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#alfred pennyworth
aquaqueen2020 · 6 hours ago
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Damián : I think Alfred mixed up out lunches. Look. [holds up a post-it note that says “I love you so much.”]
Marinette: Oh, that explains this.
[holds up a post-it note that says “Please be good. For the love of God, be good.”
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dailydccomics · 14 hours ago
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just some casual training
Batman Black and White (2014) #5
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thehellbatbg · 14 hours ago
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[Catching Damian in bed with Raven]
Alfred: *Faints*
Bruce: What the Hell do you think you're doing?!
Dick: Well, I think it's pre-
Bruce: I know what they're doing! I wanna know why they're doing it!
Dick: Well, I think-
Bruce: I know why they're doing it!
Alfred: *Faints again*
Bruce and Dick: Alfred!
Steph: Go Dami! Rock her World!
Raven: ...
Damian: ...
Raven: Your family is weird.
Damian: You don't say...
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batfam-rewrites · 15 hours ago
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Batfam During Quarantine: Snow Day Part One
Clark, Lois, Jon, Kara, and Kon approach Wayne Manor.
Jason: FIRE AT WILL!!!!
Everyone: *throws snowballs at Clark, Lois, Jon, Kara, and Kon*
Clark: *uses his heat vision to melt the snowballs*
Jason: RETREAT!!!!
Everyone: *runs to the doors of the manor*
____
Jason: Okay, now as we all decided, Damian and I will be the leaders of each team.
Duke: No one decided that except yourselves.
Jason: Well, we’re pissed at each other so just accept it.
Stephanie: What did you do to each other?
Jason: It doesn’t matter!
Damian: Now, the grown ups have also agreed that they want no part of this...
Jason: Because their boring!
Damian: So all of you will be drafted.
Kara: What if we don’t want to be on either of your teams?
Jason: SILENCE!!! Now some ground rules.
Damian: No weapons or powers, each team will be given slingshots, custom catapults, and two custom made snowball machine guns.
Tim: What the hell!
Damian: Each team has a half hour to prepare. Each team will also have a medic. The medic is to go out and find teammates who have been hit and bring them back to the base to bring them back in. If the medic is hit, and you get hit, you’re out for the rest of the war.
Luke: Seriously, what did you guys do to each other?
Damian: SILENCE!!!! Now the draft will begin.
Jason and Damian: I’ll pick first. *stares furiously at each other*
Dick: We’ll flip a coin.
Damian: Tails.
Dick: *flips the coin and catches it* It’s heads.
Damian: Dammit!
____
Damian: Okay West, you’re the medic. Gordon and Thomas man the machine guns. Row-Two and Brown take a catapult.
Cullen: These are just shovels.
Damian: TAKE A CATAPULT!!! Cain, Danvers, West, and Kent grab a slingshot. Gordon, you’re my second in command and Kent you’re my third. Understood!
Everyone: *nods their heads*
Damian: Good! Everyone take a radio. West and Cain, find me a route to get Todd. Danvers, I want you to tunnel through the snow and create a path towards their trench using your super speed. You all may fire on my mark.
____
Jason: Listen up suckers. Julia, you’re my medic. Go take a slingshot. Roy you are my second. Replacement you’re my third. The rest of you, I don’t care what you do, just leave the demon spawn for me. Let me know when you hit someone.
Roy: Dibs on the machine gun!
Harper: I call the other one!
Jason: Okay, I got a slingshot, rest of you, shovels or slingshots! Go! Time has started!
Dick: *runs towards the back of the mansion, firing snowballs at Damian, Cullen, and Jon* AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *runs into Kara behind the mansion* Hey, *fires his snowball and hits Kara* how’s it going?
Kara: Not bad, what are they fighting over?
Dick: Could be anything really. See ya! *runs through the carved trench*
____
Damian: FIRE!!!!!
Everyone starts firing snowballs at each other.
Kara: *through the radio* I’ve been hit!
Damian: West!
Wally: On it!
Damian: Cain and Kent, accompany West to cover him!
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waterfire1848 · 19 hours ago
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Bruce: Alfred, Diana and Clark are mad at me.
Alfred: Were you talking before they got mad?
Bruce: Yes.
Alfred: That’s probably why.
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dovelywind-writes · 19 hours ago
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I.O.U
by dovely_wind
Jason Todd/Roy Harper
Rated: E
Swearing, Mature Sexual Scenes, Fluff, Smut, Humor
Words: 2290
Jason Todd, Roy Harper, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson (mentioned), Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Krypto the Superdog, Ace the Bat Hound
Link to Ao3: I.O.U
Follow my main blog @dovelywind for more💕
“Wait—mmph. Roy — baby wait.”
