#and until god DOES that then all three of em are CHUMPS

[majorasnightmare]

from one mineru lover to another ... can i pleek hear the headcanons you have for her

KICKS DOWN DOOR

YES ABSOLUTELY

some loose context for the headcanons i have for her

the zonai hail from the silent realm and formed 3 major settlements originating from the decaying trial gates, one in the sky islands, one in faron, and one below in the depths (using the eldin gate that had since been buried under hyrules changing landscape). by the time of totks ancient era, the zonai had been slowly and steadily migrating back to the silent realm with mineru and rauru being the last to stay

hailing from the silent realm, the zonai culturally place a massive emphasis on self betterment through trials, self inflicted or otherwise, as a way of marking time through growth, in service to the goddesses

im using the oot elements, so the gerudo get spirit (which manifests as lightning) and mineru gets shadow, linking her to the sheikah and the technology theyll create

rauru and ganondorf are exes who had an EXTREMELY messy breakup before rauru founded hyrule

i can elaborate on that more (and will later) but for NOW

MINERU

so i headcanon mineru as this character thats deeply atheistic and autistic. which doesnt make a lick of sense until i explain it further lmao

mineru, to me, is this person thats deeply materialist, whereas her brother rauru is deeply idealist, and sonia is a staunch spiritualist (which is why her and rauru make such a good match for each other). minerus primary concern is The Real. the golden goddesses are Concretely Real but their influence is negligible. mineru grows up in a culture that dedicates themselves to spiritual self growth through trials of self betterment for, ostensibly, the sake of three goddesses no one will ever see or talk to or be touched by. they exist, surely, because the triforce exists, because their power exists, but mineru will never see them, hear them, talk to them, touch them, or see their hands mold reality. in every aspect she would care about, They Are Not Real. and so ascribing to a cultural norm of "betterment through trial" (needless struggle and self doubt) just. doesnt click for her. why chase spiritual enlightenment when theres shit to do RIGHT here?

shes this kind of gruff, non social person who nonetheless cares deeply and intensely but wants to dedicate her effort and energy to things she considers important. her brothers important. her work is important. vague divine approval? unimportant. shes more concerned with how things tick than the Grand Plan of it all.

a lot of this makes itself manifest in her role (in my headcanons and aus) as the sage of shadow, if you understand shadow as Unseen (Concealed) Truth. why do the islands float? how does zoanite work? what can we do with this energy? what can we make? how can we build on it? shadow magic, imo, requires a strong thread of creativity. its what makes OoTs shadow temple so brutal and the history behind it so heinous. but it isnt inherently bad. its creativity, imagination, the Unreal. its the drawing of a curtain and the throwing it aside. this underlying current, the need to understand How and Why, is what makes minerus cutscenes with this understanding so much more enjoyable to me.

mineru is this character defined by her inventions, whos headpiece mirrors the goggles purah and robbie wear, whos role as shadow, the creator the inventer the counterculture, will be revisited when the sheikah create technological wonders that will spread throughout hyrule. she makes a mech to house her soul to survive the thousands of years into the future. whereas other sages choose a successor, mineru says "youll see me there in the temple my damn self." because if you want something done right you do it yourself!

i headcanon mineru and rauru as hailing from the sky island zonai civilization, and theyre the last hyrule dwelling generation. she grew up watching these senseless tests of courage that just risked major injury for no good reason, and then her baby brother goes off to better himself because he wants to make a meaningful impact in the world, and it just cascades into a dominos of bad decisions. she doesnt put any stock into divine intervention because the only people who can save anything are us. i picture her being endlessly fascinated by her home and the constructs and that curiosity being the foundation for a lot of what she does from there on out. becoming a fantasy mechanic, an inventor, getting down into the nitty gritty of a machine and getting covered in grime and oil but not caring because theres a problem that needs fixing and she has a wrench. voraciously tearing into any book she can find, any historical record, being this treasure trove of information and trivia and history because she cant help but come back to those questions, how?, why?, again and again.

itd be easy to hear her described as anti social and gruff, and see her interpreted as a little standoffish and blunt, and end up viewing her as kind of an ass, and you wouldnt be wrong per se but its really just that mineru only really puts effort into a relationship she cares about, and she really REALLY pro cons that shit. her first and foremost concern is rauru, her little brother, and as the zonai migrate back to the silent realm, her last remaining family. when rauru descends to the surface in search of problems to fix and Be Of Help, mineru correctly assesses his budding relationship with the gerudo royal is one fated for disaster, because nothing good comes from entering a relationship just to "fix them" regardless of how well intentioned and kind hearted you may be. because of this she doesnt invest much into getting to know ganondorf as he interacts with her brother, because shes expecting it to blow up and doesnt want any of that blowback. nevertheless when that comes to a head in the WORST possible way (a situation in the au that results in the creation of the gibdo queen, the first blood moon, the deaths of several gerudo guards and the eventual deaths of koume and kotake, a situation that will then contribute to The TotK situation) mineru beats herself up every day for not being more involved. her brother is sweet, and truly believes in the ideals of the zonai he was raised with, that to struggle is to overcome trial and better ones self, and such an effort is a spiritual responsibility of those hailing from the silent realms, created by divine hands, because of the power theyre capable of wielding. she cant fault him for that, because rauru IS capable of great good and he WANTS to help people so bad, but as mineru surmised years earlier, when your inundated with this concept that You Have Power and your Obligated To Use It, you never stop to think that maybe you arent the best person to solve this issue. you cant use a wrench for a screwdrivers issue. and knowing that, knowing rauru is driven to help but too inexperienced to know what he CAN help with, mineru feels responsible for not stopping him from biting off more than he can chew. (rauru, on his end, solely blames himself)

