#bc it is difficult to talk about these things even casually in a binary world

[pinefem]

i gotta say. watching 3 of my best friends in the whole world slowly descend into trans identification is heartbreaking. from when i was 12 to when i was 15 to now, 18 years old, it's been heartbreaking every time. the first one pushed me to identify as trans myself. it was a difficult, confusing time. i struggle to cope with knowing that others perceive themselves as somehow more manly and masculine than me because of how they identify (tell me they don't all you want, you're lying to yourself). when i was 15, my best friend and i parted ways because it was so devastating to me when she made her way into it. i could not understand why i was so broken up, why i couldn't just accept her, but i was, and i couldn't. a year later i found out she identified as trans. getting to know her again, seeing how female she is and how different she is from men and knowing that one day she may try to change herself, i couldn't stick around. it pushed me over the edge. i cut her out of my life, and i finally started to re evaluate my approach to these things. that one is especially devastating because i know there is a point when i could've convinced her of this, but she felt just as alone and confused as a gnc woman as i always did, and had no way to put it into words. fast forward to now, my closest friend is starting to go by he/him pronouns. she told me she relates to male characters a lot more than female characters, that she is the men she looks up to, and i feel so upset. i've spent months trying to overcome my preference for male characters. i have kept her up to date on my journey. i have had deep conversations with her about feminism, telling her that we were not born into it. making it clear that it's just offensive to me that people think there's some innate male masculinity, but she slowly veered in the other direction, praising trans women for their "beauty" and "bravery," and calling traditional female gender roles empowering.

here's some more backgroujd on her: this woman has like, 6 gay male couples (my opinion on gay ocs is unless they're made by gay/bi men, they're usually just a way to avoid writing female characters). she has 3 or so butch characters, and all of them "wear makeup casually sometimes." none of the men do. (those women ain't butch.) she pulled timeline on me, but i'm calling fucking bullshit. there were plenty of he/him lesbians. but to her, those lesbians weren't women, they were non-binary. she also has like, proper trans characters in the 1920s. she also has one gay male character who's married to a lesbian, which was like, fine, and then she tells me that the lesbian later becomes a surrogate for him and his boyfriend's baby. she doesn't even help raise the baby. it's fucking horrifying. she's obsessed with those 2 male characters, and the women are just fucking supports for their story. the girl's just a fucking incubator. she didn't even have a girlfriend until i pointed out how poorly developed she was.

she told me to listen to butch4butch by rio romeo, and said i might like rio romeo, so i begrudgingly checked her out, and rio romeo turns out to be a "non-binary butch." she isn't even butch. she wears eyeliner, and is like, more alternative than anything. if a man dressed like she did, he'd get called effeminate and gay. my friend (and tons of other tras) think that female masculinity is like, short hair and hoodies, and if you have masculine traits they need to be balanced out, otherwise you aren't a woman. it's fucked up and just,, wrong.

this girl also repeatedly told me to make my gay male oc a trans woman. i was talking about how i wasn't super enthusiastic about him and his bf anymore bc i realized i'm a lesbian, but i'm already super attached to them, even as they are. him being a woman doesn't work for the story, since he needs to unknowingly a woman pregnant for the whole thing to work. it's already bad as it is, but for him to unknowingly get a woman pregnant, "realize" he's "actually a woman," and then pretend to be a woman? actually disgusting. but she kept pushing it. it was so fucking sickening every time. also, lmao, his bf's sister is a terf (and she has been even since before i was) and she would disown him if he dated a tim, but he would never bc he listens to her. it would never work.

uh... let's see. when she told me she isn't a woman and she's considering going by she/they/he pronouns, she told me that it's because she doesn't like being called ma'am, and she prefers male characters. she has some sort of connection to them (yes, as if male characters are actually fundamentally different from female characters and not written differently because of misogyny). like, me too girl. my whole fucking life. the difference between you n me is i don't lie back and whine and say "i can't help it! it's just how i am!" i get up and i fix my shit and re-examine my thoughts about groups of people. i have always, always been one to work through my issues and try to be the best i can be. you clearly haven't. ugh

i just want a best friend who won't end up like this, please.

#terf vent #vent #terf #radical feminist #radical feminism #radfem #terfs do interact #terf safe #tra #liberal feminism

[attanos]

mea ryder meme

tagged by @maharieel thank u <33

tagging @princevaels @mvrianhawke @goodsprings & anyone else who’d like to do it! its gonna be under the cut bc i’m doing both siblings whoops

name: Deimos Ryder

gender: cis male

ethnicity: white (dad is american & mom is swedish)

eye color: grey/blue

hair color/description: close cut strawberry blonde hair, quite thick and will start to curl if let grow out.

