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#aunt karen also went on a rant about how ‘the news won’t tell you’ about all the ghost guns used in shootings
gobbluthbutagirl · 8 months
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the other week my dad’s aunts(sisters of his dad, who died before i was born) came to visit and it was aunt jan who’s like 79 and a democrat and lives in california and aunt karen who’s like 84 and a republican and lives in idaho. and they had driven across the country in aunt jan’s subaru with the “make america kind again” bumper sticker and aunt karen told a story about how when she was 20 years old she was supposed to go grocery shopping and when she got to the grocery store she parked next to another car that was the same make and model as hers and that person’s groceries were already inside their vehicle just sitting there and she tried her key on their car and it worked so she simply stole their groceries out of there, re-locked their car, and used the money she had planned to spend on groceries to go bowling instead
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Taming of the Shrew
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Peter Parker x Reader
Words: 3035
Summary: Peter has been in love with you from the day he set eyes on you. The only problem is, is that you’re not exactly the most approachable girl in school. Your fear of your own feelings starts to break down as Peter charms his way into your life. 
Notes: Since 10 Things I Hate About You is my favorite movie, I wanted to draw some inspiration from that. Hope you enjoy! (I’m actually really proud of the ending guys. If you’ve seen the movie, hopefully, it’ll sound familiar)
Marvel Masterlist
-
He didn’t know what to make of you. In class, you voiced your opinions without a second thought, no matter how unpopular they were. You were unapologetically you, but you kept to yourself. You barely spoke to anyone unless you were arguing with them. It seemed that your only friend was Michelle. And he was completely head over heels for you. 
But, alas, you barely acknowledged his existence. Every time he’d pop up out of nowhere next to your locker, you put in your headphones and walked away. You sat alone at lunch, often reading or just listening to music. Peter found you absolutely fascinating, but Flash never missed an opportunity to make fun of you. 
“If it isn't the resident freak of Midtown Tech.” He mocked as you walked into biology. You ignored him, per usual and took your seat… next to Peter. 
“Just ignore him,” Peter whispered. “I do.”
“I can fight my own battles, Parker.” You snapped. 
“Hey, Y/N, did you take any creepy pictures lately? I heard the police are cracking down on that kind of thing.” Flash taunted. 
“I work on the yearbook, dickwad.” You retorted. 
“Miss Y/L/N, language.” Your teacher shook her head with disappointment as she walked in the room, conveniently missing all of Flash’s comments as usual. She began the lesson, which you hardly paid any attention to. You’d done all the homework the night before since this teacher tended to rant about her personal life instead of actually teaching. When class was over, you rushed out into the hall, but Peter was fast. 
“Hey, Y/N, this is going to sound stupid, but I was wondering-”
“If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.” You said bluntly, but he just shrugged it off like usual and maintained his sunny expression.
“A group of us were planning to get together to study for the Biology final this weekend, and I was wondering if you would want to come along? It’ll be at the park, everyone is bringing snacks.” The nervous stutter in his voice was actually pretty adorable and your lips betrayed you by giving him a slight smile. 
“By everyone, do you mean you and Ned?” 
“No, actually.” He had a little skip in his step as he walked with you to your next class. “MJ said she’ll be there.” And if MJ was going, you’d be going. You did almost everything together since she was really your only friend, besides your cat Baymax of course. You blew out a breath. 
“Then count me in, Parker.” You were sure that if he smiled any bigger that his face would split in half. You jutted a finger at his chest and narrowed your eyes. “You better bring those cookies that your aunt makes.” 
“Don’t worry, I’ve already got her making, like, four dozen.” He laughed. Great. Now he needed to ask Aunt May to make four dozen cookies by tomorrow. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the park then.” 
“Wait,” You groaned. “My dad will probably make me bring Becca. Is that okay?” He shrugged. 
“Yeah, sure.” Peter had never actually spoken to your younger sister. Becca was a super popular freshman who he had heard was really good at physics. He had also heard that she’d been hanging out with a kid named Joey. He made Flash look like Mr. Rogers. “She, uh, she won’t bring Joey with her will she?” 
