#ask.mj

[dichromaticdyke]

mtl episode where for diversity and inclusion reasons charles makes the band put their pronouns in their email signatures. Nathan's are "he or whatever", pickles' are "he but not in a cis way" toki uses "han/ham" and ends up getting in a fight w/ murderface over neopronouns (murderfaces are nor/mal) and skwisgaar refuses to uses pronouns bc you may not refer to them

FUCKING HELP LKAHFLKSDFH

#ask.mj #hotdadsclub #best random ask i've ever gotten #i also have my own fairly similar pronoun hcs but these are even better #Metalocalypse #Nathan Explosion #Pickles the Drummer #Toki Wartooth #William Murderface #Skwisgaar Skwigelf

[dichromaticdyke]

A FELLOW AUTISTIC SKWISGAAR TRUTHER im yelling. You are always soooo correct about everything everyone make some noise for skwisgaar "i don't like flavour" skwigelf hes just like me fr ✂️

YES YES HE'S SO AUTISM

that's part of why i'm drawn to him, i think. he has a similar brand of autism to me (standoffish, speaks without thinking, quiet, loner, special interest mindset grindset). and i love that he "doesn't like flavor" but he still has his safe foods. beef broth, herring, lemon (but as a tooth paste), and like every type of jerky. also coffee of course. and cigarettes. to ME.

he and nate both have a similar brand of autism which is why i love writing their povs and love their interactions. they both arguably care the most about music. they all do, don't get me wrong!! but it's telling that the only ones who actually created a new music side project after the band broke up were nate and skwis. neither of them can live without it. also the fact that skwisgaar wasn't signed on as a guitarist but as a PRODUCER makes me giggle and kick my feet.

honestly they all have autism imo.

#ask.mj #beloved anon #actually autistic #Metalocalypse #Skwisgaar Skwigelf #Nathan Explosion #✂️ anon

[dichromaticdyke]

24 with murdertooth if you’re still doing the soft otp asks :]

24- Write about your ship cuddling.

ty for this i do NOT write enough murdertooth and i need to fix that fr (bear4wolf rights)

"Uh..." William looked down at Toki, who had laid his head on his shoulder and began absently running his hands along William's stomach. He had a bad habit of doing that when he got nervous. The first few times, William had thought Toki had been making fun of him. But he never truly minded it—as long as no one else was around. "Schomethin' on your mind?" he asked.

Toki yawned. "Nos." He pressed his head into William's hair.

He didn't buy it. "C'mon, Toki, you only do this when shomethin's upsetting you. If you're just fuckin' with me—"

"Nos!" Toki sat up straighter, seemingly affronted by the insinuation. "I's was just tireds! Ams dat a problems?"

"You have a bed if you're so tired." He crossed his arms. If Toki's bad habit was annoying, William's own bad habit of shoving away anyone who tried to show him affection. If that's what this was, anyway. He had a hard time believing anyone would seek affection from him.

"Murdaface...," Toki said in an almost sing-songy voice, wrapping both his arms around William's torso in an attempt to get closer to him.

William turned his head. He didn't shove him off. He could have. But he didn't.

"Hm..." Toki brushed his hand under William's hair, fingers just barely grazing his neck. "Tiger," he whispered, "can'ts I just cuddles with yous? Just as...pals?"

He didn't want to think about the way Toki called him tiger, how it send shivers down his spine. How his gentle touch was so devastating but so needed that it almost made him breathless. How—and maybe this was just wishful thinking on his part—Toki's hesitation in calling him his pal seemed to imply something more. Something deeper. He looked back at him, embarrassed about how Toki's ice blue doe eyes stared at him so earnestly.

No one had ever looked at him that way before.

"Ugh. Fine." He reluctantly wrapped an arm around Toki's back, pulling him closer. "But you better not fucking tell anyone elsche about thisch, got it?"

"Okays." He rested his head on William's shoulder again. "You just so cozies, tiger..."

Toki fell asleep pretty quickly. William could've shoved him off of him once the light snores started. But Toki still had an iron grip around him, and William wasn't ready to let this closeness go.

