#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[ashintheairlikesnow]

i know where you’re writing in the timeline right now with the Jake and Kauri fight but... uhhhh can I get a Jake being protective as fuck set sometime in the timeline before that? Because I just. Protective Jake. He’s protective over Chris but Jake protective over kauri???? Need (like if u have time and aren’t too stressed lol)

CW: Recovering whumpee, abuse survivors, past pet whump, referenced dubcon attempts, touch starved whumpee, Jake makes a brief crude reference to metaphorical self-harm

“Jesus, man, take the fucking hint and fuck off.”

Jake’s voice wakes Kauri where he sleeps on the couch folded out into a bed, lying on his side with a pillow hugged close to his chest, buried under a pile of old quilts. Nat buys them from a church down the road that runs a daycare, Jake says, during their yearly Christmas market. A new one every year.

Kauri doesn’t really care where the quilts come from, but he loves the way Jake speaks to him, calm and quiet-voiced, never too long, never angry. He is disappointed by and loves the way that every time he tries to see if he can be grateful for Jake, he is gently pushed away - but then still held, after. 

The touch isn’t the same, but no one holds it back from him. No one leaves him alone in rooms. No one uses refusing him as a way to make him desperate, make him beg.

No one calls him names here, either.

“I’m not going to try and make him talk to me this time, Jake, I just-”

“What? Couldn’t fuck him up enough the first time, decided to come back for round two?”

Jake’s voice is rising. Even as his eyes open, Kauri can feel the woozy relief of the painkillers still moving through his veins, holding back the worst of the bandaged, slowly healing wound that throbs over his collarbone on one side. The doctor they made him see gave him shots, soothing him through his tears, but now the wound doesn’t hurt like it did before, it doesn’t feel hot to the touch, the look of it has changed.

Now it’s just pills. 

Kauri can handle pills.

He shifts, pushing a white-and-pink quilt off from over his head, black curls springing wildly to life as he slowly sits up. At the foot of the little makeshift bed, Keira hums, her sensors picking up his movement and change in heartbeat. She whirrs softly in greeting, her broken wheel clicking.

“Who-... who’s at the door?” He whispers. His heart races as Jake’s voice rises even more.

“Well, we’re all good on our bank accounts this week, so trust me - you can call Nat if you need to meet, but you’re not coming in. He’s not your goddamn knife to cut yourself with ‘cause you’re sad, asshole.”

Vincent Shield, Keira’s soft robotic voice intones, faintly metallic. 

Oh.

Kauri swallows, remembering the last time, meeting the eyes so like his own and then waking up with a pounding headache a few seconds later in Jake’s arms, being carried to lie down in a bed. He hasn’t seen Vince since.

He pulls his knees up to his chest, looking to the side, through the open doorway, knowing Jake and Vincent are just out of sight. The light from the small entryway spills into the living room, giving just enough light to see like if he only stepped through, he would be going... somewhere else. 

His end of the living room, through, is pitch-black darkness, lit only by Keira’s visual sensors, two red dots that give her the appearance of eyes. 

This time, he hears Vince speak. Melodic and fluid, a trained actor’s voice, deeper than it seems like it should be. Kauri knows all of this. It’s his own voice, if he’d lived a different life. A better one.

A life where he escaped Owen instead of loving him.

Kauri’s eyes close as he drops his forehead against his knees, tears building hot and demanding. He misses Owen so badly it hurts, right now, listening to the person Owen actually wanted, less than twenty feet away.

“That’s not fair, Jake.”

“No. It’s not. But that’s how it is. You can’t show up here at fucking midnight and act like you have some kind of goddamn kinship just because you feel guilty. Not only does he not want to see you, which he’s made real damn clear, but-”

“I just want to-”

“Shield, will you listen to me?”

There’s a thump, sound of rustling. Kauri raises his head, hands tightening on the quilt he still has pulled up over his feet. His arms twitch, muscles acting out a phantom race of electricity along his nerves. His collarbone throbs. His throat bobs as he swallows, feeling hands wrapped tightly around it.

I love you, Vince, so much, and you’ll never leave-... can’t leave if you’re dead, can’t, can’t leave me-

Kauri shudders, hearing his own voice pleading in a rasping whisper, begging for his life, on his back next to the coffee table, staring into Owen’s green eyes as black spots danced in and out of his vision.

At some point he’d stopped trying to say he wasn’t Vince. At some point he’d been begging for Vince’s life, laid like wet paper over his own, drying over his face, making him someone else. Someone he was always supposed to be. Someone he never was.

“Fucking Christ, Stanton, I have to work in two days-”

“That sounds like your problem. I’m telling you to leave Kauri alone, I’m not letting you into this fucking house. It’s not good for him.”

“I just want to-”

“Vince.” Jake’s voice drops, deadly soft. Kauri breathes in soft pants, trying to stay quiet enough not to be heard.

Kauri heartrate accelerate, Keira says softly. Adrenaline. Kauri afraid. Keira reassurance provide. Kauri safe. Kauri is good. 

“Keira, I-”

Kauri good.

“I know that you feel guilty.” Jake’s voice stays low. “I know how much it fucking hurts that someone’s out there who took the pain that was aimed at you. I know, okay? Trust me, I get it way better than you think I do. But your guilt will hurt him, and he needs to feel safe here. We can’t keep him safe if he’s scared you’ll show up. He’s already a runner, and he has to know he can leave whenever he wants-”

Kauri hitches in a harsher breath. 

I can leave whenever I want. I can leave whenever I want. I can-

“-and that we can keep him safe. Right now, I have to keep him safe from you, too. Got it?”

There’s a pause. “Jake. This only happened because of me, because I ran-”

“No.” The anger bleeds out of Jake’s voice. Kauri hears an edge of the compassion he speaks to the other runaways with, now. “Vince. They never do it because of anything you did, or didn’t do. They do it because of what’s inside them. That piece of shit never hurt Kauri because of you. He hurt Kauri because of what’s inside of him.”

“Guess you’re the goddamn expert.” 

Jake huffs nearly-silent laughter. Kauri still hears it, though. Some of his fear dissipates. The anger is gone, the danger is fading. “I am even more of an expert than you think I am. Go home, Vince.”

There’s another sound of movement. The door opens and closes. A car starts, sound of gravel, and headlights move past the windows as it drives away. 

There’s quiet, for a moment. The entryway light turns off. Kauri waits for the sound of Jake on the creaking stairs, but instead he sees the rough outline of him in the dark, peeking into the living room, blinking in surprise. “Kauri. That woke you up, huh?”

Kauri swallows, and slowly nods. 

Jake sighs, but he has a slight, reassuring smile on his face, and no anger. “Yeah. I should’ve guessed it would.” He moves into the room, eyeing Keira slightly warily. “Do you need anything, before you go back to sleep?”

Kauri’s heart is still beating too fast. The room is so empty, with Kauri in it alone. 

“Will you... watch TV with me? For a while?”

Jake sits down and shifts until his back is against the back of the couch, pushing a pillow behind him. He grabs the remote off the side table. “Absolutely man. Only TV, though.”

“Right. Only TV.” Kauri stays where he is, knees to his chest. Jake turns on a cartoon show about a family, and keeps the volume low. 

Kauri wakes up when the sun rises, only to find himself draped in the quilts to keep him warm, and Jake back upstairs. A glass of water left for Kauri to drink is the only sign he was ever there. 

---

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @astrobly @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump ,  @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @moose-teeth

#erase to control #whump #trauma recovery #jake the shelter guy #vincent shield is not a hero #past pet whump #referenced dubcon #attempts anyway #touch starved whumpee #ptsd tw #referenced abuse #abuse survivors

[thiswasinevitableid]

for mermay, 9 indruck nsfw?

Here you go! #9 was folklore, Indrid’s design is based on a blue-ring Octopus, and I borrowed from one of the Discord convos we had about mer Indrid recently.

Content note: there is implied transphobia/misgendering in the reason Duck ends up in the water.

Duck goes to the depths still protesting, hands and ankles bound in rope and dark water closing over his head. 

No amount of insisting he was the man he said he was or appealing to logic was enough; a woman aboard, even when he isn’t a woman, is bad luck and must be gotten rid off. So here he is, drowning for the sake of superstition, folklore and nonsense the reason his lungs scream in protest, denied air. 

Whoever said drowning was like falling asleep was a damn liar; he’s in agony, reduced to his most basic state of a creature that wants to stay alive and cursed with the knowledge that he won’t. He shuts his eyes, as if that might make it more dreamlike, and circles past him, he feels fingers on his cheek and then, and then....

