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stray-tori · 3 years

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It’s over! *party* - now it’s time for

Merlab bonus insight/rambling! ^^/

Okay, so here I will be talking about various things related to the mermay au, that didn’t make it into the final “story”/version.

Original draft - My original draft was sorta like this:

It started out as the very last scene of them parting but originally there was way less bonding and Emma just left without any drama, they still locked hands though pff-

Emma loved her freedom more than she cared about Norman, it’d be a sort of “eyy cool, okay let’s lock hands - byee!” deal.

Here’s a drawing I did in 2019, back when Merlab wasn’t a comic but just standalone drawings sduhdsj - it never came to be posted because Merlab escalated, but it would be their original reunion.

have more doodles:

Things that I probably didn’t convey properly but want to point out:

Emma can easily pull Norman into the tank earlier in the story, but on p137 she’s too weak to even drag him further down (he can stop the movement/being dragged) due to the sleep siren and the tranquilizer arrow.

Ray has a higher resistance to Isabella’s lullaby because he’s her biological child. He can also use the siren song ability (as seen towards the end).

Mers communicate per high-frequency sounds that humans usually cannot hear or just barely hear.

Things that got scrapped/changed along the way:

Emma was first going to only talk at the end and surprise the shit outta Norman. Basically her only line in the entire thing was “Norman will be killed” or something along those lines. It was supposed to be implied that she could learn the language simply by listening to the other people talk.

edit: i found my original sketch of this!

Originally p89 was going to be a very long scrolling page where Norman would go through and debunk some plans (which were all plans I came up with and scrapped because they didn’t seem plausible anymore) - I actually don’t remember why I scrapped this, I think I wanted to avoid too many unnecessary monologues.

The co-worker was not Don originally, he would just be some random dude.

Originally, Norman was going to encounter not-don-coworker dude and be confronted by him. And end up shooting him. With the “flood the facility”-plan came my realization I’d have to scratch that encounter, which I was happy to do, because Don doesn’t deserve to get killed in an au and because action is impossible anyway :’D

Oh yeah Norman was originally gonna steal a gun and be a little more. uhm. wild. But then I figured if Norman had a gun, the guards must have guns and guns are kinda useless underwater so I scrapped that.

Gilda was originally not in the au at all, but when I changed it so that Norman could physically not enter the tank room, but then had him use two id cards later, I needed a 2nd id card from someone. So Gilda came to enter. I also figured she’d maybe help Isabella, like the older girls do in the anime, and therefore has access to more things.

Oh yeah: Isabella was the head of the facility before I switched it to Krone. I think you can still sort of tell in some of Krone’s reactions because I didn’t change MUCH of the storyboard even after the switch. I changed it because of the Isabella/Ray thing and because I really liked the idea of her lullaby being a siren song.

Originally, the mermaids could only talk per very high frequency sounds, which basically meant they had a sort of telepathy thing going on. The language parts actually came in fairly late, it was more of a short idea, originally Norman was just going to try to learn their “language” but I kinda wanted to give her a name and then that was developed a bit more.

Emma has pretty quick healing! (Mers in general do) - therefore it’s kind of implied that the chest bandages are more an act of decency/respect/human moral, from some point forward. Technically, they wouldn’t care about that as soon as Norman doesn’t take care of her anymore, but I didn’t know how to portray that without limiting myself, artwise, so. I ignored that.

I thought a lot about what the facility’s goal actually is. I’m not actually sure what I ended up hinting/going with throughout the story because my brain is a mess, but there were times where I was thinking of going fully into the realms of human modification or using them in wars or similar - but I wanted the language aspect to be viable so I kind of wishy-washy’ied what purpose the research is actually for.

At some point Emma lashing out on page 53 was much more extreme: She’d try to drown Norman (mirroring the one time she pulled him in playfully), but I couldn’t really find a way to make that believable after how much they’d bonded at that point. Norman would either use a recording of the lullaby (upsetting her more) or try to stab her - he’d then try to make the guards not harm her, since they’d actually come in to immobilize her.

But basically her saving him later during the escape was supposed to be the narrative “comeback” / mirror continuation of that! It still works with the book I feel, personally, but there’s just a lot of mess and missed potential in general hhh-

What happens now?

Originally, Norman was going to be actually shown alive/experimented on, and their separation would be outside (but that made little sense so I scrapped it), and Norman was going to obtain some mer characteristics.

Basically he’d have scales, could hear the mers’ frequency (and talk it after a while, even though Emma just uses human speech sometimes to help him) and could breath underwater, but have no actual fin.

About the high frequency: Norman starts to be able to hear it after he transforms, but at first it's just a mixture of random signals he can't quite make out but as he starts to get it more, I would have switched it to "normal" speech bubbles (first with random words, jumbled around) which I think makes sense visually? And I’m somewhat sad I didn’t get to do this.

