#booksandchainmail reads pale

[booksandchainmail]

Pale Arc 10

So I gather that Pale has finished. In a way, this takes some timing pressure off of me: while I have not been liveblogging at a particularly speedy rate, I've been aware that more Pale kept being added faster than I was catching up. Now any time I read a chapter I'm actually catching up, as opposed to losing ground! I would love to say that I'll be picking up the pace from here on, but I said that last time and it was blatantly false, and also I think work will be busy for the next few weeks.

I've also been going back and archiving my liveblogs locally, just in case, which has reminded me how different my format was for the first arcs: I switched from end of chapter recaps to live reactions in early arc 4. No wonder I was going through chapters so quickly back then!

And I have a favor to ask if anyone wouldn't mind: I know there are stats floating around about Pale's length, but I'm worried about running into spoilers. Could someone let me know a) how many arcs there are b) what the total word count is and c) what the word count is as of where I am?

Housekeeping aside, thoughts on the arc:

Interesting structure, reminds me a bit of Worm's Sentinel arc

Really effective at building my knowledge of and engagement in the various new Kennet Others

Lots of reveals: Toadswallow's interlude blew my mind from a worldbuilding perspective, and Edith's unwrapped another layer of the mystery

Snowdrop and Avery! No thoughts, just feelings.

So now we know that Edith was for sure involved in the murder (which at this point was obvious, and has been pretty clear since the beginning). But then there's the immediate twist that she's not running it, or even seemingly part of the main group of this scheme. I do like this structure, where there's an obvious suspect from the beginning, it turns out to have been her, and it feels like a bit of a letdown, only for there to be another twist. I think a lot of mystery novels/tv shows do this probably? But on the scale of a single book/episode, not something as sprawling as Pale.

Actually, going back to those early arcs where I was doing a lot of theorizing, one of my guesses on how someone could arrange the Carmine Beast's death without having to reveal or lie about it was "There is an obvious killer, but they’re a fall guy acting on someone else’s behalf". Which it looks like it is! Edith is suspicious from the beginning, has no way around hiding her involvement while being honest and open, and the plan was probably for her to get caught from the start (I mean, maybe the real mastermind(s) didn't think the girls would get this far, but it does feel like Edith was expendable).

But now we're back to trying to figure out members of this conspiracy, knowing that Maricica is involved. There are three basic options for conspirators: 1) original Kennet Others 2) new Kennet Others (hid their involvement from the start and used recruitment to come in) and 3) people outside of Kennet.

I can't think of anyone outside of Kennet we've met who makes sense for that, so that idea might come down to "new character", which seems unsatisfying, so I'm going to skip theorizing about it.

Characters I don't think are involved: Tashlit, John, Alpeana, Toadswallow, Nibble and Chloe, Crooked Rook, Miss, Guilherme. We've seen inside almost all their heads, Edith and Maricica seem opposed to them in private conversation. Putting a caveat on Guilherme because Faerie.

Matthew could go either way, he's been involved with Edith's hostility but clearly doesn't know everything.

Charles is suspicious to me based on vibes and ability to lie, Bluntmunch seems to not be trusted by Toadswallow, Cig is working with Edith but it seems like a recent arrangement, Montague is very convenient to the conspirators but seems friendly, no idea about Lis, Ken, Jabber, or the new goblins.

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow #otherverse

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

tag 9 people to get to know better

tagged by @booksandchainmail and @apollo-cackling

3 ships: Avery/Liberty (Pale), Luna-Terra/Pluto/Saturn (Heaven Will be Mine), Aral/Jole/Cordelia (Vorkosigan Saga)

First ever ship: I tried to work this out but I genuinely can't remember.

Last song: Reflets dans l'eau by Debussy.

In the interest of honesty this is making my music taste sound more sophisticated than it is. Most of what I listen to is songs I've heard in AMVs or musicals or popular songs that people with taste would deride me for being moved by.

Last movie: Rewatched the second half of Spotlight a while ago.

Currently reading: I just finished In the Presence of Absence a book of prose poetry by Mahmoud Darwish. It had a lot of powerful individual lines/sections but the book as a whole didn't entirely hold together for me.

I'm just starting Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk. I've only read the first chapter but it's a great opening and I'm eager to continue.

Currently watching: Nothing. I don't watch much TV/movies.

Currently consuming: Tomato soup and a roll because it is cold and rainy.

Currently craving: Four cheese pizza

Tagging: @sugarbeta @hottakehoulihan @iknownparadoxi @the-world-annealing @zachdefense @lca-3rd @1can-ka-no-rey9 @ignis-cain @wings-liker (ignore if you're not interested and if you are interested but weren't tagged consider yourself tagged!)

[apollo-cackling]

tag 9 people to get to know better

tagged by @st-just and @booksandchainmail!

3 ships: catradora (She-Ra), Sheo/Nailsmith (Hollow Knight), and... Touko/Yuu (Bloom Into You)?

first ever ship: in the fandom 'I ship this' sense and not just 'I read this book and thought the romance in it was neat/cute'? Elphaba/Glinda from the Wicked musical iirc

last song: I'm listening to the Hollow Knight Outer Wilds soundtrack rn but the last vocal song I've listened to is... *checks* Slow West Vultures by the Mountain Goats

last movie: ...Portrait of a Lady on Fire I think? it was a while back (august?)

currently reading: uh.

[ID: screenshot from Goodreads showing that I have 12 books on my 'currently reading' shelf /end ID]

haven't had a lot of time to read recently, so my attention's drifting between a bunch of different books, but I've been slowly reading Pale Lights and Harrow the Ninth, and I'm cautiously hoping my attention sticks lol

currently watching: don't think I've watched any show in around a year, but I've been listening to the Silt Verses recently

currently consuming: seaweed crackers from 大统华/T&T

currently craving: rice noodles from this place I used to live close to but don't anymore

tagging uhh (no pressure ofc) @in-bituin-the-stars @burn-throughout-eternity @histrionicintrovert @terresdebrume @intergalactic-bean @transdicegoblin @iffeelscouldkill @wrecked-cuticles @madtechnomage and anyone else who wants

#'why do you capitalise some proper nouns and not othe-' yes #my rambles #I wrote this last night but then due to technical difficulties couldn't post it so- #what's my tag for these again #tag games #thanks for the tag!

[st-just]

tagged by @lilietsblog

Last Song: Cut UP by Everything Everything (as part of leaving youtube on autplay for multiple hours)

Last Show/Currently Watching: Finished Chainsaw Man, currently floundering slightly trying to decide what to watch next.

Currently Reading: Hummingbird Salamander by Jeff Vandermeer (300/350 pgs), and also following Pale and Pale Lights as far as currently updating web serials go. Pass if we're counting fanfic.

Comics wise theoretically following Saga and Monstress, but like a month+ behind in both.

Current Obsession: Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous, mostly. 100-hour rpgs kind of colonize every bit of free time you let them.

tagging uhhh @txttletale @lifeattomsdiner @booksandchainmail @self-loving-vampire @red-anansi @frankly-ludicrous @wearethekat ?

#tag game

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 10.z

Every time she complained, her parents reminded her she was eleven. Those toys were for children half her age. Not for her.

Younger than I'd thought, but it makes her behavior make more sense (I'd expect a teenager to avoid grabbing food from a child, or at least have more complicated feelings about it. At eleven, "children" is not yet a separate protected group for her)

Nothing was for her except this dangerous, dancing light.  This was hers in a big, out of control way. She gulped in air, lungs hurting, breath still held. Muscles released because she couldn’t hold them taut any longer and then she clenched them again, and in the process almost nodded into the fire, nose touching it. She held onto the flame for as long as she could.

I can't tell really if this girl is an Other/becoming one/Aware, or if this is just normal pyromania

She found a place to crouch, to devour the stolen snacks.  To chug a soda until her throat hurt.  Trying not to eat, but to release that tension. There was only one way to release that tension.

this cannot be a sustainable rate of arson

She had an impulse, a desire to eat, to reach for food, but the walls that stretched to her left were without window or door.  Any energy food might have given her was denied to her.

I was wondering about the food thing, but it might be linked to the fire as well: if she's more flame than human, it makes sense she would be hungry as fire is. I'm also reminded of the norse myth where Loki fails to out-eat a man who is revealed to be the anthropomorphizication of fire, because nothing eats more than fires

A crowd dispersed, blurry, barely there.  Behind them, they left the echo of a song sung, filled with faith, of love and loss.  Behind them they left a wreath by the roadside, a girl’s portrait in a heart forged out of flowers, the image on the portrait bleeding away in the rain and the dark. The light helped to clarify her. The feelings heavy in the air helped to lift her up. This was a dying image, the rain putting out candles, the darkness creeping in. This was a door.

oh. She's the Girl by Candlelight.

Lantern, candlelit vigil and arson.  She was three halves put together.

beacon and boundary, grief and remembrance, destruction and delight

Following the swell of pain from the people in the car as they fought to get out as the fire erupted around them, the traces of darkness from her proximity to the Abyss were fed with another sort of power.

not wild about that! But she doesn't seem that sentient or capable of decisions against fire at this point, so I'm not holding it against her. It just seems that early power from killing people might be a bad influence

A girl who saw beauty and glory and herself in fires faced a group of men and women who held the small candles, who were awash in emotion and faith and remembering the beauty and best parts of a young teenager who’d crashed by the side of the road. There were alignments there. Places to meet. The chasing of the flame, the self-destructive pursuit, the fear, running… that was common ground between the pyromaniac and the girl who was suffocating in smoke.  They found places for the parts of themselves that weren’t whole to meet and to marry. The vigil and the suffocating girl married in their own ways, in the senselessness of a tragedy still in the making. They met and joined in hope.

I love this worldbuilding, complex spirits are rapidly becoming one of my favorite kinds of Others

And I guess the lantern doesn't count here, because it was just a tool collected, not a consciousness embraced. I wonder if Bailey could have become part of the Girl by Candlelight if she hadn't fallen into the Abyss?