Roy dug his tooth into his lower lip. “Like hell if I listen to that.”
Jason wasn’t surprised by the firm hand that gripped his ass cheek, but he wasn’t not surprised by the tenacity of the movement.
Fighting did this to them. The thrill of aiming their guns — well his guns and Roy’s arrows — at other mercenaries while suffocating under the smog of air that was Gotham’s pollution. Nothing quite like it especially when needing a good turn on.
Jason moaned into the kiss; the utter feel of Roy while trying, unsuccessfully, to unhook the latch on his bedroom window. “Can’t we at least get inside first?”
Roy’s eyes were in a state of some primitive sex drive; his mouth persistently sucking a hickey onto his neck moments later. “Lemme fuck you out here.”
“Hell no,” Jason snickered. “Out here is not soundproofed, my brothers’ windows are open and you, my friend, get way too loud.”
Roy snorted, his large arm muscles tensing as he crossed them across his firm chest. With a wry smugness, he raised an eyebrow. “Sure. It’s definitely me screaming ‘ Oh fuck right there, Roy ’ by the end of it all.”
Jason unhooked the latch before stepping into his bedroom. He figured over the years of staying at the Manor that Bruce found out he had been sneaking out. During his more rebellious years, nothing was off limits. He was positive Bruce removed the high tech security lock he had installed about the Manor in his room. The lock had gotten easier. And nothing with Bruce is easy.
“Alright,” Roy plopped on the bed, grabbing the hem of Jason’s polyester tee. “Let’s get it on.”
Jason sucked in a breath sharply, counting one - counting two, as Roy licked over his navel and up his abdomen roughly, with an unwavering possessiveness. Before he felt his arousal take over him, he grabbed a fistful of Roy's hair. “Wait — I have — we need lube.”
Despite the shadows, Roy’s eyes shone with bright mischievousness, like a shark sighting blood. “If I do you raw, you’d be sore as hell and that’s definitely a sight to see.” He tapped his chin, as if truly pondering his options. He squeezed Jason’s ass - man, he really loved when he touched him - Roy's cock twitching reactively against his knee. “But with lube, we could go on longer...alright. I’ll wait for the lube.”
Jason watched Roy start to undress; muscles tensing as he shrugged on his uniform, bulge straining against the useless fabric. Jason shook himself out of it, tossing off his leather jacket and mumbling to himself.
The hall was dark and he was sure the other three were staying here this weekend. Clark had made it a thing to try to have the whole family together at least one weekend of the month. Since Bruce hadn’t slit his throat with Kryptonite yet, Jason could assume he was relieved that someone was trying to keep his family together.
The floor creaked as he took a few steps down the hallway. He winced as it croaked beneath him. Leave it to him to wear heavy duty combat boots on wooden flooring. Ace and Krypto, who lay in their own beds in the hall, had their ears perk up and eyes open wearily before resting back as before. He decided to try and make his venture as quick and possible.
Dick probably wouldn’t have any lube in his room, he considered. Let’s face it, he genuinely wasn’t sure where the heck Dick was getting some ‘dick’ action these days. Tim definitely would not — should not? — have any in his room. Unless that little speedster friend of his was taking things too fast with that Reyes kid and offered Timmy some. Kon has been looking a bit on the impatient side these days. Clark would probably figure out a way to murder Kon before those two lost their flowers to one another. And he definitely wasn’t stepping foot into Damian’s room for a bottle or tub of such. At least, not for another few years or so before Jon gets his shit together and Damian knocks his mood swings from twenty down to a three.
That left Bruce’s room.
Venturing down the hall at night to his and Clark’s room was — and he’d never admit it aloud — still terrifying. When he had moved into the Manor, it was usually just him, Bruce and Alfred around. That with the occasional appearance of a pissed off Dick Grayson and ‘I’m becoming your second dad’ Clark Kent.
But he’d usual only head to Bruce’s room for another body of support and company. Sadly enough, it doesn’t happen as much, but at the same time he hadn’t been quite as scared or lonely — hence the purchasing of an un-refundable Roy Harper — but it doesn’t stop him from thinking about those nights of safety in Bruce’s King sized mattress.
Once reaching their bedroom door, Jason turned the knob gently, trying to reduce the creak by going slower. (FYI, doesn’t help).
He peered to the bed, catching sight of a mountain sized Kryptonian spooned up against a cocooned, brooding bat. He snorted ruefully. “Those two,” he muttered. (That sight really wasn’t surprising honestly, the fact that they weren’t doing something was. They were definitely becoming more domesticated.)
He headed over to Bruce’s vanity, quietly sifting through the draws to find some extra bottles. He’s changed it around since he last had to steal some things from him. Hair gel, combs, condoms, lotions, cologne, — name it, he’s probably stolen it. Errm, borrowed without returning.
