#and of all songs they get it with LUNA. because we're all meant to be :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mar3ggiata · 1 month

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professional help, c4. The waltz of the Snowflakes.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Harden my heart, Quarterflash.

abstract: he can get fucked, and his captain too. it's Jude if you haven't noticed. I have nothing more to add really, he's an ass and I'm not getting paid enough to deal with this shit, see ya. also, forgive me for the swearing it's a real problem I know!!

Well. That didn't exactly go to plan. Simon Whatever, what the fuck is your problem? She called a friend while driving home. 'Salvo, io gli volevo mettere le mani addosso, stu scemu…’ She was going over the speed limit, holding her phone with one hand. ‘Una merda Salvo, mi hanno mandato via come una cretina, son andata, ho parlato, mi ha detto non si puoi fare guagliù, chi cazz si pe me dicr chell c’agg fa oh!’

Now, to all my readers, I will translate. Jude speaks dialect when she's mad, bare with her. Her voice usually drooped an octave when she spoke it to accommodate the guttural and rough sounds of her language. Swear words that would make your racist grandad cry. She was calling Salvatore, she met him in 2021, he was currently deployed in South Korea. She told him she wanted to hit him, she said, they sent me away without hearing me out, they said what you're suggesting can't be done. 'Scusa, cosa hai proposto tu?' She loved Salvo, he was so understanding, he could read her mind. It was refreshing, when she found out he was from the same country as her. Speaking a bit of Italian with him was a break from all the English, the accents and the words she didn't know how to pronounce. 'Cosa ho detto, ho proposto che lo seguissero, anche grazie al cazzo vorrei dire… ( I refuse to translate all the swearing, Jude.) Questi vogliono aspettare e non fare nulla, però mi fanno perdere tempo con ste cazz'e riunioni!' (This means, 'I told them to follow him, obviously. They don't want to do anything, they want to wait and see, and yet they make me go out of my way for these fucking meetings.')

Salvo tried to reassure her that it wasn't really her problem, to which she replied, Arash was her patient. He asked her about the captain, she commented he stood there, watched her argue with his guard dog Lieutenant without saying a word. Coward, she called him. Who's the Lieutenant, he then asked. She told him, maybe she messed up the name a bit, but he seemed to recognise him. 'No, veramente?' He asked. 'Il Fantasma'. That made sense, you know, the mask an all. He told her he was quite famous for his mask and his story, which he didn't fully know. Lots of trauma I think, you could work with him. She parked her car in front of the dance school and got her bag. 'Non me ne fott, possono fare quello che vogliono, non sono io che ci rimetto. Lui nu strunz, fammi dire…' She explained she didn't care anymore and that they could do whatever they wanted. He was a dick, that's what she added, probably referring to the famous Lieutenant.

The girls could sense she wasn't having the best day and didn't want to mess with her. They stood quiet and avoided their usual chatting. They did warm up, barre and some center, she sent them off early. 'Miss Alba, we're gonna start rehearsals soon? For the Nutcracker.' It was Luna that spoke. She almost forgot. 'Yes girls next time.' Shit.

The Waltz of the Snowflakes. That's what she was gonna have to teach them. The owner of the school was crazy, the piece was way too difficult for her class. She didn't have time or strength to explain the piece was not meant for girls that young, she would have to simplify it. She put on a video on her laptop, trying to remember the best she could the original piece. She stripped of her leg warmers and her black shrug. Her mind kept wandering off the meeting with Price, not letting her concentrate. She was mad. Not because she didn’t get her way, they were the ones dying in the Middle East, not her. But because it was fucking humiliating. As a woman as well, you know. Maybe she made a mistake, going in there looking all pretty. But again, why would she sacrifice herself just to earn some basic respect? After she failed her pirouettes for the third time, she decided it was time to go home. She would talk to Arash and, if needed, follow him on her own.

notes: Since this is a shorter chapter (I've been incredibly busy with uni and work), here are some details about Jude:

height: 5’2’’ - eye colour: green - hair colour: blonde

traits: mole on her cheek, slightly crooked nose. mole on her right butt cheek, scar on her knee. at least 30 smaller moles all over her body. small boobie queen.

