#and she didnt even close the tab 😭😭

[fabled-fiction]

Mirror Image (Miguel O’Hara x Spider!Reader) ANGST

Summary: When Miguel and Jess find a new Spider to recruit, neither of them expected to find you. Someone from Miguel’s past that was long gone…just like you never expected to see his face again.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: SPIDERMAN ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE SPOILERS, angst, talk of death, use od (Y/N), heavy angst

A/N: I didnt respond to the request cause it had two so I chose the one I liked most! Hope this meets expectations and breaks a few hearts 😈 (it also wouldnt lemme tag you 😭)

Request by @written-subs: “a kinda angst(?) fic where Miguel has lost his s/o right? And then he recruits a new spider and finds out its his s/o but in a universe where HE dies and they just stare at eachother in disbelief and lowkey wanna be with each other again but its not canon :(( and reader feels as if its betraying their miguel”

He would like to say that each Spider person chosen to join the spider society was a methodical, long thought out process.

That out of every thousand Spidermen, one was chosen.

But he would honestly be lying.

While there was a review process, where they evaluated a Spider’s abilities on a scale, it was honestly up to who piqued their interest first.

Like right now.

Jess and Miguel looked at the screen with interest.

The current Spider they were reviewing, was a tough one for sure. Probably one of the toughest that had been considered.

They had been a Spider for about seven years. Practically forced into the position due to the war that was going on on their Earth. You were drafted, and then chosen randomly to be genetically altered with Spider Venom in an attempt to make a super soldier.

It was very Earth-199999 esque. At first it almost made Miguel turn the page. He did not want to deal with a Spider that was from an Earth similar to that one. He could not deal with that headache.

But as the war continued, they became more cruel. Being the only successful Spider-Soldier, they wanted to run tests. Take blood, push your endurance and try to make you even more super. In their search to find out why you works, they pushed you away with their cruelty.

And that's when you truly became a Spiderperson.

“They’re tough. I think they’d be a useful asset.”

“You think they could follow orders?”

Jess stood there for a moment, looking over the files Layla was able to grab off your Earth. Everything was either classified, blacked out, or destroyed by you when you went rogue. She wasn’t sure if you would follow orders. You were soldier turned superhuman, turned vigilante. That was a story that told itself. You were a free agent - literally.

But she could feel your determination, even from dimensions away.

“I think they could.”

“We’ll go when their Earth hits o’three hundred.”

You had hit a dent in your plan.

While you had taken out three outposts, it seemed like they knew the next one you were planning on hitting. In retaliation they upped their security, and strengthened their towers to jam your signals. They had you between a rock and a hard place.

So right now, you were stuck.

Grabbing one of your monitors, you let out a guttural scream as you threw it into the wall.

It practically disintegrated into a million little pieces. The wall that it had hit had a sizable dent, with small cracks forming.

Closing out all your tabs, you sighed as you started at your screensaver. You felt your shoulders drop a little as you saw your reflection in the monitor.

Would he be proud? Or disappointed?

Before you could even reminisce, you felt the hairs on your arm stand.

Clicking a tab on the computer that turned it off completely, you quickly jumped up onto the ceiling. Pulling your mask down, you took in a deep breath as you watched the door get practically ripped off its hinges.

Two people walked in, and immediately you felt fear.

They were both Spider-Soldiers…or at least they looked like it. They didn’t have the uniform or the head gear…but instead were both in brightly colored spider themed outfits. It reminded you of when you broke off, you immediately designed your own to combat against your forced conformity.

You were mostly worried about the fact that they were successful in recreating the serum that made you.

“ The tracker says they’re here…are you sure this is their base?”

“ Look around Jess, this is obviously their base.”

Your heart stopped when you heard that voice.

And while it went against everything you’ve learned, everything that was drilled into your system, you acted on emotion. Screw the stealth tactic.

Shooting a web at the female Spider’s ankle, you yanked her up fast and hard so that she was dangling from her ankles.

