#but theyre fictional and i can do what i want soooooo

[coffee-ground-bones]

thinking about how differently i simp for characters.

aventurine, dazai, and scaramouche rambles, all lowercase written in 1st person POV

with aventurine i want to caress his face and pepper it with kisses until his mask falls and he turns into a blushing mess. i want to cuddle with him while watching a movie and play with his hair and call out the plot ahead of time. i want to drive to the local coffee shop and find a nice table where we both work on our shit, even though i cant have caffeine and he would rather have whiskey. i want to spend hours in his arms when im upset and i want him to spend hours in mine, as many as he desires (although i hope the tear filled ones would be few, not out of repression but out of those troubles being healed)

then theres dazai. i want to choke him but i dont know if its in a kinky way or in a murder way. its probably both. i want to walk around with a fond smirk as he does the most stupid shit and i make fun of him for it. i want to flick his forehead even though hes a bit too tall for that to work out lol. i want him to kiss the back of my hand and ask for a double suicide so i can say "yes! i just have a few things to clean up first, does 80 years from now work for you?". i want to get to know the people he cares about and the people who care about him so we can all make fun of him but love him in the end.

i want scaramouche to call me insignificant, to degrade me to tears with his words and love me to tears with his actions. i want to hear his thoughts and privately tell him "thats not very nice, kuni" and get into a small married couple spat. i want him to rant to me about how someone is completely wrong about something and teach me all the intricate details of his point. i want to give him all the bitter foods and for him to give me all the sweets, together we can eat anything our way and wont have any leftovers in the pantry or fridge.

im sure im missing more, and i left out the more... sexual thoughts, but there are so many of those. this is just what came to mind:)

#aventurine x reader #scaramouche x reader #dazai x reader #i love them dearly #i gosh i shouldve talked about rei sakuma and sampo and gojo and– #most of them would leave me for a man tbh. #but theyre fictional and i can do what i want soooooo

[souyaf]

hi i just wanted to ask how women reading yaoi/yuri is automatically fetishism? im sorry for asking its just i could not understand that. a lot of trans individuals discovered their proper gender/sexual identity through such media, im non-binary and bi and media exposure is what made me understand myself in a homophobic/transphobic environment...and cishet people can read or produce it as well. is consuming or creating mlm/wlw content exclusive to the individuals only? i will absolutely not say that a lot of people are not creepy, they are weird about fictional stuff and that leads them to be weird to real people too. again my apologies, i just wanted to understand as english is not my native language so i just wish to be respectful. sorry for the long ask

hi! my dni specifically states "if you're a cishet woman and read yaoi/are a fujoshi/fetishize mlm/wlw."

so i would like to preface and say there's a difference between yaoi/BL and yuri/GL. since my dni specifically mentions yaoi i'll go there.

so first it depends what your intentions are when consuming the media. if you're reading BL why are you reading it? do you just like that it's two guys and you find that hot/cute? or do you actually enjoy the storyline and characters and how their relationship forms and grows.

if you're reading it because you just like to see two guys romancing each other because they're guys...then that's weird. but if you're reading it because the storyline and character growth is really enjoyable then that's okay!

as for yaoi....i don't think there's really any reason a cishet women should be looking at straight up yaoi for any reason other than that she's getting off to it. yaoi in this instance is porn. it's just straight up porn. even worse if they identify as a fujoshi and read yaoi.

fetishizing mlm/wlw just means that when you're, say, scrolling down tiktok and see two dudes just being pals you immediately go to ship them. because they're guys. and they're friends!!!!! so they have to be dating bc gay people can't be friends with someone of the same sex without being gay together!! that's 1. kinda homophobic and 2. fucking weird.

this is a huge reason i strongly dislike shipping culture in general. most of the time it just feels like people see two characters of the same sex and go "🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 they have to date now!!!!!" even tho there's no real substance to their personalities and sometimes they never even interact. it gives a very weird message of "MEN MUST BE TOGETHER SO THEY CAN BE GAY ABD DO GAY THINGS" if you yourself are a gay person and ship ppl to be gay that's fine but if you're straight and immediately go to make everyone gay....again....ask yourself why you do that...is it because "ugh gay relationships are SOOOOOO much cuter than straight ones!!!!"

so essentially, it really comes down to your own intentions. naturally, i don't know your intentions when you're reading content or doing whatever but you do. and i like to make it clear thru my DNI how i feel about it. if you know you're reading the content for a good reason then fine but if you find yourself reading the content for less than ideal reasons then...u know, smthn to think about i suppose.

also to tack on; i don't like when cishet people create wlw/mlm/nblw/nblm content or whatever mostly because it's going to be told thru a cishet view. it's not really their content to be creating or their stories to be told. they don't know what it's like to be gay in a gay relationship all theyre going to have is their third party views and that just....again, begs the question of why is a cishet person wanting to insert themselves into non-cishet content

#[+] — love note #[+] — love anon #i hope this makes sense my hands r fuckinf freezing #and it's hard to type

[strangelydoctored]

50 Questions

tagged by @tonyrights​ sorry this is so late luv, ive been setting up for a new puppy!  xx

1. What takes up too much of your time? my other hobbies on tumblr and my service puppy, im getting ready for him to arrive, oh and school!

