#brain empty just stolitz

[aarafox]

kinda meant a lot to me that he said this lol, after they made fun of him and Stolas back at Ozzie's

#helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss ep 7 #blitz #stolitz #now it's your turn blitz go get your man!! #i wonder if these two being together will actively change things for him and stolas bc #if a sin can date an imp why can't a prince date an imp? #ah well i hope we'll see more of them in the next ep lol #brain empty just stolitz

[stylexrepp]

Stolitz // The Next Full Moon -

(I did not proof read so if you see any grammatical errors… you didn’t)

*After Stolas had given Blitzø the Asmodean Crystal, Blitzø had shouted at stolas for being a selfish entitled rich prick, this was his way of still trying to hide his feelings and make Stolas hate him before he could say something he would regret in a time like this. While the berating tookplace, Stolas just stood there and took the backlash. He would rather Blitzø be happy and hate Stolas than have him unhappy.*

———

Stolas sat in his bath filled with his tears and lukewarm water. After their arrangement had ended Stolas had done nothing more than cry, work, and sleep, leaving no time for himself. Only staying awake to wrap his head in paperwork and try his best to keep up with Octavia, making sure she is happy.

*CRASH*

Stolas jumped up from the tub and ran to see what happened, ignoring the fact he is fully exposed and his robe was laid perfectly where he left it out for after his bath.

As he dashed into his bedroom he sees Blitzø tripping into his quarters.

“You STupID AsS bIrD BrAIn!! You tHiNk yOU Can JUst diTcH me lIKe tRAsh!!!” Blitzø slurred

Stolas stood in disbelief, “Blitzø what on earth could you possibly be talking about! You are way to tired to be talking about this right now, please come lay down darling.” As he approached Blitzø he could hear his heart rate increase.

“IM NOT DOING SHIT FOR YOU!!” Blitzø screeched

“Blitzø ple—“

“YOU SHUT YOUR MANGEY BEAK FOR THREE FUCKING SECONDS, AND LISTEN HERE. I AM HERE TO GET MY MONTHLY FUCK AND PISS OFF LIKE USUAL. SO DON’T TRY AND PUSH ME OUT LIKE LAST TIME OKAY!!”

“Push you out! Blitzø I gave you the choice and you walked away, you think I’d ever just use you for pleasure?” Stolas’s bottom eyes began to tear up

“Oh PLEASE you never wanted me for anything more than my dick! Let’s just get this dicking over with, come on!!!” Blitzø started shuffling towards him and placed his hands on Stolas’s hips. Stolas flinched away from the touch. “Fuck ‘s that all about huh?”

“Blitzø do you not remember a month ago when I poured my heart out to you! I gave you my all and I was completely and utterly vulnerable with all my feelings for you. Did you just forget all of that, all that I said when I laid my heart out for you on a silver platter!!” Stolas was basically sobbing at this point. He began to walk back into his bathroom hoping Blitzø would not follow him but Stolas was wrong. Blitzø followed along directly behind him staring as his feathered ass. “Stols come on, I know you want this ‘thick red dick’ so stop it with your innocent prude act. Just get your bird cunt over here!!” Stolas refused to listen and closed the door on him.

“STOLAS YOU CAN TRY TO LOCK ME OUT BUT WE BOTH KNOW ILL FIND A WAY IN” Blitzø shouted from outside the door.

“Blitzø if you are just here to continue our outlandish arrangement I-I won’t have it! Just leave if that’s all you are here for my dear.” Stolas begged at the foot of the door. As his tears fell he started to wheeze as he waited to hear Blitzø’s footsteps walk away.

Blitzø didn’t even think twice before yelling back, “There you go again being a spoiled fucking brat thinking you can tell me what the hell to do. Well, guess what bitch? I'm done being your ‘impish plaything’. From now on, I'm going to treat you like the worthless, empty piece of shit prince that you truly are. You don't deserve my time, or my energy, You are nothing but a sex toy for me to use and discard, just like you did to me. So enjoy your lonely ass existence, because I’m done letting you decide what the fuck I do with my dick!”

Stolas didn’t even respond. He sat there in a pool of his own tears soaking up every word blitzø said. Stolas had always blamed himself for everything no matter what happened. But hearing someone that he truly loved tell him he was to blame put everything into perspective for him.