so shes a bit More Present when he meets sonia and when his idealism leads him to found hyrule, she stays close, but she really can NOT be assed to be dragged into politics because jesus christ. no. but she continues to be like. Peak Older Sister. every time rauru has a problem, shes the one he turns to. every time rauru wants advise, he asks mineru. he loves her a lot and relies on her guidance because he considers her one of the smartest people he knows (she is, along with sonia) and even though most of the time its rauru once again trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, theyve basically been abandoned by the rest of their people (who have written hyrule off as this kind of Fun Ordeal but Not Worth It as they go on being fucking. philosopher kings in a realm of Eternal Silent Trial where you can freely perfect whatever magic bullshit you want without worry of a body count or, ya know, consequences because very little is physically tangible there). mineru isnt going to like. continue that trend, and just leave rauru to it. hes a grown adult for sure, but that just means its his responsibility to grow and change as a person, not that he cant ask for help. especially because she doesnt want him to handle everything alone

so shes hands off with the hyrule business, and plus sonias got a good head on her shoulders, shes a nice balance to raurus Impulsive Do Gooding and helps him move from individual action to Systemic Good (tho that in itself is another one of Raurus Bad Impulsive Ideas because founding a Divine Kingdom of Good is a fools errand). and for the most part mineru is fairly assured that it wont blow up too horribly (*loud incorrect buzzer*) but man. when they show up with zelda.

so raurus very much a "im divinely obligated to help people" and sonias v much a "fate ordained our meeting" type and mineru is very very much Not That. but zelda? zelda is so much closer in personality to mineru, so when rauru and sonia show up with this girl from the future that theyve basically adopted, minerus like "alright you are once again Back On Your Bullshit so im NOT getting Into It" AND YETTT. zelda ALSO cant stop asking how? and why? (because light and shadow are closer than most people think), and zeldas so invested in what makes this tech work, how it functions, what makes it go, and while rauru and sonia try to give zelda the best they can, zeldas also similarly thrilled to get her fancy white dress all gunked up with oil cuz theres a plug that needs reconnecting and mineru cant get her hand thru the gap. they get on like a house on fire and despite herself mineru loves zelda. absolutely adores her. which was NOT on todays to do list, for sure. and so despite herself mineru is now including zelda in her (very small) circle of family and similarly mineru is this gruff no nonsense figure zelda can earnestly talk to whos similarly concerned with the Real and the Practical and how it can be applied to solve our problems instead of omens chasing and prophecy fulfilling. which is why mineru goes out of her way to help zelda in a way she generally doesnt for sonia because well. zeldas basically her niece. and sonia can handle herself. and also zelda loves hearing about weird programming quirks in the constructs. so its really just kind of inevitable

but minerus pursuit of knowledge is why she knows about draconification (and rauru doesnt), and why rauru comes to her for help because thats kind of his habit. its a lot like asking big sis to beat bowser for you cuz you cant get it, and like she clowns on you for it but still takes the controller.

and when rauru and sonia are like "the ganondorf situation is Our Problem and we arent involving zelda" mineru is 100% behind that because uhh YEAH rauru it IS ur problem this is YOUR ex and your series of Questionable Decisions, but also why she throws herself into it because she does still carry that responsibility. she still feels that guilt for not protecting rauru from himself as his older sister, and that so many people suffered, and that now more people she cares about ARE suffering and WILL suffer. a feeling thats compounded by raurus sacrifice sealing ganondorf

understanding how the sky islands float was a childhood dream of minerus, to understand the hand of the divine and make it tangible and real, and while she achieves that, with the help of someone who really truly gets her and her work, the context surrounding it is so grief stricken and heart rending it thoroughly spoils the joy of scientific pursuit, which is probably why it isnt something mineru records in a lot of detail. in a lot of ways mineru loses all the people she considers family to that same Hand of Divinity, which imo makes mineru being atheist more richly thematic and adds to her character. its this combination of "am i being punished for my lack of faith?" alongside this determination to assert your individual power in SPITE of divine influence, taking herself to the present by her own craft and the sheer power of ingenuity and creativity and the aid of an equally learned peer. also her spirit bond is on the middle finger. i love that for her

this is long as fuck so im throwing bonus thoughts in the tags

#totk headcanons #mineru #mineru totk #mineru headcanons #totk zonai #zonai #totk spoilers #throwing my random commentary in the tags #literally i see shit like ''mineru comforting rauru after a nightmare'' thats like all soft and cutesy #and im just there like She Would Not Fucking Say That #MY mineru says fuck. and calls ganondorf a dipshit. my mineru hears zelda talk about rhoam and calls him a dense motherfucker #she isnt someone that shows kindness easily. but she IS still kind #she doesnt talk to people easily and doesnt play etiquette or politics. #shes a very I Follow Rules That Make Sense both socially and otherwise #it has to have a function a purpose a reason #including religion! why worship the gold trio if they leave you on read? make it make sense says mineru #yeah god may be real but god wont fire mega demon flamethrower at a molduga. i do that. me. #and until god DOES that then all three of em are CHUMPS #in the au i have with laura sonia becomes the light dragon and carries zeldas soul to the present along with the master sword #and her and mineru have a very emotional reunion #which. is EVERYTHING to me #ALSO I CAN AND WILL ANSWER FOLLOWUPS. I LOVE CONVERSATION #BUT LIKE A VAMPIRE. I MUST BE INVITED

[pixelwisp-archive]

i want more orimakki 😩 !!! pls answer these q's i rly wanna know 🥺

Flora I love you so MUCH oh my god thank you for feeding me TT-TT (also I'm ABSOLUTELY SENDING THIS BACK FOR YOU AND OSAMU I WANNA KNOWWWW)

I’m gonna answer these Interview style because it sounds fun to do and because I can😌

This ended up taking me SO long because, per usual, I got way too carried away lmao I'm so sorry

Makki is blue and I'm orange! (Interviewer is red lmao)

1. Who loves flower crowns more?

“Ori, for sure”

“I’m bad at making them though, so I make Hiro make them for me” 

Makki looks at her like😒 and she laughs - he bites back a smile.

