#being aro the idea of a soulmate being your romantic love and you cant change or escape that without some kind of tragedy is terrifying

[alcorian]

double life is awesome and i LOVE the soulmate thing but i am beginning to realize that i (aromantic) view soulmates a liiiittle bit differently than most

#dont get me wrong i LOVE the concept #but i dont see soulmates as like #two people are fated to fall in romantic love #i see it as the universe tying them together with a double-sided leash just to see what happens #some of them will fall in love #some of them will just be platonic besties #some of them will hate their pairing #some of them will entirely REJECT their pairing for someone else #and there simply is no 'fated love' #just pair assignments by the universe like kids being paired up by the teacher for projects #and thats WHY i love double life's take on soulmates!!! no fated romantic love!!!!! #i can trust that the entire cast probably wont push the 'your soulmate is inescapable' narrative because theyre a diverse group of people #being aro the idea of a soulmate being your romantic love and you cant change or escape that without some kind of tragedy is terrifying #i love the kind of soulmate where there is no fate and you get to choose what to do with that information #which is the kind of soulmates theyre playing #AND TO BE CLEAR I AM TOTALLY SHIPPING SOME OF THE PAIRS i just appreciate that its not forced and i appreciate the diversity in reactions #because being aro #i would be simply platonic besties with my soulmate #and i like that its being portrayed as a valid option #tl;dr classic soulmate aus are a horror story for me and i think double life has no concept of fated lovers #just people tied together for better or for worse #which may force people to reckon with feelings they already have or develop them from close proximity #but no fate #no requirement #j posts #double life

[a-romantic--aromantic]

How does one figure out if they are romo-aro and not just allo? I ask cuz I've wondered about being both ace and aro before, but romance is something I really love. Unlike a lot of aros I have always felt drawn to the idea of having a 'soul mate' connection with someone, a mutual devotion, yet I basically am not attracted sexually or romantically to anyone irl. I never date or have sex. The main focus of my attraction has been to fictional characters and more recently, system members. But I've never felt like I belonged in the aroace community because of how connected I feel to something that many in the community despise.

I think being drawn to identifying as aromantic is all you really need, and if you feel like romo aro describes how you feel about it that’s enough.

like. okay. so i have been partnering my whole life, dated a ton of people since middle school, plan on having a life partner (or 2) and probably getting married. i think i do believe in some sort of soulmates (for me, at least, but ive got a Thing with luck). romance is and always has been important to me, and so has when ive experienced romantic attraction. but my aromanticism has shaped my experiences and identity a Lot, and the way it, and the community has affected me is really important to me. its done a lot for me and being able to understand my experiences and romanticism *through* my aromanticism has undoubtedly impacted me in unimaginable and life-changing ways. being able to be aro, and accept that i like romance and that the way i experience my attraction is different has helped me understand both myself and the world around me.

ultimately, you can be aro, or you can be allo. and youre allowed to call yourself aro and later on find out that it didnt exactly fit. it sounds like you dont experience attraction, and thats really all it takes. but if not or if that changes, theres no harm in trying it out or learning about the community. the worst that can come from it is that you’ll learn something about yourself and understand yourself better. being part of the community will challenge your expectations and change your understanding of how the world views non-romantic, single, or otherwise independent people. a lot of allo people come out of questioning it feeling a lot more comfortable with being single.

if youre drawn towards it i say go for it. and liking romance and romantic concepts, or even romantic relationships, isn’t necessarily contradictory to what it means to be aromantic. its all about you. your feelings and attraction and experiences. its all up to you and i cant tell you the answer to who you are. but i think you should definitely play with it to find out. who you are today doesnt have to be who you are tomorrow.

