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foxymuses · 4 years

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@corruptaxpoliticus sent: If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

oh jeez, just one thing? uh. uh. idk, like. the.. lack of inclusion (she says as a private & selective blog) but here’s the thing about that like. i balked at the idea of exclusivity when i frst started on tumblr literally 8 years ago. the idea that some blogs wouldn’t interact with others based on this lameass reason or that lameass reason was just... ???? like how are you supposed to know if you’ll write well if you never even fucking try? and i’m not saying 2012 tumblr was perfect but like. getting censored was rare, people were comfortable with having 800 followers and talking to maybe a handful at any given time, call out posts like didn’t exist, if you had a problem with someone you just didn’t talk to them? and yah ofc there were favorites and cliques and shit, i’m not even gonna say i wasn’t in a few of my own, but like? it was so easy to just drop into people’s characters and worlds and add yourself.

you can’t do that today. people pick their favorites and then never fucking deviate. like... how are you supposed to know if someone isn’t your favorite if you don’t write with them? it’s impossible to get into certain rpcs because the people in it only write with the people that have been in it as long as they have. i have given up muses on the simple fact that nobody in the fucking fandom, which is usually tiny to begin with, wants to accept a new person in for plotting bc ‘too slow, too late, fuck off’ and it’s just ... god forbid you start a new blog. god forbid your blog is a multi.

and listen, i’m private and exclusive now. but i have to be. people want the muse, not the writer now, people aren’t reaching out and connecting mun to mun anymore. people are shutting off potential connections and possible partners because they don’t do formatting this way, or their blog aesthetic looks this way, or they write with this person, or they believe this headcanon, and i’m not saying you should force yourself to write with people or whatever, but like. the block function is overused, people are anxious and terrified of reaching out because people are so liberal about shutting you down, and if you don’t, especially as a multi, declare yourself to be selective in who you follow, you’re gonna be begging on a dash for interactions for people that don’t actually want to write with you, if anyone follows you back in the first place. and listen, i will follow almost anyone, idfc, but if i don’t put that ‘private & exclusive’ at the top of my description, then i’m the asshole when i decide not to follow an oc or another multi just because, writingwise, we wouldn’t fit, even if most people that follow won’t interact with my ocs.

it takes incessance to get memes, constant nudging to attempt friendly conversation, but the fact is that if you haven’t been writing with someone on this hell site for years then they’re not going to write with you, and i just.

i really think it’s all bullshit tbh.

#i ranted sorry #;;foxanswers

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fae-fucker · 4 years

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Zenith: Chapter 52-55

Chapter 52

Valen interrogates Andi about his father’s decision to make her his rescuer, and instead of going “take that up with your dad because I don’t know his reasons for doing this,” Andi tries to be all apologetic about all the Kalee stuff and saying how she’s changed and Valen’s like nu-uh!

“It was a mistake,” Andi said again. “If I could take it back—”

Valen gritted his teeth. “Murder isn’t a mistake.”

Have I finally gone off the deep end or is this fucking funny?

“If I recall, you were the one who allowed your little sister and her friend to sneak out for a joyride on your father’s brand-new transport,” Andi replied. Her words were soft and casual, but her eyes were on fire.

“Spectre,” Valen said. “Spectre first, and always. You failed her as that.”

“Again,” Andi said, “it was a mistake. I’ve had to live with the cost of it.”

“Kalee didn’t!” Valen screamed. “She didn’t get to live, Androma!”

It’s honestly impressive that whenever I go into a chapter that’s relatively short and think it’s gonna be fine and I’ll just skim over it, Shinsay proves me wrong by including more bullshit that I just have to talk about. But hey, part of the reason I have this blog is so that people know what not to do and examining why certain things just don’t work, with the added bonus of having the context for it.

It’s also impressive how two women somehow keep making the wrong choice for the same one book, over and over and over. Every narrative choice in this book is wrong.

So, what’s wrong with this particular bit? Remember when Dex and Andi were having their stupid argument and Dex, right after trying to apologize for what he did and explain himself, turned around and started blaming Androma for it instead? Here it’s even more jarring, because Andi genuinely believes she was to blame for Kalee’s death and genuinely wants to atone (or she claims to want that, at least). So when she, out of nowhere, starts trying to defend herself and shift the blame onto Valen? That shit don’t make no sense, y’all.