2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle?

"Hiro, for sure - I get a little weird about physical affection"

"She hates me"

"That's not true bub, you're just so hot"

"Thanks babe, I think you're pretty cute too"

Ori rolls her eyes and elbows him. "Next question"

3. Who has awful taste in music?

*simultaneously* "Hiro" "Me"

4. Who is the meme lover?

"I run a relatively popular account on instagram"

"I wake up every day to at least 30 new memes that he's spammed my phone with"

5. How did their second date go?

Ori starts laughing as Makki groans.

"He tried to take me to a park for a picnic-"

"Listen it would have been romantic but there was this fucking-"

"raccoon coming to grab our food-"

"and of course Ori is a dumbass ("HEY") and was ready to pet the literal wild animal ("he was so cute :(") so I tried to like shoo it away but-"

"It bit him and we ended up just sharing a cheese stick in the hospital"

"It was a disaster, to say the least"

"It's still one of my favorite dates, though"

"You just like seeing me in pain"

Ori laughs. "Not True!"

6. How many children do they want/have?

"17"

"absolutely not"

"we've talked about having two, maybe three"

"with a couple years in between. Gotta make sure they bully each other. It's important for character growth"

"We'll be sure to bully the oldest so they're not a weirdo like their mom"

Ori nods in agreement.

7. Who hides the weapons?

"I have a knife collection, does that count? I keep them in a display case on the wall"

8. Who is the better dancer?

Makki laughs. "Oh, me for sure"

"YOU?"

"Have you seen your dancing babe?"

"Have you seen YOUR dancing? What the hell is this?" *imitates this god awful windmill move*

"...okay, valid. We're both bad."

9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding?

"We're not married, marriage is for chumps."

Makki sighs. "We're not married *yet*."

"Gross, tryna tie me down stinky?"

"Been trying for years, bub"

Ori blushes, and looks away to hide her smile.

"...maybe"

Makki grins and leans in. "What?"

"I said maybe. I just-"

"I know, baby. Maybe is all I need."

10. What do their parents think of them dating?

"My parents are in love with Ori."

"My parents love him too!"

"Even your dads?"

"Yeah, my dads love you"

"Your step dad doesn't seem to like me much"

Ori furrows her brows. "which one?"

"I'm sorry, did you say 'which one?'"

"Oh, sorry. I have three dads. My mom, my dad, and then their husbands"

"I don't know, your mom's husband doesn't seem like he's warmed up to me"

"It took him years to even warm up to me. He shared his pot roast recipe with you, remember? that was his seal of approval"

Ori giggles while Makki looks at her suspiciously but eventually mumbles "if you say so"

11. Are they a super sappy couple?

"She clowns the shit out of me whenever I try"

Ori laughs. "I'm sorry I just don't know how to act when I'm embarrassed"

"I'm trying to woo you, not embarrass you, you jackass"

"*woo* me?!" Ori cackles

"I don't know why I even try"

(She goes up to him later, and takes his face in her hands, her demeanor more serious than before

"Hey, bub. You know I don't mean *you* embarrass me right? I just get awkward about affection"

He sighs and nuzzles into her palm

"I know you didn't, it's ok. I just love you too much sometimes, and its hard to reel it in"

"I love you too. So so much"

"I am gonna ask you to marry me someday. You know that?"

"I know, and my simp ass is gonna say yes. How gross is that"

Makki rolls his eyes, a smile on his face

"So gross")

12. How did they get together?

"We danced around each other for like 2 years"

"it was painful"

"Iwaizumi finally beat the confidence into me enough to kiss her"

"I don't know that you ever actually asked me out"

"Really? Oh, well then, wanna date?"

"Nah, you're a little weird"

"Damn ok, guess I'll call Mattsun" Ori laughs

13. Who asked the other to get married?

*more gagging noises while Makki sighs*

"It'll be me, clearly"

14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?

"Hiro. 100%"

"Hey, you stay up late too!"

"I know, but my jokes are always funny"

"rude"

15. Who is the nerd?

"Oh my god it's Ori"

"Hey, I converted you, fellow nerd. plus, you have a knife collection - if that's not nerd shit idk what is"

"touché"

16. Who knows the most obscure facts?

"Hiro"

"Did you know that penguins have knees?"

"I do now"

17. Who makes the other a flower crown?

"Hiro! His fingers are better suited for the weaving, I have weirdly small hands"

"Hey, I like your hands"

"Awh, babe<3"

18. Who likes to read?

"I do! If I'm not reading a physical book I'm always reading something on my phone!"

19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

Makki grins, pointing to himself while Ori shoots him a playful glare

20. Who tutors the other?

"Hiro is actually wicked smart. He an invaluable study buddy"

"Ori is the definition of a bimbo"

"Nah I'm the shebo, I'm not hot enough to make bimbo status"

"Excuse me? Consensus says you are both very hot AND definitely belonging in the bimbo category"

"Consensus? What consensus"

Makki smiles, a little too innocently. "Group Chat"

"Oh my god"

21. Do they have similar taste in movies?

"Ori enjoys literally everything so it's really easy to find common ground"

"We change it up a lot, but we're usually end up with either a horror movie or we binge an anime"

22. How do their personalities compliment each other?

"We're both fucking weirdos"

"Yeah, and Hiro's calm complements my loud - he grounds me when I need it"

"goes both ways - I get loud too. Feelings are loud sometimes and that's ok"

Ori snorts. "Ok, dr.phil"

23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?

"Is like, texting them an option?"

