#and today's insanity fueled me through the whole process xD

[theladyyavilee]

for @diazactually, because I love youuu 💕 part i | part ii

‘I watch him in the kitchen. I think of how much it hurts to love somebody. How deep the hurt is, how almost unbearable. It’s not the love that hurts; it’s the possibility of anything happening to the object of your love.’       Augusten Burroughs || Magical Thinking

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#9-1-1 #buddie #911 edit #911edit #buddie edit #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan buckley edit #eddie diaz edit #911 abc #911onabc #tw blood #my edit #I have been thinking about making a second set with this quote but this time from eddie's pov for a few days #and today's insanity fueled me through the whole process xD #I am still obsessed with this quote (thank you arah!) because it is just SOOOO buddie coded and makes me want to claw at the walls #love is stored in the kitchen <3 #arah 🤭🤺 #as always it was a pleasure making an angsty edit for you xD <3 #in other news: in making this edit today I learned that buck dangling from the ladder makes for as good an edit base as eddie's pool of #blood from 4x13 <333 #love that for me <3

[fallxnprxnce]

What is something that was never addressed at all in the canon material that you have independently developed for your muse?

Whathe does with his free time. Normal, everyday, non-ass-kicking Nuada, heh. Iwanted to know the elf behind the story of Hellboy II. The elf beyond thatstory. Outside of it. Before it. Potentially after it. In spite of it. Becauseof it. I wanted to know who he really is, not merely judge him based on the verylimited and subjective lens I got to see him through.

Seriously,we only got to see Nuada when he was fighting, antagonizing, taunting, orotherwise interacting with enemies or sisters he was mad at, haha. Except… forthe brief scenes where we see him with Mr. Wink in the beginning and then later in some place that to me looks like it was atleast a temporary home when those little creatures I then dubbed bark childrencame to tell him that Wink was dead. I drew… more… from those scenes… thananybody probably should draw from anything, haha.

Wesee him in the latter scene working on the incubator for the forest god’s seed, andsome might say welp… he had to get that done to kick Hellboy’s ass. I saw itdifferently. I immediately got the sense that this is something he does in hisspare time, perhaps for fun, and perhaps to relax him. It’s a hobby… fixingthings, making things, working with his hands. That he happened to be repairingthis forest god’s little house at the time he hears news of Mr. Wink’s demise Ithink is just a coincidence then that he later decides to use it. He probablythought what can I do to get my point across. Well hey, there’s this thing Ijust fixed right in front of me, heh, let’s use that. But anyway… it got me thinking that yeah,he’s three-dimensional being with interests and hobbies. It’s not all aboutrevenge and death for Nuada.

…itcan’t be. He’s an elf, and I am a full subscriber to the idea that elves can bemade sick, can be driven insane, and can even die from their own intenseemotions. If life was nothing but anger and sadness and regret and death and fightingfor Nuada…. he would’ve made himself sick ages ago. Some would say then… oh buthe was. His coloration was indicative of “corruption,” del Toro said. Yes, Iknow. And I agree. But that to me means he only got this extreme in maybe thepast few decades. There is no way he could have maintained that level of volatilenegative emotion for millenia.

…whichthen got me thinking that he was not always this way. He must have tried totalk to humans at various points in history. He must have explored many otheroptions, had his moments of doubt, wavered in his convictions for one reason oranother, many many times before arriving at this “kill them all” conclusion.Why do I say that? Because Nuada is a passionate elf of action. If he wantedhumans dead centuries ago, they would be so, heh. Or he’d be dead from havingtried it.

Soif his whole life was not 100% death and destruction and negative emotions, hemust like things, love things, do other things with his time? I started tofreeze-frame various parts of the training scene and the scene where he learnsof Wink’s death, taking in all the carvings, symbols, glass containers, potsand utensils, tools and weapons, the cooking area, the blacksmith’s area, thefire pit, the scaffold near the large wall carving, the cups and bowls, thelarge chest….. everything….. and I just started to piece together the life ofan elf separated from his people, alone with his thoughts and with nothing but timemost often, going through this journey of his alone. The very few friends hemakes along the way he would value greatly. The hobbies he dabbles in wouldbecome honed skills. He would collect things, make things, read things fromcultures and places that he loved, keeping mementos of his experiences. All ofthis I extracted like teeth out of those scenes heh, letting the items I saw fuel my inspiration and creative process as a fantasy writer.

Themovie left him as a villain or anti-hero without much airtime and we got tolook through a tiny porthole with frosted glass for only a few seconds at theplethora of intricately detailed and colored facets that make up Nuada’spersonality and life. I did the literary equivalent of taking a picture that lookedlike vaseline had been slathered onto a camera lens, put it in photoshop, andupped the sharpness of it, heh. I wanted details. I needed them. And there weren’t many, so I made them the hell up... because I could. XD

Nuada is a warrior with a misguided purpose, but hewas also an elf, an ancient being, a son, a brother, he was once a child, anadolescent, he was once idealistic and naïve… and all of these things made himwho he was today. Part of the fun of writing him was learning who the elfbehind the movie villain was. I wanted to know uncensored, unscripted Nuada,haha. Behind the scenes Nuada, lol. Because I wanted the people I wrote with to really feellike they were going further into that amazing world and lore that Guillermodel Toro created.

{Disclaimer:No I do not think I have skills like del Toro. But I aspire to, heh. So I gaveit my best try. ^_^}