Then he’s waking up, chest rising and falling with ease. No more than a nightmare, then, he’s still on the ship-

No, wait, his blanket is floating where he kicked it away. He’s alive, he’s in some sort of bedroom, and he’s fucking confused.

Voices float in under the door, a lilting one reaching him first, “...most stubborn set of legs I ever encountered. A kiss is supposed to be enough, yet while his body can survive in our realm, it insists on remaining like itself.”

“Indrid, his majesty is going to be unhappy when he finds out.”

“I am aware, Vincent. And if my brother finds a drowning man, he may rescue him or not as he sees fit. He does not get to dictate my conscious.”

“I mean, I think you did the right thing” A woman’s voice now, “but he’s still pretty angry at you for the whole giving me legs incident.”

“You wanted to see your beloved, and I am almost as fond of Aubrey as I am of you. A charm that allows you to go between worlds is hardly cause for such a fuss.”

“It was the no-voice thing that bothered him.”

A sigh, “Time and again I have reminded him that strong magic comes with a price. In your case it was easily paid, because Aubrey recognized you instantly and kissed you. As if I would send my own niece into a situation where she might be trapped.” The last sentence is muttered, like the speaker knows no one will listen.

“I know that. That’s why you're my favorite uncle.”

“I am your only uncle” the smile is audible, “and I am just glad the two of you will be married soon. Now if you will excuse me, my foresight tells me my guest is awake.”

A door opens and shuts, and a moment later the curtain of kelp at the end of the room parts. Duck’s never believed in mermaids (or mermen), but that’s what swims to him now, human face and torso giving way to eight silvery tentacles dotted with deep blue rings. They’re almost as striking as his face, his features sharp and alien, crowned with silver-white hair. 

“Hello” The mer smiles with sharp teeth, “How are you feeling?”

“Uh, not as confused as I could be on account of what I heard, but still tryin to work out why the fuck you saved me at all.”

“Three reasons: for starters, I dislike having corpses floating around the kingdom. I also do not see the point in having the power of foresight if I cannot use it to prevent suffering when possible. And finally I…” The calm smile on his face falters a moment, “I saw the moments that lead to your being thrown into the waves. You were condemned for being something you are not. I, ah, I could not let such an injustice come to pass.” His mask remakes itself, “and so here you are, Duck Newton.”

“And the kiss?” Duck raises his eyebrow.

“Ah, yes. If a mer kisses a dying human, that human will become a mer themselves. Except in your case, you have-”

“-Stubborn legs?”

A light laugh, “And here I thought I would be the one interrupting you. Yes, exactly. I have no idea why. I’m simply glad the magic worked well enough to help you breathe. There is a, ah, an issue however. My visions show that in your current state, you will not be able to survive on land.”

“But you said somethin about a charm to your, uh, niece?”

“That worked because it simply had to take her from mermaid to human; you’re stuck between forms in a way that, were I to apply the same approach to you it would end badly. As in accidentally turn you into a fish badly, at least in most timelines.”

“Huh” Duck worries the inside of his cheek with his tongue, “so I’m stuck here.”

“Indeed. I’m sorry.” Indrid sits on the foot of the bed, tentacles moving this way and that to fidget with the blankets, the bedposts, and the stray shells on the floor, “This has never happened before, and I did not mean to trap you in this way, I only meant to save you, to give you freedom.”

“That’s more than a lot of folks’ve tried to give me lately.” Tentatively, he touches the tentacle tip nearest him. It weaves between his fingers, the pressure from the suckers on the underside oddly pleasant. He rubs his thumb over a blue spot, which draws Indrid’s attention. His face goes pink and he pulls the tentacle back.

“Apologies, they have a mind of their own at times.”

“Don’t bother me. I, uh, I was just tryin to show you I ain’t mad. Feel a little adrift, but that’s a damn sight better then bein’ dead.”

“Adrift--OH, oh I see, you are going to say you do not know what to do now. The answer is heal; even though you are alive, your body and mind suffered before I saved you. You need rest and care, and I promise you shall want for neither. You are my honored guest, Duck Newton. My home is yours. I, ah, I would offer to let you leave the instant you are feeling able, but as you heard there are some issues with you being seen in this state.”

“Used to layin low.” Duck sighs, flopping back on the bed (or trying to, as he floats down onto the mattress instead).

“I gathered. If I had things my way, you would not need to do such things here. Alas, until my brother gets eaten by a shark, we may be dealing with this arrangement for some time” he gestures to the room, bathed in blues and greens as light filters down from the surface and in through the windows. Two tentacles gather the blanket, spreading it back up Duck’s body and smoothing it down. 

“Rest now, Duck Newton. In the morning I will have much to show you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Duck wakes up clawing at the water above the bed, heart beating fast enough he fears it might eject itself up his throat. 

The nightmares a fewer these last two days, but whenever they want to be done for good is fine by him. 

He gathers seaweed green robe Indrid gave him and makes his way out of the bedroom and down the hall. Indrid gave him a bracelet of cowrie shells that’s enchanted to let him walk without floating away. He’s a strong swimmer, but without a tail to aid him he tires quickly against the force of the water.

The merman’s house is huge, an attempt by the king to keep him happy without giving him any useful power. Most rooms are cluttered with etchings and drawings or items salvaged from wrecks or the shoreline. There are spare beds, but after the night where Duck awoke in a panic and could not calm down, where Indrid found him the next morning exhausted and shaking, the mer offered to sleep in the same room with him. Duck pointed out that it was technically Indrid’s bedroom anyway and he could sleep there if he wanted to. The mer dragged a variety of comfy pillows into the corner and declared he would be quite happy there. More than once Duck’s woken up first to see him sprawled out on the cushions, always clinging one against his chest. Duck wonders what would happen if he offered to take it’s place. He suspects he could  do so without issue. 

He’s no stranger to being admired, though the last time someone eyed him so approvingly he ran off to sea to avoid marrying them. Indrid’s red eyes contain the same desire but none of the entitlement. The merman’s been staring at him since that first day, though it’s only recently that he let’s Duck seem him doing so, after Duck caught his eye and stared right back. 

Teasing Indrid is more fun than he expected, because while the mer usually gives as good as he gets, some days he blushes and wiggles his tentacle tips under Ducks attention. Indrid is obviously high status and, in Duck’s view, the most captivating mer in the kingdom; making him go pinker than a virgin at a striptease from a little flirting is gratifying. 

His absolute favorite part of his new home, aside from Indrid, are the gardens at the center. Coral glistens and rainbows of fish flit across his path, sea flowers bloom and wave as he passes by. The best place to sit is in a massive clam shell with an excellent view of the grounds and the city beyond. It also happens to be Indrid’s preferred location to draw. 

The mer takes one look at him and extends a tentacle, guiding Duck down to nestle close to him. When they’re with arms reach, one hand leaves his drawing to pet Duck’s thigh soothingly. He tilts his head, intending to study the sketch and ask about it, but ends up with his head on Indrid’s shoulder, slipping back into sleep. 

“Oh dear.” Indrid murmurs, closing the book as a flurry of voices swim towards them. 

“So, the rumors are true; you’ve brought a human into our domain.”

“Good morning to you as well, dear brother.”

The king crosses his arms, glaring at them, “if you cannot provide a decent reason for your having him here, I will make exile him myself. Right now.” 

Indrid’s expression and voice remain calm, but one tentacle coils around Duck’s ankle and his hand clings to the loose trousers, “He, ah, he is, ah”

“I thought as much.” The king swims forward.

“Pet!” Indrid grins triumphantly, “he’s my pet. You keep saying you wish I would find a way to occupy my time and stay out of trouble, and here he is.” Indrid pulls Duck into his lap, patting his head with such exaggeration Duck has to stifle a laugh, “I have been so busy with him the last few weeks I’ve had little time for anything else. Isn’t that right, Vincent?”

Their friend nods, “Yes, your highness, the prince has found Du--, uh, the human most diverting.”

The king narrows his eyes, “Very well. The human may stay in that capacity.” With that, he swims from the gardens, trailed by his advisors. 

“I gotta start wearing a leash now?” Duck teases, realizing too late that he’d do so in an instant as long as Indrid was holding the other end. 

The blue of the rings deepens, “Not at all. Apologies for referring to you as my pet, but the timelines shifted so heavily in the direction of him casting you into the open sea that I panicked.”

“Aw, you lied to the kings face just for me. Must really like me.”