#ask.mj #midtown-cowboys #Metalocalypse #fanfic #Toki Wartooth #William Murderface #murdertooth #made by mj #also shout out to that one headcanon about toki calling mf tiger slkdfhlskdf i had to include it it's so cute #also still trying to figure out how i write murderface so i hope you like it <3 <3 my number one murderface mutual

[dichromaticdyke]

20 for Nickles...... 🫣

20- Write about your ship sneaking a romantic moment together.

so just for context, this is probably happening at around s1 era.

Pickles let out a relieved sigh once the final recordings of the album were sent off to Crystal Mountain Records. "Well," he said. "I guess that's it, then. Album's gonna come out in a few months."

"Fucking finally," Nathan replied. "Felt like we've been working on that one for ages."

"Well, yea. You kept deleting all the files, remember?" Pickles nudged him in the ribs with his elbow.

"It wasn't perfect yet." He shoved Pickles's elbow away.

"Yea, yea, I know all about it." He looked back at the rest of the band, who didn't seem to be paying much attention to the finalization of the record--Skwisgaar was playing his guitar as usual, William was idly stabbing at the couch, and Toki was playing some sort of video game. "Wanna celebrate?" he whispered.

Nathan glanced back at the rest of the band too. "You mean, going drinking?" he muttered back. "With those dickweeds?"

"Nope." Pickles tugged at his bicep a bit, gesturing for him to follow him out of the recording studio. Nathan followed begrudgingly, and when the door shut, separating them from the rest of their band, Pickles handed him the flashdrive with the master recordings on it. "Keep an eye on this, will ya? Yer the only one I trust with it."

Nathan frowned, taking it in his hand. "Me?"

"Yea. Ya deleted pretty much everything we'd been working on, I figure this one's probably gotta be the best thing we could possibly have, right? Plus, I even got one of the Klokateer geeks to recover 'Thunderhorse' and the other Viking Trilogy songs."

"Okay, but...why?"

Pickles leaned in close to Nathan, his goatee brushing just so against Nathan's jawline. "'Cause I trust ya, dummy. And I don't wanna lose any song we wrote together." He leaned back again, giving Nathan his signature crooked grin. "Don't deleted those too, okay? I'll seriously kill ya."

"I know. I won't." Nathan pocketed the flashdrive. "So...wanna start planning our friender-bender?"

An image far too risqué to ever say aloud flashed in Pickles's mind, and he nodded.

#ask.mj #sexystevebuscemi #fanfic #Metalocalypse #nickles #Nathan Explosion #Pickles the Drummer #made by mj

[dichromaticdyke]

🗣 - Silly question, especially since this is your blog and you can say/do whatever, but is there anything you've always wanted to talk about/say/ramble on about Skwisgaar that you feel like you've never had the chance or right opportunity to talk about?

*deep sigh* what a can of worms.

skwisgaar with the yard wolves. wolves are the ones who led him to his guitar, who chased him into the hole where he would find his destiny. they were there when he re-learned his destiny, standing with him as he become the first member of the band to learn of his divine nature. the wolves are there with him when no one else is. he's not a lone wolf, as much as he wants to believe he is. he has to run with a pack, just as the swedish wolves and the yard wolves do.

birds of prey. his ancient animal form being a white owl or falcon, the flash of the hawk or falcon or whatever (i'm not a birder idk what these are someone help me) in his "Ams a God" song along with the wolves. his freedom, his ability to tear anyone else apart, but his ultimate grace winning out.

the fact that he has the most drastic wardrobe shift from anyone else. the white-on-white with a swedish belt buckle contrasted to the rest of dethklok's dark colors, signalling him as an outsider, a foreigner, someone on the fringes of the band. he doesn't even speak in any of these flashbacks until he's arguing why he should be the only guitarist of dethklok. and not only does he change his tune on that, but realizing that he does need another guitarist to elevate himself is what finally gives him a connection to the rest of the band, shedding his white-on-white and swedish belt bucklet to darker clothes and a skull, more closely matching the aesthetics of everyone else.

his passion for playing guitar overriding anything else. his drive for perfection, even at the risk of his own body. i can't remember the exact moment i decided skwisgaar was mine, but if i had to guess, it would be the skydiving moment for that exact reason. he's dedicated to his craft, no matter what, in a way that no one else in the band can match.