This was a cell, yes, and she was imprisoned for life, but that life was to be a short one.  The parts of the diagram that had yet to be used were a kind of extraphysical machinery made of lines in the ground.  Machinery that would saw her open and puncture her, machinery that would leech out power, machinery that would latch onto her and pull pieces of her in separate directions with more brutality than if she was flesh and they’d lashed her to four chains and four horses, each horse set to run in a separate direction. She would be spiritually butchered and the pieces of her portioned out like so much meat.  It waited for a single word.

yeah okay that would leave you with some antipathy about binding

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be cool about this so I assumed you wouldn’t,” Moss said, staring at them with empty eye sockets.  “Cut away my ability to feel pain, cut away fear, cut away mercy.  I put other things inside.  Curses.  Lesser Others.”

fucking hell Matthew (do not let Verona find out about this technique) (or either or the others actually)

Fingers hooked in empty eye sockets, and she could feel the echoes there. You have to do it yourself, Matthew.  Reach back and around and then tear them out.  Then we’ll awaken you. I’m scared. The fear in the moment is the price you pay for advantage later.

fucking hell Matthew's parents!

A man who had been wounded early on, who had been condemned for the sins of his father.  Who had found peace and contentedness, but in the smallest and simplest way, and had no drive to venture further. Take away what he’d managed to scrabble together for himself, however, and…

No ambition, so it's not for that that he would pursue the Carmine Beast (at this point I'm assuming he knows what Edith is up to). But to keep her safe and prevent the Doom...

“We did as you suggested, and found the origins of the original echoes.  Sydney is twenty years old now.  She gave up the pyromania.  Became a different kind of wild teenager.  Found release in drugs and sex, instead.”

hey, she survived! And maybe isn't doing great, but it's still something

“Kennet.  I’ll be blunt, Matthew.  They get impatient if I spend more than a few days here, and they like and trust me more than they like or trust you.  You’ve been here for months.”

I'm curious as to who "they" are at this point. I guess Miss, the Faerie, some of the goblins, Alpeana, John? Not the Choir yet. That's a small group, I wonder if there were more Others who are no longer around?

“No.  They’re asking him to kill her.  She’s too dangerous.  Kennet’s become too large a town, things that would be fine on their own in a smaller place are concerning in aggregate.”

huh. So this is probably pretty soon before the Hungry Choir was made... I wonder if it was partly as a power source to replace the lantern?

“I wish… I had sworn something else.  The things I have in abundance are things he lacks.  Fire inside, something desired, a goal to move to.  I can patch over damage and he is so damaged.  I have the eyes of two people and a crowd, glittering with flame, and his eye sockets are empty and dark.  We would fit together so…”

oh that would be neat, I love a gestalt/mutual possession. And this is why you should qualify your oaths more! Saying "I will not possess your body without your uncoerced consent" would have fixed this

“No.  Possessive desire.  I want to live in the spaces inside his skin.  I want him to be mine, bright and alive.  I want to mix with him beneath the surface of his skin.”

this is very much my jam. Thinking fondly of shards from ward.

John had shot his longtime friend and companion, the girl Yalda.

huh. I'm admittedly a bit fuzzy on the timeline, but I'd assume that creating the Choir would have to be done soon after Yalda's death. And the Girl by Candlelight doesn't seem to be involved in that, which would mean she didn't make the Choir, and so isn't the mastermind behind the murder of the Carmine Beast

She needed and wanted something else.  The light and life that was Matthew. She would find some echo he’d left and marry herself to it, and she had no illusions that she would live for long after. Blackest oblivion would claw her to pieces and disseminate those pieces over dark void, but she would go with the echo of a man who made her life brighter.

awww

“We’re going to remember them, reminiscing on deeds and dares, and I challenge the everloving shit out of you, goblin and all, to name the best way to remember each of them.  Take your turns, give us your best memories of them, name their best deeds, or come up with the best way to remember them.  We’ll settle for the best one, with respect and spoils from the dead going to the person who came up with it.”

this is oddly touching and sentimental for a goblin funeral. Of course, I imagine most of the stories will be crude, but the structure is sweet

“And you shouldn’t draw any,” Snowdrop said.  “Nobody wants them, they suck.  It’d be thoughtless.” Cherrypop burst into laughter, pointing, while Peckersnot quietly glanced around, made sure nobody was arguing with Snowdrop, then smiled before sitting down.

I think the art is Verona's influence, good to see it encouraged

“We’re holding a second service later.  John’s swinging by, he’s out on patrol now.  The trio will visit.  We could have words with them then.” “Mmm, maybe.  What do we even say?” “We make peace.  If the Witch Hunters come in greater numbers…”

does Matthew know? I feel like he'd have to, but this does not seem like the thought you'd have about people you were trying to kill

“You want, Edith James.  You desire, you hunger, you have a spark of dancing flame you chase, and you have thoroughly cornered yourself.  You want a release of this building tension, and you will do something destructive or self-destructive to find that release.”

don't love that!

“Miss has returned.  The practitioners know.  If they don’t already know you and I are collaborating, she will tell them.”

I'd hoped they could keep that quiet for a bit. At least Maricica doesn't seem to know about Rook?

She’ll focus herself on the witch hunters who are on the approach, next.

goddammit more of them

“Guilherme hired the Witch Hunter.  He used the contact he’s been in touch with, a human who interacts with the courts.  I can’t ever be sure when he outclasses me in scheming, and he may never admit it clearly, but I think it didn’t go as he wished it would.  His attention is divided, and mine is singularly focused on countering what he does.”

what. why.

did he want the witch hunter going after Edith and Maricica? Because that's basically the opposite of what happened

“The door has been opened and I don’t think it will close until summer’s end, at the earliest.”

thing's happening at summer's end:

Carmine Furs ascension

witch hunters peak

Verona's housing situation goes back into flux

school starts

Maricica approached until their toes nearly touched, a foot of space between them.  She pulled back the wing and showed Edith the syringe. “How did you know the other one-” “A look in your eye, as you glanced at me.  Fear, apprehension, need.  Few things match to those specific proportions of those three things I saw.  Seeing how you looked at your husband confirmed it for me.”

so I had assumed the syringe was a weapon of some kind. But is it medicine instead? Maybe almost a vaccine against the Doom?

"The girls are motivated, thanks to Guilherme’s Witch Hunter.  They will come for you.  They will bind you. Perhaps until the end of Summer.  Perhaps this is the only way you’ll ever be free of that binding.  However it unfolds, I will buy your silence with this gift.  Do your best to avoid the binding, fight them, maneuver, enlist my help if you wish, enlist anyone’s, but you must swear that if captured and compelled to talk, you will say nothing about us.”

fuck! That's cutting off a line of inquiry. Good to know Maricica thinks the girls will succeed against Edith though?

And interesting "us". It's a bit weird phrasing if Maricica was just referring to her and Edith, so who else is involved?

“If left alone, the Doom of Edith James will dwindle and fluctuate in strength, getting weaker over time. That darkness that binds Matthew to you will lose strength over time and Matthew will be left to wonder and theorize why it changed its behavior. In the midst of that wondering, it will cross his mind that it was convenient that you two were drawn together by your need for him. He knows you better than anyone, and he will connect changes in your mood and approach to the changes in the Doom and see your hand behind it all.”

oh, so the opposite of a vaccine! What the hell Edith, that is incredibly manipulative. So she's been dosing herself to keep the Doom strong so that Matthew thinks he can't leave, I guess that's a mark towards him not knowing what's going on.

“You’re a villain more degenerate than any of our local goblins, Edith. Fostering the darkness inside yourself so it gives him a reason to save you, to stay close. Letting it fill that space inside you, extracting it, over and over, to make your own monster. Making it stronger to match his growth in strength. Do you put it in his food, or do you inject it into him while he sleeps?”

or dosing him I guess! what the fuck.

thinking about how desperate Matthew seems to find a way to save her permanently, how worn down keeping the Doom has left him, how it's blocked him from all other practice...

I was somewhat sympathetic to Edith on the assumption the goal of her schemes was to stop the Doom for good. What the hell.

Maricica laughed.  “That ugliness from inside you has grown to such terrible proportions as you’ve used it to poison the man you love.  You’ve no idea.”

no wonder this Faerie of Dark Fall likes her

The sweeping dark of oblivion that reached over her wore her face, now. It slithered inside Matthew because she couldn’t.

...

Edith’s parents were the wary, dancing, ever-pursuing shadows at the edge of her life, always wanting to be closer to her, when she didn’t care enough. The body of Edith, at least, was happy, content she had spared them too much grief.

this is reminding me a bit of Mary from Twig. wildbow returning to the concept of someone who looks like one's child but is not playing the role half-heartedly

“Good luck with our local practitioners, dear Edith. Put on a good show and convince them you’re our primary culprit, and we’ll release you from any binding or circumstance when we’re done.”

WELL IT FOOLED ME

and here I was thinking that "Edith was behind it all" was a bit of a letdown as a solution

"For now, you should do your best to survive. If you can keep your relationship with Matthew in the wake of this, it’ll be a miracle."

lol

She still held stasis, maintaining vigil, holding onto love even as it hurt. Even if that love, if she really were able to be honest with herself, was as good as gone.

:\

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 10.3

Lucy hesitated, taking it in.  It wasn’t a grand betrayal.  Toadswallow had his goals and whatever the nuances were, he hadn’t wanted to share them.

the fact that this isn't having an immediate impact is making me nervous it's part of a longer plan from Crooked Rook

The danger is exactly that. Pressure, inexorable, annoying, sapping away enough of your focus

taylorcore

The arrow for War, the forking branch for Nature, the hourglass arrangement of two triangles with points touching for Time, the angular C-shape for Fate, and the gateway, like a keyhole without a floor, for Death. There was another, and it sometimes replaced nature, sometimes overlapped with Fate, for Fortune, but that was a newer thing.

most of these are intuitive, but I'm curious about Fate and Death. Fate is the Threads and the woven object iirc, Death is the Pale and the skull. I'm guessing Fortune would have some kind of circle as a symbol to represent the coin?

she reached into her pocket, found her phone and coiled up earphones, and selected the first song that felt thematic, close to the top of her playlist. Au Rii – Dance Into Dark. A sultry, purring guy’s voice almost straining to push through a backdrop of throbbing, dark instrumentals and a back-backdrop of synths that were just biting enough that they could be hard to listen to.