"We'll take em' out for breadsticks or something"

"Oh lets have them open up like a lil onesie, our moms would die"

Ori laughs "What's it gonna say on it"

"'You're both grandmas now. Congrats, you old bitches'"

Ori wheezes, folding in on herself in her seat

"That's so fucking stupid, we are absolutely doing that"

24. Who has better fashion sense?

"Look at us. Look at how we're dressed"

"There are holes in my shirt"

"and that's his nice shirt"

"In my defense, it had holes when I bought it"

"So holes are fashionable now?"

"Apparently"

"Hobo chic"

25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

"Ori is a doormat-"

"RUDE"

"-Lemme finish babe - until it comes to her people. If someone's rude to me she is ready to throw hands in seconds flat"

"damn straight...would you fight for me?"

"Of course. you think I wouldn't?"

"Just making sure<3"

26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle?

"EVERYTHING"

27. What other couple would your otp get along with?

Ori perks up "Flora and Osamu!!! I love the both of them so much, they're so cute together too"

"They're great people, plus Osamu gives us free food and honestly, what else do you need in a friend"

Ori slaps Makki's shoulder "Stop acting like you only like Osamu for his cooking"

"I'm only kidding!"

28. Who likes to prank the other?

"Ori does this thing where she'll do something nice for me and then go "get pranked!" when I notice"

"I do indeed do that"

"I am not kind. Sometimes I'll just, buy an air horn. And press it. while she's asleep."

Ori glares at Makki

"he does indeed do that"

29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures?

"I do"

"He's alwaysss taking pictures, but I hate getting my picture taken and he's super respectful of that"

"...yeah"

(Later, when Ori's stepped out for a minute

"I do take pics of her. She doesn't know it but I do"

Makki starts to show off an album full of candids of Ori

Makki sighs, a soft smile on his face "She's so pretty"

"Don't tell her about this please, she'll murder me")

30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates?

"Oof"

"That's what you'd say? Oof?"

"It's an oof for you. stuck? with me? forever?"

"you doofus, there's no one else I'd rather have"

"you little fucker, you're gonna make me cry"

makki laughs and squeezes her hand "love you stinky"

Ori sniffles "Yeah I love you too I guess"

31. Where would they live?

"right now we live in an apartment in Osaka-"

"but eventually we wanna by a house. We're thinking of going back home to Miyagi"

"We miss the small town atmosphere"

32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?

"oh my god, a little shoulder dragon would be so cute"

"ok but imagine how much money we'd save with something we could ride to work"

"shit, you're so right"

33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be?

"There are types of vampires?" looks to Makki, Makki shrugs

"Is dying an option?"

34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

"we do themed couple ones but like, not sexy ones"

"yeah, like for instance our friends went as a fireman and his girl was a dalmation, and we were-"

"bob ross and his panting!"

"...she was bob ross"

"this year I'm trying to get him to dress as mothman so I can dress up as a lamp"

35. Can they name each other’s favourite food?

"Ori loves chicken to the point where it's almost concerning"

"Hiro likes cream puffs"

"No no, they're Profiteroles"

"they're the same thing babe"

"but profiteroles sound so much fancier"

36. Do they have pet names for one another?

"The usual"

"Babe, baby-"

"stinky, fuckass-"

"bubs-"

"doofus, dumbass, nerd"

"nothing crazy"

37. How do they cheer each other up?

"I swear to god he's a psychic - he always knows exactly what I need. Sometimes I need space, sometimes I just need a hug, other times he'll have a whole self care night in prepared for me when I get home"

"Ori always knows what to do. She's not a snuggler but she will let me hold her for hours if it meant making me feel better. Honestly most of the time she holds me because - well, boobs"

"Takahiro!"

Makki laughs and jerks away as she pinches his side

38. Do they show a lot of PDA?

"I think we're not too bad. We hold hands, I'll give her the occasional kiss. She lets me wrap my arm around her sometimes"

"These questions are making me feel like a bad girlfriend. Let? :("

"hush, you're the best. You think I'd stick around if you were a bad girlfriend? Do you know how obsessed with you I am? The boys clown me for never shutting up about you even after all this time"

*Ori buries her face in her hands to hide the blush* "Oh my god you're so lame"

"That's her way of saying she loves me too :)"

39. How old were they when they got together?

"I was 22, Ori was 20"

"holy shit, almost four years?"

"Yep"

"wow"

40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?

"Me!"

"She's done it before. She named her Ripley"

41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses?

both start cackling "Absolutely not. We can try but it would be a disaster"

42. What is their song?

"Oh its-"

Castaways from the Backyardigans starts playing from Makki's phone as he grins.

"-our song is not Castaways, Hiro"

"It could be. We could decide it is right now"

"We are not making our song Castaways"

"oh c'moooonnnnn, it's a bop!"

Ori laughs "Its-"

"Your song by Elton John. It was playing when we kissed for the first time"

Ori covers her smile with her hand, her eyes soft as she looks at Makki

43. What does their room look like?

"A mess right now, Ori had to find an outfit for today so there are clothes everywhere"

Ori grins sheepishly

44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?

"Hiro would probably do the killing, I would be moral support"

"I dunno babe, I think if you snapped you could totally become a badass"

"You think so?"

"Hell yeah, I've seen you get mad at Mattsun enough times to know you can get scary as hell when you wanna"

45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed?

"we've done it for each other, it depends on the day to be honest"

46. Who loves kids more?

"Ori"

"But the kids LOVE Hiro so much its crazy, and he's so good with them"

"I like kids well enough but they're so rude and for what"

"I find their lack of filter funny!"

"If you ever feel your ego is too big, just talk to a seven year old. They'll drag to hell and back with no hesitation"

47. Do either of them have a crazy ex?

"I dunno. Do you?"