“SPI-”

A quick web to the mouth shut her up.

Shooting a web at her wrists, you shot back up to tie her wrists to the ceiling as well. Hog tying her to the ceiling, you stared at her for a moment unknowingly making eye contact with her. She shook as she hung there, unsure now what to make of you.

Especially now, as your face lined up with her. You reached forward slowly, gripping onto her glasses and taking them off. She shook her head, breathing heavily as she watched you.

You moved with deadly accuracy. At first she was curious as to why her spidey-senses hadn’t alerted her to you. But as she watched you she noticed how you used your stature to your advantage. You moved like you were one with your surroundings - more so than any Spider they had recruited so far.

Were you…you weren’t even breathing!

As you descended behind the other Spider, your heart was going a mile a minute. Your own spider senses were flying off the handle, it was almost hard to concentrate.

You needed to see if it was actually him.

You were literal inches away from him when your lungs started to scream for air. You had been holding your breath for a solid few minutes. Your expanded lung capacity could only help you for so long.

The minute you had let out just the smallest bit of pressure from your chest, the Spider in front of you had whipped around.

His hand immediately went to your throat, lifting you up with ease.

With your emotions still at an all time high, you started to kick and scratch. His grip was tight, but not deadly. He was holding you to keep you in place, not to hurt you.

While still keeping you in the air, he brought you closer to his face. His head tilted as he watched you struggle, hanging onto the hand that held you tight. His senses were fighting yours. Both your frequencies screaming at eachother. He could see you flinching as well, and not at his grip.

Despite the ringing in your ears, every sense telling you to trust him you needed to see. The growing pit in your stomach felt like it was devouring every bit of energy you had and throwing out every emotion you had managed to bury in these last few years.

Reaching forward, you hand gripped the top of his mask and quickly pulled up.

As if he knew what you were doing, the minute you had a hold on his mask whatever was making him freeze pushed him into motion. He immediately threw you as far away from him as possible.

Both of you were holding the other’s mask.

And both of your hearts felt like they had stopped.

At first he couldn’t believe it. That you were standing right infront of him.

A warmth he hadn’t felt in his chest had slowly started to grow, spreading to his neck and his heart. His hands gripped themselves tightly, to keep him in place. Oh how he knew that he had to stand his ground, and cement himself in place despite the only thing he wanted to do was to run and hold you in his arms…again.

That's exactly what you wanted too. To have him hold you so so close that you were both almost one. Your heart couldn’t keep up with everything that was pumping through your veins right now. 

You thought you would never see him again. It was fact to you for the longest time. You had watched him get taken from you, slowly and painfully. He was the reason for everything. For you going rogue, becoming the vigilante that you were now and painstakingly taking down the organization that forced you to be the way that you were. They took everything from you, and you had promised to take everything from them.

You had promised him…

Just like he had promised you…

He remembers holding you, feeling your body quiver in his arms after a particularly rough encounter. You weren’t built for his world but you were in it anyway. 

He remembers wiping your tears away, the last thing he saw in your eyes was a yearning sadness.

And here he was again, like it was that terrible terrible day. Tears threatening to spill, a look of want filling them.

That made it worse. That you knew him in this world.

“Miguel..?” You called out, your voice barely above a whisper.

Oh how he missed that sound. The way you said his name.

It was the only thing he wanted to hear.

This had to be some cruel joke that the universe was playing on him. That the multiverse had decided would be his fate yet again.

He was stronger than this.

When you took a step towards him, he took a step back.

Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

“Spider-Soldier…We’ve..Maybe we should explain on the way?”

The woman you had webbed up earlier was now standing beside you. Her hand being the anchor you needed to bring you back to reality. Reaching a hand up, you wiped away one of your tears that had fallen.

“You’re not him are you? You’re someone else entirely.”

“Yes…” 

Nodding, you swallowed as you turned to the woman. Giving her glasses back to her, you stood up straighter as the waves of emotion you were feeling began to bottle up.

