will love them just as much.

maybe it makes sense now. the word strong when people say it to her - they probably meant just as that and not expecting her to be strong always but instead strong in a way that “we see you, we appreciate what you did as you go through that and we are proud of you.”

she understands it now. she is strong.

#류:self para. #( wow the way this is so long lmaooo this is too overdue and i'm finally getting some idea how to write it after her realization today #anyways i did double check but i'm too lazy to keep on making adjustments #more self para hopefully now that i'm in the zone to write more

[joohwanfmd]

self para 001 

location: our songs recording studio  date: november 7, 2020 notes: mentions of other competitors

the thing about hwan’s past rankings was that his expectations when it came to his position in the show were very, very low. he realized there was no way in hell he would actually be able to rely on his popularity alone to send him to the finals and make him win – which honestly, was not even a goal of his in the first place – so he had been truly compelled to put in as much effort as he could, taking into consideration how busy he already was. but there were no actual expectations since people had already shown to not be all that much interested in what he had to offer.

but then.

joohwan wasn’t expecting his name to be called. not when taeyong’s was, not when jaewon’s was. he was fully certain that it’d be one of the other three and he’d once more be fighting to see if he was going to be eliminated or not. any confidence – or arrogance – he could muster had been tossed aside a long time ago.

yet he is called. it is announced that the song he composed and wrote for someone else, from a perspective that he could not actually relate to even remotely, was chosen as the number one of the week. he won the online vote – allowed himself a moment to think about the several origin fans who had probably been behind that – and was comfortably making into the finals when he hadn’t even expected to make it as far as he had.

the man couldn’t contain his excitement. he had felt more nervous waiting for this result than ever in his entire career. it didn’t matter that origin had been given several awards, their list of daesangs ever growing. the recognition origin got was for far much more than joohwan himself – and he would even dare saying that he didn’t even contribute to that as much as others did – whereas something like this show was sheer recognition for the work he had done mostly by himself.

he didn’t remember much of the moment his name was announced, mostly that he bowed to the audience and had a massive smile on his face. making his way backstage, joohwan immediately threw his arms around his manager, picking the shorter man up and spinning him around in glee. he hadn’t even won the show and yet he couldn’t help the wave of satisfaction that ran through his body, the minimal feeling of accomplishment.

#* ♔—— self para ／ i’d rather keep the bullet. #fmdos4 #wc: 412 #it's obviously not the first self para i write on hwan but fndsufds #i'm too lazy to go check in what number i stopped in the other account #sighs

[godlyborn]

keaton arkwright + travelling

#i'm too lazy to write self paras lmaoo #prophsedit #m:keaton #musings #keaton