#if youre looking for microlabels check out #romo aro #cupioromantic #fictoromantic #and uhhhh #i cant remember the aspec only-attracted-to-system-members ID but it Does exist #and so does #complic #and #plurelic #which might help #gl! #and again all that matters is attraction or not. and its ‘*little to no* attraction’ for a reason. all up to you! :) #what’d you ask? #whats up bees #hey bees #they speak #rambles

[unzip-your-guts]

I dont talk about it much in real life but I cannot emphasize how important my aromantism is to me. Like I love being aro,and I cant exactly find the words to explain why. Part of it is there's a word for it, there's a word for why I prefer friends over partners, there's a word for why I tended to be a bit absent in my past romantic relationships, there's a word for why I want the affection of a relationship but not the romantic bits.

There's also something I find uniquely beautiful in aromantism, to feel fine on your own in a world that clings to the idea that in order to be happy one must find their "soulmate". To face the world and say "nah I'm good" in the face of hundreds who claim "you'll change your mind eventually" is brave and radical.

I think all aro people are awesome and amazing, whether you like and participate in romantic relationships, don't care, or are totally repulsed, you're awesome and valid, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'm proud to be aromantic and I dont want to be any other way.

#local enby #aromantic #aromantism #aro pride #voidpunk

[anti-mistajules]

For the aromantic asks, would you pick which ones you want, or if you could do all of them? I’ve never heard about it before but I’m really curious and would like to know more from your point of view

Well bc you’ve never heard of it before here’s a little definition I got from here (if u wanna read more about it):

An aromantic is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. Where romantic people have an emotional need to be with another person in a romantic relationship, aromantics are often satisfied with friendships and other non-romantic relationships.

What arospec label(s) do you identify with?

I’m just plain ol Aromantic

Sexual orientation?

Bisexual

Are you romance-repulsed?

To a degree? I don’t usually mind seeing romance in media, I just get a little uncomfortable with seeing PDA and when people view me in a romantic way I feel like physically sick.

Do you relate to voidpunk?

Do I relate to what now?

What kinds of attraction (romantic, sexual, aesthetic, sensual, platonic, etc) do you experience?

Sexual, aesthetic, and platonic definitely! Im not too big on sensual attraction and I don’t feel romantic attraction at all.

How do you like to show people you (platonically) love them?

I’m a huge ‘acts of service’ and ‘gift’ person! I do whatever I can to make things easier for my friends and try to give them gifts they love and deserve! I also like to spend time with them when I can and talk about whatever! Basically if I can talk to you on the phone or in person past 12am, I love you friend!!

Do you want to remain single all your life or do you want to have some sort of life partner?

I wanna remain single, I really need my alone time I couldn’t imagine living with someone for an extended period of time.

If you want one, what is your dream partner?

no! 

Which is your favorite of the 3 aromantic flags?

Uhhh fuck im not too flag savvy??? I like this one:

Your opinion on soulmates?

allonormative as fuck and perpetuates the idea that you need another person in your life to ‘complete’ you which is complete garbage!

Your opinion on shipping?

Shipping is fun but I don’t get too into it.

Do you ship characters in romantic/sexual relationships, or do you only ship characters in familial and platonic relationships?

Honestly all of the above but mostly platonic and sexual.

Are you out to anyone in real life?

My close friends and my immediate family. Or at least I tried to come out to them but they were just like “you won’t get married?? Ya right lol ur stupid” and I didn’t use the word ‘aromantic’ so I guess technically im not out to them?? Its not something I hide, but when explaining it to others I don’t use the word bc I don’t wanna explain or want people to think im one of those “tumblrinas’ who ‘make up orientations’ bc there’s a lot of negativity to unpack there so I just don’t bother

How did you come out?

Once I found out what aromanticism was I immediately related to it so I told my best friend first and we had a conversation about it and then Id just be like “hey I don’t get why people date people…I don’t wanna do that” to everyone else.

Do you know any aromantic people in real life?

Nope! I would love to meet some!!

How do you feel about your aromanticism?

Honestly its so freeing…I feel very validated knowing there’s a whole community of people who feel the same way I do about romance. Im pretty proud to be aro with my friends and online but irl to my family and acquaintances Im not as open with it.

What is the worst part of being aromantic?