“Explain what exactly? I have very important matters to attend to here.”

Walking back over to the computer, you turned it back on to try and distract yourself.

You were stupid to think that even for a moment he was back. Nothing in your life had ever been given to you. So to think that he was back without some catch? That was a thought the old you would have believed.

Oh to be that naive again.

Miguel and Jess watched from behind, as you continued to clack away. The way you had just sucked it all in, and became strict in two seconds really reminded Jess of Miguel…it was almost uncanny.

Looking over at him, she frowned when he saw the look on his face. Now that you weren’t looking at him, he let out a little emotion. 

The sadness in his eyes alone could weigh down multiverses.

Jess came to stand next to you, and saw the same look in his eyes that Miguel had. With a heavy heart, she put her hand over yours. It was shaking with every tape of the key, and you were sure if she hadn’t take your attention again another monitor would soon meet its fate

“I know this may be…alot right now but what we’re offering you could do some real good. You could help so many other Earths if you just hear us out.”

Stopping for a moment, you looked over at her and swallowed. You had so much to do here, for him and for yourself.

“My…Earth needs me though.”

Jess took a look over your screen. She could see that you were scrambling for an answer to an almost unsolvable problem. You were backed in a corner with now way out right now. She was sure it was the reason why there was a destroyed monitor on the other side of the room. 

“It looks like you could use some time away…come back at it with fresh eyes? Plus what we’re offering could be a little release of some of that building tension?”

Looking at her, you took in a small breath before pinching the bridge of your nose. Jess would be laughing right now at how uncanny you and Miguel acted oh so similar.

You two must’ve been inseparable on this Earth.

Miguel stood there, watching with a softened gaze. He wanted to go back. Because the longer he stood there the more his resolve was crumbling.

Especially now, as you looked back at him. He felt his heart break all over again.

“What even are you…inviting me too? You’re talking about Earths and you guys are…spider people?”

Miguel sighed, as he crossed his arms and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t believe he was dragging you back into this.

…what if this took you away from him again?

“It's complicated to explain here…why don’t we take you back to headquarters, where we can show you the whole presentation.”

Crossing your arms, you looked back at the woman and then Miguel.

You desperately wanted to just run back with him. Your heart was betraying you, because all it took was one look and it felt like you were a stupid teenager again. Hiding behind the bleachers and sharing secret looks.

It was beating in your chest at the same speed it did when he had kissed you for the first time.

He must have known you on his…Earth. Your head was just barely piecing together the fact that multiverses were real. You remember one of your fellow soldiers talking about it…as a way to distract themselves from what was happening around them.

But now you had to catch up to the idea that he knew you too…or at least a version of you.

From the look in his eye that you barely managed to catch every time he would glance at you, you could tell thing had not ended well for you.

That little voice in the back of your head, the voice you usually listened to to get you through tough times started to speak up again.

That since he had known you on his Earth…maybe just maybe you could get to know him.

Like you knew your Miguel.

Miguel found himself having the same thoughts. The same shameful thoughts that your touch would be the same. Your pillow talk could possibly be the same, The way you said his name was, so why not anything else? 

Flashes of your Miguel grounded you though. That he was not yours, at least not here. You had already had your time with Miguel. And for some reason it was only that short amount of time.

You had already gotten your allotted amount of touches,

Kisses,

Caresses,

And time to just…hold one another.

“ (Y/N)...”

Looking at him, he was carefully watching you. Him saying your name in that beautifully pained voice confirmed it for you. That he had already had his time with you too.

The woman, gods you should have remembered her name he said it earlier, came to stand next to Miguel. Pressing a few buttons on her watch, suddenly a medley of light and color opened behind her. 

“It really would be easier to explain if you just came with us. I promise I will bring you back if you say no, but just hear us out.”

Tossing you a wristband, you swallowed before looking back at your computer.