I think this is a result of the book having too many pointless POVs. We’re in Valen’s right now, so obviously he needs emotional triggers to react to and start monologuing over. He needs to be provoked and damn logic and character consistency, he’s gonna get provoked! Andi’s words make no sense and will not be examined closer once we’re back in her POV, she just said this OOC shit for the sake of drama, yet given everyone’s awful characterization, even small things like these serve only to undermine the characters and their motivations even further.

Shinsay don’t understand that sometimes, no arguments is far more impactful than a dramatic verbal battle of cheap witticisms. Instead of this, Andi could’ve just sat there, quietly, letting Valen dunk on her because she feels she deserves it. Hell, this entire conversation could’ve been saved if only Andi’s blame-shifting line had been given to someone else! I didn’t even read it as her saying it at first and had to double-check and that’s when it fell apart to me.

God, I could go on like this forever. Feel free to send me asks if you want me to elaborate on dialogue and characterization, I guess? Let’s just move on.

The others try to figure out how Valen was taken and what happened when he was, asking him if he knows anything about Queen Nor, at which point Rage Unlocks Within Him, and he gets up and leaves.

I also want to mention that Valen talks about “things being tense after Kalee was gone,” but Kalee’s been dead for four years, while Valen was taken two years ago. Sooo uh ... huh? He makes it sound like it was two months after and not two years. He could’ve said things “changed” after her death and it would’ve sounded better. Idk just a preference I guess.

Also ... I just realized Valen’s been missing and tortured for two years. How he still talks normally is ... pretty bonkers, to say the least.

Chapter 53

Andi goes out to find Valen but finds Lon instead, his blue tiddies out.

Lon leads Andi to where Valen is, all while dropping hints that Lira has something to say to Andi and that Andi shouldn’t try to influence her decision. To her credit, Andi says she won’t, and that she loves Lira as her sister.

Andi and Valen sit around in nature for a bit and talk about Valen’s art. I don’t hate it?

“When I was locked up, I almost forgot what colors looked like,” [Valen] said, lazily brushing the stick back and forth against the mud. “Did you know that black is more than just a single shade?”

Anish Kapoor would like to know your location.

Valen says he can’t forgive Andi for what she did, but he can also not forgive himself for being part of those choices(????). Andi speculates that her accusation earlier must’ve struck him deep, but that’s all we get on that, no explanation as to why she accused him at all.

“In Lunamere, I had nothing to keep me company but my pain and my thoughts. I had lots of time to think about that night, and everything leading up to it. Time to realize that we were raised in a society where perfection is the only option. But that doesn’t mean it’s always possible. We all made bad choices that night, not just you. She got on that transport herself. And I chose to stay behind.”

Andi wanted to speak, but she feared it would shatter this strange, heart-wrenching moment they had somehow found themselves in.

Thanks for telling me it’s heart-wrenching, lest my idiot self got lost in all this emotion and forgot to realize what was happening.

Christ, even when Shinsay have a decent dramatic and emotional moment going, they just can’t keep their grubby little hands to themselves, huh? I know it’s your book but can you shut the fuck up for a moment and just let the prose stand on its own?

God, if only there had been an editor.

Both Andi and Valen admit they wish they’d died with Kalee and in any other more competent book this would’ve been quite touching.

“Without Kalee...” Andi began, finally voicing the realization she’d come to terms with these past few days. “Without Kalee, there wouldn’t have been a sentence for me to run from. And without that running, I never would have found Dex. And without him...”

“You wouldn’t be the Bloody Baroness,” Valen finished for her. “My father would not have hired you.”

It was a vicious cycle, one that Andi wished she could have undone before it had ever started. But it was her story. Her life.

Her life is a series of reactions to things outside of her control? Love that for a protagonist.

Listen, I know it’s supposed to be sad and stuff, but even Andi’s backstory reinforces her reactionary personality and the way the plot is driven by things completely outside of her control. It’s hard to feel invested in a character when they never make choices and instead only react to whatever happens to them.

Anyway, Valen and Andi seem to have gotten over their differences and go to the festival together. That was easy. I guess it’s to throw us off the scent and make it more surprising when he suddenly turns out to be evil? I’m honestly not sure. It’s pretty bad either way, but I don’t have to tell you that.

Chapter 54

We’re with Lira again and she’s staring off into the distance thinking about the festival. Lon appears again, tiddies still out, but now his muscles and “sculpted” chest feels kind of weird to comment on since we’re in Lira’s head? Whatever, maybe Adhirans are weird like that.

Lon says some cutesy shit about how technically Lira is this planet’s princess but she doesn’t reply or even think about how that would make him the prince? He just says he’s her brother and has to guard her. Maybe Adhirans also don’t let men have political power because that’s what Shinsay think feminism is.

