#but after everything that happened to yu during this time? lmfao yeah he would be really bad off

[obeysword]

suicidal thoughts / depression / anxiety / paranoia / decline of health

after nanako’s death in the hospital, yu would have killed himself if he’d been left alone that night. if he had gone back up to namatame’s room & finished what he started, bc he did wonder if he made the right choice with stopping yosuke, after he would have attempted suicide. dojima was so distraught he was likely sedated after being dragged away by security. there’s no way yu would have been with him. there’s no way yu would have made it through that night alone.

through the month of nov. yu deals with heavy depression. he doesn’t eat unless someone prompts him. he starts losing weight. he hates being alone in that house. the only reason he goes to school is for a distraction & it’s better than being home alone all day. he starts to wither away. he’s tired, depressed, & a lot of menial tasks for him make him drained & he has no energy for even cooking, cleaning, or a lot of basic chores. he’s able to hold himself together enough for the group, though. his hope is very low on nanako’s recovery, however. she went into that world, still recovering from her cold, & was right beside namatame when his shadow was unleashed. dojima’s back was fractured in that car crash & there’s a lot of things that go through yu’s head if he did die: what happens to nanako, my parents would never want to take her in willingly, if he dies i’ll move away from them & take care of her. i wouldn’t go to college.

by dec. yu let himself hope so much finally bc nanako was awake & her condition improved greatly. he’s more himself, happy again, it’s a shift people can feel. finding out she died, destroyed yu. whatever was holding him together, was broken beyond repair at that point. no one in this group besides yosuke could actually handle yu at his worst, i want to make that really clear. they have a deep bond that can’t be easily defined. i think the others might be able to help him, but not all of them. that’s not a bad thing but yu doesn’t want to open up to people about his pain, his family, & he doesn’t talk about what happens when spring comes. he doesn’t want to reach out to others like they find comfort in him. it’s not a burden issue, it’s: i can’t support myself & no one has ever helped me through things before so i don’t even know how to ask for help. yu is actually a very guarded person emotionally. i’m not sure anyone in this group could handle yu fully broken, bc it’s not just a smile & some kind words that are going to fix things. he cries, he can’t stop until he’s exhausted. he wants physical contact & he might push a boundry with someone if he’s not aware of his actions. he’s still trying to keep his mask up. it’s so apparent how everyone can see. a lot of the group has to pick up the slack & support each other bc yu can’t fill that role outside of combat situations. his words would feel more hollow bc he feels empty.

yu physically holds himself together & uses pain to distract himself when he’s slipping. he’ll claw at his arms, press his nails and fingers hard enough to bruise. he’d never cut into his skin, but there’s so much of him that doesn’t want to be alive. even after nanako’s deemed alive, this still lasts for some time. it doesn’t go away bc they got some good news.

adachi’s betrayal made yu paranoid. how many people does he know, how many could he meet, that would be just like that underneath everything? this builds trust issues within him. it’d be difficult for him to open up to people outside the gang for awhile.

after ameno-sagiri, yu doesn’t feel suicidal anymore. he knows what waits him after he dies, & it terrifies him beyond belief. death is not a release for him. yu doesn’t think he should be alive, he knows he shouldn’t, but he’s still here. why would igor pick a wildcard knowing what was in his future? maybe he thought through his death it would spur the group forward enough to win the “game”. yeah, fuck igor.

christmas isn’t a big celebration event for yu. it feels like more of a chore but he likes being around his friends. HE’S TIRED. he is so tired at this point. but he’s pushing himself to be around his friends & act as normal as he can despite feeling weighted of the past two months.

new years & yu getting sick. yu stayed outside for, i would say roughly 20-30 minutes waiting for yosuke & teddie to show up. he could have gone around the corner to wait with kanji, but he thought they would have been there & he didn’t want to abandon his post bc they might show up any second. he was stubborn. yu admits he’s cold when asked how he is. it’s really cold that night. the next day, if yu felt any symptoms of sickness, he ignored them. he played with nanako & then continued to stay outside meeting up with the people he grew close to over the year. after everything that happened, his body just gave out on him. the stress, depression, the emotional turmoil, dying, adachi, it all built up to where his body said: you’re not stopping & you’re ignoring me, so i’m going to stop you before you actually put yourself back in the grave. he is really sick at this point. he can’t even get upstairs or stand on his own. you can only do so much for someone who doesn’t even want to get better. for a good while, yu didn’t. this was bound to happen to him.

#▼ OOC △ #▼ HEADCANON △ #suicide ment // #suicide cw #suicide tw #suicidal thoughts tw #depression tw #depression cw #death cw #death tw #i hope that's enough to tag but pls ask me if i need to add any <3 #this is a monster but omg #winter is just hell for yu #suicide is extremely common in japan too #most reports get written off as sucides & mental health is treated as a joke #but after everything that happened to yu during this time? lmfao yeah he would be really bad off #i know the game still has you meet with social links & all #but i don't see that being likely for yu #he stops taking care of himself & he's so exhausted socializing would be draining him further #i actually started to cry writing this ;w;