It was probably best that you not be here for a few hours…at least thats what you were telling yourself just to let yourself off the hook for jumping at the chance to be with him again.

Sliding it on, you watched as the woman stepped through and it was just you and Miguel standing there with the portal painting him in a beautiful array.

Holding out his hand to you, you could see how his hand shook.

You also noticed how it stopped when you took it.

“Fine…”

After you took his hand you knew your fate was sealed.

That whatever this “Spider Society” was…you would accept.

Just to be near him again.

Even though it would hurt. That it would feel like your heart was getting ripped out over and over again.

A part of you hoped that it would stop…or numb after a while. But in the back of your mind you knew it wouldn’t

But at least you would get to see his face again.

#miguel ohara #miguel ohara x reader #marvel x reader #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse #x reader #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader

[satankilledmyghost]

I NEED MORE WOLFIE😭😭😭😭😭

(Love you tho. Even if you don’t write anything, because hello it’s me, I’m proud to read the finished products heahaehehe)

OR GIMME (or us*) HEAD CANNONS OF THEM AT A FUNERAL. that would be something I would PAY to see.

For some reason, I kinda want to just be in the mind of one of them. Just for a day. Yknow? And I’m also debating starting the series over, and I could be texting you this, but hey, I’m bored and too lazy to switch tabs rn. If you do post this, I wanna say hi to everyone. Hit me up. Please. I need more people to appreciate the wolf without thinking I’m into some wattpad werewolf books.

BITCHHHHH I THOUGHT U WERE A RANDOM ASS DUCKLING SO I WAS CONFUSED ABOUT THE TEXTING PART ABBSJSNA. I DIDNT KNOW YOU CHANGED YOUR USERNAME😭

y’all, say hi to my bestie. she’s a fucking nutcase but we love her nonetheless <3

okay, one, fucking reread weak hero. or imma go to your house and find you. two, here’s your request, but go see your therapist. three, don’t hate on the wattpad- yeah, i- i can't justify those.

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEATH, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND FUNERALS, HEARTBREAK, ANGST?

weak hero characters reaction to your death/at your funeral

donald na

you know that one time where kingsley went into donald’s office and trailed off mid sentence because he noticed donald was eating a loaf of bread and zoning out??

that’s his reaction you dying

no emotions, no crying, just an empty, numb feeling in his chest and he can only think of you and not really focus on anything else

he'll be doing something and thoughts like “they would really like this” or “they would fucking hate this” or just picturing your reactions to something that donald’s doing in the current moment will cross his mind

he'll replay past conversations and interactions with you an unhealthy amount of times, suffering through tears. whether he wants to admit it or not, you had an affect on donald.

if you die tragically(say, beaten to death over union bs or jumped or whatever), he’ll punish those mother fuckers. no mercy.

donald'll be more salty and short-tempered to everyone around him. even kingsley isn’t safe.

donald misses you, and he longs to be in your presence one last time, even if it means listening to you complain about how cruel he runs his union.

jake ji

will bawl his eyes out and will probably have a psychotic break down.

he’ll be mental, how dare the universe take you from him?!

the one thing in his life that isn’t tied to the union, you were his little slice of life

a tiny piece of this world that isn’t cruel, someone he can go to.

sure, jake’s got dean and the guys, but they can be assholes sometimes. the one person that would always be there, arms open wide and endless love just for him, you, is gone. and it won't ever change.

all of those late, spontaneous nights at the parks, you pestering him to get him to study, pulling all-nighters watching anime, walking with you to and from school, your bright smile, your laugh, all of those times that you and jake cuddled close and fell asleep. these things will never happen again and jake can't handle that reality.

jake will call you, desperate and foolishly hoping that you'll pick up your phone. but all he ever gets is your voicemail. if you had access to your phone, it'd be voicemail after voicemail of jake violently sobbing into his phone, begging, pleading for you to come back.

wolf keum

his body will have a reaction to your death, but his mind won’t catch up.