“I do! I, oh dear have I not made that clear?” Indrid gathers Duck’s hands between his own. 

“You have, I was just teasin you. I don’t mind playin your spoiled pet to get one over on him, provided you keep spoilin me.”

Indrid’s grin returns, “I’m certain I can manage that.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

“I hate it when he calls my bluffs.” Indrid glowers into the jeweled box just delivered to their doorstep. Right before Duck asks what’s wrong, the merman hands him a small piece of parchment. 

Prince Indrid, 

Included is a gift for your ‘pet,’ as you are apparently in need of it. It would be a shame for him to get lost, after all.

The note ends with the kings seal. Duck looks up as Indrid turns the box his way, revealing a collar studded with abalone shells and a leash woven from dark, sturdy seaweed. So many obscene images flood his mind it takes two tries before he can focus on Indrid’s words.

“...Thought I kept us clear of anyone who would bother to report us. I’m sure there’s a way around it, ruse aside you are my friend and equal and I will not ask you to humiliate yourself. Hmm, oh goodness, we will need to send word to Dani and Barclay that we cannot come to dinner to tonight, that’s not enough time to draw up a solution, though perhaps we can invite them here instead.” His tentacles trawl the ground as he paces the room.

“‘Drid?”

“Yes?” The mer stops, then his eyes widen, “you are serious?”

“Gotta let me offer first.” He replies with fond exasperation, “I fine with wearin it while we’re out. I know how you really feel about me and, uh, it, uh, makes me feel...safe?” It’s right on the border of a lie by omission, but he manages to get it out. 

“I see” Indrid swims casually towards him, as if that will distract Duck from the pink creeping up his cheeks, “in that case, may I put this on you, pet?”

“Uh huh.” Duck tilts his chin up, shuts his eyes with a happy sigh as Indrid latches the collar in place. The mer stays chest to chest with him, testing to be certain the collar is comfortable. 

“How is that?”

“Woof” Duck deadpans.

Indrid blinks, confused.

“It’s the noise a dog makes.”

Another blink.

“Y’know those things that are like sea lions but on four legs instead of flippers?”

“That’s what those are called. Fascinating.” Indrid loops the leash into place and Duck growls playfully. The mer pats his cheek, fingers lingering on his skin as he purrs, “good boy.”

-------------------------------------------------------

“Are you ready?” Indrid tips to vials of purple powder into a bowl, causing sweet smelling swirls of color to fill the room. 

“Yeah. Been ready for years.” Duck stands opposite from him, drumming his fingers nervously on the rim of the bowl. 

A week ago, Indrid asked in that blunt way of his if Duck wanted his human form to be different than it was. When he said yes, the mer immediately swam from the table and into the library to pull books from shelves. 

“It will take a few days to prepare; I am careful in all my spells but, well...well I suppose when it is you I am inclined to take even more care than usual.”

It’s not the spell that’s making his nerves bubble up his chest; it’s the component of it he has to contribute. A secret, a precious one, because powerful magic will not give something for nothing. 

“Whisper it into the foam.” Indrid gestures to the golden bubbles on the surface of the bowl. 

Duck keeps it short and sweet. Then blinding light surrounds him, pure white spiked through with pink and blue, and he collapses to the ground, unable to do anything but hold himself as the spell courses through him. When the colors fade and the room returns to view, it’s all he can do to make his legs stand. 

“How, ah, how do you feel?” Indrid taps his fingers together nervously, four of his tentacles following suite. 

“Like I got trampled by a horse and came out a new man.”

“Oh. Good.” The fidgeting intensifies. Duck can only think of one reason for that.

“‘Drid? Did, uh, did the spell mean you learned the secret?”

“Yes.”

“Does it bother you? What I said, I mean.”

“No.” 

A pulse of water, flourish of blue and silver, and Indrid’s lips find his. Arms and tentacles lift and hold him as they spin slowly across the room, the mer moaning when Duck drags his hands up his chest. He keeps kissing him as he speaks, mouth growing needier after every pause, “I, there were only a few timelines where you confessed your feelings for me and I, I wanted them so badly but I swore I would only act on your feelings if you used them in the spell, not simply because I saw futures where you might.” Tentacles slide under his shirt and up his pant-leg, “ohhhh, touching you in visions is nothing compared to feeling you for real.”

“Can feel me as much as you want, darlin. Got some things I wanna get my hands on too.” He tangles his fingers in Indrid’s hair, glides his mouth down to kiss his collarbone and tease a nipple with his tongue. 

“Oh my sweet little human, the things I am going to do to yo-”

The doorbell times and Indrid nearly drops him. 

“Damn it all, I forgot we were hosting game night.”

“Don’t worry ’Drid,” Duck pinches the base on one tentacle, “I ain’t goin anywhere, we can pick this up another time.”

----------------------------------------------------------

“I call that a success.” Indrid ushers Duck into the house. They’re returning from Aubrey and Dani’s engagement party (Indrid having provided Aubrey with a mer-charm of her own. As much as he loathes the idea, King Woodbridge has had to give the marriage his blessing; Dani is his only heir. If he disowns her, his throne passes to Indrid, a scenario he hates even more than a human/mer wedding. 

Duck wore his collar all evening in case one of the king’s toadies got it into their heads to tell on him. It also matches the clothing Indrid bought him exceedingly well, and he’s not ashamed he admired himself while passing the mirror. 

Indrid doffs his cloak as Duck closes the bedroom door, “You can remove that now my sweet.”

He leans against the carved driftwood, “And, uh, what if I don’t wanna?”

The mers hand pauses where it’s setting the leash on a table, “then I suggest you come here at once, pet.”

Not for the first time, Duck longs for a tail so he could speed through the water into Indrid’s arms. The mer is impatient as well, gives a wickedly charming grin as the lease whips out on it’s on to connect with the collar so he can yank Duck flush against him. 

“Better, but you are still not as I need you.” Keeping the leash wrapped around one hand, the other starts on the buttons of Duck’s shirt. The human tries to help, only for tentacles to trap his wrists together, “thoughtful, pet, but I do so enjoy unwrapping you myself.”

“‘Drid, pleaseplease hurry.”

“Manners, pet” A tentacle thwacks his ass just as two others pull his pants to the ground. 

“I said please” Duck laughs as Indrid nibbles his neck. 

“Is that sufficient for someone who spoils you as much as I?” Indrid flutters his eyelashes.

Duck bumps their noses together, “Please, ‘Drid, want you to fuck me, you take such good care of me, wanna take care of you right back, I’ll make you feel so good darlin please.”

“Much better”

His remaining clothing falls away. Out of habit, he moves to cover himself, only for his arms and legs to be pulled outwards, leaving him spread-eagle in Indrid’s hold. 

“Do not so much as think about hiding this perfect form from me, pet.” In the front folds between his tentacles, Indrid’s dick begins to emerge.

“Someone get off on admirin his handiwork?”

The smile softens, “I am admiring you, sweet one. You have the finest body I have ever laid eyes on; you did when we met, and you do now. I delight in holding it, touching it, these days I delight in seeing your comfort in your own skin.” A predatory glint returns to his eyes, “and of course, I like fucking you in it. In fact, that gives me an idea.”

Tentacles spin Duck in a half circle as Indrid swims to the mirror, meaning the human sees their reflections as the mer purrs in his ear, “I want you to see just how perfect you look on my cock, pet.”

“Jesusfuck, ‘Drid, yes” His own cock is hardening between his legs as small tendrils part and prod his ass; Indrid’s cock resembles a human one until it reaches it’s base, where the tendrils wait to push his partner further open or coax them to climax. They took some getting used to at first, cool and slick as the teased into Duck’s ass. Now he welcomes them, savors the tenderness with which they ready him. 

Indrid coos and purrs in his ear, chirping whenever his cock grinds between Duck’s cheeks. The hand not holding the leash caresses his face while the tentacles see to everything else. And he means everything

“Fuck!” One coils around his dick as another rubs gently at his balls. The first time they tried this they were cautious, unsure how human anatomy would respond to the pressure and suckers. In Duck’s case, the answer was “cum so hard and fast it takes them both by surprise.”  Indrid had taken one look at the cock with cum still beading at the head and swallowed it to the root, not relenting until Duck came a second time. 

“Ohhhnnnyes” The head of Indrid’s cock presses into him, “oh I never tire of how you feel, pet. So warm and welcoming for you, ah” he whispers in Duck’s ear, “master”

“‘Drid you, you keep that up I’m gonna cum any second.”

