Dick: Do you want a hug?
Dick: Did you even hear what I said?
Dick: What did I say?
Damian: 'Do you want a hug?'
Dick: IF YOU INSIST!
Damian: Dammit, that isn't--GRAYSON! GET OFF, DAMN YOU!
Congrates to Timothy Drake for coming out as queer and for finally figuring out a way to stop Damian from bulling him because Damian Wayne may be many things but he is not a homophobe
Bruce Wayne in the middle of a robbery/hijacking at a gala or something, completely done and just so tired mentally and physically and really not wanting to sneak out and get suited up as the bat: Hey can I like pay you to do this another day? Can...is that something I can do?
The villain of the day knowing damn well that Bruce is always a nice hostage, always willing to play along with their schemes and sometimes fun enough to try and stop them: you good bro?
au where Jason stays with Talia and Damian after being resurrected because he’s gone slightly insane and wants to commit murder and Talia is having none of that, nope, gonna convince child to stay at my side until the Pit wears off, Ra’s be damned.
fast forward a few years, Jason has mostly chilled out, though is still down to murder criminals. He spends most of his time annoying the hell out of Ra’s and sometimes running missions behind Ra’s back for Talia. He’s basically Damian’s older brother. Probably goes by either Jay or Jace, but Damian at least is aware that his full name is Jason since he’s heard Talia use it. Jason has thought about letting the bats know he’s alive, but always backed out.
then Talia sends Damian to live with Bruce. Jason is often away on his own by this point, for missions or just because he wants to travel, and isn’t there when this happens.
now, Damian is an absolutely brat, and everyone immediately is like “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.” they’re going through the house and Damian is making snotty comments about everything when suddenly he freezes, surprising everyone. He squints at a portrait on the wall.
“...who’s that?” he asks slowly.
“Ah, that’s... Jason. Jason Todd. The second Robin. He... died, a while ago,” Dick explains with a sad, faraway smile.
“.....riiiiiiight,” Damian says slowly. Suddenly a whole lot of things make sense -- he knows Jay came back from the dead, but he doesn’t know how Jay and Mother knew each other. “If you’ll excuse me. I need to make a phone call.”
He sprints out of the room.
(Talia, for the record, definitely knew this was going to happen when she sent Damian to Bruce.)
Two weeks later Damian tows a reluctant young man with black hair into the Batcave, trailed by an astonished Alfred.
“Damian!” Bruce says, horrified. “You can’t just bring strangers into the Cave! It’s completely irresponsible, do you have any ideas what the consequences could be for us-”
There’s a crash, and they all turn to stare. Dick is staring at Damian and the newcomer, stunned, his chair lying sideways on the ground. “That’s impossible,” he murmurs, voice shaking. “You’re --”
Damian rolls his eyes. “Jace isn’t a stranger, Father. He’s my brother.”
“Brother-?” Bruce turns to look at the man, and promptly drops the files he’s holding.
Jason Todd smiles nervously at him. “Hey, old man. Long time no see.”
EDIT: I have more! Check out Way Too Many HCs I Have for this AU because it’s pure fluff and I’m living for it at the moment
EDIT 2: This au is now called “Remained”! All posts for to it can be found at the “remained au” tag.
Batman (2016) Annual #1
Ace being trained as a service dog and alerting when Bruce dissociates or stops taking care of himself is one of the best things to ever happen.
Alfred really did that. He really said "You may not listen to me, Master Bruce, but you'll bloody well listen to this dog."
When Jason first came to Wayne mansion had the thought of 'how long untill I get thrown back on the streets again?' and Bruce made a deal that he'd only be forced to leave if he read every book in the house. Jason looked around and saw three decorative book and was worried untill Bruce took him to the library that has two large floors of filled bookcases. Later older Jason took that as a challenge but for every book Jason read Bruce would buy two more.
consider: Jason Todd, son of Bruce Wayne, is way more of a cryptid than Batman, so far as Gotham is concerned
basically, this is what the average Gothamite knows:
Jason Todd, the first adopted son of Bruce Wayne -- while he did adopt Dick Grayson, his first ward, it wasn’t until Grayson was well into adulthood -- was presumed dead following a tragic incident while he was studying abroad in the Middle East. Then, many years later, Todd returned to Gotham, revealing that he had survived, and took over ownership of the Iceberg Lounge for a few months, and then promptly vanished again. (Everything in this paragraph is canon, btw. Most of it is from RHatO 2016, particularly issue 32.)
Was his death faked? Did Wayne know he survived? Where is he now???? Nobody knows.
If you want to include preboot canon, you can add “Bruce Wayne lost custody of him for a time and he was briefly adopted by Natalia Knight, who was secretly the villain Nocturna; Wayne regained custody after her criminal activities were exposed. Did his disappearance have something to do with her?”
Somehow, Jason’s civilian identity is literally a bigger cryptid than any of their vigilante identities, including Red Hood. The entire family is like “thanks, I hate it!” Jason himself can’t decide if he thinks it’s hilarious or if he hates it.
He nonetheless makes a point to use his actual name for some innocuous thing about once a year, always in completely random places scattered around the globe. Generally he lets one (1) person get a semi-decent picture of him, and then he vanishes again. The internet always blows up over the sighting of the cryptid Wayne son. Jason is enjoying it more than he should. (Barbara will never admit it, but as Oracle, she finds it incredibly funny.)
Vicki Vale is suffering.