2. What makes your day better? my cat, my family, my friends. 

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today? i finished a project i had been working on and it felt good to sit back and be proud of how it went

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? asgard or the USS ENTERPRISE

5. Are you good at giving advice? im not sure but some people ive grown up with always come to me or call me when theyre in a jam

6. Do you have any mental illness? i have clinical depression, and acute anxiety disorder

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no i have not!

8. What musician inspired you the most? musicians dont inspire me im mostly inspired to do or create stuff from books or just when im daydreaming during a lesson

9. Have you ever fallen in love? nope thankgod, i thought i did once

10. What’s your dream date? i really dont like dates, at this point after the amount of people ive dated and the times ive bet met with people who act like imbeciles, children, and just overall horrible people with horrible life choices ive come to the conclusion dating is for people stupid enough to believe theres good in anyone. sorry i popped off but love is a made up concept.

11. What do others notice about you?

im entirely cynical and kinda frosty, but id give you the skin off my back if you needed it. your hearts not working? take mine!

12. What is an annoying habit you have? im forgettful 

13. Do you still talk to your first love? see 9

14. How many exes do you have? 4

15. How many songs are in your playlist? 1760

16. What instruments can you play? guitar, violin, keyboard

17. What do you have the most pictures of? my pets, loki and tony stark

18. Where would you like to go before you die? denmark

19. What is your zodiac? pig

20. Do you relate to it? no

21. What is happiness to you? hanging with my pets on a sunny day in winter with a good book, probably shakespeare if im real honest

22. Are you going through anything right now? im always depressed anxious or self loathing of my body soooooo yea like always

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? being born

24. What’s your favorite store? hmmmmmmmmmmmm forever 21? idk i like their street wear

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? i am pro-choice! this is not up for debate.

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nope 

27. Do you have a favorite album? paulo santo - the years and years

28. What do you want for your birthday? anything snake, shark or marvel related idk. i pretty much buy whatever i want

29. What are most people’s first impression of you? my ex friends thought i didnt cre about them, that i was taxing and draining because i didnt hand hold them and coddle up their fucking arse *insert eye roll* so idk that i guess? im not going to blow smoke up peoples arse and im not going to baby you because your ego needs a soft touch. this is the real world not daycare.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

looks 20-22 (im 24 this year) my online presence probably older, my friends refer to me as the “dad” or “uncle” 

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on my wireless charger, i hate wires hanging around so i just place it on the disc and pass out

32. What word do you say the most? fucking seriously, is a term i use alot, or just really??? if im in public. humanity is still suprising which is a feat

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? god idk, how old is colin firth? i mean id maybe hit up william shatner if his twitter wasnt misoginistic, ....no wait fuck it id do it for the cash. i could help my parents pay off their house and like i mean if you close your eyes hes still young or if he says stupid shit gag him. 

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? 22-23

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? vet, sales

36. What’s your favorite music genre? anything everything

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? denmark, sweden or japan

38. What is your current favorite song? Hallelujah by the years and years or maybe Tongue by MNEK

39. How long have you had this blog for? since 2019

40. What are you excited for? picking up my puppy parker.

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i can do either but i prefer to listen, im a bit too blunt.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? i finished a project yesterday

43. What do you want for christmas? thats too far away how about christmas goes away and takes its trashy music with it. can we extend halloween?

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i got the best grades in english and biology/chemistry. 

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? -0.0/10

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

throwing myself into the sun probably, burning down marvel headquarters idk. 

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? uhhhh 19 maybe?

