#and they take turns visiting kaiba's office to fuck him and you know

[judgmentalfishnun]

Yugioh is such a prime fandom for polyshipping, no wonder I vibed with it so hard as a kid.

#ygo #i was randomly imagining a scenario where the whole gang is together #and they take turns visiting kaiba's office to fuck him and you know #make sure he's drinking water and eating and stuff #am i even allowed to talk about this on tumblr dot com these days

[techno-sorcerer]

Adjusting to the Dark: Chapter 4 Cassandras Part 1

Story Summary:  After recovering from an attack, Kaiba attempts to return to work. The problem: it was a vampire attack, and he didn’t recover so much as turn. Meanwhile, demons lurk ready to strike and take Kaiba Corp at the first sign of weakness.

Chapter Summary: Shadi delivers two warnings: one regarding the threat Kaiba poses to others and another about a threat to Kaiba’s own life. There are enough grains of truth to keep Kaiba’s attention, but ultimately Shadi’s words turn to nonsense.

Words: 6,455

Chapter Content Warnings: Referenced canonical suicide (Gozaburo’s), mentions of cissexism (Trans Broken Arm Syndrome. No incidents depicted.), mentions of hallucinations, general discussions of death

Chapter One: tumblr, ao3

Jun Liu, who had already been waiting en garde, still managed to straighten when Kaiba exited the bathroom. Meanwhile, Detective Shadi stood, unblinking, a couple yards away. He looked up when Kaiba exited the bathroom but barely moved a muscle otherwise. Kaiba turned to Jun Liu and held out the bag. “Make sure this gets to the police department in the next few days, though sooner will save both face and nose.”

Jun Liu nodded. “Do you still need me here while you talk with Detective Shadi? The detectives may still be by the crime scene, and I would like to touch base with them before they leave to aid with our own investigation. It may even be the last chance to see what happened before it all gets hidden behind red tape.” Jun Liu turned towards Detective Shadi. “I do not believe you are going to hurt him, but with him only just returned, your less than stellar reputation, and information that his life may be at stake, you can see why I may be worried about leaving.”

“I understand your concern,” Detective Shadi looked Jun Liu in the eye. “Unfortunately, what I have to say is for his eyes and ears only. Even your guard,” Detective Shadi glanced at Arnold and then regained eye contact with Jun Liu, “will have to step away while we discuss this.”

“That is not very reassuring.”

Detective Shadi shrugged. “But, it is the truth. If you need something to sooth your mind, your boss is not in immediate danger. However, if he is not careful, how he handles these next few days can lead to others dying even if by accident. Accident or not, with the chance to have forewarning and the chance to avoid it, those deaths would be on him. Still, your boss has yet to answer your question, and your presence is ultimately up to him.”

Kaiba considered it for a moment.  “Others dying. Like the garbage collectors?”

“That is one possibility, yes.”

“Hmm.” Detective Shadi’s insistence on speaking alone was odd, and after the alleyway Kaiba had good reason to be wary.  Somebody had tried to kill him, and somebody had killed three people. Agreeing to meet the detective, who despite being otherwise competent was not trusted by others in the department, without security present was practically inviting trouble. But, he also needed more information on who attacked him, who had created the scene he woke up to. Without knowing what happened, the fear that his attacker could come back remained.  Kaiba loved a puzzle but hated a mystery, and Detective Shadi’s information had the potential to turn the situation from one to the other.

The portent of death also weighed on Kaiba’s mind. Kaiba was under no illusions that he was a good person. He had extorted, threatened, and destroyed businesses and lives, at first to protect himself and his brother but then almost out of habit. He’d promised the Big Five power to use them against Gozaburo and then tossed the promises aside when he was done. He saw what needed to be done, and he did it. If that made him ruthless then so be it.

But, the one person he would wish death on was already dead, and even then he had been horror struck as Gozaburo had flung himself out the window. He didn’t want anyone else to die.

“Arnold can stay out of conversation range but enough within earshot of a cry for help, and knowing that the suspicion would then fall on him should provide enough of a deterrent to prevent Detective Shadi from trying anything. You may leave. Give Arnold the instructions on the way out. Also, tell him to make sure to get a ride ready; I would like to be able to leave as soon as this discussion is over.”

Jun Liu shot Kaiba a worried- or was it concerned?- glance before ‘yes-sir’ing and heading out. Relief flashed over the detective’s face. “So, are you ready to talk?”

“I am at the very least curious about what you have to say. If you want more privacy, we can move to the closer to the elevators.” Kaiba gestured behind him. The Kaiba Corp lobby had a fairly open floor plan with a few rooms and utilities scattered around the edges. Only the cluster elevators in the center would block someone’s line of sight. “If that is not enough, we could always head to my office, but I would rather get this done and over with here.”

Detective Shadi thought the options over. “By the elevators should be fine, so long as we remain quiet. Walls provide a false sense of protection anyway.”

Kaiba gave a short hum in affirmation. As they walked towards the elevator shafts, something about Detective Shadi- or at least his image- seemed to quiver, and when they finally reached their destination, he turned towards Kaiba and put a finger to his lips. Kaiba raised an eyebrow.