The lack of representation and the constant erasure. I highkey hate being grouped with asexuals so much bc not every person who is aro is ace and vice versa! They’re separate orientations but they are NEVER treated like it and its so annoying. (THIS IS NOT ACE HATE!! I SUPPORT ACES WITH ALL MY ARO HEART!!! LOVE YALL!!)

Also the constant fear that you cant be friends with the opposite sex bc they’ll always want to be romantically involved and that your allo friends will leave you for their S/O lol

ALSO WHEN UR PHONE CHANGES AROMANTIC TO AROMATIC >:///

What is the best part of being aromantic?

Not being in a relationship lol people complain so much about their relationship troubles and im like ‘damn COULDN’T be me’

How did you find out about aromanticism?

I found out through either Tumblr or google I cant remember which??? Or maybe I saw it on Tumblr and googled it? Either way Tumblr was a factor

When did you know you were aromantic?

I tried dating my best friend and ended it in like 3 days bc I felt so fucking weird about the whole thing like very uncomfortable??? Like I felt like I couldn’t talk to him about certain stuff anymore and just being called someone’s “girlfriend” makes my skin crawl. I always had some weirdness around romance but I thought it was just bc I haven’t “found the right person yet” but if anyone was the “right person” it was my best friend and I couldn’t do it. So I did some research and found out about aromanticism, related so hard, and have been very happy with the label ever since.

Do you have any aromantic headcanons?

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG AND BRUCE BATMAN WAYNE ARE AROMANTIC AND YOU WILL PRY THOSE HEADCANONS OUT OF MY COLD, DEAD HANDS YOU COWARDS

What would be your dream representation of an aromantic/aro-spec character?

An aromantic character who is allosexual (preferably bi) who loves their friends and family and would do anything for them! Doesn’t go “EW!!! GROSS!!” At romance but is just like “nah ill pass, loving my friends is all I need!” and isn’t super oblivious to romantic gestures or infantilized/made into a joke for not being interested in romance. Also if they call out allonomativity that’d be tight

Who is your aromantic icon/idol?

NOBODY BC THERE ARE NO AROMANTICS IN MEDIA

What is your favorite song that relates to aromanticism, or is simply not about romantic love?

Analysis Paralysis by Awake at Last (At least I don’t get a romance vibe off of it??) and Sonic Youth by Crush 40 for all you Sonic fans out there. (And honestly most sonic songs are aromantic BANGERS)

What is your favorite movie that is not focused on romance?

BATMAN V SUPERMAN !!!

What is your favorite tv show that is not focused on romance?

POKEMON !! Im gonna be honest with y’all I think the reason Im aro is bc I watched nothing but Pokemon until I was like 10 (I didn’t stop I just also watched other things) and it is the least romance oriented show ever like….while y’all where out watching Disney princesses ‘fall in love’ or whatever I was crying over Pikachu’s Goodbye so don’t talk to me about heartbreak. Also Ash and Pikachu’s friendship (and of course his friendship with all his traveling partners) really fucking resonated with me and I think thats why I hold my friends above all else.

What popular romantic pairing do you see as only platonic?

SONAMY

Do you experience squishes?

I think I’ve had maybe one or two but they went away quick once I realized that I just like this person bc I think we’d be good friends and I get excited at the thought of making longterm friends.

Do you own any aromantic pride merch or outfits? What are they? If not, what would you like to own?

I do not but id love to own a flag or two

Do you have any advice for anyone who may be questioning if they are aromantic or on the aromantic spectrum?

Just own it. I’m actually actively trying to take my own advice bc like I said I don’t use the word irl but like,,,if you think you’re aro or somewhere on the spectrum, find a label that speaks to you and just own it. Being Aromantic isn’t cringey, its a valid orientation just like any other and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Ive spent too much time pretending to be alloromantic just to fit in, I’ve embarrassed myself too many times by pretending to be allo, Ive gone too far into my life pretending to be something im not just because its easier for others to understand. Ive gone through too much to discover my orientation to have some fucking losers on the internet tell me that its ‘not a real orientation’. Im aromantic. I feel comfortable in that label and no one can take that away from me.

#ask anti #Anonymous