with news of your death, wolf will start to tremble, his voice will be useless, and his body is super tense. he might even start crying.

but while all of this is happening, wolf won’t be feeling anything internally. his mind will run blank as he tries to process the fact that you’re dead.

wolf's emotionally numb and the only coherent thought he has is “oh, they’re dead. is this how someone’s supposed to react? what i’m doing now? why is there tears? i don’t feel sad? okay. they're gone. you're gone.”

he saw you this morning. wolf walked you to school. what happened? is this a sick joke?? cause if it is, wolf will beat your ass to death's doorstep himself.

but it’s not a joke and that slams him when he attends your funeral. wolf will be in the back of the room, hands stuffed into his pockets and eyeing your sobbing family and friends warily.

wolf doesn’t participate, hell, he can’t even bring himself to witness you getting buried, but he stays for the eulogy.

just hearing what your friends and family have to say about you kills him.

but it’s also almost like a peace offering at the same time. in what wolf hears about you via everyone else, he realizes that the you that you were around him was only for him. you showed him sides of you that none of these people knew about.

if wolf walked out of your funeral with anything that day, it was a minuscule glimmer of bitter sweet pride that he was the only one that got to love that version of you.

forrest lee

he’s just pissed off. permanently.

cries himself to sleep over you, is sweet to your family at your funeral, and stays through the whole thing

he doesn't know how to process these emotions. grape might lecture him about the 5 stages of grief, but forrest wouldn't be listening.

he'd dig himself a grave, drown himself in whatever he could get his hands on to escape reality.

forrest would pull the dumbest shit and end up driving Hyeongshin into the ground with his carelessness and get beaten a millimeter from death by donald's hands.

but as grape and robin watch on in complete horror and shame, forrest would be on the ground oddly content because maybe, just maybe, donald will deal that final blow and he'll get to see you again.

jimmy bae

he’s a giant softie, he’ll cry until he’s a human raisin as soon as he gets the news.

he won’t say anything to anyone, especially at your funeral. sure, he’ll talk to your family, but it’s short and quiet.

jimmy would definitely stand at your headstone hours after your burial ends. he won’t say anything, but he’s there. and he desperately wants to know if you’re there, too, sitting on your headstone or standing next to him, leaning into his side like you always did when you were alive.

jimmy always complained about you wanting physical affection, but he’d do just about anything now to hear you pout until he let you hold his hand on the walk to school just one more time.

big ben

you broke him. i don't know how else to explain it. ben's screams still haunt whoever was in earshot to this day.

ben's typical optimism and emotional maturity in tough situations will be thrown out the window.

he can't even take care of himself. ben will be too busy laying, numb, in his bed to attend your funeral, but gogo and the others would force him.

bens eyes are dead and he scarily resembles a corpse as he just exists while your funeral commences.

he's a husk of the person he used to be, though it'll take a long while before he's able to start living again.

though, ben will never be the same.

alex go

he disappears. no one knows where he went or if he’ll come back.

ben will try the ocean to see if alex is there, and the first few times he might be, but alex quickly gets sick of being brought back home to where you weren’t there.

alex thinks that if he isn’t in your neighborhood, walking by your school, your favorite store, that cafe you love, you aren’t dead.

it’s easier to process your death if alex is away from all the things that reminds him of you.

alex would drag himself to your funeral and would comfort your mother as your father holds his shoulder and talks about all the things you’d say about alex to them. your dads voice would be wobbly and your mother would laugh through rivers of tears and say how giddy you were after a date with him you’d be skipping through the rest of the week.

if, one day, he does come back, alex won’t say anything. he’ll focus on bettering himself because if he couldn’t protect you from death, what use does he have?

teddy jin

teddy spends his days inside with co. he’s quiet about your death, but not the concerning type of quiet.

it’s almost like teddys pondering why you died, though the cause of your death is public knowledge.