Suddenly, Detective Shadi’s form lightly glowed before it began to shift and wobble. Then, a ripple started at the top of his form and rolled downward. It passed over his turban, earrings, and skin with no effect, but passing over his eyes, Kaiba saw his golden brown irises widen and his pupils disappear. Detective Shadi’s eyeliner also thickened, making his already intense stare all the more formidable. Once it hit his suit, the clothes began to unfurl into a set of tan robes with a white shawl draped over his shoulders like a cape.

Kaiba jumped backwards with a yelp. What the ever loving fuck? Suddenly the warning bells that had been off since he had failed to fully sense the man turned into sirens. Detective Shadi reached out towards him, but Kaiba stepped back. He felt his lips pull back, and something twitched in his mouth.

Detective Shadi pulled his hand back and put a finger to his lips again, before moving his hand straight through the wall. He then spoke softly, “I am not a threat, but the world is more complicated than you think.”

Kaiba blinked. Something clicked into place. In fact, suddenly Detective Shadi’s lack of presence made complete sense. He began to relax, and the strange sensation in his mouth pulled back.  “I already think the world is quite complicated but not in the way you are implying.” Kaiba glanced around the room searching for the telltale flashing lights of a projector. “Did the technicians put you up to this?”

“The technicians?” Detective Shadi for the first time that night looked confused. “I can assure you that no one else has anything to do with this.”

Kaiba let out a small laugh. “Detective Shadi-”

“Shadi is fine.”

“Shadi, do not play games with me.” He let out another laugh. “You are in the building of the company that invented holographic technology with the person who developed most of its key functions. What did you think would happen? That I wouldn’t figure it out? The ability to record and respond in real time is fairly impressive, but there is literally no other plausible explanation.”

Shadi seemed to let out a sigh, though Kaiba understandably couldn’t hear the air exit his mouth. “I was hoping that it might get you to expand your definition of plausible, and it does often get people to think. You can check that I have not communicated with your technicians and, if there are any holographic projectors in this room, you will not find my image in any of their data banks. I am not a hologram.”

Kaiba reached out and passed his hand through Shadi’s form. The air there was surprisingly cool to the touch. Considering the amount of energy needed to produce a convincing image, holograms released plenty of residual heat. He narrowed his eyes. No better explanation presented itself. “And, what would you have me believe then?”

“What if…” Shadi paused a moment to consider his words carefully. “What if I were to say that there were things beyond the scientific. Things like magic, ghosts, and dragons. Things like vampires.”

“Well, it is a good thing you aren’t saying that,” Kaiba smirked, “because I would say that we were done talking, and I would leave so that you wouldn’t be able to waste anymore of my time. If you believe in that superstitious nonsense, then maybe you aren’t as competent as I thought.”

Shadi slowly blinked. He opened his mouth then closed it. He waited a moment before finally speaking. “I knew you were in denial when you reported the crime, but this seems like a bit much. Still, we have other things to talk about, the most important of which being your upcoming hospital visit. Before I let you go there, I need to ask: are you hungry?”

Kaiba was about to retort that the hospital and his stomach had nothing to do with each other, when he realized that he should be hungry but he wasn’t. In fact, he felt quite full. “No, but I haven’t ea-” A memory cut him off mid-word.  The taste. When he woke up there had been such a delicious, pleasant taste in mouth, which in the terror that followed he had completely forgotten about. He reached a hand up and touched his lips, and his eyelids fluttered for a moment. His mouth was watering at the mere memory. He swallowed his spit before correcting, “I don’t remember eating anything.” Questions buzzed in his brain. What had he eaten? How had he gotten a hold of it while by the dumpster? How had he forgotten? “Something must be wrong.”

“That actually is the answer I was hoping for, and I honestly didn’t expect anything else. I haven’t seen a scene like that in quite some time, but with va- people like you it can be hard to tell. There doesn’t appear to be a limit on how much you can eat, just after a certain point you don’t have to.” Shadi paused for a moment, and Kaiba narrowed his eyes. What the fuck was he talking about? Unfortunately, Shadi started talking again before Kaiba could vocalize his thoughts. “That, however, is neither here nor there. I ask because I have a contact in the hospital who would be willing to see you. She is a good person, and I have promised her not to send any trouble her way.”

“Wait. Back up. You said you were expecting that answer. That answer disturbs me, and I was the one who gave it.” Kaiba struggled to keep his voice down, but he was realizing why Shadi had asked the meeting to be private. He wouldn't have been able to stand random strangers hearing his own uncertainty. He only tolerated revealing it to Shadi because Shadi might have answers.

Shadi looked Kaiba in the eyes. “What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me the truth. You seem to have some idea about what is going on. Out with it.”

Shadi rolled his eyes. “The truth is irrelevant if you won’t believe it, though I promise you that I will not lie.  Could you ask a more specific question?”