For those of you who've seen my trio week mermaid art, that’s actually part of that plotline :)

(original post)

Norman can’t deal with the high frequencies at first and transforming in general hurts, his skin is melting and falling apart before it regenerates with more mer characteristics. Emma and later Ray do their best to comfort him! ^^

I scrapped that bc it would have been too long, and I didn’t know where to go with it ultimately. Plus, as the facility developed further, I didn’t think I could write a believable way for Emma and Ray to break him out of there. Though now that Gilda and Don got more sympathetic and bigger roles, they’d probably solve that problem if I tried.

I won’t create this because I don’t have the energy to, but have a barebones plot outline: 1. Norman is a half-mer now 2. Don and Gilda find out somehow 3. 4. Profit, I mean Freedom!

Other fun concepts: 5. Norman goes to the shore to burn the fish they give him bc he will nOT EAT RAW FISH (Ray is fascinatedTM)

6. Emma is like "now we're like the book!" at some point! I found this really cute and wanted to do it at the time, but I’ve grown away a bit from this brand of shipping them. But have the notes I did for the interaction!

Emma: [now we're like the book!] Norman: /// ... Norman :) Norman: *gradles her hair* Norman: Yeah.

“Norman…” “Yeah?” “In book, thing human and mer mouths…” Norman: /// “Why?” Emma: *tilts her head* “Can Noamon and Emma?” Norman: uhm… [Only for… love] <- high frequency convo, it’s less embarrassing than saying it out loud Emma: …? Norman: Uhmm…. Procreation? <- an attempt to have Ray not hear it if he’s near Emma: blink blink Norman: ///// Emma: Noa gwud? Norman: You can it’s just— *peck* Norman: blinks, then chuckles

Ray, coming in: [Are you feeding Halfmer???] Emma: [It��s a hooman thing!! It’s very weird] Norman: soul has officially left his body Arrow pointing at Ray: actually very curious about human culture but won’t admit it

Merlab 2.0

If I did this comic now, I would update a bit of the mer lore. I would make it a research facility, which experimented on mystical creatures / “demons” and their shifting capabilities and applied them to humans, or something like that, and mers basically being a byproduct of that.

I would make Peter the head of the facility instead of Krone and Isabella a former test subject that got killed when Ray and Emma escaped. That way most of her stuff would stay somewhat intact. Emma would also have a reason to try and go back there more to investigate and potentially save everyone else or something like that, and Ray is more cynical and just wants to keep her safe. I would probably also try to utilize more aggressive/active Emma better in the beginning before they bond more. I’d also try to stay more grounded than I did and tone down the romantic hints a bit more, and try to integrate Ray more / show what he tries to do.

well I hope some of this was insightful / fun to read! ^^/

#tpn #tpn au #tpn fanart #merlab au #my shtuff #tori talks #tori's disowned art

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m2009u · 7 years

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Chapter 5: Ravage 2099 #2

Previously Paul-Phillip Ravage is a naive idiot straight out of a Silver Age comic who lost his job and reputation because he believes that Alchemax is NOT a corrupt company. Now he is the Garbage Avenger: a Brooklyn sounding anarchist who dress up in trash and drives a garbage truck. Not really a good first impression IMO.

The comic opens up with this ugly mofo!

Y’know I kind of want to give the artist prop for making this Mutroid look like the many characters that only Jack Kirby would draw. And yes the dialogue didn’t improve . . . okay they slightly improve but now we have to deal with Silver Age style text boxes that always opens up the story.

Anyway Stormer wants to overthrow Dethstryk rule over Hellrock, and doesn’t take shit from anyone who disagrees with him.

Getting tired of shit, Dethstryk decided to come down from his plaza and deal with the rabble rouser who thinks he’s tough shit . . . does anybody use rabble rouser anymore?

Stormer attacks Dethstryke but comes to realize he was no match.

youtube

So yeah Stormer realizes he’s no match for Dethstryk and surrenders like the bitch he is.

He is totally an original character! Clearly he isn’t a rip off to Doctor Doom and Magneto given the last panel!

But enough about him, let’s get to the main story where a bunch of cops talk shit about Ravage’s truck.

Being the law abiding individual as painfully seen in the last comic, Ravage decided to ram his truck at the law enforcement . . . oh right, I forgot he became a loose cannon rebel at the end of the first comic.

I like to think the reason why he is attacking the officers is because he didn’t take to kindly about what they said about his truck.

Holy crap, I was just joking about his reasons for attacking the officers. But judging by his dialogue, his truck is serious fucking business.

And the Garbage Avenger threw a cog at the Public Eye officer like it was a Batarang. Dear God, this story is actually picking up! Why wasn’t THIS the first comic instead of that lame out dated bullshit that is the actual Ravage 2099 #1.

Seriously, I think I prefer Ravage as the Garbage Avenger more than him as some CEO to cop hippies. It actually shows how the character live up to his name. Especially in his monologue lampshading how much of a pushover he was for Alchemax.

While driving his truck he notice an ad for the Ultimate Kevlar, which is some sort of blasterproof cloth. Knowing how useful that would be, he does like any liked minded American and loot the place with his TRUKK!

Our hero ladies and gentleman . . . though granted he is stealing it from an obviously corrupt corporation and he is basically the Stone Cold Steve Austin of the story. So I’ll let it slide. Too bad Public Eye won’t as they give chase to the Garbage Avenger after receiving reports of breaking and entering..