he's goofy more than anything, and he longs for approval. he struggles both with his language barrier and his undiagnosed autism, but he desperately wants everyone else's approval, though he'd never admit it. the way he gets defensive and angry when no one likes his idea for murderface's gift always stands out to me. his debilitating insecurity goes beyond just guitar. it took years, but he does want to be included in the band, he does want to be friends and family with these idiots, but he's scared of abandonment and he has walls up by default.

he was in a million bands. they all either broke up, kicked him out, or he left. dethklok is the only one that worked out, and i think part of him always worried that they wouldn't. he got to a point with them that he felt like he didn't have to worry about that anymore, but then nate and pickles had to go and fuck that all up. he says, "i was gettings pretty used to dis gigs" as a wall, to act like he doesn't care, to try to convince himself not to care. but look at him in the press conference:

and look at him compared to the rest of the band:

he is visibly more upset than any of them. he cares about dethklok--the band, the music, his friends, his family--more than anything in the goddamn world. and it makes me fucking angry when people paint him as just the pretty, slutty, mean blond of the group, because he arguably has the biggest goddamn heart, he just hides it because of his fear of losing everything and his toxic masculinity. but fuck he loves them all so goddamn much.

#ask.mj #beloved anon #Metalocalypse #Skwisgaar Skwigelf #🗣 anon #THIS ISN'T EVERYTHING BTW. THERE'S SO GODDAMN MUCH. #but this is what was in my head at the moment of writing this

[dichromaticdyke]

23- Write about your ship supporting each other through a hard time. (Please with the scandigayvians <3 )

two of them... some post-DSR/pre-AOTD 💔

"I doesn't wants it," Toki said, shoving away the food Jean-Pierre had prepared for him, that Skwisgaar had then brought to his hospital room. It wasn't Skwisgaar's job to feed Toki, but ever since the rescue, he'd been looking for excuses to visit him during his recovery. "I amn'ts hungries."

It wasn't surprising how erratic Toki had gotten since his rescue. He had always been nearly impossible to predict, but now? Now, when Toki was even thinner than Skwisgaar, his muscles barely clinging to bone, his pupil distorted...

Skwisgaar didn't know when he'd become so familiar with Toki's appearance. He didn't know when the Norwegian had clawed his way into his heart. He didn't know why watching Toki refuse to take care of himself felt like a personal attack.

"You's gotsta eats," he reminded him. "You hasn't eatsted in..." He paused. He still couldn't remember when Toki's rescue exactly was.

"I hates all da foods dey gives me," Toki grumbled. "Alls dese vegestables ands flavorless meats. Amn'ts good."

"Wells, what else ams dey supposeds to gives you? You can'ts has sugars, Tokis—"

"Yes I cans! My blood sugars ams too lows, da doctors said sos."

"Dens fuckings eats somethings!" Skwisgaar pressed his palms to his face. "Why... Why doesn't you fuckings eats somethings?" he asked, quietly this time, his voice a whisper. "Doesn't... Doesn't you wants to gets betters?"

Toki was silent, and Skwisgaar could only hear his own harried breathing. He didn't want to look at him—he didn't want to see the sad, nearly waifish husk of the person he cared about so much.

It wasn't metal to care. But he did.

"Skwisgaar...," Toki finally whispered.

Skwisgaar forced himself to look at the man in the hospital bed, forced himself to swallow his pride and look at what had happened to him while he and Dethklok were partying around the world. "Ja?"

"How..." He paused. "How's ams I supposed to knows you won'ts throws it aways just when I's abouts to eats it?"

Skwisgaar was taken aback, his mouth falling open. "I... Why woulds you thinks I would does dat?"

"I don't knows... I just has dese dreams of...of someones takings my foods away...when I sos hungries..." He sniffed, turning his face away. "And whoevers it am, it ams someones what means a lots to mes."

Skwisgaar looked away from Toki then. The words left unsaid were too much to bear. "Waits heres."

"Where I gonna goes?"

Skwisgaar managed a smile, but it hurt too much to commit to. He left the room and came back just a couple minutes later. "Heres." He pressed a candy bar into Toki's hand before turning away.