“Not before I show you something important. Look” Indrid forces his head forward with the collar. His reflection writhes and bounces eagerly on a cock he can’t see but can definitely feel, lips parted in a prolonged moan as Indrid lays claim to every inch of him. 

“My perfect, handsome pet, letting me play with him as I see fit.”

“Damn rightAHfuck, I’m close, if you twist like that again I’m gonna-”

“Cum” Indrid orders. Duck obeys, spilling into the water with a groan of thanks. The mer waists no time, traps him in place with his tentacles so can fuck him hard and fast, one hand tugging the collar and the other fisted in his hair, “oh yes, yes pet, just a little more, you can take a little more, you must, because you are my spoiled little treasure and I can cum in you whenever I please.”

“Fuuck” Duck turns his head for a messy kiss as the mer empties into him with a muffled trill. 

One by one, the tentacles relax, Duck’s feet gradually meeting the floor as Indrid trails kisses down his spine. 

“Goodness, whatever did I do to deserve you, Duck Newton?”

“Save my life?” Duck turns, gathering the mer into a hug.

“I did that because it was the right thing.”

“You’re right. Hmmmm” he peppers Indrid’s face with kisses, “must be because you’re so damn perfect.”

Indrid hums happily as Duck maneuvers them into bed, “I doubt that’s it, but I am too tired to argue.”

Duck lays down beside him, looping his leg over Indrid’s waist as tentacle twines around his ankle. Maybe one day it will cling to his fins instead, but he’s not all that worried about that now. However he ends up, as long as he’s with Indrid, he knows life will be perfect. 

#Indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #mermay #mermay fills

[chidoroki]

The Promised Neverland S2EP7

aka: lucky #7 but no walls? ah..

Oh! They added Norman at the very beginning of the OP too, where you see the shadows running. At least, I assume that’s him.. did I miss that last week? Probably.

You know, all Emma has to do to prevent Norman’s extinction plan is to rage flip the table. It’ll cause both bottles of poison to shatter and earn her a plentiful amount of praise from me.

I don’t know why I like this shot of Norman’s reflection on the broken table so much but I do.. kind of like he’s broken too deep down.

“They’re definitely an uncertain and dangerous element to our plan. We have to find and kill them.” Oh, boy, you’re gonna wish you hadn’t said that.

Please anime, just have Emma throw the briefcase containing the poisons across the room.

Also, this shot of Norman sitting on the arm of the couch is good. I know the manga had him doing the same too during this conversation, but how the anime has him facing away from not only Emma & Ray but the light as well, causing his face to be covered in darkness is great.

Excuse me..? Norman, why do you also have a pen?

So the escape route at D100 was destroyed by the farms already?

Well yeah, Grace Field House holds an escape route, but so do the other farms, but I guess we don’t care about them right now.

Ohh Ray, that smirk of yours as “Existence of an Insider” kicked in was fantastic!

“If we chose our path based on certainty, we never would have escaped.” “And, as a result, I was shipped out.” Dude! That was your choice though?? Hello??

Damn, Norman acting so cold right now but I love seeing Ray get angry at him too. This might just be me, but I feel like they included Ray a little bit more during this entire scene, which I, of course, appreciate.

Yo, boss even slipped his hand out of Emma’s grasp.. also, no hug huh?

Not even a second later and Emma flips back to her usual optimistic self, completely unfazed as if nothing happened to make a deal with him. Have I said how much I love her yet?

Again, I love how this scene constantly has Norman’s face in the shadows.

Pfft, their little bickering about how many days he’ll give them both to find Sonju & Mujika.

Well, I guess this guarantees that The Seven Walls arc ain’t happening.. damn it!

ZAZIE!! ... AH why the fuck is your voice so low?? You’re 5!

Vincent makes Norman look so short, I can’t get over it.

Oh Barbara, that rage!

I kinda liked how the scene shifted in and out of focus as she was crying though.

“GF House” again.. but are we not gonna get the iconic “I will gladly become a god or a devil,” panel? Hmm, I guess it makes sense? I mean, Emma didn’t call him a god towards the end of their conversation so the anime wouldn’t have any reason to include it, but whatever. Still a shame.

“You’re going to go look for Sonju & Mujika? And in just five days?” “Is it reckless?” “Obviously!” Aw I love these kids, and Emma’s smile was so cute.

Ray, why you always gotta be leaning up against a wall?

I loved the shocked expression on Emma’s faces after Ray’s “she’s crazy” comment!

Don you’re such a good boy.

Aww the hug between Emma and Gilda though was cute.

I was so caught up in all the children’s chatter that I didn’t notice “Emma’s Determination” at first.

Oh! Emma is inviting Gilda to search with them!

And Ray invited Don too! Good! As it should be!

Of course we’re missing Ayshe completely, but ya know, the anime has been crushing all our hopes and dreams this season so that was to be expected.. damn it all! I can’t believe only 4 outta my top ten favorites are animated, how sad.

Wait! That little head bump between the girls was fucking adorable!!!

Oooh Norman’s seizure! So he was tested on during this timeline too.

Ah he coughed up blood! That’s from ch145!

Okay why are we getting a flashback from his shipment? I was doing so well with not getting emotional this episode, am I gonna fail right at the end? With “Isabella’s Lullaby” playing too?

Oh! Are we finally getting a glimpse at ch74?

“Good evening. It’s nice to meet you, Norman.” Shit, here he comes! Bastard #3 spoke words!

Makes me wonder though, if T7W isn’t animated, are we not gonna see the one true bastard either?  Yeah I despise him completely due to manga events, but then I have no idea how the children are gonna escape this world.. or how this season will end. It keeps me intrigued, I’ll admit that much.

#the promised neverland #episode reaction

[veloxaraptor]

Long Time Coming

I’ve kept my mouth shut on this for a very long time. 

Last year I cut ties with an incredibly toxic player in the FFXIV community. Most of you know them as either Yosei Ittetsu or Vincent Arius.

Sometime around the end of September/beginning of October I ended a long running RP Ship with the player and quit his FC. This came after months of gas lighting, lying, manipulation, and just down right being used.

I’d spent some time getting to know them and their RL Partner so as to get the blessing to ship our characters together as Koa’s (the name the player goes by) partner didn’t feel comfortable with them shipping with anyone but themselves. 

I later learned that once I got the approval to ship with Koa, that they then went behind my back and their partner’s back and attempted to ship with other people under the guise of “I’ve been allowed to multi ship”. The timeline for that was around Mayish of 2019.

Throughout the tenure of our friendship and RP, Koa insisted OOCly that their partner was abusive and controlling. Something I have come to doubt. A partner feeling uncomfortable with their SO shipping/ERPing with other people isn’t all that uncommon or unreasonable. 

That being said, Koa would share screenshots with myself and others of fights they would have with their partner, carefully cropped to show certain parts of the fight that would cast their partner in the worst light. So naturally, we believed him.

So other friends and I agreed to help Koa ship/ERP in secret because we wanted to find a way to give them autonomy over themself. I regret this. Not only because it was incredibly disrespectful to a RL relationship, but because of the hurt it eventually caused other people later on.

This is going to get wordy, so please bear with me as I place the rest under a read me.

Koa and I agreed to a poly ship. One that would include myself, their RL partner’s character, and a third--my friend Noise. The agreement with the ship was that Tegah, Gan, and Noise would all be a “Table” poly setting and each could have extraneous partners if--and only if--we were comfortable with it OOC and our characters were comfortable with it IC. Meaning, there needed to be communication. This agreement extended only to the three as Koa stressed that they were only shipping with their RL partner to keep OOC peace and because they felt obligated to.

Very quickly things became very odd. I say that because often times Koa would wait until I needed to go to bed, and/or their RL partner would be at work (they worked nights) to initiate ship or ERP related RP. And if I was around for any of that RP, I was always shoved to the side and made to feel more like an accessory than an actual RP partner.

I tried several times to address this with Koa only to be gaslit and told that he was the one always feeling left out because he had to work around the confines of his “Abusive” RL partner and because Gan and Noise had a more in-depth story driven background with one another and knew each other better than Yosei and Noise knew each other.

My complaints would be invalidated and I’d always end up trying to help Koa find ways to solve their issues. Only for the circle to repeat itself.

Twice my character Gan found external partners. Both times I made sure going forward that both Koa and Noise were okay with it. And I was given their blessings. Both times, Koa attempted to insert their character into the relationship and sleep with the partner. The first one was successful. The second time not so much.