48. What age do you want to get married? fuck off never, ill keep to myself thanks

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i wanted to be a doctor but as you can tell id have horrible bedside manner

50. What do you crave right now? tony, tom hardy, loki, angela basset, dinai.....idk maybe starbucks or maccas. this is too broad of a question.

tagged: @tonystark-mcu @marvelplease @gayspiderbaby @bckvbarnes @peterparkrrs @cloakofiron @couchpotaito @natrromanoff

#ask tag #tag

[forestlion]

4, 12, 21 (and then if u wanna all the 30 ones i'm just picking at random idk what those questions are dkfjslfjs)

i answered this then i clicked some random buttons and all was gone so this is a redo i wish i could remember what i wrote..........also thank you lisa RIP love ya

21: Which of the boys would you want to get drunk with?

i think........these questions are gonna be tough when i only ever stanned niall....... ive been biased since day 1 and if i ever said “i like them all equally” then that was a clear lieso to answer.....this question: im gonna hafta say niall dont i? just for the cliche. like we are both.... we both oughta fulfill the cliches of Beer Drinking Europeans although neither Ireland nor Germany is top 1 beer drinking country in europe as far as i recall. its the ch...the tcheque..... its Tschechien. the czech republic

12: What are your five favourite songs?

impossible to answer, one direction has tunes only...... but im gonna......say...... wmyb, girl almighty..... i want....uhm........fucking.... same mistakes mayhaps.....and last but not least.....temporary fix

4: Name four things that remind you of your favourite.

yeah yeah yeah ok yeah absolutely great question. o boy let me tell you what reminds me of niall. lets sit down and i will start talking. absolutely. sonr 1) ireland, i mean, iconic, yeah, nr 2) nandos bc ive been here in this here fandom for quite some time ill let you know. back when 1d was humble and youthful still and was not yet able to afford gourmet luxury food only and would actually eat something plebeian like nandos.... nr 3) guitars. not really but boy does niall sure play the guitar!nr 4) derby????? golf???? roy mcilroy

and all the 30 ones bc im self indulgent and i love to talk. depends. im a scorpio i know silence

30: Which of the boys is the best boyfriend?

i have absolutely no way of answering this i wouldnt know. i dont even know who has a girlfriend now. does niall have one? does harry? i dont know....theyre all rich sooooooooo SOOOOOOalso does anyone want a controversial opinion? dont answer this youre gonna get it anyway in case anyone reads:

is harry part of the lgbtq+ community or is he just making, sort of, the “pink” coin. if you know what i mean. does he just like the idea of being called “a gay icon”? im just. im just not really..... you know. im sure hes an ally but......is he also....profiting off of....you know. am i overthinking this. i dont really follow him bc he has no personality on social medias but ive not seen him very, generally, outspoken about..... except for sometimes waving the rainbow flag. eh

31: Which boy is which fictional character? ( Book / Movie / TV- Show )

theyre all cinderellas evil step-siblings

32: Which boy is the most like you personality-wise?

personality wise? i hope none of them no offence. but no. i cant even tell if they have a personality or if theyre just rich and count that as a personality

33: Do your friends like One Direction?1 whole real life friend @saintssebastian aint that right???? we still on this right?????? 

34: To how many of their concerts of have you been?ihgishfgishdfhdfighsdifhgsodghidh none bc i spent my entire child and teenage hood very very rurally far far away from oberhausen and berlin

35: Blond or brunette Niall?

blond. he can do what he wants with his hair but i was disappointed when he grew it out

36: What would you get your favourite for christmas?

i would get me his credit cards and him a fist to the face

37: Describe your dream-date with your fav.

we are at his house. i punch him unconcious and steal all his money,

38: Describe your dream- wedding with your fav.

we are at the wedding reception. i punch him and the priest unconcious and i steal all his money

39: Would you want kids with your fav? How many? How would you name them?

we are at the clinic. the doc and he notice the pillow ive worn for nine months. my lies are unveiled. i get up, punch them in the face and steal all their money. also i would name the child Falk

#tag #tags #long post #one could mistake me for a directionator #but i swear im not #agardenintheshire

[undeademoprincess]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @hoseokjinns bruh this has been sitting in my drafts for how many eons????

name: Dawn blood type: b nickname(s): Celeste (cousins mainly) and then anything else is adding an e or i sound to the end of my name (tho i have noticed dawners is a frequent name) r/s: dead inside zodiac sign: libruh pronouns: she\her favorite tv shows: dude, i havent seen any tv shows since i was 8, that was well over a decade ago. i collect the dvd/blurays of tv shows but not often. my mother and i are really into futurama but other than that its usually animes that i collect long or short hair: literally lopped my hair off myself like 3 days ago height: 5′5″ do you have a crush on someone: if fictional characters count then yes, the husband list keeps growing and i need another closet to shove them in but real life im fighting a “battle” what do you like about yourself: i have yet to be called annoying or that im an ass to those i love and i support them with all i can, so ive got that going for me right or left handed: right, tho i am ambidextrous over weird ass shit. like gymnastics im left dominate in??? idfk either man list of three favourite colors: literally any color associated with fall/autumn and ill be a happy camper