"No. Do you?"

"Nope"

"Cool"

48. What are their favourite colours?

"Hiro's is this very specific red color"

"Ori doesn't have one, it changes all the time"

"this is true"

49. Who likes to cook?

"Oh I love cooking!"

"She does majority of the cooking but we sometimes cook together"

"he is utter chaos in the kitchen but we always have a good time, even if he make my blood pressure go through the roof"

50. Who is the forgetful one?

"Hey Ori, what'd you have for breakfast this morning."

"I- um. An Iced Coffee?"

"Final answer?"

"....yes"

"Bzzzt. Wrong. You had cereal :)"

51. Does either of them know how to fight?

"I don't mean to brag, but I've taken Tai chi lessons"

"Babe, you signed up for those lessons after we binged Avatar, and you only went to four of those classes before quitting because it was too hard"

"Those four lessons taught me enough to kick someone's ass for you though"

Ori laughs "I'm sure they did"

52. What do they do for Valentines Day?

"We have this tradition of going to the store and each of us take turns blindly picking out snacks, pajamas, and either a movie/video game/or craft project and we stay in and have a little pamper day"

"we also absolutely RAID the store next day when the candy is half off"

53. Who swears more?

"We both swear a lot to be honest"

"Oh my god we're so bad"

54. Who has the better comebacks?

"Hiro, 100%"

"Ori is quick too though"

"But you go right for the jugular"

"I'm not mean to you though"

"Oh no! I just mean with others, like Oikawa - you drag that man within an inch of his life"

Makki laughs "Oh ok yeah that's fair"

55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?

"Me. Like I said, Ori is a doormat. She is so afraid of confrontation someone could literally spit on her and she'd apologize to them"

"It sounds so bad when you put it like that"

56. Who reads buzzfeed?

"Hiro says he does them ironically, but I'll be reading something on my phone and he'll start asking me obscure questions, and then I realize he's trying to get me to build a smoothie so he can find out with 'Desperate Houswife' I am"

"She got Gabrielle"

"Which isn't even accurate, I'm totally more of a Susan"

"You have some of Gabrielle's spice, though"

"What did you get?"

"Me? oh, I got Lynette"

"kinda accurate, actually"

57. Who is the hopeless romantic?

"I am, she makes fun of me but I know she loves it"

"I do, honestly"

58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand?

"I do!"

59. Who can rap better?

"oh god, neither of us"

"speak for yourself"

"go on babe, rap for them"

"...well I can't right now"

"exactly"

60. Do either of them want to go sky diving?

"I'd be down"

"I love the idea of it but oof, I'm too chicken shit"

61. What do they usually text about?

Makki pulls out his phone

"'hey babe, we're out of eggs' - that was Ori"

"'dog' - with a pic attached of said dog, that was from me"

"11/10, 'I hope he knows what a good boy he is', that was Ori's response"

"Then Ori ranted to me about Uraraka's character development"

"the wasted potential is appalling"

"absolutely it is. 3 hours later, from me - 'I forgot eggs'"

62. Who is the dramatic one?

"me, for sure"

"She's self aware though so its not so bad"

63. Is either one confrontational?

"Not really? We both avoid confrontation whenever possible. If something needs to be said though, I don't really have any reservations about it"

64. What is their favourite cuddle position?

"Me as the big spoon, I much prefer holding him I think, its less hot that way"

"Plus, boobs :3"

Ori groans as Makki laughs "I hate you"

65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?”

"Ooooh thats a toughie, we listen to so much"

66. What are their parenting styles?

"I tend to be the bad guy"

"That's not true!"

"Why do you think kids like you better? I'm the one who makes them eat veggies for a snack and you bribe them with ice cream"

"I promise we'll share the bad guy role when we have our own"

Ori narrows her eyes at Makki, sticking her tongue out at him "we better"

67. Who would be the more laid back one?

"Hiro, I get wound like a fucking top sometimes"

"You stress easily, but its ok, when you're stressed you get mean and its kinda hot"

"I'm glad my breakdowns are sexy to you"

Makki laughs "You know that's not what I meant"

68. Who listens to more vulgar music?

"Ehh, neither of us really"

"not our jam"

69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

"...do you?"

"....no"

"That was suspish"

"I'm sorry did you just say 'suspish'?"

"don't change the subject! what are you hiding?"

"Nothing!! I swear"

"Pinky?"

"Pinky"

(later, while Ori's out of the studio, he shows a picture of the ring to the camera.

"So, yeah. There is one secret. I'm really bad at lying though so let's not put me on the spot like that anymore please" The man looks d a m p with sweat lmao)

70. Who is their go to couple for a double date?

"FLOSAMU, 100%. We're overdue too, I miss them!"

71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?

"Generously"

"If you don't tip you're a jackass"

72. How do they work out a fight?

"Communication is key. We often give each other the silent treatment but it usually is just to clear our heads so we can come back to talk it out"

"He's so mature when it comes to our relationship. The way he takes charge when I'm flailing and don't know what to do or how to proceed is so sexy" Ori starts fanning herself as if to emphasis her point, a teasing grin plastered on her face

73. Who brings home an illegal pet?

"Hiro will bring anything home if it's injured. It could be a snake and if he's worried its hurt I will come home to it in the bath"

"you gotta save the animals, babe"

"Most people would call a wildlife facility though, not take them to their tiny city apartment"

74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on?

"I sleep on the left! I don't think either of us are particularly picky about it though"

"We usually wake up sprawled anyway with no clear sign of where we were before"

75. What is their favorite photo of them two together?

"There's a picture someone took of us dancing at a wedding. Ori is mid laugh in that photo and she's just - shit, she's so pretty."

"Hiro what the fuck why are you so sappy today"

"I dunno - I just think you're neat"

Ori's lips tremble a tiny bit. She sniffles. "It's my favorite photo too."