But the question still remains: is the Ultimate Kevlar really blaster proof?

Yes. Yes it is.

I don’t think anybody with a sense of fashion would want to wear something that has a “Ravage Seal of Approval”.

Meanwhile Andethrope meets with an officer reporting on his failure to detain Ravage. Mook execution in 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . .

Good to see that he’s still acting like a cliche Bond villain.

Meanwhile on Hellrock, Dethstryke receives a premonition of Ravage being a threat to his rule from his soothe sayer.

Guess he didn’t heard the news that Ravage is now the Garbage Avenger. Who speaking of is at a dump figuring out a way to hide his truck. Not because he is a fugitive and is identified driving the thing. But really is because in the future it is taboo for Humans to have romantic relationship with Vehicles. And since the love between Ravage and his trukk is publicly known, they are marked for being heathens for even

Aw. He really knows how to sweet talk a gir- I mean trukk. Trukk’s gender is trukk btw. Can’t be misgendering trukk.

Too bad he’s not the only one who has a truck fetish. A bunch of vagrants ambushed Ravage so they can have their way with his trukk!

Yeah don’t you dare try to rape his trukk! If anybody is going to fuck it, it’s gonna be Ravage!

I’ll just skip ahead and tell you that he kicked all their asses.

Meanwhile (again) Dethstryk contacts Anderthrope over Ravage still being alive and demands the Bond Villain to lure him to Hellrock.

Oh my God! He’s going to kidnap Ravage’s one true love: HIS TRUKK!!!

. . . Or that hot secretary or whatever. She’s not a trukk. She’s just some model sized Asian lady in a mini skirt and open chest. How can she compete with a trukk!

Anyway, Tiana isn’t happy with Ravage keeping her locked up in the apartment for her protection and notes how she is totally over him. We all know you are jealous of trukk, admit it.

Just as she walks out the door, they are ambushed by Alchemax mercenaries/Public Eye officers (couldn’t tell the difference but I assumed Public Eye are under Alchemax payroll). All of the sudden, Ravage was justified in telling a woman to stay in her place.

Naturally a fight scene occurs . . . nuff said.

Knowing Stan Lee’s way of writing action girls back in the 60s, she’s not going to be of much use.

Well I’ll be damned. Guess Stan’s is channeling the way he wrote actions girls like Spider-Woman and She Hulk during the 70s. She’s an actual badass and not completely useless. Wish I could say the same for Dack . . .

You’re black and fighting, who I assume, are future cops. You DON’T have the type advantage here.

Realizing they are getting their asses beat, the Alchemax cops decided to use their transit beam to capture Tiana.

In hindsight, they should of done that to begin with. The comic ends with Ravage swearing to save Tiana and the Alchemax goons revealing where they are heading.

This comic is definitely an improvement over the last one. Don’t get me wrong, it still have it share of flaws including the Hellrock scenes feeling disjointed from the main story, the Silver Age Style still persisting in the writing via dialogue, and not much story development as to why pollution is such a big deal in the future and what use is it for the Mutroids. But I do enjoy it for the shift in the main character’s personality who kind of reminds me of Stone Cold Steve Austin at this point. Seriously, it manage to turn this story around for me as a no nonsense rebel who will fuck up anything and anyone who gets in his/her way is always an awesome yet destructive archetype to see. Not to mention Tiana’s character evolution as she doesn’t act to dependent on Ravage like she did in the first issue and calls him out on his over protection; hope this doesn’t go away. All in all, it’s a better introduction to the series than the first issue.

Next time: Doom 2099 #1. And now I need to change my pants due to all this love nectar in it.

#Marvel 2099 #marvel comics #ravage 2099 #review

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afterspark-podcast · 5 years

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G1 Episode 2: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

Stinger:

S: What’s your favorite thing out of Rescue Bots so far?

O: Is-is this not feline sleepwear for cat’s pajamas or something?

[Intro music plays]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I’m Owls!

S: And I’m Specs!

O: Today we’re going to be talking about episode number 2, More than Meets the Eye Part 2. Let’s talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah, yeah, let’s do it.

O: Last time on the Transformers, if you remember, because presumably you listened to us talk about how giant advanced robots clearly can’t see a planet coming.

S: Uhm-hm.

O: The Autobots and Decepticons have crash landed on Earth and re-engaged in their eons long fight of good versus evil~

S: [snickering]

O: And we open--back on the oil rig, where we left last time, and everything is on fire.

S: Yup. Cue various Autobots and humans stuck among the oil rig wreckage. [sighs]

O: Which by stuck, I mean giant robots are being somehow stuck by flimsy little pieces of metal compared to them?

S: Somehow--somehow trapped, they are unable to lift this. [sigh] I don’t know.

O: I don’t know either. Anyway! So then, everything’s on fire. I believe I mentioned that. Uh, and they decide to put fire out by shooting at it.

S: And it works somehow. I mean, the Autobots would obviously make bank if they could mass produce Wheeljack’s fire suppression system. Cause he just, like, does one pass, and he’s like [sound effect] of foam. O: Of foam and all the flame goes out. And this was not a small fire, because oil rig.