if she was a colour: dark blue

if she was an animal: killer whale

if she was a place: a forest

if she was a food: spicy pho - motto: for the plot

favourite position in bed: on top/doggy

favourite part of her body: eyebrows, hips

what she looks for in boys: loyalty, someone stable, good manners, honesty.

tattoos: big flower on her back, her grandmas house on ribcage with ivy on it, lavander flower between breasts, dagger on right arm, wine glass and whisky sour ingredients. nike (goddess of victory) statue on left arm, goth looking stars and white ferrari doodle. oui, non written on both knees. heaven written on ankle made with stick and poke needle.

loves to talk about: time, space, her dog, humanity, world wars, greek mythology, vegan recipes, life after death.

do not talk about: her family, weight, fire, not being the best in school and at work.

she would like to: try hotpot, paint pottery, start a podcast, go on more hikes, visit thailand, get another dog, attend a wedding.

she will never: have kids, get married, go to australia, go skiing again after she fell, have plastic surgery, drink beer.

if you’d like to know more stuff about her let me know!!

notes: Salvatore, Salvo for short, is a common southern Italy male name. Salvatore means 'the saviour', Salvo means 'safe'. Full translation of the speech: 'Salvo, I wanted to hit him, this fucker. It went to shit Salvo, they sent me away like I was stupid, I went there I told them what I thought, he said we can't do that, who the hell are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?' 'Sorry, what did you say to them?' 'I told them to follow him, obviously. They don't want to do anything, they want to wait and see, and yet they make me go out of my way for these fucking meetings.'

'No, veramente? Il Fantasma' means 'no, seriously? The Ghost.'

notes: if you want to hear what the dialect sounds like you can hear it in the tv series 'Gomorra' on YouTube.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

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kitkatopinions · 10 months

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I got into this argument recently over the whole “V9 is pro-suicide” thing (it is) and, despite the fact this other person agreed that Ascension is an allegory for suicide, they kept on saying that when I looked at the story through that lens I was “taking it too literally because it’s a fairy tale”

Like… what’s the point in even reading a story if you’re NOT supposed to buy into what they’re trying to say with said story? Am I supposed to ignore all of the characters and the literal world of the story saying that “Ascension is actually a good thing that people should go through” and how Ascension throughout the entire volume is framed as death?

Or how, before Ruby ascends in the first place, she literally says “I don’t want to be me anymore” after being brutalized and then drinks a substance she believes will actively kill herself?

I was told over and over again that “because Ruby chose herself it’s anti-suicide,” but the entire reason she gets to CHOOSE IN THE FIRST PLACE is because she killed herself? The entire thing is a glorified way of saying “if you like yourself, you’ll become a better person for it because you’ll magically realize that you’re perfect the way you are” when that’s literally not true and not how it works?

I’m sorry this is going on for so long. I just wanted to see a different perspective. V9 has consistently fucked me up as a survivor of suicide and I just don’t understand how people can vehemently say that there’s nothing equating to suicide or pro-suicide messaging in this story when they literally admit constantly that suicide is present in the narrative.

I am really upset about whoever this other person is admitting that Ascension is an allegory for suicide but taking the stance of 'but we're not supposed to think about it because this is like a fairy tale.' Does that person not understand fairy tales? Most of them have lessons baked into them. Does that person not understand how media works? Most media has something under the surface, some sort of meaning or intended takeaway or even accidental biases on the part of the writers baked into them. You can watch even the most stupid just there for pure entertainment piece of media - You can watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2007 and still come out of it understanding that in-between the CGI Chipmunks singing songs and the bad charmless acting of the guy who played Dave (my sis and I believe that role should've instead been played by Brendan Fraser,) you're supposed to get the take-away that kids should be allowed to be treated like kids and not used just for money-making and that found family is valuable and should be embraced and not pushed away out of fear of commitment. RWBY should tell us something, it should have messages and takeaways, especially because the very start of rwby presents us with the conflicting beliefs of Salem and Ozpin - Salem insisting that mankind's passion and strength will always wane and darkness will take over, with Ozpin countering that mankind's victory will be found in 'the simpler things she's long forgotten, things that require a smaller, more honest soul' while we see Ruby. The entire thing is full of (admittedly contradictory) morals and take-aways and meanings. Some of them are bad, some of them reflect the biases of the writers, or the bigotry that Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross never deconstructed. It's not just there to be pretty lights, and it's actually imo wildly irresponsible for people to not try to analyze rwby.