“Uh, no.” You snorted. “You definitely don’t have to worry about that douche being anywhere near me.” 
“Great because he used to steal Ned’s lunch money, so there would be that drama and-”
“Parker.” 
“Yeah?”
“Run along.” 
“Okay.” 
-
Becca had gotten a ride home with one of her friends so you took the subway alone. You didn’t mind. It gave you a chance to listen to your music rather than listen to her blab about all of her popular friends. Especially Joey. You still shuddered at the thought of that creep trying to date your little sister. You wanted to tell her to stay away from him, but you knew that it would just make her do it even more. The two of you had been at odds for as long as you could remember. She was Miss Perky and you were the self-proclaimed shrew of the school. 
The station exit was a few blocks down from your apartment, allowing you to take in the sites of the city while the afternoon sun hung high overhead. It reminded you of when your mother would take you and Becca on little adventures, walking around New York like it was some new foreign world. That was before she left. You were too distracted by your music that you didn’t notice the hand reaching out of the ally to yank you in. 
There had been reports of a masked mugger in your neighborhood for a while now, but you never took it seriously. Maybe you should have. 
“Hel-” You started to scream, but he covered your mouth with his hand. 
“Let’s see what you’ve got, shall we?” He spoke in a tone that was clearly lower than his natural voice. Something about it sounded familiar, but you didn’t have time to process before a flash of red replaced the mugger. 
You took off running without a second thought. You sprinted towards your apartment building, but seven blocks seemed like miles. 
Spiderman webbed up the mugger before swinging down the street to catch up with you. He had seen a knife in the bad guy's hand so he was worried that you had been hurt. When the masked hero popped up in front of you, hanging upside down from a street light, he had to dodge the punch you almost landed to his face. 
“Woah, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.” He released the web and did a flip to land on his feet. “Your arm’s bleeding.” He reached out a hand to examine the cut, but you jerked away, the sudden sting shooting up your arm. You hadn’t even noticed. 
“I’m fine, Spider-boy.” You snapped. 
“It’s Spiderman,” He corrected under his breath. 
“Whatever. Can I go home now?” You pushed passed him, but he was persistent. 
“Here, let me help. Hey Karen, make a bandage web.” 
“Seriously, that isn’t-” He gently grabbed your arm before you could object. You should have shoved him away, but you didn’t. Why was your heart doing this weird fluttering thing? He pressed the webbing to the wound, making you wince slightly, but it actually felt really nice. 
Peter watched you watch him and he couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face. He felt more confident in the mask. 
“Go ahead, Peter,” Karen said. 
“Can I walk you the rest of the way?” Spiderman asked. You raised your eyebrows and scoffed. 
“You’re kidding, right? Are you hitting on me?” 
“You know, most people would be a little more grateful after being saved by a superhero.” He argued, the playful tone in his voice sounding so familiar to you. He was right. He might have just saved your life. But you would never admit defeat, especially to some kid in glorified spandex. 
“Oh, you mean like this?” You smiled seductively and leaned in, reaching your fingers up to his mask. 
Peter’s breathing hitched. Was this really happening? Your hands suddenly moved from his mask and grasped his shoulders, giving you better momentum as you kneed him the crotch. He let out a groan and toppled back into a collection of trash cans. You walked into the apartment building before you could change your mind. 
“That went well.” Karen teased as Peter stood up, kind of waddling as he brushed off the dirt and trash. 
“I told you.” Even with his now sore groin, he was smiling. “She’s something.”
-
Central Park was crowded, but if you could find the right spot, it wasn’t so bad. You met up with MJ early to do just that, finding some benches away from all of the running children and obnoxious dog-walkers. 
“So he asked to walk you home?” MJ wondered. You had been telling her about the previous day's events and she was just very interested in the fact that you kneed Spiderman in the balls. 
“What a creep right?” You scoffed, trying to hide how you really felt. You’d be damned if you allowed yourself to have a crush on some egotistical masked vigilante. Michelle shrugged. 
“Doesn’t sound that bad.” 
“He could be some thirty-year-old pervert who lives in his mother’s basement!” You knew that much wasn’t true. His voice sounded too young and oh so familiar. 