As time progressed, it became more and more clear that Koa’s main focus was drawing attention to themself and ERP. Mostly the latter if I’m being honest. Every time I turned around, I was learning of a new character that Yosei was gunning for and trying to sleep with. And it was always played off as a joke until it actually happened.

At some point one of the infatuations turned into another possible ship partner for the group. This is where Batu, one of my dearest friends comes in to the story. Koa had been selling Batu to Noise and I under the understanding that Batu was happy to simply be a fling/fuck buddy for the group. Meanwhile, he was selling to Batu the story that the group was looking for a 4th member. All the while neglecting to explain the truth to Batu as to how the ship worked despite him asking IC and OOC.

One very awkward night of RP where Gan brought over her side partner and Koa made many pointed comments about how we should all have an Orgy. (Which their RL partner asked about and Koa flat out lied to them). Batu learned how the ship worked on and IC and OOC level and had revealed that he’d been lied to the entire time. Or at the very least, misled.

So Batu decided to leave the group on an IC basis. Naturally, feelings were hurt OOC. And very much so IC as Gan and Batu had begun to fall for one another, and Noise and Batu were starting to grow close.

During this period of time, Batu ICly went to the Steppes to deal with the loss. Tegah/Yosei’s solution was to “fuck away the sad”. Because... yeah. 

At this time an FC member had their character go check on Batu and inform him of some RP stuff that had left Gan unwell. Batu returned and relationships were able to be repaired between Batu, Gan, and Noise. Batu expressed OOC that there was no desire to attempt with Koa again as he’d left feeling very used IC and OOC.

Naturally the characters did run into one another and it ended in conflict at which point Koa decided to metagame. He chose that moment to decide that it was his character that sent our FC member after Batu. There’d been no discussion over the course of the two weeks that all this had happened. Koa had just decided on the spot, something that was verified by the FC member.

When called out, Koa lied about meta-gaming. We even offered up logs to which he still lied and denied, saying they’d been talking about it for a while. Our FC member firmly refutes this and gave us logs to support. 

At that point, after months of being pushed to the side for other RP’s, gaslit regarding my issues, lied to, etc, I decided to end my RP partnership with Koa. I offered to stay around for the FC as I was the one running events and pushing for things to happen. But the day after that decision, Koa decided that we’d been leading the FC in the wrong direction (Despite being the one to tell us to go in that RP route) and that he wasn’t happy with how things were going.

Admittedly, I took this as a stab at me. Because I was the one running events, the one trying to keep things active for our FC members, and had suggested stepping back from Suisei Ramen the first time as there would be no way to balance it, FC RP, and personal RP all at once. It was then that I closed the book on all ties with Koa. I wanted nothing to do with them IC or OOC. He was immediately blocked from all my social media accounts and all websites I’d hosted on behalf of him and his FC were handed over.

This is where things become most important. Months after the fact, Koa openly admitted in a google doc he was spreading around in an attempt to defame me, that he’d been stalking my accounts either personally or through mutuals looking for anything he could use against me. 

I--in my naivety--had kept my mouth shut for the most part in the hopes that we could end things amicably and just move on. Almost a year later and I’m making this post because I’m still being harassed by Koa.

Since October of 2019, Koa has attempted to stir the pot time and again. Trying to oust me from RP communities. defame me, accuse me of plagiarism. (Most of this was while knowing I was heavily pregnant IRL and under a lot of stress) As recently as July 5, 2020, this person has been trying to cause issues. On the date mentioned, he attempted to insert himself into RP with Noise and I. Both of us have expressly stated we want nothing to do with him and want him to leave us alone and knowing that, still tried to put himself in our small group of RP.

Since leaving Koa, a lot of things have come to light. First and foremost, he was badmouthing me to my closest friends. Insisting I had an OOC affair going with a ship partner of mine. I’m married IRL. Koa knew this. And knowing this, attempted to spread that lie to push people away from me. Specifically, my friend Batu who was the one he told this to.

He blamed Batu’s IC/OOC departure on me, because I was uncomfortable with a concept he was trying to push for the second time. The concept being to have his character Yosei/Tegah gender swap to a woman and sleep with Gan’s partner. The first time it occurred was with a side relationship Gan had with another player. Koa wanted to have their character gender swap, sleep with Gan’s partner without the character knowing and possibly get pregnant. When asked about my opinion, I expressed that I wasn’t all that thrilled with it and that Gan would be angry/jealous. To which he insisted I was wrong and that Gan would find it funny.

The second instance was because Batu had more interest in Gan than Tegah/Yosei. At which point Koa decided it would be fun to try and force a race between his character and Gan as to who would have our ship partner Noise’s children first, knowing that there was a plot point set up for when that would inevitably happen. Again he adamantly stated that Gan wouldn’t be upset and find it funny, and that if she didn’t want it to happen she should just get pregnant back to back with each partner’s children. (At this time she was supposed to be pregnant with Yosei/Tegah’s baby. A fact that I later retconned.)

Koa continually went behind mine and all our ship partners backs to ERP with other characters. Ship with other characters. Shit talk me, and other people. When he’d be denied ERP, he’d turn and try to convince people that the person in question was actually after HIM for ERP and not the other way around.

Many people have come forward to me with information regarding his behavior. Unfortunately I don’t have permission to share their stories as they’ve asked to be left out of any public call outs. 

All I can safely share are these logs here

Koa/Yosei/Tegah/Vincent Arius is nothing more than a toxic individual obsessed with ERP, Attention, and playing victim as much as possible. Almost a year later and he is still harassing me, blaming me when things go wrong, defaming, and causing me drama. I’ve had enough. If even ONE person finds comfort in knowing they aren’t the only one he’s caused problems for, then it’ll be worth it.

And as always, I’m more than happy to answer any questions regarding this post that people might have. I’d love to share more logs and screencaps, but I do respect people’s privacy and I still don’t want to shit on their RL relationship any more than revealing this stuff will do.

#call out #toxic person #I've held my tongue for far too long

[rainbowserenity]

I finished the FF7 Remake, and oh boy do I have THOUGHTS!!!! It’s been like an hour and a half and I’m still riding that high omg

if this was just the first part, I can only imagine how the rest of the game’s gonna go...

Anyway, rambly thoughts under this beautiful screenshot of Tifa I took:

- This game was seriously SO FUN???? I honestly can’t remember the last time I had so much FUN with a game...they really did so well with all the gameplay mechanics and having a good balance of everything, so A++++ for that!

- They weren’t kidding when they said this would basically be a ~full~ game on its own, despite only being the first episode....I got close to 50 hours of gameply (although a lot of it was just me farting around doing nothing lmao) and nothing felt like it was lacking :D

- I really liked (most) of the new VAs! I was kinda worried about Barrett in the trailers, but he came through for me lolol even the NPCs sounded awesome!

- We all know Don Corneo’s a pig, but I actually really enjoyed his scenes because his VA was clearly having so much fun with it ahaha~ And I LOVE that they kept in the “I’ll cut them off/smash them/rip them off” lines pffft. Too classic!

- I LOOOOVE all the stuff they elaborated on....it was nice to see more of Midgar and hang out with the AVALANCHE nerds. I remember not really giving much of a fuck when they died in the OG, but I was full on sobbing at Jessie’s death scene in this game a;lskjf;laiwjef

- I thought the battle with Rude was kinda clever, that he wouldn’t really hurt Aerith but just kept putting her to sleep when you switched over to her...so RUDE hahahaha B)

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO SEE CAIT SITH???!!! It makes me wonder if they’re gonna have a different way of introducing him, or if he’s gonna have a different sort of role...maybe Reeve will finally tell us how he operates a robot cat with a Scottish accent

- I loved the little details in the animation, like how when you climbed all the stairs in the Shinra building (because of course I did that lmao), Cloud gradually got slower and slower...or how when you controlled Tifa, she was naturally faster. And how Barrett sort of ‘limped’ when he climbed the ladders cause he just has one hand......I love tiny details and effort like that ahhh it warms my cold black heart!!!

- speaking of which, if you watch Red XIII pull the levers....you can kind of see how he’ll be able to pull off the sailor suit later on lmao I love him

- WALL MARKET!!!!!!! Definitely my favorite chapter omg alskdjflaiwejf The dance sequences were PERFECT!!! When did Cloud learn to dance?! I can’t wait to go back and replay that chapter lmao

- AERITH SMACKING THE GRUNTS AROUND WITH A CHAIR ADDED TEN YEARS TO MY LIFE

- So much of the game gave me XIII trilogy vibes....a lot of it was the music, but the gameplay and some bosses made me feel it too :D

- Am I crazy.......or were practically all the scenes with Sephiroth amazingly gay??? like idk if it’s just Hoech doing that, but........damn

- I officially ship Cloud/Tifa/Aerith as an OT3, but Tifa/Aerith were so cute and gay ahhhhhhhh~ Even if you don’t have shipper goggles, they did amazing at really elaborating their friendship!