"Yeah, Ascension is like suicide, but we're not meant to think about it" that person can fuck off. The trend of 'media isn't meant to be critically consumed or analyzed, it's just there for us to like and have fun' is the worst and it's destroying thoughtful media. I swear to God if the Lord of the Rings movies came out today people would be like "yeah I guess it's probably informed by Tolkien's time in war or whatever, but we're not supposed to think about it or take it seriously, it's just a make-believe story."

(I will be talking about Ruby's attempted suicide down below, please be advised and don't read if that sort of thing might be triggering to you.)

Also, on the note of "because Ruby chose herself in the end, it's anti-suicide' that really is just... Wildly wrong. Ruby chose to commit suicide. She thought that drinking the tea was going to essentially remove her from existence, erase all her memories, transform her body into something else, that she would not be 'Ruby Rose' at all and would instead be replaced by someone better. That is her hating herself, that is her wanting to die. Just because she thought something else would take her place doesn't mean she herself wasn't trying to commit suicide. Basically what the rwby writers wrote was the equivalent of a story where a girl pops pills in an attempt to kill herself, but is clinging to life, and while she's lying on her deathbed, her consciousness meets God and they give her the choice to either die or wake up, and she decides to wake up. Although this in and of itself would be incredibly dicey (irl people don't get to decide POST-ATTEMPT whether they really want to go through with it while getting the option to see their long dead mom and get assurance of her affection before they choose, and acting like that's the case is damaging especially to teens and kids,) the rwby writers make it worse! They make it worse by showing Ruby's closest friends including her older sister essentially sit around her bedside having smiling happy chats with each other and assuring each other that they'll be happy for Ruby if she DOES choose to die and that it's her choice and that it could be a good thing.

This is so damaging. And it's so damaging to show Ruby just coming out of it unscathed, smiling, having her role as a leader back and accepting it with happiness, having her struggles just waved away as if they hadn't happened. It's an allegory for a suicide where Ruby gets an 'are you sure about this' menu screen that people irl don't ever get, gets to see her mom and hear her mom say she loves her which people irl don't get, gets to talk to God and be told 'encouraging things' which is something people irl don't get, and gets to come out of it seemingly better than ever with no consequences which is something people irl don't get, and her friends and family don't have to grapple with what happened because they can just dismiss it as 'Ruby choosing to go to therapy' essentially somehow, and then the whole thing is just left in the past - while NEO COMMITS SUICIDE TOO AND IT'S TREATED LIKE A GOOD THING DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE SHE'LL 'CHOOSE HERSELF.' Which just makes the allegory three hundred times more damaging if you ask me.

On top of how bad that is, we have the Paper Pleasers, we have an example of people that didn't come back as themselves, but as entirely new people. They killed themselves, and didn't 'chose themselves,' instead destroying their bodies and their memories, essentially wiping themselves from existence, and it was framed as an exclusively good thing that Jaune needed to recognize was just a part of letting people make their own choices - framed alongside not only the fact that Ruby herself had yet to choose to come back as herself but also the fact that Penny just chose to die in the last season after begging for death over and over and getting Jaune himself to help her commit suicide... That lesson is so much worse. The paper pleasers killing themselves was presented in the narrative of RWBY as a positive, good thing despite the fact that they did not come back as themselves. If what happened to Ruby is the equivalent of someone popping pills and miraculously surviving by meeting God and getting the choice to return, the Paper Pleasers are the equivalent to an entire village of people willingly drinking poison in an attempt to meet God because they believe they'll ascend and shed their mortal forms so they can no longer be damaged and may carry on their assigned duty and reason for living as perfect creatures, and... Where have I heard that before? And the rwby writers present it as a good thing they were right about! The rwby writers present suicide as not only a sometimes good choice that helps you grow, but a needed choice that you're worse off for not taking - and coupled with Penny, it's horrible.