Stolas walked over to his vanity and looked himself in the eye and all he could see was a monster. All of a sudden full of rage Stolas punched the mirror causing it to shatter, tearing up his hand now covered in black blood and glass shards. As Stolas began to drop to his knees Blitzø busted open the door to see what had happen.

“Stols…”

“P-please Blitzø just leave. There is no need for you to stand here and torment me any longer, I’ve had enough right now. If you wish to continue to batter me you can come back tomorrow but I cannot do it tonight.” Stolas was a shell of himself. He showed no emotion what so ever.

Blitzø made no effort to leave, he just stood there trying to find any kind of expression in Stolas face to be able to make a suitable comeback.

“BLITZØ LEAVE, DO I HAVE TO GET ONE OF MY GUARDS TO ESCORT YOU OUT OR CAN YOUR LEGS DO IT THEMSELVES” blitzø was shocked that Stolas had just raised his voice to a yell for the first time. Usually if he was upset he wouldn’t get too heated but Stolas was at his breaking point.

“Stols I-“ Blitzø didn’t have anything to say. As he looked down at Stolas he realized how much harm he really caused. This whole time he thought everything wrong with this relationship, or whatever you wanted to call it, was because Stolas was a prissy royal when all along Blitzø just refused to let him in and kept pushing him away.

Stolas looked up at Blitzø with the most heartbroken look on his face. Neither of them said anything for a minute. With tears sneaking past his eyes he let out a heavy sigh, Blitzø knelt down beside Stolas, reaching out to gently touch his cheek. Once again Stolas flinched away from his touch.

“I'm sorry, Stolas. I not good at this talking shit and the sappy fucking feelings, but I know it’s not an excuse for the way I’ve treated you" he whispered, his voice filled with remorse. He blinked back his tears and kept all his concentration on NOT fucking up again (like that’s gonna happen). Stolas held his gaze on the floor knowing that if he looked at blitzø he would break down for the hundredth time today.

“Stolas please just look at me, I know you don’t give a rats ass about what I have to say but right now is the only time I will probably ever be this vulnerable.” Blitzø said with sniffles as he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Stolas peered up at Blitzø slightly and winced as he accidentally placed his hand back down in the glass shards.

Blitzø took a deep breath, his eyes locked with Stolas'. "I need you to know this," he began, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I've spent so long blaming you for everything that went wrong between us. But the truth is, I was scared. Scared of letting you in, scared of being vulnerable, scared of letting you get hurt again, scared of me fucking up everything we created." He paused, his voice wavering slightly. "But, Stolas, I can't keep pretending that I don't need you in my life. You're the one person who sees me for who I really am, and I don’t understand how you like me this much I mean got not even M&M like me enough to talk to me on off days for sevens sake!” (unless I’m stalking them) “I've been pushing you away because I was too afraid to admit it." Blitzø's gaze softened, his walls crumbling with each word. "I love you, Stolas. And I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused your bird brain.”

“Yo-you love me blitzø?” Stolas began to cry yet again being the emotional man he is. Everything was twisting and turning in his head. Any words blitzø had said now were going through one ear and out the other.

Blitzø's heart clenched as he watched Stolas cry, the raw emotion in his eyes tearing at Blitzø's own resolve. "Yes, Stolas, I do, but I can’t promise I’ll ever say those shitty words again" Blitzø replied softly, reaching out to gently wipe away Stolas's tears. "I've been too much of a pussy to admit it but don’t expect anymore more of this mushy bullshit." He took a shaky breath, his own emotions threatening to overwhelm him. "But seeing you like this, it's breaking me too. I can't stand to actually see you hurt because of me."

Stolas sniffled, his tears subsiding slightly as he looked up at Blitzø with a mixture of disbelief and hope. "Blitzø, I... I l love you," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But we can't keep antagonizing each other like this. We have to figure out a way to make this work, or else..." He trailed off, the weight of their uncertain future hanging heavy in the air.

Blitzø nodded, his resolve strengthening as he tightened his grip on Stolas's hand. "I know, pretty bird. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right between us," he vowed, his voice filled with determination. "We got a long fucking road ahead of us, but I believe we can try this as long and I pull the plug out my ass and man the hell up." With those words, Stolas showed what he could of a smile. His hand had finally healed, not like he didn’t expect that, and went to go grab his robe finally realizing he was butt naked.