S: Yeah, I mean, I guess this is how he prevents his own lab fires from getting out of control?

O: Which would make sense or the Ark should have exploded, long, long, [chuckles] long ago.

S: Or Iacon.

O: Or Iacon, probably Iacon. So then, we gotta save the squishies. Uh, and Optimus suddenly forgets how to swim.

S: With the meager, meager weight of two humans.

O: Which are Sparkplug and uh, Spike, right?

S: Yup.

O: And then he’s gotta be rescued by Jazz’s grappling hook, which will show up a couple of times in this epis--in like the next couple of episodes.

S: Um-hm.

O: Um.

S: [snickers]

O: So, then the Autobots bring the two back to the oil rig and proceed to imprint upon the first squishies they see. Optimus Prime proceeds to give Sparkplug and Spike what I can only describe as the Autobots’ elevator pitch of, “We’re the good guys, we’re fighting the bad guys, we’ve been fighting the bad guys for-freaking-ever.” [laughs]

S: Pretty much. [laughs] And then the humans are like, “We know more about Earth than you do.” And that’s basically the excuse used for literally every other human character that shows up in any other series.

O: Unfortunately.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: Yeah.

O: There are good human characters, but then there are bad ones. I’m thinking of the bad ones right now. [laughs]

S: [laughs]

O: So, the Autobots, imprinting upon their squishies, clearly bring them back to their base and we see Spike monologuing to himself while he writes in his diary.

S: Yeah.

O: It then cuts to Soundwave. As he creeps on--

S: [laughs]

O: A sixteen year old boy. Who is, I repeat, writing in his diary. [chuckles]

S: Yup. [chuckles] And while Spike is--Spike while he’s outside an alien base decides to pick up technology--AKA this super fancy boom box, which is Soundwave, admittedly--that he doesn’t recognize and brings it inside. [laughs]

O: Of which, I can only assume that Soundwave, when trying to come up with a plan to get into the Autobot base said to himself, “Oh wait! I know how to get in here by doing absolutely nothing.” [laughs]

S: And he actually does this multiple times in uh--like he does this in the Marvel comics too. He uses, like, two workers to get, like--he’s--he’s just waiting in a parking lot, and one of them’s like--

O: [snorts]

S: here’s this really cool 8 track tape player. I’m going to pick it up, take it past all of these guns, and all of these soldiers with guns, and I’m going to stick it my locker.

B: [laughter]

O: And then the locker explodes later, right? [laughs]

S: Yes, yes it does, and Soundwave unleashes his cassettes and, like--he broadcasts the transmission of him doing all of this stuff in this base, for you know, psychological warfare purposes I guess.

O: [laughing] Okay-

S: But that’s--that’s where that really great, like, contrapposto--

O: OH, got it.

S: --panel of Soundwave came from. [laughs] But yeah, Soundwave. Soundwave is totally big on very--disguises that don’t take a whole lot of effort. And apparently this is just one of his main hobbies, or tactics I guess?

O: I mean if it works, I can’t even blame him.

S: I mean we’ve got two examples out of two pieces of media, so I guess it works...

O: Well, I know he does it in the IDW comics too.

B: [laughter]

S: Oh true!

O: I read that! I know he does! So, yeah--

S: True. Oh god, and I think they do about the same thing in the movies, but it’s with Frenzy.

O: Yes...

S: Yeah, that’s how Frenzy--

O: Something like that.

S: That’s how Frenzy gets on the President’s plane or whatever.

O: Oh god--YEAH, yeah that’s right. I don’t think I realized that was Frenzy, I am going to completely delete that from my brain now. Moving on!

S: [laughs] At least I’m pretty sure it’s Frenzy? But yeah, let’s get back on business! And so Spike wants to know more about the Autobots and Cybertron and so the Autobots decide to show off for their new--their new buddy--their new pet, umm, I guess.

O: And uh, the Autobots are like, “Wow! Earth is really pretty,” and I swear to god Spike’s just like, “Yeah, yeah, Earth is nice but tell me more about your awesome alien planet.”

S: Pretty much, pretty much, he’s--he’s super impressed with--with Hound’s hologram projector and then--

O: [laughs] I think you mean ‘hoelo-gram’

S: ‘Hoelo-gram’.

O: This will be a theme.

S: Probably, yeah. [laughs] And then Hound takes Spike for the ‘ride of his life’. [sighs]

O: Why--why are all the robots in this episode so inappropriate to Spike!?! I don’t understand. We’ve got Soundwave, we’ve got Hound--it’ll be Hound again later!

B: [laughter]

S: I don’t think--I don’t think Hound’s intending to be, it’s just the subtext, except that yeah that screenshot from later is definitely one of the classics. Yeah. But they go see a lovely sunset on this ride. I mean it’s truly beautiful. It’s lovely, and then they get back.

O: So Soundwave, now being in the Autobot base because Spike brought him in--the front freaking door! [laughs]

S: And just left him there without telling anyone.