People have this idea that because Ruby, Neo, and the Paper Pleasers believed that something would continue on living from the remnants of who they once were, it's not suicide, but... That's very much so the way I thought about suicide growing up as an evangelical Christian. When I struggled with thoughts of suicide in my early teen years, that’s how I thought of it, and realizing that my friends and family WOULD care and WOULDN'T be able to accept it and WOULDN'T think of it as a good thing was one of the things that helped me start to get better. If I had seen RWBY in those days, seeing volume nine and seeing them praise the suicide of the people pleasers while smilingly deciding they'd be happy if Ruby destroyed herself would've fucked me up, and as it is right now, it was still triggering and upsetting to me.

I'm so sorry that this season was hard for you as a survivor of suicide, and that people are being so willfully stubborn in their refusal to see how damaging it was. What the rwby writers may have been intending to make - a story about a suicidal girl realizing she is enough - is not what they actually put into their show. Instead, accidentally or otherwise, they glorified suicide in incredibly damaging ways, and the fans need to recognize that. They need to stop with their 'tree therapy' jokes and their 'drink the tea' cracks, and just accept that the writers got it wrong. Saying 'it's just a fairy tale so why would I think about it' is a ridiculously stupid cop-out. Like, if people aren't even thinking through anything in RWBY, then why are they even watching it? If people aren't engaging with it, aren't getting anything out of it, won't even try to think about the themes and morals and what's being communicated, then why watch it in the first place?

#rwde #tw; suicide mention #tw; suicide #trigger warning; suicide mention

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voxiiferous · 1 month

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🎶 (for Vox and Maria) and 🎶 (for Hellaina, Dia and Maria :3) I know it's the wrong blog for the second one but stiiiill

@do-these-eyes-look-human | No worries it works! Unintentionally angsty because that's what 90% of my music is!

Vox & Maria

Happiness Is A Warm Gun - Across the Universe

She's not a girl who misses much She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand like a lizard on a window pane The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors on his hobnail boots Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime A soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the National Trust

Turning Out - AJR

Am I ready for love? Or maybe just a best friend Should there be a difference? Do you have instructions? Maybe I'm stuck on what I see on TV

April to Death - Flower Face

And he's smoking out the window every morning While I get high in the bathroom We're always on the upswing, baby Phosphines in our starry eyes today April to our deathbed We're always on the upswing, baby He's got a new girl, and I'm sure that she's alright But he still calls me late at night Never meant to leave him here like this

Devil Town - Cavetown

Devil Town is colder in the summertime I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night I still get a little scared of something new But I feel a little safer when I'm with you Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too

I Come With Knives - IAMX

The paradox of our minds Too much to believe, too much to deny You fool me again to quiet my pride But I’m a human, I come with knives I never promised you an open heart or charity I never wanted to abuse your imagination I come with knives, I come with knives And agony to love you

For Comedy Reasons: Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

Live and let live, you'll be the showgirl of the home team I'll be the narrator telling another tale of the American dream I see your name in lights, we can make you a star Girl, we'll take the world by storm, it isn't that hard 'Cause I got your picture, I'm coming with you, Dear Maria, count me in

Maria/Hellaina/Dia

May I Have This Dance - Reinaeiry | How much of this is them to each other and how much of it is them to some unfortunate victim? Uhh... yes?