Anyway, they join the other girls and head to the festival while Lira mopes about her decision and how she can’t have two families. Except you can. But whatever. Logic isn’t dramatic enough, I suppose.

“It’s time to let loose,” Breck said. “Lir, you look like you’ve just puked up a pound of Moon Chew.”

“Lira doesn’t puke,” Gilly said.

“That’s ridiculous. Everyone pukes,” Breck added.

“I’ve never seen her do it. And I spy on her, like, all the time.”

Lon chuckled beside Lira. “I see it,” he whispered. “What draws you to this crew.”

I don’t.

Also they’re in the same close space it seems, so I have no idea how they 1) don’t bother to ask Lira what’s going on and 2) don’t notice Lon being all whispery and shit. Convenient!

Gonna gloss over the spying bit as well, I see. Hey, they do have those eye implants that you don’t need consent to activate. Maybe Gilly’s been using it to perv on the rest of the crew.

Lira decides ... not to decide, and just fuckin party down for tonight. I guess in this universe it means she’s gonna get blackout wasted, because That’s What Adults Do. I should also mention that she decides not to decide and then never has to decide anyway because the plot intervenes and the choice is made for her. Love that for a character.

*sigh*

Chapter 55

We’re in Dex’s POV and we get some decent descriptions of how cool the festival is with more incidental aliens and traditions. Dex spots the crew and thinks about how they’re his crew now and realizes he’s bonded with them. I’m glad this is spelled out because I would not have noticed it myself, and frankly I both do and don’t mean it this time.

They’ve only been together for a couple of days, tops. I guess extreme situations make people bond faster but I really feel like we’re jumping the shark here. At the same time I can tell that Dex clearly fits into the crew pretty well, and this just feels forced and redundant. All in all, this comment is just unnecessary. Let the characters evolve and grow closer naturally, Shinsay. You don’t need to convince us they’re a crew, you can just show us and we’ll believe it!

Dex spots Valen and Andi and of course we get a horny description of how cool and sexy Andi is and how impressed Dex is that she and Valen are already friends. Then he decides to get drunk and eat some meat.

Frankly? Relatable. Chapter? Pointless.

#eff reads: zenith

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cultspaced · 5 years

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anon said : mason was royalty right ?? were they like their species equivalent of a prince ? im inch rested in the alien hierarchy . what was that like ? please give ur adoring fans the Lore . unless u don’t want 2 like it’s secret then that’s ok too I love u

oh anon, first of all, i still don’t have fans and secondly, thanks for being invested uwu

just a fair warning, since this is v important to my blog this is gonna get long and won’t go under a cut and i’m sorry if it’s all a mess and not sorted but it’s late and i keep remembering shit that needs to go into this okay .

to get into the lore let’s explore mason’s ( maisaaint’s ) species for a short moment . mason is a so-called AORLUT, a semi-corporal non-gendered species known for hiding their weakest points on a different plane of existence . they are, in the easiest to explain sense, all eldritch horrors with shifting ❛ bodies ❜ that change when necessary and can easily survive as a parasite . however, since everybody hides their weakest parts on a different plane of existence it means these multi-dimensional fuckers all see each other how they actually look all the time, while other creatures only see certain limbs . ( see here for a very vague description of what mason actually looks like and then know their offsprings look like very round squids and this is 100% a baby picture of mason okay )

aorluts are also known for having one of the most complex, impossible to learn and yet efficient languages . it is a mix of clicking, whistling, something that sounds like high pitched screeching and underwords ( which i have explained here but is basically up to three words spoken at the very same time . ) this language is absolute bullshit to anyone hearing it but makes communication extremely quick and leaves no room for wrong interpretations . ( something mason can’t keep up in english but since they already have to talk slowed down, they find joy in deliberately talking around the truth esp concerning their own heritage . )

lastly, about the species, not all of them are touch telepathic & empathic . mason in that regard is an absolute outliner since their ability is not just rare but also stronger than with most of those blessed / cursed with it . most aorluts with touch empathy are usually just able to skim surface emotions using parts of their bodies where the nerves are concentrated the most, whereas mason ( royalty ) doesn’t just rely on their most sensitive body parts but can literally feel what other aorluts would feel with every inch of their being . as a human that translated to their most sensitive bits of skin and not skin allowing them to jump right into someone’s mind . ( they could do a lot of damage in there if they really wanted ; see william for example even tho that was just a stress-related accident . )

next up : the home planet . it technically doesn’t have a name like earth is earth but instead has a category and every aorlut will just call it by that category ( or alternatively : home ) . MSR, pronounced every letter on its own and best said as underwords, is a hugely nebulous & mostly water-covered planet with flat buildings that stretch across the land and then go far & deep into the sea . since aorluts are multi-dimensional, breathing underwater or in any non-ideal environment is really not an issue and therefore their architecture is mostly focused on building structurally sound houses instead of checking that life can exist in these sometimes extreme circumstances . in a way, this is a defence mechanism towards strangers but also is just to some degree based on their long history of isolation and not having connected to other species even though they could have made contact a long time ago .

