#bruce doom spiraling because dick didnt want his mash potatoes....

[martyrbat]

grimm – batman: legends of the dark knight #149

[ID: a panel sequence of young Dick Grayson just two months after his parents' murders. He's sulking at the dining table in the grandiose Wayne Manor. The dinner is taking place in front of a lit fireplace that causes the entire room to have a soft, bronze glow to it. The table itself is long and decorated and Bruce Wayne is sitting on the opposite end of it. Alfred Pennyworth prompts, “More mashed potatoes, Master Dick—?” But Dick is too busy thinking about a young criminal he ran into when he snuck out earlier. He quietly mutters the taunt she told him, “‘Spoiled brat in a circus suit’—?” Alfred asks, “Was that a yes or a no?” The pouting child brusquely tells him, ”no,” which causes the butler to clear his throat. Dick begrudgingly corrects himself, “No thank you, Alfred.” Alfred responds, “As you wish, Master Dick.”

But Dick is already uttering another taunt under his breath, “‘Lap of luxury’!” Bruce leans forward slightly and asks if everything is okay but Dick dismisses his concern. He excuses, “I'm... I'm not very hungry, Bruce. Is it okay if I go to my room?” Despite his obvious qualms, Bruce awkwardly smiles and replies, “Uh... Of course. Certainly.” Dick gets up as Alfred tells him the food will be in the refrigerator if he gets hungry later but Dick just ‘uh-huh’s him as he walks away. With the child upstairs, Bruce immediately stands up and paces. He stops in front of the fireplace and stares into the blaze as he monologues his worries, “Maybe this was a mistake. What in the world made me think I could raise a boy? I don't know the first thing about it! I've always been a loner! I don't have the knowledge... or the disposition... to make this work.” Alfred wryly asks, “Are you addressing the fireplace, Sir—or me?” But Bruce stresses his demur without looking at him, “His parents are dead, Alfred! What gives me the temerity to believe I can replace them in his life?”

Alfred solemnly reassures, “I asked myself the same questions once. What in the world did a butler know about raising a young man who'd just lost the two people he loved most in the world? But strangely enough, Sir—I adapted. I learned. I learned because I wanted to... Because I cared. And... despite some difficulties along the way—I think the young man in question turned out splendidly. And I think Master Dick will too.” Bruce doesn't say anything but he his eyes closed in thought as Alfred talks before looking at him with a soft smile. He straightens his posture when Alfred finishes and puts his hand on his shoulder, silently grateful for the man's fatherly reassurance and support once again. END ID]

#losing my mind at this.... #bruce worrying and doubting himself and if he can give dick the life he deserves #he loves him. he cares. but he knows love alone wont save someone and his own worries about what if he fails #alfred who started this cycle of caring about someone elses son and trying to raise orphaned children while fearing you arent good enough #you see your own heartbreak in their face and you try so hard to save them because its saving yourself in a sense. #bruce doom spiraling because dick didnt want his mash potatoes.... #dicks chubby little face.... #alfreds love and support but always with that barrier. he loves & raised bruce like hes his own child but hes always going to be the butler #every ‘son’ being replaced with ‘sir’... #and bruce internalizing that barrier and that layer of separation and distance so he duplicates it because its all he knows #he doesn't want to but its all he knows and hes still terrified of what if he fails them? what if he loses them #by disappointing them and them seeing hes not qualified and good enough to be their father? #but also if he isnt good enough he'll fail them by getting them killed. he'll lose his loved one yet again #just this cycle of fear and doubt and love and trying your best despite it not always being good enough and GAH #also cannot stress enough bruce monologuing and doubting himself because dick is upset and didn't want dinner is so funny #c: batman: legends of the dark knight | i: 149 #crypt's panels #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #bruce & dick #alfred & bruce #happy sad boy sunday !!! #<- it counts enough only because im posting this on a sunday >:3