"Where's you goings?" Toki asked.

Without looking at him, Skwisgaar said, "You needs to eats. You amn'ts gonna eats if you thinks someone's gonna takes it aways from yous, nej?" He left the room without another word, without waiting for a response. He pressed his back against the wall, shutting his eyes.

It was all too much for him to handle.

But the next time he visited him, the candy bar wrapper was in the waste bin, and Toki's blood sugar had spiked just a little bit.

#ask.mj #skwistokgetalongshirt #Metalocalypse #fanfic #Skwisgaar Skwigelf #Toki Wartooth #skwistok #made by mj

[dichromaticdyke]

For the character ask! How about Liz Baine!

OOOO OBSCURE BLORBO <3

Sexuality Headcanon: probably a lesbian why not Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: okay liz and lavona? i think we've got something there A BROTP I have with said character: i feel like she probably knows the blues devil. like, he gave her the $5 hot topic gift card he got from dethklok, then she gave it to pickles A NOTP I have with said character: idk can't really think of one lol A random headcanon: she probably knows a lot about the tribunal and the prophecy, which is why she wanted to kill dethklok. maybe she heard about it from the blues devil? owo General Opinion over said character: she was sooooo interesting. like i love seeing random cult leaders in the mtl just since mtl is essentially about a cult that's REAL, so it's interesting to see other cults in this world. PLUS??? SHE WAS ACTUALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO DESTROYING DETHKLOK THAT SALACIA HAD TO STOP HER. THAT'S THE ONLY TIME THIS EVER HAPPENS ASIDE FROM WHEN THEY BREAK UP, HOW INSANE IS THAT.

send me a character ♡

#ask.mj #claudia-nomusaabara #Metalocalypse #Liz Bane

[dichromaticdyke]

Do you have any Murdertooth thoughts/hcs :]

i think maybe they like. have a podcast together where they talk about music. do you know remember the uh the interview they did where they're reveiweing 7 songs and murderface thinkgs they suck and toki inuslts him for like no reason? it's like that, except they're talking for like an hour. and they still get int their silly arguments and negging but they'er both into it (kinky i mean lol).

toki would probably want to get tattoos to match murderface's. not exactl y the same i mean, bu t he thinks the womb tattoo is sexy :) and he holds murderface's hand the whole time he's getting tattoo'd.

maybe he gets a slutty tramp stamp too idk lol. like that says something about murderface.

they're silly.i think toki would want to watch horror movies with him. murderface would be scared but try to act tough and toki can tell he's just acting so he plays a long. they cuddle real soon :)

#ask.mj #midtown-cowboys #murdertooth

[dichromaticdyke]

you said you werent sure where toki was jacking off in that screenshot-- the bricks look identical to the bricks in the shower room they threw toki into in s2e19 when he was drunk off his ass, so maybe there?

this is gonna be a long response, so it's going under the cut. because when i say @supersaturnnyoomkitty and i have talked about this A LOT, i'm NOT JOKING. but, yes, for a reminder to those who follow me for completely different reasons: when analyzing this scene, i threw that line in as a throwaway, because it's definitely not Toki's room, and the only important thing of note is that he's getting the fuck away from the creepy photos of his parents.

the bricks are a different color and shape, and there aren't any pictures or posters anywhere to be seen.

here's everwhere in mordhaus where we thought it could be: outside the recording studio, the room where facebones addresses the klokateers, and, of course, the bathroom* (*the bathroom theory is way more complicated than it should be).

so, we'll probably never know, because brendon small refuses to email us back, but here are some of our theories as to each of these places.

1- outside the recording room. he's listening to skwisgaar play. now i'm not just saying that because i'm a trash skwistok shipper, i'm also saying that because toki obviously has a very strong attachment to skwisgaar's guitar playing. call it romantic, call it idol worship, call it whatever you want, it doesn't matter—in the credits for Dethalbum III, he thanked skwisgaar's fingers, and his only plans for vacation post-album release were watching skwisgaar play guitar. he's got a problem. (this also goes into my and nyoom's theories about them all having jack-off songs, spawned from her fic "Sensual Playback", don't worry about it, it's not important right now.)