moving on : mason is in fact space royalty and was supposed to be the next in line for the throne . msr is governed by a monarchy with democratic influences . the royals cannot be voted and are either born into the bloodline or adopted if their abilities are seen to be amongst royal levels but their decision can be overthrown if the majority of the population is for or against something . that being said, the monarchy wasn’t just responsible for their ❛ country ❜ but had a hand in all the planets businesses and the parts of the quadrant they owned . in case anyone is wondering, no, they didn’t go around willy nilly fighting and claiming parts of space but in fact mostly just protected themselves when under fire, bought ❛ property ❜ off of poorer civilisations and on one memorable occasion, won a big chunk of their quadrant in a game of poker . ( it is somewhat unfair to play poker when your opponent can only see your tentacles but really that’s on them for even trying . )

so yes, in every sense of aorlut tradition, mason is royalty . they’re both born into the bloodline and would've been taken up anyways for their strong telepathic & empathic abilities since in aorlut culture knowledge about others is considered one of the most valuable things . ( spoilers here : mason isn’t too keen on invading other people’s mind’s but can’t imagine living without the constant buzzing of being able to feel someone else’s surface emotions in their head . )

anyways, yes mason is the space equivalent of a prince/ ss with a shit ton of power and was raised as such but found there to be no adjustment period at all upon landing on earth . after all, they had other things they needed to prioritise above being treated like a monarch and by the time that was sorted they had learned the word dude and knew about the comfort of old hoodies and they haven’t looked back at their royal comforts ever since .

since the lifespan of an aorlut is rather vague even for themselves, nobody ever really knows when exactly an aorlut will stop existing safe for starting to anticipate it around a certain age . ( as it’s customary for the eldest to just wake up one day and know it’s time if they want to go . ) however, since the species is multi-dimensional ageing is a weird thing and once an aorlut is no longer considered a child they’ll start to look like something weirdly between a young adult or a middle-aged dad until the day they die . death for an aorlut btw isn’t bad, it’s simply them pulling themselves fully onto a plane of existence ❛ living ❜ aorluts can’t follow ( according to the belief ) and it’s, therefore, more socially acceptable to just vanish than die amongst loved ones or on the battlefield .

anyways back to the drama : mason knew they were about to inherit the throne but couldn’t pinpoint when exactly it was supposed to happen and as the one directly in line for it, there was no doubt with anyone that maisaaint rl'flem would soon be the next monarch . yet, greed and envy are concepts older than humanity and can be found in many many other species, such as mason’s for example . this is btw where the google doc picks up, a coup was staged ( mostly against mason ) and injured, with a broken ship and their pets, they just about managed to escape . this proved for those against the monarchy that mason, although extremely powerful in their telepathy ( to unknown levels ), wasn’t fit to be a leader since they didn’t see this coming . in a way, however, mason knew this would happen which is the only reason they actually managed to get out alive .

hurt and betrayed, mason crash landed their broken ship on earth and just knew that their family had been eradicated . they were in pure agony physically and mentally when encountering william and trying to read his mind, which is then also the first time they realised the full extent of their powers and understood they could’ve defended themselves with but a few touches .

back home on msr, the news of the vanished heir spread extremely quickly and most people just assumed mason, like their family, had retreated to the other plane of existence, leaving the monarchy fallen and, surprisingly, allowing for the rise of a purely democratic new government .

#˹ * ⋆ ˎˊ ⟷ & meta ˼#long post #okay my brain is mush #turns out formatting was a vibe check in its own #my vibes are v exhausted rn

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opisafascist · 7 years

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"I can't take criticism so I send out my minions from 4chan out to get you" blocklist

I’ll be honest, I do not get what are these peoples deal but they seem to always get on the bad side of everyone and they can get to this very contrarian personality from 4chan /v/ so I’ll just take that a hint to making a list of them, they aren’t fascists by any means, crypto-fascists at the least, but they often gobble up the worst of people from this website and have probably been co-opted by fascists multiple time because of their apatheticness and coyness, the whole “I’m not a SJW! I don’t like protesters, fighting for something is dumb!” kind, shit they aren’t even probably right-wingers so this is a very special blocklist because I keep seeing them on tumblr whenever something bad happens, in fact i see so many fascists on this site only follow these people, so it’s probably better to block them to cut off their social rings immediately.