You would think having these kinds of cues would make putting together a playlist for Pale easier. You would think!

She missed Verona.  The humor, the cleverness, the idea that no matter how bad it got, her friend could pull out an idea and salvage things.  Or partially salvage things.  Verona pushed things and kept them from never falling into a rut. She missed Avery. Avery, who could normally find her way to Lucy’s side even if she was nowhere nearby. Who was decent enough as a person that it felt like Lucy was better off for it.

🥹

When she’d been afraid that this would all mount up, and that everything would fall down in a way that put all the responsibility on her shoulders.  That she’d be essentially alone against a hostile world.

as she has felt everywhere outside her home for most of her life

The music throbbed, helping to center her and make her feel attuned to Death.  Death as something seductive to the guys, because Guilherme flirted with it to add spice to life and John kept on sacrificing his frigging self and Lucy was worried it would one day stick.  Death as dark and uncomfortable and intense as an idea.

queering the attracted-to-Death binary etc etc

Edith looked down at the beginnings of the diagram.  “Don’t.” “Any reason?” Lucy asked. “Because I said not to, Lucy."

don't pull the adult card on her

“An out of control ghoul getting at family members is something that could affect Matthew or me just as easily.  But you, as so many practitioners do, seem to treat binding diagrams and your ability to entrap us in a-” There were two more gunshots. “-cavalier way. It’s easy for you and life altering for us,” Edith finished.

maybe not the time!

“I have fire, she doesn’t like it.  Others have their own ideas.  I want you to trust us, Lucy.”

then stop planning on killing her!

She abandoned the rod, but kept the ring and hot lead ready.  She could spend a minute disarming this arrangement, but… instead she reached out to touch it, laying her hand flat against the side. The weapon ring transformed it into a weapon. A squat, rectangular shotgun. Ball bearings spilled out into the floor as she tipped it down to look at the handle.

clever way to disarm it

“You’re a clever girl, Lucy,” Guilherme said.  “You’ve learned many tricks when separated from your friends.  That’s a cleverness you need to embrace and capture.  You can do this.”

Fae teachers suck! Not the time!

She’d had other scares too.  Her fingers touched her arm where the Nettlewisp had been. You like it too much. Some small, subconscious part of herself had liked being prickly.  She’d liked that aesthetic, the twining vines, the spikes, the barbs.

the aesthetic slapped!

and once again Lucy is back to choosing whether or not to pick up the knife, between being the abrasive principled leader or the diplomat

Alexander had taught them about coup and claim.  She claimed this for herself.  She found the other connections to the other bells in this building and held them firm. Shadowy hands gripped the wire above and below the bell and held it fiercely taut. The bell jostled as smoke reached toward it from one direction, tugging, ready to pull away and jangle, but a reaching out of smoke from the opposite direction made it move back to center instead.

I am mentally pairing this scene with the one from earlier this arc of setting off the bells all at once for visuals for the Lucy song on my playlist

There were answering flashes without noise.  John.  Lucy had never meant for him to keep the silence rune on the gun.  She wondered for a moment if he’d want something more permanent-

awww

“Montague!” Matthew called out.  “Secure the remaining traps!  See if you can’t get the network!  Lucy, signal him!” There was a moment, brief, where it sure seemed like the Witch Hunter had looked at Lucy.

did the Witch Hunter have her name before? Because he seems like the kind of guy who's not averse to using mundane methods to track her down

Lucy had the feeling they’d let him pursue the ghouls, surrounded him from a very wide distance he couldn’t necessarily track, where bells and his influence were thinner, and treated the ghouls as a sacrifice or necessary risk to get the man under control.

the ghouls who are allied with Crooked Rook, not with Edith

Three things happened in the same moment, and there was nothing Lucy could do about it.  Chloe was fast, and Guilherme had taught Lucy about being fast, fighting against fast.  He knew well enough what to do. But Edith was ready, too. Fire erupted between Chloe and everyone else.

I wonder if Edith didn't want Lucy putting up barriers because using fire to contain Chloe instead would give Edith a chance to weaken or kill Chloe with plausible deniability?

She turned her attention to Edith instead. Another burst of flame and the emergence of the Girl by Candlelight made her change her mind. Lucy’s eyes widened as she realized who the most apparent target was.

Or that! Keeping Chloe feral and attacking lets Edith weaken Others (with her own allies not in range?), gives her a chance to get at Lucy, and maybe even deliberately keeps the Witch Hunter in play to whittle down those Others not allied with her

Lucy found the catch that served as the trigger for the little trap, then changed her mind.  She aimed down, twisting her lower body away, and pressed the muzzle against Chloe’s thigh.

kudos to Lucy for trying for non-lethal damage in a situation this dangerous

Her eyes adjusted to the light of the moonlight outside, magnified by the mask she wore, and she saw the chalk. Marred. Smudged out. Chloe leaped past it, catching Lucy. How much of this was intentional?

fuckfuckfuckfuck.

At this point Edith's only barely maintaining plausible deniability, she doesn't care anymore that Lucy knows to not trust her

The fact that the people who had gotten hurt were not their prime suspects.  John, the goblin riff-raff, Guilherme…

people who weren't warned... I guess this is a good sign for trusting Guilherme?

Melissa stopped running, skin tearing away in folds that reached around.  She lifted up off the ground, slender, tall, dark-haired Maricica, looking down at the encircled Witch Hunter. Lucy looked away, hand cupped so she couldn’t see the man. It was clear what would happen.

welp, guess that's dealt with

The sound of it all was too much.  Lucy turned away, walking, without looking at the aftermath. No, there was more aftermath to be had. This wasn’t the sort of thing that settled this easily. The Witch Hunter had friends, he had an employer, and…

GUESS THAT'S DEALT WITH

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

[booksandchainmail]

The cat-faced girl had shadow clinging close to her cloak, to the point it was hard to make her out in the dark, not helped by the dark fur of her face. Her eyes flashed violet as she looked over everyone and everything. Her cloak was pulled over her hat, brim and point swept back, and made the hood more pointy behind her head. The one with the fox’s face was literally smoking, the smoke flowing down her body and cloaking most of it, forming a whorl at her feet. When traces of the smoke graced her orange-furred face, the glowing of her red eyes extended to the smoke. Her hair did something similar, fox’s fur becoming long, tight curls with a faint red tint, the ends of the hair impossible to distinguish from the rising smoke. The third girl was quicker, moving from a point behind the other two, catching up, and skipping easily over the four-foot high fence of thick plastic netting, finer nets, and the barbed wire that Tattoos was stringing up.  A long cape fluttered behind her before she landed in a crouch, a hockey stick resting against her shoulder.  Her face was a deer’s, with antlers.

Some more pictures and technical details:

Each is a piece of dragonscale about 1.5 inches wide and 6.5 inches long. These could be made into bracelets, but I prefer to keep them as fidgets, they are a very satisfying texture and great to curl up or turn around or gently toss.

All rings are from theringlord and are 18ga SWG. The outer rings are 9/32, the inner rings are 3/16.

Verona's is black outer rings, with interior rings of purple, medium purple, and light purple. Lucy's is orange outer rings, with interior rings of red, radical pink, and dark rose. Avery's is bronze outer rings, with inner rings of gold, yellow, and rose gold.

#pale #wildbow #otherverse #chainmail #my chainmail #booksandchainmail reads pale #there will be more pale chainmail at a later date

[booksandchainmail]

Ms. Durocher's introductory binding class

#pale #wildbow #otherverse #booksandchainmail reads pale

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 11.2 extra

I just want you to know I’ve been trying to be my best self and do good in the world and if there’s something that ends up keeping me from coming back to you guys I hope you know that at least.

this bit is incredibly sad to me. "If I died, I died doing the right thing" is actually a pretty good ending, but coming from a kid it's just bleak

All the not listening you did and the ignoring me and everything? I forgive you for that and I think I understand

I wonder how this will feel going on? I imagine that even if Avery is glossing over this a bit for her parents to not feel guilty, she must have done some final sour searching to reach this point. It must be weird to come to terms with everyone in your life, be prepared to not leave regrets behind, and then get to keep on going with the clean slate

Sheridan, you had my back when it counted and I can’t tell you what it means to me, or how it changed the idea of what family is in my head. You get so down on yourself but you’re so so so much better and cooler than you think you are.

oh... that;s really sweet

A beautiful woman once told me I was on the cusp of losing my connection to humanity.

lol at specifying beautiful

no comments on the rest of Avery's letter to Ms. Hardy because I'm tearing up

If I can escape the chaos do you want to hang? We can hang out with Sir and chat art orrrr We could hang out and you can take your shirt off and I can draw you orrrrrrr We could hang out and we both take our shirts off and we can pretend we’re confused about who is supposed to be painting who before finding something else to do

smooth

I told Lucy and Avery and a woman called Miss to pass on a password for a gallery I sent you.  You’re my designated replacement if anything happens and that gallery has the big rundown.  Yep, you thought you were getting to know me?  That was all the tip of the iceberg, buddy.

I'm picturing Jeremy opening this, reading it, and realizing that a girl who was a pretty new friend in his life had no outside contact closer than him

On that note? I’m writing this under the assumption that they’re there. Avery Kelly and Lucy Ellingson. No other end result is okay in my books.

oh Verona

Care and Feeding of Lucy Ellingson and Avery Kelly: I liked the headline but because I wrote it I gotta let you know the feeding part: Lucy gets into stuff like pepperoni sticks and sour foods and things that make you go WOAH (except garlic and onions apparently) and it’s all intense and crap but when you get down to it I think she likes sweet and savory stuff most.  Avery is a vegetarian and she can eat next to anything you could call food, now, but I think what matters is that it comes from a place of care. She likes fruity flavors and mellow stuff. If Lucy’s down and out and needs nourishment to get back in the game then a chance to have a savory home cooked meal or a sweet treat she can spend a bit enjoying would do it for her.  For Avery, just the fact that you notice she’s down and out is important and then you can hand her a sports drink or something and she’ll be up for more.

aww, funny and cute that she's leaning into this bit, deeply touching that she knows this about them

[Tash is] about three years older than us she’s super cool enough I wouldn’t blame you for getting a crush on her. 😉

... yeah that's fair! Don't know how Jeremy would feel about the eyes, but I love that it's not a factor for Verona

If you bring me back as a composite echo and someone wants to take me as a familiar to help clarify me further then I’m down.

what the hell. I mean a good backup plan! But a hell of a lot of pressure to drop casually at the end of this letter

If not or if that’s weird then don’t sweat it.  Thanks for being a friend.

or don't resurrect me if you don't want! wild.