“Bingo.” Searching through the last draw he found an unused one. They didn’t seem to have anymore — Clark, the sly fox — so he wrote out an ‘I.O.U.’ on a post-it signed ‘J’.
As quietly as he entered, he left before heading back to Roy who was in the perfect position: jacking off his swollen cock on his bedsheets. Perfect.
“Like what you see?”
Jason shrugged, toeing off his boots before pulling down his underwear and pants. “Depends. I’ve seen it before. Kinda unimpressed.”
Roy’s mouth quirked annoyedly at that. “How about an up close look?”
Sinking down on to his knees in front of Roy, he shrugged his eyebrows. “If you insist.”
He took his time torturing Roy by appreciating the sight of his pre cum thickening by the minute as he waited for him to take him into his mouth. Roy was silent though, pleading through his stillness to have his mouth on him. When the cum drooled out sloppily onto Roy’s bruise clad knuckles, Jason took pity on him and licked upward to the head and pulsing slit.
He loved Roy’s taste. The tightness of his cock — it’s fullness. He loved the way the veins tightened as his saliva coated the base. He loved how his arousal made Roy grip his neck as he took him back into his throat. Jason sucked on him roughly, mouthing the head reverently while using his hand along with Roy's to pump his hardening cock.
Jason peered up at Roy carefully, watching his eyes glisten beneath the moon. Jason reached a hand behind himself to swab a bit of the lube onto his other before reaching it down into his impatient hole.
“Someone wants me,” Roy choked out throatily as Jason’s tongue dipped into the slit.
“Mhmmm. I fucking want you to fill me, Harper.”
Things happened quite fast from there. Jason was on the bed in an instant, ass propped up high. Roy squeezed his ass appreciatively, making them both moan. The tingling feeling in his ass made him harder. He focused on the feel of Roy’s calloused hand as it rubbed over him, a lubed finger of his later breaching his entrance. Jason gnawed down on his bottom lip as Roy worked him open, his finger persevering past his tautness and voyaging inside.
“Yes Roy, I need you,” he hummed drowsily.
“Me too.” He heard Roy get down onto his knees behind him, crouching between his legs before cupping his arms beneath his thighs to spread his ass apart. He worked him open for a few more minutes, skillfully stretching him open with his middle and pointer fingers before deciding to switch and bury his tongue inside. Jason moaned and clenched at the contact, greedily wanting more of Roy.
Roy was muttering something to him as his tongue worked him open, wetting and drilling into him, but he couldn’t hear. Why the fuck would he think he could hear when his mouth felt that good on him? Jason arched his back, shoving Roy deeper between his ass cheeks. His cock was drooling unashamedly into his underwear.
“Fuck yeah,” Roy murmured, grabbing the back of Roy's tense neck and burying his face deeper into him. His tongue lapped reverently around his rim, thrusting into him alternatively. Roy reached around to grip his cock, stroking Jason’s head and teasing that sensitive cluster of nerves. Jason felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes while Roy was sending him to cloud nine.
Jason groaned as he felt the Roy's tongue work his hole, short and quick. “Cum," he panted. "I have to —”
“Gotcha.” Roy stood up, granting one last wet flick of his tongue to his entrance and changing standing upright. Roy grabbed the lube quickly, fumbling with cap momentarily before squeezing enough out onto his hand to lather upon his anxious member. Roy took a dollop of it after, spreading some more lube over Jason's hole, exposing it to the cool air of the room. Jason bit down hard onto his bottom lip as he felt Roy line himself up to his ass and press his leaking head to his hole. His large cock squeezed through the tightness, Roy pushing in hard enough to be able to plunge his cock back into him where it belonged. Jason moaned groggily as Roy's cock massaged his inner walls.
“Fuck yeah, Roy!” His cock slid in and out of him with such focused energy, such tenacity. “Fuck yes, ke-keep going!”
Roy chuckled. What the hell was even funny to him right now? “I told you you’d be the one screaming.” Oh that. Well, nothing could be done about when his prostate was getting hit on so rapidly and so perfectly.
Roy rutted into him harder, their rhythm increasing every breath. The sound of smacking skin echoed about the walls of the room, Roy's grunts coming strained as his hips slapped against his ass. His insides were on fire, head reeling as he tried to keep Roy inside of him. Keep him fucked and filled—
“Ah, Jay," Roy croaked, voice thick, deep, and rough. "I think I’m...unh-“
“Me too," Jason heaved drowsily, feeling his cock tremble and leak more so. "Me too — fuck!”