76. Who takes longer in the bathroom?

"Oh my god-"

"Okay-"

"SHE TAKES FOREVER"

"OKAY, LISTEN-"

"SHE ONLY GOES ON TIKTOK WHEN SHE GOES TO THE BATHROOM"

"I JUST GO THROUGH MY NOTIFICATIONS"

"SHE IS NEVER - STOP HITTING ME - SHE IS NEVER QUICKER THAN 30 MINUTES"

"YOU ARE SO DRAMATIC"

"DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SHOWERS"

77. Who has more songs on their ipod?

"Hiro, I kinda keep to the stuff I know, while he's constantly adding new music"

78. What movie did they first see together?

"Uhhh I think it was-"

"It was Princess Mononoke, you were appalled when I said I hadn't seen it yet"

"Honestly I still am. How do you go through 20 years of your life without having seen Princess Mononoke?" Ori shrugs

79. What do they like to see each other in?

"nothing"

"not sure what I expected, really"

"I mean was there really any other answer?"

80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

"Oh god. Both of us. We are so terrible"

"Sometimes Ori will nudge me if I'm being especially bad but she is usually the one egging me on because there is nothing cuter than her trying to hold in a laugh"

81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children?

"We started talking about it a few months ago"

"It wouldn't be any time soon either, its just discussing the topic so we know where each of us stand"

"Yeah, there's still a lot for us to figure out"

"Like, you know, finances and getting married and stuff"

Ori bites her lip "...yeah, and stuff."

82. What do they love about each other the most?

"It's probably a cop out to say everything"

"please, you don't love everything, I'm a mess"

"but you're MY mess" Ori smiles and kicks him playfully

"This is going to sound super cheesy, but I just love his heart? He's loves so loudly and so wholly. With everyone and everything around him. He's just such a good person and it's insane to think he somehow chose to be with me, a human dumpster"

"You were so romantic until you called yourself a dumpster"

"It was getting too soft, I gotta keep my bruh girl reputation"

"You're such a dork"

83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details?

"I think we're both kind of big picture people"

"No, babe, you are obsessive over minute details"

"No I'm not!"

"Everything takes you twice as long because you are constantly quadruple checking if its ok"

"..."

"and you get so stressed when you're given a project or a problem that's even the tiniest bit vague"

"well, I-"

"And don't even get me started on when you're cleaning, you always take forever because you go through every single item you've ever owned even if you know you're gonna toss or keep it"

"Okay, I feel really attacked right now" Makki laughs

84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary?

"I usually go with a tried and true mixture of sappy and funny. I post a couple photo of us that I like or just a standalone of him and I give a cute little snippet talking about how lucky I am"

"Every year I just go on a rant about how much I love her. I'm always overwhelmed on anniversaries so I keyboard smash my way through the post."

85. Who is bad at math?

"Me, I don't understand any of it. Hiro is actually pretty good at it though"

86. Who googles everything?

"I've caught her trying to google where her glasses are"

"OKAY to be FAIR I was googling to see what the most likely places would be, it was just to give me ideas"

"And where were they?"

"*sigh* in the fridge"

"why?"

"because I was on autopilot and I assumed it was the butter"

87. Who does stuff on impulse?

"Oh, me. Ori does sometimes but she always regrets whatever she impulse did"

"its normally shopping and then I'm sad because I'm broke again"

88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

"honestly? We learned this the hard way, but...just being there, letting them know they can lean on you when they need to. Being a pillar and giving them the space and comfort to let them tell you what they need and how you can help. Communication is so important in a relationship"

"You said you learned that the hard way? What do you mean by that?"

Ori and Makki share a look

"It's a long story. Another time, maybe"

89. What is an inside joke they have?

They both immediately start laughing

"Are you also thinking-"

"Yes! What about-"

"*incoherent wheezing*"

"well there's the-"

"or the-"

"oh my god remember-"

all the sentences go unfinished, laughter dissolving any chance of you ever figuring any of them out.

90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

"I think its mutual, sometimes we will literally just look at each other and we'll smile without even realizing it."

"We're so gross"

"Ugh, I know." But they smile at each other

91. What is their favourite holiday?

"New years! Christmas is always nice but its stressful with gift giving. New years is always stress free and a good time, plus Ori loves visiting the shrines the next day"

"It's so peaceful, and seeing everyone pay their respects fills me with an overwhelming appreciation for humanity."

92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?

Ori pouts.

"I'm the angry one. I know I am. I'm a menace"

"You're not a menace babe, you just feel a little more than others"

"Are you like high right now or something? What has got you so wise and therapist-y"

"Love." Makki wiggles his eyebrows as she scoffs, her soft giggles betraying the eye roll

93. What is their favourite board game to play?

"Clue!"

94. Who accidentally sets something on fire?

"Okay, it's me, it's happened more than once too"

"She doesn't know the first thing about safety in the kitchen"

"I want to argue so bad but I just know I can't" she sighs

95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?

"I'm robbing. Ori would get distracted"

"valid"

96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert?

"Mother Mother"

"It was INSANE"

97. Who sleep talks?

"Hiro does" Ori starts giggling, pulls up the sleep app on her phone

"Wanna listen?"

98. Who is the more social one?

"Oh, me, definitely. She is more talkative but Ori rarely initiated conversation with new people or if she's in a new environment at all"

99. What are their karaoke songs?

"I have to be absolutely trashed before we even attempts Karaoke but we do a duet and its either Bohemian Rhapsody or one of our cheesy love songs"

100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?

"Hiro!! He does it all the time and I love him for it"

"Awh, love you too babe"

"And that's a wrap!"

Makki looks at Ori, grabbing her hand and instinctively intertwining their hands together. "Ready to go, stinky?"