O: [laughs] Right! Not like I’m gonna take this home--I’m going to leave this over here for no fucking reason. Anyway! Soundwave transforms back into robot mode and ejects Ravage, who--turns into a panther, and then turns back into a cassette tape and hops into the Autobots’ computer to steal information as a cassette tape. Which, yes, I know, I know some old computers did this, but dear lord I didn’t grow up during that time period--so at this point in time in the year of our lord, 2018 it’s just fucking ridiculous because I have no context.

S: [snorts] Neither do I, oh my god. And then, Spike and Hound have come back and Spike catches Soundwave stealing information, and he strikes a pose!

O: ~Draw me like one of your French girls Soundwave~

S: Such contrapposto, I mean he’s like a model.

O: It’s very pretty. So Soundwave and Ravage now try to make their escape. The Autobots capture Ravage...

S: Except like, the first two times they kinda can’t? Or at least two minibots can’t.

O: They catch him eventually though.

S: Yeah after they make people turn on their headlights and their infrared.

O: Yeah. So then we cut back to the Decepticons, cause Soundwave has clearly returned, as they gather round Soundwave, who’s playing a cassette tape that I presume is not Ravage, because he’s been captured, for their Earth history lesson.

S: And they’re glued to the radio like a 1940’s family listening to the President’s fireside chats.

O: [snorts] Only, you know, they’re all giant robots.

S: And one of them is a warlord.

O: And one of them is the cassette deck! [laughs]

S: [laughs] Yeah-

O: Anyway, so uh, Starscream says something stupid--don’t remember what it was, all I remember is that at some point during the scene Megatron is like, [terrible Megatron impersonation] “Your knowledge is only overshadowed by your stupidity, Starscream!” Because of course he does. Um, and after listening to all of--to the like, Earth history lesson from Soundwave, Megatron’s brillant scheme is to steal energy from a power plant. By making a tidal wave hit a dam.

S: [groans] That’s not how that works!

O: I don’t know how he expects...any of this to work? I really, truly, do not, because of course the tidal wave is going to destroy the dam and how do you get the energy? And I don’t know???

S: But I did really like Soundwave’s sort of descriptive hand motion for that, I mean that was….quite nice?

O: Soundwave dispatches Rumble to start a tidal wave. Of which, by the way, Soundwave just shouldn’t be allowed to come up with operation names because he literally ejects him from his tape deck going, “OPERATION TIDAL WAVE.” Which just sounds completely freaking ridiculous.

S: Yup-- and Rumble gets to be a dick to dams.

O: [laughs] The Autobots notice something’s going on so they’re gonna go investigate and then we cut back--so then we basically cut from the Decepticons, to the Autobots, back to the dam and the dam begins to fall apart from like, the force of the water.

S: Uh-hm, and one of the humans hits a malfunctioning read out, like that’ll make it work better?

O: Definitely! Definitely, that’s how you fix everything, you just hit it. [laughs]

S: Percussive maintenance. It’s a thing.

O: The Decepticons attack. Uh, Megatron announcing himself only--as only he can. And by attack I mean, they burst through the wall like the god damned Kool-Aid Man and then Megatron shoots the ceiling...because he can!

S: [laughing] Yup, yup, that’s--that’s Megatron. And-and the dam is, as this happens the dam is crumbling because somehow Rumble’s attack is, well, whatever the hell he’s doing is apparently working. I mean maybe he’s just destabilizing the dam concrete?

O: I have no idea, but I swear it was the same shot as, like, the previous one of the dam crumbling. And it was just like, “We’re gonna show this again.” [laughs]

S: Hey they have to save some money, so...yeah.

O: So then, one of the humans explains to Megatron that the dam is going to LITERALLY explode and Megatron is happy about this because the electricity output is going to be at its peak.

S: And, well, I mean the human that’s talking to Megatron--he either super cares his work, or he just does not give a shit [laughs] about how squishy he is.

O: Because, again, forty foot robot, or thirty foot, or however fucking tall Megatron is--he’s very tall. Anyway--I would like you to stop for moment and say--HOW is any of this okay!?! [laughs]

S: That’s not how dams work! At all! Ever.

O: I guess we have to forgive the alien overlord for not understanding shi-Earth shit for a little while? [laughs]

S: Well, yeah, they probably don’t have water on Cybertron, maybe something else?

O: I don’t know.

S: Erm, I don’t know, there’s the sea of rust? I think there’s a mercury sea? It’s been a while since I actually looked at any of my, uh, the books--

O: Yeah, I don’t know.

S: -that go into Cybertron.

O: Uh, so [clears throat] the Autobots show up, by flying to the rescue.

S: Question mark, question mark, question mark. [sighs]

O: This will not be consistent, later in the series they make it relatively clear that only the Decepticons are able to fly, so, yeah this is fun.

S: Yeah, yeah. With the exception of Swoop, Skyfire, and Sideswipe’s jetpack. [Specs forgot to mention the Aerialbots among a few others here.]

O: [laughs] We’ll get to that! So Hound goes swimming to try to get Rumble, and then Ironhide and Bumblebee attempt to channel the water [from the dam] by shooting at the ground using Ironhide’s BUTT BEAM.