Hey, what's a pretty thing like you doing here? Don't you know it's dangerous To be out so late at night? Be careful Before the night is done You might end up on someone's plate So you best be running Because I like the chase

Horizon - Luna Blake

I can tell by the way you carry yourself You've got a perfect comprehension Of a whole other dimension in your head Take me there Show me the very beginning, the first few cells The minute the world as we know it Is coming to an end You tower over me You are sky and I am sea

I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry (rock remix)

I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry Chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

Sinners - Lauren Aquilina

But they're the ones that we'll look down upon The rules say our emotions don't comply But we'll defy the rules until we die So let's be sinners to be saints And let's be winners by mistake The world may disapprove But my world is only you And if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me

And because Dia refuses to let me do this without at least something sort of cannibal-y and morbid! The Red Means I Love You - Madds Buckley

'Cause my insides are red, and yours are too And the red on my face is matching you And goodness, you're bleeding, what a wonderful feeling You're down, and you're pleading, my head is just reeling The red means I love you Tasting your blood means I love you

Bonus Song for All Four

Human - Of Monsters and Men | Extra points if you can guess which muses correspond (most heavily) to which line!

Cage me like an animal A crown with gems and gold Eat me like a cannibal Chase the neon throne

#do these eyes look human #*soundtrack (music)

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amphiptere-art · 10 months

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@madcatdaderpydrawer-blog I have an animation idea. Not that I'm very good at animation but I can't stop imagining this whenever I hear this section of this song.

youtube

- lunar first online. Happy alongside Eclipse.

I was your baby. Your first born

- Lunar with moon in back ground.

The hot girl in your comp sci class

- Lunar getting suspicious of eclipse. Moon whispering lies.

And I was Darwin's prep school dream

- lunar helps defeat Eclipse

Bred born and raised to kick your ass

- Lunar living a happy life with Sun Moon and Monty. Center stage was happy face.

I fell for circuit boards. Rocket ships. Pictures of the stars

- Moon traps lunar

If you could only be what you pretend you are

- lunar reaching out for Moon.

When I said take me to the moon. I never meant take me alone

- lunar drowning in lava.

I thought if mankind toured the sky. It meant all of us could go

- lunar latches on to Monty's hand. Close up of him crying.

But I don't want to see the stars if they're just. One more piece of land for you to colonize.

-Monty smacks lunar. Downloading him.

For us to turn to sand

- Monty sun and Moon popping up with evil faces.

Because we're so fucking mean. We're so elitist. We're as fucked as any church

- lunar going through a bunch of bad shit.

And this bullshit west coast dogma. Has a higher fucking net worth

- Lunar going into the bedroom and spotting the star.

I bit the apple 'cuz I loved you

- lunar lifting up the star.

And why would you lie

- Luna gets angry sad with star in hand.

And then I realized. You're just as naive as I am

- either Moon or Monty flashback saying this.

You're so traumatized it makes me wanna cry

- lunar yells at Moon Monty and sun. Zoom out to room.

You dumb bitch

- Lunar says these while flashbacks of good times. Degrading into what actually happened.

I loved you. I loved you. I loved you it's true

- says this as Traveler realizing that there are horrible.

I wanted to be you. And do what you do

- lunar looks at Sun Moon and Monty while cry screaming.

I lived here. I loved here. I bought it it's true

- Lunar says the first two lines and then activates the star. Causing everything to be sucked in like a black hole. Monty Sun and moon either running towards him or running away.

I'm so embarrassed. I feel abused. I feel so used. I feel so used

- asks the star this before thrusting it into his chest.

Take me to the moon

- wakes up in a black void of a reset world. Looking around before starting to cry uncontrollably with the sob in song.