2- the gathering room of klokateers/full dethstaff meetings. uh. that's just. well.

how do you want me to take this anon? do you want me to be serious about this? do you want me to tell you how i've considered the possibility that toki just got as far the fuck away from the photos of his parents as he could and this is where he ended up? because that's my only theory for this. (this does also just sort of go with the fact that most of the walls in mordhaus look like this. it could be ANYWHERE. consider the gathering hall to just be a catch-all for, toki just being a little freak.)

moving swiftly on...

3- the bathroom thing is way more complicated than it should be, and here's why: there's a public/staff bathroom. we see it most prominently when they're all drinking bleach together, and it could very well be there. you mentioned this shower scene specifically:

and that scene is also near identical to murderface's own shower scene when he was scared of being gay (we even see more of the public bathroom in the background):

that would make sense, i guess. BUT—it's implied they all have their own bathrooms, right? pickles and murderface both do, anyway:

not sure why murderface would shower in the public bathroom when he's having his gay panic and you'd think he'd want to be as far away from naked men as possible, but that's not my business.

side note: i just noticed for the first time that murderface took his shorts all the way off to take a shit, but left his demonias on. this man i stg—

i find it hard to believe toki also wouldn't have his own bathroom. i'm not sure if this scene is meant to be in the public bathroom or either murderface's or skwisgaar's, but it's also something to consider:

though, as i'm writing this, i'm coming to a realization that maybe they did all have their own bathrooms prior to the attack on mordhaus. i completely forgot they renovated the whole place. they might have gutted their personal bathrooms and replaced it with a public one, which is why all the showers and bathtubs seem to be there. the shower that toki's in might have been either his own, or a public one that was later expanded after the renovations. either way, i'm positive it's a public bathroom and not one that toki would have had, and i think that for one major reason:

toki's bedroom is so super tiny. especially compared to nathan's or william's bedroom. his bed is small and snug, also. i think he's never really needed anything that big for himself. he grew up extremely deprived and abused, just having anything that was truly his own was all he'd ever wanted. plus, maybe having to sleep in a massive space all by himself might've triggered his memories of being forced to stay alone in the punishment hole for days on end. of course, that's not to say toki doesn't love excess, but given how small his own bedroom is, i don't know where he would even be able to have his own private bathroom.

not to mention, in aotd, we see he doesn't like to go to the bathroom alone. sure, he's regressing in that moment, but i still don't think he likes to be alone, if he can help it—hence the stuffed animals and pictures of his parents (regardless of how creepy they are, at least he's not alone when they're staring at him).

i think that's my thesis of the whole thing, actually. toki's not being a creepy lil guy on purpose, i don't think. i just think he doesn't wanna jack off in front of his parents, but he also has hang-ups about being alone, so he goes to random places around mordhaus. it's not a kink thing, i'm like. 99% sure. i just think he's still trying to figure out how to be comfortable with himself.

plus, the boys were all ready to suck their own dicks together in the same room. i really don't think any of them would consider it all that weird, so long as toki himself doesn't act weird about it.

#ask.mj #beloved anon #Metalocalypse #Toki Wartooth #written in a fit of divine madness #why is this my life. what decisions did i make to get to this point. where did it all go wrong.

[dichromaticdyke]

Is the princess thing that skwisgaar is a princess/pillow princess/toki's princess/my princess/the most perfect princess of beautiful girl town? 👸🏼✂️

hehe yes definitely! but also 🤭 nsfw/suggestive beneath the cut

what @god-impeaching-dj and i are really invested in is the idea that skwisgaar calls toki daddy and toki calls skwisgaar princess. and it’s literally like a pavlovian response for skwisgaar. she could be going absolutely IN on toki for not practicing or being sloppy or whatever, and all toki has to do is say something like “cmon princess you don’t means dat~” and like a fucking light switch skwisgaar is like “sorries daddies didn’t means it 🥺” like goes full subspace horny mode for her fhdhfhshdhd toki abuses the hell out of it. and skwisgaar KNOWS it’s a problem, as soon as she snaps out of it, she goes to twinkletits to “un-pavlovs” her. it’s not working.