S: [laughs]

O: I mean trunk gun! [laughs]

S: [laughs] Aha, butt beam--

O: [laughs]

S: Butt beam, [laughs] butt beam! [laughs]

O: This works...somehow, even though the channels cannot possibly be that deep!

S: I mean, it’s a valid--it’s a valid strategy but I don’t understand how it would work cause they’re just like, zzt, zzt, zzt, zzt, zzzt! It’s sending things off at sort of weird right angles?

O: It just, it just doesn’t look very ‘effective,’ is the word I think I’m looking for.

S: Yes.

O: But anyway, it works.

S: Somehow. Special ground penetrating laser.

O: [snorts] His BUTT ground penetrating laser. [laughs]

S: [laughs] I don’t know, maybe it’s the same damn laser that comes out of his back later?

O: Ugh, body parts are weird. [laughs] The Autobots go to attack the dam, which is where--or the power plant in the dam, whatever. Where the Decepticons are now and they blast through a wall, door, something, anyway the point of this is--

S: I think it was already open.

O: Oh, okay, well, we see them shooting at what can only be described as Starscream and his mini me. [laughs]

S: [laughs] Yeah, they um, there were lots and lots of animation errors.

O: There’s about to be more! [laughs] So, we then cut to a shot that includes four Reflectors, three Rumbles, and Soundblaster. Allow me to break this down for why this does not work.

S: [laughs]

O: There are only three Reflectors, they’re-they’re the three little guys that turn into the camera. Uh, Rumble is in the water, and there’s only one of him. Soundblaster doesn’t even show up in Generation 1, but he’s basically the upgrade of Soundwave, um, and he’s basically just black. So they color Soundblaster [Owl’s meant Soundwave here] black for this shot.

S: Yeah, and I mean making you go back to rewatch this bit to confirm, confirm it, and the Starscream mini me was kind of hilarious, because your reaction. [laughs]

O: Basically was--what the hell am I looking at? And how do you fuck up this badly!?! [laughs]

S: They’re surprisingly versatile at fucking up really badly.

O: Oh yeah, Soundblaster’s gonna show up multiple frickin’ times, because apparently we can’t color Soundwave right. And then--Megatron, er, Optimus Prime comes busting in and I swear to god he tells Megatron the Cybertronian equivalent of, ‘to fuck off’--

S: [laughs]

O: And it’s beautiful. [laughs]

S: Yup. And then battle breaks out, there’s some elegant gymnastics by Mirage as he battles against, I think Skywarp and Thundercracker?

O: All I know is he’s like flippin’ all over the place [laughs]

S: Yeah, it’s a 10 out of 10 and completely ignores that these weirdos could fly like, five minutes ago. O: [laughs]

S: Because they’re on this catwalk? [laughs]

O: [laughs] And they’re all fine, but they don’t seem to attempt to fly?

S: Yes, cause MIrage gets knocked off, he grabs hold of it [the railing] and does some fancy ass backflips back on and then tosses some other person off, it’s like, yeah...

O: So then, Optimus Prime pursues Megatron, and Megatron Mufasas Optimus Prime, or at least tries to, because, if you’ll remember, like, a shot ago, or two, Optimus Prime was flying. They were ALL FLYING! And everyone’s going to forget that for like, three minutes, because they’re idiots. [laughs]

S: Yup, and Optimus gets to channel some awesome John Wayne around this area.

O: He does sound very John Wayne-ish here.

S: So Starscream shows up with a slingshot to a gunfight but instead of targeting anyone he just shoots it at the machinery.

O: And it works kind of. I-I don't know what's going on here. [laughs]

S: It sets off some sort of chain reaction I think and Megatron is like kind of pissed about it.

O: When is he not pissed at Starscream I think is the better question here.

S: Yeah that's true. That's true.

O: Anyway! So we cut to Megatron and Optimus Prime, um, on top of the dam doing a cunning impersonation of the Rock'em sock'em robots.

S: They truly do. They're just Rock'em sock'em roboting it up, man.

O: And bonking each other on top of the head.

S: So much bonk.

O: So much bonk.

S: It's like the only damn sound effect that they paid the Foley artist for and they were like this will work for everything

O: [laughs] We have to use it for everything! We've only got this one sound effect. Umm, so, then we get to some quality dialogue between Optimus Prime and Megatron with Optimus being like, “You destroy Everything You Touch, Megatron!” and Megatron giving one of my favorite lines I've ever heard him say which is, [terrible Megatron impersonation] “Everything I touch is food for my hunger, my hunger for power!” and I'm just like what the hell am I listening to!?! [laughs]

S: Yeah, and then Meg--Megs and Op fight with weapons that never really show up again, though they do show up in toys that get sold.

O: Toys, uh, they also show up to some degree in, ah, in some of the games later, like Optimus very frequently is using an axe in the games.

S: Oh, and I think--that they might show up in the movie?

O: They might, I dunno.

S: They might, it's been awhile since I watched that.

O: I try to forget I did!

S: Well, are we talking about the cartoon or the Michael Bay movie or do you want to forget--

O: Um, all of them? All of them. [laughs] Anyway, so we cut back to Hound, who's been under water too long apparently? Spike is getting worried?

