#and like pandemic regulations ASIDE!! WHICH STATE I CANNOT GO TO ANOTHER HOUSEHOLD!!

[sunflowervolvimp3]

if anyone would like a good starbucks holiday drink hack: chai tea latte with no water and sub eggnog is so delicious and it tastes like christmas in a cup

#but pls do not reblog this because it’s ACTUALLY A VENT POST I JUST FELT WEIRD DOING THE LIL DOT AND NOTHING ELSE SO FEEL FREE TO IGNORE!!!! #anyways today has been A Day on top of A Week honestly like #i have so much fucking university shit to do like i have two essays due this week i haven’t started #i have to memorize two german pieces for my lesson on thursday #and to top it all off!! i got a phone call from my father :)) #and i didn’t answer his call yesterday and i felt guilty because i hadn’t seen him in over a month because i was sick and busy #and so i answered and he asked me to come over tonight #did not even ask if i was feeling better!!! if i was still sick!! despite the fact that i got tested for covid because of my symptoms! #he just asked me to come over tonight and i said no because. essays!! #and he asked me to come over tomorrow and i said no again and i probably can’t for the next two weeks #and i thought it was because he wanted to see me but turns out :) he just fucked up something on his wife’s citizenship application :) #and needs me help figuring it out :) #and like pandemic regulations ASIDE!! WHICH STATE I CANNOT GO TO ANOTHER HOUSEHOLD!! #I HAVE FOUR ESSAYS DUE WITHIN A ONE WEEK PERIOD AND FINALS #so i said. i cannot come over for like three weeks because of school. #and then he just huffed and said ‘alright’ and then hung up a few seconds later #the entire phone call was literally 1:09 LIKE!!!!! #I AM SO!!!! DONE!!!!!!! #SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! #LIKE IGNORE THE FACT THAT U PUT SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME TO BE ‘THE GOOD ONE’ AND CONSTANTLY COMPARE ME TO MY BROTHER #HE SAYS HES HAPPY IM GETTING A DEGREE BUT DOESNT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THE AMOUNT OF WORK I PUT INTO IT #AND WHY I CANT DROP EVERYTHING TO SEE HIM WHEN IT WORKS FOR HIM #AND FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN SO TERRIFIED OF HIM KNOWING I LIKE GIRLS!!!!! #BECAUSE HE HAS STRAIGHT UP TOLD ME HE DOESNT BELIEVE IN BEING GAY!!!! #AND THAT IF MY BROTHER WAS GAY HE WOULDNT BE HIS SON ANYMORE!!!! #AND IVE BEEN SO SCARED OF BEING DISOWNED THAT IVE SAID NOTHING #and now. that the possibility of me dating a girl is here. i have been terrified to have that conversation with him #and have thought out all the ways i can avoid it #BUT LIKE!!!! WHY THOUGH!!!! BECAUSE WHATS GONNA HAPPEN!!!! #LIKE ALL IM LOSING IS HIS FINANCIAL SUPPORT AND I CAN FUCKING GO WITHOUT THAT IF HE DECIDED TO CHOOSE HIS SHITTY VIEW OVER HIS ONLY DAUGHTER