Kaiba let an exasperated sigh slip between his lips and then grit his teeth. What would it take to get a clear-cut answer from this man? “Oh, let's see. Where should I start? Do you have any idea what that taste was? Why I don’t remember eating? Oh, god...” Another realization dawned on him. “I don’t even remember getting out of the dumpster…”

“For someone who has no idea what’s going on, you certainly cut straight to the heart of the situation, though the heart is the part your most likely to shut out. But, I will attempt to answer.” Shadi paused to think, and Kaiba waited still grinding his teeth together. “I will start with why you don’t remember because while it is definitely not simpler, it is easier. You don’t remember because I’m not entirely certain you were entirely there.  Your body was certainly present, but it was guided by an instinct, darkness, hunger so desperate it didn’t want conscious thought getting in the way-”

At this point, Kaiba couldn’t help himself. “Are you telling me what happened or trying to write a bad horror novel because at this point its hard to tell.”

The comment elicited a half a laugh out of Shadi. “Given your stubbornness, I can see why you might think that, but if this were fiction I can assure you that I would not be the one writing it. I am merely a messenger. One that hopes to tip the course of events, but you ultimately have control over where your story leads. Plus, are you denying that after spending four days in a dumpster, you would be hungry?”

“No,” Kaiba conceded, looking away. In fact, he remembered being absolutely ravenous, his hunger pains driven fiercer by the sound that shouldn’t exist, but he wasn’t going to give Shadi the satisfaction of saying that out loud. “Continue.”

“Jokes aside, consider my first warning: the hunger will come back. I cannot tell you how soon, but judging by the strength of the one who attacked you, I cannot say that you have long. When it comes back, it will start small and grow. It has already started to mess with your instincts, but it will try to make its desires yours.” As Shadi spoke, Kaiba rolled his eyes. The only reason he bit back a comment was that he remembered how strongly his hunger had pulled at his mind. “To call the hunger evil would be to give it a sense of morality that I do not think it has, but it will make you a danger to those around you, and, as I have said, you are responsible for your actions. You will have to find some resolution to this, and I do not have any clear-cut solutions to provide you. But, I believe someone with your resources and wit can figure something out.”

“You know I’d be able to take you more seriously if you weren’t describing a normal bodily process as if it were a malevolent spirit. I have worked through hunger before, and I can still eat.”

“This is not the hunger you are used to, and I wish I could say that simply ignoring it or pushing through it was the answer. It is not. If it grows too strong, it can and it will push you out of the way to fulfill its goals. You will also find that eating may be a bit more complicated.”

“Oooo, ominous,” Kaiba said waving his fingers through the air. “So, what about my first question?”

Shadi frowned. “There is still so much I have to tell you first, and this is definitely the harder of the two. I can’t have you storming off before I am done. I have decided to tell you that last. I understand that you think you want to know, but the truth has been staring you in the face, and you refuse to acknowledge it. So, let me give you my second warning.”

“I have listened to everything reasonable you’ve said,” Kaiba scowled. “I’ve even listened to some of the unreasonable things you’ve said. Tell me.”

“No. I will but not yet. Are you done throwing a fit?” Kaiba’s jaw dropped; he wasn’t throwing a fit. He just wanted answers. But, for once he did not have a snappy retort, and he simply glared. “Good. Because my next warning regards your own life.”

Kaiba perked up. “Does it have to do with the person who attacked me?”

“I see why you would be concerned about that, but that situation has been dealt with.”

“Dealt with how?” Kaiba raised an eyebrow. Detectives Wasseem and Ito certainly hadn’t had any idea about who had attacked him, and they had read his file. Suddenly their suspicions seemed a bit more well-founded. “I’m getting the sense that it wasn’t through entirely legal means.”  

“It is best to keep human institutions out of these affairs, and in fact my work with the department is a matter of convenience for that end. Instead the owner of the King’s Pendant has been notified and has taken action. Your attacker will be kept on a far tighter leash.” Shadi’s expression then hardened, and his voice somehow managed to turn more grim, “No, this concerns those who would strike you down not for what you have done but for what you are. Fortunately, you are not yet on their radar, and it would be better for you to keep it that way.”

“I’ve disgruntled many people, but the boy in the alleyway was the first attempt on my life,” Kaiba shrugged, “Why would they start caring now?” Despite his outward nonchalance, the threat against his own life did disturb him, especially so soon after he had already been attacked. The only question was whether the threat was real.

Shadi shook his head. “You misunderstand. They only care about what you are, not about what you were, and you have changed. And, do not underestimate them. They have taken on beasts far more dangerous than a handful of security guards, and even if you brought a few of them down with you, you are young and they are trained. You would lose. And, supposing that you didn’t, there are plenty in your company and this city who would not fare well should these people’s gaze fall in their direction.”

“You seem to know a lot about these murderers.” Shadi looked at the ground, and his form appeared to deflate. Hnn... Interesting. “Would there happen to be a reason for that?”

A few seconds passed before Shadi looked Kaiba directly in the eye and held the contact for a couple more moments. “I was, at one point, one of those people. So, believe me when I say that they are dangerous.”

“Fine.” Kaiba found it hard to believe there was a cabal of assassins ready to kill him because he’d felt a little weird since waking up, but Shadi certainly believed it. The regret in Shadi’s voice had been palpable, and considering how casually the man had talked about the scene in the parking garage, Kaiba did not take that regret lightly. “You said the best way to deal with these people was to stay off their radar. How would you suggest I do that?”