“Sorry for my indecency dear, I didn’t expect anyone to smash through my window ever again.” Blitzø took a hold of Stolas’s arm before he could reach his robe. He ripped Stolas back across the room. “Never bothered me pretty bird!” Blitzø smashed his lips onto Stolas’s beak. Blitzo pulled back and sternly looked into Stolas’s bottom eyes, “Also, Don’t you ever fucking try to get rid of me again!!”

#stolitz #stolas x blitz #stolas goetia #stolas #blitz #blitzø #blitzo #helluvabossstolas #helluva boss #helluva blitzo #helluva boss blitz #hb

[pride-moth]

You only get what you grieve [Stolitz Week Day 5 Hurt/Comfort]

Ao3 Link

Event Info Link

Stolas has been drifting in and out of consciousness in his tight restraints for hours by the time Blitz, Millie, Moxxie and Loona break down the door to his holding cell. It’s a big, empty room, all metal and a single cupboard. Stolas is tied to a chair, has been for days, no food, no water in his reach. To get it, he would depend on Stella’s mercy and she has shown him none.

It takes him a moment to force his eyes open, and attempt to feel his own limbs when they all pour into the room. He can’t, the ropes around his body have cut off all sensation in them. He can faintly remember them hurting when he was first put in them, but all the pain has long been replaced by unbearable numbness.

Blitz rushes towards him to hold his face between his hands. “Millie! Give me your knife!” he yells and cuts Stolas free the moment he receives the knife.

Stolas’ arms fall to his sides uselessly. “Blitzy?” he says weakly, his voice barely more than a rasp.

“Sir, I think he’s dehydrated,” Moxxie remarks.

“Then get some water, Moxx!” Blitz yells, making Moxxie scurry into the back of the room, stands in front of Stolas again and takes his face back between his hands. “Stolas? Hey, it’s… It’s okay, we’re here now, you’ll be okay.”

“Stella?” Stolas asks, it’s all he can get out.

“She… She’s dead. We… Took care of that. It was… I was… Sorry, there was no other way.”

Stolas doesn’t say anything, but is overcome with a hefty cough.

Moxxie comes running back with a large bottle of water. Blitz yanks it from his hands and holds it carefully to Stolas’ beak. “Slowly,” he says softly, perhaps more softly than Stolas has ever heard him speak.

He drinks, trying to slow himself down, but he hasn’t had a drop of liquid in three days and his body is aching for it with every fiber. His arms start to itch again, so that’s a good sign as well at least. He stops drinking for a moment to whisper “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, I wouldn’t just let you die in this hole.” There’s a rumbling above them. Blitz looks up in obvious concern. “Can you get up?”

“I don’t know, I barely feel my limbs.”

The steps above them grow faster. “Loona, you’re strong, can you throw him over your shoulder when we get in a hurry?”

She shrugs. “I guess. Either way, we should probably get running.”

“I thought…?”

“Yeah, we got rid of Stella, but unfortunately Striker still has a bit more of a personal problem with us,” Millie explains while she gestures for Blitz to give her her knife back.

As if on cue, Striker appears in the doorframe, already bleeding from his shoulder, but his eyes hungry for a fight. “You killed my source of income, you destroyed my job and you’re even trying to save this pompous asshole?”

“I’d rather have a pompous asshole than a deranged one!”

“Hand him out to me, I’m sure there are enough overlords and royals in Hell who would be more than willing to pay a good bounty for him. And I would even be generous and give you all 10%. As a peace offer.”

“Fuck you and your peace,” Blitz says, draws his gun and takes a single shot.

The bang echoes throughout the small room and leaves Stolas’ ears ringing. A stinging pain takes over that makes it hard for him to look up and focus. But when he manages to lift his head again, he sees Striker on the ground, struggling to hold onto this bleeding leg.

“Let’s get out of here,” Blitz sighs and motions for everyone to follow him as he jumps over Striker and leaves him behind on the ground.

“Sir?” Moxxie says as though to raise an objection.

“Shut it, Moxx. Loona, take Stolas. Now.” Blitz doesn’t even look back at them.

Loona throws Stolas over her shoulder with surprising ease and carries him outside.

They make their way through the abandoned warehouse building in uneasy silence, only the sound of steps on metal between them.

When they make it outside, the light almost burns Stolas’ eyes. “Let’s go to the office,” Blitz offers.

“But Via…” Stolas says weakly, still hanging over Loona’s shoulder, suddenly overcome with fear for his precious baby.

