Duke, curled up in his chest: How can tall people sleep at night when the blanket can’t possibly cover you?

Jason: Duke, light of my life, it’s four o’clock in the morning.

Duke: So, you can’t sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

Jason:

Duke:

Jason: My toes are freezing-

Duke: I knew it!

Damian: Drake, do you know what a Neanderthal is?

Tim: Yeah, I’ve been called one before.

Bruce: By who?

Tim: …

Bruce: Damian?

Damian: Yes, it was me father.

Batman: I have a plan to save the world and I need you all to do what I say when I say it, in order to succeed

The Justice League: Ok

Every World Leader: Ok

Literally anyone else: Ok

Robin: …

Robin: No offence B but I’m not gonna do that

Jason: Choose your next words very wisely.

Tim:

Tim: Penis.

Dick: You know, it’s almost like we’re a real fam—

Damian: Desist speaking.

Jason: If you say the f word, I will shoot you.

Tim: Yeah, you’ll just jinx us.

Dick:

Dick: You know, it’s like we’re a real fucking mess aren’t we?

Jason: Better.

*Bruce was bout to leave*

Bruce: You guys. The light switch that’s pulled out by the door, don’t touch it. It’ll knock the snot outta you guys. Don’t touch it.

Jason: Ok.

Bruce: Don’t touch it.

Jason: Ok. I won’t. Hey, Replacement. Go touch the switch.

Dick : What is the most inspiring thing I’ve ever said to you?

Jason : “Don’t be an idiot” changed my life

James Bond who?

Roy: When I’ll go to jail, I’ll change my name in Mitochondria, because…

Tim: Because it’s the power house of the cell, we get it

Jason: That’s genius

Dick: …

Dick: So no one is going to bring up that he said “when” and not “if” he goes to jail?

Dick enters the room wearing a crop top and ripped jeans.

Dick (giving a spin): So what do you think? I love it I’m not sure it’s slutty enough.

Bruce: Dick please leave.

Dick: Is it because I’m absolutely killing it in this outfit and you disapprove of murder?

Bruce: No it’s because Selina’s coming ov-

Selina enters the room wearing shades and drinking out of a flask.

Selina *looking dick over*: Could be sluttier.

Dick: I KNEW IT!

Roy: I noticed we have slowly started to phase the ‘B’ out of our bromance.

Jason down on one knee, ring still out: I mean yeah, I guess.

I wonder what Jason’s reaction will be when he finds out Willis is Wingman. I’m kinda excited to find out. Also what’s with dc bringing back dead dads?

Jason: “Who died and made you Robin?”

Tim: “…you?”

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*(1) Missed call from Alfred Pennyworth

Later in the bat groupchat:

Jason: Was the call from Alfred supposed to be ignored?

Dick: No. Bruce was supposed to answer it.

Bruce: I didn’t realize Alfred had called.

Bruce: I will call him back.

Damian: When you do, ask him about hearing aid recommendations.

Steph: Have you ever fallen in love?

Tim, nearly in tears: I can’t even fall asleep