--The list that has probably already been made once--

moontouched-moogle - Not much interesting to talk about here they’re just this hive mind for /v/ people. They kind of helped me build this list a bit.

thefeelofavideogame - This guy never catches a break of not minding their own business and can’t help but feel cynical about anything but just ‘vidya’

nentindo - This one deserves a special mention because they’re 15 years old so it’s better to just block them and ignore them in advance rather then let them act elitist, i mean jeez kid you’re 15 you BARELY experienced life yet. Like really this amount of them surrounding themselves by adults that don’t wish them the best is an unhealthy obsession for them at it is.

inkerton-kun - Dontcha hate when a porn artist has to have a ‘personality’

steven-universe-official - Kind of like the grand papi of this gang, I don’t even need to tell people to block them because I think about everyone does already due them sending their weird combination of anti-feminist fans around sending hate to anyone that would do criticism against their shitty attitude, technically in the recent years they kind of toned down on going around spewing bullshit and being THE uncle tom but it’s good to double check

dream-cassette - Oh this one I’ve heard of the most! Used to make child porn by the name of hoshime, in the name of rule 34, along the lines she deleted her original blog because she believed the obviously fake “down with cis” situation was the biggest EXAMPLE OF BIGOTRY in the world and the not absurd at all rival towards inequality (ignoring how it works systematically) and ever since then she’s been hanging out with the anti-sjws.

thathomestar - I think they used to be a 100% gamergater but then again almost everyone here on this list was at one point. They still have that suspicious aura of “all the misery in the world is the left-wing’s fault for fighting back against their human rights being removed rather than just submitting!”. Says everything that is politically incorrect is just a joke, might be just a weird case of /pol/’s law (haha, get it?)

mr-cappadocia - Also an infamous gamergater, they sorta hold a grudge so much against social justice they end up sounding like they’re high on sherm. You know those try-hards that sound REALLY hard to sound politically incorrect? Yep! They sound like that. I also recommend blocking leopirate too as they are also a hotspot for gamergaters. Both are pretty terrible Islamophobic people.

takashi0 - The OG Anti-SJW Brony of Tumblr! What a title.

shitpost-senpai - I don’t even know why this guy’s on this list they’re just a 100% obvious fascist to the point they won’t stop being antisemitic about everything but hey, I guess because they like anime and metal gear rising that’s enough for them to fit in this blocklist... They’re also constantly being reblogging by this social ring of people and could just be the reason why a sum of people don’t trust them.

maoh - They hate it when people fight back against oppression in general, the old cuck-like mentality of “No, don’t do anything, don’t fight back and die and it will be a win!” without knowing that peaceful protest holds no consequence and allows fascists to do anything they want to do at any time while removing human rights. They’re very petty about god damn children rather than just let them be too. What kind of an adult is this? Kind of funny that they changed their description recently from “I dislike the left-wing of tumblr” to “zero tolerance for faux morality and art censorship”, dude got some brand new codewords to pass off “I hate criticism” and “I’m a nazi sympathizer cuck and I’ve been brainwashed by the enemy to say that violent dynamics, no matter how history shows the story otherwise, is ineffective in justice and is villainous, anyways let me just frantically love an anime where they beat someone up”. It’s basic praxis and how the world works!

shameshack - Ey! the-cringe-channel, known for producing their own cringe content because for some odd reason they keep ignoring the academic values of things and brush ofF everything in the world as mindless paranoia but probably aren’t a very smart person themselves and would rather waste their life making fun of kids and fueling the quickly made anti-sjw blogs on this website that all have urls like “tumblr-is-dumb-because-i-hate-minorities”, out of everyone who acts coy about why people dislike them, this one acts the most coy out of them all, what a malicious kind of guy. I really don’t know if they legit don’t get how things work in the real world because they take silly things seriously and serious things as if they were silly. Have you ever tried living life once where you have to don’t have to keep insecurely looking down on others that are just harmless oddities to fuel your ego or what?

--End Of List--

Just copy and paste each url onto your blocklist if you wanna.