Jason came heavily over the bed, huffing while his climax made him see white. Roy sucked in a sharp breath, flooding his insides with his load immediately after. His ass was burning pleasurably, the shockwaves that wracked through his body finally simmering down.
Roy flipped him around, holding him down by the neck before kissing him until his lips bruised.
"So perfect," Roy soothed, kissing over his face. "Love you."
Jason smiled, sucking his teeth. "You're so corny," he murmured into a warm kiss. "I love you, too."
“And how the hell did you say you busted your lip again?”
Jason flipped his oatmeal slowly feeling completely spent from last night. Roy couldn’t stay for breakfast - Arsenal business back in Star City - and Jason was having a hard time sitting here. Besides, he’d rather just be back up in bed away from Tim’s incessant questioning.
“I didn’t,” he gritted, covering the blueberry with a spoonful of wet oats. Alfred shot him a glare every so often, most likely bothered that he had the audacity to be playing with the food he prepared.
Tim scoffed. “So why don’t you?”
“Ask me another question and I’ll stitch that mouth of yours, kay?”
Damian tsked, lips pursed judgmentally. “Well, that escalated.”
He pointed his spoon at Damian. “You’re next.”
“Jason,” Bruce said, coming out of nowhere, with that vibrato that grated eardrums. Leave it to Batman to sneak up on you. “Stop threatening your brothers.” He came into the kitchen quietly before smacking a post it to his forehead.
“Umm, ouch.” Jason peeled it off his face before reading the paper etched with Bruce's version of script. His face paled.
You better work on your I.O.U. today, from your allowance, because Clark was not happy this morning. - B
He peered across to Bruce at the head of the breakfast table who was glaring at him creepily. Jason shot him a look right back that conveyed something along the lines that he, Bruce Wayne, had enough money to buy all the lube in the world, if he wanted. That, in retrospect probably wasn’t the best thing to say through eye contact.
“Fine.” Bruce’s nose crinkled before turning to Clark, who was seated in his usual spot next to him, eating his food glumly. He looked more...frustrated than usual. And a frustrated Superman, was, well...he'd experienced it once in his lifetime and rather not deal with one again.
“Honey," Bruce called all innocently. "Jason has something to tell you.”
“On second thought,” Jason stood up animatedly before Clark could ask him anything. “I’ll be back. Three? That rich one?”
“Seven,” Bruce quipped.
Jason scoffed. “You’ll pay for this.”
Bruce snorted. “We just established that you are. Maybe Roy could help. He seemed able last night.”
Clark raised an eyebrow at Bruce and Jason practically jumped before he could look at him.
“I’m out!”
Thanks for reading💕
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dragonimpal67 · 21 hours ago
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So, my brother and I were watching Big Hero 6. And we were laughing at Freddie's butler Heathcliff. He's not the least bit phased when "Young Master Frederick" shows up home soaked to the skin and accompanied by for other soaked teens and an inflatable robot. Nor is he phased when they build super hero suits for themselves.
Let's be honest, like father like son.
This isn't the strangest thing he's seen either of his masters do.
And at least his master's aren't as bad as Cousin Pennyworth's.
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It is my personal headcannon that Alfred and Heathcliff make tea and bitch about their respective families over skype on the regular.
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wwprice1 · 22 hours ago
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Great work by Jorge Fornes!
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hitchell-mope · 22 hours ago
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He’s got a point kid
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fictionalnopantsparty · 22 hours ago
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The idea of Alfred seeing pre-spray Jeremiah and going, "Yep, I have another child now". Like, where do you think Bruce gets it from. Alfred would take one look at that scared little nerd and immediately start asking about food preferences and allergies.
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While it's true that it ain't easy being Robin having Alfred around tends to make life more than a little easier.
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autumn-elwood · a day ago
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Bruce: Okay, boys, today we have a very important mission.
Tim: Why isn't Cass here?
Bruce: She said no.
Dick: Where's Jason?
Bruce: I can't trust him on this one.
Duke: Okay but why are we searching the manor for guns?
Bruce: Alfred told me I'd never find them all and I took that as a challenge.
Damian: Are these Pennyworth's firearms we are trying to find? If so, I want no part in this, father.
Dick: Yeah. Same. I'm not going against Alfie.
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spaacechild · a day ago
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Batman and Robin, Father and Son :’) and Alfred!
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Citizen Soldiers
As series of Batfamily oneshots thant are inspired by the band Citizen Soldier
Timothy Drake attempts suicide. These stories surround the events before, during and after the incident.
Features Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth and Bad parents Jack and Janet Drake.
(Damien Wayne comes along later)
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i cry with anger / i have done no crime
In the Titans attack au, Jason actually researches his replacement. What he finds is deeply disturbing, which his home life is not at all good. So he decides to be a good brother and save him.
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