“Well, the simplest way would be to hide the changes and not to cause any undo instances, but unfortunately, your ignorance has caused you to fail on both accounts, and now we are stuck trying to clean up your mess.” A disapproving expression cast over Shadi’s face. “The hospital visit right now is the more pressing problem and where you could potentially mess things up even more. We are lucky that I have a contact who has agreed to help. She works at Memorial, which is a bit farther away than the Domino University Hospital, but it is worth the trip if we are going to do things right.”

“I presume this is the contact you mentioned earlier. The one you thought I’d bring trouble to if I were hungry.” Kaiba wrung his hands together. While he was ready to admit, at least to himself, that the hunger he’d experienced scared him, he had yet to see how it affected others.

Shadi nodded. “That is the one. She isn’t as embroiled in all this as you or I, and in fact, she would rather not become embroiled in any of it. She is placing a lot of trust in me by agreeing to this, and I would rather the trust not be misplaced.”

“And, why, pray tell,” Kaiba asked gesturing outward, “do I need to go to this contact of yours if she’s halfway across the city and all I’d bring her is trouble. Wouldn’t it be easier for both of us if I just went to the nearest emergency room, got checked over, and left for home? You said yourself that I should avoid any unnecessary trouble.” Kaiba didn’t honestly give a shit about this possibly non-existent ‘trouble’, but he was beginning to find that talking with Shadi was like an elaborate chess game.  In order to move forward and make progress towards getting home, in order to potentially uncover the grains of truth Shadi possessed, he would have to sacrifice some points and pieces.

“Heaven forbid.” Shadi immediately put his fingertips together and glanced upward. “That would be the quickest way to scare the doctors, cause a commotion, and attract the exact people I’m warning you about.”

“I’m sure the doctors can handle a simple check-up. It's not like people haven’t been assaulted in this city before.” As he spoke the words, Kaiba had no doubt that Shadi would disagree; Shadi saw danger in every corner of this situation. Still, Kaiba couldn’t help but flaunt the absurdity of everything as he attempted to uncover which dangers were real. “Why wouldn’t these trained medical professionals be able to handle a case like mine?”

Shadi opened his mouth as if he were about to scream out a proclamation, but before the words could exit his mouth he closed it again. He glared at Kaiba before finally speaking, “Yes, people have been assaulted in this city before, and some here have likely been assaulted in the way that you have as well. But, when people survive such assaults it is usually because their attacker willed it, and when they wake up they have somebody to tell them why what your suggesting is such a horrifically bad idea. Anyone can tell that you’re paler than you should be, and Detective Wasseem immediately noticed you weren’t giving off the right amount of body heat. You can’t possibly think the doctors won’t notice your lack of pulse-”

“Of course I have a pulse. I’m alive,” Kaiba snapped.

“Not entirely,” Shadi immediately responded. “And, if you think that my family or anyone like them has one iota of respect for patient confidentiality in cases like yours, you are sadly mistaken. In my time, we kept our ear to the ground for the slightest trace of people like you, people we deemed dangerous, and I have absolutely no doubt that they continue to do so. And, despite the myths, we weren’t trapped in the past. In recent years, they likely have added a digital component to cast their net even wider, so we can’t afford even leaving a trace there. There are risks that I do not want to take.”

Kaiba had taken a few steps back from Shadi, his mind still reeling from Shadi’s earlier comment. Of course he was alive. He wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t alive. Clearly whatever veneer of sensibility Shadi had was starting to crumble. Maybe Shadi’s head was just swimming with conspiracy theories and there was no threat against his life.                                                                                      

But, a voice at the back of Kaiba’s head reminded him that whether or not Shadi was right about this, Shadi had been right about other things. Shadi knew about the hunger that had ripped through his brain. Shadi knew that he had eaten… something.  Shadi was the first to bring up that something was wrong with him. Hell, other details from Shadi’s story lined up. The King’s Pendant probably referenced he gaudy pyramid Yugi had taken to wearing around his neck, and his attacker’s words, ‘my partner would not approve’ echoed through Kaiba’s mind. How exactly Yugi could keep that boy on any sort of leash was beyond Kaiba’s imagination, but the two did seem connected. No, as much as he wanted to totally dismiss Shadi’s ramblings, he couldn’t.                                                                                                                                                                        Hoping to prove Shadi wrong, Kaiba put his thumb against his wrist. He felt nothing. A frown creased his face, and he moved his thumb to another position. Still nothing. Tch. Maybe he was just bad at this.

“You aren’t going to find anything.”

Kaiba shot Shadi a glare and moved his thumb again. “Shut up... It’s probably just weak.”

Shadi let out another breathless sigh. “Will you at least visit my contact? Her name is Dr. Ena Uramoto.”

It would be physically impossible for him not to have a pulse; he could hardly count this something Shadi got right. But, it did give him pause. “Fine. But, she better not have any problems with…” Kaiba didn’t want to come out to this stranger, but while Shadi was concerned about him bringing the doctor trouble, he needed to know that it wouldn’t be the other way around. He needed to make sure the doctor would remain objective, actually tell him if he was ok, and help him if he wasn’t.