Again I repeat these guys aren’t “fascists” and will deny they’re “anti-sjw” (Even though they don’t do anything to show for it besides say “Oh don’t worry we make fun of anti-sjws too! But we sound exactly like them when we go against our vague idea of social justice”), but fascists and crypto-fascists always seem to be around these people because they act coy about it all the time for the sake of being contrarians. They don’t want to care about them being followed by neo-nazis, just the power of having many followers that come straight from 4chan’s /v/! Almost the same as sympathizers.

It’s the same odd link towards people who take video games and substancless anime too seriously and... Neo-Nazis, seriously what’s up with that? Anyways be careful when you criticize anime or them and don’t have them checked!

Special mentions: KanColle fans I guess? Moe anime attracts a lot, and I guess that’s what happens when a medium genre is 100% bottom feeders towards substanceless girls just being cute, blogs with gray backgrounds, the nihilists that blog about trump jokes “ironically” (poe’s law), youtube celebrities, it’s more about ethics in games journalism and not objective game design. It’s not like they can’t be analytical ABOUT EVERYTHING right. Like how video game game design isn’t the only analytical theory in the world to take into consideration when criticizing media. Why is it always the gamers?

Won’t say it again! Act coy about it all you want but take the loss because you guys have negative connotations and never really worked on it.

This isn’t a “Reach” like a lot of you guys keep blaming it to be one or just belittle it as just “discourse” (the most thrown around word ever), the fact is just that you simply won’t accept the weight of your actions by either doing bullshit yourselves or allowing fascists to co-op your communities because you guys aren’t actively critical at all despite your contrarian image.

Anyways this blog’s been moving slow (Which is good! Unless they've just been more secretive) to the point I gotta make a list out of these infamous dudes that i’m pretty sure everyone on tumblr already blocks or at least is suspicious about the people who reblog from them so i’m gonna go jack off to hentai rather than cowardly reblog ecchi to my blog to remind people I do indeed jack off to anime have no mistake about it.

#blocklist #moontouched-moogle #thefeelofavideogame #nentindo #inkerton-kun #steven-universe-official #dream-cassette #thathomestar #mr-cappadocia #leopirate #takashi0 #shitpost-senpai #maoh #shameshack #the-cringe-channel #the-eagle-atarian

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sassy-0-dinosaur · 7 years

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Soulmate Mumbo Jumbo

Groot x Rocket

Words: 1162

Warnings: Angst and Silly Soulmate Stuff

Summary: Rocket never believed in that soulmate mumbo jumbo. It never made any sense to him, still doesn’t sometimes. He just doesn’t understand the universe choosing who you’ll love for the rest of your life. He used to think it was complete bullshit. Then he met Groot.

A/N: This just started out as a headcanon on my headcanon blog Very happy about how this came out, though. Hope it doesn't suck! :)

Rocket never believed in that soulmate mumbo jumbo. It never made any sense to him, still doesn’t sometimes. He just doesn’t understand the universe choosing who you’ll love for the rest of your life.

He used to think it was complete bullshit.

Then he met Groot.

It wasn’t instantaneous like every sappy old couple will tell you it was for them. It was slow and frustrating. The language barrier being the first of many. One of the biggest barriers being that Rocket didn’t believe he deserved a soulmate.

That’s the part that made the least amount of sense to him, that he deserved someone. Deserved love.

Groot picked up on this quickly because he’s such a loving creature… and because he’s not as stupid as people think he is. He figured out the language of Rocket, just like the raccoon had done for him.

If Rocket’s fur got bushy, and he hadn’t bathed lately, that meant he was upset about something. If his tail moved smoothly through the air, Rocket was content. Though, if the tail swished quickly and like a dagger, he was upset. Groot quickly figured out that Rocket was upset a lot, though he didn’t ask why.

-- --

The day Rocket accepted that he had a soulmate was about a year after meeting Groot. He’d been in the shower, thinking shower thoughts like everyone does. They’d just barely gotten away from that planet's government before making a mad dash to wherever it is they were going. Before they’d been almost arrested, Rocket had heard a kid ask the adult they were with about their soulmate mark. Where it would be, when they’d get it. That kind of stuff.

He wishes he’d stopped listening because now he’s searching for it. The lady the kid was with said it would be on his forearm and that it’d be a description of their soulmate in their own words.

Rocket chuckled, thinking about what could be on his arm. He knows he’s vulgar and that the swears a lot and that he can be a little too rude sometimes. He just hoped it wasn’t going to be some vague bullshit or… anyone for that matter.

He really didn’t want a soulmate if he was honest with himself.