[Disclaimer: Bumblebee was not out at the time of this recording but we both enjoyed it!.]

S: So he decides that he's going to dive down and help like, his friend the 20-foot tall giant robot.

O: Right! But before that, Hound and Rumble are fighting underwater which basically means Hound ends up with a bunch of rocks on top of him.

S: Somehow.

O: And Megatron finally knocks Optimus Prime off the dam and then he hela-flails the fuck out of there. By this I mean he's swinging the flail above his head, as he like, flies off off the dam. So it kind of looks like like he's flying through the power of hela-flailing!

S: [laughs] Oh the hela-flail, the good old hela-flail.

O: We never see it again. [laughs]

S: Yeah, and then Prime can’t swim again, it’s like water’s his greatest enemy and Jazz needs to rescue him again.

O: Because Optimus is failing at the doggy paddle. [laughs]

S: Yeah, [laughs] he just fucking fails [quietly] oh my God.

O: So--Spike finally reaches Hound, who stuck under rocks, uh, and he moves a rock, underwater in this really, really strong current and I don't know how any of this works--Spike is superhuman!

S: God, I’d almost say he's techno-organic like Sari, [from Transformers Animated] but...

O: [Cackles] Nope, nope--we’re several series off from that!

S: Yeah and I mean, yeah it wouldn't work anyway [snorts] but maybe someone's written fanfiction about it?

O: I mean..would it make some amount of sense? Yes?

S: Possibly, I mean, Sparkplug’s like the world's most interesting man.

O: [laughs] I built a robot in my youth--totally! This is my son. Although, it does kind of beg the question why he would be named Sparkplug and his son would be named Spike, but whatever. Anyway--so uh, Spike saves Hound. Umm, Hound proceeds to give Spike a suggestive back massage to say thank you. [laughs]

S: Well after lifting him to the surface because Spike was like--I need air!

O: There were hand motions.

S: There were hand gestures involved. And yeah this is like the--one of the classic suggestive screenshots this fandom is sort of...maybe not famous for but it’s like one of the--one of the classic ones if you go look for you know, suggestive screenshots.

O: I would like to take a moment to remind you that all of the robots for being inappropriate Spike here. [laughs] Please make them stop. Spike needs an adult. A real adult, not a fucking robot. Anyway, we cut to the Decepticons stealing energy from various locations, uh, Soundwave is Soundblaster again.

S: Um-hm.

O: Oh, there's a whole bunch of Seekers, I have no idea who they are--they're all over the place. There's one shot that's like, are they stealing from trees? There doesn't seem to be an energy source here but okay...

S: There's, yeah, there's a lot of inconsistency running around and it's not very clear.

O: It really isn't.

S: We won’t see any of these other Seekers again.

O: No--well, I think they might pop back up in the back of like other shots?

S: Maybe, but it's never explained.

O: It's never explained. It seemed pretty clear like, how many Decepticons Megatron had with him, then all these other random ones pop up and we’re like where are these coming from?

S: Why are there duplicates?

O: Yeah that too! Why are there 3 Rumbles?

S: Four rumbles actually if we consider that one of them is under water.

O: [Quietly] True. [Normal] So uh, Starscream gets the brilliant of--shooting rocks...rather inefficiently uh, making his spouse mad--I mean his boss.

S: And he’s do--well, he's doing super questionable science cause I mean I don't see him writing anything down. Which I mean, this is relevant in future episodes where it’s revealed--Starscream was a scientist and explorer.

O: You would think this would mean he'd know how to science but we don't really see him science very very often. So, while the Decepticons are arguing, uh, Trailbreaker is spying on them--I mean jacking into Megatron's brain waves, again and, uh, Sparkplug and Spike are in tow for some reason?

S: Hound and Trailbreaker are just super good at overhearing things with their little radio dishes.

O: You-You’d think there be like a blocker or that the Decepticons would have a blocker for this and/or the Decepticons would utilize a similar technique but they don't they usually just send in Laserbeak.

S: [laughs] Hey, he's versatile.

O: He is!

S: And-and Mirage is the spy and we don't really see him eavesdropping on the Decepticons but you did make a good point, which is that he turns invisible so…

O: Yeah, well he can turn invisible so maybe we wouldn't *see* him

S: True.

O: Uh, Megatron and Starscream continue to squabble some more. Uh, at which point Megatron is like, “Assemble the strike force!” or at least I think that was Megatron and we waste a perfect chance for a Decepticon roll call. Waste!

S: Absolutely wasted. And then the Decepticons are on the move, attacking Trailbreaker and the Witwickys. Cuz that's what you do when you’re giant alien robots who are also evil. And then Sunstreaker and Sideswipe arrive to help chase the Decepticon Seekers off basically by, uh, sort of ending up on either side of Trailbreaker and then Sunstreaker’s butt gun comes out. [laughs]

O: [laughs] There's a lot of butt guns in the show what the hell?