Shadi stared at him expectantly. Kaiba glanced down. There was a chance Shadi had already noticed. He certainly hadn’t mentioned anything, and Kaiba couldn’t tell what sort of sign that was. “Gender. Hormones... Doctors tend to get a bit distracted.”

Shadi blinked and considered it. “That hasn’t been an issue in the past, but it has never come up, and things would be better if this went as smoothly as possible. I could pass a message before you get there.”

Well, that went better than expected. Still, if he didn’t know- and frankly Kaiba understood that he had had no previous reason to know- it made deciding what to do moving forward. He would rather be the one to tell her, to tell anyone, but at the same time, something to keep the doctor in line would be nice…

“I am not sure what would help in this situation, but I am fully capable of being cryptic.”

Kaiba laughed. Well, that certainly was true. “Tell her to focus on the situation at hand and to remember what is actually relevant. And, you better not tell anyone about this.”

Shadi shrugged, “I don’t see how its anyone’s business. There are more important things in the world to worry about.” Those were some of the truest words Shadi had uttered all evening.

“Now that that’s out of the way, what can she do that the rest of the medical community can’t?”

“Nothing,” Shadi plainly stated, “except agree to falsify your records.”

That certainly wasn’t the answer Kaiba was expecting; with the way Shadi had been talking this woman up, Kaiba had hoped she would be able to do something… more. “So, I won’t be able to find out whats wrong with me? They won’t be able to fix it?”

“The medical community certainly wouldn’t be able to help you,” Shadi shook his head, “and the only thing that can help is opening your mind and listening. Listen to what I’m telling you. Listen to your body and what it needs but stop yourself from following through with what it wants. The more you listen, and I mean actually listen and not judge what you are hearing based on preconceptions, the more obvious what is happening will become. And, you will see that there is no going back. What is happening to you is one of the open secrets of the world, mixed with baseless rumor but the kernel holds true. You should be able to piece it together.  Going to the hospital to figure that out would be pointless.”

Wonderful advice from somebody who clearly never had to doubt their senses. Letting go of preconceptions. Ha. That was letting go of reality. But, he would never let a stranger like Shadi know that.

Another worry began to tug at his mind, and he fiddled with the edge of his sleeve. The idea that whatever was happening wouldn’t go away and he wouldn’t be able to seek help for other reasons bothered him. He would eventually need another testosterone prescription, and it was bad enough that he missed the past four days. But, he would cross that bridge when he came to it. He had already used the resources at his disposal to start a year earlier than recommended; he could figure this out in time. Now, he would focus on present concerns, “Why even bother then. I’d be more than happy to head directly home. It’s been a long enough night.”

“The promise of the hospital record was the only thing that got the detectives to leave. I mentioned that truthful hospital records would attract the wrong sort of attention. So will a detailed investigation of your little crime scene. I will try to clean that mess up, to muddy the waters, cause some things to be misplaced, but with the crime already on official record, I won’t be able to completely erase it. They still might try to get a warrant for that information, and their suspicion at not finding anything would chafe at my charms.”

“And, what an abundance of those you have,” Kaiba laughed. Shadi was certainly an intriguing fellow but he was far too stoic to be labeled charming. Kaiba supposed that it would be a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, but at least he knew people hated him. “Still, I know you said your work with the department was out of convenience, but aren’t you supposed to figure out who murdered those people, help solve the case and catch the culprit. I’d prefer that myself”

Shadi did not respond for a long moment. “Are you sure about that? You wont like the answer.”

“So you already know what happened? Now why isn’t that surprising anymore?” Kaiba rolled his eyes. What could be worse than being on the hit list of a ridiculously strong homicidal boy and potentially being a target for a group of trained killers just for somehow surviving? He may not like the answer, but its not like things could get much worse. He uneasily leaned away from Shadi. No, the situation was bad enough as was. “Yes, I want to know who did it, and for that matter, I want to know how you solved it so quickly, considering it just happened, and the other detectives seemed quite confused.”

“Its not exactly subtle, so saying that one could solve it would be a bit of an overstatement. Anybody who has any idea how the world works would know what happened there. But, I suppose there is no point in delaying any longer; it is time for me to tell you.” Shadi took a few steps forward, closing the gap that Kaiba had widened. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” Kaiba gestured wildly outward in frustration, and his hand passed through the cool air where Shadi stood. “I said yes already.”

Shadi again paused for a bit. “You asked earlier what you ate. Well, the remains of your meal would have been scattered around you when you woke up.” What was he talking about? The only food that had been in the area was rotting in the garbage. “In fact, the hunger would have given you back control not too long after it had its fill, so it is likely you would have been facing the last thing you ate from.” No, the thing he had been facing was a dead body. “Considering one of them had more of… your new food visible, I can guess which one it was you ate last.” Kaiba’s face contorted in confusion. Shadi wasn’t making any sense or rather less sense than usual. Shadi looked at him and shook his head. “What did you think the holes were for? One set to puncture down to the food, another to maintain grip while you fed-”

“No!” Kaiba yelled, his voice echoing throughout the lobby. Arnold’s footsteps started to approach. “That’s impossible. Things like that don’t exist. I could never...”