#ask.mj #beloved anon #skwistok #♀⚙️ #✂️ anon

[dichromaticdyke]

#12 and #14 so you can post your favorite ugly Skwisgaar face 😇

12:

14:

both from season 1 episode 1 “The Curse of Dethklok”

send me a number 1-1268 and i’ll give you my corresponding skwisgaar pic

#ask.mj #sexystevebuscemi #thank you for this 😭 he looks insane in the pilot #they love reusing assets why didn’t they ever reuse the bottom one ever again 😭

[dichromaticdyke]

F.from my main bc god hates me ( hi its kandi)

THIS WAS BLURRED BC I DONT FOLLWO UR MAIN... I HAD HOPED IT WA SPORN BU TTHIS IS GOOD ENOUGH. OMG GUYS LOOK AT THE FUCKIN HEY MAMAS TOKI X LIPSTICK LESBIAN PRINCESS SKWISGAAR ART LAKHFDLKSHDGKDLSGS

thsi is the best thing i've ever seen in my lfie... i lvoe them so much. thank you. idk how to tag this help me,

TOKI IS WEARING SKWISGAAR'S FLANNEL IM GNA LKSGHALKLEUHIQOGIOPUDKHG

sober edit: art by @god-impeaching-dj btw

#submission #big-anime-energy #ask.mj #scandilesbians #fanart #Metalocalypse #skwistok #Toki Wartooth #Skwisgaar Skwigelf #♀⚙️ #🩵

[dichromaticdyke]

Fic request! Toki and Skwisgaar go to Disney because they just REALLY want some Dole Whip but they get stuck on It’s A Small World for WAAAAY too long when the ride breaks down and they watch their sanity melt before their eyes like a Dole Whip in the sun. Will this bring them together or tear them apart?

this is too long to be a 3-sentence fic, but too short to be put on ao3, so let's just put most of this under the cut.

also, no one tell these idiots—you can buy premade dole whip mix. dole themselves even published the recipe, jean-pierre could've done it. the tragedy below could've been avoided 😔

"Can'ts believes you dumb dildo makes me goes all da way to Disneylands just for some fuckings ice creams," Skwisgaar grumbled as he and Toki reached hour one stuck on It's A Small World. "You ates four cups of it, you's already used you's inskulins, and dis damn songs ams gonna be stucks in mine head for eternities!"

"It ams okay," Toki replied, his voice completely uncertain and his face filled with terror. His eyes were wide and unfocused, staring blankly ahead at the lifeless dolls on the attraction. "Dey saids we woulds be movings shortly."

"Dey saids dat forty-five minutes agos!" Skwisgaar screeched. Someone in the row behind them kicked their seat, and Skwisgaar held his head in his hands. "I'ms gonna fuckings kills you, Toki."

"We's gonna be movings soons," Toki whispered. "We's gonna be movings soons..."

--

Hour two had come, and they had not, in fact, started moving. Skwisgaar couldn't tell if the song had sped up or if it had slowed down. Of course he didn't have his guitar on him—this was supposed to be nothing more than a trip for ice cream. Why did he listen to dumb dildo Toki and agree to get on just one ride?

If Skwisgaar had any faith that he would be able to beat Toki in a physical fight, he would strangle him right now. Instead, he considered how deep the water on the attraction was and if he should just swim out of there and leave Toki behind.

Toki. He hadn't moved this whole past hour, and he was still muttering to himself. At some point, he had stopped muttering in English and had switched to Norwegian, and he was too quiet for Skwisgaar to even attempt a guess at what he was saying. He was no stranger to Toki going catatonic in times of stress, but normally that was due to bicentennial quarters or a trigger from his childhood. This song was annoying for sure, but it wasn't like those creepy dolls were a particular trigger for him.

"Toki, ams you okays?" he asked. He hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder, and Toki didn't so much as flinch or look down. He seemed to be too far gone.

It was creepy. Swimming away was seeming more and more like the preferred option.

--

Two hours, fifty-seven minutes, and thirty-eight seconds in, and something in Toki finally snapped. "Alright you loud fucking dolls, I'll show you a world of laughter!" he screamed in Norwegian.

Skwisgaar jumped at Toki's outburst, unable to stop him as Toki stood up and jumped out of the boat and into the water. "Toki!" he yelled. "What ams you doesing?"