oddly, teddy processes and gets through his grief healthy. he does become more quiet than he was before.

like jimmy, teddy would stand for hours at your burial site. he just can’t nail the reality that you’re gone, even though he sat through and talked at your funeral.

gerard jin

gerard would be suicidal. if he can’t bear the idea that his friend couldn’t perform in his band for one year over burned hands, gerard wouldn’t survive news of your death.

he wouldn’t touch his guitar, and his voice is too weak without you to sing.

he attends your funeral, though, and he tries his hardest to gain the strength to talk to your family.

his mom would hand him your journal/note that you wrote, adamant that this is something he needs to read.

and he does, but he wishes to god that he didn’t.

you wrote to him and about him. every little thing that you two did together, gerard’s quirks that you loved. hell, you even poked fun at him one time or another.

he clings to your words and there’s months of grief in store for him.

when gerard finally starts to get over your death, he’ll write the most beautifully grim song about you.

gray yeon

we’ve all experienced what stephan ann has done to gray, so his reaction to you dying will be almost the exact same.

but this time, gray has friends. ben and alex would help gray start to get back into living again. those two would take him out, starting small and hopefully working back up to what he usually would do before your death.

eugene and gerard would be the silent supporters, eugene being more apt to confront gray and directly asking him what he needs.

rowan and teddy are the two idiots in the corner trying to be serious, but rowan fucks it up and gets smacked by teddy. they’re a distraction for gray, even if for a moment, but a welcomed one.

gray would write to you, telling you about his day and what’s been going on that you’ve missed.

once he’s finished writing to you, he’d walk to your grave and set it down, a small part of him hopeful that somehow you’ll be able to read it.

once he’s more comfortable around your tombstone, gray will take time to sit down and talk to you instead of letters.

eugene gale

poor baby doesn’t know what to do :(

eugene would close up and shun everyone around him.

he’d be mute and refuse to open up to anyone, deciding that suffering in silence is the best way to go instead of bothering everyone else with his grief.

eugene might go as far as to be hostile to ben and everyone else, and that’s when they know something is wrong wrong.

eugene is in desperate silence at your funeral, grasping at air to try and stop himself from crying.

he takes notice of the flowers at your eulogy, oddly. you had never stated what you like regarding flowers, if you liked them at all, so eugene found it odd that there were extravagant bouquets for you.

but when he visits your grave, he’ll bring different types of flowers and, depending on how well the grass above your casket is growing, find out which ones you like.

there’s no logic to this, eugene is aware of that, but it’s something that reassure eugene that you aren’t totally gone.

after months, eugene would sit at your grave and rattle off facts and stories to your head stone just like he did when you were alive.

rowan im

rowan could barely survive through your funeral, having to leave multiple times from sobbing, and visiting your grave is unbearable right now.

he would force himself to stay bright and cheery. he’s the type to make sure that nothing that bothers him will show.

he needs to stay that one friend that can make everyone laugh, ya know?

but more and more, rowan’s grief would seep onto his mask and the group would definitely notice.

it’d start with one quiet day, and then the jokes are less and less, and then for a whole week rowan just gives up.

how’s he supposed to function when you’re gone? you’re his number two, the one person who would go along with his shit and have fun.

how’s he supposed to find fun in mundane things now if you’re not around??

#weak hero #weak hero webtoon #weak hero x reader

[bonesandthebees]

Spruce not reading honey and tangerines made me remember i got like halfway through before losing all my ao3 tabs and never finishing it 😭 i’ll have to go back and find where i was soon

Also one of my only thoughts after burning gold was literally just “wow tallulah covering her eyes for moat of the fic? She really is just like her father”

Also also WF WF WF MY BELOVED clinic and stars will always have a special place in my heart but sbi’s fight after wilbur said he knew why tommy left at the syndicate meeting will always have a special place in my heart, i re-read it sometimes just for fun

Every once in a while i’ll also remember i was here when the last few chapters of clinic weren’t out yet and then i’ll feel old