Shadi pursed his lips. “That’s the truth, and its a truth you need to accept. Now are you going to call off your dog, or do we have to end this conversation here?”

“I don’t see any reason to continue it with you spouting this nonsense.” Kaiba scowled. He backed away from Shadi.

“Hence, me saving this for last.” Shadi’s form started to shift and bend, before specks started floating away like sand caught on the wind. His body- the hologram depicting his body- started to disintegrate. “My family would believe you too dangerous to exist. Please do not prove them right.” After finishing those words the pace of the disintegration quickened and by the time Arnold and his tuh-thub turned the corner, Shadi was gone.

“Oh, it seems like you’re alright.” Arnold looked at Kaiba then around like a lost puppy. “Where’s the creepy guy?”

Kaiba stared at the space where he had seen Shadi a moment before. “Gone, though I don’t think he was ever really here. Tell Jun Liu when he gets back to check to see if anyone tampered with the holographic projector systems.”

“Huh, that would be weird,” Arnold mused. “I mean, why go through all that trouble? What could they possibly accomplish? Showing something cool could at least be done for its own sake, but this?”

Kaiba shot Arnold a glare and started walking towards the main lobby. He did not want to engage in small talk with anyone let alone with a low-level security guard. As he passed by, he caught a whiff of Arnold’s scent. He had before caught that the security guard was healthy, but now he could sense other overtones. There was something almost sore about the smell as if Arnold pushed himself too far, but it also reminded Kaiba of new growth and life. It drew him in for a moment, but then Kaiba shook his head. Focus. “Not as weird as half the nonsense that came out of his mouth. Is the driver ready to go?”

“Yes. He’s waiting over there.” Arnold gestured around the pillar of elevators to the main lobby.

When Kaiba rounded the corner though, he did not see his usual driver. “Isono, you do realize I have people I pay specifically to drive me places?”

That elicited a small chuckle, but it wasn’t fullhearted. “Yes, but you’ve been missing for sometime, and I gave specific instructions to be one of the first people contacted should you return. I hear you need to be taken to the hospital; are you ok? You do look a little sick.”

“Better than I was earlier, but… I don’t exactly feel like myself.”

Isono nodded. “Jun Liu did mention you were attacked, and that you were a bit of a mess when you came back. Its only expected that you wouldn’t feel your best. Have you been having any of your problems?”

Isono was one of the few people who knew about his hallucinations, one of the few people he trusted not to hold them against him. Numerous times Isono had been with him and stabilized him during an attack, guided him back to reality, and helped him ignore what wouldn’t go away. “Yes. It was the worst right after my attacker knocked me out, and...” Kaiba glanced around, and was glad to see that Arnold was still far away on the other side of the lobby. “I’ve been hearing things and smelling things that I shouldn’t.  There was a false tremor in the bathroom, and my reflection was dark, twisted, and not right.”

Kaiba remembered the enlarged canines, the fangs, in the mirror, and he remembered Shadi’s final comments. No, it couldn’t be real. He passed his tongue across his teeth. It wasn’t real.

Meanwhile, Isono nodded and closed his eyes for a long moment before opening them, and then Kaiba closed his eyes in an extended blink as well. The action was something small that Isono had come up with to remind Kaiba that he was there, especially because Kaiba did not like being touched during normal times let alone during the middle of a brainweird episode. Kaiba would return the gesture to acknowledge receiving it. During those seconds of darkness, Kaiba focused on the rhythmic thumping in Isono’s chest. He knew he shouldn’t be hearing it, but it comforted him anyways.

“Do you want to say what you have been hearing and smelling?”

Kaiba scoffed. “It doesn’t deserve the words it would take to acknowledge it.”

Isono hummed in affirmation and gestured at the large glass doors behind him. “Shall we go then? We will have time to discuss business and family on the way there.” Isono passed him the reports that Arnold had brought down from his office.

“We will have plenty of time because we are headed to the Memorial Clinic,” Isono shot Kaiba a questioning gaze as they both started to exit the building. “One of the detectives suggested I see somebody there, and while I am not inclined to believe him on everything, he made a few convincing arguments.” Shadi was a superstitious crackpot, but he was at least a superstitious crackpot trying to help. Kaiba got the firm impression that he came from a whole family of hostile superstitious crackpots that were willing to act on their beliefs. So soon after being attacked by someone else, Kaiba decided to play it cautious.

As he walked toward the car parked outside, his thumb passed over the inside of his wrist.

They talked about many things on the way to the hospital. Mokuba had been given the past two days off of school because of Kaiba’s disappearance, and though his brother had been attempting to hold it together, Isono could see that the waiting was getting to him. Stock prices had taken an immediate hit upon the announcement of Kaiba’s disappearance, which was making the Big Five, who owned the majority of the stock not already in Kaiba’s hands, antsy. The company had, however, been able to survive the past few days, the day to day operations carrying on without him. A few key projects had made progress and wanted his input, though Isono assured that the projects could wait until everything else settled.

Kaiba’s mind drifted, and he asked about the what had happened with one of the previously completed projects. Isono still hadn’t heard news of Industrial Illusions releasing a new game, though they had recently ordered the installation a large batch of the related hardware. A pity. The demo his team had worked with had actually been quite intriguing.

