y/n: guys i really recommend poetry to help you get out your emotions and find a source of serenity!
tim: i wrote a poem once
y/n: let’s hear it!
tim: i like coffee,
i am a mess,
please see this poem,
as a sign of distress.
y/n: o-okay. good start! way to dig into those emotions!
jason: MY TURN! when my ass is-
cass: *crying while watching a movie*
jason: *chucks the tv out the window*
cass, in tears still:
jason: do you feel better now
I’m touched that you would risk your career for me. That means a lot to me.
If you’re right, and I’m not saying you are, it would mean I broke the trust of someone I respect and admire for your sake. If it is true, I would hope in the future, you’d be a little bit more mature and responsible in your behavior.
I’m grateful and all, but let’s not go crazy here.
I should’ve let you rot in jail.
bruce: dick what the hell is going on with tim and damian?
dick: theyre finally getting along :D
bruce: THEYRE MOVING OUT BECAUSE YOU KEEP TRYING TO CUDDLE THEM
dick: but they’re moving out TOGETHER
damian: come along drake we will not be forced to exist in this environment
tim: couldn’t agree more demon- buddy.
Bruce: You just killed five men, what do you have to say for yourself?!
Bruce berating Jason for doing something reckless after a huge Arkham breakout: That was so irresponsible you of! You could have-
Jason, bored and trying to get him off topic: Dick didn’t report an injury
Bruce: I already checked Dick over and he is fine. As I was saying that was so irresponsible you of! You could have-
Jason: Tim is attempting to hide an injury
Bruce, whipping around in concern to see Tim getting looked over by Alfred: As I was saying that was so irresponsible you of! You could have-
Jason: Duke is trying to hide an injury
Bruce: Ok that is enough! This is a serious topic and you need to listen! What you did out there was reckless and you could have gotten yourself hurt. And don’t drag Duke into this he would never do something like that!
Duke creeping up the stairs behind bruce, holding his side and a roll of gauze: *sweats nervously*
dick: DAMIAN GET DOWN HERE
damian: grayson whatever you think i did it was todd
dick: yeah? so you didn’t ask zatanna for a spell to turn jason into a donkey?
damian: no i did not, i asked her to turn him into his truest form
jason: you jackass
Things Tim Drake Isn’t Allowed To Say Anymore
- say sike rn
- i mean go off but like-
- it’s decaf i SWEAR
- yk i could buy an assassin to kill you if i really wanted to? clean hands bitch
- fuck it i’m moving in with conner
- can you pass me the coffee pot? (at dinner)
- imagine thinking bruce was actually dead. like rip to you but i’m different
- highest iq gets to go first move bitches
- guysss stop making fun of my superhero name!!!
- be nice to me or i’ll become a kent
- you wanna hear what i googled at 2am last night?
- ITS ONLY A SPLEEN ILL BE FINE
- yeah i’m totallyyyyy going to bed now
- k but did Ras call you detective? i didn’t think so bitch
- PLEASE someone watch haikyuu with me
- i’ll turn off the LEDs in my room the day i DIE
- can i pleaseeeee bring conner (and bart and cassie)
- give me one good reason why i shouldn’t dye my hair
- depression times anxiety equals happiness it’s like multiplying two negatives!
- why can’t i listen to 100 gecs in the batcave???
- i call dibs on being batman next
- the best robin has arrived
- gn! (at 9am on a tuesday)
Bruce: *On his phone* All of these have success stories!
Jason: And none of ‘em are mine.
Dick, on trial for something he did as Nightwing but they have no evidence that Dick Grayson did it
The judge: How do you plead?
Dick: On my knees like a good boy
Jason, hiding in the back wearing a large trenchcoat and fedora: Lock him up your honor!!!!
*Lila trying to flirt*
Damian- You know, your hair look like sausages, sorry but I’m vegan.
BatFam laughing in the background
Jason: Look at this!
Dick, fighting bag guys: Jason you pick the worst times to ask me to look at something
Jason: Y’know who else said I had bad timing asking for attention? Bruce.