- Honestly, all of the relationships between everybody were SO well done without it seeming like they were trying too hard. It felt so natural and easy, even between the NPCs, A++++ to the writers

- Battle-wise, I liked playing as Tifa the best, mostly because I typically enjoy using speedy characters. I actually liked playing as Aerith the least, even though I also enjoy using mages...Barrett took some getting used to, but he grew on me. And of course Cloud was lovely~ It’ll be interesting playing as Red eventually, I think he’ll be really fun to control

- I wonder if Yuffie’s eventual appearance will be handled differently, because they really kept emphasizing the whole “AVALANCHE IS WORKING WITH WUTAI!!!!!!!!” angle....and I doubt Yuffie will be an optional party member, so there might be some more story stuff there. I bet with Vincent they’ll just make waking him up mandatory lmao

- Going back to Wall Market....am I crazy, or was Chocobo Sam the only possible straight one of the trio 8D Madam M was clearly pansexual, don’t @ me

- AERITH SAID SHIT

- tbh I’m still trying to wrap my head around the ending, so there may be rambly tags in gifsets eventually, but....

- ZACK???????????????????? EXCUSE ME I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO SEE MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YA’LL SHOULD’VE HEARD THE NOISES I MADE A;SLKDJF;ALWIEJF;ALWIEJF;ALWIJEF;LAWIJEF

- AND THAT “I’LL GO GET KUNSEL” LINE????? EXCUSE ME???????????????????????????????????????? WHY WOULD THEY PLAY MY HEART LIKE THAT?????????????????????????

- ........................................................I don’t much care for Zack’s new VA :(

- Though I think I’m just biased because Rick Gomez was PERFECT and always how I pictured Zack’s voice....this new one just doesn’t quite do it for me and that makes me sad :( - BUT HE’S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZACK EXIST AND MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- seriously, how was it possible for him to get MORE beautiful???!!!?? I’m gonna cry just thinking about it rip

- I was talking to a friend about the ending, and she had what I think is a good theory that the Whispers have seen things play out before and this is just a reoccurring timeline. It would explain why Cloud had visions of Aerith praying for Holy, why Tifa saw Meteor, how they saw Red running around in the future... (plus, this was sort of the plot of Type-0, so it wouldn’t be the first time it’s been done lol)

- tbh though, I’m not sure how the possibility of Zack not going to Hawaii will play into things. Cloud’s cocky personality is a result of his trauma from Zack’s trip to Hawaii....so if that happened differently....

- Maybe Asshole Hojo picked Zack up??? Because he did seem to know who Cloud was and was all interested in furthering his ~experiments~ so it’s entirely possibly he’s a dick and has Zack locked up somewhere again....

- OR maybe Zack’s just in hiding and that’s what the “I’LL GO GET KUNSEL” line was all about, since Kunsel knows all?? IDK MY HEAD HURTS

- That being said, I need to think about things more and as I mentioned, there may be rambles in my tags in the coming weeks ahaha~

OVERALL, this game was a BLAST!!!! I loved it so much, and like I said, I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun playing something. 10000000000/10, highly recommended to the world and I can’t wait for the next part!

#final fantasy vii #ffviir spoilers #i mean under the cut but yeah #I JUST........... #DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL ANYMORE #EVERYTHING IS FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!! #AND SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! #my tears though #the sobbing #the stupid noises #a;lskdjf;aliwjef;lwije #SOMEONE HOLD ME #WE'LL GET HAZMAT SUITS AND HUG #AHHHHHHHHHHH

[armada-of-ships-against-antis]

Gush about some of your favorite ships please

Sorry for the long wait, but I think I might be ready for this now. (and before anybody wonders, of course it is in the middle of the night and I should go to bed now! Cause it’s the best time to gush over your ships!)

Okay lets begin with Spirk - man I was raised being a Trekkie and to be honest I never saw the great appeal of Kirk, cause my fucking younger than 10 year old heart already belonged to that vulcan! And I bailed my eyes out when he died! But after Kirk and the crew did everything to bring him back, I was like: Okay Kirk is a good one, okay! Nobody will ever be able to seperate them, only over my dead body. Back then it was more about the friendship but I’ll be dammned if I didn’t become a Spirk shipper some 10 years later when rewatching it. But why stop there, get Bones into the fun, too! Try to provoke that human side of Spock, trigger some unlogical feelings, try to beat him in 3d chess!

Okay bear with me there are three other Star Trek ships I wanna gush about!  I pretty much watched the series in the order they came out, so next was TNG that I saw, and although I loved data to every bit and byte of his android being, I was at a loss for a love interest for him. Okay there is always Geordie I guess or Picard, but TNG never hold a deep appeal for me in that field. So on to DS9. When I saw it as a kid, is was boring shit with all that politics and religion. I was around 18 when I rewatched and then in only the fourth episode I became suddenly aware of how motherfucking much Garak flirted with Julian Bashir! And I fell so deeply in love for their weird dynamic of a young and easily impressible human doctor with a mysterious cardassian spy tailor. I ran around showing scenes with them to people who were not shippers and they agreed, that there was tension. And right there was my first time finding background informations about my ship. It was there! I didn’t just interpret too much!  Andrew Robinson, the actor said himself he thought of Elim Garak as an omnisexual character who had a certain interest in Julian. It was absolutely mindblowing to me (also I started to google what omnisexual meant and found about pansexuality, so this is kinda part of finding my own identity, thanks to the closeted representation of a queer alien in sci-fi show from the 90s)

Okay two more and I’m done with Star Trek. But both are from Voyager. Throughout the series I loved the chemistry between Janeway and Chakotay. The slightly forbidden, the pressure, the loneliness of being captain of a ship so far away she probably would never see her husband again. Tragic shit and so perfect set up.  And then came Seven of Nine and manged to shake things up. Suddenly I was a multi shipper, because I couldn’t decide if she or Chakotay should be with Kathryn. The one was loving, supporting and the other was awkward, learning new things about finding humanity again. One was frowned upon because of their ranks and the other because Seven was still more borg than human in how she behaved. So pretty cold, while also confused a ton of times and Janeway ALWAYS had the time and nerves to explain it to her. Just like the doctor (who speaking between us is also a solid shipping option for Seven!)

Damn I tricked you by forgetting myself, that I did develop a shipping crush on Q x Picard. Damn have you ever seen those two interacting. The cockiness in the room, the mocking tone, the resistance. Have you seen those scenes you could perfectly take out of context and already have a “morning after sex” scenario?

Good now let’s take a deep breath and come to the Harry Potter fandom. Or in my case Severus Snape’s playground to be shipped to literally everybody! If it had Snape in it, I would read Everything during that time. Snarry was my most favourite, followed by Snape x Lucius, Remus, Sirius. But I also was looking into x Hermione, Draco, Lily, James, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Ron, Neville (Oh what a small and angsty ship), Bellatrix, Voldemort, Narcissa, Tonks, hell I even read one with Hagrid! (Okay I admit I didn’t enjoy that). Snape was my shipping bitch. Beside that I was of course loving Sirius x Remus.

Okay we move a tiny bit backwards in my life timeline, because before I started to excessively ship my ship bitch with everybody that was breathing, I had a rare ship in Final Fantasy (VII to be more precisely). Hojo x Vincent. You know just your ordinary crazy, mentally instable old (as in probably 60 years old) mad scientist having his way with a young agent from a special task force who canonly had a love interest in his wife… yeah. You know the totally normal stuff you ship every day!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

I mean I also had the regular Cloud x Sephiroth, Cid x Vincent, Cloud x Tifa, Tifa x Aeris, Reno x Rude or Rufus and so on, but hell yeah I wrote one of my longest fanfictions with most of my OCs for Hojo and Vincent and someone commented on it. That person became my fucking best friend for now over 13 years who went with me through so much shit but is still my shipping partner in crime till now.

Together we discovered the movie Megamind and watched it more than 10 times in one week! We were so instantly on board with Megamind x Roxanne that it nearly hurt. And when we started an rpg, we shipped the fuck out of them, gave Minion a mermaid to love and that was the most perfect and sweet shit. They are just adorable! He’s such a goofball, sick with love only hold back because of his supervillain image.