When they reached the hospital, Isono fiddled with the rear view mirror, and Kaiba saw his still horrible reflection shift and jiggle with the movement. “Is something wrong?”

Isono looked back at him for a moment before finally leaving the mirror be. “Nothing, sir. It’s probably just a trick of the light.”

Author’s Note: It took me four chapters but finally someone has uttered the v-word (Kaiba you know what he’s talking about, you’ve even recognized the similarity before. You are allowed to put the word to the thought.) 

Also, I am not planning on having a Trans Broken Arm Syndrome thing appear during the hospital visit. Dealing with that would be too real, and in any case, as I am not transitioning. I haven’t had to deal as much with that sort of thing myself, and I do not feel like I would do the topic justice. However, I did think it was something important enough to acknowledge as something that Kaiba would be worried about and would want to take precautions against.

That said, Kaiba is going to find that there are other reasons now why hospital visits could go wrong.

I mention Kaiba starting hormones early since when looking up when hormones could be started I got a lot of info that at least in the US the recommended age is 16... which is around Kaiba’s age now (apparently zombiekaiba has a good post on ages here, and I am going primarily with anime conventions. Things are a little bit... out of order to make room for what I want to do, but I envision this happening at the start of 11th grade (so its April) and Kaiba is thus 16 years old and 6 months. [Also this has been revised for future chapters. It is not April but January]

And that just got to me thinking about Kaiba’s relation to hormones, and I realized that 1) when he knows he wants something (and even when he doesn’t) he can be quite impatient. Methodical, but impatient, so he definitely would not like being told that he had to wait for something that he knew he wanted, especially with eveyrone else undergoing puberty without him. He would find that entirely unacceptable. I don’t blame him. 2) He would have the resources to do something about it. That is going to be touched on in the next chapter in an interesting way.

Finally, the idea of hunters is not going to be picked up soon (beyond maybe you should keep this under wraps), but I do have an idea of how it would be picked up again if this continued onto the fifth arc. I’m not sure if I’ll get there [that is a lot of story], but it does fit into things more broadly.

Again, always feel free to tell me if I need more content warnings. 

#yugioh #ygo #seto kaiba #shadi #isono #mentions of halucinations #mentions of cissexism #referenced canonical suicide #fanfic #fic: adjusting to the dark #orgnpst #attd content

[condomglitter]

“You’re a part of my family.” //austerre - FUCK ME UP PLEASE.

  @austerre​   EAT SOME FEELS you asked for this

        Family.     What a foreign concept.

     She knew what one was, of course – she wasn’t stupid. She had seen it in commercials, in movies and shows… and, briefly, when she visited the Werners, and other childhood friends. Yet, she had never quite known how it felt. Without the resentment and the blame, without having to beg for a love that seemed to others so freely given. So it made sense, then, that she had not noticed that feeling when it blossomed within her heart. 

     Poring over homework with Mokuba as they waited for Seto to come home, laughing on Sunday mornings as she and the elder Kaiba returned from their jog to find the dark haired boy making a delicious mess of the kitchen – they were moments she should have recognized from the weeks she had spent with Bryna and her brood of so many children, and yet, it had never quite occurred to her. Not until it was already true, so undeniable that it hardly needed saying. 

     They were a family. Not by blood, not all of them, but even still – a family. 

     No one quite called it so, though. Not when Natalie was given permission to pick Mokuba up from school, in lieu of their traitorous bodyguard. Not when she urged Seto into following chocolate eggs around the house, in search of where she’d hidden his laptop and other work items that could wait an hour for Easter to be had. Not even quite when the interior decorator dubbed her the lady of the house. Seto hadn’t corrected him, but it wasn’t the same as hearing it from his lips, as she did now. 

     She hadn’t expected to be included in the photograph, meant to hang above the mantle – she had organized the photographer and even set Seto upon the path of having some less posturing photos taken – but not once had she considered the possibility of herself being included in but a few, perhaps candid, shots. It was a portrait for the Kaiba mansion, after all, destined to loom in view of the select few who were allowed to visit. So, she thought, it was meant to contain only the Kaiba’s within it’s frame. Which was why, as the photographer and her assistants bustled about the room, readying the shot, she settled herself tidily out of everyone’s way. 

     She’d been focused on reviewing the schedule for the day when she had heard Seto’s footsteps approaching, notably clipped in comparison to Mokuba’s rolling gait. Sharp and sure, as with everything else he did, he stopped before her with a questioning expression that she had not been expecting. 

     “Sir?” She blinked, closing the calendar on her phone and lowering it beside her on the chaise. Quite frankly, at this point, she was as confused as he seemed to be - both because of the oddity of his tearing his focus away from the task at hand, but also because of the strange look upon his face. “Do you…need something?”     “Why are you sitting all the way over here?” She still couldn’t identify the odd note in his voice - had it been any other situation, she would have called it hurt, but… why would he have anything to be hurt about, here? In a different person, she perhaps would have wondered if he was nervous, but… that wasn’t possible.     She’d never seen Seto nervous in her life.