Toki couldn't hear him—he was swimming towards the stage with all the animatronic dolls. The song had cut off suddenly, and there was a frazzled voice over the PA system begging for him to stop. But whether Toki had temporarily gone deaf in his hysteria or was simply ignoring them was unclear. He surfaced at the end of the room, heaving himself up to the colorful stage. He grabbed hold of the nearest doll—one that appeared to be Danish—and smashed it against the wall.

Skwisgaar smiled a bit. "Dere you goes, Toki," he said. "Fucks de Dutch."

The lights turned on in the attraction, but this also didn't deter Toki, who was quickly moving to smash other dolls in his frenzy. Skwisgaar watched in terrified, yet impressed, awe as two security guards approached from behind one of the walls, immediately tasing Toki. He collapsed onto the ground, and Skwisgaar let out another chuckle. Poor Toki was going to be banned from Disney for life, he was sure.

#ask.mj #nyoomkitty #fanfic #Metalocalypse #Skwisgaar Skwigelf #Toki Wartooth #made by mj #endings are hard

[dichromaticdyke]

Havent sent you any messages in a couple of days so: toki definitely makes skwisgaar suck his fingers every time skwisgaar talks shit about his guitar playing ✂️ and you knowwww miss skwisgaar has no more complaints about tokis big hands when those fingers are so deep in the puss she feels it in her throat!!!!!

HEHEJSJFHD HELLLLLLLL YEAH the taste of guitar string metal and his bf’s fingers will make him change his tune REAL fast. as for the girlies. well.

hey

@god-impeaching-dj

weren’t we just talking about this 👁️👁️

#ask.mj #beloved anon #skwistok #♀⚙️ #✂️ anon

[dichromaticdyke]

Fic request/AU: Toki never auditioned for Dethklok and it’s always been a one guitar band and they are still world famous and wildly successful.

One night Skwisgaar hears something in the studio to find a spy has broken in! The spy who calls himself Toki is cornered and Skwisgaar takes the interrogation into his own hands to determine who this spy is and what he wants.

i wasn't sure where to take this, but you accidentally inspired a perfect concept in our dms.

With a sudden intake of breath, Skwisgaar snapped awake, still clutching his guitar in one hand and a notepad of scribbled tabs in another. This wasn't the first time he had fallen asleep in the studio while working on new Dethklok songs by himself, and he was certain it wouldn't be the last. Nathan and Pickles pulled their weight fine enough, but William was far too willing to get complacent with his own output. At times like this, he wondered if he should have let Dethklok become a two-guitar band.

He stretched his arms over his head, eager to get back to his firm bed that would, hopefully, realign his spine after it had been bent over the desk for the better part of eight hours. In doing so, he caught sight of something in the corner of his eye. He tightened his grip on the neck of his guitar—he wasn't normally wary of intruders, knowing full well that Klokateers had methods of keeping them out, but that didn't stop his instinctual worry.

As he stood, he heard a slight high-pitched noise, almost like a yelp, coming from behind a few stereo speakers. He charged in the direction of it, his guitar held high above his head. Behind the speakers, he saw, was a man—a man with long brown hair and white and black face paint on.

"Jeg beklager!" the man cried as Skwisgaar cornered him. "Jeg beklager!"

Skwisgaar sneered, slowly lowering his guitar. "Norska?" he asked.

The man nodded, hesitantly.

"Eugh." Great. If there was one group of people he hated more than the Danish, it was the Norwegians.

"I didn't mean to scare you," the man continued in Norwegian. "I just—I had to—"

"This is a secure compound," Skwisgaar told him in Swedish. "No one should be here—especially not Norwegian black metal wannabes."

"I'm not a wannabe!" The man crossed his arms over his chest. "My name is Toki Wartooth, and I'm the lead guitarist of Horse's Dick!"

Skwisgaar grimaced at the name. "I'm sure it sounds like dildos. How hard could it be to be a black metal lead guitarist?" he asked with an eye roll. "Don't you have a church to burn down or something? Get out of here."

"No!" Toki grabbed onto Skwisgaar's wrist. "I came all this way!"