I got lucky because home was the place I could come back to to unload the small things, instead.  This was pretty close to perfect. Except I haven’t come home to unload this time, if you’re reading the letter.

yeah tearing up again

Zed has agreed he’ll fill you in if someone needs to.  He knows most of the story and it’s easier for him to answer your questions than for me to explain everything here.  Imagining you going through my stuff and uncovering it all with a terrible look on your face is making this too hard to write.

Interesting to me that Lucy is the only on who leaves information for her mom to take action, I guess because neither Verona or Avery feel that their parents are particularly useful

As a last ditch effort if the cops fail and Avery and Verona are gone you can contact a man I listed on the sheet. His name is Samaniego and he organizes people who hunt monsters like one of the ones I’m about to fight.

damn that's a nuclear option. But I suppose if all the girls are dead there's no point in playing fair or easy

I don’t want this to end without there being justice.  If I was capable of accepting any other answer then I think this might be the point I gave up.  I could let Edith win, I could choose the option where I didn’t risk me dying and you having to find this letter. I can’t.  I can’t let the people who would do that get what they want and take any more power or get any more influence.

Lucy... I love how much her principles come through in this. Avery may be the soft heart in the group and Lucy all business in her letter, but peel back the focus and drive and you get this moral determination

This can’t end without justice of some sort.

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow #otherverse

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 11.2

“How did you meet these two?” Verona’s mom asked. That put her on the spot.  “Group project.” “What kind of project?” Aaaaa.

big mood Avery, I am continually impressed with how many technically-true statements the other two manage

“Fake pork on a bagel?” Avery scrunched up her nose. “With tons of barbecue sauce and stuff, looks like,” Lucy added. “On a bagel?  I dunno.  Fake meat I’ve tried is maybe half mediocre, squint-and-you-could-interpret-it-as-meat stuff,” Avery said.  “And the other half was real sad.  My siblings looked at the turkey slice stuff and they went from making fun of the vegetarian stuff to feeling sorry for me.  And making fun of me a little, still.”

even leaving aside the fake meat aspect, I am deeply weirded out by the idea of a barbecue pork bagel sandwich. A bagel should have smoked salmon and cream cheese! You can add tomato/red onion/capers if you want, or I guess do something with eggs and/or salad. But not meat! Especially pork, that's just bizarre

“If it’s decent then you could come back and have it again,” Verona’s mom said. “I dunno, I don’t want to ruin a whole meal though.”

this is why I just always order the same thing at a restaurant once I've found something I like

“It’s a generation thing,” Verona said, still talking in a tone like she was laying sage wisdom down from above and having fun at the same time.  Verona was being very Verona and it felt a lot like Avery had felt when she was just getting into the flow of these two, after Miss had introduced them.

I think Verona is feeling very off-balance still, but also the sudden release of being away from her dad, and is being very outwardly herself to work through her emotions

“Lox and cream cheese with double helping of black olive and red onion, please, poppyseed.”

aside from the olives this is respectable

“I’m not into art as a career, though,” Verona said.  “And like, who even thinks about careers at thirteen?” “Me either, with sports,” Avery interjected.

that's probably good, those are two careers that are very hard to actually make a living off of

“It’s an advantage, if you can tackle a new project without feeling like you’re leaving behind the things you really want to do.  I get excited about any new venture, and I think I can sell people on that excitement and make things happen.”

have you considered becoming a startup CEO

“What have you done?” Verona asked them, mock-horrified, even though she looked like she was enjoying herself at the same time. [...] “What have you done?” Verona asked her mom and Lucy’s mom, exaggerated.  “Have you no mercy?”

ok, this is very stressful for Avery and coming at a bad time, but I'm also with Verona that it is very funny

(I am an only child)

“Just the one, I think,” Jasmine said.  “She works for the whole hospital, and doubles as IT, I think.” “That’s not nearly enough,” Connor said.  “One health information specialist?”

pour one out for that poor poor IT/information worker. That's not nearly enough, and you can bet they're being drafted into any project that needs a bit of code or analysis done

also ngl I would read more of the parents talking about healthcare data analysis, I wonder if wildbow has personal experience with it? I have a friend who does basically the job that Connor has, and it's not something people tend to think of when they think either "healthcare work" or "tech work", so it seems oddly specific

Avery focused on that, drew on the connection, and channeled it.  Snowdrop raised a paw, ‘thumb’ extended, then went back to sleep. She adopted the omnivore scavenger’s palate.

oh that's a neat benefit. I was going to say probably not useful for anything major, but actually it would be a live-saver in the Hungry Choir ritual, and I bet there are other practices that require eating something gross

“Avery!” Avery flinched like she’d been slapped in the back of her head. Her dad.

... that is a strong reaction. The lingering head injury, or his reaction to her coming out?

“Here,” he said.  He reached into his pocket and got his wallet.  He pressed a card into her hand.  Then he turned to the cashier.  “My daughter has my card, Connor Kelly.  She has my permission to use it.  That okay?”

this feels like guilt

“I really can’t think of much I need,” Avery said.  “Some shirts, maybe, shorts…” “Two hundred dollars?” Verona repeated. Avery shook her head, looking around.  “While Snowdrop is leveling up in- I don’t even know what to call it.  Intensity of fashion?  I feel like I should do something similar but I don’t know what.”

to echo a fandom desire from early-mid Ward: shopping trip!

time for a butch makeover montage

“This is what she does,” Verona said.  “Hey, while you’re doing that, Ave, buy your basics, I can think of some things to buy for Tashlit.  I have some money too.”

aww

“In ten hours, yeah,” Lucy said.  “And then I got stressed because I knew not sleeping before a day like today which might really matter…” “Yeah.  I get that.” “Made it even harder to sleep because I was stressed.”

that happens to my partner sometimes, it always sucks

“It did suck and it was lonely but I get it.  It’s cool.”

on the one hand Avery's right that Lucy was also going through it and this was understandable, but on the other I'm not thrilled how quickly she goes "This was bad for me but it's fine."

“I like the idea of sticking by one another, it’s just tricky sometimes.  People are… personality-wise I see us all as jagged, weirdly shaped things, and we try to mesh together as best as we can but sometimes…” “Yeah.” “The mesh isn’t perfect and we bounce off one another or something and that doesn’t at all mean I don’t care or I’m not in your corner.”

hedgehog dilemma

Avery shook her head.  “He smacked me in the back of the head near the brain stem and that can give you gnarly headaches that last for a whole month.  But when he said I could have the post-concussion thing, he was saying I could have mental difficutlies or problems for the rest of my life.  And that’s when, you know…  I was spooked.”

fucking christ that's terrifying no wonder you were spooked

“You know that you’re like… cool, right, Ave?” “I don’t, no.”

ouch

“I don’t mean sunglasses and slicked back hair cool, or snowboarder chick cool, or leather jackets type cool, I mean-”

she could be those if she wanted! maybe. actually no, sweet and earnest kind of gets in the way of most of those. but she could still get a leather jacket.

“These are your measurements for cool?  Sunglasses and slicked back hair?  What?” Avery asked, smiling.

... is Lucy's metric for cool just Zed

“Do we have to move on?  Because calling me cool is awkward but defining what you see as cool is fun.  Who’s a cool guy, Lucy?  One cool guy you know.” “I had a point I was getting to.” “First one off the top of your head.  Is it Zed?”

called it!

“What’s the commonality between those guys?  Tymon’s a bit laid back, especially when you put him with a bunch of these practitioners from uptight families, and George is sort of above it all.  Tymon’s from a big drug-spirit summoning family and George partakes…” “Not really the direction I was thinking.” “Very angular faces.  Sharp chins, defined cheekbones…”

lol

“Is this punishment?  For leaving you hanging while I moped?  Are you channeling Snowdrop’s chaotic spirit?”

what goes around comes around! otherverse runs on karma

“Oh, they both have longer hair.  Are you into longer hair?  I can understand that.” “The longer hair is a plus.”

fits with liking indie rock/pop I think? I don't know music. Or guys.

Wallace tended to lighten his hair and wear shirts with wild geometric or fractal patterns, prints, and/or colors.

oh that's neat, I love a good geometric pattern. I am now rooting for Wallace, sorry Tymon

At Tashlit’s instruction, such as it was, Lucy sat on the log by the fire and then rolled up her shirt as much as she could without being indecent

this is a very Avery this to notice and way of phrasing

It was gnarly.

no wait I take it back, this is Avery phrasing

3:00pm. “Of course.  I’ll help,” John said. Verona, Avery, and Lucy held papers, guaranteeing privacy.

oh, so they're doing the rounds of their allies. Tashlit, John... I wonder who else? Probably Alpeana, Crooked Rock might have put them in contact with the ghouls, maybe they'll talk to Guilherme and Toadswallow. I think this will go fine, my concern is that helping the girls arrest Edith is a good way for a secret conspirator to ward off suspicion

John nodded.  He took the little games that Verona had brought and set them aside, bending down briefly to slip them into his bag.  There was also a collection of darts Avery had grabbed on impulse.  No dartboard, that had been too expensive.  Just darts.  She figured John could improvise.  He seemed to like it.

cute that they're bringing gifts, and I do like it as part of this recruitment process. Too small to be a bribe, but a show of friendliness and respect. Reminds me of how ritualized gift-giving worked between allies and vassals in ye olden times

“Sorry,” John said, settling into a sitting position, moving his bag to be closer to his foot.  “If that’s too much.  All I mean is- be prepared for this to not go the way you need it to.  Even if it comes to you getting hurt, cornered, imprisoned, if you have plans or things set in motion, you don’t want to think ‘I should’ve’ in the moment before you have no options.  Be prepared.” “What does-” Lucy paused, swallowing.  “What sort of thing would we need to do to be prepared?”

gods this is sad to have to think of. Write letters for your families, for Zed and their other allies at the school? Put together a will for the various powerful items they have? I don't know if Avery would need to make arrangements for Snowdrop

Jessica had sent a picture of herself and her girlfriend in their house.  It looked small but it was packed with decorations, to the point that some stuff was sitting on the ground around the base of some of the tables next to a futon.  Avery was fond of the stone carvings and she’d asked, and Jessica had sent pictures of some.

good to see they're still in contact :)

“Avery! Sheridan, Kerry, Declan! Dinner!”

it has just now struck me 1) how deeply irish all these kids' names are (except, oddly enough, for Avery) and 2) what a deeply unfortunate name Kerry Kelly is

Kerry K.J. Kelly

oh gods and she has another K-name for a middle name. Poor kid.