     “Well, I can’t be over there. The photographer is setting up the lights, and I most certainly don’t want to get in the way of that.” She chuckled and rose from her seat, abandoning her phone on the cushion in favor of busying her hands with his tie. The knot was impeccable, but she still fussed, straightening it and smoothing the broad silk swatch that rested upon his chest. “I’m just checking the e-mails to make sure that everything is running smoothly at the office. Something you said that you would leave to me, you know.”     That had to be it. He wanted her near so he could micro-manage and work from home, which was far more believable than him being NERVOUS. She was quite pleased with her deduction and tutted to herself, treating him to a teasing grin as she let her hands fall away from his front.     “There’s nowhere I can sit where you can read the e-mails and be in the photo, Seto, so don’t bother trying. Go on. They’ll be showing you options on where to sit, soon.”

     His brows furrowed at her words, though not with their usual half amused annoyance. It was confusion, paired with annoyance, and… still, that strange something that she couldn’t quite name. That brought her own confusion back to the forefront of her mind, and she struggled to sort out what, exactly, it was that he wanted from her. 

     “We’re taking family photos.” His tone was short, but still some semblance of patient, as if he were trying very hard to explain something to her. Their usual seamless communication was clearly lacking in this moment, though, as she found herself staring dumbly (and with no small amount of sarcasm) back at him. 

     “Well I’m glad you read the schedule, at least. Would you like me to take some on my phone, and upload them to your social media? I thought it would be better to send a few we chose to the PR department and let them decide which ones – “     “Natalie.” Her full name from his lips in such an exasperated tone was more than enough to make her stop, and turn away from where she’d been reaching for her phone. His hands reached forth to clasp hers gently within them, urging her to face him properly once more, as if that hadn’t been what she was doing in the first place. She had meant to ask him outright what was wrong, and what he wanted, but the look on his face stole those words from her lips, and left her without breath. 

     Even she, privy to the sides of Seto Kaiba that few within the world were able to see, rarely saw such a tender vulnerability on the CEO’s face. It was hurt that she had seen, though she had no idea what it was that she had said to make his face crumple so. At least, he seemed to see this, squeezing her hands and offering her a soft smile. Not the sort that promised cold amusement at someone else’s impending punishment, but the kind that was touched by a tired chuckle, as if he couldn’t quite believe she was this dense.

     “We’re taking family pictures.” He repeated, his voice low as he bowed his head downward, until his forehead but hovered an inch away from resting against the ginger curls that crowned her forehead. This time, she didn’t interrupt him with her own quips or queries, instead soothed to silence as his thumbs circled gently upon the backs of her hands as he seemed to search carefully for his next words. After a moment of silence loaded with everything he could have said, he decided simply upon the words that struck her - truly - at her core.

     “You’re a part of my family.“ He whispered, finally lowering his forehead to hers and resting it there, yet not moving closer for a kiss. “It wouldn’t be right if you weren’t in them with us.”

     Her stunned silence had to have brought back the hurt from before, which she now understood came from a fear of… rejection. He made it quite clear as he searched her eyes imploringly, regret threatening to swallow him whole as a tone entered his voice that she doubted any had heard since he’d been first adopted by their vicious so-called ‘father’.     “Do you… not want to?” 

     She could hear him begging for the answer to be anything but that fearsome rejection, and couldn’t even find it in herself to believe such a fear ridiculous. She could hardly blame him, after all, when she herself had not the nerve to admit or ask of what this life was called. Mokuba, him, and herself…     A family…

     “Oh… Oh, I – I didn’t realize –“      Why was he blurry? Dear GOD, were those… were her eyes watering? Goddess above, they were – threatening to turn into true and real tears, her dark eyes were welling despite what she could only call happiness in her heart, a phenomenon she didn’t quite understand. Furious with herself for it, she lifted one hand and pressed it against her eyes, only further deepening the confusion in Seto’s face. He didn’t seem to quite know if he should apologize, or not, standing frozen in front of her like a terrified statue. He need not have worried, though – and despite her inability to find the words to explain that, at first, she tried to tell him so by leaning up on tip-toe to press her lips against his. 

     “I would love to be in the photos.” She whispered, unable to stop herself from smiling – even if she was mortified at having cried (for no reason, too!) and even if she was certain that at least one of the other people in the room was watching them, she was grinning and blushing like a tittering school girl. How could she stop, though, with such a lightness in her chest? Her lungs felt like they would expand out of her, and her entire body felt as if it could float. 

     He didn’t need more acceptance than that, from her, gently swiping away the wetness from her eyes with two steady thumbs and offering her yet another rare smile of his own. Only once he was certain that she had collected herself did he pull her gently forward, returning to the awaiting chaise with her hand held within his steady, reassuring grip. For a photo that, to the surprise of the photographer (and all who saw it, really) contained more smiles than really expected in the austere manor. 

     A part of the family… Who could have thought ?

#❧|| ʟᴇssᴏɴs ʟᴇᴀʀɴᴇᴅ ;; asks #austerre #❧|| ᴄᴀsᴛɪɴɢ sᴘᴇʟʟs ;; ic #❧|| ᴘʀᴏᴍᴏᴛᴇᴅ ;; assistant #❧|| ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ;; kaiba #i hope this sufficient for your fuck me up needs uvu