Ori smiles, bringing their entangled hands up to lips as she presses a soft kiss to his skin.

"Ready."

#orimakki #whispers #familiars #flora #this was so fun and it took me SO LONG because i decided to make it stupid complicated lmao #but I'm so happy with it its cheesy as hell and I don't even care lmao #thank you for sending this in flora!! sweet angel you are too good to me :D<3

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #19: The Collected

The room was very dark and unfamiliar, windowless. A single light, harsh in contrast, was illuminating the disturbing sight of NSFW, unconscious and tied up back to back while seated on a pair of rather uncomfortable looking wooden chairs. The scene was quiet, the only sound the occasional drip of water, or perhaps the squeak of a scurrying rat. A moment passed, and our heroes began to come around, looking a rather concerned at their predicament. Mike spoke first, her cap slouched at an angle- it appeared that whoever kidnapped the two of them had the decency to put it back on her head. “Nnnngh… Church? You okay, bud?” John opened up his eyes slightly. His mind felt like mush. He mumbled his response. “Not really.” “Don’t worry. I’m right here, we’ll find a way out of this.” She was taking a brave stance, it seemed, for the sake of her partner if nothing else, but her own expression was a bit wide-eyed and nervous looking. She glanced around, trying to glean anything about their location from what little she could see. There were vague shapes in the dark, but nothing beyond the boundaries of the single light was anything that Mike could make out for certain. Suddenly, a door opened and slammed shut, a cascade of footfalls echoing down an unseen stairway, a long shadow falling over the captive Tag Team Champions. “Michelle McGuire. John Bishop Church. I see you’re awake. Good. I only slipped the two of you a mild sedative. I wouldn’t want any harm to come to my newest acquisitions… yet.” The voice was a rich, warm baritone, the sort that sounded as if it belonged to a well known gay rights activist. Or perhaps a legendary sci-fi actor. Or perhaps both assumptions were only coincidental. “But I am being rude. Allow me to introduce myself. I… am The Collector.” The pair stared at him blankly. Then back at each other best they could manage. Back to their captor again. “...I’m sorry, who?” “The Collector! The greatest mastermind that professional wrestling has ever seen!” Mike looked thoughtful, lips pursed into a ‘hmmm’ of concentration. Then she shook her head. “No, seriously, who are you? I’ve never fuckin’ heard of you.” The shadow threw its arms up in frustration, the voice taking on a distinct edge of indignation. “You mock the Collector? The most feared manager in the world? I have traveled this entire sorry planet, assimilating the best fighters into my personal collection. From the arid deserts of Mexico, to the flowering cherry orchards of Japan, to the frozen tundras of Canada. I have taken the best from them all, and now I have come for America. All of the best Earth warriors will belong to me!” He cackled richly. John, for whatever reason, was nodding along. “He seems nice.” “Church. He wants to keep us as pets, or fuckin’ eat us, shit, maybe he wants to make us part of some weird concubine, I don’t know.” “Oh.” With their kidnapper’s clear lack of niceness clarified, Mike turned her attention back to the sinister man casting his shadow over them. Her brows knit, and suddenly a look of recognition dawned over her. “Wait a fuckin’ sec, I know who this guy is! … Dude, didn’t your team just lose? To a team containing Emma Louise? I mean, granted, she’s on a real fuckin’ hot streak lately. Maybe that’s what happens when one of your clients is a misogynist dickhole and the other won’t shut up about food porn.” “Oh, these guys.” Mike’s face paled a bit. “Church, shit, it’s even worse than I thought. We ain’t just been kidnapped… we’ve been kidnapped by losers!” There was a deafening thwack on a wooden surface in front of them. The veiled man trembled with anger. “Silence, fools! I didn’t forcefully invite you to my palatial estate in Boca Raton to discuss the past. We are here to discuss the future. Your futures, particularly.” “Shit! We’re still in Florida? We gotta be in North Carolina by Monday, dude!” “If we don’t show up we’re gonna be in big trouble.” A thoughtful pause. The bigger man raised his eyebrows in mild concern. “Look what happened to the Volsung Death Squad.” “Enough! You no longer need to worry about any of the Carolinas. You see, The Criterion has done exactly what we’ve been asked to do and that is eliminate our opponents.” Mike smirked a bit. “Hang on a sec. You’re the Collector, yeah? And your little group, you call ‘em Criterion. … Does that make them the fuckin’ Criterion Collection?” “Oh, that reminds me. You know that movie we watched the other night?” “...the weird arthaus-y thing?” There is a glimmer of appreciation in John’s eyes and he began to speak in a tone that lended to fond memories. “Did you know that the inspiration for Cries and Whispers was Ingmar Bergman’s very own mother? Anyway, that family. They went through so much. They could have learned a lot from Agnes and maybe they did after the fact.” “Wait, wait, this was the one with the three sisters, and the dying one was cuddling the maid’s boobs, and one of them cut the shit out of her own hoo-ha to turn off her husband?” Another thwack! “Shut up! So, you enjoyed watching a little sisterly bonding, eh? Then perhaps you’ll enjoy…this!” The lights to the left of the room suddenly clicked on, revealing two large glass tubes, the frozen, terrified forms of Aimee and Ruby Clifton within them. The glass was just frosted enough to obscure the details of their features but easily revealing their palms against the glass, their wide eyes, their parted, screaming lips. Mike herself didn’t scream, but she did gasp, her expression both horrified and slightly nauseated. The Collector’s maniacal laugh filled up the dank basement like black balloons. “You crazy fucker, you killed them! What the fu--- oh my fucking God!” John’s eyes were wide and full of a bleak terror. Mike voiced that abject reaction for the both of them until he could only mutter in a breathless voice. “Oh my.” “Indeed! The Clifton Sisters stand before you as monument as to why I, The Collector, am not to be trifled with! And soon enough, when the time of the Criterion’s victory is nigh, you will