I also met my second girlfriend via fanfiction comment. I had written a smut one shot about Tarrant Hightopp, the mad Hatter with ‘his’ Alice. That was also the first one I attempted to translate into English. When we met for the first time, we also watched Alice in Wonderland around 10 times together and we were in love with the lovely dynamic. We were frustrated when we found out, there was even a kiss in the script that never made it to the fucking screen! It was outrageous! I started to learn how to write a scottish accent and strew in some scottish words in our rpg to make it more authentic.

(And after that I managed to pull her into the pit of the Harry Potter fandom, hell I even pulled her into the pit of shipping mlm which she didn’t like until Snupin. But our main ship was suddenly Snape with her OC and we wrote a lot. Like between 2-8k word for one single post in our rpg! In the end we had enough to fill two books. We did even cosplay as them.)

Let’s get back to the Final Fantasy fandom a bit and let me gush over the other ships I had over the years. I’m still a huge Squall x Quistis shipper from part 8 and Laguna x Kiros! I also have an eye on Cifer x Fu-Jin (hah one eye, cause she has a an eyepatch, urgh I know that was a bad joke). And while I started as a big Auron x Tidus shipper, it shifted more to Auron x Rikku. I shipped them when I was about 15 (her age) and I thought I wasn’t allowed to do that, so I made a whole fucking AU where she was older and it developed into a totally original story of my own, which I have never ever written down even one page). With X-2 I satisfied myself with Paine x Rikku, they were such cute opposites of each other, I couldn’t resist! Only some years ago I played FF 15 and damn it was a shipping paradise again for me. Like all of the four protagonists are a match for each other! And then Ardyn appeared and made me weak in the knees. So Ardyn x Noctis but also just because those the truly most favorite characters: Ardyn x Ignis. Not exactly the fluffy happy stuff, I can tell you that. Manipulation, angst, abuse it had it all.

I can’t talk about Final Fantasy and leave Kingdom Hearts out, so yeah I started as a typical Sora x Riku (not Rikku from FF 10) fangirl and with part 2 I also feel for Axel x Roxas. I know, I know but at least with Organisation 13 you had a whole bunch of shippable characters. Just make one or two of them your shipping bitch, in my case Xemnas and Xigbar and ship the shit out those guys with everybody you can think of in the organisation.

And when we are already talking about Kingdom Hearts, I just jump into Disney a bit. Like every girls dream was to find their prince, ect and I was like: yeah Mulan and Shan Yu seem to fit nicely… Frollo is a fucking ass creep, but damn that scene in the cathedral when he sniffs Esmeraldas hair… Jasemine you look good in that red slave outfit for Jafar to be honest and dear Adam, you should have stayed a beast for Belle. Happy ruining your childhood. You’re welcome. :D Not that I shiped those during seeing those movies the first time, but you know I rewatch stuff!

Good okay let’s check the watch… good 1 hour later…. I’m not gonna finish this any time soon…. I’m sorry. I just tried to make a list of ships that seem important to me and I would probably write another hour or two. I just hope this satisfies you for the moment ;)

If you or anybody else wants to hear about more video game, movies or series ships and me writing an essay about that shit… feel free to ask I guess LMAO

Good Night dear people (or maybe not I see 15 messages on my dash)

#ask me #armada #too many fucking fandoms to tag!!

[densoro]

so @ie9999​ asked me ages ago to post info about my OCs and I just realized I’m finally on a laptop so I have a keyboard enough to do that!

Densoro is a long while in the making. I came up with him when I was 11 and for a while he was just the magic/superpower mule for a hyperactive teenage Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy/Legend of Zelda fan. Changed every few months to accommodate some new complete misunderstanding of the laws of physics.

The current draft, tho, is a member of the town guard. In his world, magic is common and everybody is born aligned to one element. However, rarely, people are born unaligned. Such people have no bodily pigment, no capacity for magic, difficulty understanding emotion, and experience colorblindness. The lack of pigment lowers their tolerance to extreme weather conditions, and Densoro overcompensates for his lack of magic by excessively sword training.

His world also has three alternate realities layered one on top another. His father once created a sword, using a special ore which is constantly moving like a lava flow, frozen into form. When stabbed into the ground, it opens a portal, enabling travel between the three. This discovery became a regular fact of life. However, his father tried to use the superior quality of the blade to subjugate the people of the new land he arrived in. He terrorized them for years before he was finally killed. He and his sword came to be known as Vandal.

Years later, as Densoro neared adulthood, a man wielding Vandal attacked Densoro’s town. The town guard managed to repel him, but Densoro began to question the nature of the attacks. Long story short, he uses sword training as a way to understand the lessons handed down by other people, and to eventually understand their feelings. His story is not so much focused around defeating the Vandal, as much as about becoming the kind of person who knows what he’s defending and how.

Arvyria hails from a small, unnamed territory nestled between Sweden and Norway in the early 1300s. One day, she wakes up and her entire town has vanished -- not in the sense that it was razed to the ground, but more that it seems to have never existed. She struggles to make it to civilization, steals a weapon and a few ill-fitted pieces of armor.

Around the same time, people are reporting attacks by fae or demons, some variety of monsters roaming the countryside. Arvyria finds a gauntlet which seems to be able to suck the life out of these monsters, and begins asking around to see if anybody understands how these events are connected. 

Her character vastly changes depending on which weapon she steals, who she meets, and which creatures she vanquishes, in a branching story with several routes.

Reina is one of the people Arvyria can meet. One side of her face is covered in thick, diagonal scars like claw marks framing one white eye. She’s been traveling for months with her 16 year old cousin Vincent. She ran away from her family’s home after Vincent’s father and her abusive husband killed each other. Vincent followed, believing he had a duty to keep her safe from other violent men. Reina suspects this and doesn’t know how to explain to him how sick she is of men in her family risking their lives when she can take care of herself.

The both of them have the ability to see that magic on Earth is a sort of gaseous fluid that surrounds us like an atmosphere. Much like moving underwater, this fluid echoes off our motions in waves and ripples. This allows them to do superhuman feats, but also keeps them up at night because their dreams have been replaced by the ability to watch these waves ebb and flow off everybody’s actions. In places infested by monsters, though, this flow is frozen in place. Because of this and various other stressors -- including their personal situation -- they’re prone to night terrors which cause them to thrash about. Given their abilities, this makes them a danger to entire cities. Reina’s screams alone can fell redwoods.

Depending on how Arvyria’s relationship with Reina develops, Reina may figure out how to explain the motion of magic to her and turn her into another sleepwalker. Also they fall in so much bi lady love and I ship it so hard tbh

Rowen is another potentially crucial figure in Arvyria’s life. He claims to understand the cause of the frozen atmosphere and the monster attacks. He’s a fervent Christian who believes that these creatures were created by a man -- and that the creation of ‘life’ is an affront to God. He’s dedicated himself to mastering the two-handed sword so that he can fight these creatures off, and he has high, uncompromising expectations of all his allies in this endeavor.

If Arvyria is bad enough at using the sword she stole a week ago, she’ll get badly injured in battle, and Rowen will demand that she meet with him for sword lessons as soon as she’s able to move again. He believes he can’t allow her to be a weakness in their cause.

Arvyria as influenced by Reina is a softer, more worldly sort of person. She’s less shy, more able to open up to other people. Reina brings her out of her shell and teaches her to move with magic. On the other hand, Arvyria as trained by Rowen is even more stiff and businesslike than before, downright militaristic, and is a much more disciplined sword-wielder.

(spoilers there’s also a third ending where shit goes all kinds of fucked up and the same force that created the monsters creates Densoro’s entire world lolol)

Alex Blake is a college student in Anchorage, Alaska, living in present day. However, in her timeline, the world’s been stuck in winter for three years straight. The snow basically never stops. In addition, violent crime rates have climbed exponentially and millions of people have gone missing during the three-year winter.

One day, a man follows Alex home and shoots her. The next day, she wakes up in her bed and, despite gruesome memories of her own death, forces herself to go to school. On the walk there, she witnesses something she can’t quite describe: some sort of entity getting mauled to death by a force she can’t see or comprehend. The dying creature’s shadow casts onto her, physically wraps around her, and forms a suit of armor. Long story short, this allows her to walk through the time stream in order to fight monsters that exist in time in a way we don’t understand.

(Fun fact: Alex’s story was going great until I realized I didn’t understand a thing about Alaska’s relationship with its indigenous people and spent days googling things that did nothing to help me understand :’3 I felt I was mishandling the setting and everything crawled to a standstill)

Carson lives in the near future. Young Carson is fine being assigned female, but they keep getting visions of themselves as a tall, lean man with a sword. It gets to the point where they keep forgetting how long their arms actually are -- like they’re used to being taller.