“Sorry I’m late, but I didn’t want to be here.” Becca chimed with her sickly fake sweet tone. 
“You could just, I don’t know, get stuck in a tree or something.” You snapped back. She stuck out her tongue and changed her focus to her phone, taking a well-planned selfie while you and Michelle rolled your eyes in unison. 
“Here comes the dork squad,” MJ announced, watching Peter and Ned trek towards you with a large picnic basket between them. 
“Hey everyone.” Peter greeted, setting the basket down on the bench. His eyes darted towards you and quickly looked away. “I brought some drinks and some snacks, so take whatever you want.”
“I brought an extra book in case anyone forgot theirs,” Ned added, pulling the Biology books from his bag. Becca made a face. 
“You guys are actually studying?” 
“Uh, yeah?” Peter gave her a confused look. What else would they be doing? She scoffed. 
“I’m going to go find a magazine stand.” She sashayed away in her mini skirt, calling one of her clones probably to whine about you. You were about to say something, but Peter interrupted you, wanting to keep everyone’s moods up. 
“I was thinking we could do flashcards?” 
Studying actually went really well. You had been struggling with Biology and Peter’s charisma made learning a lot easier than your boring teacher’s lessons. Okay, it helped that you may have had the tiniest little crush on him. Not that you’d ever tell him that. Your ‘tough-bitch’ persona would be ruined. It had just been an hour or so when you saw him. Joey, leaning against a tree, leaning over your sister. 
“I’ll be back.” You told the group and stomped over to the pair. You shoved Joey away from Becca, steam practically coming out of your ears. 
“What the hell, Y/N!” Becca shrieked, but you ignored her. 
“Stay away from my sister, Joey.” You commanded. He just laughed. 
“You jealous, freak?” He took a step towards you, his disgusting gaze traveling up and down your body. “Because if you’ve changed your mind about us hooking up, I would be more than happy to oblige.” Your stomach twisted into a knot. 
“Y/N, what is he talking about?” 
“Nothing, Becca, he’s full of shit.” You hissed. The commotion had drawn the rest of the group over to you and you felt Peter’s hand gently touch your shoulder. 
“Everything okay?” His eyes and his voice were so sincere that you wanted to cry. You knew what Joey was doing and you didn’t want Peter anywhere near here. 
“Back off, Parker.” Joey snapped. His lips spread into a cruel smirk, looking back at you. “You weren’t saying that last month at Flash’s party. I believe it was something like,” he moved his hips back and forth, mockingly moaning in a higher voice, “Yes Joey. Like that Joey. You’re so good at this…” 
“Y/N?” Now it was MJ sounding confused. 
“Shut. Up.” You growled, pushing Joey again. He grabbed your wrists. 
“Just like old times, right?” He sneered. “Freshman year, you couldn’t get enough of me.” 
“Leave her alone.” Peter appeared beside you. You’d never seen him angry before, but he looked ready to tear Joey apart. 
“I can handle this, Peter.” You ripped your hands away, still feeling his revolting touch. He was relentless. 
“Wouldn’t you like to, you little bitch!” His smug smile was broken by Peter’s fist colliding with his face. Becca screamed and you jumped back, Michelle catching you before you could fall. 
“Peter!” You screamed, watching the two in a whirlwind of punches. “Peter, stop!” Joey was nearly six inches taller than him and he had muscle built up from his years of doing football. Yet somehow, it seemed like Peter was winning. When the two seemed to have an equal share of cuts and bruises, Peter shoved Joey away. 
“Now get out of here.” He commanded. Joey gave Becca one last wink before running off. 
“What the hell, Peter?” You snapped. Without another word, you and MJ walked away, Becca shuffling along after you. Peter just stood there, dumbfounded. 
“Your lip’s bleeding,” Ned said in awe. Peter shook his head, watching your retreating back, shoulders hunched forward with humiliation. 
“Not now Ned.” 
-
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Becca asked. Her usual brattiness was gone and her voice held the sincerity of a concerned sister. 
