#and then a new character came along and this “stupid little bipedal” (character’s words not mine) kept asking him questions

[quodekash]

last year i did a drama performance and at the end my character breaks down completely and falls apart and his entire world has crumbled into ruins, and afterwards everyone was saying i did really good and that it felt like i was genuinely distressed and honestly i felt like bruce banner.

“that’s my secret, cap. i’m always having a mental breakdown.”

#but literally the character is a bookworm and he knows so many facts and so much information about so many things #(and it was absurdism so all the characters were stuck in this one room and that was their lives and their world #they had no outer lives) #and then a new character came along and this “stupid little bipedal” (character’s words not mine) kept asking him questions #and it went in circles #and he realised everything he knew was entirely pointless and why was he even there and what was he doing with life #”most of the time I have my head stuck in a book memorising a whole bunch of useless facts that I only use once in a lifetime” #”I have nothing to apply my knowledge to. except trivial matters which being downright honest are a complete waste of time #and don’t even require me to exercise my brain” #(yes I still have it memorised) #his last line is literally “now could you please go away I wish to wallow in my self pity” #and honestly how could I NOT get super into that role? #like all of that was so flipping relatable #anyway

[dzamie-oc]

4: Hungry

Rekus stumbled into what seemed to be the kitchen, yawning and fighting to keep his eyes open. The black-furred Katul, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, successfully located the table and an empty chair, and almost managed to take a seat without tripping over his own paws. Across from him, a far more alert-looking, green dragon snickered at him and made little attempt to hide doing so. Rekus glowered at him, and in return, the dragon gave him a smug smile and stuck out his long, forked tongue. “There is... a dragon here,” he concluded, “and this dragon is definitely not one of the dragons who hangs out at the Guild.”

“Oh good, you’re awake,” came the cheerful response from Dzamie as the cheetah Katul rounded the corner. In one hand, he carried one plate with a pile of scrambled eggs with cheese, something green, and bits of some kind of meat; in the other, the plate was pretty much all meat - bacon, sausage, and what looked like a steak. His white fur in front was covered by a black apron, though it looked more like one that a science lab would have, rather than a kitchen; his black-spotted back also sported an apron, though untied and resembling more a cape than a protective garment. Aside from those and his signature glowing-red mana crystal necklace, he seemed to not be wearing anything - then again, neither was the dragon. Dzamie slid the second plate over to the dragon, whose eyes lit up, almost literally, before he snagged a couple of sausages in his jaws. The other plate found its home in front of an empty chair. Dzamie stole a quick bite from the eggs, leaning over the chair, and then held his hand away as a brief, intense fire swept over it without singing his yellow fur. “So,” he started, “whatcha like? I’ve got eggs; I’ve got cheese; I’ve got all KINDS of meat - especially human if you’re fine with that, but also stuff like pig and chicken.”

Rekus, still not quite awake enough to understand the concept of being asked a question, pointed slowly towards the green dragon, who was, at that moment, licking his muzzle after downing about five sausages and staring intensely at the bacon. “The dragon... is it-”

“Is HE.” The green dragon, despite having his mouth full of bacon, interjected in a low, yet crystal-clear voice.”

“Is he dangerous?” the panther amended. The second the words had left his lips, he froze as his mind reminded itself that, even though the dragon wasn’t quite as big as Vanille, and was certainly smaller than some of the dragons he had seen used as graduation test targets, he was still only a couple seconds away, bigger than him, and much better armed - black fur, feline fangs, and a pretty fit body were easily outclassed by tough scales, jaws that could bite his head off in one go, and probably twice his weight in what looked like muscles and murder bound by scales. Fortunately, Dzamie shot him a casual, friendly smile. Unfortunately, both he and the dragon gave him an answer, repeatedly.

“Yes.”

“Absolutely.”

“Deadliest thing here.”

“Second-deadliest. He does kill a lot of people.”

“I’m very good at it.”

“Oh! But, uh, don’t worry!” the spotted Katul added with a grin, “He hasn’t killed you yet, so he probably, uh... wait, no. You’re a- er, he- ... Look, HM, don’t injure him.”

HM nodded, then looked up at Dzamie, steak clamped securely in his sharp-fanged mouth. “Psychological scarring?”

Dzamie sighed. “Not on purpose. Why do you always do this? I’m trying to give a student of mine breakfast.”

“It’s fun.”

Rekus, whose shock had done an excellent job of waking him up, finally spoke up. “Well, you did say he’s dangerous; that’s not exactly... comforting.” He blinks a few times, before remembering what else he had to say. “Oh, and eggs are fine, thank you, however you make them. I won’t turn down a sausage or two, though I’ve not had human since joining the Guild Academy.”

This time, HM stuck his tongue out at Dzamie, who threw a bit of egg at him, easily caught. The smiling Katul turned to address the dark-furred one, when Rekus suddenly interrupted him with another question: “Also, um... where are my clothes?”