Mainly because of the obligation of being nice to someone all the time and he was terrible at lovey dovey. It wasn’t something he thought he could do.

So, when he parts the fur on his forearm and sees: Overgrown houseplant, a hysterical laugh is punched out of him.

He honestly can’t say he’s disappointed. He gets along with Groot, and it’s obvious that Groot likes him, but does he love Rocket?

-- --

After the shower and one or two panic attacks, Rocket searches for Groot. He finds the Flora Colossus on a wall.

Rocket found himself not being able to hide anything from Groot long ago. It was something about the big tree-like creature that made Rocket feel like he didn’t have to pretend. Sometimes he liked that feeling, but now he loathed it.

His tail is between his legs, Groot can tell Rocket is scared. He can’t see why, though, they got away. They did good.

Job well done.

With as much confidence as possible, Rocket says “You’re my soulmate.”

Groot just nods and Rocket wants to punch something. He wanted a reaction. Something. Anything. But a nod, what the hell was he supposed to do with that?

“I am Groot.” I know.

Rocket stares at Groot for what feels like an eternity baffled that nothing major or life changing has happened. He excepted what the old couples talk about. The magic. He didn’t even know what he expected, really, but it wasn’t this.

Not that this was bad… but “What now?”

“I am Groot.” I don’t know.

Groot thinks for a moment as Rocket’s eyes bulge out of his head and he pinches part of his snout. He thinks about how nothing is wrong with the way things are between them. Maybe they should just stay like this?

“I am Groot?” How about we do nothing?

Rocket feels something inside him break a little, something he didn’t know was there. He always thought he’d be the one rejecting his soulmate, if he had one.

“Yeah… um. Yeah, we’ll just forget I said anything. I’m gonna go.. Over there and do something.” He starts to walk away from his friend. A feeling of despair that he doesn’t want to exist weighing heavy in his chest.

“I am Groot.” That’s not what I meant.

The Flora Colossus de-roots himself from the wall and takes a step towards Rocket. His fur is bushy. Rocket’s upset and Groot doesn't like it.

“I am Groot.” I meant, there is nothing wrong with the way we are now.

“I am Groot?” Do we have to change?

Groot had a point. Rocket didn’t want to admit it, but Groot had a point. He shook his head and Groot smiled.

They both sat down on the ground, toe to toe, facing each other. Rocket thought about it for a moment before asking, “Do you want to know what it says…the… soulmate mark?” Groot nods. He looks like he’s trying to reign in his excitement and curiosity.

Rocket parts the fur like he did back in the shower. He finds the words and turns to show it to Groot. The raccoon watches the other male's face the entire time, afraid that something will happen.

Groot lets out his equivalent to a chuckle. It’s more of a rumbling that even Rocket can feel in his chest. The bark plates on Groot’s arm starts moving, then a collection of vines become exposed. On the largest one are small black words: Fuzzy trigger-happy space raccoon.

Another laugh forces itself out of Rocket’s throat, “I guess that’s fitting.” he chuckles. He tries to stop from smiling at Groot's description of him, but he can’t.

-- --

The day that Rocket accepted that he deserved his soulmate’s- Groot’s love was a few months later when he woke up on top of the Flora Colossus. A blanket was draped over his body, it didn’t even go down to Groot’s knees.

Groot had grown moss under Rocket’s head for a pillow.

Rocket felt the other man watching him, he looked up and sure enough, Groot was looking down at him with a small smile on his lips. Warmth filled both their chests.

“We are Groot.” I love you.

Groot had accepted that Rocket most like wouldn’t say it back and he was okay with that. Today was different, though. Before Rocket even realized he said it, “I love you too, Groot.” came out of his mouth.

He couldn’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed or worried or upset.

Rocket was happy with things the way they were.

He still didn’t believe in all that soulmate mumbo jumbo. Nothing’s as easy as it seems, but in that moment Rocket didn’t care.

#grocket #groot x rocket #gotg #gaurdians of the galaxy

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malayaq · 3 years

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OKAY, SO THIS IS JUST ANOTHER RANDOM BLOG POST. i dont care if other people read it or not, meh.

2021. I have surpassed a year of isolation, self criticism and paranoia. I'm not gonna lie, being in a same routine for almost 24/365 had been tough. I almost always thought of suicide even though I love my life. Its just that my mind is the fucker of my whole mental health. What mind cant do, right? Ive been self criticizing myself over some mistake that I am constantly making and also I always make second thoughts that make other people feel like criminals. Always assuming that everyone's gonna kill me because of my lashing out and coarse response.