I vividly remember checking if clinic had updated, it had, and it was the chapter where puffy came and visited tommy and brought him cinnamon rolls and revealed she was a former-hero

And then i remember being here for all of wf, and reading stars when it only had one chapter and then forgetting about it until it was finished 😭

I can picture so clearly in my head checking wf one day at dinner, i had only read the first chapter a while back and hadn’t kept up, there was now five chapters and i was so excited. I was eating tacos. I kept up with wf updates after that

Sorry for the ramble, everyone’s recent asks have reminded me of a lot of things lmao, still debating if i should re-read stars and i’m so very close to giving in

- 🪐

NOOOO I ACCIDENTALLY INCLUDED THE COVERING EYES BIT AGAIN THIS TIME WITH TALLULAH I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE why do I keep doing this

the fact that you reread that painful fight in wf for fun certainly says something /j (it was such a fun scene to write I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much)

damn you've been around for that long?? you're really an og saturn anon. I remember when I wrote that clinic chapter with puffy and tommy talking after he'd been kidnapped and that conversation ended up being so much longer than I meant it to be. I was so frustrated bc it meant I had to put off the crimeboys reconciliation convo by another chapter and I wanted to write that one so bad, but the puffy tommy convo was so good and flowed so well so I couldn't be too upset

looking back on when wf was updating feels a bit like a fever dream for me bc 1) I wrote most of it during the winter quarter of my senior year of college. we'd gone back to in person for fall quarter after a full year of online bc covid, but then winter had a surge of covid cases again so almost all my classes went BACK online but I had one optional in person class once a week. so I had a lot of free time to write and would spend entire days in a campus coffee shop writing wf 2) sirentwt happened while I was writing wf. that was certainly a Time

anyway i love that you remember you were eating tacos when you noticed wf had 5 chapters up now. I remember I kept trying new drinks at the coffee shop every day when I went there to write but none of it was very good but it was a student run place that had really nice vibes so I became a regular anyway

#ask #saturn anon #world forgetting

[lunarw0rks]

The most embarrassing thing just happened to me.….

So basically.I was scrolling on your page..then I came across the Reddit audio link.And I normally don’t click on author recommended links,but this time I decided to. i was so curious to listen to the audio link that I created a whole Reddit account, and downloaded the app. so I listened to the first audio, got hooked and then I fell down a rabbit hole of Reddit audios.

Fast forward I decided to take a break. and finish my tasks today. One of my tasks being contacting apple support for cause I have storage problems.

Basically I called Apple and I was connected with a agent and they helped me through.but then comes the relevant and crazy part. In order to help me and guide me to what I needed to do and to fix this storage problem.I needed to screen share 😳

So I allowed the women access to my screen share.but then I forgot I had the audio paused but the tab still opened.

You know the control settings part of the iPhone tools where you can play and pause music or podcasts?(the part where you slide down on the right upper and corner, and there's a drop down of tools.like where wifi, blue tooth and more is located)

So basically it was there. But paused. And the lady asked me to connect to my wifi 💀

To make it worse

I had to switch apps,my Reddit tab was like three or four tabs down to the left of the current tab I was on.And “soundgasm.net” was still open 😭

She didn’t react,but deep down I have a feeling she saw it 😭 and I couldn't even close the tab if I wanted to cause then she would've saw it, so I just pretended it wasn't there like a dickhead and I tried to avoid the tab at all costs.

Ahhh.. in conclusion, this is what happens when I'm blinded by stupidity and horniness.

IM SO SORRY— I WOULD BE MORTIFIED LMAO. GOOD THING SHE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING, MAYBE SHE WANTED THE LINK, WHO KNOWS 👀

GLAD YOU DISCOVERED A LOVE FOR HORNY AUDIOS, THOUGH!!