Her dad addressed the table.  “This is going to be a brief but very important family discussion.  And I do mean discussion.  We need to talk about something serious.” Avery had already spent the day on high alert, and she didn’t miss the fact that her mom reached over to place a hand over Grumble’s.

well fuck, this is bad timing. With the attention on Grumble, is he moving to a nursing home?

“On the upside, there are ice cream bars for dessert,” her mom said.  “So let’s tough this out.”

so I have some bad news about that

“Rook is trusting us with information.  Our doppleganger and cancer stick are with the candle spirit,” Lucy told her.  “They were out there.”

aw, I was hoping Lis wasn't involved

“I’d do something else, I think.  I think of, I dunno.  A house without a floor.  Ropes and things.” Verona laughed.  “That’d be out there.” “Isn’t it?  Or a loft with enough open space on the second floor where you could have a big hammock or something stretched across, like they do in tiny houses.” “That’s neat.  I can see it.  Path-y.” “Yeah, with doors and windows out to Paths.  Maybe so you can peek through?”

this seems wildly inconvenient, but a neat visual. Might be hard to move around quickly though, which could get annoying for Avery

“My mom was talking about passions and not having any one particular passion for herself.  And that’s cool, but like, how do I decide on a place to call my place of power if I do something like that?  How do you define a space and make it cool if your approach to practice or to the world changes all the time?”

I mean I've only seen a few months of Verona's life, but art, magical knowledge, diagrams, things that are weird and gross and fleshy.

“I know this sounds awful, but… countermeasures for John?” Verona asked.

this sucks, and I don't think either John or Tashlit will be issues, but considering how worried I am about the real culprit remaining hidden through this conflict, or even aiding the girls, I'm glad that they have countermeasures prepared for everyone

The blackness behind her deepened.  The Sable Prince stepped out of the darkness behind her.  Trees rustled and leaves went still, branches creaking and bowing.

oh hello!

Avery could see Edith’s face, and she saw the moment that she recognized that the Sable Prince was there. All fight dropped away.  She let Matthew hold her shoulder. Surrender, just like that.  Which didn’t mean this was over.

... huh. Easier than I thought! Though of course the real challenge will be getting information from her

#booksandchainmail reads pale #wildbow #pale #otherverse #i am thinking of adding the otherverse tag to my liveblogs as I go #since my pace is now slow enough it doesnt feel like overcrowding

[booksandchainmail]

As I began thinking about making chainmail for Pale as I read it, my first thought was to do a piece representing all three girls together. The issue with this is that I don't know any chainmail patterns based around threefold symmetry, aside from just alternating colors along the length of some chain.

Then I thought of one of my favorite weaves, Inverted Spiral, which forms a double helix style spiral in two colors. Could this be extended to three?

Turns out it can! It isn't perfect: at the aspect ratio I work in it forms a rigid rod rather than a flexible chain, there's a bit too much strain on the rings, and it's slow to work on and difficult to start. But it looks cool, and shows the three representative colors spiraling together into one whole.

I've been making chainmail jewelry for around six years now, and this marks the first time I've created a new weave. So I'm pretty pleased that it turned out nicely.

Since I haven't found any examples of this pattern online, I think I can claim invention of it. I'll hopefully get around to putting it up on MAIL eventually. Because of my motivation for making it, I've decided to name it:

Kennet Trio

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow #otherverse #chainmail #maille #chain maille #chainmaille #chain mail #my chainmail

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 7.x

“I’m not really very drunk,” she told him, sitting down beside him, and laying a hand on his shoulder.  “I’m other things.  If you’re tapped out, you and I could retire upstairs.  Work out the leftover restlessness and adrenaline of the day.”

OKAY. DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. big win for people who ship their teachers I guess? Though I'm assuming from the "Before" header that this is a flashback

Larry Bristow laughed at something.

I could have been calling him Larry this whole time...

Here, in a bar, late at night, the group of them gathered, her slightly inebriated, tired self was akin to a tiger stretched out in a sunbeam. The claws so easily protruded as she stretched.

... hot

Luisa Crowe choked on her drink.

don't think we've heard of her before. Or of any family members.

Just a week or two off of her latest hunt, she was willing and wanting to track down this Blue Heron Throne god, while Alexander did the legwork to bring them all together.

So this is how the school got founded. It's so weird to see them all friendly and relaxed together

Thoughtful and lost in thought. He was hard to get to know, and much of that had to be done not by reaching out or studying him, but by studying what he offered and what he asked, when he finally decided what he could ask that might be a good question. Seeking validation and respect in the opposite way to how Larry did. Too subtle, instead of too forced.

keeping this in mind as an analysis of Charles. Strange to think of him socializing with this circle of other practitioners. Does he miss any of them?

Charles looked bewildered.  “I mean I’m not a threat, I’m willing to help but… I know how cutthroat practitioner society can be, and I imagine hollywood or any other high society is the same.  I’d rather keep my throat intact.”

didn't really work out for him huh

“Smart,” Alexander said.  “I don’t think I’d have it in me to hold back on revenge.”

:(

Luisa looked troubled, like she was going to say something, but she was interrupted.

think I understand why Luisa didn't stick around with this group

“There is no police force governing us.  We’re still, generally speaking, in a wild west of practice,” Alexander said.  “If you don’t act with prejudice, you’re setting precedent.”

I think setting a precedent of not using overwhelming lethal force is a good thing

“Charles,” Larry said.  “When we were mid-job, you mentioned these special Others.” “Others, bound by rules, get certain leeway. If they must ask questions or must do certain things, like a revenant having a very specific path laid out before it, that’s… in our analogy of a bank heist, it’s the drill. It’s more solid, it has more force.”

I wonder if this applies to any of the Kennet Others?

"Figurines were soaked into the muck. I want one, but failing that, I want it gone.”

I'm assuming that this will unbind a goddess Durocher draws on for power? Would that just weaken her, or would the goddess then be out for revenge?

The Kennet trio send friendly Others home. He waited, studying the photograph for details. The inscription was telling. The phrasing. Not unsummoning, not releasing. Just… sending them home.

wild practitioners!

Black ink bled into the photograph, taking on three dimensions in the scene. “Abandonment,” Alexander said. “A connection severed.”

what will this do? Just pick a random connection to sever? Most obvious would be to each other, but I think that would need more effort. The word "abandonment" makes me think about their families though, and I'm concerned that how much they've been using connection blockers might backfire

A few out in these woods, like Lucy Ellingson, who was going for a walk, now severed from critical connections. They wouldn’t renew.

which critical connections?! all of them? Connections this could potentially touch on: Avery and Verona, her family, Kennet Others, people at the school. The last two don't feel critical necessarily (annoying but the other two can help). I'm worried that this will just have people forget about her entirely, hopefully not everyone and not irreversibly.

“The first option is that you tell me everything I want to know, then die by your own hand.  The second option is that you Awaken fully to this world and swear undying fealty to me in the process.”

these are bad options

He jerked, and for a moment, saw only stars, heard only raucous noise.  His eyes rolled up and his head turned skyward.

umm

“Go home,” John Stiles told him.

why is john suddenly here??? I guess he wasn't mentioned when Alexander spied on the girls sending people home, so maybe he's doing a search of the woods first?

“Yeah.  I won’t say anything.  I could help with the body, and the crime scene.”

did John kill Alexander?! I thought the bits at the end of the last section (jerking, head dropping, kneeling) was Alexander preparing some practice, but did he just get shot?

... hilarious if so. What a way to go, in the middle of his dramatic scheming

“His head-” Lucy said.  “It’s gone.  Cracked open.” She sounded so much like a kid.

:(

Lucy is getting so much gun violence-related trauma

John walked, long, quick steps, until he stood between her and the body.  He put a hand out to steady her, to keep her from pulling away or moving to a point where she could keep looking.

and I'm glad he's looking out for her. Honestly, John becoming Lucy's familiar is looking like a better thing the more we see

“It protects Kennet,” she said.  She was still shaky, but she stepped back so she could meet John’s eyes.  “That’s my responsibility.”

I mean it's messed-up to have a kid taking on that level of responsibility, but I do love this

“I was thinking about him being my familiar.” John remained standing where he was. He wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear this, but… “…Not so much anymore.”

oh. Or that. I suppose the corollary to having John as her familiar would mean she wouldn't have to personally do violence is that a lot of problems would be getting solved violently in front of her

... I wonder if that was the connection that Alexander severed

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 11.1

“More than you’d think.  But it’s like… secrets in a small town type stuff.  Blood in the streets, a struggling defense against invaders.  Killings, gunmen, cannibalism, underage drinking…” “What shows are you watching?” “…But the cannibal types are on the side of the good guys, I think.  When they aren’t too hungry.” “Is this from a game?” “There’s not much game about it.  It’s deathly serious.  But it’s the kind of serious where you have to joke about it and play it off as non-serious to your mom, while she’s all confused, you know?” “I’m definitely confused.  I do like your imagination though.  I wish I could keep up with it.”