“She’s there, we got her out of the palace first thing before we went on our little rescue mission. Took one of your butlers, too, so someone can look after her.”

“Oh thank the stars.”

“No, thank me maybe, but you can save that for later.” Blitz fishes his phone out of his pocket and stuffs it back in, frustration all over his face. “Moxxie, would you call an ambulance?”

“What?”

“An ambulance. Weee-oh, weee-oh. Takes people to the hospital, do you even have a brain up there?!”

“Sir, I know what an ambulance is, but why?”

“Well, Striker is bleeding out in there, for one.”

“Don’t you want him dead?”

Blitz laughs. “Are you insane? He’s the only motherfucker in Hell to put up a real fight, do you really think I want to deprive myself of that fun?”

Moxxie sighs, shakes his head, but calls the ambulance without further discussion.

Loona sits Stolas down on the couch of their waiting room. Stolas thanks her and feels sleep gnawing at him more intensely than ever before.

It takes not even two seconds before Octavia storms in and throws her arms around him, “Oh my God, Dad! You’re safe!”

Stolas weakly lifts his arms, thankful to feel them again at all, and wraps them around her. “Of course, Via. I would never leave you alone.”

“I assume Mom didn’t make it?”

Stolas’ looks around helplessly, unsure of how to respond.

“She was on the way to fully execute your dad, so we didn’t really have a choice,” Blitz says, as a matter of fact, but he doesn’t seem particularly happy about it. “I… I’m sorry.”

Octavia nods. A thousand emotions run through her big eyes in a matter of seconds. Grief, relief, anger. “I… I’m glad you’re safe, Dad. I just… I need a moment.” She lets go of him and gets up. She leaves the room.

“Via-” Stolas tries to get up but his legs don’t quite allow him to yet.

“Leave her,” Loona says, “Her mom might have been a bitch, but she was still her mom and it’s hard to lose that. I’ll check on her later.”

Stolas wants to protest, run after his daughter, but simply gives her a sad nod. He’s not running anywhere yet.

“How are you feeling?” Blitz asks as Millie enters the room with some hot chocolate for everyone.

Stolas can only shrug. “Like shit, mostly. I can sort of feel my body again, at least. But, I just… I can’t form a clear thought, it’s all so… foggy. I… I can’t even think of how I feel about Stella being dead. It doesn’t feel real. Nothing feels real.”

Blitz nods and hands him one of the hot chocolate cups. “That’s okay, take your time.”

“You’re being extremely nice to me,” Stolas remarks.

“Stolas, I’m coming off a 72 hour rescue mission and I’m mostly just glad you’re alive. I don’t exactly have energy left over for snarky sarcasm, okay. Being as charmingly abrasive as I am takes work.” Blitz plops down on the couch next to him with a shaky laugh. Stolas leans against him.

“Thank you. I don’t think I would still be alive without you.”

“I would never let you die,” Blitz whispers.

Across the room Millie is gesturing at Moxxie and they excuse themselves from the room moments later.

“Where are they going?”

Blitz sighs. “Ugh, they want to give us the room. As if I’m gonna drop a whole confession speech on you when you barely function.”

Stolas stops. “Confession?”

“Oh crap.” Blitz blushes. “I… Don’t worry about it today, okay? Worry about your daughter and the very awkward funeral you’re about to attend soon. Just… Just let me help you put yourself back together.”

Stolas stays silent.

“Let’s start by massaging your shoulders, those must be killing you. Sorry, maybe not the best time to make jokes about murder. Uhm, anyway.” Blitz puts his mug down, gets off the couch to walk behind Stolas. He starts carefully massaging Stolas’s shoulders.

It feels good, it takes some of the edge off, it brings warmth back into Stolas’ body. It makes everything feel a little less horrible. It makes everything horrible he has experienced in the past few days feel a little farther away. He doesn’t want Blitz to ever stop touching him. He wants to feel these hands on him for as long as he lives. It should be some earth-shattering revelation, but it simply feels like the culmination of everything they’ve been through. “I love you,” he whispers, without thinking.

Blitz stops massaging him for a moment. “You should call a therapist.”

“Because I love you?”

“No, because you’ve just spent three days tied up in a storage unit without food or drink and your wife had to be murdered to get you out of there. You might need some help processing that.”

“Were you even listening to me?” Stolas asks, a little heartbroken.