skin (color, blemishes, tattoos, ect): he’s pretty pale and he’s got a heck ton of freckles all over his face and body, primarily his back. he’s got quite a few scars, mostly small and unnoticeable, except for a nasty gash that stretches across the entirety of his lower back and a long, slim scar down his arm that he got from a childhood mishap. as for tattoos, he has two, and they’re kept pretty well hidden. he’s got two intertwined snakes, one black and one white, in between his shoulder blades (this is what i imagine it to look like). and then on the left side of his ribs, he has a relatively small and simple bow and arrow tattoo.

misc physical attributes: has a simple woven black bracelet that he refuses to take off. also lives that ath-leisure aesthetic life. he loves those space adidas and nike looks. 

preferred romance option: Gay. it looks like gethin anthony character is into dudes so. Huge Eye Emoji’s. also please let Liam be gay. and let Jaal kiss dudes.

relationship with alec & sibling (do they get along? ect.): deimos’ relationship with his dad is pretty damn strained, something they’re kind of both at fault for, given their inability to actually talk to each other. alec expects a lot from deimos & in turn deimos is terrified in letting him down and tends to distance himself on purpose. he’s a lot closer to his mom, freja, because she’s pretty damn awesome & he feels like he isn’t weighed down by her expectations for him. as for skadi, deimos loves them and would follow them to the end of the world. they never really fought, even though they’re nearly polar opposites. they’ve always trusted each other the most and confided in each other. 

projected bff (the squad mate who isn’t bae but you always take): i think he’s really going to appreciate Liam’s combat experience and then fall into friendship because of how different they are and how he kind of reminds Deimos of Skadi. 

dreams/hobbies/likes: he’s super into retro stuff. old movies and books and games. he like, probably owns an ps3 lmao. he also big time loves space. he’s the kid that claims he say bigfoot in his backyard. he also LOVES flying. it’s own of his favourite things to do when he needs to get out of his own head. even if its just running a simulation. it makes him feel calm and grounded, ironically. 

fears/dislikes: his biggest fear is probably letting down/disappointing his family or letting them get hurt. he’s also not a big fan of huge bodies of water. he doesn’t like the cocky types of leaders who are all talk. not a huge fan of winter and the cold. not that into being casually touched by people. 

other (what else should we know about your ryder?): his reasons for signing up for andromeda make it a not so good time for him, but he really does love exploring this brand new galaxy and meeting all these new species and cultures and creatures. also i just want everyone to understand just how he dresses. imagine a seventeen year old teenage boy just discovered that adidas also make clothing. that’s deimos’ look. 

name: Skadi Ryder

gender: non-binary (dfab)

ethnicity: white (dad is american & mom is swedish)

eye color: grey/blue

hair color/description: thick, wavy strawberry blonde hair that falls just under their bobbies. generally keeps it messily braided back when they’re working but otherwise just wears it down. 

skin (color, blemishes, tattoos, ect): same as Deimos, they’re pretty pale but definitely have a bit more colour to them and a fuck ton more freckles overall but especially on their face. have a lot of scars too, even though they’re work isn’t as dangerous as Deimos’ but they do spent most of their free time doing things like mountain climbing, bungee jumping and sky diving, so they’ve collected their fair share of cuts and bruises over the years. nothing major though. 

misc physical attributes: Skadi has a lot of piercings. nine in their ears. three lobes on each side, two cartilage piercings on the left and one on the right. once upon time they had a bellybutton piercing but took it out a few years back. their latest are nipple piercings. 

preferred romance option: Skadi wants to smooch girls. right now i’m liking Peebee for them. 

relationship with alec & sibling (do they get along? ect.): Skadi’s relationship with alec isn’t really much to talk about. they get along alright enough, though the relationship has been strained lately because of everything with Deimos. they’re a lot closer to their mom, Freja, given their shared interests in the sciences. Skadi would die for Deimos’, is literally going to follow him across the universe. he’s their best and closest friend and Skadi takes it on themself to look out for him and protect him. 

projected bff (the squad mate who isn’t bae but you always take): Skadi is generally fast friends with most people, so i imagine they’ll get along with everyone to some extent. i imagine they’ll really like fucking shit up with Drack. 

dreams/hobbies/likes: Skadi’s favourite hobbies are anything that will give them an adrenaline rush. so most extreme sports. they’re also super into to plants and sports in general, both watching and playing. their dream is probably to continue their studies and get themself a phd in their field. or to make some ground-breaking discovery that would change what people knew about astrobiology or botany. 

fears/dislikes: Skadi doesn’t like to sit still and really, really doesn’t like to be forced into small spaces. prefers cold weather to warm weather. a really picky eater which will probably make life in adromeda a little difficult. 

other (what else should we know about your ryder?): Skadi is just, full of love. they care so much about people and want to help in anyway they can. for them, andromeda proves the perfect opportunity to do this. 

#mea ryder meme #notdei #oc: skadi #there is a lot of text under the cut i'm sorry i just have so many thoughts and feelings #also i'm sorry if i tagged you and you've already done this but if you see this and you haven't feel free to!!! #txt it