#are so long and difficult and tedious that you never feel like you're making progress so it's like you're ignoring all the other stuff you

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some recent pressed leaves and stuff to add to the collection :0

#LOV giant nasturtium leaves #and they press weirdly thin like when they dry out it's almost like a super super fragile sheet of tracing paper or something #I also just really enjoy collecting textures and patterns and stuff. like it's not really about them looking pretty but more just #something notable. like the cool dotted pattern or the stripey veiny looking one #I have so much I want to get done by the end of the year but have been so unproductive still lol ToT #I've had new costumes and like Actual Stuff To Post for probably 2 months now but they just sit in a folder and I forget about #them and like walk in circles talking to myself all day instead or something hhh #I think it's the classic cycle of like 'I am too stressed to be productive > the fact that i'm not being productive stresses me out > i am #even more stressed and no more productive > being unproductive stresses me out > so on and so forth forever' lol #or the 'I have so many goals in life and so much motivation and so many things I love and want to do > there are too many things to do #at once and it's overwhelming > do none of them instead' cycle lol #I think my main focuses in the new year though are to finally finish the worldbuilding slideshow. Do more costumes. And do more sculptures #since I haven't done a lot of those in a while. And still work on my games and short stories and stuff that takes place in my worldbuilding #world but those are more difficult longterm tasks so I think they should be like. not the MAIN main focus or else I'll never feel like I do #anything. I think that was the problem for the past while is that the things I had delegated as my Main Focuses That Go Above All Else #are so long and difficult and tedious that you never feel like you're making progress so it's like you're ignoring all the other stuff you #could be doing in favor of a thing that feels like you're not doing anything thus you get a chronic feeling of never finishing anything ever #Whereas like. I can do a sculpture in a day or two. and I can do costumes in a day or less. Having a steadier flow of Small Things i can fee #l like I'm actually accomplishing will maybe help it not just be like 'okay I spent a whole day doing somehting and have nothing tangible to #show for it because it's just text in a word document that probably nothing will ever even come of because it will take me years to finish' #The biggest insurmountable task at the moment is the worldbuilding slideshow but I am chugging through.. slowly lol.. It takes me about #2 hours to read 25 slides (they're not bullet points it's like little paragraphs on each slide). and I have about 800 to go. so thats.. #naur.. i shant even calculate it... plus editing one hour of vidoe usually takes about 2 hours so you double it. if I have that much recordi #ng of me reading slides to edit. then turning them all into a final video should take.... i cannot say. i shall not think of it #And I've just had a very stressful few weeks HOWEVER I just always like tp start the new year with stuff cleared like.. all of my messages I #haven't answered in 3+ weeks responded to. all of my emails to my doctors checked. house cleaned and organized. photos cleared and organized #off of the computer. everyting backed up in some sort of physical storage. clear out drafts. rewrite all of my main todo lists. decide prio #rities and yearly/monthly/weekly goals. consider the trajectory of my life and what I need to do. etc. etc. So I feel like I don't have any #time to waste and can't rest. yet.. alas.. It doesn't help that I feel sick out of nowehre like 50% of the time #I know some poeple can work/focus on tasks with body aches and etc. but my brain is just always like 'No. :)' .. grrrbb

[karume-everything-else]

Whumptober 2023

Day 5: Overhearing a Caretaker mildly complaining [Reader x Fatgum (Taishiro Toyomitsu)] {My Hero Academia}

A broken bone was never any fun, especially when you were just a civilian. Not like you couldn't get special treatments available for Pro Heroes, but your injury was at the point that slow healing was better for it. Recovery Girl herself told you that a quick recovery could make the bone extra brittle for a time. Given your job, that wasn't an option.

The worst part of this was your partner was taking time off to help you. It made you feel so guilty that Tai was watching over you instead of going out and doing his hero work. No matter how often you tried convincing him otherwise, this was where he was insisting on being until you could walk around on a boot.

"I just don't know what else to do." Tai's voice cut through your power nap, "[Name] has been doing alright sure, but it seems like their leg isn't getting any better."

You tried just staying still, Taishiro never let on how much he was worried about your progress or how this might affect his career. He was usually so comforting and gentle, but never very--

"It's getting a little tedious, I just don't know what else to do." He seemed to be talking to someone on the phone, maybe it was Recovery Girl... or one of his friends, "If there was something I could do to make it easier... Obviously, my hero work is slacking, but I can't just leave them to their own devices. Risk them getting hurt again, not a chance."

His voice faded again as you could hear his footsteps wander down the hall. Passing right by the bedroom while he did... whatever he was doing right now. Everything you heard made your stomach churned with guilt and anxiety. Though you definitely needed to talk to him about this.

Though bringing this up was not going to be easy, at all.

"Tai," You sat up carefully when he entered the room, "There's something I gotta ask."

"Hm?" He perched on the edge of the bed, careful to not jostle you too much, "What's up sweetheart?"

Looking him in the eye was so much more difficult, "About you not doing your hero wo--"

"[Name], sweetie. Please don't worry about that." His hand rested on your knee, "It's not a problem for me to be watching over you until you're better."

"But I'm not getting better, and you're just wasting time here when I can do for myself now." You were barely able to look at him, "Sure I'm not in the best shape, but I can do for myself."

Taishiro frowned a little, "This isn't a debate. I know you can, but there's always a chance that you get hurt worse while I'm away. I'd never forgive myself for that."

"And I can't stand by while you spend all this time here." You leaned forward, "You already have a full-time job that isn't looking after me. I get that your sidekicks can hold down the fort for awhile, but that can only get you so far."

"That isn't your problem to solve," Tai tried soothing you, "I adore that you care so much and worry. But you don't need to. My hero career will be fine, I promise."

"But I'm not getting any better!" You barked, "What if it takes too long? What if you're just wasting your time? What if I'm just holding you back? How long are you gonna act like I'm not just a burden?"

He paused, "[Name], none of that is true and you know it. I'm here because I want to be, because I care about you. I'm here because you matter to me, alright? Please stop trying to convince me of this, its never going to work, I promise you that."

You knew Tai was right, but that didn't stop you from feeling this way. Especially since you were hardly any use whether you were healthy or not. But finally looking up at Tai broke you a little. He was always super sweet, of course he wouldn't see you like that. It was just how he was...

And you would have to leave this topic alone, there was no talking Tai out of this.

#x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha fatgum #bnha taishiro #mha #mha fatgum #mha taishiro #fatgum x y/n #fatgum x you #fatgum #fatgum x reader #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #taishiro toyomitsu #whumptober 2023