Dzamie opened his mouth and held up a finger, paused, looked to the side in thought, and responded after a few seconds, pressing his fingertips together. “So, in order: I’ve seen people do really stupid things when they think a dragon isn’t dangerous; also, saying he isn’t would be a huge blow to his pride and an outright, bold-faced lie, and I speak no lies. I’ll get you a plate and give you some of these eggs and a couple vrit-kualir sausages, three birds with two stones. And finally, they’re currently ash probably scattered on the winds. You probably don’t remember too much about last night’s party, but you tried to get into a staring contest with Florentia - also a dragon, by the way - and, well, there’s a reason you don’t get into staring contests with dragons.”

As the implications settled on him, Rekus quickly patted down his body, scouring his memory for anything he might have done. Dzamie’s eyes widened, and the cheetah quickly amended his explanation, “No, the clothes thing was after you fell asleep - HM was being reckless and set you ablaze.”

“And then this dumbass decided to use teleportation to solve the problem, instead of pyromancy like a sensible person.” HM added with a laugh. Rekus noticed his mouth seemed to finally be forming the words he said. “So, once we had one naked Katul sleeping on the couch, and a pile of burning clothes, I did my level best to fix the problem. It didn’t work, because I was drunk.”

“You were not drunk; don’t lie.”

“It worked perfectly, because fire-breathing dragons are often pyromaniacs. The problem was that the fire wasn’t big enough.”

Dzamie grabbed an extra plate and divided up the eggs, passing one plate to Rekus. “Anyway, I carried you over to a guest bed and kinda forgot about the clothes thing until now. I’ll give you something of mine, though they might be a bit baggy.” He smiled and raised one leg, balancing perfectly still as he continued, “long legs after all. But yeah, nobody tried anything. Closest thing was Florentia’s stare thing, and that started and ended with you giving her a wing massage.”

Rekus nodded slowly, breathing a sigh of relief. He picked up a fork and tried some of the eggs. The green plant thing wasn’t a very good addition, he decided, but the rest was tasty. The next minute was spent in relative silence while the three - panther, cheetah, and dragon - ate their breakfast, with Rekus avoiding the bigger bits of the vegetable.

The silence was broken by quick, light footsteps, followed by a red-scaled, bipedal dragoness poking her head around the corner and carrying a bunch of light blue carrots, visibly damp. She slid a stool over and took a seat, placing the pile of blue roots in front of her. “Oh, you guys missed Spyro leaving. He seemed in a hurry once he saw me, but left this note...” the dragon reached down and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Seeing as she, like HM, was also in nothing but her scales, Rekus took notice that the paper was completely dry and decided not to pursue that line of thought for his own mental safety. “Here, I’ll read it: ‘Sorry for cutting and running, but I got word from Avalar about some big troll guy. The party was a blast. Thanks for introducing me to that purple fan dragoness, though I think she broke shortly after I started talking to her, so I hope she’s okay. Also, the blue-carrot she-demon was nicer this time, so good for her. Pass along a thanks?’ Hmm. am I losing my edge?”

Dzamie swallowed the last bite of his eggs and shrugged. “Your BCL ran out after what’s-his-face took a few dozen direct hits, so that probably helped. If you ask me, though, Dream, maybe it’s good to not re-traumatize the cute purple boi.”

Dream huffed and took a loud bite of one of her carrots. “It was ONE game of Truth or Dare! Ten years ago!” She glanced over at Rekus and her expression softened into a smile. She held one of the unbitten blue carrots out to him. “Oh, hey, you’re new. Wanna try a blue carrot? They’re safe for carnivores.” When Dzamie didn’t stop her, Rekus cautiously took the offered vegetable.

“Yeah, and if records of that game still existed, I’d go back and show you why most of the named characters in the original Spyro games have an undeserved phobia of you now.”

Dream finished her first carrot, and talked between loud bites of her second. “I assume part of that ‘most’ is because Moneybags deserved everything the gamerunner and I gave him and more. You remember me plugging his craw with an entire clip and the dance number he led people in as a result!” The Katul merely snickered in response.

Rekus, who had been about to bite the carrot in his hand, suddenly thought better of the idea. “Uh, y’know, I don’t think I’m all that hungry anymore,” he said, pushing himself back from the table.

HM grinned. “What a coincidence. I am!” A quick tensing of his leg muscles was all the warning the panther got before the hungry predator launched himself at him. Horrified, he stared down the dark throat of the dragon, an instant before the scene suddenly changed.

Rekus found himself sitting on the guest bed he’d gotten up from an hour or so ago. Laying on the next one over, hands behind his head, was Dzamie, now out of his aprons. “So,” he started conversationally, as though he hadn’t just cast two precise teleportation spells to save his student from a hungry dragon, “most of my non-costume stuff is pretty plain and honestly interchangeable. You’re smaller than 36/32, right?”

“Uh... yeah.” he responded. Sitting up on the bed, he couldn’t help but wonder if it had all been just a really weird dream, but he didn’t want to walk down towards where the dragon could be if it wasn’t.

#writing #slice of life #ocs #oc: dzamie #oc: hm #oc: rekus #oc: dream #text #smaugust in november