Because I feel so used. I feel so used

#I'm definitely not good at animating #so this would be a lot of still pictures #But I just feel like this would fit.#trapped forever au #tsams au #sams au #sams #tsams #Youtube

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seohoho · 2 years

Photo

#ONEUS1stWin #LUNA1stWin we've seen you work so hard over three years. you wanted this win so badly and you deserved it so much! tomoons are so proud of you, always. here’s to many more wins in the future! ♡

#Oneus #LUNA #foroneus #tw flashing #GUYS. :*)))))) WE DID IT.#it took so long but we did it!!#i'm so so happy for them. they wanted this so badly.#they've had ELEVEN (11) noms before this i can't believe it.#and of all songs they get it with LUNA. because we're all meant to be :')#i'm really just full of love for them.#talented funny kind. they deserve this and more.#congratulations tomoons!! we did well. :)#moon.gifs

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prettyiwa · 3 years

Text

I do not authorize the translation or reposting of my work anywhere. Do not mention my work on Tik-Tok.

over the course of 24 hours (AO3)

Iwaizumi Hajime x F!Reader | Vignettes 24/24 (Complete) | 10,000 words It takes you 24 hours to fall in love and he's certain that he can wait until you do. like a moonbeam | three choices

Greek Mythos Collection

To Rival Aphrodite (AO3)

Akaashi Keiji x GN!Reader | Metamorphoses!AU | 🎵 Through Ink & Quill Collab | 1,425 words | SFW Eros & Psyche

.Maker of Myths (AO3)

Oikawa Tōru x F!Reader | Iliad!AU | 🎵 I, II, III, IV, V | Through Ink & Quill Collab | 4,805 words Paris & Helen

This Tree, This Bed (AO3)

Kuroo Tetsurō x F!Reader | Iliad!AU, Odyssey!AU | 🎵 I, II, III | Mythology Collab | — words Odysseus & Penelope

Second Chances

never stopped (AO3)

Semi Eita x F!Reader 2,390 words | SFW Throughout your relationship with Eita, there was only one song he never shared with you completely. He used to hum its melody while he worked, though its lyrics remained a mystery to you throughout your relationship. No one expected the first time you'd hear them would be during a show following a surprise reunion years after your separation.

Still Stuck On You (AO3)

Iwaizumi Hajime x F!Reader | 🎵 8,675 words What had been carefully buried during the drought is being uncovered by the return of rain, leaving you to decide between retreating to the safety of shelter and allowing yourself to be washed away by the storm.

Monster-verse

Always You

Iwaizumi Hajime x GN!Reader 1,100 words | SFW The two of you have loved each other for far longer than he can comprehend, always doomed to watch the other die, to be reborn and do it again.

Tear Into Your Soul (AO3)

Oikawa Tooru x F!Reader Wheel of Misfortune Collab | 3,045 words | Dark Content Pretty little Oikawa Toru never suspected he would be part of a larger scheme.

Hellfire-verse

Temptation (AO3)

Iwaizumi Hajime x F!Reader | 🎵 1/5 (Ongoing) | Hellfire Collab | 2,310 words Iwaizumi's never really understood why everyone seems to like you, especially when you get on his nerves all the damn time. It's disappointing to find that nothing's really changed upon his return from California.

Wicked One (AO3)

Kuroo Tetsurou x F!Reader | 🎵 1/3 (Ongoing) | Hellfire Collab | 3,070 words Kuroo couldn't believe his eyes when he arrived for an interview only to be met with his college crush, and he couldn't believe his luck when you agreed to go to the opening of a club with him.

Cruel World-verse

In This Together (AO3)

Matsukawa Issei x F!Reader | 🎵 1/3 | 4,075 words | Dark Content Guess we're in this together Makes my head hurt

Miscellaneous

You Bury Me (AO3)

Iwaizumi Hajime x F!Reader | 🎵 But My Feelings Collab | 5,000 words | SFW (HEAVY ANGST) ya'aburnee | يقبرني trans. "You bury me"; the hope that a person or loved one will outlive you because of how unbearable life would be without them.

It Starts Slow (AO3)

Iwaizumi Hajime x GN!Reader 2,175 words | SFW You and Iwaizumi always seemed to be present in the other's lives, almost like parallel lines never meant to touch, until, one day, you do.

Drabbles

ama por la luna | Hanamaki Takahiro x F!Reader | SFW

木漏れ日 | Komorebi | Akaashi Keiji x GN!Reader | SFW

Other

How does Akaashi love?

How does Matsukawa confess?

