Duke, curled up in his chest: How can tall people sleep at night when the blanket can’t possibly cover you?
Jason: Duke, light of my life, it’s four o’clock in the morning.
Duke: So, you can’t sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?
Jason:
Duke:
Jason: My toes are freezing-
Duke: I knew it!
Damian: Drake, do you know what a Neanderthal is?
Tim: Yeah, I’ve been called one before.
Bruce: By who?
Tim: …
Bruce: Damian?
Damian: Yes, it was me father.
Batman: I have a plan to save the world and I need you all to do what I say when I say it, in order to succeed
The Justice League: Ok
Every World Leader: Ok
Literally anyone else: Ok
Robin: …
Robin: No offence B but I’m not gonna do that
Jason: Choose your next words very wisely.
Tim:
Tim: Penis.
Dick: You know, it’s almost like we’re a real fam—
Damian: Desist speaking.
Jason: If you say the f word, I will shoot you.
Tim: Yeah, you’ll just jinx us.
Dick:
Dick: You know, it’s like we’re a real fucking mess aren’t we?
Jason: Better.
*Bruce was bout to leave*
Bruce: You guys. The light switch that’s pulled out by the door, don’t touch it. It’ll knock the snot outta you guys. Don’t touch it.
Jason: Ok.
Bruce: Don’t touch it.
Jason: Ok. I won’t. Hey, Replacement. Go touch the switch.
Dick : What is the most inspiring thing I’ve ever said to you?
Jason : “Don’t be an idiot” changed my life
Roy: When I’ll go to jail, I’ll change my name in Mitochondria, because…
Tim: Because it’s the power house of the cell, we get it
Jason: That’s genius
Dick: …
Dick: So no one is going to bring up that he said “when” and not “if” he goes to jail?
Dick enters the room wearing a crop top and ripped jeans.
Dick (giving a spin): So what do you think? I love it I’m not sure it’s slutty enough.
Bruce: Dick please leave.
Dick: Is it because I’m absolutely killing it in this outfit and you disapprove of murder?
Bruce: No it’s because Selina’s coming ov-
Selina enters the room wearing shades and drinking out of a flask.
Selina *looking dick over*: Could be sluttier.
Dick: I KNEW IT!
Roy: I noticed we have slowly started to phase the ‘B’ out of our bromance.
Jason down on one knee, ring still out: I mean yeah, I guess.
Jason: “Who died and made you Robin?”
Tim: “…you?”
*(1) Missed call from Alfred Pennyworth
Later in the bat groupchat:
Jason: Was the call from Alfred supposed to be ignored?
Dick: No. Bruce was supposed to answer it.
Bruce: I didn’t realize Alfred had called.
Bruce: I will call him back.
Damian: When you do, ask him about hearing aid recommendations.
Steph: Have you ever fallen in love?
Tim, nearly in tears: I can’t even fall asleep