"For what? Want to burn down Mordhaus, too? You have about five seconds before I call the Klokateers here to have you killed."

"I can't tell you why I'm here..." Toki looked down at his feet, not releasing his grip on Skwisgaar.

While he did seem significantly younger than him, and a bit shorter, Skwisgaar could tell just from the faint outline of his shirt that this man was jacked. If Skwisgaar tried to get physical with him, he was sure he would lose.

And truthfully, he didn't have his Dethphone on him. He couldn't contact the Klokateers fast enough. He would have to get this Toki guy out of here on his own.

So, he feigned interest. "Whatever it is you wanted, I can't give it to you if you don't tell me," he said.

Toki frowned. "Well, my bandmate—his name is Runke Snogge—he doesn't like digital music. He hates Dethklok. But I heard you had a new analog recording format..." He trailed off, looking down before finally letting Skwisgaar go.

It was making sense now. He wanted to find a way to record his dildo black metal records onto water. He wanted to scoff at this idea, tell Toki that the highly complicated and expensive technology it took to produce HEARD wasn't something to be wasted on his stupid amateur music. Instead, he deflected: "Water records can only be recorded in Mordhaus. You don't even have a guitar or your friend."

"Yes I do." Toki pointed past Skwisgaar, who turned his head. Against the wall, near the door to the studio, was a haphazardly duct-taped Flying V guitar. "I was gonna try to record some of my tracks...but you were here..."

Skwisgaar sighed. This man was just so pathetically earnest, wasn't he? "Even still, without your friend, you won't be able to record your songs on water—"

"He's outside."

Skwisgaar narrowed his eyes. "What."

"He's outside. He didn't want me to come all this way by myself. He's waiting for me... Damn it, I should go."

And this time, as Toki made to leave, it was Skwisgaar's turn to grab his wrist and stop him. "Wait." He cursed himself for what he was about to do. "Just...wait ten minutes."

--

Dick Knubbler let out a yawn as Skwisgaar begrudgingly gave him a cup of coffee. "Alright babes, you ready?" he asked. Skwisgaar had been lucky that Dick hadn't been too far from Mordhaus at the time of his call, though he did wish that the man had slept in...well, any kind of clothing. Lending him his own robe was another sacrifice he was making tonight.

"Readies!" Toki said, his guitar strapped over his shoulder and plugged into the amps of the recording booth.

"Readies," the man known as Runke said, notably less excited than Toki.

Dick hit record, and the two Norwegians inside the recording booth began to record their first song: "Release Me from Conservative Hell." As they played, Dick swiveled in his chair to face Skwisgaar. "You know, the other boys aren't gonna be happy about this."

"Ja, I knows." Skwisgaar finished his own cup of coffee in one prolonged gulp.

"And you certainly don't let anyone else use the recording booth. What's this about?"

"Nothings."

Dick smirked, peaking over his shoulder at Hestkuk. Toki was in the middle of playing an agonizingly slow chord while Runke shrieked some nonsense about hating his life, or whatever. "Norwegian men are kinda cute, aren't they, babe?"

"I's has you killeds too, Knubbler."

#ask.mj #nyoomkitty #Metalocalypse #fanfic #Skwisgaar Skwigelf #Toki Wartooth #skwistok #if you squint but also kind of always in canon yknow? #nyoom when you said “friendship ended with skwisgaar skwigelf now runke snogge is my best friend” the idea hit me #the sleeper has awakened #also fun fact we already know norwegian and swedish are sister languages and have a lot of words that mean the same in both of them #hestkuk is one of them so i thought it would be funnier to write the translation out while they're speaking in their native languages #and once again endings are hard any i've had the worst headache for hours so if this is bad i'm SORRY i'm not proofreading it #Dick Knubbler #Runke Snogge #made by mj

[dichromaticdyke]

dethklok pot smoking headcanons? :3

they all smoke canonically. here’s skwisgaar with weed

he doesn’t seem like he’d like it. like he likes cocaine and cuagetrss for the aesthetic. weed doesn’t have. sexy aesthetic. you know? not like sexy cigarette man. And skwisgaar needs to be sexy at all times. but he smokes because is more sexy than bong or edible

#ask.mj #klokaqueer