join them!” Mike stared at the encased bodies of the two women, speechless for a time before, very unlike her, bursting into wild sobbing. “Son of a bitch! You fuckin’ monster! They had their whole careers ahead of them! They never even got to win a match!” John was in so much shock that he didn’t really react. “And what about the rest of them? Lynx Boyd. She’s a Clifton, too. Except she’s not. I think?” “And what about Paul? Their big brother is going to be so fuckin’ sad!” “And their parents in Ohio. I mean, they’re already in Ohio, and this happens?” “And their other siblings! Joanie, and Chachi, and Melvin, and Gunter, and Lucy, and Ricky, and Richie, and Potsie, and Donder, and Blitzen, and Gilligan, and the rest…” “Melvin Clifton already passed away so he’s been spared of this horrible news.” “They’re never going to be Tag Team Champions now!” John’s shoulders shrugged, the ropes loosening just a little as his frame went inwards. “They were never going to be Tag Team Champions anyway.” “Oh, I agree, John Bishop Church. That is why they had to go. But you heard my Yeshwa. Just like Curtis Mars and Emma Louise, The Clifton Sisters were mere stepping stones to our greatest achievement. Becoming Tag Team Champions.” “But you lost.” “So this plan’s kind of already been whizzed down your leg. I mean it’s kind of refreshing to see some real ambition, but ambition only takes you so far if you don’t produce. Ambition without production just makes your boys a pack of arrogant dicks. And you. You’re just as fucking bad. I’ve seen dozens and dozens like you. You’re probably some has been or never was, looking to soak up glory from young guns more talented than you ever were, like some overgrown sponge. What are you going to do when the guys you’re living vicariously through don’t go fucking anywhere? Get new guys? Or perish like a fucking dog?” The Collector’s voice became hysteric with umbrage at Mike’s newfound hostility. “You are in no position to speak to me as you are right now, you pathetic wretch! You think one loss derails our master plan?” “No, of course not. If it did, we wouldn’t be where we are now.” John looked around. “Figuratively. Anyway, Yeshwa made all of these promises that he failed to keep. He couldn’t hold up his end of the bargain. You threw two guys together who had probably just met each other and expected positive results? The big guy? He seemed like he didn’t even know what type of match he was in.” “No matter! My collection is vast and Yeshwa will be paired with a more suitable partner this time. A man who captured a glorious first victory. NSFW, you will suffer greatly when my samoan destroyer tears you limb from limb.” “Your tall, handsome drink of water, huh? I’ve seen better. But I’ll give you that he’s got more on the ball than your other big guy, that’s for sure. Least, that’s what I thought till I heard him run his yap about Joe Doe. I mean, shit. What kind of chump dumps on a guy who puts in the work week after week, and every week gets just a little bit better?” Mike’s eyes flashed as if finding this oversight insulting. John interjected his feelings into the matter. “Antoni won. But Joe will be back. That’s the kind of young man he is. Now Antoni has to come to a realization. He teams with a man who couldn’t pull it together after all of those grandiose statements about destruction and remembrance. And he faces a team that since they have debuted have only been pinned but one time. That has ran through every challenger and would-be challenger to those so desired tag team championships through hard work and sheer determination.” “He’s got that on his own. I see that in him under the thick level of jerkassitude. But the thing is, he’s one guy. And Yeshwa, he may have lost, but maybe he’s got some spark in there we haven’t seen yet. But the truth still stands. These are two guys. Two guys who just got smacked together by you, Mister Collector. What prayer can they possibly stand against us? Two people who’ve spent almost a year now backing each other up and learning everything about each other? Your boys can’t say that. But you know who can? The team you’ve already written off.” John bucked slightly against the ropes, feeling the desired result come through. “We faced The Clifton Sisters and in their eyes we saw a hunger to become the best. Mike and I weren’t just going to give way to them. And unfortunately for them, they fell short. But they only had one thing to say afterwards.” “Ruby goes and says, ‘You haven’t seen the last of us. I promise you that.’ without skippin’ a fuckin’ beat.” “And considering our present company, we could blow that off as the cartoony words of a villain that is always meant to lose. But I believe them.” “I wasn’t blowing smoke up their asses when I told them they were welcome to try again anytime, and here they are, answering it like true fucking challengers. Are they gonna beat us? Not if we can help it, but they can sure’s fuck try, as many times as they want. And long’s they do? We’ll respect them for it.” Suddenly, John stood up. The ropes fell to his feet nonchalantly. “To be honest, not sure we should afford your team the same respect. I’m sure they’re capable enough. But collectively, their views on this business are toxic.” Giving a twist of her wrists, Mike knocked her own ropes away and followed suit. “And the absolute last thing this industry of ours needs is more goddamn toxicity.” “What? How did you two escape? My knots are impeccable! You two were to be the pinnacle of my glorious collection! Eliminated by my greatest warriors!” Mike scoffed. “Between us? We got those things undone like five minutes ago. Your traps suck and so do you. Now where’s your bathroom? I gotta piss like a racehorse.” The Collector faded back into the darkness, resigned in his humiliation. “Up the stairs and to the left.” “Good. Thanks. Now get outta my way!” The Bronx brawler charged up the stairs, her partner following, footsteps heavier and more deliberate. The Collector was left alone with his sad collection of papier mache trophies, and the yelling from upstairs. “Fuck, man, this place is nice! Can see the beach and everything! You gotta finish that basement, it’s gotta be bringing down your property values. … Church, you need to check out this crapper, it’s got a fucking bidet!” “No thanks. This place smells like menthol candies.” The sound of a flushing toilet echoed through the basement plumbing as the picture faded to black.

#archive