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF DELUSIONS AND DEPRAVITY :))

#not writing #rachel speaks

[wondermentishere]

okay okay okay. its 6:44 am but i cant sleep so i figured i might as well spill the tea. first off, im so glad i came across that lecture that broke down social anxiety and how to embrace it before i went to the show yesterday. it was so helpful and literally everything i needed to hear. im now walking around paying attention to every single feeling that surfaces. im consciously asking myself what place am i operating from… out of love? out of fear? and if the answer isnt out of love then what do i need to release and embrace to get to love. - now thats wisdom.

so yes got to the show and i had moments arise out of fear but i welcomed and said to myself, “okay great youre nervous. thats okay, thats good. lets sit with this and accept that is apart of this moment and apart of who i am right now.” it really did work. after having a pretty severe and detrimental experience with my anxiety a few days ago, i just couldnt believe i was able to stay as calm as i did with this new technique.

so yeah i was the only gay and black person standing in line lol. (i knew it would be like this) i tweeted that the only negroes around were me and curtis mayfield haha. i got a compliment on my shirt which i accepted but i dont think was my warmest interaction. whatever. got sat at a table that was right near the walk way so i said damn, okay, we’re definitely gonna cross paths tonight. she walked out and i think she noticed me before i noticed her. she was so fucking pretty. and i was happy to see her in her costume that she was gushing about on instagram. she was taking pictures with the audience and i immediately was like “oh no, what do i do? gotta play it cool!” so i grabbed my phone quickly just so i had something else to stare at. when she was done with them i looked up and she was looking at me. ugh. she walked over and she nearly caressed me but stopped herself. she said she would be hosting tonight (surprise surprise mf) and it was gonna be a fun show. i told her i was excited for her set and responded with a “ooh okay” ☺️. i texted james immediately that we already had contact but i surprisingly wasnt nervous. i was chilling. i ordered my drink then ran out to my car to put on perfume and fangirl to james over ft real quick.

the show started and i could tell she was a little nervous. she kept looking at me and stuttering a little bit which was cute. the crowd wasnt warmed up yet but she was doing fine really. performers came and did their thing which was nice. the long island tea was really starting to get to me but i wanted another lol. she performed and just completely captivated the room. i figured she wouldnt walk over to me since i was kinda in the back but… she did 😭 and i was just shaking my damn head. she walked behind me and i felt her pressure on my head like she was grinding on me. it was funny because for a second i didnt even know what side of me she was on lol. she was working the fuck out of the room. shes such an amazing performer. and i told she was after she was done. actually i said “youre fucking amazing” and she smiled and tapped my little chin. ugh. yeah. she didnt perform again which was a bummer. oh yeah, i did the wobble tonight. this lady got up and wanted to dance and her friend and audience was gonna leave her hanging so i had to lowkey save the day. more people got up eventually and this older lady was fucking it up too hahaha. wow 😍 lily wrapped that shit up though quick 💀

i had plans to ask her for her number. like i wrote three different versions of a script lol… but when i got there i realized i wouldnt need that. i could just speak from the heart and be real with her. but also she was taking pics with the front row for a second once the show ended so i just closed my tab and dipped. i also got a free shot on top of my two long islands so ya girl was nice and tipsy after everything was done. i went to 54th street and waited 30 minutes for a pasta i didnt even want. (ordered the wrong one) sipped on some more beer and took my ass home. i watched girlfriends as i tried to down the pasta lol. it wasnt nasty just… not what my taste buds were craving.

i had a dream about lily. she told me she possibly had a uti lol. very friendly vibes. i had a moment during the show when i wondered if we would be compatible. i tweeted early that she might get bored with me but im still curious to find out. shes a mega nerd which i love but idk if i can keep up with. lol. idkkkk. also my soft baby libra moon against her aries… eeee. idk lol. looking forward to seeing her again for sure. she said shes going to canada next week for a burlesque festival so itll probably be a second (only hoping two weeks) before i see her again. i really like her. and yesterday was such a good experience ❤️❣️

#diary #scorpio crush