right now: eating: just ate a cracker that had peanut butter on it cause im munchin hard drinking: sweet h2o man i’m about to: probably go to bed or i might work on my drafts for my writing blog, havent decided yet listening to: a mix about cats, love, breakfast and being tired by in love with a ghost (on youtube) kids: hell no, unless i know i can support the damn thing with all i can while living comfortably along with someone i KNOW wont leave both me and the kid and help me then maybe, but its still a really strong no. pets are fam tho, so technically i have like 5 kids already get married: down for that, annoying someone all the time as a “job” sounds fun, especially if we get late night adventures and do weird ass cooking class shit for fun. ITS IN THE CONTRACT YA KNOW career: i really want to travel the world and get paid to do so, but at my own pace

most recent: drink: water????? idk what you want from me man im a thirsty hoe for livin phone call: been on discord all day today with 2 of my best friends and listening to music with my bot the other half on it song you listened to: lauv reforget (literally just came on) 

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: nope, and im not the type to let them get away with it if they ever did kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed: yes, began at a very young age due to the death of my father. literally had a midlife crisis when i was 4 cause of his death been drunk and thrown up: hell no kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: glasses had sex on the first date: no, not really my thing broken someone’s heart: i think so, never really ask how they felt about it afterwards turned someone down: yuuuup cried when someone died: yes fallen for a friend: mmmmm, not really??? i usually crush on an acquaintance and my friends drag them in and somehow become friends later??? 

in the last year have you: made a new friend: uuuuuh, maybe 3??? i dont like leaving my house nor do i like wasting my time on strangers, especially if theyre rude fallen out of love: yeah laughed until you cried: many times, MANY FUCKING TIMES met someone who changed you: uh, i think so??? idk, i kinda find my own flow in life and people either respect it and enjoy the ride with me or fight it, and i dont have the energy to deal with pointless shit found out who your true friends were: ooooh yeah found out someone was talking about you: humans talk, its natural. i dont really do anything but i can see why someone WOULD talk shit if thats what this is asking about kissed someone on your fb list: ew no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs, i like being warm shorter or taller: both have pros and cons romantic or spontaneous: both? both sensitive or loud: idk what the fuck this is asking about but if its about being around people who are loud or sensitive then neither, im sensitive to headaches so loud people irritate me and trigger the pain and ive had bad experiences in person with sensitive people where they dont leave me alone and wind up stalking me???? i love being alone so neither hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: one can be kinda fun but also a pain in the ass if they get you into trouble a lot and the other might not be as constantly fun per say but at least you shouldnt be in trouble as often 

first: best friend: Samantha surgery: thankfully nothing yet sport i joined: badminton  vacation: everything my parents did was while i was literally an infant soooooo yeah, greaaaaat memories

do you believe in: yourself: not all the time, but i rely on myself more than anyone else. i dont trust anyone for shit when i know damn well i can do it myself and know that if something goes wrong i myself fucked it up and can probably fix my mistake miracles: yes and no, i believe theres a reason for things to happen the way they do, and there are times i see it as miracles love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight, not immediately seeing someone soul or some shit heaven: im more for reincarnation and spiritual aspects in life and death

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: 90% of them do you have any pets: im not counting my outside pets because there are too many to even keep track of to count so my children are 5 cats, toto my conure, oz my dog, tubby my gecko, and a beta fish and a catfish do you want to change your name: if i ever did, which i dont want to do, it’d be either Celeste or Aurora (my mom actually debated on calling me aurora after like the disney princess if you will and funny enough shes always been my favorite princess) what did you do for your last birthday: 2 of my friends kidnapped me and took me to dinner and we drove around and looked at interesting things. this years its during ren faire and im so damn happy what time did you wake up today: 9 pm. im sick atm and its really fucking up my sleep schedule  what were you doing last night at midnight: just got out of a call with one of my best friends and sat on my own server for a bit chillin with my music bot before my other best friend joined my after like SIX HOURS, DAMN YOU SIMON something you can’t wait for: ren faire, getting married cause then i get to sweater slap someone and get away with it, and being comfortably happy in life last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago? i went to the kitchen to get my cat to love on her and saw her then what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i had more determination to see things through and not be scared to take the leaps to see it through have you ever talked to a person named tom: i worked in retail, so probably what’s getting on your nerves: a lot of things, mainly petty things. kinda wanna cut a toxic person out of my life but we all know thats easier said than done especially seeing how he talks to literally all of the people i talk with on a daily basis save one soul and he treated her like shit when he talked to her sooo yeah, dunno wtf is his problem but im tired of being the object of his frustration and anger, idk how the rest of my friends deal with his shit but im just so damn DONE

man im not taggin 25 people. if youd like to tag me as a “i found it from so and so” then go for it man, let youre dreams run free friend. im just a lazy sack of shit and am tired and im amazed im still up and that its TAKEN ME A MILLION DAMN YEARS TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY LEANNE

#my post #tagging meme