“Because I never wanted to remember it.” You sniffed. You’d been crying for the past hour. You felt so stupid. The worst part was that all of it was true. You and Joey had been an item freshman year and he was, unfortunately, your first time. “We were only together for about a month… when mom left.” Becca put a hand on top of yours. 
“And Flash’s party?” She grimaced. You nodded, an ashamed tear falling down your cheek. 
“That was the result of a surge of teenage rebellion and way too much tequila.” You held up your pinky. “Promise me you will never let alcohol make any decisions for you ever.” She laughed and hooked her pinky with yours. 
“I promise.”
A sudden knock on your window made you both jump. Outside, was none other than Spiderman. Becca could hardly contain her excitement as she leaped off of your bed and moved to unlatch the lock.
“Don’t let him in here!” You exclaimed. 
“It’s Spiderman, of course, I’m letting him in.” She undid the lock and pushed up the window, allowing him to slip inside. 
“Thanks.” He nodded, trying to lean casually against the wall. “Can I, uh, talk to Y/N?” She looked at you with wide eyes and a huge grin. 
“Don’t you-” You started, but she was already out the door. 
“I came to check up on that cut.” He lied. There was that voice again. 
“Don’t move.” You commanded, walking up to him. It was time to see if your suspicions were right. You lifted your fingers up to his mask, feeling for his lips. You hit a certain spot and he winced. Bingo. “Peter?” His heart pounded. 
“What? No. I’m not Peter. I-” You raised a brow and he knew that it was no use. Hesitantly, he took off the mask. His lip was split in the corner and a bruise had started to form on his right cheek. 
“Jesus, Peter.” You were more phased by his injuries than his secret identity. “Why the hell would you do something so stupid?” He just shrugged. 
“I couldn’t listen to him to talk to you like that.” 
You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying not to look him in the eye. Those big brown puppy dog eyes that held nothing but total admiration for you even after everything he heard. 
“You probably don’t think much of me anymore.” You wiped your face with your sleeve. “Everything that Joe said was true.” 
“Y/N.” Peter sighed. He took a step towards you and when you didn’t retreat, he put his hands on your arms. “I don’t care about what Joey said. I care about that spit-fire girl who wasn’t afraid to kick a superhero in the crotch.” You laughed. Despite everything, he could still make you laugh. His adorable smile turned sheepish. “I’ve liked you for a really long time, Y/N. Really really liked you. Got-my-aunt-t- make-four-dozen-cookies, liked you.” He held up a box in his hand. “Which I brought, by the way.” 
Just like that, your tough girl exterior faded. 
“I like you too.” Cautiously, you put a hand on his cheek and brought his lips to yours. Peter’s heart soared and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. 
“You are not going to bel-” Becca burst into the room and gasped. Peter tried to hide his face behind you, but she’d already seen him. “Oh hey, Peter.” She only seemed slightly surprised. It was always the geeky ones. She closed the door behind her, a mix of excitement and mischief in her expression. “Good, I can show this to you too.” She pulled up an article on her phone. “The neighborhood masked-mugger… is Joey.” You snatched the phone from her hand. 
“No. Way.” Sure enough, the article listed the details of his arrest. Apparently, after his fight with Peter, Joey went on a spree and messed with the wrong woman. He got pepper-sprayed and was apprehended soon after. 
“That’s crazy.” Peter blew out a breath. Becca smirked and took back her phone. 
“I’ll let you two get back to it.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you and backed out of your room. 
“So I guess me kicking his ass helped get him caught,” Peter said with a hint of cockiness. 
“I’m still pissed at you.” You put your hands on your hips. He pouted, holding up the box of baked goods.
“But I brought you cookies.” You laughed, taking one out of the box, it’s gooey center melting in your mouth.  
“Okay, but you can’t just bring me cookies every time you piss me off.” You pointed out, moving to the other side of your room, taking the box for yourself. He shot a web out of his wrist and it latched onto your hand. 
“I know, but there’s always,” He tugged on the web, pulling you closer, “cakes,” closer, “pies,” closer, “and maybe, one day…” You were pressed against him now, grinning from his silly antics. “Muffins.” You shook your head, but your lips collided without hesitation for another perfect kiss.
I want you to want me….
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