They keep finding incredibly finely-crafted, modern, machined swords hidden in strange places. They keep recognizing them. And they keep getting drawn into violent conflicts where they’re forced to use these weapons.

As Carson gets older, sword fighting overtakes more and more of their life, and they come out as agender. Their body proportions grow to match the man from their visions. They develop a supernatural sense to ‘feel’ the movements other people are making with their bodies -- to feel your arm as though it’s their own. Using this power, they become a paranormal exterminator of sorts.

An unnamed woman from the Gobi desert (because I realized I know nothing about the linguistic conventions of that region and don’t want my white ass to slap some Mandarin on her lolol) grew up in a militaristic society where the unforgiving climate of the expanding desert combined with monster attacks to make survival next to impossible. Their society is at war with the monsters, and uses armored trains covered in spikes to traverse the wastelands safely. However, she tried out for the leader’s personal guard and received a set of armor and intensive magic training when she passed the test. Her trademark is the ability to make force bounce off on contact. For example, she can fall straight down off a cliff, hit the ground, and rather than taking the shock of the fall directly into her body, she can deflect the force so that she flies forward and armor-punches a monster’s face off. Uncertain circumstances bring her to America to confront Carson.

...It’s late. I’ve got a lot down already, but a lot more still to follow XD Feel free to ask for more info about anyone if you’re curious though!

#long post #Den rambles #nobody loves Kasval #lolol you don't even know who Kasval is yet or why he's my OC tag

[tryingtobe21-blog]

Letter to myself, from 24 year old Diana

Hi there.  I’m 24 year old Diana. Tomorrow I turn 25. And as I go back and read all my old “letters to myself” - jokes I didn’t read any leading up to this blog, buuuuut the times when I have gone back and read them, I’m always like "welp, I’m old now.” As if something just ticks over and boom, I’m old. It also becomes more and more ridiculous to read every year I get older, cause current me who is reading the letter from past me is always like, “You were so young and naive. You weren’t old back then. You’re old now.” But every year it’s the same thing. I freak out- because all of a sudden “I’m old”.  And I maybe cry. For what? I don’t know. And then I carry on. And rinse and repeat. I actually found this old blog a week or so ago and read like, 5 sentences and was like “eh, I’ll come back to it”. And didn’t. But as I’m on the brink of 25 and wishing I had started this a few hours earlier, I find myself typing this letter to myself as appose to writing it like I usually do. I may still write one out, cause I love looking back at my old handwriting. But it’s so interesting to read and listen to the voice of my younger self. I always actually find myself thinking- wow what a cool person. She’s so nice and supportive, and so hurt and maybe a little broken, but overall a nice person. She’s always wanting the best for her future self. Always looking back at the past with sad eyes. Looking to the future with hope. And seemingly unhappy in the present.  Annnnyway. Okay- so. How do I do this? I forget. Damn I figured it would just flow out of me, but it’s not. I’m a little stuck. I don’t even know where my old letters are to go back and read- damn I hope I can find them later.. 

Okay look- the last year, the last 365 days ago starting Sep 6th has been a real rollercoaster. For the world, for my family, for myself. 1. I have to start with Trump has been elected president. What the hell. Why this. 2. I got a new job and got MY FIRST RAISE. I moved from my >35k a year job at Inkman making stamps (and hating my life) to being a Product Designer at Preno a tech start up developing a property management app. Fancy speak for “our software helps hotels do their thang- make bookings, take payments, charge extras, send invoices etc. I’m not going into detail. But yeah. I moved from 47k to 50k if I’m not mistaken.  3. I moved out and moved in with Mark for our 4 year anniversary. Wow If I had told 16 year old Diana that her parents would let her move in with her long term boyfriend at the age of 24, she would not have believed me. Although I kinda didn’t ask. It stemmed from a huge fight where papa pulled everything out of my room while I was at Mark’s for the weekend and apparently yelled at Mama and Fat. And they rang me. And like ruined my day. And CJ and Sarah came over and I was so upset and we had to leave to go back to see them I think and clear my stuff from the hallway. And then a few days later we found a house I think? I don’t know- the timeline is all a bit hazy.  4. Mark and I celebrated our 5 years and went for our first degustation at Kazyua.  5. Grandpa passed away. And Uncle Jeff and Grand Uncle Vincent passed away :( Grandpa passing away was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I was numb for months and didn’t trust my feelings or thoughts to not be grief stricken. I wish I had taken to writing at that time. Because I swear some hauntingly and honest things would have come out of me. Damn, I wish I had. Fuck. I also low-key struggle to remember how bad it was. Although I guess I could go back and listen to old Whatsapp voice notes. I really struggled with that.  6. I got Grandpas signature, a circle for a story Grand Uncle Vincent told me, and a tooth tattooed. 

7. I build Preno’s new marketing website and and I’m the process of refreshing it.  8. We redesigned Settings and Reporting.  You know- actually. See I wanted to do a year in review and a goals and values uhm, setting? Reflection? But this letter to myself is turning into that.  Okay, look I wanna make this more personal. I’m gonna tell you- a lot of bad things have happened this year. We’ve had a lot of deaths in our family. I watched grandpas casket burn. It’s etched into my memory. But I also celebrated a milestone with my work and boyfriend. I up-skilled in my job. I became really good friends with Amanda Teo. I’m leaning eyeshadow. I started a blog that has yet to launch. I moved out. I’m pretty happy. I’m trending upwards. And the bad stuff- well, I guess that’s got to happen. Right? Death is inevitable.  I want to tell you, 24 was a happy year. It was an incredibly sad year but also a good year. You’ve grown so much, looking back to the incredibly dark and unhappy girl you once were. You did design and got a job in it. You followed your dream and worked hard. Continue to work hard! Oh! You’re going to the gym now! It’s great! You’ve never been so fit and strong. When people ask “do you even lift?” you can say “yes, yes I do”. Wonder Woman came out and never have you ever heard your name said that many time. You have a Naruto tattoo in mind. Uhm. Please look after Grandma. She’s you last one. And she’s old. You currently give her money when you can. And visit her every week. Please go with her to buy a sari. It may be your last chance. You asked mama and papa for jewellery for Christmas. I’m/you’re (wow I’m bad at this like 1st person, 3rd person thing, I’m gonna stick to I) I’m really excited. You’re happy. And you’re doing well. I’m so proud of you, of where you came from and where you are now. Our parents rarely said they were happy for us. But I am happy for us. Remember you cant fight every idiot that you come across, or you’d get nowhere. But don’t be afraid to express yourself. Talking to the opposite sex isn’t flirting. You don’t owe anyone a relationship status. If they read you wrong then that’s on them, you can’t assume everyone is “up for grabs you pig”. You’re a feminist and be proud of it. Don’t get mad at Mark, just explain things to him calmly. He will learn. Talk to him. He loves you. It’s okay not to know things, and it doesn’t show weakness to not know things, just go an find out. Take your vitamins. Looks after your body, it’s the only one you have. Think about in input versus the output. The investment versus the return. Is the energy you put into a certain action going to be worth the outcome? Sometimes it’s best to think of the desired outcome and find the best path to that. Life is like a big chess game. Too bad I’m shit at chess. Tell mama and papa you love them whenever you can. It’s hard to type but you don’t know how long you have the people you love. Treat Mark every now and then, he looks after you. And pays for shit for you. SAVE YOUR MONEY. Think about the long term happiness over the short term. Please. This year you have not been good with money, although you have a bunch of cool things. OMG you have your USA trip coming up - for CJ and Sarah’s wedding, how grown up is it to be travelling for a wedding. Ooh-la-la. What a grown up. Jokes I had chocolate for breakfast yesterday.  I hope Aunty Yvonne buys me that Hello Kitty balloon.  I don’t know what else to say. I’m rambling at this point. And always leave things too late. Things being to write this letter. I will review my year and goals etc. tomorrow. What’s another day. Hahah. Uhm, yeah. Look after yourself and the ones you love. Try not to worry and stress too much. Try do what’s best for you and those around you. Be selfless but selfish when you need to. You don’t owe anybody anything except those who are important to you. Love yourself. Be safe. I love you and I’m proud of you. Be good to yourself. Stay cool. Be lame. Continue to not care what people think (although we know you kinda still do).  Lots of love

Kind regards

See you next year (although hopefully before then), 

24 year old Diana.