Verona really does just tell her parents what's going on, secure in the knowledge that they won't follow up about it. I mean sure, I don't blame Verona's mom for not realizing everything Verona said has happened, but I think saying "There's something dangerous and serious in a way where I have to joke like it's a game to you." should raise some questions

Verona said, deciding it was best not to push things too far, fun as it was. As important as it was to leave a trail of breadcrumbs in case something bad happened.

oh. Well that's grim, but probably a good idea. Though if the girls die suddenly and violently, I think having had a trail of clues indicating that this was an ongoing problem parents didn't notice might make it worse.

“Mom.  Did you pay him?  Or threaten him?  It matters if I’m eventually going back there.  I want to know what’s going on.”

incredibly depressing to be able to put an exact financial value on how much your presence is worth to your father

“No.  No, not bad.  I hope not, anyway.  It seemed easy and streamlined, me leaving you with your dad while I got set up, and then with how bitter you were, and distance?  It felt easier to not force things.”

Verona also often takes an easy route in daily life, but not about things that matter to her. Which means either she's unlike her mother in that, or it implies some bad things about how important Verona is to her mother.

“High school daughters,” Lucy countered.

congratulations!

“Feels shitty.  It’s like, I’ve got this impulse to, I dunno, do stuff.  Like, picking up a broom and sweeping and doing laundry and helping out and-”

I get this when I visit people, and that's under normal circumstance

She drew the symbols necessary and then arranged the papers around the room.  She pressed two against the big window at one side of Lucy’s room. It would obscure any vision of spying eyes and confuse any listening ears. “We good?” Lucy asked. She gave Lucy a nod.

huh, was the disagreement a smokescreen? IIRC they've don that before

She set the pieces of her mask aside, sorted out books, put pens and markers into her left pants pocket, ground up glamour from the flower Guilherme had given her in her right pants pocket with three folded up bits of paper with feathers sticking up out of them, ready to quickly deploy transformations.  Back right pants pocket held a stack of spell cards.

petition to get Verona some cargo pants

Avery wore running shorts and an athletic tee with a pocket, which seemed like an oxymoron when it came to the shirt’s purpose.

does anyone ever use breast pockets on shirts?

Shadows deepened, then the light shone through, as if a cloud had passed over the moon and then let it shine brighter immediately after.  What looked like dense trees and a patch of nature at the corner of this area was opened up like an optical illusion had revealed itself, showing the narrow one-lane street that extended into the trees, and the tall, not-especially-taken-care-of house tucked into the trees.  The skeleton of a for-sale sign was set into the lawn, the top portion with the realtor’s face worn by weather, the lower half that hung from the horizontal part of the post had fallen off and was mostly covered in weeds and tall grass. “City magic is so badass,” Avery said.

Agreed

Possible Demesne for Verona?

“They’re definitely more active, and more sloppy,” Lucy said.  “Edith especially.  But it doesn’t feel scared.”

and getting the cube back wasn't brought up in Edith and Maricica's conversation

Lucy shook her head.  “Which takes us back full circle to the big fat question of why they aren’t freaking out.  And I have this sick little feeling in my stomach that makes no sense, but… what if we have it wrong?”

goddammit. My theories!

“But none of them know for absolute sure who did it, I don’t think,” Lucy replied.  “And this sick feeling in my gut is… what if it’s our soldier friend?  What if we have it wrong and he would get both coup and claim?” “Hasn’t he said he doesn’t want it?” Verona asked.  “But he’ll take it anyway?” “Could be he doesn’t want it but he needs it?” Lucy asked.  “What if our soldier friend isn’t a friend but a major culprit, we screwed up when interviewing him or jumped to conclusions, and the furs are… I dunno.  Secondary?”

huh. I don't think so. I hope not! I don't John was involved with making the Choir out of Yalda, he seemed surprised to find out about that. I suppose he could have been recruited later? But that seems shaky. Maybe becoming the Carmine Judge would let him help Yalda, but I don't see how.

“E was making clothes, right?” Avery asked.

I missed that, can you check the measurements?

“This isn’t going to be one of those situations where we get to gather the information and do a big badass whodunnit moment, huh?” Verona asked.

:(

“When I went to check in with the Judges, I asked if they could give us any kind of protection,” Avery said.  “They kind of said no.  Uhh, as I remember it, the protection we get for taking care of Kennet is what we get, karmically speaking.  We make our own karma.” “I’m finding myself struggling to realize what the point of them is,” Lucy said.

lol. But also yes. Maybe their role is more as arbiters than as criminal judges? Settling property disputes, overseeing contracts, offering a neutral enforcing party for negotiations

“I think they handle the stuff that’s really broken,” Verona said.  “There wasn’t anything super relevant in the books, but there were figures that seemed judge-like who would set quests and point the right people in the right ways to handle anything that was really bad.  In other places you get Lords and committees deciding what needs handling.  The Others who are threatening the seal of Solomon, monsters too big for any one person to defeat, breaches between worlds, stuff.”

or that! Scary to think this doesn't rise to their attention

“That’s the exact kind of moment you should be super cool and confident.  Unflappable, badass Avery,” Verona told her, grinning.

I would like to think that being very flappable and earnest can also work.

“Three times we were wronged,” Verona mused aloud, “That deserves righting.  We can ask for the judges to hand us the ability to right the wrong.  If they can control how karma happens, then let that karma be protection during and immediately after the arrest.  Access to any power that might be held back from us as we try to put it into effect. We need answers from her so we’re not asking for her to be forsworn.”

So like I was saying, arbiters of fairness not of criminal cases

“She was hurting, she was alone, she tried to reach out, and I was busy feeling sorry for myself.  Hurt, Booker gone, having to leave out information for my mom, mostly staying in my room, trying to think of a good way through this whole situation, you know?”

Oof yeah, and Avery gets hurt more by feeling left out, while Lucy reacts strongly to feeling like she has to manage things for other people

“Yeah,” Lucy said, one side of her mouth pulling back hard, disappointed, upset.  “I was scared.” That disappointment and upset gave way to something else, fleeting, deeper, vulnerable.  Lucy looked away a moment later.

and she almost died! And didn't have anyone on hand to talk about it with, and I'm guessing she didn't want to admit to Avery how scared she was

“Really, really close.  And then I was scared too, of what if being in close contact with a ghoul infected me.  Close calls with death, right?”

gods that sounds terrifying.

“I wanted to ask someone for clarification on that but didn’t know who to trust, and didn’t really trust anyone, for a little bit there, and I didn’t even want to go outside.”

And to extend Lucy's fox symbolism, this reminds me of the thing that some wild animals do when injured/sick, of holing up alone and just waiting to see if they die. (Note: I do not know if this applies specifically to foxes). This is mostly not a useful behavior for humans, but man if the urge to just cut down on contact and be terrified and emotional in private isn't relatable (thinking back to Lucy not wanting her mother to see her cry)

“Talk to me?  Send me a frigging mail?  You say you didn’t know who to reach out and talk to?  Me!  Me me me me or Avery or your mom or me!  I can frigging take it, Luce!”

yeah!

“We are cosmically frigging bound together, you jerk!"

I like this line. More frustrated expressions of endless affection please

Worst of both worlds when I can tell something’s wrong and you won’t let me help!

yeah :(

“Avery needs something like this too,” Lucy said.  “The big intense hug.  It’s harder to figure out.”

I'm not sure if the pre-hug scuffling would work on Avery or not

“Okay.  Why don’t we call Avery’s parents and see about her coming over?  Be ready for them to say it’s too late.”

sleepover!

Verona pointed toward the window.  Avery turned, looking, and Verona lunged, rising up out of the bed, and hauled her down, backwards, onto the bed.  Avery lay there, barely on the edge of the bed, Verona holding her from behind, feet still on the ground.  After about ten seconds she tried to get her feet up onto the bed, failed twice, and succeeded on the third try.  They shuffled over so Avery wasn’t constantly on the verge of falling off the bed.

:)

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 10.1

The wrought-iron building around the landing, on this end of the concourse, the tiled floor, in white, yellow, black, and red, each tile about three feet across by three feet across.

same humors color coding as the judges!

“Is there any way around binding her?” Avery asked Tymon.  “The whole point is to give something up and lock us in as partners, but the books outline it as dependent on getting the seal applied.”

would binding Snowdrop to the Seal of Solomon get rid of her reversed talk thing? That might make it worth it, since it seems it really bothers her.

“But it’s important to me because the seal is… the Others I trust and the Practitioners I don’t trust have convinced me that whatever it used to be, it’s evolved to something that’s, hmm… it’s in bad faith, I suppose?  Or used in bad faith.  Snowdrop’s included among the group of Others and if I bound her I think that would change how some of them look at me.”

and conversely not doing it is a great sign of good faith

Verona was an improviser, to a scary degree.  Avery did admire that. And Lucy was very aware of… of the present.  She was present, Avery thought, hyperaware of the words people were using and the details in the situation and stuff. Avery had often felt like she had to turn her brain off for her best performance. Eye on the goal, trusting her skates or her soccer cleats to help her get to that goal, mind disassociating from the everyday to get into the rules of the game, of position and movement and where her team was.

which contributes to Avery undervaluing herself, since she isn't conscious of making the decisions she does

“I feel like if I start having to use the seal regularly, that’s a problem.  That’s not the direction I want to go.  I’d rather…”

it closes off options to commit to not using the seal, but I think that's the only way to keep to that principle? If using the seal is an option and comes with no practice-related downsides, it will always be a possibility to resort to. Making part of her practice contingent on not using the seal locks in this principle as something Avery can't (easily) compromise.

Hat on a string at her neck, mask at her side. She took the horn and poised it at her brow, and it stayed there, where it would be if she had the mask on and it was still a part of the mask.

I like this phantom antler thing Avery has

Snowdrop grinned, framed by a backdrop of Lost, wide enough that Avery could see that she still had missing teeth.

nice that this crowd of Lost showed up, giving Snowdrop more support to match the practitioners Avery asked to attend

“By old rules, I invite you deeper into my world.  I’ve been greedy, Snow, we took you from the forest, I seriously thought I might sacrifice you, and I made you a tool to help me on the Trail.  You did everything you were supposed to and more, you saved me, you won me over, and even if the Trail was a nightmare that I still haven’t completely gotten over, it gave me you.  I wanted to do this here, in a place that’s closer to your nature as a Lost, because we spend so much time in my world.  When we go back, let this ritual help you be welcomed and embraced by that world, by humanity, and by any demesne I establish.” “I don’t want it and I don’t accept. I want you and the spirits to hear me, I’m neither Lost, from Spirit, or from Nature. I’m all of those things and none and you’re not welcome to any of it. You and me are different in this, and I think that’s important, Avery. You’re not meant to straddle worlds like me. You’re meant to stay put and I’m going to make you stay put.” Avery’s hand tightened, gripping Snowdrop’s. “I accept any and all help that you’re willing to give me. I accept any and all shelter and support you provide.”

