#incorrect batfamily quotes
arguablysomaya · 2 days ago
Dick: Are you crying?
Jason, sobbing: This book is so fucking sad.
Dick: ...
Dick: Jay, this is a cook book.
Jason, sobbing harder: I know, the recipes fucking suck.
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batcavescolony · a day ago
Batman: yesterday Robin jumped off a second floor balcony, skinned his knees and got up like it was nothing but this afternoon he got a papercut and I had to hold him for 20 minutes because it's was 'the worst pain in the world'.
Robin: IT WAS!
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honeysimx · 2 days ago
Bruce Wayne about Dick Grayson:
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incorrectbatfam · 2 days ago
Tim: Hard boiled eggs are disgusting. I almost died eating one. The crunchy-soft mix is absolutely gross, it's like eating a ravioli covered in chips
Duke: You're supposed to remove the shell.
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gotham-exclusive · a day ago
Tim: How much of what you’re saying do you believe right now?
Dick: About sixty percent.
Tim: I thought it was in the mid-eighties. How’d you pull it off so well?
Dick: Experience.
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batfamgalore · 2 days ago
*Jason is on a walk and a guy pulls up in a shady car*
Bad guy: Get in.
Jason: What?
Bad guy: If you care about your brother, you’ll get in this car.
Jason: Which brother?
Bad guy: Damian.
*Walks away*
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incorrectgothamcity · a day ago
Damian: I've caught this stupid disease because of Grayson.
Jason: For the last time, feelings are not an illness.
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thebitterflamingo · a day ago
Dick Grayson probably: We don’t do guns here. The only weapons we use are wea-puns!✨
*gets shot by Jason*
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the-nerd-nextdoor · 13 hours ago
Jason: *about to throw Tim across a roof top* “In the name of the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit 💥YEET💥”
Dick: *scrambling to catch Tim* “HOOD THATS NOT HOW WE TREAT LITTLE BROTHERS”
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malfiora · a day ago
Steph: do you want me to throw the confetti in my pocket?
Tim: Not in the car!
Tim: Why do you have confetti in your pocket?
Steph: It's my emergency confetti, I carry it everywhere in case there is good news.
Based on this tweet
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redlotus98 · 2 days ago
Batfamily Incorrect Quotes 1
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*Jason holding a sign that says Robin Patrol unfair*
Jason: "This is a picket sign: Robin Patrol Unfair. Short, sweet and to the point."
Dick: "How about this Jason?" *Holding a sign saying Robin Patrol Funfair *
Tim: "A funfair? Where? I could go for some fun!"
Dick: In the Batcave!
Tim: "Hey everybody, let's go to the funfair!"
*Tim, Steph, Cass and Duke run past Jason*
Damian: You've got to be aggressive to get the things you want! You're too soft!
Dick: But I'm a-
Damian: Don't say it! *sees Harley Quinn with Dick's ice cream cone* There's the villain that took your ice cream... don't you want it back?
Dick: Ice cream!
*Dick and Damian chase after Harley*
Damian: "Listen you! My friend's got something to say!"
Harley: * turns to Dick* "Wah! Who said that? Was it you?"
Damian: "Tell her off Nightwing - assert yourself!"
Dick: "That's my ice cream cone!"
Damian: "Great! NOW LET HER HAVE IT!"
Dick: "You can have it!"
Harley: "Say, thanks!"
Damian: "NO!"
*Tim is feeling self-conscious, and he tells Dick who attempts to cheer him up*
Dick: "Maybe a story will cheer you up! It's called the Ugly Barnacle. Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!"
Tim: "That didn't help at all...” *starts crying*
A/N: Everybody say thankyou @the-house-of-auditore-frye​ for the quotes💙 no but seriously, thank you for the quotes my fave bitch, love you💚
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arguablysomaya · 2 days ago
Dick: How is everyone doing?
Jason: Well I’m breathing
Dick: Setting the bar pretty low huh?
Jason: Well it’s better than Tim anyways
Tim: [having a panic attack] honestly fuck you
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batfamonline · 2 months ago
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collectivefandomstuff · a month ago
Batman: [arms crossed] explain yourself
Robin (Dick Grayson): first off, that switch had a faulty label and there was no way for me to know that flipping it would-
-time skip-
Robin (Jason Todd): -make the vat of hollandaise sauce explode, I mean who even puts a-
-time skip-
Robin (Tim Drake): -mutant jellyfish in a shopping mall?! I had to do something. So maybe I stole a truck to transport the baking soda but-
-time skip-
Robin (Stephanie Brown): -what did you want me to do? Sit back and watch you get your legs chewed off by an alien life form? And before you say anything I know that it was just Mrs Sands’ Schnauzer but at the time I really thought-
-time skip-
Robin (Damian Wayne): -that the waitress was sent to poison you. My actions were justified.
Signal: how come Cass never took up the Robin mantle?
Batman: [without hesitation] she’s not annoying enough to be Robin
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incorrectbatfam · 2 days ago
Dick: I told Jason his ears flush when he lies.
Tim: Why?
Dick: Look.
Dick: Hey Jason, do you love us?
Jason, covering his ears: No!
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batcavescolony · 10 days ago
Reporter: Mr Nightwing you've been seen working with Red Hood, some would say he's a bad guy, what do you think the worst thing he's done is?
Nightwing: getting taller than me
Reporter: what?
Nightwing: yeah he was like 4ft 10 but then he come back AND HE'S SIX FEET TALL. I'll never forgive him for that.
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misinterpretedmythology · 3 months ago
How rumors spread through the Batfamily...
Tim, to Stephanie, during patrol: I saw Jason smoking last night on patrol? I thought he quit?
Stephanie, to Barbara, after patrol: Tim said Jason was having a rough night. Must have had another run in with Black Masks gunring.
Barbara, to Dick, on call: Steph said Jason was having trouble with a shootout last night? Crazy.
Dick, to Damian, in the cave: Jason was involved in a shooting last night. I hope everything's okay.
Damian, to Bruce, at breakfast: Todd has been shot.
Bruce: ...
Bruce: ..I--
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incorrectgothamcity · 2 days ago
Batman: *has a full-body cape*
Robin's: It's free real-estate
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lockpick-kid · a month ago
bruce: that’s it! i’m declaring 15 minutes of silence. everyone just sit down and think about what you’ve done.
bruce: what is that horrible dripping noise?
damian: todd was stabbed
bruce: WHAT? why wouldn’t you tell me that?
jason: 15 minutes weren’t over
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gotham-exclusive · a month ago
Dick: When I was your age—
Jason, mocking him: When I was your height—
Dick: Listen here, you little shit-
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