S: Trunk gun, trunk gun. [laughs]

O: Trunk gun [laughs]

S: And it's like Sunstreaker’s and Sideswipe’s breakout characterization moment where Sunstreaker’s, “I want to be pretty” stuff comes out and Sideswipe’s just like, “Everything's a joke.” Turn left, only make left-hand turns are right hand turns or whatever.

O: The Decepticons are now mining rubies and making it energon cubes from them.

S: Somehow, yes.

O: Somehow. But this gets better because suddenly we cut to Megatron who while talking about these rubies proceeds to shower himself with...the rubies. Not once--but twice! [laughs]

S: Um-hmm.

O: As I said, rubies are warlord's best friend.

S: And I wrote a haiku. [laughs]

O: Yes!

S: Rubies glitter in A warlord's eye fly they must To please fiendish mind

O: So then we cut back to the Auto...bots. Everything is wrong with his shot. Everything.

S: There's so much. Ratchet’s head isn't colored in and then-then Bumblebees out front but..

O: Also there's another Autobot which we think is Blue Streak--with Bumblebee’s head and by head I mean it's colored yellow and then Ironhide for some inexplicable reason, is topless. And by topless I mean he's colored the wrong color but it makes them look topless!

S: He's gray, his-his chest is colored gray so he looks like he's just, like, unpainted.

O: [laughs]

S: Which is probably the Cybertronian equivalent to being topless? Unless having your armor taken off is the Cybertronian equivalent?

O: So, Bumblebee and Sparkplug are basically picked the infiltrate the mine, to blow it up. Uhh, Sparkplug has worked here to apparently?

S: He’s the world's most interesting man. I mean we came to that conclusion with--hey, he's done oil rigs, he's worked here, where else has he worked? Has he been a secret service agent?

O: I wouldn't doubt it [laughs] considering!

S: Yeah, I mean comic Sparkplug just owns an auto shop. Cartoon Sparkplug is the op--action dude

O: He’s--[an] action hero. [laughs] So basically, while they're trying to sneak in, we see the two Seekers and they’re basically talking about how they want to go home, my poor bois. Uh, the explosion is set but then Thundercracker and Skywarp block the exit and bully the bee...again!

S: With much Bonk because, yeah.

O: Again, it’s the only sound effect they paid for.

S: Yeah. [laughs]

O: So then Optimus sends in Roller, which is like, his little baby, tiny robot that lives in his trailer. And he sends Roller in after Bumblebee and uh--

S: Sparkplug.

O: Thank you. Uh, and then explosions happen.

S: Because of that, uh, that highly technical explosive that they got from Wheeljack, but-

O: Which was set to go off in 60 Seconds?

S: Yes.

O: Which doesn't seem like enough time.

S: Well, you'd think that Bumblebee would be better at infiltrating things, considering that in, like, most of the other generations he's actually considered to be part of the-the infiltration team or something.

O: So shit explodes. Uh, the Decepticons are buried uh, and this knocks Optimus Prime off a hill which is where the episode ends. The next episode, uh, we should to, “Illusions Michael!”, Optimus Prime nearly dying, purple spaceship the second, and ROBOTS IN SPACE (kind of).

S: Kinda.

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs] Yeah and then, yeah.

O: [quietly] Shenanigans will insue.

S: Many shenanigans and also the world's most surprising parachute.

O: [laughs] Yes. All right Specs--what is our fanfic for the week?

S: Okay well, our two fanfiction recommendations for the week are the, “Grunt’s Guide to Warfare,” by Tirya King. Which is set in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated T, it's Gen so there aren't any pairings and the characters are the G1 cast. The summary is, “G1 Some things are universal throughout the galaxy the rules of warfare being some of them. If you wish to be a proper soldier you must learn these very important laws and incorporate them throughout your daily life.” And so, the characters or theme rec for this one was Murphy's Law because so much goes wrong in this episode.

O: Just...so much goes in this episode. [laughs]

S: Yeah...yeah, and then our second recommendation for today is, “Earth studies 101,” by Vaeru. Which is a G1 alternate universe, rated T, and no pairings so it's Gen. Uh, the main characters are an OC, so Evelyn, and uh, the G1 cast. So, it’s--in summary, “It’s a Transformers AU, it’s a Sparkbearer side story,” and if you were listening last week I recommended the first part which ss, “Transformers Juxtaposition” [naturally, also by Vaeru] so to continue the summary, “Professor Evelyn Hughes is accustomed to teaching linguistics but when one is friends with a crew of giant Alien robots one must be prepared to teach lessons of a very different sort. Drabbles and one shots,” and the theme for this one was, “We know Earth better than you!” That quote.

O: [laughs] Will live in infamy.

S: It will! But so those are our recommendations for today. I hope you enjoy them I mean review the fics and let the authors know that you liked it.

O: I think we're going to be doing fan art every other episode since we're doing artists instead of stories and it's just less of them overall. [Instead of just doing a few art pieces we’re recommending a singular artist.]

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check out our Tumblr at Afterspark-Podcast.tumblr.com for any additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and SoundCloud and YouTube at AftersparkPodcast. Till next time!

O: I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And come back and we'll talk to you more about giant robots.

S: Toodles!

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