I LOVE OATHS LIKE THIS SO MUCH.

Particularly the thing you get mostly with fealty oaths, about granting a place in your home. And here it's both Avery's potential future demesne and all the world of humanity...

And I like that between these two, there is no limits or requirements for what Snowdrop provides.

“We hear you, Lance.  Come on over.”  The reply came through the walkie-talkie, and ended with a double buzz.

not "Come on. Over." ?

“I was thinking long knight’s move.  Three forward, one over, or vice versa.”

fits her! both the "knight" concept and the movement, bold advance with a flanking element

“I’ll give you sustenance.  Including strawberry milk, and I’ll give you strength and lifespan as part of that.  My lifespan is your lifespan, if and when it helps.”

oh nice! we're cutting between the Familiar ritual and the Path adventure, I thought the ritual seemed a bit short

also, I think "my lifespan is your lifespan" is probably the kind of statement most practitioners try to avoid

“I give you my ability to lie, Avery, out of hopes it screws you up real bad and ruins your practice forever.  You get nothing else from me you’d want, in protections and special rules.”

holy shit. Lying! That's major for a practitioner. Avery could make great use of that, especially if she keeps it quiet and uses Oni-style tactics.

On John’s shoulder, Cherrypop leaned over to a Lost and did a really bad job of whispering, “I think Snowdrop’s winning.”

ranked competitive familiar ritual

“No,” Jude said.  “With most things out on the Paths, if there’s a rule tied to something you can manage with one of the five senses, it’s rarely going to lie.” “When I walked the Trail, one of the objects was buried in the paint, the cat skull was barely visible under an Other’s skin, and the coin was under a layer of dirt.” “Where the heck was your starting point? A murder room?”

Snowdrop's influence on the Trail? Good to know it was harder than anticipated though, that makes the Forest Ribbon Trail a lot more reasonable as a starting Path.

“The antler?  I guess my broken antler was staying up when it should fall down.” “Could be a Lost thing. Entangling what you had with you back then with you. It might be worth looking at the clothes you wore back then.”

and here I was thinking it was just a narrative resonance thing. Guess I've spent too much time thinking in terms of PGTE

Snowdrop nodded.  “And I’m going to ruin your life and I never want to see you set up a family.  I’ll be the treasure to your trash, the day to your night, and the cool flourishes to your out-of-nowhere biteyness.”

biteyness!

“Then I bind myself to my word,” Avery said.  She took the broken horn from over her head and pressed it to Snowdrop’s collarbone.  “To what I’ve sworn to you, to intent.  We forego the direct use of the Seal of Solomon, but we keep its intent.  You were bound once, symbolically and literally, and that’s enough.  I trust you.” “I’m calling this off, I don’t accept, I can’t trust you,” Snowdrop said. She pulled off an earring. She reached over to Avery’s friendship bracelet and stuck the length of the earring through the braided fabric. “I swear nothing.” To Avery’s Sight, the mist rolled, and she could see the tether of the connection between them, extending along her arm, with friendship bracelet with the dangling opossum charm. It worked around the black rope. Silver ran through the fabric of the bracelet, and copper-tinted light through the antler.

<3 <3 <3

... I wonder if I could get some opossum charms... the site I looked at didn't have any but there must be some out there

“We must each give you some rules to follow, however.”

Interesting, are these rules just being imposed on Avery as penalty for jumping on their table, or are they telling her about conditions of the Path?

It wasn’t that there weren’t any moves.  It was that there weren’t any good ones.  Stalling one and moving into a space it would otherwise take still meant she was in close proximity to a bunch of Others.

just like chess!

Not Miss.  No, she didn’t expect to see Miss, especially when Miss had been unable to answer the call.  But when they’d seen Miss on the bridge of light beams, there had been another Other there.  A ballerina in a blue tutu, head turned away.

oh hey, went back to look at Miss's interlude, and as well as the ballerina there was also the dog on a ball and schoolkids on their way to Earthly Oak Avenue

“She’s kind of an Other with more confirmed Finder kills than the you-know-what, according to our records.”

welp. Miss keeps nice company? Though honestly, remembering how the Finder Miss encountered treated her... this might be justified

The ballerina brought her hands to her face, where Avery couldn’t really see through her head to make it out.  Avery almost went with Snowdrop Sight to see around the sides of the tightly bunned-up brown hair, but the Ballerina turned her face skyward, hands cupped. There was no sound, but it was pretty clear what she meant.

????

actually, looking at the lines below:

But it was unnecessary, because the schoolkids behind Avery were howling, now, voices overlapping. They didn’t name it, but it was clear they knew, too. “Is she here?” Avery asked.

the Wolf?

“I take issue with that,” Snowdrop said.  She gripped the rope, slid her hand down to the part of it that was insubstantial, and then pulled, twice. Nothing happened.

fuck.

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 3.z

this security shell is weird. cool! but weird and terrifying. It also feels like a great way to lose apprentices who aren't quite up to being technomancers

Looks like they're pulling out the big guns, if teachers are getting involved. And I guess this means nicolette got herself away from the wolf and is ok

Black tee, black leather jacket, jeans, hair slicked back in a very different way than Ray had. Some might have said it was a 50s style, but it was timeless, as far as Zed was concerned

fair enough

Nice to use this interlude to meet some people from the school, instead of being dumped in with all new characters later on. Looks like two from Belanger, two from Durocher, one from Ray, and one independent?

She was killed, and the way Black Dogs work, they punish the people that kill them with curses. Most of the time they come back again and again. She was put down for good. The curse was a big one, it was stored away, and it manifested as the Hungry Choir ritual.

hey! this was one of my theories. Or technically two, if you count the curse as part of her corpse being used. Which means the question is who manufactured this, and why?

“I’m looking forward to summer school for once.”  Nicolette smiled as she said it. “Me too,” Zed agreed. “New crop of students.” “Exactly.” They were on the same page. Similar oaths. Similar awareness.

this feels somewhat ominous

“By the accords of Solomon!” Zed called out.  “By the order of man, I summon you to audience!  Obey or cede this territory!  Black Dog Yalda, come!” “I ask a second time! Black Dog Yalda! Casualty of war and child of Famine! Come!” “For the third time, with your worth and power at stake! Black Dog Yalda!”

one of the neat things about the otherverse is that do a certain degree the magic runs on rule of cool

There was a way to challenge the ritual, and tonight, with the malice biasing the challenge, would be a great time to do that… except there was a rub. A trick. Rad Ray Sunshine had explained it at one of the rest stops. It was easy for a ritual like this to jam some hidden trick or secret into things. A magic word, a hidden verse, or a secret a way to make the animals behave. Like… playing music. Or something. Not that Zed had his.

oof. well now I'm glad they didn't try that. who gave the Kennet Trio that advice again? Looked it up and: it was Maricica. Was that one of her traps? I think at one point they guessed that some of her "minor" traps might be deadly things that she would save them from.

They couldn’t get in between her and her prize.  The very being of the Devouring Song was tied into that.  She couldn’t be obstructed from eating.  Hurting her mid-meal did that, so the nibbling on the licorice from that king-size bag served to protect her.  Any lasting harm or death was similar, because she couldn’t be kept from future meals.

this fucks. using the choir against itself

Brie’s weight pressed the Black Dog down.  She kept eating.

gods this is fucked up

“Are you the murder weapon, used by others to kill the Carmine Beast?”

damn. ... I don't think I ever theorized about method

“Yes,” Yalda said.  “I killed the red wolf.”

mystery solved! story over

It was one of the eight original ritual participants.  The kid with the mask.  He carried a gun.

what happened to no weapons?

Yalda :( The Choir was fucked up, but I can't help but feel bad for her, it doesn't seem like she ever had many options. At least she got to pass on a final message to John? I hope she was at peace.

He did have his worries, though.  The degree of intent behind the Carmine Beast event… the premeditation, the covering of tracks, and the creation of something like this, implied to be done well in advance for that specific purpose?

so this plan had to have been in the works for at least nine years... that changes my thoughts on motives

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 10.4

oooh, I wasn't sure we'd get a Verona chapter this arc

“Can’t show you this one, Tash.” Tashlit, lounging on a beach towel, reached toward her waist and gestured. “No, this one isn’t rude."

I like the unstated "gesture"

Tashlit held up a finger.  One.  Then the ‘what?’ gesture. “The first most recent email is a reminder from Ding Phones that my prepaid phone account is almost out of funds, please visit the site to top up.”

I'm reminded of a great bit from Bloom Into You where the protagonist is eagerly awaiting a response from love interest, and when her phone pings it's an automated version update notification

“My mom tried to give me the dumbed down explanations but it felt a lot like I was in the way.  So I gave the excuse I had to get stuff sorted out.  And then we left a couple days after and we stopped in for a visit with her artist friend and I think that was meant for me.  Like, she thought I would be receptive and I’d get it and stuff, and it was cool to see the guy’s studio and stuff but like, I’m here and that guy’s alllll the way over there.”

I got to avoid this as a kid: if the people coming over for dinner were family friends who would want to talk with me I would stay, if not I could eat early and then just hang out elsewhere instead of having to stay at the table while conversations went over my head.

“Oh.  Disappointed, but not disappointed in me.  Maybe.”

disappointed in her own parenting skills?

Verona grabbed her book, flipped back a few pages, and found the image she’d drawn after Tashlit had insisted she would take every art critique seriously.  It was rude: a crude and rude drawing of a guy hugging a two-foot-wide boner that came up to the top of his head.

well if all else fails you have a career path on furry twitter

Jeremy replied.  I don’t know how to respond except pic just made my week.  Have some pics of Sir.

oh big mood, I also start messages with "I don't know how to respond" or something similar. If I wait to try and find words for a good response I just never send it.