Too OA right? Maybe I should go see a therapist you thought? Well I also think I have develop agoraphobia. (Fear of new environment). This fucked up life. This fucked up mind.

With my strong will to live still intact, I thought maybe if I find my self worth and also take time to know myself then I would be out of this degrading mindset.

I have searched quizzes for self discovery and 16personalities.com showed up. When I first take this test I resulted to INTP. Then I thought of myself as one for almost 4 mos? Then I read the description again, like being INTP is bullshit. This is nothing like me. Then I answered the question again only to find out that I am INFP. Then I was so happy since I thought of Feeling as something I was all about compare to thinking. I thought that this is only a simple test to take and then I move on to the next. But having to know my MBTI type and still experience life as a fuck up, I got obsessed. I researched more of what INFPs all about. Then I have bumped into the cognitive functions. Dont get me wrong, MBTI is still helpful to me right at the moment but I kinda went overboard with the whole stereotyped being labeled as a personality type kinda thing.

After further and further readings and articles about the INFPs Ive found myself slowly falling more deep into the oblivion. I have never seen myself more damaged than I was before. I have thought that this MBTI is a self discovery quiz to finally understand my shortcomings and why Im feeling myself. I spent my whole 2020 being my own therapist, with MBTI as a basis and yet it fucked me more and more. I think because of this, I would slowly transition to insanity. Because of doubt about the accuracy of what INFPs are in general comparing to the anatomy of my identity, I have retaken mbti online test a gajillion times. Until I have resulted to ISTJ. I thought by that time it was ACCURATE. But then again the feeling is only temporary, being this 'type' had me exhausted; like I was just mimicking it since I read about how accurate it was being ISTJ not knowing that Im only role playing. Then I took the test again, only to find out Im an ISTP, then INTJ, then ESTJ and finally back to INFP—its bullshit.

MBTI is not 100% accurate and also fault in my part, I used it wrong. MBTI was just suppose to define what COGNITIVE functions I use and thats that. The whole INFP bohemian, INFP healer, INFP pure and empathetic should not be taken seriously. If a 16personalities blog says that INFPs are meant to change the world with their values then the world wouldve been a euthopia by now. That is just too much. The description on what it does actually brain wash us to think that the people who have taken the exam should adhere to that definition since they got that as a result in the first place. I take self discovery personally and through psychoanalytical theories its just not the proper way.

Despite the bad effect of the stereotypes and taking it seriously, its did still give me something to enlighten me on some parts of my identity. Cognitive functions.

Before I use to read my cognitive functions and it came to the point that I doubt being an INFP because Fi is like a child that just dreams and would not survive in the real world (as I said, stereotyped). But if you would just read it at a more surface level understanding, I would want to put my 2 cents on the fact that I actually use these. Fi-Ne-Si-Te. Not in a way how a blog post defines it but how it actually plays a part on using the mind. I have learned that I use Fi not because I put worth on what I am FEELING at the moment, but because I use to base my judgements on what I believe is truth. That belief doesn't come from nowhere, from the moment I was born I pick up experiences from the outside and what it fruits happens to he my belief and I sincerely use that as a MAIN function of being PAULINE. I am quite stubborn on what I believe in since it had been proven and tested through EXPERIENCE. Which is gonna be my second function Ne. My Ne for now is unused because of the situation (covid and family business). Although I feel secured and practical (Si), i still think that what I experience at the moment should give me valuable lessons because I am still working externally although (Se). About my Te I am still working on that. For me that is my immature part of myself.

If you read about it you would think this post is ironic. I hate MBTI but I also use it. No. What I just hate is the MISDIRECTION of blog posts that commercialise MBTI for the sake of business. (Typing services, full report subscription/availment). Just because of Fi being value based doesnt make you a samaritan or a humanitarian. Just because you are Ne doesnt mean you are just the class clown or a maybe crazy person. Si doesnt mean being conservative. Te doesnt equate to being in corporate or one of those politicians. Its just the Objective definition to be fit in a classification of personalities. Not your own identity. Look at Adolf Hitler, he is an INFJ but it is said that INFJs are advocates for the betterment of humanity not for the destruction of it, but still it stays on the course right?

As what I have said MBTI is not the devil here, I think just of the link between self worth—self identity—mbti is not right. But its just my opinion. If you are not serious about finding self worth thingy and just wanted to know bits of yourself for the sake of fun and trivia then go do that. But for us with existential problems and detoriarated self worth MBTI should just be taken lightly.

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