“I was, Stolas. And I love you, too, you big idiot, but I’m not going to talk about this with you now. Not before we’ve slept for 24 hours. Not before things aren’t somewhat okay with your daughter. I don’t… I’m not going to take advantage of you like that.”

“It’s not-”

“Please, Stolas. Let me just… Be there for you for now. Platonically.”

Stolas swallows but then he nods and that’s all that’s said about it for the evening. It’s enough, though, for now, that Blitz brings him hot chocolate and massages him and helps him talk to Via and helps him get up and walk again. And Blitz is right, he has other concerns for now. The horror of the moment is over, but there’s so much work ahead.

#helluva boss #stolas x blitz #stolas x blitzo #stolitz #stolitz week #hurt/comfort #fanfiction #my writing

[shadowofthelamp]

might as well talk about this over here

I don't think I'm going to end up writing irken au as a full fic and I feel kind of bad about it, but I just.... really don't feel like I'd actually make it all the way through without dropping.

I might write a series of ficlets, but it's noooooot going to be anything near the size of aip. I feel like trying to start another long project is just gonna burn me out on iz for a while. I'm never going to stop loving iz, but I kinda need a break. more under cut.

I’m never going to hate iz, it’s been way too important to me and I still love the characters and working with the world so much, it’s just... I was working with WAY LESS than this when I was 15-18 or so and ducking in and out in 6-month phases because the fandom was way more dead then, (it was still kinda kicking when I was like 12-14, at least more than it was a few years later) but having a bunch of people all slowly stop caring just... kinda really sucks? a lot? talking to myself on purpose is different than performing in a thriving auditorium and then having like 75% of the people leave. 

plus, I didn't realize just how burnt out I got until I started writing for something new and actually felt REALLY REALLY EXCITED to write again. I like td but it's... not as fun to write. I like the end product but the actual WRITING process is more frustrating than fun at times.

I don't know if some of this is just having to write 50k words for class in a month and a half and hitting general writing burnout, but I was pumping out the new fandom fic pretty fast so I don't think it's that? having the zim fandom slowing down is... probs part of it. I hate, hate, hate what anti-shippers have done, harassing people out of the fandom who have done nothing wrong. I followed recapkid through a few different accounts on twitter because vindictive assholes are still stalking them to THIS DAY and kept reporting them. every one of you who thinks people shipping funny alien with paranormal man justifies horrible harassment and doxxing, go sit on a poker, you’re a big part of the reason so many people peaced out and I can’t blame them for it. 

okay, don’t want to get too off-topic. anyway, irken au feels... idk. easy to mess up, I guess? like, it's much more of a tight emotional arc, and I like being able to play it loose, so just the idea of writing it feels like it'd be a chore- aip was so fun because it was basically ficlets in order. td, I’m putting off writing partially because it’s much more ‘normal’ in format and I feel stifled by that. even if I took the aip ficlets-in-order format, there’s only so much I can do without directly ripping aip off, and it mostly takes place on dib’s ship, so it’s just dealing with Feelings Stuff. besides... I don't want to pick up another zadr longfic. I like writing the short ones now.

related, I want to do more on discord but I just feel completely wrung dry for ideas and feel like I have nothing of worth left to contribute. I like seeing the stuff others make, but I don't know what to add- I just feel sort of empty and feel more and more guilty that I don’t have anything to say as time goes on. you’re wonderfully creative and I am dust. I think 2020 brain finally made its way to me.

it’s an awful, hollow feeling, because I want to keep going with iz so badly but it feels like the people who are left are already in their own groups, and I don’t want to get burned, especially considering I’m running on fumes as-is. anybody from the discord reading this, it’s absolutely not you guys, you’re the best. it’s me.

there’s still pleeeeeenty of issues in my new fandom, (it’s just as bad as iz, if I’m honest, possibly even worse) but I’m actually having fun there because I’m fine vibing with a much smaller group, and I’m posting a lot more. it’s self-indulgent bullshit to the nth degree but I think that’s what I need right now.

I’m probably going to post the next chapter of td soon, but I might pull back from making content the fandom for a little bit other than the discord just because I refuse to burn out entirely on this thing that’s meant so much to me.

anyway, if you got to the bottom of this and you’re 18 or above and want my helluva boss/hazbin blog, dm me. I’m chilling more over there and making my stolitz fankid hold hands with radioman.

#yeah this was a twitter thread that's why it's kinda formatted weird #shut up shadow #yeah that goes in there instead