“Is my dad going to jail?” The words left her lips before she realized she’d asked. “Is that another priority, Verona? That your dad be punished?” It was subtle. The tone a little cooler than before, less warm. Oh. She’d fucked it. She’d thoroughly fucked it, hadn’t she? Because now the idea was in David’s head. That she’d had an argument with her dad and things had gone wrong and now she was a manipulator or she was trying to get back at him and he was a tool for her to do that.

I can't tell if the child protective services guy is geniunely disapproving, or if Verona is panicking and reading too much into it. Because tone cooling here could mean a lot of things (ie David worrying that things were worse than he thought). If it is that says bad things about him! Honestly my first thought in this scenario (especially Verona was talking about not wanting to move) would be that she was scared of hr life getting completely disrupted by her dad getting arrested.

It's also sad that Verona's first thought on getting a (possibly) negative reaction to a genuine emotion is worrying that it makes her look manipulative or petty, because that is 100% what her dad has been telling her

The way he looked off to one side here and there made her wonder if he felt like his time was being wasted, now.  Or misused.  He kept taking notes when there wasn’t anything to take notes on.

I think "kid in a protective meeting visibly panics when told their parent won't be arrested" is something to take notes on!

“Sits in bed and sobs and tells me everything I’m doing wrong and everything he’s doing wrong and stuff about my mom.” “Okay. How often is that?” “Two to six nights a week, except when I’m away, or like, not nights but in the kitchen after he gets home from work, he’ll start telling me I didn’t mow the lawn or whatever and then it gets into how much his coworkers suck.”

... that is more often than I thought it was. Six nights a week at max, gods.

“Exacerbated by life circumstances?” he asked.  He started to take a note. “Not- no,” she said. She watched him continue to take the note, ignoring the ‘no’. She could imagine that penned down ‘life circumstances’ taking all the heat out of what she was saying.

I cannot tell if Verona is reading this accurately and this guy is going to be useless or not. Leaning towards not because I want to be optimistic.

“The third was- we went shopping and I got on his case, called him a bad dad and stuff. I pushed his buttons on purpose, because I could. And he freaked and stopped the car in the middle lane of a three lane road and made me get out. Cars were honking their horns and passing on the left and right. And I had icecream I’d bought for myself I was too full to eat and it melted while I walked home. I guess that doesn’t count when I think about it.”

I MEAN YOU'RE RIGHT THAT ISN'T TECHNICALLY BREAKING YOUR THINGS BUT IT IS IN FACT MORE WORRYING FOR DIFFERENT REASONS

“When was this?” “Christmas.”

winter in Canada? Admittedly I don't know that much about the weather but that seems hazardous

How could she even put it into words?  It was pressure and pressure over years.  It was telling her dad about her problems and it never mattering because he always one-upped her, and that added up little by little.

fascinated to see what people have done for Worm-style powers for Verona based on this as a trigger event

“Are you and your dad close?” “No. I think he wants us to be.” “How does he want you to be close?” “Hanging out, watching movies. He’d rather I didn’t see my friends and instead went with him. I think he’s lonely.”

I normally think of this as a red flag in romantic relationships, but it's even more one in a familial relationship

It felt like every time he was making notes, he was taking down the statements or arguments she felt were weakest and most unimportant.  Or stuff that made her dad seem more okay than he was. Dad’s lonely, wants to bond with shitty daughter.

I really don't think that's why he's taking a note of it!

And also wow does Verona place the blame on herself all the time. No wonder she has self-esteem issues as part of the Kennet Trio, if this is how her dad has taught her to think of herself

…She wasn’t even sure what she wanted.  She wanted to land this entire thing in the zone where she left her dad’s and went to Jas’s.  That was the perfect outcome.  It’s bad, gotta take this girl out of there, it’s crushing her and making her feel small and broken.  So we pick her up and take her… no, that’s too far.  Where’s a place we can put her that’s out of the house but not that super far away… Jas’s house!

yesyesyesyesyes. The guy mentioned temporary custody earlier, could that be this?

And even if it wasn’t impossible she couldn’t burden Jas like that, especially if Jas had a job she wanted and no time or money.

this has also been my concern with what is otherwise the perfect solution. Would the government provide a stipend for caring for Verona? It's not like she takes a lot of maintenance time-wise

“Almost died?  Tell me about that.” “At this thing I went to at the start of summer. I don’t want to get into it, it…

I think that's the kind of thing he has to follow up on, actually. Verona's dad not wanting more info on this was a red flag, and I don't think Verona recognizes how weird that was

I mean, she can probably pass it off as like an outdoors accident at summer camp (storm while hiking, bridge broke, etc etc) but she should have to at least come up with a story!

“Right now we’re in a middle stage, deciding what the immediate needs are.  It doesn’t sound like you need to be removed from the home, and it doesn’t sound like you want to be removed from the home.”

:(

“I want to leave that house.  I don’t want to go back,” Verona said.  “But can’t I go to Jasmine’s, instead?  Can’t- isn’t there a way to-” Breath hitched.  She was aware her mom was sitting next to her.  “Can’t we- you guys give money to foster parents, right?  So couldn’t I go there, and couldn’t, um, you could give her money and I wouldn’t be a burden, and she’s a really good mom to Lucy and she’s lovely.”

the degree to which Verona is breaking down in this conversation is distressing

Verona didn’t know what to say when what she’d already said and how she’d reacted had probably hurt her mom, and her mom didn’t say anything.

eh, deserved

“Is it possible?  To give Verona what she wants?  I don’t imagine the money from the system going to her would be possible, like she suggested, but if we could divert child support, maybe?”

surprising W from Verona's mom! I mean, it means she doesn't have to change her life at all to accommodate her own child, so low bar, but this is also what Verona wants

“We’d be looking at… the schedule’s tight.  This looks like, hm, three at-home visits over three months.  During those visits, I or someone else with access to the file would be checking in to make sure that all course participation is maintained, that the house is safe.  I would check in with Verona.” “Only three visits?  She’s so upset right now.” “Resources are stretched thin.” “You’re sending her back to that house?”

well fuck.

Lowering my estimation of CAS right back down.

Guess it's time to see if we can get Verona set up with a Demesne she can live in?

“I finished talking with David Williams.  Then I called Jasmine, and I called your dad, and I called Jasmine again.” Verona looked up. “She’ll take you until the end of summer. Your dad agreed to it.”

oh fuck yes

And one way or another, by the end of summer things will be different

She was going to Jasmine’s.  What came after could be saved for after. The headache was gradually easing.

:)

“So he gave my mom a preliminary plan of three visits from CAS over three months, right?” Verona told Tashlit. Nod. “And that’s now going to be twelve over six.” Double nod. “And originally, anger management classes and parenting classes.  Now it’s anger management classes and parenting and therapy.”

on the one hand, bleak that it took the drawing to get this boosted. On the other, good that this is happening, and specifically that when Verona felt she couldn't get meaning across in words, she was able to use her art to communicate

“I hate that we go off and do our own things and we don’t cross paths. And it is entirely my fault as the mom that I let it happen. A part of me hoped my situation would change or we’d grow into new interests that did have those overlaps… I did with my mom. It took until I was seventeen or eighteen before I could talk to her, adult to adult. But I screwed up.”

Yeah you did! I mean I also didn't have a lot of shared interests with my mother as a teenager, and I still tease her about saying "You know, I actually like you as a person" when I was ~22 (liking the person I was as an independent adult, as opposed to just loving me as her daughter) (english is my mother's fourth language so phrasing is sometimes off). But she still did her best to understand my interests, and was always engaged in my life. Adult to adult is not the only way to have a strong relationship with your child!

“Call.  Anytime, any reason.  I would move heaven or earth for you.” “But you wouldn’t move,” Verona said

ouch

“Want to turn in earl-” her mom said, at the same time Verona said, “Want to look at my art?” “I would love to,” her mom replied.

baby steps :)

“Boyfriend material?” “Blegh. No. Not what I’m after.” “A boyfriend? Are you-?” “Nope. No, I wish. It’d be nice. No, it’s not the boyfriend part of that.  It’s the material part of that.  I’m immaterial.  Maybe I’ll get there, maybe I won’t, but not right now.  Lucy and Avery keep saying stuff like ‘uh oh’, poor Jeremy.” “That doesn’t sound friendly.” “It’s sorta accurate.  Because we’re hanging out and he likes me and I don’t like anyone like that, so…”

aro Verona rights

A figure stepped out of darkness, and it wasn’t the local Others come to check in with her or welcome her to the area.

UHM?

“You tell me.  Look what I found, or well, look who found me while I was out there!” At that cue, Miss stepped out from behind the power pole. Wind picked up and dust from the roadside hid her face.

oh fuck yes

“A good one,” Miss said, walking past the girls.  She walked up to Rook, and the two of them hugged.  “Hello, it’s been some time.”

huh! Didn't see that coming, but potentially very useful if they have Miss bridging the gap between them and Crooked Rook

“I asked Rook to make sure you three were more or less alright until I could find my way back.  She has, I hope.” “She said she didn’t want to associate with us.” “Maintaining that position let Matthew, Edith, and the rest draw their own conclusions about my intents and goals,” Rook said. “And it helps keep this secret right here.”

clever clever clever! This completly changes the balance of power in Kennet. Miss back, Crooked Rook as an ally, by extension Nibble and Chloe...

“Rook,” Miss said, sounding more than a little upset.  She turned her head Rook’s way, and Rook adjusted the position of the mask perfectly, in accordance with that.

this is cute

“As long as Montague could seize control of the diagram at any time, on Matthew and Edith’s request… Miss can’t come into Kennet.”

good counter for Miss, but I think Montague might be recruitable? something to work on

“I’m thinking back to a few nights ago.  At the factory.  Edith pretty much sent Chloe right at us.  She was aggressive with the furs, she’s been testing the rules.  What if we dealt with her, like, right away?” “Let’s,” Rook answered.

OwO

#pale #booksandchainmail reads pale #wildbow