Love Triangle with Matsuhana

Navigation | Last Updated: 29 Sept 2023

#haikyuu!! masterlist #🗝.masterlist #✒.ix writes #🏐.haikyuu!!#organized by shared universe #hq.✒

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uhhhhhhhhhh-bear · 5 years

Text

Everything

a letter to someone i'll never be able to talk to again

(i don't usually post, and i didn't think one of my first actual posts on this website would be something like this, but i just needed to get this off my chest)

((also, i've never met this person in real life. i wish i could have been able to, but some things just aren't meant to be, haha))

the stars remind me of you. you were so passionate about what you loved, be it photography or your cats or even (/especially) star wars. you taught me so much about these things, and i'd call you a nerd but i loved when you would get so lost in explaining things to me that you'd end up sending huge walls of text one after the other and all i'd do was excitedly wait for the next message.

cute memes (that, like this one, were sometimes a little dumb too) remind me of you. back when you liked me the same way i did (i still do by the way), i'd see photos like these and remember you. i would be too embarrassed to actually send them to you because i would never allow myself to think that you actually did care for me, and possibly even felt the same way for me. i wish i did send them to you then.

being at the lab reminds me of you. you were so happy that i was loving what i was doing and enjoying myself, especially after the disaster that was my first course. i'd send you pictures and videos of my campus, and all the animals and fish we had housed there, and you'd be so supportive. every time i take a picture of a new 'pet', you'd be the first person i'd send it to. i'm going to hate it there now, but i'll get used to it. being there is going to help me pretend we're still talking.

every time i take pictures like this, i always imagine that you're there with me, giving me suggestions on what settings to use, and helping me with the position of my phone or camera. you got me into photography, even though i'm still an amateur at it. you encouraged me to develop my talents more, and i wish i had done more, so i could have shown you how much you mean to me.

my girl by the foundations is going to kill me. and so are the songs by lewis capaldi that i instantly shared with you when i first heard them. lost on you, bruises, and someone you loved especially (though i never got to share someone you loved with you). i already can't listen to lost boy by ruth b and praying by kesha...and don't get me started on i love you too much by diego luna from the soundtrack of book of life.

words remind me of you. i won't be able to use certain words and phrases anymore, like 'honey', 'sweetheart', 'sweetie', literally any word that i can relate to star wars,

'i miss you'

'i love you'

i was at the library, and had just finished my first class when i saw your first message the last time we talked. my heart dropped, and i thought i had already missed you. i had an entire hour to get rational, but when you replied to my email, i was so selfish. i kept pleading for you to change your mind, to stay and keep being my friend, to talk to me. i never even got the chance to say what i should have told you, what i only thought of after you deleted your email address.

i wish i had been better for you. i know you have your problems too, but it was always just us talking about mine when it would come up. in the end, you wouldn't even want to tell me things, and i know me trying to force you to tell me wasn't helping either. i wish you could have been comfortable enough with me to be able to vent the way i had to you so many times. i'll never stop trying to find out what i did that made you give up on our friendship after tolerating me for so long.

i wish i had seriously told you how much i care for you, and how much i love you. i wish you knew how irreplaceable you are, no matter how many new friends i make. none of them will ever be able to replace you and everything you did for me.

i'm so happy for you, now that you don't have me pulling you down. i hope you achieve everything you want to do, and you become successful, and will be able to raise a family of your own and love them and care for them with all your heart (if you want to of course).

this isn't some kind of suicide note or anything, since i'm still hoping you'll message me again. i know there's a big chance that what we had is over for good, but all i can do now is hope. if this ever gets to you though, this isn't me forcing you to talk to me again. if you don't want to, then i'm just going to have to suck it up and move on. it'll be pretty damn hard to though. ugh.

there's a good chance that this is never gonna get to you (since you probably deleted your tumblr too), but just know that i care about you so, so, so much. i wish you'll be able to live your best life, and if i'm not in it, then so be it.

mwah 💞😚 sparkles~ ✨✨ i hope these will be able to reach you at least..

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